Madge's interview is today, and I'm so nervous. She's going to be announcing to the world that she's pregnant, and I don't know how I feel about it. At all. Even though no one's going to know that I'm the father, it still terrifies me because then the Gamemakers will have something to use against her.
I can tell that she's fidgety about it too. The entire morning before she has to start getting ready she can't sit still and she's disappeared at least thirty times to go pee. Madge told me in an undertone that the baby's causing that and I smiled.
Despite being in the worst situation, I still find happiness for the fact the our baby is growing inside of her. Around the time that Madge and Haymitch are pulled away to get ready, I start to ponder what the baby could look like. Madge thinks that it's going to have my skin color and brown hair, but I hope that it looks like her. I want a girl, purely because there aren't enough girls in my family. Madge is nearly positive that it'll be a boy, though. Why she's so certain, I don't have a clue. I know that she's telling the world that she's expecting a boy, so I wonder how that will go.
Honestly, I just can't wait to see the baby. Madge is only a few weeks along, and I know that something could happen between now and when nine months is up, but I don't want to think about that. I want to be able to hold the baby and see Madge smile.
Only problem is Snow. And my mother. Come to think of it, my mother is probably the biggest problem here. She's going to kill me when we get back, because she'll know that the baby is mine. Granted, Snow is a huge problem, but my mother will skin me and put me on a stake before Snow even gets close to me.
That thought makes me shudder.
Madge isn't the first girl I've been with. Sure, I haven't been in love with any other girl, but I've been with other girls like I am with Madge. She's the only one I've gotten pregnant, though. I do feel bad about it, because I've basically put her life on hold, but the fact that I'm going to have a family... the thought makes me so happy.
Portia comes out at about 6 to get me ready. She gives me a suit and sends me on my way. When I'm finished, she fixes my hair and makes me look presentable. I haven't sleep very well since we got here. Portia knows that Madge is announcing to the world that she's pregnant, and Portia knows that I'm the father. I'm nervous, and she can tell.
"Stop worrying. Everything is going to be fine."
"Yeah. Everything's gonna be fine." I repeat that to myself the entire walk to where I'm sitting.
Once down there, I'm lead to my seat and I'm discouraged to find that Johanna is sitting next to me.
"Well well well Panem's finest bachelor has arrived."
I roll my eyes and sit down, ignoring the screaming from the women around me. "Funny, Jo." She cackles and looks up at the stage.
"Boy am I glad I'm not up in that mess." She tips her head at the stage where Victors are getting situated behind the curtain. They have it set up so the curtain is shadow oriented, and we can only see the Victors shadow as they're lead to their seats. It's actually kinda cool, I'll admit. I know which one is Madge partly because she's second to last, and because I know her body.
About twenty minutes later, Caesar appears from behind the curtain and the crowd goes wild. All of the non-participating Victors sit uncomfortably in their seats.
He starts off by cracking some jokes, and then gets the ball rolling by calling up Cashmere, from District one.
About halfway through the interviews, I start to notice a pattern. Everyone has questioned the validity of the Quell. Everyone is trying to make the crowd feel bad, and it's definitely working. There are people crying all over the place.
Johanna, next to me, mutters, "this is shit. They were all guaranteed a life of peace and what is this? They're trying to be killed again. Fuck that. And fuck everyone that had anything to do with it." I laugh out loud and have to bite my tongue when a big guy from 1 looks at me.
After what seems like hours, and I know it has been, Madge is called. Immediately, my breath knocked out of my lungs. She renders me physically unable to breathe. She looks incredible. It's not even what she's wearing that makes her look amazing, it's the fact that she has that glow. She has the glow that mothers get during the early weeks of their pregnancy. God damn she looks so perfect. Her hair's down her back in beautiful ringlets that I can't wait to run my hands through.
The crowd falls into a hush as Madge basically floats to the seat next to Caesar. She's in some dress that's pushing her breasts out of it, but other than that, she's covered. It's not too tight in her stomach area, and for that I'm grateful. It doesn't show anything off, even if you can't really tell she's pregnant. The skirt part is flowy and covered in diamonds that twinkle whenever she moves. It's white and it's beautiful and it makes me sad because it reminds me of a wedding dress.
I swallow thickly as she slowly sits gingerly in her seat and Caesar gives her a warm smile. I scan the smile and quickly realize that it's the fakest thing I've ever seen. Her eyes catch mine, most likely because we're in the front row, and a more real smile graces her lovely face.
Madge starts twirling with the few strands of hair that are down her back and I know that she's nervous. Her foot is tapping on the marble under her feet.
"Well, Madge, first off may I see you look wonderful." A soft smile appears, "am I right, folks?"
