The Memory Casket
Chapter Twenty-Five: Secrets
"He's getting worse, Eir," Frigga said as soon as the three women stood outside the closed door to Thor's room. Make him better! she wanted to shout, nerves raw and smarting. Rationally, though, she knew Eir was doing everything she possibly could at the moment.
"I'm not certain that he's getting worse, physically. It does seem as though Loki's memories are surfacing more readily, and triggering hyperactivity in several areas of brain function. I suspect this is at its worst when his memories and Loki's memories 'mix,' as he put it. But he responds very well to you, Auda. Do you have any ideas of why that is?"
Frigga turned to the young apprentice healer along with Eir. She'd paid little attention to the girl with the braided dark blond hair earlier – though she'd been there almost the whole time, since Thor was first brought in from the Sidrin Sands by his friends – even when she'd somehow pulled Thor out of whatever was wrong with him just now.
"I do, actually," she said. "I never met him before two days ago. And more importantly, I've never met Prince Loki. When he sees you, he has competing memories, competing…emotional responses formed through those memories. When he sees me, and when I speak to him only about myself…"
Eir was nodding. "Loki had no memories of you, so Thor's mind is his own. Yes…that makes sense. And his brain functions returned almost to normal once he was focused on you. That could prove helpful." She looked to Frigga again. "I haven't yet brought another healer into this case, but I was on my way to my office to consider that when Thor began having trouble again. I'll have to take care of that before we go to Alfheim. It's fortuitous then that I was the only healer to ever treat Loki. Let me just think…"
"Really?" Auda asked. "In over a thousand years? Surely that can't be true."
Frigga and Eir both glanced her way. "It is," Eir said simply.
"Tell her," Frigga said impulsively. "She'll need to know. And your other healer, too. But no one else. Tell them where you're certain no one can overhear."
Auda's head swiveled back and forth, but Eir and Frigga both ignored her, Eir fixing Frigga with a steady stare that had betrayed only an instant's surprise. "Are you certain, my queen?"
"Yes. This secret sent Loki over the edge of the bifrost and took him away from us. I won't have it endangering Thor now, too. Anyone who treats Thor must be completely trustworthy, and must know the truth."
"It will be done, Your Majesty," Eir said with a bow, fist to her chest. "We leave in about three hours?"
Frigga nodded absently, though she'd lost track of the time herself. For over a thousand years they'd guarded the secret of Loki's birth, and for some three years more after Loki himself found out. And now with a few words, two people who were strangers to Loki would be informed. She pictured the look on Loki's face when he'd learned, for the second time, that he was Jotun. Just surprise. Not outrage, or disgust, or pain, or anger, or horror. He didn't even really know what a Jotun was, thinking at first that the Ice Casket was simply making his skin match the blue of his tunic. He didn't know he was supposed to fear or hate that blue skin, or the Jotuns that wore it.
"I need to get some things done before we go, including selecting the additional healer," Eir said, bringing Frigga back to the present. "Auda, go back in and stay as long as he needs you. Tell him about your cousin in Nidavellir. That's a good story," she said with a smile. "And I'll come for you before we go and discuss some things with you."
Auda nodded, her curiosity and confusion plain on her young face, and disappeared back into Thor's room.
Frigga watched her with an unexpected fresh wave of sorrow. Loki who was no longer Loki refused to see her, and now, apparently, she could not see Thor, either, not unless she wanted to risk triggering competing memories that sent him into such depths of mind and memory that he was almost unreachable. She took a deep breath and squeezed her hands tightly into fists, just to feel the stretch in her fingers and the pressure of her nails. She would not give up on Thor, and she would not give up on Loki. She would go to Alfheim, she would demand answers and receive them, and she would get her sons back. "I'll see you at the observatory," she said. With Eir's nod, she set off back to the palace.
/
/
"Your Majesty," Volstagg said, approaching the Healing Room's back entrance, the one nearer the palace, with Hogun and Fandral as Frigga emerged from it. Her back immediately straightened, making him realize how much her shoulders had slumped, and she then looked just as regal as ever. There was a tiredness in her eyes, however, that reminded him of the time when Loki was believed dead; if anything it was more pronounced now.
"Volstagg," Frigga said in return, nodding at the others. "Were you hoping to see Thor?"
"We were. We haven't seen him since the day before yesterday, when we brought him back from the Sands."
"How is he?" Fandral asked.
