Chapter 25

Hey guys. I know. I am so, so late on this one and I am very sorry. I haven't had my laptop working in a month and I recently moved and forget all my lame excuses. Go on a read the chapter you most definitely deserve for that ridiculously long hiatus. Thanks for sticking with me.

"Famine?" Dean repeats as Cas continues shoving his face.

"Yes," he replied with his mouth full.

"So, what, this whole town is just gonna eat, drink, and screw itself to death?" Sam yelled from the bathroom.

"We should stop it," Cas suggested.

"Yeah, that's a great idea. How?" Dean asked skeptically.

"How did you stop the last horseman you met?" he asked.

"We cut off his fingers," Addy answered robotically, "and his ring fell off with them. Everyone who was under the effect just kind of snapped out of it and we haven't seen War since."

"Does Famine have a ring?" Dean asked.

"I know he does," the angel said.

"So let's get going," Addy said simply, "The sooner we get going the less…well death."

Addy went over to the bathroom and gently opened to see Sam breathing heavily over the sink and trying to cool himself with a wet towel.

"You okay?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah," he said with a strained nod.

"Are you sure?" she asked warily.

He sighed, "No, Addy I'm… I think Famine is affecting me."

She frowned, "How? What are you craving?"

"I think you know," he replied with a sad look.

"I'm not…" she trailed off as her eyes widened in realization, "Demon blood."

He nodded, shame in his eyes.

"It's okay, Sam," she said gently, "We'll figure this out. It's not your fault."

"Guys let's roll," Dean called and she met Sam's eyes.

"Dean...I, um...I can't. I can't go," Sam said reluctantly.

"What do you mean?" Dean asked in confusion.

"I think it got to me, Dean. I think I'm hungry for it..." he trailed off.

"Hungry for what?" Dean asked.

"Demon blood, Dean," Addy said softly so Sam didn't have to, "We have to get him out of here."

"You got to beam him to, like, Montana. Anywhere but here," Dean pleaded to Cas.

"It won't work. He's already infected. The hunger is just gonna travel with him," Cas said.

"Cas there has to be something we can do?" Addy asked desperately.

"You go cut the bastard's fingers off," Sam said and they turned back to him.

"Sam we can't just-" Addy began, but Dean said, "You heard him."

"But before you go, you better lock me down but good," he said and Addy looked at him with sad eyes.

SUPERNATURAL

Addy refused to meet Sam's eyes as she cuffed his wrist to the sink.

"You gonna be okay?" she asked gently.

"Of course," he lied.

She me his eyes, "If I can't lie to you than you can't lie to me."

"Just go get him for me."

"We will," she said and gently kissed his forehead, "Hang in their Sasquatch."

"Addy watch out for Dean?" he asked with hopefully.

"Always," she replied and reluctantly stood up and left the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Cas blocked the door with a dresser.

"You ready?" Dean asked, noting Addy's far off look.

She nodded, "Let's get this son of a bitch."

SUPERNATURAL

Addy waited in the Impala with Dean as they staked out the hospital in silence.

"You still mad at me?" he asked to break the silence.

She frowned at him, "I was never mad at you. I just respected that you weren't ready to talk just yet."

"That's good," he said and they settled back into silence.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" he asked again and she rolled her eyes.

"Look at me," she ordered and when he did she gently pressed her lips to his in a slow, lingering kiss.

He looked at her with a smirk as she pulled away, "Good answer."

Castiel appeared in the backseat with another hamburger, "These make me...very happy."

"How many have you eaten?" Addy asked, glancing at him from the rearview mirror.

"I lost count. It's in the low hundreds, "he said nonchalantly and then looked to Dean, "What I don't understand is...where is your hunger, Dean?"

"Huh?" he asked in confusion.

"Well slowly but surely, everyone in this town is falling prey to Famine, but so far, you seem unaffected," Cas said, "Adriana is immune to the affects of the horsemen but the doesn't explain you."

Addy looked away as Dean said, "Hey, when I want to drink, I drink. Same goes for a sandwich or a fight."

"So...you're saying you're just well-adjusted?" Cas asked.

"God, no. I'm just well-fed, " he said and looked just in time to see a demon leaving the hospital with a briefcase, "Look there."

SUPERNATURAL

"Dean he's been in there too long," Addy said as they waited outside the restaurant in the car for Cas.

"We need to go in," he agreed.

They made their way through the back door, knives in hand. They make it to the kitchen to see bodies behind the counter.

"Cas," Dean whispers out.

"Where is he?" Addy asked him and they looked to see him crouched on the ground, devouring a pan of raw ground meat, "Cas, what are you-"

Before she could finish, demons grabbed them and hauled them away as they struggled furiously.

"Get your hands off me!" Addy growled as two of them dragged each of them to a pale, sickly man in a wheelchair. He smiled, showing off his sickening teeth. This was Famine.

