A/N: Thanks for bearing with me on these. I'm glad you're liking them, even if they made you cry. I hope you like this one, too, and I'm certain you'll like 26. :) As always, thank you for the reads and reviews. DMAA

Chapter Twenty-Five: Ritual

I spent the night at the hospital, coiled on a cot beside Casey's bed. She seemed to sleep better when we touched, and I felt her hand at my back the entire night. It was in the early hours before dawn that I knew she had awakened because her fingers were tracing circles and figure eights in a rhythmic pattern between my shoulder blades. "Good morning," I purred, pushing my hair out of my eyes and looking up at her.

"Good morning," she whispered back, smiling at me. Her fingers moved over the back of my shoulders to my neck and cheek. She pressed her thumb to my lips, and I kissed it gently. "It's still dark and grey. But, I think I can be okay with it if it doesn't get better."

Sitting up on the cot, I held her hand in mine. "I'm glad to hear that, Casey. Whatever happens, sweetie, happens. I'll still be right here."

"I know," she answered. "That's what makes it easier."

I climbed on the bed with her, and we cuddled until the morning nurse came in to check Casey's vitals and kicked me off the bed to do so. The doctor was not far behind the nurse, and one more CT scan later confirming the swelling had completely gone down, and we were well on our way to Casey being discharged. "I strongly recommend a follow up with your PCP and optometrist, Casey."

"I already made appointments," she said. "The nurse helped me call yesterday afternoon. I also have an appointment with the hematologist next week."

"Good. Keep up with him. I just need your signature saying I can send the results of your tests and surgery here today to your usual round of medical specialists." She nodded, signing where he indicated. "Alright. That should do it. You're free to go. Congratulations, both of you, on your upcoming nuptials."

I smiled. "Thank you," I said. "I couldn't be more blessed." And, it was true.

Casey dressed in the clothes I had brought back for her, a simple pair of grey yoga pants, a tee shirt, and a green zip up hoodie. It was not exactly cold out, but after she was discharged from the hospital, it usually took Casey a couple of days to warm up again, as if merely being in the building did something to her core body temperature.

I helped Casey sit on the couch in our living room. Navigating the subway had been a bit of a challenge, even if one of the parting gifts from the hospital had been a collapsible white-tipped cane. She had fumbled trying to keep hold of it and not jab it too hard into things getting out of the hospital such that she had finally handed the thing to me and clung to my arm. I collapsed it for her and told her to hang on to it in case we got separated.

"That officially sucked," Casey said with a small frown. "Thank God you were there. There's no way I would have been able to hear that stop otherwise."

I laughed. "It's not a big deal, sweetie. You'll get used to it." I kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too," she murmured.

My smile turned into a frown as I glanced to the bathroom door. "Um, how do you want to do the whole shower thing?" I asked. "We have to keep your face dry for the stitches."

"Would it be too much of me to ask you to help me run a bath?" she asked, her facial expression hopeful. It was almost cute how much she hated to ask for help and how vulnerable she felt when she had to ask me.

"Not at all. How about I spoil you for now and draw a bath for you?" She looked ready to protest, so I headed her off with a preemptive strike. "I know you said you want to learn everything without sight as soon as possible, but let me do this. I mean, it's really only one day that I get to marry the woman I love. Shut up and let me pamper you."

Casey laughed, nodding her acquiescence. I kissed her quickly on the lips before dashing into the bathroom and running water into the tub. I added some of her favorite bath salts and considered lighting the candles around the tub before deciding it unwise. Casey was still unsure of her surroundings, and I did not want her to accidentally burn herself.

Walking her around the apartment proved to not be too bad. Our experiments with blindfolds as an intimacy game had helped both of us with that. It had been both erotic at the time and useful. I let her hand slide from mine in the middle of the bathroom, and she moved to pull her shirt from her body. I put my fingers gently on her hands, not enough to stop her but enough to request. Her hands fell to her sides. "Alex?" she questioned, her voice barely a whisper.

I stepped close to her my fingers under her chin. She parted her lips for me, and I devoured them. The kiss was instantly deep and passionate and full of want. It was as though there were this thing about knowing that we were both still alive. At the end of the day, we were alive, and that was alright. I felt her hands slide over my body, all of the uncertainty of our journey home gone with the familiarity of my body against hers.

As I kissed her, I tugged at the tee, pushing it over her head, sliding it from her arms. It dropped to a puddle at her feet, her bra following shortly after. As my mouth and my fingers traveled downwards, her hands tangled in my hair. "Please, Alex," she mumbled, her words breathy and needy. She moaned when I licked each of her erect nipples, her back arching. I found a familiar surgical scar running up her sternum from an infection she had gotten as a child, and I ran my tongue over the slightly raised skin. Casey shuddered, the shiver turning into a growl as my mouth closed around her neck, sucking at the pulse point.

