She was quiet for a while.
Too quiet.
Finn hoped that she was just worried about her car, but he couldn't even fool himself.
Sam.
He sneaked a look back at her. Her head rested against the window, watching the dull scenery fly past. He placed his hand on hers, trying to give her a reassuring smile. She simply pulled away and continued to stare out the window.
Finn sighed, "It's Sam, isn't it?" he whispered.
"He's my boyfriend" she whispered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"I don't know why you keep doing this Quinn" he said hotly.
Quinn scoffed, finally looking at him, "Doing what?".
"Saying you love Sam, and then coming back to me. Does it ever possibly cross your mind that it kills me, whenever you say you love him or you're his girlfriend?" he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.
Quinn flinched at his words, making him immediately feel bad for yelling at her.
"It kills me Quinn" he said weakly.
"I'm sorry" she whispered as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. "I can't do anything without hurting someone. If I be with you Sam gets hurt and if I be with Sam you get hurt! Please... Just... Understand" she begged as she wiped away the last of her tears.
Finn only sighed as he pulled up at his own driveway.
"This isn't my house Finn" Quinn said, knotting her perfect eyebrows together.
He gave her a weak smile, "I know. But who else is gonna help me with Spanish?".
Quinn immediately tensed, a guilty look on her face. "…Finn, I-" she started.
"Please Quinn. I'm begging you" he said, giving her a pleading look.
Quinn sucked in a breath, "Okay".
He nodded happily as she gave him a half-hearted smile in return. As she climbed out of his car she gave him a stern look, "1 hour. That's it".
"Thank you!" he yelled, sinking to his knees.
Quinn giggled, "Okay, don't get too excited. It's Spanish, remember?". Finn only nodded, as he stood up, giving her a wide smile.
She couldn't help herself, she grinned back.
"I don't understand any of this" Finn said finally.
Quinn looked up from the many, many sheets of Spanish she had written to help Finn memorize some conjugations. Unfortunately for her, Finn had the shortest attention span when it came to school work.
He hasn't changed she mused to herself as stared at the same piece of paper for 10 minutes.
Finn looked up, expecting to see a very annoyed Quinn storming out of his room.
She laughed.
Laughed.
"What?" he said stupidly, not finding anything entertaining in the room. Trust me, he'd checked.
"You looked so scared, like I was going to slap you or something" she said between catching her breath.
He gave her a smile in response, focusing his attention on her still wet uniform.
Finn cleared his throat awkwardly, "I've got some boxers and a shirt if you wanna change…".
"No. its fine" she said, waving her hand dismissively.
Typical Quinn.
He walked off to his dresser, grabbing an old t-shirt and some boxers, then threw them back onto his bed. Quinn reached over and took the clothes, looking at him weirdly.
He smiled, "I'll be in the hall" he said.
He walked out, smiling to himself when he heard the sound of footsteps in his room.
"Hey, Finn?" Quinn said as she came out of his room.
Finn turned around, blanching when he saw her. Her hair was out in loose curls, resting softly on his old thin t-shirt, which hung over his checkered boxers. "Finn" she said again, noticing his obvious trance. Finn snapped up, "Wha-what?". She sighed, although with a faint smile on her lips, "I said, I'm kinda hungry, do you want to eat?" she asked. Finn smiled at her, "Sure", following behind her as she made her down the stairs.
As expected, Finn was no whiz in the kitchen.
I mean, sure, he could make a great grilled cheese sandwich, but seriously, who could live off sandwiches?
It wouldn't be that bad… Sandwiches are awesome! Finn thought to himself as he watched Quinn fill a large pot with water. Finn glanced at the clock, So much for the hour thing. Quinn bent down, turning the dial on the stove, making that annoying clicking noise as it tried to start a fire. He raised his eyebrows as he leaned against the kitchen bench, totally not checking her out. Quinn then spun around, letting out a frustrated sigh as she placed the pot back in the sink. She stopped though, noticing Finn quickly turning his head to the window, a healthy color rising on his neck.
"Were you just checking me out?" she asked, smirking.
Finn cocked a crooked grin at her, shrugging, "Maybe".
