It's been forever I know

A/N: Ah, another chapter!! Hope you all enjoy it. A bit more cuteness for you guys, I hope it's not too OOC though. WE REACHED 3000 hits!! YAY!! I am sooo excited. Thank you guys soooo much. Although we're 4000 behind Surprise! You're a Mutant.

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content. I will warn you before so you can scroll over it, if you wish. I changed the rating people, check it twice.

Disclaimer: You know they're not mine, so why do I have to keep saying it?

Music for this chapter:

I'll Catch You – The Get Up Kids

Love Song – 311 cover

Chapter 24

Grief and Relief

"Loss leaves us empty - but learn not to close your heart and mind in grief. Allow life to replenish you. When sorrow comes it seems impossible - but new joys wait to fill the void."

-- Pam Brown

Mimi's hands were trembling in the pockets of her father's leather jacket. Her now, shoulder length black, wild hair was pulled up into a ponytail. Wearing and old pair of jeans and beat up sneakers the girl was comfortable. She took her right hand out of her pocket looking at the piece of paper. 'Jessica Davies, 920 West Houston St., Apartment number 62' written in Joanne's neat handwriting.

Her cell phone buzzed in her back pocket. Most likely Casey asking her if she had taken her medication, or maybe Raphael asking her if she needed anything. She took a step towards the building, feeling her legs tremble. She hadn't been back to the lair yet; she had just been released from the hospital yesterday. It was a seven o'clock yesterday she got a call from an unexpected person, she hadn't answered, just a voice mail.

'Hello, Mimi Jones? I heard you were just recently released from the hospital…Um, this is Jessica Davies, Roger's mother…He used to talk about you a lot, and I just was wondering if you've seen him…I'll leave my number, I'd love to hear from you.'

She really wasn't expecting that call, and she wasn't expecting to be here. Her friends would kill her if they knew. They would say it was too stressful and could cause an unwanted regression. Mimi had to do it though; she couldn't just leave this woman in the dark. She had to be the one to tell her, it's just how it had to be.

Walking up the stairs of the old building, her phone buzzed some more. She considered answering it. Just saying she went out on an errand and that she'd be home soon enough. No, she couldn't lie. She'd have to tell them the truth. No more lies. Mimi played with the dog tags around her neck and reached into her back pocket.

"Hello?"

"Mimi, April wants to know where you are." Angel said, "Along with the rest of us."

"Oh, well, I'm headin' to Roger's place, right now." Mimi said and wasn't shocked to hear a loud shriek of,

"WHAT?!" By more than one person, she hated speakerphone.

"His mom called me last night," Mimi said, "She deserves to know he's gone, and she deserves to know now." The tone in her voice made it very clear there was no changing her mind. There was some chatter,

"Raph says he'll meet you on the roof top when you're done." Angel said void of emotion.

"Right." Mimi said, "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

Mimi hung up, rolling her eyes, biting her lip in frustration. She didn't expect her friends to really understand what she was feeling, and she didn't need them to. As long as they left the subject alone and didn't try to convince her she had nothing to mourn over, she was fine with them not being able to understand.

She slowly descended up the stairs, watching the numbers pass her by. She was only in the forties, which meant she was going to the top floor. Mimi was still shaking, how do you tell someone their son is dead? And how would she explain how it happened?

Reaching the top step, Mimi looked down the hallways. One side was even numbers and the other was odd. Mimi was going to sixty-two, so she made a left. Passing apartment number sixty, she came to sixty-two. She hesitated to lift her hand and rap on the door softly.

"Hello."

A woman was behind her with a bag of groceries. She had the same colored hair as Roger, and the same sad smile. Though they had different eyes, and she was much shorter than him. Mimi took a deep breath and smiled at her nervously. She wasn't sure her vocal cords would work.

"Um, I'm Mimi Jones." Mimi said softly, "Sorry, I didn't call…I just got your message and thought I'd drop by."

"Oh!" The woman gave a happier smile and moved past her to open the door, "I'm so glad you got the message."

"Yeah." Mimi said exasperatedly.

"Please, come in."

Mimi obliged and walked in, she was flooded by Roger's scent. It was a brightly lit place, small, but comfortable. Family portraits on the wall, knick-knacks on nearly every surface. The kitchen was neat and tidy, as was the living room, and down the hallway she could see and open door to a messy room. Roger's room.

"Have a seat." The older woman said happily.

"Thank you, Mrs. Davies." She said and sat down on the farthest right of the floral printed couch.

