I'M FINALLY DONE MY EXAMS! XD
I had a slight writer's-block for a while so I apologise ahead of time if you don't like it or if it sounds awkward.
Chapter 24
This garden was surrounded by willow trees; like a sacred place surrounded by nature's curtain. A long, thin river split the landscape in half, with a small, arched, wooden bridge connecting the two separate lands. The grass was rich and green and the air was warm and filled with the smell of spring. The river was clear as it sparkled under the sun.
Kagome took a few steps forward from the shadows and into the sun. The place was beautiful. The feeling of peacefulness settled deep into her bones and made her quiver in relaxation. Suddenly, the wind picked up and the sound of leaves rustling was almost deafening. A song was being carried with it…
"When I know that I've lost my hope…and memories are running through…my heart and my soul…Now I know it's time for me to leave…Bleeding out…please teach me how to smile…Please help me…to bring me…above all I used to be. I'm reaching…Help me spread my wings…Can't keep…running…Can you please catch me when I'm falling…Help me spread my wings…Help me spread my wings…"
This song…recognising her own voice, Kagome stared to wonder where this song came from when yet another voice echoed through the air.
"Can't you understand that both my mother and I want you to live without fear? Without resistance? You've suffered so much, more than I can ever imagine or even dream of under the hand of your so-called master, but we're not like that, Kagome…I'm not like that."
Another voice…Inuyasha's voice…is this another memory?
"It's a lot for us to ask if we ask you to forget about the past…but there's always the future to make. You're future is your own and only you can make it yours."
The landscape disappeared with a bright flash of white, forcing Kagome to cover her eyes under the shade of her arm. The same scene reappeared the same way however this time, when Kagome removed her arm to see, she wasn't alone. Someone was standing beside the stream in front of her a few meters away with their back towards her.
Long, silver hair extended past their waist and adorable, white puppy ears stood at the top of their head. Dressed in a red kimono, Kagome could see flared sleeves drifting in the wind and ballooning pant legs ending at the ankles of bare feet.
"I just want you to be happy, Kagome. I want to make you happy."
This voice…
"Inu…yasha…" Kagome whispered. She stepped forwards and started to extend an arm towards him.
Was this joy filling her heart and making it burst? Or was it sadness and sorrow making it squeeze so painfully? Whatever it was, Kagome couldn't help but get the sudden overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry.
"Inu…yasha!" Kagome whispered a little more loudly. She tried to call out to him but it felt like she wasn't allowed to go above a whisper; like something was containing her voice.
When Inuyasha's back and the surrounding began to press forward and gradually get smaller, Kagome panicked and tried to catch up to the fading figure.
"Inuyasha! Inuyasha!" Kagome started to run but it was like running on a treadmill. Inuyasha's back became smaller and smaller as it advanced into the distance and the area was starting to fade off again into white.
'Don't escape me again,' Kagome thought. 'Don't disappear from my life again!' Her tears fell freely from her eyes.
"Inuyasha!" Kagome cried out in an echo, just as the dream faded off in white.
~:~:~:~
Kagome sat straight up, waking up in sweat and her body shaking in sobs. Frantically taking in her surroundings, she realised she was still with Sesshomaru and Rin, both sound asleep. The moon and the stars tonight were bright enough to light up the clearing they were in, bathing everyone moonlight. Kagome took some comfort in watching Rin's sleeping face, so relaxed and innocent.
Letting out a shaking sigh and trying desperately to calm down, Kagome was relieved that it was only a dream. However, it still left her body quivering with fear and sadness. Unable to shake it off, she crawled to the river nearby to splash her face, letting the cold water snap her out of her nightmare blues. Then, she sat there in the silence, taking in the open air.
She shivered when a gust of cold wind blew towards her. The amount of sweat she previously omitted was making her now open pores exposed to the cold evening air. Then she remembered how she had lent her shirt for Rin's towel. This left her with nothing but a tank top on. Shivering some more and feeling some goose-bumps rise, Kagome made up her mind to find her way back to the mansion, which still had some lights on for her return (in courtesy of Izayoi). Getting up, she traced back the way she and Sesshomaru had originally took, using the brightness of the night to light her way.
With no sounds but crickets and her own footsteps, Kagome thought back to her dream. That breath-taking garden was apparently part of her memories but it was Inuyasha's voice echoing in the area that made her heart speed up. Something about that place, with Inuyasha, caused Kagome into a raging brainstorm. It gave her a feeling of recognition but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't remember where it was.
'Maybe I'll ask him when I get back,' thought Kagome. 'But then again…that would probably just make him sad again. He'll probably try to push me away after that too.'
Kagome sighed while avoiding some large tree roots. 'I don't understand how he could give up that easily! I mean, I'm the one who doesn't have any of my memories. And if he's really the one that loves me then shouldn't he be the one trying to persuade me into falling in love with him again? All he's doing now is acting all depressed and pushing me further and further away…ugh, I don't even know why I bother!'
Kagome's pace had quickened due to her angry and frustrated rant, so when she finally looked up…
She realised that she was lost.
She hadn't noticed how much wilder the trees were in that region and how their branches covered most of the originally amount of moonlight Kagome had originally been following. Trying to go back the direction she came in, she seemed to just drive herself deeper and deeper into the forest.
Panic rose in her heart and her breathing quickened. Every sound was foreign and Kagome got shivers down her spine from the creepiest feelings. It became eerily silent and even her own footsteps made her heart jump out her mouth. She started to walk faster. Then she broke into a run. The cold sweat made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. She didn't know how long she ran or even where she was running but she continued to run nonetheless. Tears started to blur her already impaired vision and she felt her skin being scratched and torn from branches and thorns nearby. Her legs became heavy and her pace became uneven as she sobbed in desperation and hopelessness. Eventually she tripped, landing hard on the ground. Kagome felt the air being knocked out of her lungs. Unable to stand up, she let herself sob miserably in the patch of moonlight she happened to land upon.
Kagome felt so scared, so alone and so depressed at her current situation. Other than being lost in the middle of the night in an unknown forest, Kagome hated how the mere thought of Inuyasha was making her heart tense up in pain so much. How could she love someone like him who insisted he was more miserable than she was?