She shoved him lightly onto the pantry, "Pervert", though quietly giggling to herself.
Finn stood stunned for a couple of seconds. Did she just… shove me? Fine. You want a war Fabray, you got one. Finn walked behind her, quickly grabbing her wrists and hauling her over his shoulder, grinning widely.
"Finn. Put me down" she said, giggling slightly.
"Never!" he yelled, starting to laugh, releasing her body slightly so she fell a good foot or 2.
She screamed as she slid down his back, "Truce! Truce!" she yelled at him, holding her hands up in mock surrender.
Finn's grin turned into a smug smile as he let her down gently.
"Did you really think that was going to end well for you there?" he said, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph.
Quinn stepped back from him, still holding her hands up. She let a giggle escape her lips, shaking her head slowly. He simply grinned at her as she got the pot from the sink, holding it front of her.
Finn scrunched his eyebrows, "What are you doing?" he asked.
Quinn only gave an innocent smile, "This" she said as she threw the water from the pot over his head.
Finn slowly opened his eyes, squirting water from his mouth. Quinn stood there, biting her lip as she struggled to contain her fits of laughter.
Finn wiped the water from his eyes, "You. Are. So. Dead" he said, fighting the smile shining on his face.
He lunged at her, causing her to scream and run through the house. He chased after Quinn, finally catching her running up the stairs. Just like before, he swung her over his shoulders, ignoring her fists weakly beating against his back, all the while their laughter ringing throughout the house. Finn finally reached the bathroom, quickly stepping into the bath tub, sliding her in front of him and sprayed her. She squealed as the cold water hit her skin as she tried, yet again, to escape from Finn's death grip. Finn stepped forward, intending to trap her completely, his breath caught as he slipped, letting go of the shower head to grasp onto the side. Quinn laughed as she took the shower head from the floor, pushing Finn down on the bottom of the tub. He grinned as he tried to take it from her, hands slipping every time. She laid herself on top of him, manically giggling as she held the water in front of his face. Finn spat some water out of his mouth, trying again to snatch the head from her grasp. His hand clasped around hers, almost by accident.
Her eyes drifted from the spouting water to his hand, a blush rising in her cheeks as she realized she was straddling him, though she made no move to get off.
The laughing stopped.
He reached up, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. She shut her eyes tight, melting as his hand touched her face. She then leant down slowly, almost cautiously, and pressed her lips against his. He immediately responded, tangling one hand in her wet her, another against the small of her back, feeling the water run harmlessly past him. Finn slowly stood up, hoisting her against the wall. He attacked her lips roughly, savoring her taste. He lifted her again, stumbling to his bedroom. He laid her against the sheets slowly, gently.
And in that moment, where he stood in that trance, counting the shades in her hair, the colors in her eyes. She was only his.
Those words coursed through his mind like venom as he hungrily kissed her neck, his hand sliding up her top. She gasped at the warmth of his hand against her skin. Finn weaved his fingers through her hair, the other pulling her towards him.
Then she felt her stiffen against his body, "Finn…" Quinn murmured, her voice broken and weak as she pulled away.
His eyes opened as the warmth of her body left him.
He sat up, watching her move further away from him as she sat at the edge of the bed. It didn't take him long to realize she was crying. He sat next to her, trying to make eye contact. She refused, turning her attention in front of her, tears still streaming down her face.
He sighed, "…Quinn".
She flinched at the mention of her name. He reached for her hand, still smiling as he felt how small hers was compared to his. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away, she laced her fingers in his, squeezing it tight. He glanced at her again; she bit her lip, trying to contain sobs. He couldn't stand to see her like this, to see her so broken. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tight. Her broken sobs filled the room. He brought her closer, her cries muffled by his shoulder. He kissed the top her head, lying down with her.
"Can you promise me something?" she whispered against his neck.
"Anything" he said.
"Can we pretend… just for 10 minutes?" she asked.
He didn't need to ask what she meant.
Pretend we're not cheating.
Pretend that everything's going to end up okay.
Pretend that you're mine.
"We can pretend forever" he breathed against her hair.
