"I sense a disturbance in the Force, we must be getting close." Armora announced, treading confidently along the beaten path. Qui-Gon and Constella watched her lead in her dark Warrior attire, her blond hair swaying back and forth across her back. If the sun had turned dark, she blended perfectly in the shadows it would be hard for either of them to see her. While they wore lighter Jedi apparel, they knew they would stick out more than Armora, which didn't bother them too much. It made it easier for Armora to find them, or sneak up on their enemies if they were ambushed. "The sun will be setting soon, we gotta hurry."
With Armora leading the way, Qui-Gon made sure he kept his pace in-sync with Contsella's. He didn't need to be a mind reader to know what she was thinking. Like any mother, she was configuring a new way to hide her family, a new place to call home, starting over again. Obi-Wan, although she would not admit it, is much safer with Qui-Gon. However, that left her with the responsibility of the younger two children. However, with her oldest child in Jedi, she refused to allow her daughter and youngest son to become involved in their brother's career. She vowed on Nathaniel's birth that both he and Acleara would live normal, human lives.
"I can understand your concern for Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon's amiable voice brought her out of her thoughts. She blinked, and paused for a second making sure they weren't facing an enemy while she was lost in her thoughts. "I''m concerned about him as well, Constella, but why am I sensing something more is on your mind?"
Constella glanced down at her feet, watching them drag along the dirt and leaves. There was so much she wanted to say, she wasn't certain what she should say. It has been years since she last confided into someone, at least someone who would understand her situation. Qui-Gon, more than anyone, would understand her and the situation at hand. In a way, Qui-Gon reminded her of a younger Be-Ji before their marriage. Be-Ji could always tell what was on her mind, and he always supported her with a gentle, tranquil manner that would make any woman swoon. And Qui-Gon has been there for her the last few days, unlike Be-Ji, Qui-Gon would be actually looking out for her son and be somewhat of a father to him.
"I feel his anger, and his suffering." She answered in a soft voice Qui-Gon almost didn't hear her. She raised her head, but still didn't look at him.
Qui-Gon sighed and shook his head. Constella spoke as if she and Obi-Wan were one of the same being, two parts of a whole.
"How can you feel his anger and his suffering? I don't understand." Qui-Gon wondered, tilting his head to the side. He never understood mother's and the bond they had with her children. Over the last few days, Qui-Gon realized that Constella loves her children equally, but she has a much stronger bond with Obi-Wan than with Acleara or Nathaniel. He imagined Obi-Wan's birth was a pleasant surprise for both parents, he changed their world and opened up a new one. They did these things together, but Constella was always there after Be-Ji had left. She was left to be the main support, the strong one, and she had two roles to play in his life. So that made the bond between them much stronger. Than Qui-Gon thought perhaps most mother's have a much stronger bond with their first born for a multiple of reasons.
Constella took a step ahead of him, and turned to face him. Qui-Gon gasped, his heart nearly stopped and his feet came to an abrupt halt, nearly bumping into her. Her bright blue eyes stared hard at him like sharp ice cicles shooting out at him. The sun was setting over the horizon, the sun's golden rays shined through the leaves on the tree branches onto her blond hair making it appear like gold thread. Her skin seemed to glow under the ray's, and her eyes shined like reflections on the sea surface. Qui-Gon felt his throat tightened, and his heart picking up pace. Despite the fierce, hard look she was giving him, he was awestruck. He didn't realize he was staring until she continued talking.
