Me: GUYS, I'M FINALLY BACK FROM THE DEAD. Sorry I haven't been updating, my computer got sat on (I would share the story but it's long, weird, and confusing), and we took six million years to fix it. I've missed you guys! All of you! Our school is getting out in a few weeks, so more updates! UPDATES FOR ALL- *Gets pulled off her desk by Paul*
Paul: *Still smells* I have been smelly for months. When. Will. This. Wear. Off.
Me: I don't know but your getting kicked out when I can't take the smell any longer. *Pinches nose*
Dawn: So are we going to finish up the dares?
Me: OF COURSE I AM. I'm not THAT unreliable...
Atlantic: *Stares at her*
Serpent: *Elbow him* Dude, don't stare at my wife.
Me: WIFE. *Turns to Paul and Dawn and chuckles* Idiots can dream...
Atlantic: *Leans into Serpent and whisper* I don't think she remembers that she's wearing that dress...
Me: *Dark aura* I can hear every word that your saying. *Tugs on dress* And yes, I freakin' remember.
Serpent: *Gets on a knee* And you look beautiful in said dress~!
Me: *Deadpan* Too bad you look like a dog with a perm.
Paul: Shots have been fired.
Me: *Pulls out gun* Not yet, but very soon they will be.
Dawn: WHERE DID YOU GET A GUN?
Me: *Snorts* It won't kill anyone. It's just a stun gun, so *Imitates Dawn* No need to worry~!
Dawn: *Pouts* I don't sound like that...
Paul-give Eggie a hug
Paul: We're already starting the dares?
Me: *Sits down on her chair and crosses leg* We have to start them sometime. Now, where's out cute little ball of hate?
Eggie: *Pokes up behind Paul* (Hug? I will not hug a simple peasant.)
Paul: Who the *Eevee* died and made you king?
Eggie: (No on yet, but your on the list)
Atlantic: I can't decide if Eggie's cute or terrifying...
Eggie: *Perches on Clan's stack on Warrior and Manga books* (I AM BOTH. NO ONE CAN TOP THE CONTRADICTIONS OF EGGIE! EGGIE THE ROYAL-)
Paul: *Hugs Eggie*
Eggie: *Bashes Paul over the head with a Aqua Tail*
Here is Atlantic's team's move set Sly[greninja]moves:water shriken,dark pulse,hydro pump,and extraordinary item:mystic water. Fang[gyrodos]moves:aqua tail,crunch,earthquake,and ice fang item:life orb. Aqua[vaporeon]moves:acid armor,ice beam,hydro pump,and shadow ball. Blast[blastoise]moves:iron defense,water pulse,blizzard,and hydro cannon item:blastoiseite
Serpent: *Takes the pokeballs attached to the note* Finally! I'm not just a guest with no pokemon anymore...
Me: *Waves hand at him* Yada-yada! Time to get back to answering Truths and Dares because I forgot how FUN this is! Next review is by RomiJoltik!
Hey guys, I'm in da house!
NO CLAN I WAS GOING TO MAKE YOU WEAR A DRESS! WHY U LEAVE US?
Me: *Wrinkles nose* Your making me glad I left...
Dares:
Clan- You have to do something... mildly embarassing... to make up for your absence.
Me: *Blushes* N-no!
Static: (DON'T BE MODEST CLAN. So, it was around a week ago! Her school went on a trip to New York to tour around Spanish Harlem to reward the 8th grade for 3 years of taking Spanish! The grade was split into three buses, but no one was on her bus other than...)
Me: STATIC DON'T YOU EVEN-
Static: (HER CRUSH! AHAHA! They sat and talked and they did basically everything together! They even went into a photo booth! And they went shopping for him in Forever 21, and you should have seen her face everytime he tried on a snazzy vest or a fedora asking for her opinion!)
Me: *Lies on the ground blushing furiously* Stoooooooop... It's not my fault he looks hot in a vest...
Serpent: *Is crushed*
Static: (Do I need to continue? Not only that but there was this formal dinner, so she had to wear a dress! She only had one; a red one; and it turns out it's his favorite color because he said, "I love your dress! It's my favorite color y'know!".)
Me: YOU ARE THIS CLSOE TO BEING LOCKED OUT FOR THE NIGHT.
Paul- Do the condom challenge (see Shane Dawson's "DARE THE DAWSON". There's two, so watch both)
Paul: Wha...?
Me: I haven't watched someone do the challenge so let's watch it together Polly Pocket!
*~~Two Videos later~~*
Me: *IS SCREAMING*
Paul: *Staring in complete disgust*
Dawn: *IS SCREAMING LOUDER THAN CLAN*
Serpent: That's so stupid.
Atlantic: *Is holding a hand over his mouth in amazement and disgust*
Static: *Eye is twitching* (... And Paul has to do that?! Who even has a condom lying aroun-)
Serpent: *Pulls out one*
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Everyone: WHAT.
Serpent: *Blushes slightly* Well, I need to be prepared for when Clan-
Me: *Shoves Serpent into his room after taking the condom. Locks it with several overly complicated locks* NOPE.
Paul: *Snatches Condom* let's get this over with...
Dawn: *Slight tears in her eyes* Paul, you might choke and die...
Paul: Yea, put it on my gravestone. "He did it for the vine."
Atlantic: No one's making a vin-
Eggie: *Is holding a camera*
Atlantic: Nevermind. Just do it.
Paul: *Rips open a package and puts part of the condom up his left nostril*
Me: Paul... You can just take the torture...
Paul: Too late to go back now... *Snorts up about half of it, and digs around in his mouth to find it*
Dawn: *Squeaks* NO NO NO NONONONONO GET IT OUT GET IT OUT!