Not caring that her tears caused the dirt underneath her to stick to her face, Kagome continued to cry. At least no one would hear her there, she thought.
But how to describe her mixed feelings? Beyond terrified of being alone in the darkness, panicked at her lost location, frustrated at her stubbornly missing memories and extremely agitated at Inuyasha's outrageous behaviour. That pretty much sums it all up but it was just adding to the heaviness on Kagome's shoulders.
"Somebody…please…find me…save me…" Kagome whispered in a shaking voice, weak from sobbing.
But deep inside, she felt her heart silently pleading that that certain 'somebody' would be that arrogant boy with silver hair and golden eyes.
'You saved me once…please…Inuyasha, save me again,' she thought before crying herself to sleep.
~:~:~:~
When Kagome opened her eyes again, she found herself lying on something soft and was no longer staring up into the open sky. Instead, she found herself staring at the point of a four-post bed's roof from the inside.
Gasping, Kagome sat bolt upright, regretting it immediately the moment her vision swirled.
"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…" Kagome groaned, clutching her forehead.
She took the time to look around and surprisingly found herself in her own bedroom back at the house. Looking at the clock on the wall, she realised that it was late morning, around half-past ten. The curtains to her balcony were closed so Kagome couldn't make out the outside weather. Although, strips of sunlight did surround the edges of the thick curtains as some kind of clue.
Kagome felt the pain in her temples subsiding into a small throb and her vision no longer swirling as heavily. At least this way, Kagome could actually think now.
'How did I end up back here? I swear I fell asleep outside last night…' Kagome wondered, remembering her discovery with Sesshomaru the night before.
'Speaking of Sesshomaru…' Kagome remembered her promise to the former demon lord about her making him full demon again.
At first, her excitement sparked because it was thanks to Sesshomaru's change of heart that made her decide to help him, but on the other hand, she had no clue how to fulfill her promise.
'Gahhh, Kagome you idiot! Why did you have to make a promise you know you can't keep?' The girl slapped her palm to her forehead. She winced when the nerves in her head pinched in protest, making the girl wince.
But that's when Kagome realised that she was no longer dirty or dressed in tattered wear. Clean and fresh, the girl could smell a slight perfumed smell coming from her bathed skin and hair. She was dressed in a pyjama dress made of soft cotton, decorated with lace and small, delicate bows. All her cuts and scrapes were bandaged with gauze and Kagome could see just how much her little adventure last night cost her.
Her hands and knees, to start, were comfortably wrapped in bandage. The thickness of the material around her palms made Kagome feel as if she was wearing gloves of some sort and the way the creamy-white bandage was wrapped around her knees gave Kagome the appearance of knee-guards. Most of the pink cuts over her legs and arms were left exposed but seemed to have been taken care of nonetheless. They were still oily from the ointment they must have been given but they were already a baby pink from healing. Kagome laughed at herself for winding up in the same place with more or less the same condition.
'Then again…this is nothing compared to what I had to suffer through for 200 years,' Kagome thought.
Tilting her head back in a sigh, she finally decided to get up from her bed, knowing that her curiosity of her transportation wouldn't get satisfied no matter how long she stayed there. But as Kagome stood up, her vision swirled violently and her eyes blacked out for a few seconds as the blood in her head finally evened out throughout her body. Unable to find her footing, the back of Kagome's knees knocked clumsily against the edge of the bed, making her collapse into its soft folds once more.
She groaned in frustration and lay there, unmoving, until she could see again. Taking in several breaths of preparation, Kagome tried again. Slightly swaying, Kagome steadied herself with one of her bed's wooden posts. Finally able to get dressed, she opened her door, walked down the hallway and descended the stairs, leaning against the cool walls for support.
She found her way to the kitchen where she was immediately engulfed by Izayoi's embrace. Kagome's body tensed at the sudden contact.
"Thank goodness you're okay, Kagome!" she exclaimed. Kagome relaxed her tense body and returned the hug, slightly confused. She could see Miroku and Sango over Izayoi's shoulder also giving her relieved looks.
"Um…yeah? Sorry I made you worry?" Kagome said with a questioning tone. Izayoi took a step back so Kagome could see her worried expression.
Izayoi rambled on, continuing to use her worried and flustered tone. "I woke up today to find the lights I left on for you last night still on. At first I was confused but when I searched all over the house to try and find you, you weren't anywhere to be found. That's when I started to worry. And then when I checked your bedroom to find it empty I really started to panic and I…I…oh, Kagome, do you have any idea how much you made us worry?"
Kagome stared at Izayoi, not knowing what to say. Had her absence for one night bothered them that much?
Kagome said her apology. "I'm…I'm sorry. I tried to find my way back after…" She hesitated. She couldn't tell them about Sesshomaru could she? Kagome gave her head a slight shake, deciding to avoid the subject. She looked back up at Izayoi with an apologetic look. "I didn't think that you would worry so much. If I had known-"
"Of course we worry about you, Kagome! How could you think otherwise?" Izayoi exclaimed, like what she just said was the most ridiculous thing she's ever heard of.
But Kagome was taking the reply seriously. She had worried about it before. "I would've thought that…since Naraku was defeated and all that maybe you didn't need me anymore."
Izayoi's eyes widened in disbelief. "Kagome…we didn't let you stay because you were the Butterfly Priestess. We even gave you choice if you wanted to help or not. I mean, when I found you on our doorstep that first day, neither of us knew who you were and yet, didn't we still take care of you?"
Kagome looked down at her feet, slightly ashamed for assuming otherwise.
"I mean," Izayoi continued, "we truly care for your well-being, Kagome. Sango's as well. No matter who you are, you're part of our family now," Izayoi smiled. "And we never abandon our family."
Kagome glanced Sango's way and to her surprise, found her smiling back. When she looked to Miroku, she even gave her a little nod with his gentle smile. Kagome felt her eyes water.
Sniffing, Kagome wiped her eyes before her joyful tears could fall. She gave out a little laugh. "I guess in the end, I'm still the one with trust issues. I guess I'll just have to learn."
"Well," Izayoi said, "we are all just glad you're safe, aside from the cuts we found on your legs and arms. And how dirty your clothes were! And where your shirt went!" Izayoi's face became concerned again. "Where on earth did you go, Kagome?"
