Including this bad boy, we've only got 10 more chapters before the end of this instalment…

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MissTeller-Ortiz-Dixon: You called me Honey and I squealed. Don't ask why... I just love pet names :):) I'm really glad you like my stories! Oh, and... did someone say... Neckie? Ask, and you shall receive ;)

BlueBloodsSVUOrder: So glad you're enjoying! There's no Daryl in this chapter, but I promise he'll be back soon :):)

karrie. conner. 1: Personally hate that I love them together too... Daryl is my man, but Negan is stealin' the show right now :P thanks for the review!

Guest: Can I just say... thank you! Seriously, thank you. That review... I always get a little worried when it comes to guest reviews, especially if they're long, but I had no need to stress with yours. Thank you so much, a appreciate every word, and I'm glad you like the story so much :):)

Bamby

VPOV

After Negan had left my room yesterday, I hadn't seen him. I stayed hidden in my room until Eugene came back later that evening, inviting me to his place for dinner. I went, and we ate. We talked a little more, played some video games. When it was dark, and late, I left.

Once I was back in my room, I locked the door and set myself on the couch once more. I didn't sleep- though I did catch myself drifting off here and there. I was exhausted and needed the rest… but refused to let my guard down.

Now, the morning after, I'd set myself outside on the stairs near the Sanctuary entrance and sipped on a cup of coffee.

I'm not a coffee drinker, but I needed the boost. The last time I'd actually gotten some decent sleep was with Daryl, just a few days ago. But before that, when we'd been apart, my sleep had been pretty poor. Now, it was non-existent.

A few workers were busy doing as they were told as a couple of Saviours ordered them around. My guard stood behind me, silent and waiting. His name was Alden. He was… different. Compared to the rest of my guards he seemed kind of nice. Nice enough that if things didn't improve I think I could become friends with him… kind of.

Looking over at the chain-link fence surrounding the compound, I watched the walkers that lined the fence to keep the rest of the dead away.

Being here at the Sanctuary, it kind of reminded me of the prison. Only with the added rules and worship. But the actual building itself... it made me wonder…

Glenn and I sat in the guard tower, looking out at the perimeter, guns next to us, ready just in case.

The fight with the Governor and the Woodbury people was over. We'd brought more people in- including Aly- and the Governor was gone. But I didn't care. Not right now at least. No, right now all I cared about was spending some time with my best friend.

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... 'T'."

I grinned. "Tree?"

Chuckling, he nodded. "This game isn't fun when there's not much to spy."

"True," I laughed lightly. "Thumb wars again?"

But instead, he turned to me, his smile gone. "You think we're gonna make it here?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... we just brought more people in. We could find more, build up the place, fight the walkers, make a home here. Clear out some more cell blocks, fix up any areas walkers can get through." He looked out at the field. "We could find animals and breed them here. We could farm. We could... we could do anything."

Smiling, I looked out, seeing what he could see. "Yeah." I nodded. "Yeah."

"So... you think we could do it? Do you think we could survive here?"

Turning back to him, I shrugged. "Pretty sure we can do anything as long as we're all together."

"Good morning." Eugene's voice brought me back to the present. He nodded to me as he stood at the bottom of the steps. He was dressed in the dark coat, shirt and jeans again, his teddy hanging out of a pocket.

I offered him a little smile. "Mornin'."

"Did you, uh… how'd you sleep?"

His concern was obvious. Seeing him eyeing me, looking me up and down. My hair had been pulled up into a haphazard bun on the top of my head. My clothes were scrunched and creased- because I still hadn't changed since getting here. I had no doubt that my eyes conveyed the lack of sleep I'd been getting…

But I still lied.

"Fine, Eugene." I continued to smile at him. "I'm fine."

…

I stood in my little kitchen, stirring a cup of coffee. It was probably my sixth, and it wasn't even lunch time yet. My hands shook as I held the spoon. I knew it was from the caffeine, but I needed it. I'd rather deal with shaking hands, than fall asleep and get attacked.

There was a knock on my door.

Turning, I moved over to answer it, opening the door to find Negan standing on the other side, Lucille resting over his shoulder. I simply took a step to the side, letting him in, before I closed the door once more.

