In the seconds she watched Molly in the road, Alex was frozen. She wanted to vomit, to scream, to die. But the split-second Gene rescued her, she was set free. As she watched the car smack into his side, she could have been back in the store room, watching him fly backwards after the bullet. The vision flashed in front of her eyes, before blending with a soft, pure white light. Gene began to fade. Molly began to fade. Everything faded into the light.

-----

She'd known before she opened her eyes exactly where she was. The strange smell, the intensity of the light behind her eyelids, and the bleeping of machinery told Alex she was in a hospital.

She'd known before she opened her eyes exactly which year it was. The absence of any memory of how she'd sustained an injury told Alex it wasn't the 26th December 2008 anymore. She wasn't at home. She wasn't in Molly's world. She was in 1982.

She didn't need to open her eyes to remember that as far as Shaz, Ray, Chris and Annie were concerned, nothing much had happened. She didn't quite know how long she'd been unconscious, but as for their friends, this was it. A few days had passed, not a couple of decades.

What about Gene? Would he remember? Had this all been in Alex's head? She couldn't be alone. She didn't want to be alone. The ache in her side was quite clearly from the wound that had split open a few nights ago- the ache in her chest was the pining for Molly and for a life she'd experienced but a few hours ago. Until it all faded into the bright light.

When Alex opened her eyes, she couldn't stop the tears falling.

"Ma'am?" Shaz asked uncertainly. "Ma'am, it's Shaz. You're in the hospital. You had a nasty knock to the head. The Guv's fine or at least, he will be. He's been awake for a couple of hours now."

Alex tried not to cry so obviously in front of Shaz, but with her arms as heavy as they were, she couldn't lift one to wipe away the fat balls of salt water that were now running at some pace down her cheeks.

"Ma'am?" Shaz asked comfortingly. "Are you in pain?"

Alex shook her head feebly, scrunching her eyes up and biting her lip.

"Gene." She muttered.

"He's fine! You'll be able to get up and see 'im tomorrow, maybe?" Shaz suggested.

Alex nodded, her eyes still scrunched up. Shaz touched her hand, feeling her warm skin and trying to offer some comfort. She had no idea what was upsetting Alex so much and she couldn't help until she did.

"Thanks, Shaz." Alex whispered.

She pulled pathetically at the covers, a sign for Shaz to tuck them around her shoulders. Then she shut her eyes once more to fall into a deep sleep.

---------

Alex finally spoke at eleven the next morning. Faithful to the last, Shaz had stayed by her bed the entire night and morning (with the exception of a couple of trips to the loo). She'd attempted conversation, but when she'd realised she wasn't getting anywhere, she'd simply sat in the uneasy silence. Ray and Chris had both popped in early that morning to check up on her, but she'd ignored them too. Shaz was worried, though she wouldn't admit it.

As she lay staring at the wall, recapping everything from the last few days, Alex knew what she needed to do. She turned back to face Shaz, who wasn't quite asleep in her chair.

"I need to see Gene." She told her simply.

Shaz jumped, and looked strangely at Alex, as if she couldn't believe she'd spoken.

"Gene? B-but Ma'am, are you strong enough? You've only been awake for-,"

"Please, Shaz." Alex pleaded. "I need to see Gene."

They didn't speak for the journey to Gene's room. Shaz took Alex's arm and walked down the corridor in silence. Alex could only think she was trying to coerce a response out of her friend, though it wasn't working. Alex didn't know what she could say really, what was there to be said? She was sorry that Shaz wasn't on her honeymoon; she didn't think she should have had to spend the week by Alex's bedside…but Alex didn't want a conversation about it. Conversation seemed pointless, when there was only one young female voice she really wanted to hear. One young female voice it was looking like she'd never hear again.

"Here you go, Ma'am." Shaz pointed through the glass window to the room they'd stopped outside. Gene was hooked up to machines, pale but awake. He sat up slowly when he saw Alex, and with effort smiled at her.

