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Chapter 25
When they got home, Tony forced Loki to watch a movie with him. In hope of cheering him up, he put on Ace Ventura. They snuggled up together on the couch, Loki pretty much lying on his genius, still upset. Loki did smile when it was funny, but that was all that showed any sign of happiness. When the movie ended, they went to bed. Loki fell asleep quickly in Tony's arms, his slow breath ghosting over the genius neck. It took a bit longer for Tony to fall asleep though, thinking about what had been said at the restaurant, how Loki had tried to hide his anger to then let it out on a dumpster and then break down in his arms. And all the genius could do was tell him a few words, words that he knew could mean nothing to Loki in that moment. He couldn't help him, he felt so useless. He was supposed to be able to do everything for him. The genius sighed and managed to get out of Loki's arms, feeling he needed air. Already having pajama pants on, he left the bedroom silently, and walked to the balcony.
The summer night breeze that welcomed the genius stressed body was welcoming since the days were a lot warmer in New York this time of year. The genius walked over to the railing and leaned his forearms on it, looking down at the streets that still showed a sign of life. The genius looked over to the digital watch on the window and chuckled when he noticed that it was almost midnight. Thinking back on the time when he would be locked up in the lab, tinkering on something until early morning when Pepper came and yelled at him for not taking care of him. When did he get this domestic? It was normal now to go to bed with the love of his life, not having sex for once, and falling asleep in each other's arms. But this time he didn't fall asleep. No, he still felt useless for not being able to make his boyfriend be happy. Of course, Loki was allowed to be sad or moody in general, but his job as a boyfriend was to make Loki happy again. Make him smile and laugh, not looking like he wants to crawl into a hole and die.
But it wasn't just the feeling of failing that kept him awake. The fact that what Loki had said was true made him angry, sad and confused. That woman that he liked and thought was the nicest woman in the world had hid from the public about her husband beating her children… for what? Was she afraid of him or just blinded with that much love for a beast? It really was the Beauty and the Beast there, wasn't it? She let Loki live a living hell for years and just took care of him when the monster was finished. She could have stopped it all. Let Loki live the life he deserved. He didn't deserve to live in fear of losing everything and everyone.
"Love, why aren't you sleeping?" A tired, silken voice was heard behind Tony. Lean arms wrapped around his waist and a head rested on his shoulder. "What is bothering you?" Loki asked his genius and stroked the muscled stomach.
"I'm fine." Lie. And he knew that Loki would hear that it was a lie.
Loki sighed. "I thought you wouldn't lie to me again." He stated, still sounding calm, but a bit hurt.
"I'm sorry. I… I just have a lot on my mind." Tony managed to say. He didn't want to burden his boyfriend with his shitty mind shit. The genius let his head hang forward, feeling shame and guilt.
Loki made him turn around, his hands going to his shoulders as the genius leaned on the railing instead. He didn't say anything, just looked into dark, brown eyes, looking at him with some kind of sadness. One hand went up to gently place on the billionaire's cheek, stroking the goatee slowly, gently and lovingly. It was like Loki knew that if he did all this, his genius would finally open up.
"I just want to be able to make you smile." Tony suddenly whispered, almost not hearable because of the traffic below them.
Loki gave him a confused look. "You always make me smile, love." He stated and moved so their bodies were almost touching.
"I couldn't tonight." Tony stated and looked down at the ground like a pouting child.
Loki leaned his forehead on his boyfriend's head and let out a tired sigh. "Tony, I'm just sad and fee awful. I didn't feel like smiling, I didn't deserve it, I noticed that you tried, but all you have to do is be there and hold me… that makes me happy as well, but it isn't showed that clearly… but know that I'm always happy when I'm with you." Loki told him, still stroking his genius goatee and feeling him breathe slowly, the genius hand's going up to rest on Loki's sides, going slowly up and down in soothing strokes. "You always make me happy." He said and made Tony look up at him and kissed him lovingly.
Tony let out a breath of relief and wrapped his arms around Loki, pulling him flushed against his body and leaned his head on his boyfriend's shoulder. "I love you, babe." Tony said and turned his head to plant a kiss on Loki's neck. They stood there for a few minutes, not having that much strength to pull away from each other. But in the end, Tony felt that he was finally tired, so he took Loki's hand and led him to bed where they fell asleep fairly quickly because of all the emotions, but this time Loki actually smiled because of the thought that Tony had made it his mission to make him smile.