Kagome was frantically trying to find a way to answer but Izayoi didn't seem to be done talking.
"I mean, the state you were in when Inuyasha brought you back was frightening!" Izayoi expressed.
Kagome froze and so did everyone else in the room. Izayoi was about to continue when she realised the newly formed tension the mentioning of her son's name created.
Kagome's voice came out tense and forced. "Inuyasha…was the one who brought me back?" Her voice seemed to shake as she didn't have the strength to bring it above a whisper.
Izayoi seemed sheepish when she replied. "Well he is the only one left in the house with a strong sense of smell. If it weren't for him we probably wouldn't have been able to find you for a long time."
Kagome felt her heart beat wildly in her chest. With every pump, her temples throbbed and with every throb, her heart ached.
So Inuyasha was the one who saved her after all. Even after their fight…
Izayoi sighed. "I know you and Inuyasha don't exactly have the best…relationship right now, but try to understand Kagome, he still loves you…deeply."
Kagome bit her bottom lip and tried to hide her blushing cheeks.
Izayoi giggled. "Knowing him, he's just too stubborn to admit it. He was the first person I woke up this morning to try and find you and oh my, you should've seen the look he had on his face when I told him you were gone." Kagome listened intently, curiosity taking the better of her.
Izayoi gave a little happy sigh and looked up into Kagome's eyes with a look of sincerity. "You should've seen how…frightened he looked. I've never seen him look that scared before of all his life. Of course he acted indifferent to it all but I knew that just underneath the surface that he was panicking; aching to get out of bed and jump out the window. In fact, that's probably what he did because after waking Miroku and Sango up, by the time they got dressed, Inuyasha was already returning with you in his arms."
Kagome stood there, flabbergasted.
"I know he must have been quite cold towards you, even frightfully angry maybe, but it's all just an act to make himself feel better. He's quite selfish at times and usually arrogant but underneath that childish exterior…there's the heart of gold he would sacrifice for you any day," Izayoi explained.
The whole kitchen stayed silent for a while, all watching Kagome's reaction as she looked to the ground in thought. They were all waiting for what she was going to do next.
"Lady Izayoi…where is Inuyasha now?" she asked, still looking at the floor.
The lady's confused response made Kagome look back up at her. "Wasn't he with you when you woke up?"
Kagome shook her head, causing Izayoi to frown. "When he brought you back and after I tended to you, he refused to leave your side."
"When did he bring me back?"
"Around half-past eight if I remember correctly."
'Two hours since then,' Kagome calculated. 'I wonder where he is.'
Izayoi's sigh interrupted Kagome's train of thought. "It's not healthy for him to keep disappearing like this. He didn't even eat breakfast."
"I…I think I know where his is…" Kagome said. "Could you…excuse me, please?"
Izayoi gave her a worried look before finally nodding her head.
Kagome turned and exited out the front door.
Sango approached Izayoi. "My Lady, we still don't know where Kagome was yesterday night!" she protested.
The woman sighed and smiled at the door. "For now, the bonds between Kagome and my son need to be reconnected. That's the most important thing at the moment. When Kagome wants to tell us what happened, she'll tell us. Her mind is probably filled with unsolved problems so she's having a hard time dealing with all of them."
"But-"
"We must respect Kagome's choices, Sango," the lady interrupted, firm but gentle. Sango sighed and agreed.
Sango lifted a hand to touch her forever wounded face, her heart beating in an envious pace.
She felt left out now, with Kagome's attention on remembering Inuyasha. To be honest, she felt completely jealous that her sister-figure wasn't even going to her for comfort. Now, Kagome was sealing everything inside, refusing to admit anything.
Sango wished that Inuyasha and Kagome's problems would be solved soon, so that she can finally have her time to strengthen her own ties with Kagome.
~:~:~:~
'Where am I going? I don't know where Inuyasha is,' Kagome thought. 'Why did I say that?' But her body and heart said otherwise.
Almost like it was natural, Kagome's legs moved skilfully away from the house, down the large, but not steep, hill on its side and towards a forest some distance away from the house.
A willow forest.
Something panged deeply inside Kagome when her eyes laid sight on the swaying branches. Many of them crowded the area, making it impossible to see past their leafy curtains. In Kagome's mind, she was anxious. She thought she was going to get lost again. But her heart just kept resonating to the feeling of recognition as her body kept moving towards it.
As she got closer, her pace slowed as she pushed away the branches to go deeper into its depths. The bright afternoon sun, now high in the sky, seem to glitter as Kagome walked through the curtains, the branches casting tiny patches of sunlight here and there. When the trees covered the sun, Kagome couldn't see it, but when it was in open territory again, Kagome could see its light. At the pace she was walking, its pattern of beautiful flashing made it seem like glitter dancing in the wind.
As she walked further and further into the forest, she could start to see a clearing up ahead. The sound of rushing water also echoed in her ears. Finally, taking in a deep breath, Kagome pushed past the last layer of the willow's branches to the side.
It was more beautiful than Kagome experienced in her dream. Lush green grass rolling away from her in hills and the clear, sparkling river was crystal to her eyes. A fence of willows surrounded the place from peering eyes and nearby wild-flowers perfumed the air with a sweat smell.
But her attention focused to the figure in red standing on the bridge, his back towards her. The image stirred something fearful in Kagome when she gazed upon his long silver hair. It was the exact same image as the one in her dream and Kagome was terrified to relive it. Despite the fear of rejection coiled in her stomach, she had no hesitation as she walked slowly with a steady speed towards Inuyasha.
"So this is where you ran off to," Kagome said softly. She saw Inuyasha's dog ears twitch just a millisecond before he whipped his head around to look at her. His golden eyes were obviously startled.
Kagome smiled a small smile at him while he stared at her, a thousand emotions running across his face. He couldn't decide which one to pick.
When Inuyasha couldn't form any words, Kagome gave out a small laugh and looked down to the ground. "I heard from Izayoi that you were the one that found me and brought me back. And that you stayed by my side all this time." Kagome looked back into his golden eyes, trying to keep her heart steady. "So why did you leave?"
Inuyasha avoided looking her in the eyes and looked to the side instead, worrying his bottom lip. "I…didn't know how you'd react…and I didn't want to find out either," he mumbled.
