Act III Scene 1
Early hours of the morning, November 1st. Patrick and Kevin are on the block of Patrick's old apartment, walking towards it. Everyone around them is in Halloween costume. Patrick and Kevin are not.
(Patrick stops and takes a deep breath. Kevin turns to look at him)
Kevin: Babe we don't have to go if you don't want to.
Patrick: No it's fine, it's fine. I just...fucking, hate, Halloween.
Kevin: I know you do. Maybe we should have just joined them on the bar crawl and not sat at home brooding...
Patrick: After what was, without a doubt, the worst fucking night of my life, Halloween is officially dead to me. I am never celebrating it again.
(Kevin steps closer to Patrick and rubs his hands over Patrick's arms)
Kevin: I know you see it like that, and I understand, I really do, but I've got to say, looking back, it was probably one of the best fucking nights of MY life.
(Patrick gasps)
Patrick: You like to see me publicly imploding and humiliated?
(Kevin smiles and kisses Patrick)
Kevin: No. I don't. But that WAS the night you basically asked me to come back to you, right? If it hadn't been for that, if you hadn't opened that door again, we might not be here today, together, so...I can't help but have SOME fond memories.
Patrick: Yeah, it was great fun watching you walk away for me too.
Kevin: (soberly) What's the matter? You've been jittery all day. Has something happened?
(Patrick sighs)
Patrick: No, there really isn't anything. I mean I hate this day, but...I don't know. I just feel like things have been too...perfect. Like some thing is going to happen and I need to be...prepared. I can't explain it. Things can't be this good for this long without some...fucking...price. Right?
Kevin: Patrick. Look at me. Please don't look for trouble when there isn't any. You're right. Things won't always be perfect all the time, but when they are, can't we just enjoy it? Let's not deliberately make ourselves miserable.
(Patrick nods his head slowly and smiles weakly)
Patrick: Just keep me away form the tequila and don't let me smoke any pot tonight. With my mood I'll just be even more paranoid.
Kevin: Ok. But it's just going to be our friends there. Even if you get shitfaced, they've all seen it and survived to tell the tale, so just relax. Have a good time.
Patrick: I just know Agustin is going to make some bitchy comment about last year.
Kevin: Well then you can remind him, again, of all the times you picked his drugged-up arse off the floor and cleaned up after his messes. It'll be alright. Ready?
Patrick: Yes. Ready.
(They turn together and walk the 100 feet to the apartment, where Agustin, Eddie, Dom and his boyfriend Hani are sitting in the small garden, in costume, drinking beers)
Patrick: Hi guys
Dom: Hey! What the fuck? Where have you been? And no costume?
Patrick: (grimacing) Sorry. We...
Kevin: (interrupting) We ARE in costume. We're here as two English men who are too cool to act like American wankers who love to dress up in silly clothes once a year. I think we look pretty convincing.
(Patrick smiles at Kevin)
Agustin: Well, better late than never. Join us. You know where the beers are.
Eddie: It's all right. I need to take a piss so I'll get the drinks. Sit. Anyone else need refills? Hani? You've been nursing that beer for the past hour.
Hani: Thanks but I'm on call in about an hour, so I've reached my limit.
Agustin: God that sucks.
Hani: Yeah.
(Dom laughs)
Dom: Don't let him fool you. He volunteered to be on call. He's with Kevin on this one.
Agustin: Ahhhh, hence the lack of the couples costume.
Hani: Yeah, not really my style.
Dom: Apparently he's worn this same Captain Kirk get-up since college.
Patrick: Wow, really? I thought New York went crazy at Halloween? You never went to the parade?
Hani: I went once. To watch.
Dom: Yeah, he's more of a low-key gay. Barely qualifies for his membership card.
(Hani smiles at Dom)
Agustin: So you like San Francisco? Think you might stay once this rotation is over?
Hani: I like it, yes. Parts of it are particularly appealing. It's not as if New York was home anyway, so...I'm thinking I might stay a while longer.
(Dom drinks his beer, smiling. Eddie returns with beers and hands them round.)
Eddie: What did I miss?
(Everyone shrugs and continues quietly drinking)
Eddie: I love you guys, but you are definitely the least fun group of gays to hang out with at Halloween. I think I've been to livelier wakes.
Agustin: Maybe we've outgrown the whole thing.
Eddie: Speak for yourself honey. While there's breath in this body I will NEVER be too old for some freaky-ass fun.
Dom: Look at us. Jobs, responsibilities, relationships. Jesus. What happened to the gay American dream? Was it all a lie?
Patrick: Well, I guess this is what we fought for, right? The right to be...ordinary?
Agustin: When did we ever fight for anything, Paddy? Living gay in San Francisco has hardly been a daily battle.
Eddie: Jesus. Ok. Let's make a pact, as a group, to NEVER celebrate Halloween together again. Bad things happen when the three of you are together on this night. Some of it has been pretty spectacular to watch, but tonight, this is about the most depressing evening I've had in years, and as a man living with HIV, you know what I'm saying is carrying some fucking weight.
Patrick: You're right. Sorry Eddie. It's probably my fault. I've been like some vortex of doom all day, sucking everyone in to my bad mood.
Eddie: Believe me, it was no walk in the park before you arrived. The whole evening's been a bust. And today was supposed to be a HAPPY day. A day of celebration.
(Agustin and Dom exchange quick glances and Agustin raises his eyebrows. Patrick catches the look.)
Patrick: What's going on? What are you celebrating?
(Agustin takes a deep breath and exhales. He raises his beer in salute)
Agustin: Eddie and I. We're moving in together.
Patrick: Oh my god. That's...awesome. That's fucking fantastic. That IS good news. Why are you so... glum?