"The next Lilith," he sneered and looked to Dean, "and the other Winchester."

"What did you do to Cas?" Dean demanded.

"You sicced your dog on me. I just threw him a steak," he said with a satisfied smile.

"So this is your big thing?" Addy asked as she fought against the demons, "Making people crazy for what they want. Kind of lame if you ask me. Your brother was cooler…until we cut off his magic ring of course."

He chuckled," Such a pretty face but it doesn't take much…hardly a push. Oh, America-all-you-can-eat, all the time. Consume, consume. A swarm of locusts in stretch pants. And yet, you're all still starving because hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul."

"It's funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from ours," Dean said and Addy grew panicked as something glazed over in his eyes.

"Lucifer has made you immune," he said, looking to Addy and then to Dean, "But yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?"

"Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character," Dean said with a smirk.

"I disagree," he said and wheeled himself closer to Dean.

"Get away from him!" Addy yelled, using her power to throw the demons off her in a moment of rage. She lunged for Famine, but he simply flipped her wrist and she went flying into a wall that dented beneath her impact. She fell to the ground with a groan.

"Addy!" Dean yelled after as she turned her head to him and then Famine put his hand to his chest.

"Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with love," he said with a sick laugh.

"Leave him alone," Addy said with a cough as her head pounded and the demons she'd thrown earlier yanked her up and brought her back over to Famine.

"Oh you must know, Adriana" Famine said to her as she slumped in pain, "Oh, he can smirk and joke and lie to his brother, lie to himself and even to you. You even lie to yourself about it, Adriana. But not to me! I can see inside him. I can see how broken he is, how defeated. He can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting for him while he just... keeps going through the motions."

"You're wrong. You don't know anything about him."

He laughed the same sickening laugh and looked to Dean, "You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already dead."

"Dean, he's a liar," Addy said through clenched teeth, "Don't you listen to him."

"That's right, Dean," Famine taunted, "Listen to the woman who despite her best efforts can't even love you."

"Let them go."

They all turned to see Sam, blood smeared on his face.

" Sam," Famine said as he turned his chair to him, "I see you got the snack I sent you."

"Sammy no!" Dean yelled.

"You sent?" Sam asked in confusion.

" Don't worry. You're not like everyone else. You'll never die from drinking too much. You're the exception that proves the rule. Just the way...Satan wanted you to be. So, " he said and lifted his arms in a sort of happy gesture towards his demons, "cut their throats. Have at them!"

"Sam don't listen to him!" Addy yelled.

"Please, be my guest," Famine said and Sam lifted his hands and pulled the demons from their host. They crumple around Addy and Dean.

"No," Sam said in defiance, lowering his hand.

"Well...Fine. If you don't want them...then I'll have them," the black smoke from the demons moves into Famines mouth.

Sam extended his hand towards Famine and he laughed, "I'm a Horseman, Sam. Your power doesn't work on me."

"You're right. But it will work on them," he said and he ripped the souls Famine had consumed from his frail body in a violent flash of black smoke.

When it's finally over Dean, Addy, and Castiel stare at Sam as his nose bleeds and his face is still covered in the blood of the demons he took it from.

SUPERNATURAL

Dean, Addy, and Cas listened to Sam's pleads and screams for help outside the panic room. Dean stood across from Addy as she stared down at the ground with glassy eyes.

"Let me out of here, please! Help!" Sam shrieks.

"That's not him in there, "Cas said, trying to comfort them, "Not really."

"I know," Dean said simply.

"Sam just has to get it out of his system. Then he'll be-" he continued, but Dean cut him off.

"Listen, I just, uh...I just need to get some air," he said and disappeared up the stairs.

"Adriana are you alright?" Cas asked and she looked up at him.

"Don't ask me things you already know the answer to," she whispered as Sam began screaming even louder and she covered her ears in a vain effort to block it out, "I can't do this again."

She fled up the stairs and took a deep shaky breath as she emerged into the kitchen and went outside to take deep breaths of fresh air.

It wasn't until she saw Dean's back to her near the Impala and heard him whispering in a small, broken voice, "Please...I can't...I need some help. Please?" that she stopped walking.

He turned to her and froze with teary eyes, "You heard that, huh?"

She nodded, not wanting to lie to him.

"So now you know," he said with an empty laugh, "I'm so desperate I'm asking God for help and he's MIA."

She stared at him with wet eyes.

"You know he's right," he said, running a hand over his face, "Famine was right. I thought I'd at least feel something…anything for you, but there was nothing there. Famine couldn't touch me because there's nothing inside me."

She still didn't say anything as tears flowed over her cheeks. He took one last look at her and then began walking away. When he passed her, she whispered, "You're wrong."

He scoffed, "You don't even believe what you're saying."