Alex tried to smile back, but couldn't feel the corners of her mouth even attempt to twitch. Leaving Shaz in the corridor, Alex sat down in the plastic chair by Gene's bed. He looked drained. But then again, taking a bullet to save Alex's life must have been draining.

"How does it feel to be the hero?" Alex murmured in a lifeless attempt to make conversation. Her throat croaked as she spoke, a sign of how little it had been used.

Gene smiled. "Do you mean for what 'appened at Luigi's…" Alex looked at her knees, unable to keep eye contact. "…or for jumping in front of a car for your daughter?"

Alex gasped and looked up again. "It was…it was real."

Gene shook his head. "No. But I was there too. I dreamt, or imagined it. I was there."

"I'm not mad?" She asked, uncertainly.

Gene chuckled sadly. "I wouldn't say that too soon. Whatever you are, we both are."

Alex looked him straight in the eyes, her eyes filling with tears. "Why? Why did it have to mess me up?" Her voice broke as a tear spilled down her pale cheek.

Gene sighed and reached out a hand to her. "I'm sorry, love. I'm really sorry."

Alex looked at her ring finger- then remembered what she was missing. Gene's mother's ring. She stroked the lonely patch of skin, bare of a ring.

"Is that really what she's like, Alex? Is that really what Molly's like?" He asked in a strained voice.

Alex let out a helpless sob. "Yeah. Yep that's exactly what she's like."

He shifted over slightly and patted the bed, wincing as he moved but making a space for her.

She sniffed and sat on the edge, curling up against him.

"Come on, love. It's all right."

Gene knew Shaz would be outside; she'd probably be able to see him comforting Alex through the slits in the blinds. But he knew Alex needed him more than his ego did. "Shush, love. Come on, Bols. It's all right."

She shook her head. "How is anything ever going to be all right?" She asked him.

He pulled her as close as he could without hurting himself and kissed her hair. "I miss her too."

--------------

It was Sunday morning before Alex and Gene were taken off the machines and put onto a normal ward. The doctors were pleased with their progress, considering the injuries sustained and the length of time they were both in their comas. They did however have to fight Gene to stop him discharging himself, after his wound had been cleaned and changed several times, he didn't really see why he couldn't recuperate at home. It was only Alex keeping him at the hospital.

Her state of mind hadn't improved. She was shaky, pale and disinterested. The doctors had diagnosed it as post-coma depression, though Gene knew exactly what it was. Depression perhaps, but nothing to do with the coma they'd experienced. She was pining for Molly. She thought it was unfair how she'd been cruelly snatched from her daughter just as things were about to be perfect. They'd overcome the final barrier, they'd told Molly and Evan the truth. They were free.

The errant thought made Gene look up suddenly. Annie was sitting by his bed, unnerved by his sudden movement.

"Guv?" She asked curiously.

With Alex in the state she was, Gene didn't know who he could turn to. He certainly couldn't tell Ray and Chris and Shaz the thoughts bouncing through his mind- they'd think he was insane. Gene wasn't someone who needed to express his every thought, or to air his dirty laundry in public, but even he realised that right there he needed someone. He needed a best friend. Yes, he needed Alex. Yes, he needed Sam. The closest substitute at this point in time was sitting next to him.

"Annie, you're the psychologist. Am I mad?"

"Mad, Guv?"

"Yeah, mad. Gaga, nutter, crazy, insane-,"

"Yeah, I know what it means, Guv. I just wondered what brought this on," She told him tentatively.

He sighed, thinking of Alex. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

Annie shook her head. "What's the Golden Rule of policing?" Annie asked him.

Gene had a faint memory from her words, but couldn't place it.

"Come on?" She urged.

"I give up." He told her, without having tried.

She rolled her eyes. "Trust the Gene Genie. 'E'll see you right."