He brought his face to hers, wiping a lone tear trickling down her face. He gave her a small smile before pressing his lips against hers. He pulled her closer,
"Everything's going to be okay. I promise".
"Do you think it was a mistake, having sex with me?" he asked her.
He knew it was wrong to ask her. Especially here, now. While she lay in bed with him while her current boyfriend was at home, confident that Quinn was faithful to him and only him. It made Finn sick to think of how heartbroken Sam would be if he found out.
It didn't take much imagination, he'd been there.
His gut wrenched as he waited for her answer. She was silent, her eyebrows creased in thought as she played absentmindedly with his hand. He wished he could see past her golden green eyes, to see in her mind, wondering what she was thinking.
What if she doesn't feel the same?
What if she never breaks up with Sam?
He didn't think he could stand to see her with him again.
Sam with his hands all over his Quinn.
"No" she whispered. He let out a small smile, breathing in her vanilla scented hair. He swore he could get high off her smell alone.
"Do you think I'm a bad person Finn?" Quinn asked, turning her face into his chest.
The question could him off guard, "No… why would you think anyone would think you were a bad person?" he asked her.
She breathed in deeply, "I lied…About everything… I lied to you about Puck and me, about… Drizzle… and now I'm lying to Sam about us. I'm not a good person Finn".
Her voice faltered as Finn felt his top grow wet with her tears.
He rubbed her back soothingly, "It doesn't matter about what you did to me, I'm okay, we're okay. And Sam will never know. I'm not gonna tell him, you're not. You're a good person Quinn, amazing actually…" he trailed off, enveloping her in his arms.
"Thank you" she whispered, cupping his cheek.
He smiled sadly, closing his eyes at the touch of her hand. The next thing he felt was her lips on his. She pulled away, mimicking his smile.
"I should go" she said.
He shut his eyes tighter in dread as he felt her hand slip away. He nodded as she sat up, grabbing her uniform off the floor. She stood up, sad smile still in tacked.
"Finn. Maybe we should just stop. Just be friends" she said slowly, looking down at her hands.
He nodded in agreement as he became numb.
He watched his image of her walking away from a not so heartbroken Sam into his arms, a bright smile on her face, shatter into a million tiny pieces on the wooden floor.
"Friends" he said, plastering a fake grin on her face. She smiled as she turned around making her way to his car. He stood in his room for a while, his fake grin immediately dropping as she left. He turned towards his bed, seeing him and Quinn together not moments before just talking. Her face buried in his chest, his arms securely around her. He sighed, wishing if there was anyone he could be, it would be Sam.
Just so he could be with her.
Despite their new "friend" agreement, the ride to Quinn's was silent.
He wished he could say something to her. Maybe a joke, just anything to lighten the somber mood. His car creaked as he pulled up in her driveway, Finn's hard face staring at the house in front of him. He got out of the car, slamming his door as he walked to Quinn's side, opening hers. She stepped out and walked in silence with Finn to the front door.
Quinn turned to him, "Thanks for driving me home, Finn". She smiled up at him.
He smiled back, "Hey, don't sweat it. It's what friends are for right?". He let his smile drop as he tapped her on the shoulder, like he would do with Puck or Mike.
And he walked away.
"I'm so sorry" he heard her say from behind him.
He stopped, spinning around in anger, "Oh you're sorry? Really Quinn, really? Because that seems to be your theme song for the entire fucking week!" he yelled.
She flinched, a tear falling down her face, "What do you want me to do, Finn? Huh? What do you want me to do?" she begged.
Finn threw his hands in the air, "I want you to break up with Sam! I want you to be with me!" he shouted, then in a weaker tone, "I want you to choose me…".
"I have always chosen you" Quinn choked, more tears beginning to stream down her face.
He nodded, "Mmm… right… because with Puck? That was just a sleepover. And Sam? Yeah, he's just a friend" he said sarcastically.
"You were with Rachel! I wanted you to be happy! She yelled at him. She looked down, "I needed you to be happy".
Finn stopped, feeling like a major dick as he noticed her torn expression.