"Do not suggest that I do not feel my son's suffering, it has been the pain same for years. And after every abduction, I see him laying in the hospital bed just withering in pain. And I do not mean just physical pain." Constella shut her eyes and swallowed down the hard lump in her throat, while her heart ached remembering what Obi-Wan went through in the past. She fought back the words she wanted to say, the anger, heated words that would've been looked down upon by any other mother. She knew she had to try to keeping up the brave and strong mother manner. "The concept of parenting is foreign to you, so I will spare you the spiel of how important a child is to a parent. However, you must understand that my world has changed many times. It became brighter when I met Be-Ji, then when I had Obi-Wan and Acleara. My world quickly became dark when Be-Ji abandoned us and began kidnapping my children. After every rescue, I was there and I have to hear the things his father did to him. You cannot fathom the fear in his eyes, the pain he was suffering. And every word, every groan and cry of pain hit my heart like meteors falling out of the sky. I was not physically there, but a part of my heart and soul was ripped from me. Have I cleared any confusion you have, Qui-Gon?"
Qui-Gon stared at her while she spoke, her words heavy and hard while her glare remained firm. She did have a point, he didn't understand what it meant to be a parent. He did care for Obi-Wan, he just wasn't certain he saw Obi-Wan as a son or as his apprentice. He was strong and wise, it was hard for him to visualize Obi-Wan screaming in pain, or being used as a scientific experiment. But he was more surprised how Constella addressed her son.
"You addressed him as 'Obi-Wan' and not 'Benjamin'." Qui-Gon almost immediately regretted his words. Constella clenched her jaw tightly, and her eyes grew colder.
"Of all the things I just said, that is the only matter you bring up?" She asked with a low, deep voice. She shut her eyes again, and sucked in a deep breath. Qui-Gon waited for her to start screaming at him. To his surprise, she released her breath and opened her eyes. Her facial expression simmered slightly, but her eyes were still like ice. "Obi-Wan, is the name his father gave to him at birth while I was still resting from labor." As she spoke, she felt her anger slowly melt away. The memory of Obi-Wan's birth as clear as the sky, bringing a smile to her face. "I named him Benjamin because...I just... I wanted him to..." She paused, picking at her memories. For the life of her, she couldn't remember why she gave him two names. Sighing, she glanced up at the sky. The light blue has darkened into a darker blue, and with the sun on the horizon, it added the color's of purple and pink. One of the perks she loved with living on Earth. The sunset's were always beautiful. "Perhaps I meant for my children to be more Earth-like, perhaps I meant for them to have simple names. Or he would not be harassed for their names at school. I truly cannot say why I gave my older children two different names. To be frankly honest, I do not know why I did these things when I was young and married. Looking back on it now, I wished I had done things differently."
Differently.
The word echoed in his mind, the tone in her voice suggested the word meant something deep. Qui-Gon knew enough about her family to understand they had faced a lot of obstacles. Constella was kicked out of her home, married at a young age and had a child nearly a year after that. But things were working out for them, they were building something together. Life was practically perfect. Then everything changed in one night. The man of the house was gone, leaving the mom to raise the children on her own. And the father turned into something of an obsessed Knight, desperate to continue his legacy. And now she blames herself for everything, and Qui-Gon wasn't much help.
Of course, there would be plenty of regrets to go around. The question was, what did she regret?
"Do you regret having your children?" Qui-Gon decided to ask, taking a step to her.
Her mouth fell open, then quickly closed. Qui-Gon could see she was stunned by his question. "I will never regret having my children, they mean more to me than my own life." She paused, glancing down at her feet, deep in thought. Before he could stop himself, Qui-Gon grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently. A wave of sadness washed over her face, Qui-Gon's heart ached seeing her like this. He was starting to despise Be-Ji, not because of Obi-Wan's sake, but for Constella's sake. Words build up in his chest and he wanted to say them to her, but he knew better than to say them. He couldn't let feelings come between them, nor allow them to interfere with the mission. Constella sighed again, both of them knew what she was going to say next, and it was still hard for her to admit it, despite what she and the children have gone through. "I do regret not informing Be-Ji about my being part Jedi from the start. If I had, maybe, my children would have grown up with a father. However, since I was so stubborn, things have to be this way."
Armora scoffed, causing both of them to gasp and jump. Constellla yanked her hand out of his, grabbed her light saber and activated it. Qui-Gon had his hand on his light saber, but didn't activate it. Neither of them had realized that she stopped, and was listening to their conversation. "Stubborness run's on your father's side of the family. You are just as rebellious he. I would not be surprised if that boy inherited that gene."