That was right. Summer of 1976, Gene and Sam had successfully put Manchester's biggest scumbag behind bars for a very long time. They'd all gone on to the Railway Arms and Gene had even bought a round himself. Later on, very drunk, Gene had put an arm around Annie and an arm around Sam, before ruffling their hair and saying "Golden rule o' policing, Tyler...Trust the Gene Genie, ladies, 'e'll always see you right!"

"What you tryin' to say?" He asked her finally.

"That whatever you tell us, Guv, we're always going to listen. Whether we think you're crazy or not, we'll believe you. You're the Guv. An' we're loyal."

Gene looked at her intensely, searching her face for the smallest shred of doubt. "What if I said that when the bullet 'it me, I went into a coma, and I woke up in 2008 with Alex an' 'er li'le girl?"

Annie didn't even blink.

*

"You're unbelievable," Gene told her admirably. "You 'aven't even called for the psych unit yet."

Annie frowned in thought. "So, you know Molly, an' this Evan bloke, an' me an' Chris an' Shaz an' Ray were all there?"

Gene nodded.

Annie laughed. "D'you know what the most unbelievable part is?" She asked.

"The fact you ended up in the loony bin, not me?" He asked.

She laughed again. "No, but I do want to know why your subconscious came up with that. No, the most unbelievable part…Ray was married?!"

Gene couldn't help but chuckle softly.

"Can I meet Alex?" Annie asked. "This whole thing…poor girl must be takin' it so 'ard."

Gene nodded. "I'm…I'm worried, Annie. The doctors are putting it down to coma stuff, but…I'm genuinely worried what she's goin' to do."

"Well, if you wan'ed to go see 'er, I'm sure the doctors wouldn' mind…she's only a couple o' wards away…" Annie told him.

He nodded. "Yeah, sounds good. Come on." He pulled himself out of bed, his bare feet landing in his slippers. Annie passed him the towelling dressing gown that hung by his bed to cover his pale blue pyjamas (he'd refused to wear the hospital gown any longer).

They made their way out of Gene's room at a steady pace, he couldn't go for long without needing a break, so decided to pace it. But when they got to Alex's room, the covers were pulled back and there was a note on the side.

"Guv?" Annie asked warily.

Gene sat on her bed and picked up the note.

"If you can't feel, it's only an illusion of life."

Nelson.

Love you,

Always x.

"Shit." Gene growled, a feeling of dread squirming in the pit of his stomach.

"What is it?" Annie asked, moving over to him.

He screwed the letter up and moved past her. "She's gone to the roof." He gritted his teeth and took off, little caring to slow down for his health.

------

They were at the stairwell in a matter of minutes. Gene ran up it, but when Annie tried to follow he held out a hand and shook his head. "I need to do this," he told her, leaving her to wait in suspense.

He ran up the stairs, only realising the stitch he'd created as he paused for breath- breath that was taken cruelly from him when he realised exactly what was going on. Alex sat in the middle of the roof in her pyjamas and her own dressing gown, feet bar, arms wrapped around her knees and sitting peacefully. She didn't appear to have noticed him, as she stayed where she sat, looking out over the busy landscape. The sky was clear and the sun was out. The type of day she'd have called a "nice" day, had she cared.

"Bols." Gene spoke striding closer to her, but stopping half way. His voice didn't really give anything away. He was scared of course; the love of his life was sitting on a rooftop having left a suicide note for him. But his voice didn't expose that fear. He sounded almost…calm.

"I thought you'd come." She replied, not turning. "I wanted to see you…before."

Gene shivered, though it was nothing to do with the cool breeze. "Before what?" He called to her. "Before you turned into jam on the ground below?"

"Always so eloquent with words." She mused. "What a construct you are, Gene Hunt."

He wasn't even sure if she was addressing him. She seemed to be more speaking aloud than expecting a response. He moved slightly closer to her.

"Bolly, before what?" He asked. He knew exactly what of course, but he needed to hear her say it. He wondered if she heard her plans aloud she'd realise how crazy they really were.