"He talks about you a lot," She smiled sitting in a deep maroon recliner, "He was right though, you are gorgeous." Mimi smiled a bit,

"Thank you." She said a bit bashfully, and scratched at her head.

"What happened to your arm?" Asked the older woman, who was probably inquiring to her bruises as well.

"Oh, I was…mugged with a couple of friends at the warehouse the other day."

"Oh my goodness!" She said flabbergasted and Mimi frowned, "You were at the explosion?"

"Yeah." Mimi said breathlessly, here it went, "And um…so was Roger."

"What?"

"He…" She faltered, looking at her wringing hands in her lap, "He helped me and my friends along with my boyfriend and his brothers…" She sighed, "We're all…very grateful."

"Do you know where Roger is?"

Mimi sighed, and paused. She was fidgeting and felt her face heat up. She took in a shattered breath and willed herself to stop freaking out. She had to be calm, she had to tell this woman what happened to her son. Mimi's blue eyes raised up to meet Mrs. Davies'.

"There was…a sort of…group of kids at the warehouse, and they dragged me and my friends there…Um, Roger was with them…I don't know why though…" She lied, there was only so much she could tell this woman, "Roger got my friends out of the warehouse, along with my boyfriend," Mimi began, "My boyfriend's brothers came to get their other brother out, he was hurt pretty badly, and I got out…" She trailed off, "I think…" Mimi choked shaking her head, "I know Roger was still in the warehouse when the explosion happened." Mimi's voice was barely above a whisper.

Mimi had been through a lot of losses in her life, and she'd seen many people be told someone they loved is dead. She was there when her mother and brother found out her father was dead, but she was devastated herself. She'd seen the look on her Aunt's face in California when she found out her brother had died, she'd seen friends react to other friend's deaths and she'd seen many people lose lovers.

She'd never seen anyone who had lost a child before.

Jessica Davies' heartbreak was painfully visible on her face as the fact that her second son was also dead sunk in. The woman started trembling and sobbing immediately, falling out of the chair and onto her knees. Mimi began tearing up as well, and she wanted to move, to comfort this woman, but she couldn't, she was frozen in place. Mimi couldn't leave this woman alone, not like this. She moved toward the woman and placed a hand on her shoulder, the woman didn't even notice.

A man came in the room and kneeled down next to the two women. He was about the same age as Mrs. Davies, and Mimi figured he was neighbor. He looked at her with inquiring hazel eyes and Mrs. Davies began clinging to him, screaming that her babies were gone. Mimi opened her mouth to say something, but her vocal cords would not work.

"I think you should leave." He said and Mimi was already running out of the door.

The girl looked around looking for the roof access and found it on the other side of the hall. She took off running as fast as she could, just trying to get away from the awful sobs coming from apartment number sixty-two's open doors. Mimi burst through the door of the roof access and stopped just at the edge of the roof holding onto it as she fell to her knees, giving into her tears.

She'd said it several times before, and she'd say a thousand times more. This was all her fault. She'd destroyed another family, she'd broken another mother's heart. Not only that, Roger died with a broken heart, and that was her fault too. Roger died for her, he died because of her, and Mimi couldn't handle that. She apologized to no one in general, crying against the hot cement roof ledge.

Two strong hands pulled her to her feet and she was being crushed into a plastron. Raphael held Mimi tightly to him as she wrapped her hands around his neck crying onto his shoulder like she couldn't stop. Mimi apologized some more, Raph told her to 'Shut up and cry,' in the nicest way possible, and she obliged.

"I wanna go home." She cried.

"I'll take ya' to Case's." Raph said softly,

"No, I want to go home with you." She shook her head, and Raph nodded picking her up.

The sobbing had decreased as they descended into the sewers. Raph didn't say a thing, and neither did Mimi. Though he refused to let her walk, and she didn't put up much of a fight. She buried her face into the crook of his neck as her breathing was still short and faltering. She would give out a whimper and some more slick tears would escape her, but the worst had passed.

When they stepped into the lair, very few people noticed their entrance. Donatello was on the couch transfixed with some documentary, Joanne by his side just as interested. Angel had taken a keen interest in watching Leonardo train, so they were in the dojo. Mike and Maureen were chowing down on the left over pizza and fawning over some video game magazine. Splinter was most likely in the dojo with Leo and Angel, but they couldn't be sure.

"Whoa, is she okay?" Mikey asked and Raph gave him a very cold warning look.