He moved to the middle of my room, glancing over at my coffee. His face was unreadable as he stood there in his leather jacket and dark jeans. His eyes looked towards my bed… my untouched bed.

"When's the last time you slept?"

Goddamn Eugene.

I'd been moving to the kitchen but froze at his question. If I opened my mouth, I wasn't sure if he'd like what I had to say…

"Speak when spoken to, Victoria," he warned.

I shrugged, continuing for the kitchen. "I sleep on and off. I'm fine. Really."

"Don't fucking lie to me."

"I'm not." I was.

"I've got eyes everywhere. You really fucking think I won't find out if you're lying?" He walked over to me, taking the cup from my grasp and setting it back down on the counter. "If you won't answer that question, then tell me how many coffees you've had this morning."

"Three," I lied again. He just gave me a pointed look. "Four… five… okay, that's my sixth," I admitted. Knowing he was going to press for an answer to his other question, I quickly came up with a believable lie. "I didn't sleep last night because of my head. Didn't exactly want to sleep when I wasn't sure if I had a concussion or not."

He took a moment, looking down at me intensely, before giving a short nod. "Okay. I believe you."

"Good." Reaching over, I grabbed my coffee again and moved over to the couch. "Is there anything else?"

Sighing once more, he watched as I sat down, lowering Lucille to his side. "Just wanted to make sure you're settling in."

"Well, I am."

"I can see that."

"So… you can go now."

His grin found its way to his lips then as he gave an amused scoff. "All right." Bringing Lucille to his shoulder again, he started for the door. "Oh, and Sweetheart?" When I looked over at him, he went on. "Just know, if you ever need anything, my door is always open." With that, he left.

RPOV

I stood behind Jadis as she looked over the guns we'd brought her. Gabriel, Tara, Rosita and Aaron had come with Michonne and I after we showed everyone what we'd found during the few days we'd been gone.

"Operational? All?" Jadis asked.

I shrugged. "To the best of my knowledge, yeah." Stepping closer, I looked into the van where all the guns sat. "May need some cleaning. We found supplies."

Tamiel- who stood near the van- looked offended. "Expect us?"

"We cleaned some. We oiled some," I assured them. "You can do the rest. We do this together."

Jadis turned to me, a bored look on her face. "Yes, yes, but operational?"

"Well, you can fire a few. Try them out, if you like," I suggested.

"How many?" Brion asked.

"Sixty-three," Michonne answered.

"We made an inventory," Tara told them as she pulled the booklet out of her pocket.

Jadis just shook her head. "No."

Tara paused. "You mean the inventory?"

"Not enough."

"What?" Rosita spoke up. "Wha-What are you talking about?"

"You asked for a lot of guns." I gestured to the van. "That's what this is."

"Enough to fight your fight. Us? Nearly twice," Jadis explained. "Need nearly twice."

Rosita shook her head, stepping forward, moving for the van. "We've wasted enough time. Let's go. Take our guns with us."

But Jadis shook her head, staying between us and the guns. "No. Our guns to take. Our deal still on."

I sighed, turning back to her, thinking it over. "Not all of them. We're keeping ten for ourselves. To find more."

"Five," she countered

"Ten."

"Six."

I stood my ground. "Ten."

"Nine. And the cat back."

Shaking my head, I took step closer to her. "Twenty. I keep the cat. We get you the guns. We fight together. Say yes."

Slowly, her lips turned up into a smile. "Yes," she agreed. "More soon, we'll fight." Then she turned and moved out of the way so her people could collect their guns.

As they worked Michonne came over to stand next to me. "You get a few more days before 'what happens next'."

I nodded. "Few more days."

"That's right," she assured me. "We'll find more, figure it out. Soon. In a few more days."

VPOV

Night had fallen long ago, the sun was well and truly gone, leaving the Sanctuary in darkness. I'd spent the majority of the day listening to Negan's words echoing in my mind.

'Just know, if you ever need anything, my door is always open.'

