Dinner was very silent with my parents. My dad cooked for us and decided he wanted the whole family to gather around and spend some quality time.
"How's grandma?" I asked.
"Abuela is.. we're hoping it'll be better. I don't know, honey" she said.
It was obvious that it was hard for my mother to speak about my grandmother being sick. Even though me and her weren't in the best place, I was worried. I didn't want to lose her, she was still a big part of my life. All the times she took care of me and all our memories weren't anything I could forget and throw out the window just because she had problems with who I was. Of course, I still wanted her to be a part of my life.. Especially now.
After another long moment of silence, I tried to find the courage to admit to my parents that I was dating Quinn. It would be easier. I thought that if all my friends knew - why not my parents too? I chewed on the little piece of chicken in my mouth and cleared my throat to get their attention.
"Mom, dad.. You know, um" I swallowed a lump in my throat "I have this friend - Quinn"
"And?" my dad looked up from his plate.
"We're, like.. She's my," I stopped and looked at my mom and then back at my dad, they looked like they were going to explode - maybe because it took me a long time to get to the point "she's more than that to me, you know, more than just a friend" I said.
They both looked at each other for a short while until their straight faces turned into smiles and they let out little laughs.
"We assumed" my mother said.
"It's not like we didn't suspect it - going out to meet a friend at 10pm, in the park, almost every night - not something that sounds very friendly" my father laughed.
"Some people do that, you know? It doesn't have to mean they're a couple"
"It's not like that in this case, though" my mother teased. "Look, honey," she took my hand "you know we let you date whoever you want. Do you like her a lot?"
"I love her"
"You love her?" my dad said. "That's big" a smile grew on his lips as he continued eating.
"I'm very happy to hear that.. Is she nice to you?"
"She's perfect, mom"
"Well, invite her here for dinner sometime. I'd love to meet her, so would your father" she smiled and continued eating as well.
It wasn't that horrible. I don't know why, but in my head that moment I expected it to be awful. I was happy that was over. Everyone knew and me and Quinn could just be together without worrying. Nothing could stand in our way.
When we were finished with dinner, I helped my parents with the dishes and cleaning up the kitchen and went to my room to get ready for my meeting with Quinn later. It took me less than twenty minutes to change into a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt. I let my hair out of the bun it was into and combed through it before borrowing my mothers keys and leaving. When I was finally done, I started driving. I reached the parking lot and there she was.
"I told my parents about us" I said to her as we reached the spot.
"Oh," she smiled "how did they react?"
"They were really cool about it" I said. We sat on the usual bench. Weirdly, it was always empty when we got to the same exact spot, it was faith that we were supposed to sit there.
"My parents wouldn't care if I had a girlfriend, though" she continued.
"Why not?"
"I don't know, they just wouldn't.. Or I think so, I never told them about any of my girlfriends"
"Do they know you're.. not straight?" I laughed.
"Yes" she said.
"Can't you tell me about how you told them?" I asked, smiling at her.
"It's not that interesting, really" she answered. The tied up hair was just like always - gorgeous, along with the hazel eyes that blinded me from the rest of the world. I gave her a little pout before she made up her mind. "Fine, fine.. I'll tell you" she smiled.
"Now that I know the pout works, I'll use it more often" I laughed. She smiled back and shook her head.
"Okay, so I was fifteen years old," she said "and I had gotten my first real crush. It was sophmore year.."
"It it someone I know?" I asked.
"Rachel" she said, looking right into my eyes. I nodded. "We were seated in the living room, just watching TV, you know? And I told them. I told them I had a crush on a girl and first my mom got a big upset, saying it was all just a phase," she laughed "well, look where the phase got me. My dad though, he was cool with it already from the start.. But it didn't take too long for my mom to be more accepting and now it's all good between us"
"Oh"
"See? Told you it was nothing special" she grinned. "What about your story?"
"Well, um - I was sixteen. The first one I told was my grandmother"
"And?" Quinn wondered.