"I don't," she repeated in shock, "Because if I don't believe that than you do realize I have nothing to believe in right?"

"What are you-"

"Dean, you're my anchor right now," she said, still not looking at him, "Sam's in there going through the same hell we went through months ago and now just like then I wouldn't be to keep going without you. If it weren't for you there is no way in hell I could have bounced back from everything that's happened? I would have given up the minute I came back from the dead."

She heard him take a deep, shaky breath, "I can't keep this up, Addy. I don't know how much longer I can…"

"You don't know how much longer you can what?" she screamed at him, turning to look him in the eye as tears strained down her face and she finally broke, "Say no to Michael. Is that the help you're looking for, Dean? An angel who doesn't give a damn about anything short of destroying our world."

"What else am I supposed to do, Addy?" he asked, matching her volume, "I'm not strong enough. I can't keep this up. I'm dead inside. How am I supposed to save the whole damn planet like that."

She let out a bitter laugh, "You're not dead inside and you're not saving the planet by yourself! I'm right here! I've always been right here! You cannot give up! Do you understand me? You can't give up because if you give up than that means….it means I have to give up too."

"No, it doesn't," he said, shaking his head.

"Yes it does."

"Addy stop," he pleaded.

"Since we're just giving up I might as well just say yes to Lucifer right now, huh?"

"Addy stop!"

"I mean since we're on the losing side I should just go to him and tell him I'm ready to be his little bitch for the rest of eternity."

"Addy just stop!"

"But don't worry about it though. I'm sure Lucifer will be gentle with me when he feels like it."

"I said stop!" he roared and she didn't even flinch as his breath came out in ragged puffs of air. She'd gotten through to him and she'd struck a nerve. She knew her words hurt him but she couldn't afford to back down now. He had to listen to her.

Gently, she cupped her face in his hands and said," If you give up. I will do everything in my power to stop you. I would rather see the planet burn that you or Sam being possessed by those bastards. Hell, I would let myself burn myself if it meant you two were safe."

"That's crazy," he whispered.

She shook her head, "That's what you've done to me. You have a hold on me and I couldn't shake it even if I wanted to."

"I'm not strong enough, Addy," he said and she brushed his wet cheeks with her thumbs.

"Dean, the reason Famine couldn't touch you wasn't because you're not strong," she said and smiled, "It's because you're too strong."

"You really believe that, don't you?" he asked and she nodded, thinking he'd finally see her reason.

"Well, you're wrong," he replied and removed her hands as her face fell. They dropped to her side.

"No," she said simply.

"What do you mean no, Addy?"

"I mean after all the times you've put me back together I refuse to give up on you," she said through clenched teeth, "I refuse to let you lose faith in yourself."

"Who said I even had faith to begin with?" he asked brokenly.

"You were the only one of us who had faith," she screamed at him, "You started Team Free Will. You lead Team Free Will. You are Team Free Will! Even now I can't even begin to wrap my mind around this problem you have with yourself."

"Well you should be able to understand more than anyone princess," he spat, " I'm not the one who punishes myself by rejecting anything that could even begin to make me happy."

"Don't make this about me!" she screamed at him, "This isn't about me."

"We're talking right! Let's talk! You have a fucking wall in your head that won't let you to be completely happy."

"That's a lie and it's not what we're talking about."

"Is it, Addy?" he asked, staring her down, "Because you said it yourself. You know you could love me, but you refuse to and you want to know why? You're punishing yourself for some reason. You're not letting yourself be truly happy just like you haven't the whole time I've known you. So don't point the finger at me when you've got the same problem."

"I didn't let myself be happy," she repeated and then yelled, " What the hell did you think I was doing with your brother? I spent two years being happy with Sam. Two years loving him and believing he was it for me and that if I had him everything else would be okay. Look where that got me, Dean!"

"Now that…" he said with a scoff," That's a lie."

She frowned at him in confusion," What the hell are you talking about?"

"For two years you had one foot out the door," he said with no mercy," For two years you may have loved Sam sure but you kept him at arm's length so one day you could leave and never look back. I don't know about you, but that is not happy. That's an illusion."

She stared at him. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right," I was still happy."

"No," he said, shaking his head," You were scared because you won't ever completely be happy. You will always be scared and you hide it behind a giant wall of BS."

Anger flooded her and she laughed, a cold, humorless laugh," You want to talk about hiding, Dean? What about you? You laugh, make jokes, shake it all off and then you go and do it over again the next day. You can't fool me either. I may be scared, but hell I'll own up to it. You…you just keep it all in. You try to be everyone's hero when in reality you need someone to save you from yourself. And as for illusions. How about the one you put up that says you don't think of yourself as nothing? No one hates Dean Winchester more than he hates himself!"

