Chapter 25 - A Waking Nightmare
Weapons training had put us all in a good, optimistic mood and our lunch went by peacefully. We sat on the hill below my bedroom balcony overlooking the lake with a box of rice balls to share between the four of us. We chatted about anything and everything and somehow I managed to go a full hour without throwing or receiving a single insult.
The late afternoon sun was hot, and I would have given anything to run down that hill and give into the lake to cool off, but I stopped myself in case there was some obscure rule forbidding that sort of behaviour.
Our good moods didn't last long, however. The less said about the next lesson, the better. It was history class where an astoundingly slow and boring old woman droned on and on and on about the history of the Soul Society, notable Soul Reapers and their achievements and more irrelevant stuff that really didn't matter to us or affect our studies in any way. I had spent most of my life looking back at the past but nowadays I was all about looking forward to the future. I really didn't have to concentration for this crap.
I had to fight not to fall asleep several times. By the time the bell rang for last period, I felt like my soul was floating out of my body.
"Shoot me before our next history class so I don't have to go" Renji grumbled as we wandered towards our homeroom for the last hour of classes.
"Gladly. Pass the gun."
He mimed loading a gun and passing it to me without a complaint.
"How many bullets you got?" Rukia asked with a yawn.
Momo seemed to be the only one who wasn't close to death by boredom. "It wasn't that bad! Don't you find the history of this place inspiring?" she asked
"About as inspiring as having a bowl of sloppy grey porridge with no toppings for breakfast."
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with porridge!" Rukia complained looking offended.
"There is everything wrong with porridge and everything wrong with that stupid class. I don't care what people did like five thousand years ago, I care about what we are gonna do in the future, and every hour we spend in that classroom is an hour of valuable training time wasted."
"But just imagine if we are written about in textbooks for our great achievements in the future! Wouldn't that be awesome?" Momo fantasized.
"Baby steps, Momo. When you guys can get out of bed on time we'll start looking for publishers" I said sarcastically getting a laugh out of Renji for the first time.
Our homeroom had been transformed for our last lesson of the day which was marked as "Spiritual Cultivation" on the timetable and took place back in our homeroom.
There were large puffy pillows sitting on top of our tables and the blinds were drawn so the room was dark besides the sharp rays of evening sunset bursting through the gaps. As we entered and climbed up into the pillows Onabara circled around the room lighting candles that were scattered high and low.
"Make yourselves comfortable folks. Those pillows are for your backsides, not your heads" he said whenever a group entered the room as if he understood the pain of sitting through a history class and how tired it would inevitably make everyone unless your name was Momo.
"I can see those confused faces," he said shutting the door behind the last person. "This is your Spiritual Cultivation class, or to put it in layman's terms, Meditation hour. This class is mandatory for all students except sixth years. It's the perfect time to relax, unwind, forget the stresses of the day and most importantly, work on controlling your Spiritual Pressure and communicating with your Asauchi's."
He moved some stuff from his cluttered desk to the floor without much care and took a seat on his own pillow. "I want you all to close your eyes, breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth, get a rhythm going. You need to feel like your consciousness is drifting away. Once you're there you need to look for your Spirit Energy. It will be deep down so look long and hard. When you find it, I want you to summon it into a physical manifestation"
He demonstrated by instantly, effortlessly making a ball of golden light in his palm. "Like so."
I quickly realized that this is exactly what I had taught myself when I was new to this world all those years ago. I was finally seeing other people doing it and I felt comforted by the knowledge that I had been doing something correctly, and that I was already advanced in this training. Without bothering to meditate I summoned a ball of bright white energy between my hands and continued looking around. Onabara looked impressed but didn't say anything so not to break anyone's concentration.
As I looked around I saw people making the same mistake I had, trying too hard and straining their physical bodies instead of their minds. I was right to think that this was an entirely mental exercise. Onabara even said so to the people that were doing it wrong and before long there were some balls of coloured energy and some measly flickers of light at people's fingertips.
"Alright. That's enough for now. I want you all to practice that before bed every night. I promise it will help those of you who have trouble sleeping, it is very relaxing; But for now, just meditate with your swords on your laps. If you can manage it, try to feed some of your energy from your hands into the blade"
I got the impression that this suggestion was more aimed at me thanks to having no difficulty with the class whatsoever until now.