"I see…I'm sorry if my…first reaction was too much for you but you know, it's scary to find someone you don't know holding your hand when you wake up," Kagome miserably joked, even though none of them laughed.
"How did you find this place?" Inuyasha asked, as if what Kagome said before meant nothing. His piercing, golden eyes shook Kagome's resolve a little.
"Um well…I had a dream about this place last night and when Izayoi was wondering where you were…I don't know why but I instantly thought of this place and my body just moved on its own," Kagome said.
Kagome saw that small flash of hope Inuyasha expressed before disappear from his face and disappointment replaced it. He looked back down to the ground and gave out a dry laugh. "I see…so it's not because you got your memory back, huh?"
Kagome also looked to the ground. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
The two held the sad silence with ease as neither of them said a word. Engulfed in her own thoughts, Kagome had barely heard what Inuyasha had just said.
"I'm sorry?" Kagome asked while lifting her head to look at Inuyasha. His back was towards her again as he looked into the distance.
"It's a lot for us to ask if we ask you to forget about the past, but there's always the future to make," he repeated. "I said that to you the first time I showed you this place. I guess the saying 'Be careful what you wish for' got to me. I wanted you to forget about Naraku and be free with us…but everything changed when you turned out to be the priestess and your master turned out to be my goddamn uncle." His voice mellowed with pain as he spoke. "I'm so stupid," he chuckled. It was almost like he was talking to himself rather than with Kagome.
"I'm sorry but I can't remember," replied Kagome. She walked a little closer to him, stopping at the start of the bridge whereas Inuyasha stood in its center, slightly elevated.
Inuyasha's ears gave a twitch and his slouching shoulders soon followed, as if he suddenly remembered the situation. He chuckled again. "Right…"
But Kagome continued to speak. "But…I do remember you saying that…in a way." She saw Inuyasha glance over at her with a questioning look in his eyes. Kagome stuttered on. "Well it's not really like I remembered it, but more like I dreamt of it."
Inuyasha turned his waist a little to get a better look at Kagome while she spoke; that curious look in his eyes never leaving.
Kagome dropped her eyes naturally in thought, not really looking at anything. "The dream that I had last night was me in this garden and I don't know why but I could hear your voice echoing around the place, saying things that sound…oddly familiar," she said.
"Like what?" Inuyasha asked his voice somewhat hoarse. It sounded like a silent plea for remembrance was sewed into it.
"Well you said some things like how you and your mother wanted me to live without fear and resistance; how I've suffered so much under my master but that you weren't like that," Kagome said. "You also said something about how my future is my own and only I can make it mine."
"Anything else?" Inuyasha whispered. He sounded like he was forcing his question from his throat.
Kagome thought a little. "You did say how you only wanted me to be happy…that-"
"I want to make you happy," Inuyasha interrupted softly, staring into the water. Kagome closed her mouth and watched for Inuyasha's reaction as he stared at the ground in front of him.
The wind blew around them, making the leaves surrounding them sway in harmony as they brushed against each other. Kagome pushed the hair in front of her face behind her ear in a nervous habit.
Inuyasha finally looked up at Kagome, his golden eyes melting into rich honey as he locked his gaze with hers. Kagome mustered as much strength as she could to not look away. Her heart pounded her ribcage in protest.
"Kagome," Inuyasha whispered making her shiver. "I…I'm sorry," he followed.
Kagome blinked in surprise. She wasn't expecting that. Then again, after that awkward confession of hearing his voice in her dreams, it was hard to come up with any response at all.
Inuyasha continued. "I said that, didn't I? That I want to make you happy? I guess I haven't been doing that lately, have I?"
"I'm sure I was quite happy before…this happened," Kagome suggested. But Inuyasha shook his head.
"That's possible but…I hate how you…I can't believe that…" Inuyasha stuttered in frustration. "I just wish you could've told me sooner."
Kagome snorted. "Well I'm sure even if I told you, your reaction wouldn't be much different than this."
Inuyasha's cheek flamed. "W-Well I could've been more prepared than this!" When Kagome just smiled back, Inuyasha looked away, embarrassed.
"Besides," he said, returning to his sadness. "I yelled at you. If you were still the way you used to be when you were a slave than I definitely wouldn't have…no…I shouldn't yell at you no matter who you are or how you act."
"I understand," Kagome said. "But it's okay, though. You were angry and upset and I so was I. We'll have to argue some time right? Sooner or later. But seriously, you should take into consideration what everyone else is feeling. You worry your own mother in the depressed state you were in."
Inuyasha flinched in guilt. "I'll worry about her later," he mumbled. "But…what about you?"
"Even though I didn't know you, with everyone else telling me about what you meant to me I felt extremely guilty for seeing you this way; like I was the cause of it all," Kagome grumbled. "So that's why I tried to get to know you again, maybe it'll help me remember some things. But…you weren't exactly easy to get along with."
"Keh," Inuyasha huffed, trying without success to compose himself.
Kagome took in a breath. "Inuyasha, I'm going to ask you to be patient with me. I know it's hard on you but it's also hard on me. Can't you see that I'm trying to get along with you again, despite my forgotten memories? You could at least try to help," Kagome said. "Also…I…want to find a way to get my memories back so I'm going to have to ask you to wait a while longer."
Inuyasha looked at her, startled.
"I-I don't really know how I'm going to do it," Kagome stuttered, looking down at her feet, "but since it's causing everyone so much pain and trouble I'm willing to-"
She was cut off by Inuyasha's sudden embrace. His strong arms wrapped around her arms as he brought her into his chest. Kagome felt her heart set off like a fire-cracker.
"You don't have to do that," Inuyasha whispered into her ear. His hot breath played against her sensitive skin, sending goose-bumps down her body like lightning.
"But," Kagome replied back weakly, "it's hurting you…"
Inuyasha's grip around her tightened. Her body heat swam into his just as his melted into hers. The smell of her and the light perfume of her hair intoxicated his sensitive nose as it started to make him feel drowsy. "I already decided to forget about it; that you don't need to remember anything anymore for my sake."
"But-"
"Forget it, Kagome," Inuyasha pressed. His voice was stern but still velvety soft and gentle. Kagome shivered as his husky voice oozed into her ear. "I've been coming here whenever I had the chance to think about things and this is what I've decided," he murmured.