Paul: *Mummbles* What do you think I'm trying to do? *Gets a hold of it*
Me: OH GAWD HERE'S THE GROSS PART.
Paul: *Slowly drags it out, left eye twitches constantly*
Atlantic: *Covers mouth again*
Dawn: *IS SCREAMING AGAIN*
Me: NONO JUST YANK IT OUT PLEASE!
Paul: *Chokes the rest of the condom out* THERE. *Turns to Eggie* I did it for the vine.
Me: FOR THE VINE OR NOT; YOU ALMOST JUST *EEVEE*ING KILLED YOURSELF.
Paul + Eggie: I/He did it for the vine.
Me: *Groans into hands*
Paul- what color are your boxers?
Paul: ...
Me: What, this one's an easy one.
Paul: ...
Dawn: ... Wait... DONT TELL ME.
Atlantic + Me: What?
Paul: *BLushes* I'm wearing... the boxers Dawn got because they match my hair.
Me: *Faints with happiness and Atlantic has to catch her*
Serpent: *Breaks the door* MY DEAR CLAN! *Rushes to her side* I have to preform mouth-to-mou-
Me: *Kicks him in the jaw*
Serpent/Atlantic- why are you so opposites?
Serpent: Because I decided when I was younger; I would be the awesome twin.
Atlantic: Really? Because I decided that I'd be the one to make sure Serpent didn't get himself killed.
Me: Your not doing a good job.
Atlantic: It's a hobby, not a full-time job.
Eggie- where in the name of hell are you?
Eggie: (In my custom room plotting the destruction of Paul)
Paul: What did I ever do to you?
Eggie: (Exist.) *Nibbles on a piece of pie*
Sylvia- BIOTCH CAN U SPRAY ME NOW? YOU SPRAYED MY DOG THE OTHER NIGHT YOU SORRY EXCUSE FOR A MUTHA F***ING SKUNK.
Sylvia: *Comes out of room* Well ESCUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS. Your dog tried to pee on me, so I did what I had to in *Eevee*ing self defense. And for your information, I am a fantabulous skunk. *Sticks nose in the air*
Serpent: ... That's one sassy skunk.
Dawn- I came up with a dare, you should pants Paul!
Dawn: *Faces goes red* NO THIS IS TOO FAR.
Me: IT'S NOT FAR ENOUGH! PANTS THAT MOTHER*EEVEE*ER.
Dawn: ... *Walks over to Paul*
Paul: *Grabs the belt of his pants* ... No.
Dawn: It's a dare! I have to!
Paul: *Blushes* I said NO and that means NO.
Dawn: *Lunges and pulls down his pants to show purple Delcatty underwear*
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Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU REALLY ARE WEARING THE UNDERPANTS
Paul: *Growls* Shut up... *Blush gets deeper*
Me: OMG HE LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN HE'S BLUSHING~! HAHAHAHA!
Dawn: ... I knew those boxes would match.
Paul: STOP LOOKING.
So... a truth for all-
Did you notice how hard I tried not to swear?
Everyone: No?
Did you also notice I have anger issues?
Me: Yes.
Paul: Yes.
Sylvia: Yes.
Atlantic: Yes.
Static: (Yes.)
Serpent: Yes.
Dawn: Yes.
Pokémon: (Yes.)
Audience I didn't know I had: Yes.
Looky guys, I got BRACES AND DEY HURT TO HIGH HELL... FUCKIT FUCKIT FUCKIT FUCKIT...
Me: HAH, in your face 'cause I just got mine off! I remember getting them tightened. And no gum. *shivers*
Dawn: What's wrong with no gum?
Static: (Nothing unless your Clan who has a really bad gum addiction.)
Me: I NEED TO CHEW SOMETHING OKAY?
Atlantic: Gross, you chew things when you don't have gum?
Me: *Snorts* No, but I get pretty cranky. That's why I hate Science class; that teacher can sniff out gum faster than a blood hound.
Oops, I broke my no swearing streak... and it was going so well... SON OF A BITCH MY TEETH HURT! Gah.. you got any tips anyone
Me: Cursing at people helps. Just curse at anything that annoys you other than teachers. #1 pain killer.
Static: (Anything that won't get them hated by half their school?)
Me: Oh yea. Well, I just ate a but load of yogurt, oatmeal, and even some breakfast bars. Just keep it in your mouth until they get really soft and them eat them. Also, if the poking bothers you, you should go get some wax and place it over the metal that's poking you. Soft fruit works too.
Paul: *Sarcastic* Wanna write a book?
Me: What do you think I'm doing now?
Everyone: *Looks slowly at the screen*
Static: ... I think you broke the fourth wall again.
Me: What do you mean?
Dawn: She said you broke the fourth-
Me: *Covers her mouth* Shhhhhhhhh. No more words.
Atlantic: But-
Me: *Covers his mouth with other hand* SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Baiii... OW FUCKIT AGAIN!
Me: BAAAAAIIIII Hope you get used to it. (Also how long do you have them on? I had mine on for 3 years). Now, I'm going to cut it off here because I have a speeeeeeeeecial chapter that's going to come out in FOUR DAYS!
Paul: Four days?
Me: DID I *EEVEE*IN' STUTTER? I SAID FOUR DAYS! See you all then~! *Bows and curtains begin to close*
Dawn: Where did these come from?!
Atlantic: HOW DOES THIS PLACE EVEN WORK?
Me: Eh, I don't really know myself.
*Curtain closes*
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Eggie: *Pops out of the curtain* (DOMINATION!)