"That's rich," he said with a hollow chuckle," because I could say the same damn thing about you. You know when I first say you I couldn't believe a pretty face like you was alone. Now I know why. It's because everyone around you has to work so damn hard to say there!"

"Oh and you and Sam are so healthy," she challenged.

"At least I have someone," he countered," At least I actually cared enough to hold on to something. You drop people like they're nothing, but I guess that's just the Dark in you."

She took a step back from him and he didn't look apologetic at all. His face was hard and now so was hers," You know I was wrong. There is someone who hates you hate yourself."

She tried to shove past him but he grabbed her by the arm as he laughed almost maniacally," You don't hate me."

"Get off me, Dean!" she yelled, beating at his chest, "I swear I'll-"

"You'll what?" he asked, holding her tightly despite her violent protest, " Hit me? Use your powers on me? Never talk to me again? In fact that last one might spare me pain because you are the most chaotic, self destructive, and insane woman in the world whose sole purpose is to drive me crazy!"

"If loving me is such a damn burden than stop!" she shrieked, finally shoving him away.

"I can't!" he yelled, "I have laid awake at night thinking how much easier it would be if I didn't love you, but no matter how hard I try nothing changes."

"Well figure out a way!"

"I don't care!" he growled and then he pulled her flush against him by her hips, " I said you drove me crazy. I didn't say I didn't like it."

All sane thoughts, if there were any, left her head.

Everything about this told her this was wrong. He was upset. She was upset. They were both a mess and this was their way of trying to forget what was going on around them.

Sam was going through withdrawl in the panic room. Dean was losing his will to fight. Addy's sanity was failing her and to top it off there was the apocalypse, Lucifer, and Michael to deal with. It was all right in front of them and it was their responsibility. Maybe it was time they forgot about it for a while.

Just like that all anger she had turned into lust.

With no protest, he collided his lips with hers, pulling her close. She tangled her hands in his hair.

They were both angry and it showed in the desperate, none too gentle touches they exchanged. She tugged at his hair and he bit her bottom lip. Not enough to hurt, but enough to make her gasp as their tongues began battling for dominance.

They walked back until he hit the hood of the Impala and she pulled off his overshirt, throwing it aside. He spun her around so she sat on the car, him standing between her legs as she used both her hands to keep herself up. He tore her shirt apart, revealing her bra clad chest as she arched towards him.

"God. you're crazy. You make me crazy,"

he growled, between their lips parting, "and I love it."

He delivered primal kisses down her neck to the valley between her breast making sure to leave his marks on the way.

"Bad idea," she said, the words she'd been chanting in her head, finally escaping her lips, "Really…bad…this..."

Her words were cut off by a hiss as his hands had trailed up her inner thigh and he gently teased the place she needed him most.

"Let's do a few more bad ideas," he whispered huskily in her ear as her shirt slipped down her shoulders.

"Are you two alright?"

They both turned to see Cas staring at them with a confused look.

"Fuck," Dean mumbled , stepping in front of Addy to shield her, "Yeah, we're fine, Cas. Just give us a second. We'll be back soon."

"When you did not return I thought I should check on you," he explained, cluelessly.

"We're fine, Cas," Addy said, hopping off the car and shooting him an embarrassed smile as she held her shirt closed, "Just give us a few minutes."

"As you wish," he said.

He turned back to her as she looked down at her feet.

"I guess we can add cock block to his rap sheet," he said and she chuckled, the tension thick.

She looked to him, "It was probably for the best."

"Yeah, you're right," he said and picked up his shirt from the ground, handing it to her, "You can wear this since I kind of-"

"Ripped my shirt off," she said with a smirk as she took it from him.

"And if Cas hadn't shown up," he began, stepping closer to her so he could search her eyes perfectly, "I would have done more…much more."

She bit her lip as he spoke, staring into his intense gaze.

"But it was a bad idea," he said, stepping back.

"Yeah," she agreed half heartedly, clearing her throat so her voice didn't come out so strained, "Bad idea."

"We should go," he said and she nodded furiously, attempting to clear her head, "Addy."

"Yeah," she replied.

"Shirt," he said with a smirk.

"Oh right," she said and put Dean's shirt over her own, buttoning it up. He stared at her intently and she caught his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"Are we good?" he asked and she knew what he was referring to. The fight they were about to resolve with angry sex. The fight that had revealed all their fears. The fight where they'd admitted all the doubts. The fight that she wanted to finish right now but was too much of a coward to do so because that meant facing everything at once and she couldn't do it.

"We'll always be good," she said with a small smile and then added carefully, "Are you good?"

"Uh, yeah, I think I just needed to get it out," he said, "What I said, I didn't mean-"

"Don't worry about it, Dean," she said and kissed his cheek, "Come inside when you're ready."

She left without another word and he watched her go but he didn't see was the tears falling from her eyes as she went back inside to be greeted with Sam's screams and her own fears.