Updating again and keeping the same disclaimer. Nothing still belongs to me and I still cry every time I write that sentence.
In this chapter Gwen is lecturing to the mystery person who wants to join Torchwood...
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"You need to understand that every time you step out of these doors while you're working you are going to risk your life" Gwen lectures. "It's never safe; you rarely know what you're up against until you get to the location. It's tiring, dangerous and you certainly don't get many friends."
"I understand."
"Also this job can get into your head. Don't let that happen. All the things you will see and the wonderful artefacts you find - they are not more important than your own life. If anything feels wrong you come and talk to me or Jack or Ianto about it. Is that clear?"
"Yeah… but I doubt that some alien toy will make me obsessed."
"Actually that happens pretty easily. Once we found this thing we called the Ghost Machine and seeing the past made us do pretty stupid things. And when I joined there was this Suzie and her alien glove. Because of it she killed three people and was about to kill me but then Jack showed up and she killed herself" she explains and winces at the memory. "Then she came back and almost killed me again."
"Came back? But you said she killed herself? Dead people don't just come back!"
"Well usually no but you never know with Torchwood. Dead things don't always stay dead in here. Like Jack and I think it's better that I tell you that right away. Jack can die but he doesn't stay dead. You never get used to that" she tells shaking her head. "It takes a while sometimes but if he dies just drag him to the SUV and drive him here. Or if you're in a bad place just do your job. And call Ianto. Always call Ianto or he serves you decaf for a week" she shudders.
"Okay…" the answer comes out a bit hesitant so Gwen decides that if she's doing the 'welcome to Torchwood, are you sure you want to join us?' lecture she might as well do it properly.
"Jack always tries to hide his deaths from Ianto but that never works because Ianto knows everything - that's also something you need to remember: no one knows more than him so if you have a problem with anything just ask him. And never go to the archives without a permission, he will skin you alive if you mess with his filing system. Also if he and Jack are both somewhere and you can't contact them and you know they're not on the field wait about thirty minutes before you go and look for them. We don't want you to get traumatized in your first week" she grins.
"So they are…?"
"Shagging, yes" she answers. "All over the place. Always knock if Jacks office door is closed. If you leave something in here don't come back to get it after hours. Never ever flirt with one of them if the other is present. Never ever mock Iantos coffee. Or Jacks coat. Or mention if they're acting like an old married couple."
"Okay…"
"Oh, and I forgot to mention, always keep your phone near you. If we call you have to do what we tell immediately no matter what you are doing when you get the call."
"I think I can do that. It's not like I have a life or anything."
"And I think you and Ianto and your never ending sarcasm will become good friends" Gwen smiles and claps her hands together. "So you are sure you want to join us? Become a part of the mysterious Torchwood?"
"Yeah. I'm sure."
"In that case…. Welcome to Torchwood Three Andy Davidson!" she beams.
"About a bloody time."