Eddie: My point exactly.
Agustin: Listen Paddy, don't get upset OK, but I'm moving in with Eddie. To his place. It's closer to work and it's...well, we just thought it would be better.
Patrick: That's great. I get it. Totally. I mean it will be easy to find a new roommate, right Dom? The rent is pretty fucking low and this is an excellent apartment.
(Dom remains silent, looking at his beer)
Patrick: Dom?
Kevin: Patrick, I think maybe Dom isn't staying either. Am I right?
(Dom nods his head slowly)
Dom: I'm moving back to my old place. You know the chicken window is making good money so I can afford to stop sub-letting, and...I've already found a roommate, a colleague of Doris's so...we're letting this place go.
(Patrick frowns)
Patrick: But that's crazy. This place is...it's fucking awesome. Agustin, we've lived here for nine years!
Agustin: Paddy, you've not been living here for months now.
Patrick: Yeah, but we still hang out all the time. I mean it's...it's...part of our history.
Dom: You couldn't think we'd stay here for ever after you left right?
Patrick: I guess I always thought it would here for us, you know?
Agustin: Paddy...
Patrick: I mean what if it doesn't work? With Eddie, like Frank? Where would you have ended up if I didn't still have this place?
(Eddie raises his eyebrows)
Eddie: Excuse me?
Agustin: I know. It was great for me that you were still here, but...we're not keeping an extra apartment around so we have somewhere to run back to, right? I mean...that's kind of crazy.
Dom: And we'll still be getting together all the time. That's not changing. Just, you'll have to get us fobs to your building so we can hang out on your roof garden.
(Patrick laughs weakly. Kevin takes Patrick's hand and rubs his fingers, playing with Patrick's promise ring)
Patrick: Of course. It's going to be exactly the same. I know. I was just...you know...caught off guard. I'm happy for you guys. Sorry Eddie...I was..
Eddie: Patricking? Yeah. I've seen that a few times. I promise I'll look after your boy for you. And I'll even teach him how to clean and cook for himself.
Dom: I'd pay money to see that.
(Patrick exhales and looks at Kevin, who smiles at him)
Patrick: This really is a night for celebrating. I mean, this news is huge. And the fact the chicken window is going so well, that's fucking great too right? I'll drink to both those things.
(Everybody watches Patrick as he takes long drinks of his beer)
Agustin: Paddy...
Kevin: It's all right Agustin. He's fine. Just give him a minute.
(Patrick rolls his eyes)
Patrick: I'm sorry guys. It wouldn't be halloween without me making some kind of scene though right? But...I am genuinely, really happy for you both. Actually...(Patrick forces a smile)...I'm really happy for all of us. Kevin's right. I'm fine. I don't even need a minute.
Dom: You sure, Paddy? There's not going to be some weird Carrie moment happening, or anything.
Patrick: No. It's all good.
Agustin: Look, it's the end of an era, and I've got to say, I'm a little sad to be leaving this place too. There were some fucking good memories here. But...we're all grown up now. And...I think it's going to be exciting. I think this new era is going to be...epic.
Dom: I'll drink to that
Hani: Is any one going to tell me what exactly happens at halloween with you guys. It sounds like I'm missing some major history here.
(Dom laughs)
Dom: You don't want to know. Well, you probably do, but to spare Paddy some embarrassment, I'll fill you in later. I'll even show you a video.
Patrick: No fucking way! Someone recorded that shit?
Dom: Oh yes my friend. But they were kind enough NOT to post it on youtube at my express request, so I believe I have the only surviving copy.
Agustin: Shiiiiiit. We have GOT to see that. Paddy?
(Patrick laughs)
Patrick: Are you fucking kidding me? I am NEVER watching that, and if you were good friends, you wouldn't either.
Dom: It's actually kind of sweet. You did try to raise some money for the window. Who knew you'd actually end up investing in it?
Agustin: Come on Paddy. It's a whole year later. And things turned out pretty well for you, right?
Kevin: That's what I've been trying to tell him. We owe all our happiness to Tequila and Patrick's nervous breakdown.
(Patrick laughs wryly, shaking his head)
Patrick: What the fuck. Why not. Bring it on.
Eddie: Yay! Hani, you are in for a treat, my friend. The entire history of Patrick, Dom and Agustin encapsulated in 2 minutes of excruciating embarrassment.
Dom: I'll get my laptop.
Agustin: I'll get the tequila.
(Kevin leans over and kisses Patrick tenderly on the mouth. Patrick smiles at Kevin)
Patrick: They're total cunts. (Patrick mimicking Kevin's British accent, talking quietly between them).
Kevin: (nodding approvingly) It's getting better.
Patrick: You've been an excellent teacher. Such a positive influence in my life.
Kevin: Ahhh...and good old British sarcasm. I don't think the night could get any better.
Patrick: You're right there. It's about to get a lot fucking worse...for me.
Kevin: But it's not all about you is it?
Patrick: No. God forbid I should stop my friends from having fun at my expense.
(Kevin kisses him again)
Kevin: I'll make it up to you. Later. At home.
(Patrick sighs)
Patrick: I'm too easy. I should play harder to get.
Kevin: You're perfect. Just sit back and enjoy the show.
Patrick: Are you talking about now, or later, at home?
(Kevin raises one eyebrow and seems to be considering something carefully)
Kevin: Both?
(Kevin and Patrick smile into each other's eyes as Dom and Agustin return with the supplies. Patrick sits with his eyes closed the whole time as the boys rewatch his speech over and over. Kevin keeps his arm around Patrick, squeezing him tight. Later at home, Kevin puts on a very special show for Patrick which Kevin strictly forbids from him recording, however much Patrick pleads.)
End of Act III Scene 1.