Kagome hesitantly moved her hands to return the hug. She nestled her face into the croon of his shoulder. She felt Inuyasha tense in surprise but he soon relaxed to her touch. She listened to the beat of his heart, pounding just as quickly and as exotically as her own. His chin rested on her head and the two stood there ever so comfortably.
"Kagome?" Inuyasha called out, interrupting the nice silence.
"Hm?" Kagome replied lazily. The mixture of his warmth and scent made her mind so relaxed that it almost sent her to sleep.
One of Inuyasha's hands ran their fingers through her silky hair. "Since you don't have any of your old memories anymore…let's move on and make new ones."
Kagome moved away just enough to look up into his eyes, searching. "Really?" She couldn't believe her ears.
Inuyasha's face flushed as he looked away. He was so cute when he got flustered. "Well, if you want to," he mumbled.
Kagome felt her own cheek rise slightly in temperature as she giggled. "Yup."
Kagome and Inuyasha walked back to the house, hand in hand, resting in comfortable silence. The relief and joy Kagome felt in her heart was so heavenly, she thought she was dreaming. At the same time, it was pounding mercilessly against her chest, being this close to the person most important to her. She could tell from Inuyasha's face that some weight had also been lifted off his back. Colour and life had return to his face and eyes as he walked beside Kagome, his hand in hers.
"Hey Inuyasha?" Kagome said.
"Yeah?"
"I think sacrificing my memories was a good thing after all."
Inuyasha raised an eyebrow. "Why do you think that?"
"Well because a lot of good things came out of it."
"How was arguing and sending me into depression a good thing?" Inuyasha joked.
Kagome laughed. "Because it's only the second day and things are already much better. We made up and we're heading towards the future."
"Keh."
"Besides…" Kagome looked at her feet, "I'm...able to fall in love with you all over again," she mumbled, face burning hot. She felt Inuyasha's hand twitch. It was no doubt, with his super hearing, that he heard every word she said.
Kagome decided to look up at his face, curious to see his reaction. The expression he had on was adorable. Cheeks flushing bright red, rivalling that of his kimono, he had his eyes closed and his face contorted in a very bashful expression. His free hand scratched the top of his head.
Kagome giggled and looked back in front of her, her heart still beating wildly for the words that had previously escaped her mouth. To be honest, she hadn't expected that either.
"It's strange isn't it?" Kagome asked to no one in particular. "It's only the second day and we made up…it's only been two days since I woke up from after the battle and I've fallen in love with you…again."
"Would you stop saying that so freely?" Kagome heard Inuyasha grumble. Now his entire face beamed red.
She playfully fumed. "Well it's not like it doesn't affect me either. But really, is it strange?"
Inuyasha looked over at her curious eyes with his own thoughtful ones. He looked back ahead of him while he replied. "W-Well even if you forget something, y-your heart doesn't change, right?" He was so embarrassed from hearing himself say such mushy things all over again. It was harder than he thought. Hearing it come from Kagome was bad enough.
Kagome laughed, remembering the exact words coming from her mouth when she told Sesshomaru about his change of heart towards Rin. She moved to wrap her arms around Inuyasha's arm, forcing him to get closer to her. Inuyasha stuttered out some incoherent sounds from his embarrassment as he looked down at Kagome in shock. Kagome wondered a little, why did her body move on its own accord? She shouldn't get so snugly so fast.
'Well, no one's complaining,' thought Kagome happily.
When the two walked closer towards the house in blissful silence, Inuyasha stifled his bursting heart and tried to breathe. But when Kagome said nothing more, Inuyasha couldn't help but smile from true happiness.
Or maybe he was grinning like an idiot, who knows?
~:~:~:~
Sango was sitting in the waiting room when Kagome and Inuyasha came through the front door. When Kagome noticed her, she smiled and went to meet up with her. Inuyasha had given Kagome a questioning face but Kagome reassured him with smile. The two seemed to communicate telepathically as Inuyasha gave a nod and walked down the hall towards the kitchen.
Sango felt her heart give a painful squeeze.
Kagome looked over at her. "Is something wrong?"
"…Did everything go alright? What happened?" Sango asked, even though it wasn't really what she wanted to say.
She watched Kagome's cheeks turn pink. "Y-Yeah! It turned out great actually. We made up and he doesn't want me to remember my memories to move on."
Sango blinked in surprise. "Really? But wasn't he the one who was so depressed about you not remembering?"
"I guess…but he said he's been thinking a lot he's decided on that," Kagome said, sitting down on the nearest couch.
"But did he apologise to you or anything? You know, for neglecting you like that? Did you forgive him?" Sango blurted out her questions in a stream while she sat down across from her.
The frazzled Kagome seemed almost confused. "Yeah, he apologised but…Sango, really, what's with all these questions?"
The demon slayer took in a sharp breath. "I…I was just wondering, that's all."
Kagome gave her the most unconvinced look she could muster.
Sango looked away. "It's nothing! Honestly!"
"Well for you to act like this, it's definitely something," Kagome replied. "What's going on?"
Sango bit her lip and stayed silent.
The other girl sighed. "Are you worried about me, Sango, is that it?"
"…Yes…and no…"
"Sango, nothing's going to change if you don't tell me what's on your mind."
Sango sighed exasperatedly. "See that's exactly the thing! You feel frustrated that I'm not telling you anything or what I'm thinking that's clearly bothering me, but you don't understand that you've been doing the same thing and I'm the one being frustrated!"
Kagome looked startled.
"Yes I'm worried about you, Kagome, who wouldn't be? Sure, Inuyasha's the one being depressed and all but I really wish that you could just tell me what's going on in your mind! It's always been about Inuyasha lately and to be honest…" Sango faded off to catch her breath.
"You're jealous?" Kagome finished for her.
Sango pressed her lips together. "Yeah, actually I am."
"Oh," Kagome replied plainly, looking down. "I see…I'm sorry, I never realised."
The two shared the silence as they listened to the faint laughter coming from the kitchen further down the hall.
"We used to tell each other everything," Sango croaked out. "Our lives depended on it. But I don't think that it should change, right? Even though Naraku's dead? I mean, we're practically sisters and…to be honest, I'm terrified, Kagome. I'm scared that I'll lose you to him."