The crowd cheers and I hear so many catcalls and it makes my blood boil. "Thank you, Caesar. Cinna is amazing." She's already getting emotional. I mean, I know that it's just for the crowd, but I know that when she starts talking about Peanut, the emotions will be real.
Caesar smiles, "this must be a hard night for you, Madge. You only won two years ago, and now you have a shot at the ultimate title: the Victor of the Victors. Feel good about that?"
Madge forces a laugh. "It sounds amazing, Caesar. But that's not on my top priority list." His brows furrow.
"What do you mean? Surely winning again would be amazing."
"I'm sure it would be, Caesar, but in the recent weeks... something... something has come up." The crowd falls into a hush and I hunker down in my seat, preparing for the chaos that is bound to follow.
Caesar can sense the anxious energy from the crowd and Madge. "Madge? Is there something that you need to tell us?"
"I..." she takes a shivering breath, "a few days ago, I found out that... I'm expecting. I'm pregnant with a baby boy."
And with that the entire stadium blows up. Caesar desperately tries to contain the chaos but fails miserably. He sends Madge away quickly and I see her wipe off her face before she returns to her seat.
I don't even remember Haymitch's interview because the crowd was in shambles. You can hear screaming and crying and demands that the Quell is stopped. I can hear jeerings from the crowd that wonder who the father is. I keep my head down as we're all escorted from the stadium. Johanna comes up the behind me as we're shoved in the elevator. "Talk about a show stopper."
I force a laugh and wait impatiently to get off of the elevator and find Madge.
Once on my floor, I pace. And I pace. And I pace. Back and forth, across the floor until they return. When they do, Haymitch heaves a great sigh. "Quell's still on. The entire Capitol's against it, except for Snow." I nod and I watch Madge wipe her face as more tears well in her eyes. The sight almost makes me fall to my knees.
"I'm going to go bed." Madge says quietly, looking up at me with those watery blue eyes. I choke down the urge to cry; my chest constricts tightly. She's telling me too meet up at the roof.
Haymitch shakes my hand. "Get her out, Hawthorne. Don't worry about me. Get her out. Save one person."
"Haymitch, I," I start, shaking my head, "I couldn't do that, I can't,"
"Hawthorne," Haymitch growls, "trust me. Get her out. She's worth two people now. Literally." I swallow thickly and nod. I bid him goodnight and he staggers to his room. I wait a beat, and hurry up to the roof.
A few minutes later, Madge appears, still in that dress. "Goddamn," I murmur, tightening my hands around her waist, "you look so perfect, Madge." The tears in her eyes well again and that causes them to fall from mine. Her fingers bunch in my suit and she laughs weakly.
"Everyone kept guessing who the father was. They never once guessed it was you." I laugh a little and run my hands over her stomach. Just by looking, you can't tell that she's pregnant. But by feeling, you can tell. Just a little bit, but Peanut is definitely growing.
I pull her into the shadowed spot and kiss everywhere I can reach. Her neck, her lips, her collarbone, everywhere. "Gale," she pants, "take me to your room."
"What? They'll see us." I murmur against her neck. Her fingers tug on my dress pants.
"I don't care," she pulls me closer, "I want to spend my last night with you." When she whimpers against me when I press her against the wall, I have no willpower to disagree and we disappear into my room, together.
When we've finished, deep into the night, but hand runs over her stomach. Peanut. God, this is so hard. Saying goodbye. Not just to Madge, but to our baby. "Gale," Madge chokes at some point, "I'm so scared. I'm terrified." Her hands rest protectively on her stomach and I cover them with my large ones.
"I know," I know because I am too. I can feel the terror in my blood and the desperation that courses through me with every breath I take. "And I am too. I'm going to do everything I can to get you out. You and the baby."
"You can't promise that."
"Do you trust me?"
She nods. "I'm not going to let them hurt either of you." I drop my lips to her ear, and whisper, "I love you. So much. There's nothing and no one that can make me question how I feel about you." The whisper was for her and only her. Tears well in her eyes again and I brush them away. "Don't cry. Baby, don't cry."
"I love you too," she murmurs, running her hands over my cheeks, "I love you," she repeats, softer this time.
I nose into her collarbone and watch as my girlfriend drifts off to sleep. I don't sleep though. I memorize her curves and her body and the very small baby bump she has. I remember the freckles that are sprinkled across her cheeks and the soft gold hair that's fanned out behind her. I wish I could promise her safety. And a future with our baby. But I can't. I can't do anything to make this better. All I can do is love her. Both of them.
A/N: So, the world knows now and the Games are starting in the next chapter. I'm ending this story at chapter 30, so we're very very close to the end. I can't wait for the finale of these Games. This is probably riddled with tons of mistakes and I'm sorry but the Games are coming and I'm excited. Thoughts on the chapter/interviews/baby?