Qui-Gon narrowed his eyes at her, feeling heavily offended how Armora addressed Obi-Wan.
"Enough, Mother." Constella grumbled, deactivating the light saber and clipping it back onto her belt. Brushing her hands together, she marched forward and past Armora. "Let us get going, the sooner we find my son, the sooner you will leave."
"You are so determined to be rid of me." Armora said over her shoulder, lowering her head. Constella heard her depressed tone, but she didn't care. She was determined to keep her promise, and wasn't going to allow herself to bound with her mother again. "All those years of traveling, I wondered if you would ever try to fix our relationship."
"Did we ever have a relationship, Mother?" Constella stopped in her path, keeping her back to Amora. Qui-Gon watched both women with their backs to each other. He waited for both of them to summon their light sabers and begin a battle. "You and I have nothing, not what I have with my own daughter. All my life, you have done nothing but point out my flaws, pushed me beyond my limits, always believing you could change me. Permit me to ask, Mother, what about me required fixing?"
"I am a legend, Constella. I had expectations I wanted-"
"Your expectations were unrealistic." Constella spun around, the fierce anger appeared again. Pain shown heavily in her eyes she reminded Qui-Gon of Obi-Wan. "If I made so much as one, minor mistake you would treat it as it would be the end of creation. How could you expect me to turn out like you, a Warrior reaching legendary status, when you married a human?"
Armora sucked in a deep breath and stuck her chest, standing like a soldier in line. She spun around, facing her adult daughter with a more calm expression.
"My expectations for you were not unrealistic." Armora shot the last word like a bullet, struggling to keep her demeanor calm. "What I expect out of you, my mother expected out of me. Thanks to her, I turned out to be a Knight the Council relies on to keep those like Be-Ji in line. I am both a Knight and a Healer, a rarity. And because of you, there will never be another."
Constella clenched her fist together tightly, her hand itching for her light saber. "You claim to be the all knowing mother just because you are titled 'Warrior'. When in reality, you know nothing of what the last few years. You know only what the Council has told you, nothing more."
"I know enough to see what raising three children as a single mother will do to a child." Armora struggled to keep her voice low and strong. She had forgotten just how stubborn, and headstrong her daughter was. A trait she inherited from Jefferson. She felt words building in her chest, and she decided to not hold those back. "Perhaps it would have been better if the circumstances were different-"
"Circumstances?!"
"-things would have turned out differently." Armora disregarded Constella's words, hoping to make a point. "After all, I raised you with Jefferson, and look the way you turned out."
"I turned out to be a wonderful mother to my children!" Constella shouted loudly, her voice echoed in the woods. Her heart began to ache, and tears were building up. "Unlike you, I did not need any man to help me raise my children. And let me tell you this-"
"This is not the time nor the place for this." Qui-Gon jumped in, standing in between the mother and daughter brawl, putting his hands out. Both women held their ground, looking past him. He prayed they hadn't forgotten their agenda, why Armora was even with them to begin with. And time was running short. "We have to find Obi-Wan, get him away from Be-Ji, and get him to the hospital. You can deal with your relationship problems later."
"Yes, that boy matters more than trying to help my daughter."
Qui-Gon shot his head over at her. "'That 'boy' you're referring to is your grandchild-"
"No grandchild of mine would be raised like this, not without a proper father." She said slowly, her words hot and heavy. "I would have raised him-"
"But you did not, nor will you ever." Qui-Gon shot again, taking in some satisfaction at her shocked expression. He didn't care what he said to her, odds were they would never see each other again after the rescue. And he wanted her to never interfere with Constella or her children ever again. For some reason, he felt it was his job to insure it. "You know nothing about Obi-Wan. He is a loyal, knowledgeable student and he will mature into a Knight who relies on words instead of actions. And that is because of the parenting styles of your daughter." Qui-Gon pointed to Constella when he said her name. "And I am more than proud to have him as my apprentice. You don't have any right to talk about him like that, nor disrespect Constella's parenting. I suggest you keep such opinions to yourself, or you can depart now and abort your mission."
