A/N: Hey guys, it's me... back again. So uhm, as might have been quite evident from the last chapter I kind of backed myself into a corner with the plot of this story. It took me a lot of thinking about where I really wanted this to go plus some real life experience with relationships and life in general that I did not have when I first started writing this story. This next chapter is quite short, but I really hope it sets me on the right path to get out of said corner and actually continue this story.
As ever, thank you so much to all of you for your continued support of this story be it through reviews, favourites or follows. Also a special shoutout to x The Blue Writer x; your review today made me get my shit together and get this chapter out.
Now enough of my rambling and on with the story... Enjoy and let me know what you think! xxx
Hermione stumbled up the path to Hogwarts, Ginny on one side and Luna on the other. Professor McGonagall was just ahead of them and by the unpleasant tingle between her shoulder blades she was sure that Professor Cruz was right behind them. She was painfully aware of the fact that Severus had not returned to Hogwarts with them, having caught a last glance of his billowing cloak as he followed Harry and a member of the CWWWV down a corridor leading away from the atrium. Before they left, Harry had hugged her, holding her tight. "I don't know what's going on with you, or what's going on with you and Snape, but I promise you I'll do everything in my power to help sort out this whole mess, Hermione."
She had nodded, barely taking in his words, all the while meeting Severus's gaze over Harry's shoulder. The potions master's face had been pulled into his customary sneer, but his eyes told a very different story. They burnt into her with an intensity that would have frightened anyone else. She found it reassuring. Severus would fight for them. As would she.
Before she knew it they had reached the castle, Ginny's and Luna's comforting presences having been replaced by McGonagall's arm on her elbow guiding her gently up to the Headmistresses office.
Once they stepped off the spiral staircase and into the office itself, McGonagall ushered her to a set of comfortable chairs arranged around a small coffee table laden with sandwiches. The hearing must have run through lunch, not that she felt in any way hungry. Her nose was runny, a side effect of the many tears she had shed. Angrily, she wiped her nose, determined that she was done crying. She would figure this situation out, she had to. She was Hermione Granger, for Merlin's sake, and she wasn't going to let anyone make her life miserable any longer.
"Stop sniffling, Miss Granger and eat something.", Cruz demanded, thrusting a tissue at her. Hermione glared at her, ignoring the tissue and instead conjured her own. "Thank you, but I'm not hungry."
She glanced at McGonagall who was sitting next to her, arms crossed, lips pressed into a line as thin as Hermione hadn't seen in years, seemingly determined not to interfere in the situation.
"As your guardian, I expect you to start taking proper care of yourself and that includes eating regularly. We have many things to discuss with regards to your current situation, but I will not speak of it on an empty stomach."
In a gesture that she must have thought was encouraging, Cruz took a sandwich and began eating with gusto. Hermione glanced at McGonagall again, reminded of all the times her former Head of House had stood up against Umbridge and wondering why she was not doing the same now. Was she really that indifferent? Their eyes met and to her surprise she found that what she had earlier thought to be forced neutrality was really cold fury. Suddenly determined to get this whole spectacle over with so she might try and catch McGonagall on her own, Hermione picked out a cheese sandwich and took a bite. Cruz gave her a sickening smile. "See, I knew you must be hungry. It's important to keep your energy up, especially with all that NEWT study you have to do." But Hermione's mouth felt suddenly dry, the sandwich like ash in her mouth and as she tried to force herself to swallow another bite her stomach turned. There was a ringing in her ears (don't be sick, don't be sick) and as she looked up to see the smug look on Cruz' face she was violently ill into the bucket that suddenly appeared before her. She was dimly aware of McGonagall holding back her hair and then a spark of her own magic as Cruz was about to come over and comfort her.
"I think it might be best if I take her to the Hospital Wing, Itana.", McGonagall said stiffly, pressing a glass of water into Hermione's hand which she accepted gratefully.
"As her guardian it is only appropriate I take her myself.", the DADA professor insisted.
"I'm afraid I must insist.", and before she knew it she was being whisked out of the room, leaving a fuming Itana Cruz to follow.
"I am her guardian, I insist that you let me see her!"
"With all due respect, the paper work hasn't even come through yet. She is my patient and I will decide when she is ready for visitors. The girl needs rest. And before you start going on about her eating habits again, I have given her a nourishment potion, which should help get her back on track."
Hermione listened to Cruz argue with Madam Pomfrey through the curtains, pretending to be asleep. She had dozed off for a while, curtesy to the calming draught she had been given, but now she was wide awake and beginning to feel anxious.
"I expect you to let me know the instant she is well enough to see me!", Cruz huffed. There were loud steps and then a bang of the door as her guardian left the room.
The curtains opened to show a frowning Madam Pomfrey stepping towards her. "Slamming doors… This is a hospital wing…", she muttered while casting a diagnostic spell on Hermione.
"As much as I hate to admit it, Professor Cruz is right in trying to get you to eat more, Miss Granger.", the matron admonished, turning away from the spell results and towards her patient. "You will continue to take the nourishment potion along with some light meals to get your body used to more regular meals again. I'm aware that you have been through a lot, especially today, but it is becoming clear that you are not providing your body the food it needs." Noticing the grim look on the young witches face, the matron sighed. "I know you do not want to hear this speech again, but maybe it will have more effect coming from me than from your dear guardian." She shook her head in disapproval. "You need rest, dear, so I am going to keep you here and make sure you are back on your feet fully before I let you deal with that woman. Your friends have brought you some books, so try to take the time to relax."