"I was never happy" he whispered, "Maybe… maybe sometimes I was… but whenever I saw you, looking at Puck, or Sam… I just…" he faltered.
"You just what?" Quinn sniffled, wiping her eyes. He sighed, stepping towards her,
"I just couldn't help wishing that you still looked at me like that". She bit her lip, trying to contain her tears. "Quinn I-" he started before he was interrupted by the buzzing of Quinn's phone.
She looked at him apologetically, before answering it. "Hello?" she said, clearing her throat.
"Hey Quinn" Sam said from the phone.
"Hey" she said, trying to sound happy.
"What are you doing tonight" he asked.
Quinn wiped another tear from her face before answering, "Um… nothing what are you doing?".
Sam laughed, it made Finn's blood boil.
"What a coincidence… You. Me. Breadstix. 8. Sound good?".
Quinn cast a look at Finn, "Um… Sam…" she started.
"Yeah?" he said, voice unsuspecting of anything.
"Pick me up in an hour" she said weakly.
And with that, Finn walked off towards his car, thrusting his hands in his pockets.
"Finn wait!" she called out to him, running out to him. He kept walking towards his car, hanging his head lower. She kept running to him, "Finn please!" she yelled.
He spun around, hurt clearly etched on her face, "What?".
She placed her hands on his neck, pulling him towards her lips.
He slowly put his arms around her, pulling her closer to his body. "I'm sorry" she said against his lips. He stayed with her for a few more seconds before pulling away.
He looked up, "I'm sorry too, Quinn".
And just like that, he walked back to his car.
Just like that, he left her.
Tuesday.
He tried to apologize. He tried to make it right.
Wednesday.
He tried again. Nothing.
Thursday.
She walked down the hallway with Sam. Their hands linked together, her promise ring shining.
He needed to throw up.
Friday.
He forgot his pencil case in his locker.
He asked her. She solemnly gave him a pencil. She never asked for it back.
Friday Afternoon.
She was practicing at the opposite end of the field. He was doing laps. He went past her. She looked up. His heart beat faster.
Friday Night.
He called. Voicemail.
Saturday.
He went past her house, staring at her driveway. Staring at two figures fighting there. The girl was crying. The boy was angry. He looked away. Then looked back. No one.
Sunday.
He went to Church. Like actually went to church. He saw her. Her hair was down from its usual ponytail. She looked beautiful. Then he noticed a tall blond next to her. He walked out.
Sunday Night.
Laying in his bed, he wondered how she could be so fine, so happy, while he was completely miserable without her.
By now, nobody so much batted an eye when he strolled through McKinley.
He figured it might have something to do with Puck considering he bitched about it all last night while he was playing with him on Halo 3. He walked down the hallway to his locker, thinking about asking Mike to help him out with a raid when he saw her. Sam at her side, rambling on about something that he couldn't hear. She looked away from Sam's face to stare in front of her, stopping as well when she saw Finn staring at her in the middle of the hallway. Sam continued to talk to her as if she was still faking that interested look.
She just stared at him, he just stared back.
It was the first time she looked at him in a week, like really looked at him.
He swallowed, ignoring a freshman's curious stare at his trance. He had no idea what to do.
Smile?
Wave?
Try to apologize.
No… he concluded. None of that would work.
He sighed, then turned to his locker. He opened the door with more force than necessary, pausing as he wondered what the hell he even came to his locker for.
History.
Super.
He bit his lip as he scanned for the heavy textbook he knew was tucked away somewhere. He found it behind his English books, finally packing his bag. He shut the door and turned around to get to his next class.
That's when he noticed the hallway was empty.
And Quinn Fabray was leaning against the lockers opposite him.
"Hi" he said, an uncertain smile playing on his lips.
"Hi" she replied, mirroring his expression.
"Quinn-" he started, but she was quicker, "Finn, don't. Just… don't".
She looked down sadly, crossing her arms protectively in front of her chest.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you the other night" he said, looking down.
She chuckled, causing Finn to look up at her in confusion, "Now who's had the theme song for the week?".
He smiled as he looked up at her, still amazed at how beautiful she looked. Finn licked his dry lips as an awkward silence settled in the hallway.
