~~~~~JJ's POV, one month later~~~~~

I thought it was an evening like any other. Many customers, one of my barmen taking a day off, me having to replace him, that kind of stuff. I was serving some annoying customers, hoping they would get drunk soon so I could get rid of them, when an unexpected person walked in. My eyes widened slightly. 'Holy fuckin mother-raping cow! It's Hirako!' However, I tried to act as natural as possible, ignoring one thing: he looked depressed as fuck, and even that was a huge understatement. He dropped some money on the table, looking at me neutrally dead. "The Scholarship Office." He ordered. Okay, now I was getting incredibly concerned.

For starters, I think I need to explain what the Scholarship Office was. The club has some more 'private' rooms which anyone could use. Okay, anyone with money. They are both pretty expensive. The first is called 'The Scholarship Office'. It's basically a room where the customer is being brought anything he wants: herbs or cigarettes, sake or cocktails etc. in a very official manner. Usually, couples go there to… get some privacy.

The second, however, has something more. Women. It's called 'The Businessman Office' and, of course, it's more expensive. It is also mostly preferred by single men, obviously.

Now, the thing was… well, Hirako hadn't entered any of the two since he had left. I knew him too well. When he was upset, he sulked. When he was very upset, he drank. When he was… I don't know, incredibly upset, on the edge of suicide, well, that was when he did drugs. And fuck, it was rare. His optimistic attitude and the influence of Shinigami education and language made him rarely upset and disgusted by drugs. Also, he only drank when he didn't have anything else for comfort. He had never showed Niagra-san either office, and I doubted that she knew about them. Wait a second… the only thing that could get him that upset was if something had happened to her. Maybe she was in hospital unconscious or something… wait… her being in hospital meant that she was alive, which was enough to comfort him away from drinking. Then what happened?

I led my friend to the private room and took a seat. He didn't say anything. For a while I was questioning myself whether he knew I was there. He drank slowly, absorbed in thought. After a few bottles and some cigarettes (he was always so hard to get drunk or drugged! Altough I was the only one who managed to do it) he finally spoke. His voice sounded broken and weak, as if he had lost all resolve. I just kept asking myself what could have happened to get him like that.

"So, aren't you going to ask what happened?"

"Nah, I figured you'll tell me when you feel like it."

He shrugged, smiling amused. "And if I never will?"

I sighed. Maybe he was a bit dizzy. "Then I'm fine not knowing. I know you didn't come here to be interrogated, Shinji. You would have stayed back if you wanted to relate a story. You are only searching for relief, something to get your mind off whatever's bugging you."

His smile faded halfway through my words, about the time I said his name. He took a deep breath, finishing the joint. I didn't like seeing him like this. He was my model in life. Even after he had left. I wished I could follow him. In my eyes, he was someone strong, worthy to be followed. Seeing him like this made me think of horrible things.

"You know, JJ, life is a bitch. Especially when you rely on her too much." He sighed. "When you get emotionally involved you're the easiest to break."

"What are you talking about? You were the one who said that emotions lead us, strengthen us and make us…"

"It's still true… but while the outside gets stronger, the inside gets weaker. And when you lose that one thing you care about the most… it's game over."

"What are you talking about? It's not like you can lose anything right now. You're strong and you can protect everyone." I said, my fists clenching.

He laughed, not that anything was funny. When he stopped, the pain returned, now even stronger. "You're right, JJ. I can protect… and break."

He took another sip, not bothering to talk during the next few bottles. My fists were clenched in frustration. I didn't understand anything he said. His words held a sad tint to them and I was desperately trying to comprehend him. He just glanced at me from time to time, less and less connected with the reality. I was hoping that he would tell me everything in the end, when he would be drunk enough. His normal self wouldn't even breathe a word of what happened, but he was usually more talkative when drunk and that's what I was relying on.

"JJ, which one of my girlfriends did you like the most?" Hirako asked suddenly.

"Emmalin." I answered immediately. There was nothing I had to debate and I knew the same went for him.

He smiled sadly, avoiding my eyes on him. "I see… why?"

I shrugged. "Well, firstly, she's a hottie and secondly, you two are like made for each other."

His fists clenched, his eyes squeezing shut in pain. As he calmed down, he said. "We were made for each other?"

"Well, yeah. She… oh, fuck, Hirako, you know I'm not good at this sort of stuff. What's the point?" I have always been fully aware that I sucked balls at reading people. He was good at that kind of shit and that was another reason why I admired him.

He smirked slightly. "Yeah, I know."

Then silence again. I was starting to regret shutting him so quickly and violently, but I soon realized that he didn't answer my question. After my head started hurting from too much thinking (my brain is usually on holiday and it complains when it has to work), I got bored and started counting my friend's empty sake bottles. '1, 2, 3, 4, 5… 6… 7… 8!' Oh, damn. Those Shinigami would kill me for getting him that drunk. I sighed, thinking about a way to take him home. 'This night was useless after all. I don't know shit.'

"Hirako, you should go home. It's late and…"

He interrupted me. "And what? Don't worry, JJ, no one will hurt you. They all know you."

I sighed. Silence again. I eyed him warily, trying to figure something, anything. I was surprised that he still looked somewhat normal, not trashed or anything. His eyes were a small giveaway of the joints lying on the table, but other than that, he looked normal, only suffering. I soon noticed that he was scanning me as well, his caramel eyes hard and unforgiving. His gaze then went lower, to the table. His eyes widened slightly in comprehension and he sighed, depression taking over again.

"JJ…" he started softly "do you have any idea why I came here tonight?"

"No." I answered.

He sighed. "Thought so. I'm a sinner..."

I interrupted him. "You're not, my friend. Things just go wrong sometimes."

He shook his head in denial. "JJ… I did something horrible."

I gulped. "Don't worry. Whatever it is, I won't judge you."

"Stop speaking like her." He whispered. I barely heard him. "Arigato."

"Shinji, what did you do?"

He took a deep breath, as if trying to shoo away the memory. "I… I killed her, JJ. I killed Emmalin with my own sword."

A/N: Well, yeah, two chapters in the same day. That's because you are getting nothing for about a month. I am leaving on holiday! In France! Oh, yeah! Well, that is from 9 to 21 August. 1-4 is another trip… well maybe I'll write something in-between. But until then, good luck figuring what Aizen did. And Shinji.