"It went to hell. She hasn't talked to me in two years," I said "my parents were okay with it directly, though"
"Two years? Seriously?" she said, furrowed her eyebrows and her lips formed into thin lines.
"Yeah.. And it's more upsetting now than it ever was" I said.
"How come?"
"She's really sick and I'm just really scared to go visit her.. But I want to, like I really do. A lot"
"Santana, I think she'll let you visit her. I mean, if she's really sick I don't think she would reject you - her own granddaughter"
"You think?" I said.
"I know" she assured. "To not talk to you for two years just because you're being yourself - that's just plain stupid" she said. I responded with a nod. "I noticed something was wrong the moment we met earlier, I sensed you were upset about something. I hope you know now that you can always open up, I'll listen to whatever you have to say, Santana"
She reached for my hand and rubbed it. I looked up at her rigid face expression. It was alluring. I felt the grip over my hand tighten as she pressed it harder. It was like she knew exactly how upset I was and she knew the exact moves to make me feel better. I tried to understand how it was so easy for her to see through me, how she just by one look could tell how I felt. And how by just one single touch - she could convince me that the world was a good place - even when I deep inside knew it was far from good.
"Do you want to go somewhere else?" she said.
"Why?"
"I don't know, do you?"
"I'm fine here" I said.
"Look, I know it sucks with your grandma and everything.. I feel really bad, Santana. I wish I could do something"
"You can"
"I can?" she wondered.
"You can kiss me"
Seconds after that we were tangled up. Sharing the same breath, the same thoughts and feelings. Her hand brushed through my hair and she placed it on my cheek, cupping my face.
"Feeling any better?" she jokingly asked.
"Actually, yes" I smiled.
"I lost my grandpa last year" she said. "I know how you're feeling" she paused for a while. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you'll lose her.. I'm just telling you I understand how you feel"
"Yeah? Was it hard for you?"
"Of course it was. We weren't very close, me and him, but of course it was still hard to lose him.. It's not easy losing someone you love, family is important even though we sometimes act like it doesn't mean anything to us"
Her face began getting that dark look it always got when we were being serious or when we were having a deep talk. It was my favorite thing about her. She looked so dedicated - like nothing could disturb her when she was sitting there in front of me. I after while of staring her shook it off, looked away and took a deep breathe. Thinking about my grandmother ever passing away stressed me out. It pushed me even more into getting my shit together and try talking to her again. I decided to go with my parents next time they visited her at home. I would go and I would try to fix our relationship, re-create it and get my grandma back. I was afraid to think about it being too late, I didn't want to know it was possible that she could leave us.
"Are you excited about college?" I asked.
"I'm excited about the letter, I want to know if I've been accepted before getting excited about going there" she smiled at me. Probably happy that I changed the subject.
"You've got a point, I'm just so worried.." I said. "I know my grades weren't too bad, really. I just hope they see it too"
"I hope we get into the same college" she said, ignoring my anxiousness.
"Me too"
"I'll be so damn pissed if we don't get into the same university.. I really, really wish we do. I worry about it a lot, you know?" she confessed.
"Really?" I felt the corners of my mouth curve.
"Yeah, really. I can't even imagine how hard it would be to have to go to college without you" her face turned from smiling to an expression I couldn't put into words - she looked both worried and upset.
"Even if we don't get into the same school, Quinn it doesn't mean we'll never see each other"
"I know but," she sighed "it won't be the same thing. Like this, I can call you up anytime and ask you to meet me.. here. I can make sure you'll never get over me"
"You're afraid I'll get over you if we don't meet as often?" I asked.
"Yes, I really am" she assured.
"How about if I tell you I've never felt this obsessed and attached to someone in my whole life, Quinn. I could never just 'get over you'. I could never, I promise" I felt how my whole being got intense, how every move I made took a lot of energy because that meant I'd have to stop focusing on her for some seconds.