"I'm guessing you're not breaking up with Sam" he said, putting his hands in his pockets.
"He gave me a promise ring, Finn" she said, both giving a glance down to the awful, awful ring she was wearing.
Finn laughed darkly, "Yeah, how's that going for you?".
She scoffed, "Yeah, well, y'know what, Hudson? You're such a dick sometimes".
He was slightly taken aback by her reaction, he was kidding.
Sort of.
Maybe.
Not really.
He put his head down, after all, he was in the doghouse.
Quinn swallowed, "I had sex with you, Finn. And I went to your house on Monday night. And I lied to my boyfriend about it. But whatever I did with you was so wrong to Sam. After everything he's done for me. Just, can we… drop it? Please?" she asked, looking painfully alike to the Quinn that night when he told her parents everything.
"I'm sorry. But I can't" he said, looking down again.
Quinn bit her lip as she pushed herself off the lockers into the astronomy room.
Finn wasn't sure if he wanted to follow her or if Quinn even wanted him there.
So he walked past the room to his next class, which he knew he would get a detention for. He was pretty proud of himself until he heard a sob echo through the hallway.
He stopped.
Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. DON'T. Urgh… Fuck me!
He spun around, feeling like a major asshole as he opened the door to the sounds of muffled sobs. He closed the door, wincing as it made a loud click. Quinn spun around, relaxing when she saw him. She looked away from him and wiped her eyes on her cheerios jacket. He sighed as he sat down on one of the desks, Quinn following suit on the other side of the room.
"Can I ask you something?" he asked, finally looking up at her.
She snapped her head up, "Sure" she said, her voice hoarse.
He looked down again, unable to meet her sad green eyes. "Why Sam?" he said, almost not wanting to hear the answer.
"I can't hurt him, Finn" she said after a tense moment, "I can't break up with Sam to have you. Not when he's given me everything".
Finn's heart sank, even after everything she'd said, she would never break up with Sam.
They're both silent for the longest time, even after the bell for fourth period rang they didn't move.
"I'm sorry" he finally whispered, looking everywhere except at Quinn, "I was completely out of line. Y'know, trying to force you to break up with Sam. You love him. And I guess I can't compete with that" he said as he walked towards her, "I just want you to know" he said, finally facing her, "I love you, Quinn".
"I love you too" she choked, tears flowing down her face, placing her hand on his cheek.
He put his hand over hers, pressing his forehead against hers, "This is it, huh?" he said, voice cracking though giving her a small smile.
She let out a small sob before shaking her head, placing her other hand on his face and pulled him in, placing a kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes as his tears mingled with hers, savoring the last kiss he would ever have with her.
The girl who had stolen his heart, broken it into a million tiny pieces, put it together again, and with 3 words, completely shattered it again.
He placed a kiss on her forehead. He stayed like that for a while as he held her while she cried.
Finally he whispered into her hair, "Bye Quinn", removing his hands from her, his lips from her head.
She grabbed onto his hand as he walked away, giving him one last look. He closed his eyes as a few more tears escaped from his eyelids. He let go of her hand, and walked out of the classroom, putting on a painful smile.
Her words reverberating in his head, over and over again.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
I'm not going to say anything.
Because I know i'm in trouble.
It's been a month... Damn, more than a month.
And I give you a confusing 4,000 word chapter.
Way to go me.
Whatever.
I had to give you something.
The next chapter will be definitely easier to write, and it will be shorter. Oh well. If it was confusing, the bit where Finn said, "This is it, huh?" he meant that that was the last time they will have any romantic involvement. At least for a while. Sorry i'm not in a very talktative mood. I just want to get some sleep. I've been working my ass of at this chapter and I still don't like it. But hey, better late than never, right?
No?
Okay.
I'm gonna go... so, good luck with all your troubles, and have a great week.
Oh and we have... *checks* 3 chapters to go.
YES!
Because then, I have a new story for you guys. Completely AU but don't we kinda like it that way? I'll explain it to you guys in the last chapter.
Alrightie, I'm leaving. x