Loki had made a decision when he woke up, wrapped in his genius arms and his boyfriend's breath roaming through his hair. He was going to go to Thor's place and apologize for what he had said at the dinner. But first he needed to smile to his boyfriend. So he got up, without waking Tony up as usual because he was a deep sleeper, especially when the genius slept close to him. He got to the kitchen and immediately set to work on making pancakes for his billionaire, and of course, putting on the coffee maker. He was just done with the last pancake when he felt strong arms around his waist and lips ghosting over his neck as the goatee scratched in a pleasant way over the sensitive skin.
"I love you so much." Tony whispered and his hands caressed his boyfriend's chest. Loki placed the pancake on the plate and then turned around in Tony's arms, a smile on his lips. It was actually a real smile. He thought it would be a fake smile. But seeing his genius made him smile, a genuine smile. The genius hand went up to Loki's face. "There it is." Tony said and his fingers lingered on Loki's smiling lips like it was the most precious thing in the entire world. "Your beautiful smile." It was told in a whisper and not really meant to be told, just stated to the world, silently.
Loki made a small chuckle, leaned forward and giving the love of his life the most loving kiss he could muster. When they parted, he kept his eyes closed for a minute, taking in his boyfriend with his other senses. How he smelt, how he felt and how the sound of his breathing would give the same affect like whale song. "I love you too, very much." He said and got another kiss. They ate their pancakes and then had a quickie on the kitchen island, again, then had another quickie in the shower. Yes, they were back to routine, it seemed.
"Why can't I go with you?" Tony whined and put on a pair of clean jeans, watching Loki stand by one of the shelves and trying to decide on which t-shirt he should wear.
"Because I want to do this alone, love." Loki said and settled for a marine blue t-shirt, it fitted with the black jeans he was wearing.
"That's the thing. I don't want you to be alone with him when you had a fight. I don't want him to hurt you." Tony walked over, shirtless, placing his hands on Loki's sides, looking at him with worried eyes.
Loki sighed and hanged his arms lazily on his genius naked shoulders. "It only happened once and it was a long time ago. I trust him not to lay a hand on me again and I need to apologies for my behaviour last night." Loki explained, one of his hands playing with the thick, brown hair.
"But he still done it and that gives me good reasons not to trust him." Tony said, his eyebrows drawn together in concern, enjoying the lean fingers in his hair. "At least, let me wait in the car or something?" It almost sounded like he was begging, his hands on the other's sides moved slowly and lovingly, leaning his forehead on Loki's chest, right under his chin.
Loki let out an annoyed sound, but couldn't help the smile. "Fine." He said and got a fierce kiss by the genius as a thank you.
Tony parked the car right in front of the modern building that was Thor's and Jane's new address and turned off the car. "If you don't text me in 15 minutes, I will come up there." Tony said determinedly, like it was no discussion about it.
Loki chuckled and gave his genius a soft kiss. "It will be fine." He said before stepping out of the car that was a bit out of place compared to the other family cars around it.
Loki walked into the building looking at the list of people living there and his eyes stopped at the two names that were familiar to him, Odinson/Foster. Soon to be Odinson went through Loki's mind as he walked over to the elevator and pressed the button. He realized that he hadn't really thought about what he should say, or how he should start. Should he start with the words 'I'm sorry', or start explaining why he reacted that way before saying 'sorry'?
The elevator arrived and he stepped in, pressing the level 5 button and then leaned on the wall, looking at himself in the mirror, noticing a love bite peeking out from under his V-neck tee. He muttered a bit of how obvious it was, but loved it anyway. The door opened and he walked into a small corridor with three white doors in front of him. He walked up to the one with his brother's name on and pressed the bell-button, then scolded himself that he didn't know if they even were home. But he didn't have to wait long because the door suddenly opened and reviled a stressed Thor in front of him.
"Brother?" Thor stated confused and tensed up for an expected fight.
"Hi, Thor." Loki started and suddenly felt nervous. He looked down at the floor, crossed his arms over his chest and one hand fumbling with the neckline, in hope of being able to hide the love bite. He took a deep breath and looked up again and locked eyes with sad, blue eyes. "I want to apologize for my behaviour last night. I went out of line and…"
"Brother, you don't have to." Thor cut him off and dragged him into a bone crushing hug. "I'm sorry. I should have been there, protecting you from Odin." Thor cried against Loki's shoulder.
Loki was shocked with how the roles had been reversed and slowly wrapped his arms around his big brother. Thor pulled away quickly and moved so Loki could get inside.
"Where's Jane?" Loki asked and looked around the nice looking apartment, filled with books, notes and a telescope stood on their balcony.