"Before I left you." She said simply. Her own voice gave away little either.

"Before you die you mean." He spat back. He didn't want to get angry, but it was all he could think of. "This is selfish, Alex."

Alex shook her head, her limp curls bobbing slightly in the breeze. "I'm getting home to my little girl, Gene. That's not selfish. It's what every- what any mother would do."

"So this is for Molly, is it?" He asked. "You're chucking yourself from a tall building for Molly? Leaving me a note, so I can remember that you loved me once?"

"I'll always love you." She murmured back.

Gene was frustrated. He wished she'd turn around and face him, so he could see her plans, see the expression in her face- see her tell him she wanted to die. Because until she could look him in the eyes and say it he didn't want to believe it.

"But it's not enough." He growled, anger rising. "You won't stay for me."

"I asked you once not to make me choose, Gene. I'm asking you again."

He scoffed. "Because everything's a choice, Alex."

She stood up suddenly. Gene froze, watching as she breathed in and out, not moving but swaying gently. She hugged her arms, the cooling wind apparently chilling her slightly.

Then she moved.

"No!" He called, striding to where she had been sitting only a moment ago.

She stopped, not quite at the railings surrounding the hospital roof, before another couple of feet of roof…then the drop.

She turned to face him, her head tilted to one side. "Don't, Gene. Don't make me choose."

"Why?" He asked her, breathing heavily, his brow furrowed. "Why can't I make you choose?! Why can't I be selfish, Alex?!"

Alex shook her head. "Because you're not."

"Aren't I?!"

She shook her head again. "No. You're not selfish enough."

"Who said?" Gene pouted, hating the fact he sounding like a stroppy child.

Alex sighed, and lifted her head, taking Gene in. He was slightly calmed by the fact she was beginning to seem torn. There were tinges of regret in her features as she took deep breathes. Her eyes gave away her exhaustion, but no emotion was exhibited.

"Gene, please, just go back, you don't need to be here-,"

"Don't patronise me, Alex!" He argued. "Don't use the adult voice on me; I'm not some nut job patient that you need to sort out! I'm your fiancé, Alex! Your fiancé!"

Alex shook her head. "You were my fiancé, Gene. But you didn't honestly expect everything to be the same, did you? You didn't think after everything we've been through it would all be fine? Because Ray, Chris and Shaz would notice something was wrong…you do realise that? You don't act like you did back then, you're from a whole different era, with different beliefs, things go back to the way they were! We argue, Gene, we fight, we mean nothing to each other, because that's the way it is now! And if that's all it is, then Molly needs me more."

Gene stood resolutely and gave Alex a hard stare. "You never meant nothin' to me."

Alex's own stubborn expression melted slightly. Her eyebrows loosened as the frustration she was feeling slipped away slightly. She shook her head. "Don't tell me that, please. Please don't tell me that."

Gene laughed at the helplessness of the situation. "You wan' me to make this easy for you?"

"It's never going to be easy, Gene." Alex told him, beginning to visibly shake. "But, erm…like a plaster," She laughed shakily, obviously not believing her words either, "it'll hurt less the quicker it's done…"

She walked closer to the edge, her hands on the cool painted metal railing.

"Alex!" Gene called, trying to catch up with her.

"Stay where you are," Alex told him weakly. "I don't want you to try and do anything heroic."

"Heroic?" He echoed in confusion.

"Trying to save my life. You've done it too many times now."

"Just the once by my memory."

Alex sniffed and shook her head. "You saved my life by saving my Molly. Without her…well, my life wouldn't be worth living."

The wind was knocked out of Gene as she said this. He finally understood how much she missed her daughter. There was nothing that could be said- and Alex knew this. Calmly, she put her leg through the bar of the railing and manoeuvred to the other side. She stood up, and with her hands still on the railing addressed Gene.

"I do love you." She told him. Tears were building behind her eyes, though she didn't want Gene to sense weakness. It would only take a few words to stop her doing what she was planning. "I love you, Gene."