Hermione nodded and smiled weakly, but gratefully at Madam Pomfrey. "Thank you, Madam Pomfrey, that means a lot."
The matron smiled at her and handed her another nourishing potion. "That's quite alright, dear, you just try to get better now." And with that she bustled off, her usual severe demeanour returning as she went to deal with a first year Ravenclaw who had had an unfortunate incident trying out a charm much beyond her current abilities.
Left alone, her thoughts drifted inevitably to Severus. She wondered where he was, what had happened at the Ministry after she left and if Harry had been able to help in any way. To distract herself, she picked up one of the books that had been left for her and began reading, occasionally scratching the ever present itch in her scar.
The young witch woke screaming from a nightmare so terrible, she never wanted to remember it. She was trembling, her whole body aching, her eyes swollen as she must have been crying in her sleep. Gasping for air, she held on to her arm, realising that her scar was pounding painfully. Without even thinking about it she slid out of bed, put on the robe on the chair next to her bed and made for the door. She needed to get out of here, get away, run until she could leave this nightmare behind.
Some part of her was vaguely surprised that Madam Pomfrey had not been woken by her scream, but she wasn't actually sure where the mediwitch's rooms were. In a haze of pain and memories, she stumbled down stairways and through hidden passageways, walking blindly as the pain in her arm got ever stronger until she realised she had inadvertently ended up outside of the potions classroom. Shaking, she continued down the corridor and to Severus's office door, banging on it desperately, half expecting him to open the door and snap at her for being out in the middle of the night. She felt her magic flare with her desperation and the door swung open to reveal an empty office. Would she be able to enter his chambers? Could she seek refuge there, behind his wards, where Cruz couldn't find her? But the door that usually connected the office to his chambers did not appear to be there tonight. Pressing her hand against the wall she sank to the floor, trying to breathe deeply, trying not to cry any more. Her arm felt like it was on fire now, her magic surging as if it was searching for something - someone - as she knelt on the cold stone floor.
It was McGonagall who found her hours later, shivering and curled into herself, still clutching her arm and half asleep. She wrapped her in a quickly conjured tartan blanket and levitated the young witch back up to the hospital wing, pondering how this powerful, confident young witch could look so fragile.
Thanks to her escapade to the dungeons, Hermione ended up spending another couple of days in the Hospital Wing with a nasty fever. Later, she'd say that it was her body's way of giving her mind the rest it needed before the ordeals yet to come.
She drifted in and out of sleep, sometimes woken by the itching or pounding pain in her arm and sometimes by the voice of Professor Cruz, demanding to see her and berating Madame Pomfrey for letting her patient get worse not better.
Professor McGonagall came to visit her late one night. She had been half asleep when the Headmistress quietly took a seat next to her bed.
"Miss Granger?"
Her eyes fluttered open. The expression on her old head of houses face was pinched.
"Hmm?", she mumbled, trying to sit up.
"Hermione, I have come to apologise to you. In the many years that I have known Severus I have misjudged him time and time again. Misjudging his intentions for you was possibly the greatest disservice I have done him. Even worse, I should have known better than not to trust your judgement of him. If you felt he was worthy of your affection, how could I have doubted your decision to enter a relationship with him? After everything I have seen you do through the years I should have known that you know your own mind. Of course a relationship between a teacher and a student is problematic, for everyone involved, but I should not have denied that the two of you knew what you were doing. With or without PTSD, I do not believe that Hermione Granger would trust someone who is not worthy of that. But instead of offering you support and advice like both of you deserved, I just made everything harder. For that I ask your forgiveness."
Hermione stared at McGonagall wide-eyed. She had not expected this. Warmth spread through her chest. Maybe this situation wasn't as hopeless as she had thought?
"Will you help me?", she whispered, not quite trusting her voice.
"Whatever you need, my dear. From now on you have my full support. You should have had it from the start, but alas I have made mistakes."
The young witch reached for her mentors hand. "You were always my favourite teacher, you know, Professor?"
McGonagall smiled a teary smile and squeezed Hermione's hand. "Cruz is worse than that Toad of a Woman who calls herself Umbridge. You will not be left at her mercy for long if I have anything to say about it. Please believe me when I say that this was not what I wanted when I insisted you take the PTSD test again." Seemingly transforming back into her usual brisk self, Professor McGonagall rose, wrapping her tartan dressing gown around herself. "Sleep now, my girl.", she ordered, her tone not matching the gentleness with which she tucked Hermione in.
When the curly-haired witch awoke the next morning she was not sure if McGonagall had really been here of if it was just a wishful fever dream. When Madame Pomfrey finally deemed her ready to go back to class, Hermione realised she had never been so reluctant to leave the Hospital Wing. The older witch must have noticed, for she placed a warm hand on Hermione's shoulder. "If you need anything, anything at all, you can come to me, alright?" Her patient gave her a startled look, but the Mediwitch only smiled and send her on her way.
Hermione walked the familiar path to her rooms, wondering what to expect there. To her surprise, it wasn't Cruz who was waiting for her, but her friends. Ginny wordlessly enveloped her in a hug as soon as the door closed behind her and Luna gently wrapped her arms around them both.