Frigga opened her mouth, then closed it and looked away for a moment before speaking. "There's no simple answer to that question. He is healthy, physically. But…it became clear late yesterday…" She paused, glancing around, then drew the Warriors Three further from the arched double doors into the large open courtyard that separated the two buildings. "You should know this, as Thor's closest friends, but it must remain between us – you may tell Sif, as well, in private. Only his father and I, and Eir and two other healers know it thus far. When Thor shattered the memory casket, Loki's memories that were bound inside it were somehow transmitted to Thor. Thor has both their memories now, and…he's having a difficult time coping. He may not be fit to rule at the moment, should the need arise. His vulnerability, and thus Asgard's, cannot be made public."
"We understand," Volstagg quickly said, pushing past the moment of shock even though he did not truly completely understand, and glancing at his friends; Fandral looked visibly worried, and Hogun's frown was deeper than usual. "Loki's memories…must be particularly trying. We…heard, you know. At the observatory." There was no use ignoring it, pretending it wasn't so.
"You weren't meant to hear that," Frigga said with a frown.
"We didn't mean to intrude on a personal moment," Fandral said.
"You have our word we won't tell anyone else," Hogun added.
Volstagg nodded his agreement. They'd gone out to retrieve Thor, assisting Sif who'd managed to get him partway out of the Sands by herself, and after returning with her and giving their reports on what they'd observed, they'd each virtually fled her presence, none of them able to look her in the eye when she'd told them about seeing Loki leave. The close-knit group of friends did not often keep secrets from each other – they sometimes wished Fandral would keep more things to himself – but what they'd learned about Loki made a mockery of any previous notion of the word "secret."
"Thank you. But Loki isn't bothered by it now. He's forgotten everything, including the Aesir hatred of the Frost Giants and how horrified he was to learn the truth of his birth," the queen said, her eyes distant.
"He found out not long before the incident with the bifrost, didn't he?" Volstagg asked, as gently as he knew how. He'd thought about it a great deal over the last couple of days. The Frost Giants Loki had let into Asgard. How Loki had been the least enthused of all of them about their journey to Jotunheim. How he'd saved Fandral's life there – most likely saved all of their lives by telling a guard of their plans. How he'd stood apart from them in the Healing Room afterward, and seemed so pensive. How not long after that, he'd tried to end their lives.
Frigga was nodding. "Shortly after you got back from Jotunheim. Odin found him abandoned there, not more than a week or two old, the day the peace was sworn after the war. We raised him as our own and kept his origin a secret, and it remained so until that day. It was a mistake, perhaps, putting Gungnir in his hand as Odin slept. I didn't realize how unstable he was. I thought being formally declared king would reassure him that he was still our son. That he would always be our son…"
Volstagg awkwardly shifted on his feet as the queen quickly dabbed at her eyes.
"Can we see him? Thor, I mean," Fandral said softly.
"He's had a difficult morning," she said, her face smoothing again and a smile, if a strained one, forming. "And…he may find it a challenge to interact with you. Loki's memories interfere with his own and cause him to react in ways that Thor normally would not. He has headaches, and sometimes…his mind wanders and he becomes locked in his thoughts. In his and Loki's competing memories, I suppose."
"We should not see him, then?" Volstagg asked, trying to imagine what Thor was experiencing and not particularly succeeding. He wanted to go to his friend as much as he knew Fandral and Hogun did, but didn't want to be the cause of any additional difficulties for him.
"I didn't mean that, no, you may see him. I'm sure he'll welcome your company. I just wanted to prepare you for his condition. But let him rest a while, first. Perhaps this afternoon?"
Each of the Warriors Three voiced their assent. "If you require anything of us, Your Majesty, anything at all...," Volstagg offered.
"We'll do anything we can for Thor," Fandral said.
"And for Loki," Hogun added.
/
/
This time, Heimdall set Odin, Frigga, and Eir down right in front of the clinic on Alfheim just as Pardit was arriving and opening it for the day. Her eyes were hidden under her hand to protect them from the dust whipped up by the bifrost, while her other hand held onto her skirt, which had probably started to fly up when the bridge to this small town on Alfheim was formed.
"You have returned," Pardit said unnecessarily when the extended bridge retracted and the king and queen started forward, Eir following behind them and watching Pardit closely as she lowered the hand from her eye and fidgeted with the material of her dark blue skirt. Her eyes went a little wider, then she dropped to a knee in an Asgardian bow before quickly rising.
"We have further questions. And we expect complete answers to them," the queen said sharply. Her patience was on a razor's edge, Eir knew, but she didn't know these so-called healers well enough yet to know whether the queen's demeanor would encourage or inhibit their cooperation.
"I'm sure your questions are best addressed by Landis, Your Majesties. Perhaps you could-"
"We don't mind waiting," the All-Father said in a voice that left no question that they would be waiting.