He nodded. "Yeah. You too…Bols." He gritted his teeth, his jaw squaring as he fought with his own emotions. Could he really watch her jump? Would she let him?

She nodded. "You should…you should go inside."

He shook his head. "Only if you will."

She attempted a smile. "Well then…" She took a deep breath.

"Don't go, Alex. Don't jump." He pleaded, holding a hand out to her.

She shook her head and turned. Gene let his hand fall to his side as she let go of the railings, there was nothing more he could do, aside from pulling her back and getting her sectioned. But she was right- he wasn't selfish enough. She took a couple of steps forward, so she was only a foot or so from the edge of the roof.

"Alex?" A soft feminine voice came from across the rooftop. Softer than Gene's voice, and strangely more comforting. "Step away from the edge, Alex."

Alex turned back around to see Annie walking calmly across the rooftop, until she was level with Gene, who continued pleading with his eyes.

Alex laughed. "You age well, you know. Just…just thought you'd like to know." God, she sounded like a nutter. She sounded like she should be locked up…she sounded crazy.

Annie smiled sympathetically as Alex turned back to look out over London.

"If I jump, Annie…if I jump, I'll go back. I'll get back to my little girl. My Molly." She called, her voice only just carrying in the wind.

"So what's Gene going to do? Without you?" Annie asked softly, stepping closer to where Alex stood.

Alex frowned in frustration. "Gene won't exist! It'll all just finish…this is my world, Annie!"

"Alex, don't you see? What you had in 2008, with Gene and Molly…that wasn't real! It can't have been real. I'm sorry."

"But Gene remembers it too! He does-,"

"Alex, there are occurrences when two people going through the same trauma can experience parallel dreams. It's possible-,"

"No! NO!" Alex stopped her, turned round and gritted her teeth. "It was not a dream, Annie! It was real." She turned back to the scene, running her hands through her hair and pulling at handfuls. "IT WAS REAL!" She screamed, moving erratically into a crouching position.

Gene looked away, unable to see Alex in this state. It scared him that Annie had managed to bring out this reaction. He'd tried to keep her calm and hoped that common sense would prevail. She'd realise that this wasn't the option, and run back into his arms. But Annie was undoing his hard work. And he could do nothing to stop her.

"Alex, what you have here…it's real. Or at least, it's real for now."

"I'm going to jump-,"

Annie was thinking back to the only time she could remember being in such a situation…the first day she met Sam. Using the only words that had gotten through to him, she spoke to Alex. "We all feel like jumping sometimes, Alex." She called quickly, hoping against hope that words would be enough. Gene had been so good to her after Sam died; she could only repay the favour now. "Only we don't me an' you…" Annie walked to the railings, almost able to reach out and touch Alex now. "Because we're not cowards. Maybe you're here for a reason? To make a difference!"

Gene stepped quickly across the rooftop, sensing a weakness in Alex's decisive manner. He got closer than Annie. "Give me your hand, Bols."

Alex looked over the edge. Then looked at Gene's rough hands. Back over the edge. She tilted slightly.

"Careful, Bols!" He shouted in fear.

Alex smiled, and looked back at him. She placed her cool hand in his, letting him pull her back out of danger. "Does that mean I'm staying?"

She crouched back under the railing, before folding in his arms as he undid his dressing gown and pulled it around her shivering frame too.

"Stay." He pleaded. "Here. With me."

A/N: Well what a week! Firstly with the formalities- obviously the last part of this scene is based on the first episode of Life on Mars, so I don't own that either obviously!

What a day for Ashes fans! Start date between the 20th- 26th March, most probably the 23rd…BRILLIANT! So darn excited! Fic will definitely be finished by the start of series three.

Finally, I KNOW this chap is fairly angsty, but that's the hardcore angst finished with, with the final few chaps getting a little more light-hearted, though of course, Alex isn't going to forget everything that's happened.

So yeah, please review!