I'd fought not to listen to it, I tried and tried not to give in… but I was so tired…

Leaving Alden in the hallway, I lifted my hand and rapped my knuckles on the door in front of me.

"Come in," his voice called through the wood.

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my fingers around the door handle before turning it and pushing forward. Stepping inside, I closed the door behind me, keeping my back to Negan as I gathered myself before turning to face him.

He stood with Simon by his desk, the two looking down at some papers. I'd obviously interrupted.

"Oh, I'm sorry... I can come back." I went to leave.

"No, it's fine. We're finished here," Negan told me as he nodded to Simon.

Not needing to be told anymore, Simon nodded back to Negan before he started for the door. As he passed me, he offered a smile. "Vickie."

I gave a small smile back. "Simon."

I was not an idiot. I knew who these people were, what they could do and what they had already done. Just because I was friendly, didn't mean I'd forgotten. But things were simply easier if I didn't fight.

Besides, Simon was actually a pretty decent guy. Sure, he was Negan's right-hand man. Sure, he was the one who trapped my people that day. Sure, he was technically a bad guy. But he wasn't as bad as he seemed. He could be pretty funny, and appeared to like me, so I was willing to ignore the past- for now- and be friendly back.

Once Simon was gone, and the door closed behind him, I turned my attention back to Negan.

He watched me expectantly. "And what brings you here at this hour?"

I sighed, getting it over and done with. "I can't sleep."

He laughed. I mean, he actually laughed.

"If you're just going to laugh at me, I can leave." I gestured to the door behind me.

Calming himself, he kept his grin on as he spoke. "So, why are you here? What do you think I can do to help you?"

Shrugging, I pointed to his bedroom door. "Let me sleep with you." He raised an eye brow and I rolled my eyes. "Sleep, Negan. That's all."

Watching me intently, he gave a short nod. "Be my guest." Gesturing to the door, he leaned back against his desk as he watched me.

Turning away from him, I moved to the bedroom door and opened it, stepping inside. Looking around, I felt a little more at ease. The room was exactly like it had been when Carl and I were here a few days ago.

"Make yourself comfortable."

I jumped, feeling Negan right behind me. Refusing to turn and look at him, I looked at the bed, remembering what had happened last time I was pressed to those sheets.

"There's a bathroom over there." He gestured to the door on the left. "Go get yourself cleaned up, I'll have someone fetch you something to wear." When I finally turned to him, only to give a glare, he chuckled. "Don't worry. I'm not gonna make you wear some flimsy lace thing." He grinned. "Not unless that's what you want."

Rolling my eyes, I turned away from him. "Pyjamas are perfectly fine, Negan," I called over my shoulder as I entered the bathroom.

…

I opened the door of the bathroom to step out into the bedroom, only to freeze at the sight before me.

Negan sat up on his bed, sheet draped over his lower half, while the rest of him was naked and on display. My eyes wandered over his chest, noting the fact that it was hairier than Daryl's. I found I actually preferred less hair… not that I should be checking another man out… especially this one.

Just so you know… I hated what I was doing. I knew it was wrong. I knew I was betraying everyone I'd left behind, and everyone the Saviours had hurt and killed. But I couldn't sleep. I didn't feel safe by myself. The only person in the whole place I would be safe with, was Negan.

No one would dare try anything with him around, and he knew better than to do something to me. If he wanted my people to stay in line, I had to stay intact.

Papers in hand, he flicked through whatever it was he was reading, the lamp on the nightstand to his left the only light on. "I sleep in the nude," he spoke without looking at me. "You have a problem with that, there's the door." He pointed to the door that led to his office.

"I'm taking the couch."

"No. You fucking aren't. Close your eyes," he told me, which I did. I waited, listening to him move about, mumbling under his breath. "Goddamn woman," he huffed. There was a second or two of silence before he spoke again, "Okay, you can look now."

As I opened my eyes I found him sitting on the bed, now with some sweat pants on, papers back in his hands as he continued to read them as if nothing had happened.

Moving carefully, I placed my folded clothes on the chair by the bathroom door before moving to the bed. Pulling the sheet back, I slipped in, making sure there was space between his body and mine. As I shifted to lie down, I couldn't help but notice how loose and comfortable the nightdress.