Pardit frowned for a second before slipping into an awkward smile. "Of course," she said, finally opening the door. "Come in, please. You may have a seat in the consultation office while you wait, the same room we spoke in before."
"Thank you. We know the way," Odin said, and Eir followed as the king and queen proceeded into the sloping two-story building and down a short wide corridor. Pardit met her eyes briefly before Eir passed.
The consultation office was filled with furniture of blond wood and glass, and decorated in soft colors and peaceful images meant to create a comfortable, soothing environment. Eir was certain that nothing that would follow in this room would be comfortable or soothing.
Some fifteen tense minutes that felt closer to fifteen tense hours later, she faintly detected the sound of the door opening. Another couple of minutes passed – longer than it really should have taken, so Eir suspected either this was a "patient," or else Pardit and Landis were discussing them. It could mean nothing; not everyone was as used to Asgard's king and queen dropping by as Eir was, and it was no secret they were displeased with the situation. Or it could mean something – an attempt to coordinate what the elves would say, to mislead or deceive or obfuscate.
"Welcome back, Your Majesties," a male voice finally said. Eir turned with her king and queen to see him, then rose as they did. Formal greetings were exchanged, a bow from the man, Landis, curt nods from Odin and Frigga. Landis glanced her way but otherwise ignored her. Eir wondered if perhaps he thought her some sort of attending servant. It was true she wore no sign of her profession or status.
"Please, have a seat," he said, coming around the table. He wore a bright yellow tunic tucked into high-waisted brown cloth pants, and an equally bright floor-length blue vest over it all. The Light Elves, generally speaking, were not shy with color. "Prince Thor has not joined you this time?"
Eir glanced at the queen, on her left, who froze halfway to her seat and narrowed her eyes at Landis, before Odin began to speak and she finished seating herself.
"He has not. We expect this visit to take longer than the last, and all three of us cannot be away for so long. We have instead brought with us Asgard's First Healer."
At that Landis's gaze – and Pardit's, having followed Landis in and sat beside him on the other side of the round table – finally settled on her. "You are Eir?" Landis asked, eyebrows raised.
"I am," she answered.
"It is an honor," Pardit said, lowering her head with a slightly jerky nod which Eir returned slowly and smoothly.
"Indeed it is. Rarely do we see such esteemed visitors in our humble clinic."
"What a surprise," Frigga answered with a smile that did not even approach her eyes.
"Well," Landis said, as though something important had just been concluded. "What can we do for you? Pardit tells me you have further questions about your son? I'm not sure what else we can tell you."
"I believe there's much more you can tell us," the All-Father said. "You can start with how Loki's memories wound up in someone else's mind."
At this, Eir watched the two elves like a hawk, as she knew the king and queen were also doing. Pardit, she thought, looked genuinely confused, while Landis's smoothly professional smile fell slowly away.
"Excuse me?" he asked a moment later, the smile struggling back to his lips.
"Did I speak indistinctly, my queen?"
"You did not."
"I'm sorry, it's just that…I don't think…" He trailed off and exchanged a glance with Pardit. "Was another mind healer involved?"
"No," Odin answered. "This person was alone with the memory casket when it broke."
The elves shared another look. "Memory caskets should not break. But if one were to break…the memories would simply dissipate. They would be lost, with not even the slightest hope of recovery. They would not…enter another person's mind," Landis told them.
"Yet they did."
"I…don't really have an explanation for that. It would require…some sort of outside interference. Very sophisticated magic, and a good understanding" – another look – "of the memory extraction process."
Pardit was blinking more rapidly, moistening her lips, swallowing – but remaining silent.
"I require more information than that," the All-Father said, sternly but not harshly. "An Asgardian citizen is suffering because of this incident. And I'm confident that there is much more you can tell us."
"Did this person know Loki? Ah, Prince Loki?"
"Yes," Odin said after a moment's hesitation.
Another glance. Oh, yes, Eir thought, there is much more you can tell us, Landis and Pardit. She looked toward the queen, who was narrowing her eyes at them.
"Then I don't doubt that he or she is suffering. This type of memory transfer, from one person's mind to another's who knows him or her…mind healers haven't attempted it in centuries. Nearly a millennium now, actually."
"Why not?" the queen asked before the king could speak.
Pardit looked down at her lap and Landis turned his steady gaze from Odin to Frigga. "Because each time it was, it led to irreversible madness."
/
So sorry for the long delay! It was compounded this time because, as some of you know, I'm preparing for a big move, and it's cut into my writing time. Thank you for your patience!
In the next chapter, Odin, Frigga, and Eir gain more insight into Thor's condition, and Frigga asks herself a disturbing question.