Kagome got up to sit close beside Sango, putting an arm around her shoulders to bring her close. "Oh Sango, you'll never lose me. Sure I'll get distracted once in a while but you're still my sister. I love both Inuyasha and you…but in different ways. I can't explain it, but understand that you're both very special people to me. And that will never disappear."
Sango sniffed. "Thanks…for saying that," she smiled.
Kagome pulled away so the two could look at each other. Sango gave her a teary smile and Kagome laughed with her.
"Also," Kagome continued a sly smile pulling on her lips. "I think there's someone else you love as well."
Sango was confused for a few seconds before realising what Kagome was suggesting. She shook her head furiously. "N-No! Of course not! Besides, who would love me back with this face?"
Kagome tenderly traced a finger over the battered side of Sango's damaged face and smiled. "He does," she whispered.
Sango tried to argue but Kagome interrupted her by saying that she was hungry from not eating any breakfast. Giggling and giving up, Sango told her to go on ahead without her.
"Are you sure? Is there something else on your mind?" Kagome asked, concerned.
Sango shook her head. "No, I just need to clean myself up. I can't go in there looking like this." She pointed to her bloodshot eyes.
"Alright then," Kagome laughed. She gave her friend a little parting wave and headed towards the kitchen.
'Two things down, one more to go,' thought Kagome. 'I wonder what I should do. Should I tell them or maybe just ask them passively?'
Kagome was pretty sure that Sesshomaru didn't want anyone to know he had such a weakness or even a change of heart. But with her lack of knowledge, where could she start without exposing him?
Kagome entered the kitchen. Izayoi was giggling before looking up at her in greeting.
"Oh, Kagome! You made it just in time! If you came any later, Inuyasha would've eaten your portion too! He's acting like he's a starving wolf!" Izayoi gave a playful shake of her head directed at her son. "That's what you get from pretending you're not hungry. The son I know and raised is always hungry!"
Kagome laughed when she saw the state he was in. The wooden table was filled with all sorts of dishes Izayoi had to cook up for him and Inuyasha was too busy stuffing his face to even notice Kagome come in. Only when he sniffed the room and smelled her did he look up, cheeks puffed up like a chipmunk.
"Meh, Gahgome," Inuyasha greeted her once, returning to his plate of food. Kagome laughed and returned the greeting. She sat down across from him and delicately ate from her plate, well, in comparison to Inuyasha of course. Izayoi busied herself with Inuyasha, scolding him and such.
"I'm glad you returned to us safely, Lady Kagome," Miroku said, sitting down in the seat beside her. Kagome was startled from Miroku's sudden addition to her name again. It's been a while since she's heard something like that. She couldn't even remember him saying that before…
"You don't have to call me that," Kagome smiled. "I don't have my powers anymore."
Miroku frowned.
"My mark disappeared after I woke up so I'm no longer a priestess. I can't see auras like I used to," she explained.
The frown on the monk's face only got deeper. "But I can still feel-"
"We forgot to ask you before but where were you last night, Kagome?" Izayoi interrupted, unknowing to Miroku and Kagome's side conversation.
Reluctantly tearing herself away from Miroku's strange reaction, fear suddenly dug itself into Kagome's heart as she tried to find an excuse. "Um well, you see…er…"
The room suddenly got quiet as Inuyasha ceased his gobbling and swallowed. He set his cutlery down with a quiet clatter and looked at Kagome with a serious face. Something in his eyes gave her the message not to lie.
Kagome sighed. "Well, I was going out for a walk when I…met up with Sesshomaru."
The tension in the room noticeably got thicker.
"You saw Sesshomaru?" Izayoi asked, her voice hushed in fear. She looked over at Inuyasha. "Is this true?"
"Yeah, it's true," Inuyasha said. His eyes kept looking at Kagome with a very solemn expression, as if deciding what to do about it. But he kept talking to his mother. "I don't know what happened and he wasn't there when I found her, but Sesshomaru was definitely with her. I could smell him on her when I carried her back." A few seconds passed before he looked away from Kagome's surprised look; pink decorating his cheeks.
'Good thing I didn't lie,' Kagome thought, relieved. 'But…Inuyasha already knew from the start and yet…he didn't say anything! That sneaky-…He was waiting for me to say something, wasn't he?' Kagome huffed while glaring at Inuyasha. He didn't seem to notice.
But Kagome hurried to defend the former demon lord when Inuyasha had a suspicious face on and Izayoi's expression was extremely worried. Miroku was just as serious.
Kagome tried to relax the air. "He didn't do anything bad! Quite the opposite actually. I had cut my knees and my hands before I met him and...believe it or not, he ripped up some cloth from his kimono for me to bandage my wounds. That's probably why Inuyasha smelled him on me."
Kagome looked around the room to met four pairs of wide eyes. Sango had entered the room right at Kagome's explanation and coughed at the conclusion.
"He…helped you?" Sango choked.
Kagome nervously chuckled. "Yeah?"
"But what was he doing outside? He hasn't come home once since Naraku's death," Izayoi worried.
"Well…" Kagome hesitated. Everyone looked to her for answers. 'Great,' she thought. 'I'll be killed if he finds out I told them…'
When the rest of the family didn't shy away their curious eyes, Kagome sighed and gave in. "He was out looking for a little girl who had helped him the three days after he was turned human. My guess is that he was worried about her with the incident with Naraku and all."
"That bastard doesn't care about anyone but himself," Inuyasha interjected. "Since when did a little girl change his mind?"
"But he was genuinely worried about her, I saw! When we found her, she was half dead, beaten up by the villagers."
Izayoi gasped. "Why would they do such a thing to her?"
"When she took care of Sesshomaru, she stole food and clothing from them. I'm guessing she got caught the next time she went and barely made it out alive," Kagome said. "But when we found her…it's the first time I've seen such strong emotion in Sesshomaru's eyes. That look of fear was so alien for him but…it wasn't something he was used to so he couldn't hide it."
The whole room when silent with shock.
Kagome felt her own face get serious as she looked down at her empty plate. She might as well mention her plans since she's said this much already. "I want to find a way to change him back into a demon."
3…
2…
1…
"You want to do WHAT?" Inuyasha roared, choking on his coffee. The whole room was set back into play.