"I think maybe we should just….go back to what we were doing." Maureen said with a nervous laugh.

Raphael carried the girl to his room, setting her on his bed. She plopped down trying not to sob some more. Her body was beginning to ache as well as her head, and her pain medication was at Casey and April's. She whimpered grabbing at her head, her cat ears flat on her head her tail wrapping around her waist. Raphael moved to leave and she sat up,

"W-where are you g-goin'?" Her speaking affected by her breathing.

"I'm gettin' ya' some pain killers, I'll be right back."

Raph traveled down the stairs where Leo and Angel were coming out of the dojo. Angel was smiling and Leo had an almost smug look on his face. Raph ignored their presence walking towards the kitchen and into the medicine cabinet, looking at every bottle closely. Mikey and Maureen looked at him and then turned back to their magazine.

"You pick up Mimi yet?" Leo asked moving to get some water.

"Yeah, she's upstairs." Raph said quietly and his brother frowned at him.

"Good, I need a pair of shoes she borrowed back…" Angel turned and Raph grunted,

"Leave her alone." Was all he said, and Angel stopped in her tracks.

"What's wrong with her?" Leo asked.

"I don't know yet, she just burst through the roof access door and started the water works." Raph grumbled, grabbing two pain pills and a bottle of water for his girlfriend.

He ignored any other conversation aimed at him and headed back up to his room. Mimi was staring at the ceiling blankly when he entered and he handed her the pills and the water. She swallowed the pills and half of the bottle of water. He sat on the bed next to her, and they sat in silence for a while.

"I've never…" Mimi began, "I've never seen someone so…heart broken and-and pained." She shook her head, "This is all my fault." She put her face in her hand.

"He knew what he was doin' this had nothin' to do with you." Raph said sternly.

"This had everythin' to do with me." Mimi shook her head, "I'm just a disaster."

Raphael laid Mimi down, not saying a word. He kissed her on the head softly, before laying with her. He put his hand on her hip, lifting her shirt a bit, grazing his fingers over the exposed flesh. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his and he met her kiss passionately. Actions always did speak louder than words with Raphael, and this was just proving it.

(A/N: This is a warning to the sensitive ones. Tangy, Lemony, goodness below.)

Mimi tugged on one of the pads on his elbow, pulling it off of his arm. Raph tugged off Mimi's jacket. She reached for the other elbow pad, kicking her shoes onto the floor. Before he could reach for more of her clothes, she stripped him of the rest of his pads, which was the closest thing to clothes he and his brothers had. Raph slid his hand into Mimi's black T-shirt, feeling her muscled stomach, her breath hitched at the contact. Tugging the black material over her head they separated from their lip lock.

Mimi was now laying on her side, like Raphael. He wrapped his arm around her, feeling the warm, soft skin of her back. Careful of her bruises he pressed them close together, and her leg slowly draped over his hip, her calf resting on the side of his shell. Raphael reached behind her, unhooking her bra and slowly pulling it off.

Raphael had always thought that clothes were a nuisance, and this was the perfect example. She still had two articles of clothing to be removed. Raph moved both hands down her sides, pulling him to her and squeezing her bum. She bit his lip intensifying the kiss as her body moved with the motion.

A soft noise escaped her as he ran his hand to her stomach, his fingers just under the waistband of her pants. Teasing her skin as he reached to unbutton the jeans, unzipping them just as quickly. She had to help him tug them off of her, making them break away yet again.

Their eyes met, both lidded and glazed in their arousal. Mimi raised her hands to the side of his neck, grazing her nails along the sensitive spot. Raph groaned shortly, his grip on her hips tightening just a bit. She kissed a trail from his lips to the area, and Raphael tipped his head giving her open access.

Raph groaned again as Mimi's tongue danced across his skin, a light bite making him grunt. His member had dropped and she dragged her hand down to caress it. His hand came to her chin lifting her head up so he could kiss her. She had to move her hand as his ran up her bare thigh, playing with the string of her panties.

He tugged them off without another word, and she could tell he was getting impatient. He wanted more, and now. Raph moved down sucking on Mimi's collarbone, nibbling at it making her gasp softly. His hands roamed over her skin, taking in the heat radiating off of her. Loving the reactions from the small sensitive spots on her body that no body else would ever get to see.

She reached for the ties of his mask, which was always the last thing she removed. There was something about it coming off that excited her. Like it was something he'd only let her do, but she wasn't sure of that, she just liked to think of it that way. Raph took Mimi's hair out of its ponytail before flipping them over.