Her hand curled tight around my neck, the other hand racing over my back, arm, stomach, and chest as she could touch them. Still sucking at her neck, I pushed her pants over her buttocks and picked her up. For a moment, her legs wrapped around me, thought my mouth did not break contact. I could taste hospital on her, but I could taste the sweet pea and brown sugar Casey had taken a liking to underneath that. As I set her down on the bathroom counter, I pulled her pants completely off, her scent entirely too obvious, as if the wet yoga pants were not indication enough. I pulled her to the edge of the counter and pushed her legs apart. I hesitated for the barest of seconds, but her nodding and pulling at my hair and hands seemed permission enough to continue, and I drew my tongue through the middle of her folds.

"Oh, Alex," she moaned, her hands moving to my shoulders and gripping with a vice. I kept my tongue dancing across and inside of her sex, her breathing turning to panting to tiny whimpers.

"Please, Alex, please, please, please," she whispered repeatedly. She had long since gone, and I did not know if she actually knew what she was saying or not, but I could feel her orgasm against my fingers, buried inside of her. Her mouth hung open, and I abandoned her now sensitive clit to my thumb, my index and middle fingers still inside of her, and I kissed her, my free hand holding her head where I could kiss her. Her green eyes opened wide as she orgasmed hard the second time, her nails digging holes in the skin of my back.

Somehow, we both ended up tangled on the floor, her head on my chest as she twirled my hair in her fingers, my arms wrapped around her. "We should really get ready," I whispered. Liz was going to marry us after regular court hours so that we could take as long as we needed getting out of the hospital, but five o'clock would sneak up on us quickly.

Casey nodded her agreement. Leaning over me so that her hair tickled my face. She had closed her eyes, but a smile still wore across her face. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," I replied, pulling her down on top of me to kiss her.

She let me help her into the bath which was cooled to a luke warm temperature. I ran hot water to warm it up, and she kept moving her hands in and out of the water, cupping it to allow it to drain from her finger tips over her body. I marveled at the almost childlike fascination she had with the liquid. "This feels amazing," she whispered. "It's like velvet."

I laughed softly. The doctor had explained to us that the longer Casey's eyesight remained mostly absent, the more her other senses would start to kick in to cover the loss of vision. It was a survival mechanism for almost any animal that lost its eyesight. Picking up the wash cloth, I dragged it through the water before dragging it over her body. She gasped, her body stiffening. Quietly, I dragged the cloth across her chest and down her back dunking it in the water before repeating the path backwards.

"Oh, Alex," she breathed, "that's so soft."

I leaned over and kissed her, the smile still on my lips as I watched her enjoy this new found sensitivity. She returned the kiss, her wet fingers gliding over my face and neck. In the safe place of our shared apartment, her frightening world had become a carousel of fascination and exploration. It was beautiful to watch her smile, clearly, deeply feeling her environment in a way that she had never experienced sighted and in a way that I could not relate to.

I washed her, not because she needed the help but because it felt nice for both of us. She shuddered at the touch, and I got to play around with her more sensitive spots. As I carefully washed her hair to avoid getting the stitches wet, I grazed my fingers over her back and neck, causing the stir I was intending.

"Alex," she purred, her hand finding my cheek and pulling my face to hers. "I will never get enough of this." She kissed me. In a way, I understood. Everything was new and terrifying, but it was exciting, too. I could tell on the subway ride home that she had been tense and nervous, afraid that some unseen danger might lurk. But, in our home, where she knew the environment, and she knew the people, and she knew it was safe, she relaxed and opened up to the new experience like a flower. It was Casey's way. She never seemed to let life stop her for too long.

I took a shower while she relaxed in the tub knowing full well that if we shared a bath, we would be late to Liz's court room. We dressed. It was nothing incredibly fancy. We would both save those outfits for the day we spent in church. The day, we both wore a pair of comfortable slacks, mine grey and Casey's black. Casey wore a pale green button down blouse, neatly tucked in to her pants, and I wore a red top with a grey jacket. Casey asked me to help her with her hair, and I straightened it, always amazed at the little curls that would spring up, that I would forget were there because she was so meticulous about straightening it. After a little bit of shameless guilt tripping on my part, she let me curl a few clusters here and there. Really, she could have shown up in a bathrobe with her hair in a ponytail, and I would have still thought her gorgeous, but as I stood there and looked her over, I was floored.

She laughed at me when I stopped moving, staring at her. "What's wrong?" she asked. "I can hear you, you know. Your breathing changed."