"Kagome!" Sango cried out in disbelief.
Miroku frowned. "I'm not sure if that's a good idea…He did threaten your life when he first arrived."
"What makes you say that, Kagome?" Izayoi asked, also looking quite frazzled by the news.
Kagome licked her lips nervously. It wasn't easy being under all those demanding eyes. "I know it's hard to believe but trust me, Sesshomaru's had a change of heart! Maybe not towards other people but seeing him act around that girl…I'm sure of it."
Inuyasha huffed. "What makes that girl so special?"
"That's the thing, she's not special, special. She's just…" Kagome sucked in a breath for a pregnant pause. "The girl's only around eight years old; a normal human girl."
Kagome knew she hit a point when she drove the whole room into silence again.
"A…human?" Inuyasha breathed out. "But…Sesshomaru hates humans! He hates humans more than he hates me! And that's already enough said!"
Kagome nodded. "I know. And that's why I'm sure something in him has changed. Think about it, would the old Sesshomaru, the one that forced me to be his slave, spend two days searching for one human girl and offer scraps of his own clothing for my wounds?"
"That doesn't mean he won't attack you once he's turned back into a demon," Sango criticised.
"It's possible, but I think…for the girl's sake, he won't try unless absolutely necessary."
"He could be faking it," grumbled Inuyasha.
"Yes, again, that's possible. But the girl called out to him by name and him to her. She lives outside the village; an outcast. She has to survive in the forest by herself and stole for Sesshomaru's well-being. She's starving and dirty, living like one would on the streets and yet, her kind heart melted Sesshomaru's cold one. Even if he's faking it, why pick someone like her of all people."
The room held its silence. While they let the shock set in they weighted the numerous possibilities in their individual scales of justice. Kagome waited anxiously for their answer. She wanted to find a way to change Sesshomaru back to his original form but she still needed everyone's consent.
Inuyasha was the first to voice his opinion. "I'm still against it," he said firmly. "No matter what that bastard does I'm not trusting him."
Kagome sighed and nodded. Knowing Inuyasha, his stubborn attitude wasn't something to fight against. Especially when it came to his half-brother.
For transformation: 1
Against transformation: 1
"I'm sorry, Kagome, but I'm not risking it." Sango looked into Kagome's eyes as she spoke. "I can't forgive him for what he's done to you. I'm with Inuyasha on this one."
For transformation: 1
Against transformation: 2
Kagome looked over at Miroku, unable to hold in her silent pleas for him to be on her side. Out of all of them, Kagome trusted Miroku as the wisest one. With his knowledge and experience during his travels he should make the best decision, no matter which one it was.
Miroku closed his eyes and his eye-brows furrowed in concentration on his thoughts. Finally, his sapphire eyes opened to stare into Kagome's brown ones. "I'm for it. I know you have a good sense of judgement, Kagome, and I'm trusting you on this one. If Sesshomaru really did what you said he did than I know he's not faking."
Kagome couldn't help the grin that spread over her face. "Thank you," she silently mouthed. Miroku gave her a small smile. He still had his doubts but the proof got the best of him.
For transformation: 2
Against transformation: 2
Everyone looked to Izayoi who was clearing have her own internal conflict. She looked really uncomfortable for being the one to make the final decision.
"Well…um…" Izayoi conflicted. Then she sighed and looked down at the floor in front of her, strangely silent, her hands clasped together in front of her.
There's that saying: 'The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife'. In this case, you could probably build a brigade with the air in that kitchen.
Everyone heard Izayoi's intake of breath. "I think…" Izayoi started. Everyone in the room tensed. "I think…Totosai might know something about how to transform him back."
Miroku and Kagome sighed in relief whereas Inuyasha and Sango reacted against it in an uproar.
Inuyasha even pushed himself up from his chair. "Mom!"
"Lady Izayoi!" Sango protested by the entryway to the kitchen.
The lady raised her hand and silenced the two immediately. She looked over at them, unwavering. "Blame me for my weak heart if you must or even say I'm naïve for hoping that it's true…but I trust Kagome on this one. The girl helped bandage Sesshomaru, meaning he let her close to him when he can't even stand living in this house with us."
Inuyasha growled and after some time clenching his fists in fury, he stormed out of the room. Sango sighed, defeated.
Kagome looked over at the lady, hoping to drive her attention away from the other two before she regretted anything. "So what did you say about Totosai?"
Izayoi turned to her and smiled. "Well it's just a suggestion but since Totosai's quite older than my husband, he must know something about it over his long years of life."
Kagome walked over to her, smiling gratefully at the woman and thanking her graciously. "If anything happens…if anything bad happens, I'll take full responsibility for it," Kagome offered.
Izayoi smiled warmly while placing a hand on Kagome's cheek. She said nothing in reply but sending her complete trust through her touch.
But before walking out the kitchen, Kagome turned back to Izayoi. "Do you mind if I take some medication with me later? For the girl? She's heavily injured and she doesn't own any proper medical aid other than gauze."
Izayoi nodded. "Of course. And if she and Sesshomaru are willing to, you can bring her back here for recovery." Kagome thanked her for her offer.
But this time before walking out the door, Kagome was stopped by Sango's hand on her shoulder. Kagome looked over at her and Sango looked back with a serious face.
"Be careful," Sango warned. But then she gave a little smile as truce.
Kagome returned the smile. "I will," she reassured.
Walking down the grand hallway towards the entrance of the house, Kagome felt sort of giddy as she grinned during her walk. She was happy and everything was turning out right, and for Sesshomaru, she would make things right.
When Kagome touched the doorknob of the front door, Inuyasha's voice stopped her in her tracks.
"This just makes me wish you were back to when you didn't trust anyone."
Kagome turned around to look at him. The silver-haired half-demon was standing halfway up the staircase looking down at her. His face showed annoyance but his eyes were filled with tenderness when he looked at her, letting her know he was teasing her.
Kagome smiled and played along. "But then I wouldn't trust you either, would I?" She watched as Inuyasha raised an eyebrow, humoured by her reply.
Suddenly, he disappeared. It only took half a second for Kagome to realise he reappeared only centimetres away from her face. His sunny orbs bore deep into her eyes. His warm breath tickled her nose as he spoke.