"You asked for my help."
"Yes, but if you are going to disrespect my Padawan in such a manner, than I will risk our chances fighting him alone." Qui-Gon wasn't certain if he believed his own words. However, he felt something had to be done and he couldn't risk allowing Armora slowing them down.
"You act as if Obi-Wan is your own child."Armora studied him carefully, crossing her arms. "I though such a relationship should not exist between Master and Apprentice?"
Qui-Gon realized she had a point, but he quickly put the questions aside. They can't afford for him to delay any more. "They are built on trust and friendship, and some Master's are looked up to as role models."
"Tell me, then, if your Padawan and his mother trust you so, how well do you know them? Did you even know of Constella's existence before this point?"
"We are not here to discuss the relationship between Master and Padawan, we are here to save my son from his father."
"I will be back with food and medicine. I expect you-"
"Just go." Obi-Wan mumbled, laying flat on the cot, rubbing his sweating forehead. They had just finished with another transfusion, he was thrilled when this one didn't burn as bad. However, it also meant that his body was started to get use to the poisons which would make it harder to get out. Never the less, he was glad about the heated pain at the moment. The cell was always so cold, so the pain made him feel warmer to where he didn't need a lot of blankets.
Memories flooded Obi-Wan's mind. His body laid still as stone on the cot, staring blankly at the stone ceiling. The dim light illuminated from the end of the hall, the long shadows seemed to be glaring down at him like the doctors and nurses during his hospital visits. In the past, after he was rescued, his mother made sure he was taken immediately to the nearest hospital. On certain planets, they had the medical advancements Earth could only dream of. Those developments have saved his life many times. If he wasn't going through the process personally, he would have found the processes fascinating. Each planet had their own advances, and Obi-Wan loved to watch and learn. A perk from being a Padawan. At some hospitals, their medical procedures were easier than others. He remembered the times when he didn't feel the tainted blood leave his body, just a bright light and the pain was gone. The other times were much more traumatizing than he would care to remember.
Amazingly, Constella stayed with him. She managed to sit calmly in the waiting room while the doctors worked to drain the chemicals. However, when she was finally allowed to see him, she barged through the door and up to her son's bed. He would be laying down on the bed, struggling to keep his eyes open. More than anything, he wanted to see her. She would sit down next to his bed, comforting him in any way possible. At times, his body was so numb he couldn't feel her hand running through his hair. Other times, his body screamed in pain from just laying on the bed. She would use words or rubbing his back to help ease his pain, focus on something other than his father. It always amazed Obi-Wan, when he looked back at those memories, thinking of how strong Constella was throughout the entire event. Never had she thought of giving up, give in to her fears, or given up on him.
"I never realized how strong my mother was." He whispered to himself, trying to turn on his side. The pain turned his body into stone, holding his still on his back.
It was a mother's love that kept him going, never the less, Obi-Wan still grew to fear his father after each abduction, transfusions and the process of draining the poison from his system. In a way, he was glad that this happening to him and not his brother or sister. He never would forgive himself or Be-Ji.
"Things were not always so bad." He whispered to himself, watching the guards' shadows dance in and out of the pillar shadows. Obi-Wan managed to fight back the pain enough to turn his head slightly to the side, so he could watch the door. "You were once my father. Then you found out my mother, your wife, was not the woman you thought she was. I can't imagine how that must have felt. But I have to ask; was it so bad that you had to leave us? Abandon your children to live in fear?"
I grew up watching other children with their fathers. For years I pondered why I don't have that kind of relationship with my own father. It's grown into a norm for me to not have a father. I never really tried to search for a father figure, and mom wouldn't consider remarrying a human. She would never put another man at risk with what we were going through.