"Yea," I said, the syllable thick with lust. I bit my lip, fighting for that Cabot control that had been taught and taught and taught to my younger self. "You look amazing, Casey." At least that was said with a more normal tone.

She stepped forward, her arms wrapping around my waist, forehead pressed to me. I could smell her perfume and the way it commingled with mine. It was familiar and safe and warm, like hot chocolate and a roaring fire place in the middle of a winter storm. I could see how the scent hit her, too, feel her sharp intake of breath against my own chest as her fingers danced over my face and hair, down my neck and across my body. She felt her way gently down my arms to my fingertips, bringing my hands to her face, kissing my fingers. "You look amazing, too," she finally murmured. "I'm so lucky."

"Me, too," I replied as she slid her arms around my neck and kissed me. I could never get enough of kissing Casey Novak. Fortunately, I had a feeling that the next few weeks would be filled with shared kisses.

Olivia knocked on the door promptly at five, and I opened the door to find her wearing a very sharp looking suit. How she did not bat for my team, I was not certain. There had been bets going on since before I was a part of SVU in regards to how and when she would come out. While I had never participated, I had always wondered. But, she was one of those straight but not narrow allies, and Casey and I had long appreciated her supportive nature.

"Don't you look dashing," I teased.

"Hey, if I'm going to be your driver for the evening, I better look sharp," she teased, though I could still see the badge and gun hanging off her hip. I had been planning on hiring a car, but Olivia had made the offer when I had talked to her the night before.

I slid into the hall with Olivia, shutting the door gently behind me. "Thank you," I whispered. "You really didn't have to."

"Yes, I did. We did. You should see what Fin and Liz did in the court room. It's not much, but -"

I smiled. "You guys are amazing."

"How's she doing?" Olivia asked, her whisper dropping even lower. Casey had been so reluctant to tell Olivia and the other detectives about her medical problems. Olivia had found out after the whole hospital incident. After that, Casey had found explaining it to the other detectives to be rather unburdening.

I bit my lip. "She says she can see shades of grey, no real shapes and stuff. But, her other senses are starting to pick up the slack. It's been three days since the surgery. It's pretty unlikely her full vision will return, there was damage to her ocular nerves. But, some vision may be possible. Who knows, maybe she'll just need glasses like me."

Olivia smiled. "I'm still pretty certain your glasses are fake," she said, pretending to go for the ones resting on my face.

I stepped back, shaking my head. "Oh, no. You'll need a warrant for these," I teased, stepping back inside.

"Ready, Casey?" I asked of the woman who had moved to the arm of the couch, her head tipped as though she were listening to things I could not hear.

"To be married? Yes. God, yes," she answered, a broad grin sliding over her face. She slid her arm in mine, an uncharacteristic bag at her side. I knew her newest piece of medical equipment was in there. Likely, that and her wallet were everything, but the large bag hid the cane.

We walked at a slower than normal pace, but Olivia never once reacted to it, nor did she make it obvious we were going slow. Casey rested her head against my shoulder as we walked out to the car, Olivia opening doors for us. It was comical but sweet, and I appreciated my friends so much for everything they did.

I helped Casey slide into the car, kissing her nose before closing the door. Olivia just flashed me a grin. "You two are ridiculously cute," she said.

"Tell anyone, and I'll deny it," I quipped. My face softened as I hugged her. "But, seriously, thank you for all of this. It means so much to me."

"That's what you have friends for, Alex," she said. "I'm so happy for you both. I've seen the way being with her makes you so happy these past months. Even before you two told us about the relationship, we knew something had to be going on. You had a different air about you, and it seemed happier and more alive. I haven't seen you like that since before you were shot, Alex. And, even then, you were nothing like this. Love looks good on you."

"Thank you," I said. In the past two years, I really had mellowed out. My work in the civil law sector told me I could still be cut throat and vicious, but Casey had mellowed me out everywhere else. I liked who I had become, and I would be a liar to think that Casey did not play a massive role in that for me.

I climbed in the back with Casey, happy that our chatter was more typical of the three of us as Olivia drove us to the court house in one of the police department's undercover units. I was impressed that she had been allowed to check one out considering that she had an unmarked unit assigned to her. Nevertheless, I appreciated the fact that she had chosen a more roomy SUV over the tinier Crown Victoria.

Casey lay against me as we talked about the new detectives, Olivia's promotion, and an Irish detective that Olivia had decided she loved to hate and hated to love. We talked about upcoming annual events in the city, and Olivia asked if I had paraded Casey around any galas yet. I admitted to wanting to avoid that scene, not because of Casey but because I had never really liked it to begin with. Casey did pipe up about my swing improving in softball, and Olivia teased me about playing sports and owning basketball shorts. We talked about everything but two things – Casey's vision and our marriage.