They kissed chastely before making eye contact with each other. She gave him a small, comforting smile and one corner of his mouth upturned into a half smile. Raphael met her for another kiss before sliding into her smoothly. Both mutants groaned and broke free of each other's lips. Mimi's arms snaked around Raph's neck, pulling him closer to her as her head laid back. Raph buried his face into the crook of her neck, tasting the skin as their bodies rocked together.

They kept their voices down as much as they could, knowing full well everyone was awake in the lair. They both needed to be this close to each other, this relief, and they weren't letting anyone intrude. Bodies in sync and breathing intense, both went to the limit to ensure pure ecstasy for each other.

Mimi would run her fingers lightly over Raphael's neck, and then tantalizingly slowly drag her nails down, making him groan. Mimi's neck was covered in red bite marks and small hickeys, she was biting her lip trying not to moan aloud. The heat intensifying with every rock of their hips, bodies clashing together keeping them far away from the real world.

(A/N: I'm too chicken shit to go into further detail. Those afraid of TEH S3X0RZ may continue to read)

Here, there was only Raphael and Miranda.

Hearing that Raphael and Mimi had returned from Roger's rooftop, Joanne became concerned. Neither of the two were to be seen, and by the discussion Angel and Leo seemed to be having, something bad had happened. Again. Joanne felt a wave of stress, and dread come over her and she groaned. Donnie looked over curiously.

"Something wrong?" He asked.

"Something happened with Mimi and Raph." Joanne rubbed her temples.

"Again?" Donnie asked and Joanne nodded.

"I'm going to go check on them." Joanne stood,

"You might not want to do that." Donnie raised his eye ridges, "We can't hear them yelling, that could be a good sign to just leave them be."

"I'm just going to make sure they haven't killed each other." Joanne said kissing his cheek and standing to leave.

"Don't say I didn't warn you." Donnie sighed to himself.

Joanne made her way up the steps frowning. What could have possibly happened this time? Had Roger's mother freaked out on her? Had Raph finally thrown a fit about Mimi kissing Roger? And when did they come home? She hadn't even heard them come in. There were just so many questions that needed to be answered.

As Joanne walked toward the suspiciously quiet room, she began thinking she should have listened to Donnie. She stopped in front of the door raising her hand to knock, but she stopped when there was muffled sound from Mimi and listened in closely. She could faintly hear the sound of a bed creaking, and now that she listened, it was not as quiet as she thought.

"Oh my god." Joanne whispered feeling her face heat up.

The wolf mutant quickly turned and walked quickly. Mike and Maureen looked up at her return and smiled at each other as if they knew exactly why Joanne was blushing. Angel and Leo didn't seem to notice that she had left and were off the subject of Raph and Mimi. Joanne quietly sat right next Donatello again, still blushing. He looked over and tried to keep in his laughter.

"I cannot believe you let me do that." Joanne said and he laughed.

"I advised you not to." He said, "And it's not like I could…y'know, get up and stop you."

"I love them both, I really, really do." She said, "There are just some things I don't need to hear or imagine them doing."

"Mike and Maureen just finished the last of the left overs, so we're ordering more for everyone else." Leo said coming over, he looked at Joanne raising his eye ridges at her flustered state.

"Okay, sounds great." Don said looking totally amused, and Leo had the feeling he had missed something.

"Are you okay, Joe?"

"I'm great," Joanne looked up at him and Don snickered.

"Do I want to know?"

"No." The couple chimed and he let it be.

Raph and Mimi laid on their sides, basking in the afterglow. One of Raph's arms over her waist, while Mimi rested her head on his other upper arm as he put his hand on her upper back. Her hands glided over his arms, taking in the definition of the muscles. Mimi sniffed, lifting her other hand to rub her nose.

"You feel okay?" Raph asked softly and she nodded.

"I'm fine." She said, and felt her empty stomach make a demand for food, "Guess I could go for some pizza."

The couple moved slowly, Raph got up first, helping Mimi off the bed. The girl found her clothes thrown across the messy room and began dressing. Raph watched her, putting on his pads. She was wearing those jeans now, her hair against her back as she looked over her shoulder at him and smiled softly.

When you are in love, it's really the little things that count. Small things that the other person does, or says that just makes you smile and you feel like your hearts swelled up like a balloon. Moments like this make all the struggles, fights, and hard times worth it. Moments like this are the moments the matter. And for Raph, this was one of those moments.