"She's at a meeting at work." Thor said and walked over to the open kitchen. "You want anything?" The big man asked and took a napkin to dry the remaining tears away.
"Ehm… I guess coffee would be nice." Loki said and picked up a book about advanced astronomy. "She took the job as a teacher?" He asked and looked through the book.
"Yes, and she seemed to enjoy it so far, but the semester hasn't started yet." Thor said as he prepared the coffee maker.
Loki chuckled and then placed the book back in place. "I'm planning on maybe lecturing." Loki admitted.
"Really?" Thor said and turned to look at his brother with a curious look.
"Yeah, I realized that it's kind of boring staying at home, trying to find ideas for a book. So, why not teach, I though." Loki said with a satisfied smile as he walked over to the shelves and noticed his first book and chuckled.
"Sounds good, brother. It would be good for you to meet more people… outside of Stark's connection, I mean?" Thor said carefully.
Loki had learned now that his brother only meant well and only took a deep breath to get the bitter thoughts to go away. "I know that the months spending with Tony have made me closed off to only his circles. But, yes, I'm ready to find my own connection." Loki said and turned back to look at his brother.
The bell suddenly ranged and Loki sighed. "Dammit, I forgot." He stated to himself and dragged a hand through his hair.
Thor walked over to the door, confused about Loki's mumbling. He opened the door and found an angry genius standing outside, the billionaire's shades where down, making him look a bit more intimidating than usual. "If you have hurt him, I will…"
"Love, I'm fine." Loki called out and sighed once again, but chuckled when he realized that his boyfriend was about to threat his brother with something.
"Please, Stark, come in." Thor said with a warm smile and stepped aside, letting the genius see his lover.
Tony let out a breath of relief and walked inside. He didn't know if it would be too tacky to walk up to Loki and kiss him senseless. So he stopped, halfway, and just smiled at him, letting him know that he is relieved to see him safe.
Loki chuckled and walked over to his genius, taking off his glasses and gave him a loving kiss. "You sounded really sexy." Loki purred and nibbled on one of the bows on Tony's sunglasses.
"So you want to do a round three in the car later?" Tony asked, placing one of his hands on Loki's chest and slid it slowly down to his abdomen.
Thor cleared his throat awkwardly, making the men smile wickedly as they looked over at the big blond man. "You want coffee, Stark?" He asked and took out two cups for his brother and him, waiting for the genius answer.
"Yes, please." Tony answered distractedly. The hand on Loki's abdomen went around the waist and pulled Loki in for another kiss when Thor turned around to poor the coffee into the three mugs. Loki chuckled when they parted and led his genius to the couch, sitting down with him close by his side. Tony looked around the apartment now that he wasn't busy making sure his boyfriend was safe. It looked modern, but not as modern as their home, books everywhere and he noticed his own designed Starktablet on the desk. He chuckled a little, getting a confused look from his boyfriend and he just shook his head and gave him another soft kiss. Thor came over and gave them their cups filled with coffee and milk. "So, I take it you have made up?" Tony asked and took a sip from the coffee, it was a bit weak, but o well.
Both the brothers got a little tense and it was silent for a minute, neither of them was sure if the other was fine. But Loki got tired of it and decided for them. "Yes, it will be fine." Loki said and smiled at his brother. Thor looked up and smiled like he had gotten a puppy for Christmas.
"That's great." Tony said and leaned back, feeling the tension leave the room for his relief and his hand going to stroke up and down Loki's arm.
When the genius hand was almost down to Loki's hand, he took it and entwined their fingers together. "So have you planned anything more on the wedding?" Loki asked with a smirk, making soothing circles with his thumb on the genius hand. Thor tried to hide the sad and stressed look in his eyes, but he had never been good on hiding his feelings from his brother. "Thor, what's wrong?" Loki asked, his eyebrows drawn together in concern.
"Odin got the news." Thor told them and dragged a hand through his long hair.
Loki tensed up and looked at his brother worriedly. "Something tells me that he didn't take it so well." He stated and let out a sigh.
Thor shook his head. "No, but probably not as awful as if it were you two." He stated and noticed how the billionaire looked at bit sad at that statement. "He threatened to disown me and ruin my life if I don't break it off with Jane." Thor told them with a hint of frustration and anger.
"I can't believe this man." Tony growled and got up from the couch. Was no one allowed to be happy for this man? Everyone around him was miserable and yet he kept on bringing hell to them all.
"Love." Loki said worriedly and stood up from the couch as well.
Tony looked over at Loki with the anger he tried to hide from him. "We need to stop him. He can't keep on ruining your lives like this." Tony stated with a low and stern voice.