The candles were now the only light in the class as the sky turned a dark dusky blue. The atmosphere was calm and peaceful, and I easily drifted away.
I knew exactly where to find my energy and saw myself in my mind's eye as always, but this was slightly different. I was wearing my red and white uniform as in the real world, standing in the usual dense void though this time I had my new sword Ruby in my hand when usually I would have been empty handed even if I was holding Onyx.
I ran through the blackness until I found the crystal as I had done countless times before like my body and mind were attracted to it by some invisible force. I was certain this tiny glowing object was the source of my energy. That was the only thing it could be.
Once I found it, instead of trying to grab it I held Ruby out to it as if presenting the sword as an offering. Tendrils of white fog began to siphon away from the crystal and feed into the dull blade like teethers of energy and the whole sword began to glow with my freezing energy.
I felt a pressure on my arm and a voice emanated in the emptiness around me. I was too concentrated to pay it any attention at first, then it got louder with every call and I snapped back to consciousness.
When I opened my eyes, I found Momo and Rukia shaking me hard, calling my name. I must have been deep down in my mind to not hear or feel them until now. The whole of my class was staring at me, then it dawned on me that their faces were illuminated by a cool white ambient light instead of the warm candlelight. I looked down and saw the tendrils of energy feeding from my hands to Ruby, who was now illuminated by a sphere of white light that was twice its size. The candles had been extinguished and a distinct familiar chill hung in the air, causing everyone's breath to form as mist.
I pulled my hands away in surprise and Ruby clattered to the floor.
Embarrassed and ashamed at disrupting the class I apologized to my classmates and Onabara.
"That's quite alright." He said tolerably. "You may sit and watch until the bell, but please stay behind after class so we can chat, Miss..."
"Murasaki, Sir." I sighed, resigning to the horrible thought of getting detention on my first day.
The bell rang, and I stayed in place as the rest of the class filed out around me. The girls shot me worried looks and I grimaced back at them.
Onabara shut the door on their concerned faces and turned to relight the candles on his desk. It seems my energy had blown them all out much like that whirlwind I caused back in the exam. Maybe Hatsu and the others were right about my energy being strong. I didn't see anyone else doing stuff like that.
"That's quite an impressive Spirit Energy you have there," he said as he struck a match without looking at me. I didn't say anything. I didn't know if that was a compliment or not.
"You know, Murasaki, each year I am given a list of each of my new charges" he waved around a piece of paper that he pulled out of a draw in the desk. "On this list is each of your exam scores followed by a short report about your performance. This is list allows me to monitor each student's performance and improvement based on what the examiners listed as your strengths and weaknesses. The people who put you in this advanced class made a specific note about the sheer raw power of your Spirit Energy, but the reason you didn't get full marks in that part of the exam was due to your lack of control"
I hung my head in shame. "I know sir. My energy nearly blew everyone away in the exam and I didn't even notice until I saw the state of the room. I was so deeply focused on it that I wasn't aware of the real world around me…"
"That is exactly what happened today. You're not in trouble Murasaki. In fact, I'm happy that I can give you some advice. That is what this institution is for, to direct, teach and advise you. Now, as a long-term personal project, I want you to practice keeping your energy contained. At the moment you're like a leaky tap. You're just spewing water out all over the floor and getting everyone in the room soaked" He said with a smile that made me laugh. "It's something that can be easily improved upon if you know how. I suggest you make a trip to the library during tomorrows lesson. I will give you a hall pass and can go do some research on the matter. I would rather you practice in your own time-"
"So I don't disturb the rest of the class and give them frostbite?" I said bitterly to myself. "Trust me, Sir, I really never want to do that again. I hate being the centre of attention..."
He nodded. "It's not that anyone else in the class was better at control than you Murasaki, believe me, it's quite the opposite. Most of them have probably never tapped into their energy before but I can tell that you have tried. It's just that you have had no instruction until now and you've gained bad self-taught habits, am I right?"
I nodded. "I taught myself how to use my energy for things... Like running and to protect me"
"Everyone else has the advantage of a clean slate whereas we need to retrain those habits out of you. Quite frankly it's astonishing the amount of power you have and that you can already tap into it without help. Keeping it under control is the only issue here. As you have seen it can affect the people around you immensely. So, I want to see some improvement in your control by the end of the month. Only then will I let you re-join the class. Am I understood?"