"I feel the same about you.. You know that"
"I know" I smiled at her. "I hope that convinced you. No one will ever replace you, no one can"
A smile as alluring as an angel showed and lit up my whole mood up to one hundred percent. I never thought Quinn would be worried about me getting over her. I always thought it would be the other way. I figured because she was the way she was, it would be that way. Honestly though, I wasn't worried about her getting over me. I felt like we were both too stuck on each other, too deep in to ever feel like we need someone new.
"You've never had a girlfriend?" she asked.
"No"
"Am I your first love?" she asked, her eyes eagerly watching me.
"Yes" I smiled.
"First kiss?" a little smile appeared with the squinted, wondering eyes.
"Sadly, no"
"Who was?" she asked.
"You'll laugh at this one"
"No, come on" she chuckled.
"Rachel" I said.
She became silent, it was like the world stopped for her. She squinched her eyes yet more and I tried to read her face. It was nothing. She didn't spill something by her face expression.
"Rachel? Rachel Berry?"
"Yes, Rachel Berry" I confirmed.
"My ex Rachel?" she asked again.
"Yes, Quinn. How many Rachel Berry's do you think I know?" I laughed.
"How come you've never told me about this before?" she asked, her whole mood was changed.
"I forgot about it"
"You forgot about it?," she snorted "you're bad at lying, you know"
"Does it matter, really? Why are you acting this way?" I asked.
"Does it matter that you kissed my ex? No, no. Of course not. It's not a big deal at all" the sarcasm in her voice was nothing that could be ignored. "When did it even happen?"
"Oh it was this time I went to the library, and I spotted you guys. Then you left and she was crying. I guess you broke up with her?" she nodded. "Yeah. Well, I went to comfort her because I mean, she was my friend. And then she just kissed me. It was nothing big. I pushed her off and got out of there"
"She just kissed you? What the hell" Quinn said.
"It was months ago, why are you being upset?" I asked.
"I just wished I could understand why"
"It doesn't matter, Quinn. You're what matters to me now" I said.
"So her kiss didn't make you feel anything?"
"If it did you wouldn't be the one before me now" I said.
She didn't respond in words. She took my face in her hands again and pushed hers closer, she took a long look into my eyes before doing what made my whole world shut down and see only her. She locked her lips with mine. The taste of chocolate came from Quinn's mouth. I guessed she had some after dinner. I smiled into the kiss when the taste hit me. Her hands were still holding my face, it began getting harder to control my thoughts as they started wander around my back and then to my thighs. Our lips crushed harder as Quinn pushed herself further forwards, it was getting unsteady, I had to hold my hand on the edge of the bench to be sure I wouldn't fall back. I fought hard to pull away because I was worried people were watching us. It was just so hard when my emotions begged me to keep going. I felt so fragile it felt like I could break in her arms, it made me feel weak when I was unable to push her off. Her hand moved and was placed right by my v-line. My chest felt like it exploded. Her tongue was so fluently massaging mine, it felt like they were one. I wanted her. I wanted her in a way I didn't expect I ever would in the park.
"Let's..," I managed to say as I got one second of space "wait" I said as she pulled away. The feeling of the kiss still lingered. "Let's stop.. We've become a live show to the people passing us" I quietly joked.
"I don't care" she smiled.
"You should care" I said and took one second to look away from her to see if someone was watching us - no one was.
"All I want right now is you"
"Quinn.." I nearly whispered, looking down at her hands that now were placed on my thighs again.
"Is everything okay?" she asked.
"Everything is great" her taste was still in my mouth. I felt like I had to ask her about the chocolate but I didn't though.
"Then why are you so sad all the sudden? Didn't you like the kiss?"
"It was perfect"
"What is it then? Please tell me"
"It's just that.. When you kiss me-"
"I know" she said.
"You know?"
"You don't have to say it"
"How do you know we're referring to the same thing?" I asked.
"Because I felt it too" she simply said. Her face, the a tad awkward body language and the slowly forming smile told me that we were talking about the same issue.
Thanks for reading guys. I really appreciate reviews, so tell me what you think!