Walking down the steps, Raph's arm around Mimi's shoulder. Mimi was looking considerably better, as the couple sat at the table. Mike and Maureen looked up and exchanged grins making the other two frown in confusion. Mike got up to help Don to the table as Leo and Angel walked in with pizza.

"Hey Joey." Mimi smiled softly, and the girl smiled back, but blushed. Don looked too amused and Mimi was slightly suspicious. "What?"

"Nothing." Joanne said simply, and Mimi looked to Don who shrugged.

"How did Roger's mom take the news?" Don asked softly.

"Um…" Mimi frowned a bit, "She elected we throw a garden party instead of havin' a funeral." Mimi said and then gave Don a look, "She reacted like any other mother would when she lost her kid."

"Right." Don coughed a bit awkwardly.

"How are you?" Angel asked and Mimi smiled a bit.

"I'm…fine." She nodded.

"Oh." Angel said, "Well, that's good."

The sun was setting, in New York City, but of course, the city was still awake and lively. Mimi looked at the sunset, before moving towards a very familiar place that she hadn't visited in a very long time. Roger's funeral ended a while ago, and Mimi sat with his mother by his grave. There was no body to bury, so in his casket were some special things in his life.

Jessica Davies hadn't said a word to Mimi when she saw her at the funeral. Mimi and Marcus sat toward the back of the chapel, holding hands. They were both silent the entire time. And when they buried Roger, or essence of him, Marcus only stayed for a moment before wandering off.

Mrs. Davies stared at the temporarily bare grave. In a long black skirt and a black silk shirt. Mimi sighed, looking down at her outfit. A short black skirt, black tights, a black t-shirt, her father's leather jacket and a pair of beat up Chuck Taylor's. Mimi shook her head, her wavy hair falling into her face. Mimi sat on the ground in front of the grave, and pulled the dog tags off of her neck and held them up.

"He gave them to me just before he died…" Mimi said, "My friend has the other ones, I could get those back to you too…if you want." There was a long pause and the woman sat next to her.

"If he gave them to the two of you, he wanted you to have them." She replied.

"Are you sure?" Mimi asked, and the woman nodded. Mimi put the chain back over her head, fixing her hair. "I know the last thing you want to hear right now is 'I'm sorry,' but I do owe you an apology."

"For what?" The woman asked blandly.

"It's my fault Roger's dead." The woman looked at her,

"I'm sure it's not." Mrs. Davies said, "Roger wasn't a child, he made his decisions for himself."

Mimi sighed walking through the familiar pathways. Heading to the farthest corner of the graveyard. It took her a while to get where she wanted, but when she did, she sat down in front of the two graves. Mimi never talked to her parent's graves she never saw the appeal in it. If she wanted to talk to something that couldn't respond she'd talk to a wall, or Don when he's working on something interesting.

A couple hours passed and soon Marcus was by her side. He had been staying at Casey and April's and Mimi had stayed the past few nights in the lair. The boy yawned, leaning his head on the girl's shoulder and closing his eyes. She looked over with a smile and then back at the graves.

"Thought I'd find you here." Casey said from behind her.

"Haven't been here in a while." She said and he stepped closer.

"Yeah, me either." Her older brother said, "How was the funeral?"

"Depressing." She said.

"Aren't they all?"

"Not mine." Mimi said, "Mine's gonna be a fatty party."

"If you say so." Casey laughed, "The pipsqueak asleep?"

"I think so." Mimi said.

"Well, wake him up, I'm starved."

"Hey, Marcus…" Mimi moved softly, ruffling the boy's hair.

"Hmmm?" Mumbled the boy blinking awake.

"Let's go grab somethin' to eat, man." She said helping him stand up.

"Okay." The boy yawned, and they started making their way out. "So when do I get to see where the guys live?"

"Oh, they're 'the guys' now instead of the 'freaks?'" Mimi teased.

"Well…yeah…I guess." Marcus mumbled a little embarrassed.

"Why do you wanna know where they live?" Case asked suspiciously.

"I was thinkin' maybe, I dunno…." Marcus shrugged still embarrassed, "They could teach me some moves or something…" Mimi chuckled wrapping her arm around the boys shoulders and pressing him against her side.

"Welcome to the family, pipsqueak."

A/N: So, how was my first ever posted lemon? Good, bad, so terrible I should be mauled? I love feedback!! Thanks to everyone reading. It makes me really very happy people like this so much.

-- Whispered Lies