"Yes Sir," I said with a bow.
"Good. Come to the next session and I will have a pass ready for you. You know where I am if you want to ask for advice."
"Yes Sir, thank you," I said sincerely grateful for his understanding.
"Alright Murasaki, you're dismissed. Go and get some food and enjoy the party tonight"
"Have a good evening sir" and I left the room, sliding the door closed behind me.
Momo, Rukia, and Renji were waiting for me opposite the class, looking out of a window where students were walking around in their finest party outfits.
Naturally, they bombarded me with questions.
"How many hours?" Renji asked, probably referring to the detention he was assuming I'd been given.
"Shut up Renji!" Rukia said whacking him in the arm then turning to me. "What did he say?"
"Basically, he's letting me skip class so I can practice in private and not disturb everyone else, but he's only given me a one-month deadline to get my Spirit Energy under control."
"Sounds fair to me, better than detention on your first day" Rukia laughed in relief. "I can just imagine Kanisawa's reaction"
I shivered at the thought. "Yeah I gotta admit that worry did cross my mind"
"Well, I knew Kimi would be okay!" Momo said confidently. "We were waiting to hear shouting, but we couldn't even hear your conversation, so I knew you weren't in trouble"
"I would be more scared by Onabara whispers than his shouts," Renji said miming a shiver as we headed towards the closest cafeteria without bothering to head back home to change.
I smiled fondly. "He doesn't look so scary to me right now. He's actually really nice, but I wouldn't recommend getting into trouble to test out the extent of his niceness"
"Well, we got through our first day alive. How about me go and check out this party and celebrate?" Rukia asked.
"Hell yes, let's do this!" Renji cheered, the most enthusiastic id seen him since weapons training.
I filled my plate to the brim at the all you can eat chicken buffet and rushed through it, eager to get back to the dorm, get changed and go to the festivities, which gave Renji a reason to pick a fight as usual.
"What are you, a cow? You only have one stomach you know"
"Shut it pineapple face! My stomach has an infinite capacity when it comes to chicken."
"You can't insult my hair when you look like a hedgehog!"
"Yes," I said patiently as if addressing a particularly slow toddler. "But I can't beat you up efficiently if my hair is flying in my mouth, can I? There's no way to make it stop spiking when its tied up, you of all people should know the struggle of having untameable hair!"
He opened his mount to argue back but Momo shut him up.
"Oh, give it rest lovebirds!"
I dropped my chicken leg on my plate with a clang. "Ew! That's gross why would you even say that?!" I complained. Sickened by the idea enough to push my plate away.
"You know what they say, the first sign of love is bullying. You two have got it baaaaad for each other" Momo said conversationally as if she was talking about the weather. Rukia almost choked on breadcrumbs as she tried to hold in a laugh at the looks of horror on mine and Renji's red faces.
I didn't really speak for most of the meal after that, preferring to silently stuff my face instead of showing my embarrassment. Maybe I was going a little overboard on my hatred of Renji. Or maybe he deserved it for acting like a complete moron and they were just looking for a way to make me stop hating him. A clever attempt, but I wasn't gonna fall for it.
We left the cafeteria as the moon began to rise.
We arranged to meet Renji at the top of the road into the student village in an hour so we would have enough time to freshen up and get changed into something more party appropriate.
I slipped on a pair of black shorts, a pair of flat biker style buckled and studded boots and a baggy grey long sleeve jumper that hung off one shoulder, but I released my hair from its ponytail and let it hang straight and loose around my lower back for a change, just to take away the slight evening chill from my neck and shoulders. I mainly tied my hair up so it didn't get in the way of training but now I actually wanted to make a slight effort to look presentable.
Momo picked out a cute pink halter neck and a frilly brown skirt with some sandals and Rukia changed into one of Momo's pale pink summer dresses.
The dress suited Rukia. It made her look oddly sweet and innocent and I knew of a great shop back home that might sell clothes Rukia would like so I promised to take her there as soon as we had a free weekend.
We found Renji and were greeted with a:
"Hey, you're not spikey anymore. Good job"
"You are. I see you didn't make much of an effort. You wanna try harder to next time" I quipped with a sweet smile as I threw my long hair over my shoulder with an exaggerated swish. That shut him up and we followed Momo's map towards the southern part of the campus.