"You shouldn't trust me, even now," he said huskily. Kagome felt her heart give a little dance as she tried to make her mouth form something intelligent.
"Uh…um…I…you…er…"
Yeah, so much for understandable let alone intelligent.
Inuyasha gave a deep chuckle as he continued to stare Kagome down. Not getting closer nor pulling away.
Her hand still on the door's handle, Kagome fumbled around with it for a while before remembering that she had to press down on it for it to open. She quickly ducked away from Inuyasha's face, threw open the door and flew out into open air, running like a maniac. She didn't even make it to the stairs when she was swept into Inuyasha's arms. Her arms instinctively wrapped themselves around his neck as he jumped down the last flight of stairs. She stifled her scream from escaping her mouth but it still sounded in her throat.
"Eeeek!" Kagome squeaked as she felt herself fly. She clung onto Inuyasha for dear life as he laughed at her reaction.
When they landed softly at the bottom, Inuyasha looked down at Kagome, laughter shining in his eyes. She looked so frazzled it was lovable.
"Tha…That was dangerous!" Kagome fumed, even though her argument was hopeless considering Inuyasha's a half-demon. But she continued. "You scared me half-to-death!" She glared up at him.
"Well if you're going to Totosai, I'm not letting you go alone," Inuyasha smirked.
"But I thought you were against it."
Inuyasha's expression changed as he huffed. "I am," he grumbled. "But I can't stop you no matter what I say so I might as well go along with it."
Kagome laughed.
"But that doesn't mean I won't complain on the way!" Inuyasha warned, setting Kagome down. She playfully punched him.
The two laughed and joked all the way to Totosai's hut, relieved that their connection didn't remain broken.
~:~:~:~
"Oh? So Sesshomaru's still human?" Totosai asked, amused. Kagome was sweating buckets in his house. She had forgotten how hot it was in there. She was surprised her skin wasn't melting off already.
"I want to find a way to turn him back into a demon," Kagome said. "Do you know a way I can do that?"
When she and Inuyasha arrived, Kagome went straight to the point after discussing previous events such as Naraku's death and so forth. She explained to Totosai what she saw with her night with Sesshomaru and the debate the whole family had for it.
"Well, I got nothing for or against it," the old man said. "Besides, he could kill me whether he's a demon or not."
Inuyasha laughed. "Getting old, you old man?" Totosai glared at him.
"Says the teen that's not even past 300 years old! Don't come crying to me once you look like me!"
"Yuck," Inuyasha said while sticking his tongue out in fake disgust.
Kagome playfully elbowed him in the ribs. "You better turn out like your father first. At least he's good looking." Inuyasha blushed and feigned hurt.
Giggling for a while, Kagome finally tried to compose herself. "So Totosai…is there?" She repeated her question, getting back to the point.
"Hm…" the demon thought, using a hand to stroke his beard. "That depends. How strong are your powers?"
Kagome's heart dropped. "I…don't have them anymore."
"What?" Inuyasha looked at her, startled. Totosai just looked at her, curious and didn't say a single word.
"Well, when I woke up the day after Naraku's death, my Butterfly Mark was gone. And before, I was able to see auras on things and people but starting from that day, I no longer can," Kagome explained. She remembered when she walked to Totosai's hut previously with Izayoi and the rest the number of colours that swarmed all over the village. This time, Kagome saw what any other normal person would see; bustling everyday life and moving people.
"Great!" Inuyasha triumphed much to Kagome's irritation. "Then I guess we won't have to transform that bastard back!"
"But I think you're mistaken," Totosai said towards Kagome, breaking off Inuyasha's happy dance. "I can still feel spiritual powers coming from you."
"What?" Kagome replied dumbly. Inuyasha gave the man an exasperated look.
Totosai nodded his head while still stroking his beard, ignoring the hanyou. "Yep, I can still sense that you still have your powers. I'm a demon that's lived through many, many years, so I can tell between normal people and those with spiritual powers."
"But, I don't have my mark anymore and I can't see auras!" Kagome's heart fumbled about in excitement.
The man just shrugged. "You were given those aura-seeing powers by the Butterfly Mark. It increased your spiritual powers by immense measures. I'm sure even strong priests and priestesses like that of Kikyo can't see auras. Just because you can't see them, doesn't mean you can't feel them." Totosai finally turned to look at Inuyasha. "Speaking of which, how is Kikyo?"
Kagome and Inuyasha flinched. They had purposely left Kikyo out of the picture, not wanting to bring up bad memories.
"If you really want to know, our engagement's off," Inuyasha said, serious. "She was working with Naraku to try and get Kagome killed." Kagome didn't miss the obvious hurt lingering in his eyes.
Totosai's face turned grave. "So where is she now?"
Inuyasha shrugged. "To be honest, nobody knows. Nobody cares. Kagome had kicked her out of the house the moment we returned alive, to Kikyo's shock." Inuyasha looked over at Kagome, smirking. "I say she did a pretty good job, telling her off."
Totosai gave Kagome an amused look and she blushed under their gaze.
"Well it's not like I liked her that much in the first place."
"Well, good riddance, I say." Totosai stretched his arms. "I just can't believe you didn't get rid of her the second time she left you," he scolded Inuyasha. "You even went as far as resurrecting her!"
Inuyasha looked extremely irritated. "Yeah I get the point! I made the wrong decision! So will you get off my back already?" The two continued to argue whereas Kagome thought about what Totosai had said earlier about her powers.
Something clicked inside Kagome. In a way, she guessed, it was true. Last night when she was with Sesshomaru, she had unknowingly made reference to his aura; whether it was tense, dark or even worried. There weren't any colours but Kagome hadn't noticed that she unconsciously knew nonetheless.
Kagome's heart leapt in excitement as she hurried to interrupt the two babbling men. "In that case…Totosai, please tell me what I should do."
The old sword-smith thought for a while before saying, "Personally, I've never seen it performed before but there's something called a Reverse-Purification…The name says it all."
Believe it or not but this story is nearing its end! You guys must be happy that it's almost over huh? ;)
Joking! Joking! :O
Any ideas of how to end it? Don't worry, a happy epilogue is guaranteed so any ideas of an ending before that?
See you next time and hope you like this chapter!
WanderingDreamer4Ever