Dear Mr. Diary,

So today my goal is, BEING CHINESE! It's gonna bug the crap out of Edward. I can almost feel the annoyance. Well I'm off to annoy.

Emmett

"Edward!" I called.

"What?" He said, walking out his room.

"Let's hang out today!" I said.

"Um? Ok?" He said, confused. I was blocking my thoughts. But anyways he looked super confused. If I were a girl I'd probably be like "AWWWWWW" but I'm not and I'm supposedly "married."

"Um Emmett you are married, and why would you think of yourself as a girl and say, 'awwwwww' in your Unblocked thoughts?" Edward asked.

"Oops." I said, "Well anyways let's hang out."

---Walking downstairs.

"Emmett I don't wanna hang out with you today." Edward complained.

"Wai Yu Kum Nao?" I asked.

"What the hell kinda language is that?"

"I'm Chinese DUH Edward. I even get to use the accent" I said.

"Uh-huh." He said.

We got downstairs and I banged my knee on the table (and broke it) just so I could say, "Ai Bang Mai Fu Kin Ni!" I shouted.

"What the hell Emmett!? That shouldn't even have hurt."

"It did." I said. Faking pain was fun.

When we got to the park we saw Jacob, and I said, "Wai Yu So Tan?"

He looked at me and shook his head, "Leeches." he muttered.

"Mutts" I said, "Yu Stin Ki Pu"

He started to walk away, shaking, so me being the idiot I am, I said, "Kum Hia Nao."

He stopped and turned, "Why should I?"

"I said so."

"Why do you switch from one voice to another? Wasn't that Jasper's job?" He asked.

"Sure?" I said. Jacob just ran off.

"Emmett you're so stupid." Edward said.

"Dum Fuk." I muttered.

---Bella's house

We got out of the car and Bella opened the front door.

"Hi Edward, Emmett!" Bella said. She was eating chips and because I thought it would be funny I said, "Wai Yu Mun Ching?"

"Huh?" She said, "Why are you talking funny?"

"Chin Tu Fat" I said, crossing my arms.

"What is he saying?" Bella asked Edward.

"Idiot. He's speaking Idiot."

"It suits him well. Seeing how he IS an idiot."

I shook my head, "Fa King Su Pah"

"I'll be right back." Edward said.

"Were you going?" Bella asked.

"Wa Shing Ka" I said.

Edward gave me a really funny look and said, "I need to do something." And he disappeared.

"Wai So Dim?" I asked.

"It's not dim!" Bella said.

I smelled something, "Hu Yu Hai Ding?"

"What? That's probably Charlie you smell." Bella said. "If you're smelling something. He's wearing 'cologne' it stinks"

Edward's car pulled up in the drive way, and I screamed, "NO PAH KING DUM FUK!"

"Um Edward..." Bella said, "Can we leave?"

"Sure, Emmett go home so we can hang out."

"Bewwa, he has Tai Ni Po Ni!" I said, and before they could respond I left.

I heard Bella ask Edward what drugs I was taking.

I should go rob a bank... they have those good lollipops. I could be like, 'FREEZE! GIMME DEM LOLLIPOPS AND NO ONE GETS HURT!' I could do that... while I was busy thinking, I ran into a tree and smashed it down, "Oops. My bad."

Not the greatest... Oh well. Review?