When Olivia pulled up at the court house, Fin was standing there waiting with Elliot Stabler, John Munch, Amanda Rollins, and Nick Amaro, all five detectives dressed in their best. "I know you just asked Fin and I to witness, but these guys would not leave us alone about it. Besides, I think you would really break El's heart if you got married without him there."

Elliot had vanished from the squad shortly after his retirement. He had sent no word, but that seemed to be the MO for people who left SVU. It took him a while, but he came around to Olivia in short bursts, and it was Casey who had reached out to him after she left the District Attorney. It turned out Elliot and his family attended Saint Michael's on Sundays, and we saw them there for a few minutes when we went. I hoped to God he had not told Olivia that he knew about Casey and I before she did. I had heard enough of it when she realized Fin had known before hand. She would skin me if she thought Elliot had known before her.

"I hope it's okay."

"It's everyone," I told Casey, "all the detectives, anyway."

Casey smiled. "Really? That's amazing. I guess, I never really thought about how important everyone in the squad was to me, you know? I'm really grateful that they all came out today." Her face faltered and fell. "Uh, do they know?"

Olivia nodded.

"Yes, sweetie," I said, my hand covering hers. "But, you know what, they didn't go anywhere, either. Hell, they showed up without us asking. You're never going to be alone in all of this. And, just think, after today, there is no where I can go."

She laughed, leaning forward as she kissed me.

A knock on the window startled her, and she looked toward the sound as Elliot opened the door. "Come on, you two," he teased. "Judge Donnelly is waiting, and you can make out later." He paused, shaking his head. "Jeez, I feel like I'm talking to one of the girls."

I smiled. Elliot was not that much older than I was, but he was more than ten years Casey's senior. I watched as Elliot carefully helped Casey out of the car, looking her over. "Wow, Novak. You look, well, damn. Pity I'm already married or Alex might have a little competition."

Casey smiled wryly. "Sorry, Stabler," she said, "I don't bat for that team at all."

"Team Novak," I said, holding up my hand as Elliot looked to me. I caught Olivia's eye, and I pressed a finger to my lips. I had one secret I did not want shared right then.

Liz met us outside of the court room. "Actually, with permission," she said, "I was hoping to do the ceremonies in the court yard around back. It's a little more private now that everyone else has gone home for the day." She gave me a brief wink.

Casey nodded. "Alright," she said, but I heard a note of suspicion in her voice.

"I'm not doing the whole have and to hold thing, right?" Liz teased, but I noticed she had disregarded her robes for a black dress and shawl. I appreciated that everyone had dressed formally, as if it were a formal wedding as opposed to just a legal thing.

I shook my head. "No. Father Pat will have us doing that. This is just – this is just because neither of us is patient enough to wait another six weeks."

Liz laughed. "Alright."

We followed Liz through the court house to the private court yard out the back doors. I had loved that place as a young attorney to clear my thoughts after a busy day. And, I knew Casey was familiar with it, too. She had gone there after I had reamed through her for something early on, when I still did not know her the way I knew her. And, I thought about second chances, especially the one I got from her.

Visually, the detectives had turned the small space into a stunning little number. Wild flowers sat in bouquets under the stone benches with ribbons hung along the wall and by the tree. Pine and flower scented candles flickered on the benches and in nooks along the wall where no one could trip over them or accidentally catch something afire.

"It smells like fall," Casey whispered to me.

"It's beautiful," I remarked. Casey nodded her agreement. "You guys are amazing. More than amazing."

Casey smiled, head tilted as she listened to the wind in the trees. I reached over and pushed a stray tear from her cheek. "This really is beautiful," she whispered. "I wish I could see it."

For the next ten minutes, I described everything I was seeing, using points of reference that were familiar to her. I told her about the colors, and the candles that she could smell, and the way the light reflected off the trees as the sun prepared to descend. She just grinned and cried through it all as I walked her to the wall, her hand in mine as I grazed it over the ribbon and to the benches where she picked up a bouquet of wild flowers, pressing the petals between her fingers. She replied back to me with the textures she felt and the sounds she heard, some of which, I could tell made our companions stop to strain to listen. A couple of times, I even caught one of them reaching out to touch something that Casey was describing or touching. It was eerie and moving at the same time.

Finally, Casey's fingers rested on my face. "I can see it," she said. "In my head, it's perfect."

I smiled. "Good," I said. "I'm glad." I glanced at every one else to see if they were in a rush or getting fidgety. Not a single one seemed annoyed. I knew he would deny it later, but I swore I saw tears pooling in Fin's eyes. I thought, Casey really does something to all of us. And, when she was not being a kick ass prosecutor, she was like magic. But, then again, I loved her. Maybe I was biased.