While I'd been showering, Negan had knocked on the door. I'd let him in, knowing he wouldn't try anything, and that he was simply bringing me something to wear.

Sure enough, he'd placed a night dress on the bench, told me I could use whatever I wanted, and then left.

Once I was finished washing myself and had stepped out of the shower, I found the nightdress and instantly dreaded what it would look like. But as I unfolded it, I was pleasantly surprised to see that it was actually quite nice. Made of cotton, falling just above the knee, with thin straps that I adjusted to cover myself.

He spoke up suddenly, pulling my attention to him. "You mentioned that Daryl's brother had left before you joined the group," he noted, still flicking through the paperwork. "So, you and your family haven't been with the group since the beginning?"

"Well... kinda." I shrugged. "Dad had been in a coma. His friend, Shane, told us he'd died. So mum, Carl, Shane and I left town. We tried to get to Atlanta. I got separated from them. Was on my own for about a month or so. Glenn found me..." I looked down at my hands as they rested in my lap.

"He's one of the ones I killed."

It wasn't a question. I guess Negan could just tell from looking at me, and the way I'd said Glenn's name...

"Yeah." I nodded. "He found me and took me to his camp. When I stepped out of the car, the first person I saw was Shane. I'd been so shocked and so happy. We'd been kinda dating, so-"

He suddenly cut me off, "You dated your dad's friend?"

"Kinda… it's a long story." I went on, "So, I was at the camp, saw Shane, and then my mum and brother. It felt like a dream. I thought I'd died or something. That maybe I was in heaven." A smile played on my lips. "When dad stepped out of a truck that had been following Glenn, I thought I was dead for sure. It was one of the best days of my life."

Negan let out a breath. "That's like a goddamn scene from a movie."

I nodded, looking up at him. "I've had some pretty good moments, and equally shitty ones. Nothing's simple anymore," I noted, finding myself staring into his eyes.

Talk about things not being simple...

I would never admit this- at least I hope I never did- but I knew I was attracted to Negan. I knew I wanted him. From the moment he stepped out of the RV that night. I'd said it then, and I'll say it now. I found him attractive. It was the kind of attraction you can't shrug off. The kind that burned in your veins.

When I first met Shane, I'd been a baby. Literally. He'd come to the hospital after I was born. But as the years went by, my feelings changed. From looking to him like an uncle, to crushing on him like he was some kind of celebrity or something. When he'd expressed feelings as well, I'd been shocked. When we started dating, it was new and exciting. But it had never been hot.

When I first met Daryl, there hadn't been instant heat. He'd tried killing my dad. I saw him as a threat and acted accordingly. But as time went by, and we were put in situations where we were together, I'd come to realise I liked him. Like turned to want, want turned to love. I could honestly say I had never and will never love anyone the way I love Daryl. He was my soul mate.

Despite my feelings for Daryl, I still felt something for Negan. Not love- never love. Not like either. I didn't even care about the man. No, there was just an animal need scratching at my insides, as if reminding me of its existence every two seconds.

There was nothing to worry about though. As long as I had Daryl, and my sanity, and my hatred towards Negan, I would never act upon my lust. Having things in place to control the animal and keep my mind clear, meant I was safe from making any horrible mistakes.

So yeah, things weren't simple. But if they were going to be hard, I was going to at least keep some semblance of control. Like I'd been telling everyone lately, it's my life and my choice.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?" he asked, pulling my attention to him again.

I hesitated as I look down at my hands again, but after a moment I took a breath and told him the truth, "Because I'm scared."

Reaching over, he cupped my cheek and turned my head so I was looking at him. His eyes searched mine as he looked down at me with no smirk. "You don't have to be."

Even though I knew I shouldn't… I believed him.

His hand dropped then. "Now, lay down and get some sleep. I won't try anything. Promise. I'm just gonna finish up some work."

Nodding, I shifted so I was lying down. I snuggled into the pillow, noting the fact that I was surrounded by his smell. But that didn't seem to matter, because within moments I'd already drifted off to sleep.

Bamby