The building wasn't even in view when we heard the first hint at thumping party music. Not my style at all but I felt like celebrating. I had managed to get through my first day relatively unscathed, so why not let my hair down a bit.
The huge wooden building loomed around the corner, its windows and open entrance blaring with multi-coloured lights, highlighting a banner above the door saying, "Welcome Freshers!" with lots of balloons attached to it.
We wandered into the hall where we were greeted by seniors who forced glasses of red coloured liquid that smelt distinctly alcoholic into our hands. Renji necked his glass and wiped his mouth appreciatively.
"Yep, I'll have another of those!" I heard him shout over the music.
I sipped at mine and slowly the sharp taste grew on me. I wasn't much of a drinker really. At parties, my sister and I had always been happier with fruit juice than wine so that we could play pranks on the drunk people around us and never get caught for it.
We gravitated towards was the table at the base of the tall stage, piled high with food and drinks, following Renji who seemed to be on a mission for more alcohol. The music was so loud we felt the vibrations in our bones and we had to communicate with vague hand signals. We maneuverer around the crowds of partygoer's dancing beneath the disco ball in the middle of the room and each grabbed a cup of something sweet and sugary before huddling up to decide what to do next.
Each club had set up a booth underneath a dim spotlight with a backboard and sideboards enclosing a table, each manned by a couple of representatives. Some of the clubs had photographs on the boards and table as well as information about the club, other clubs had promotional posters, some clubs had brought their wares to show prospective new members, like the Flower Arrangement Club with their beautifully assembled bouquets around their table, the Breakfast Club who had samples of home cooked breakfasts and a range of coffees for people to try, and the Archery Club with their different types of bows up on display with terrifying looking modified arrows pinned to the wall boards.
Every type of sport or recreational activity seemed to be available here. We went around the first few booths together, stopping to looking at the displays of a few of the booths, like Arts & Crafts and Swimming club, but choosing to walk past clubs they weren't interested in, like Cheerleading club, whose members were performing a range of poses for a crowd of mostly male admirers.
We really wanted to stop by the Cooking Club who were doing a live demonstration for a crowd and then handing out samples, but we were all too stuffed from dinner and starting to regret that chicken buffet binge.
I heard a squeal of excitement loud enough to carry over the music while I was turned away to look at the Zanjutsu club with Renji by my side, and suddenly Momo was dragging me and Rukia along by the hand with Renji trailing behind.
We came to a halt in front of what I first mistook as a memorial shrine, until I saw the subject of the hundreds of photographs staring down at me from every inch of board.
The header on the leaflet that Momo was now waving around was "Captain Sosuke Aizen Appreciation Society"
A shiver ran up my spine and I turned away. I jabbed Renji in the side hard and indicated over to the food table with my cup and mimed drinking from it. He gave me an inaudible, assumedly very rude complaint about the jab but agreed to sneak away with me.
The two of us sat in a surprisingly comfortable, companionable silence, sipping at our drinks and occasionally reaching over to steal cakes from the table while tapping our feet to the music.
I kept glancing through the crowd over to where Momo was now holding Rukia hostage. Rukia kept tiptoeing to her full height to look for us over the crowd while Momo was engrossed in a conversation with the Aizen Society members. Part of me felt sorry for abandoning poor Rukia and I wanted to rescue her but the other part of me didn't want to see Aizen's face again.
This time I got a jab in the ribs and jolted to attention. Renji was pointing around to the tables and I assumed he wanted to go look around. I nodded and joined him with a lemon cupcake in hand. We might be waiting for Momo and Rukia for hours at this rate, so I figured we might as well do our rounds without them.
Renji picked up a leaflet for anything that was remotely violent looking. I was only really interested in anything physical too, but mainly in the exercise sense. I picked up leaflets for the Gym & Fitness club, Morning jogging club, the Gymnastics team, Zanjustu, Kendo, Weapons training, the Track & Field team and the Music club.
I had the strong urge to write back home and ask my family to send over my instruments when I came to the music booth and saw a selection of their instruments on display as well as photos of past music club productions and school events they had played at. A large post on the wall stated that all the music being played at this event had been written and recorded by Music Club members, which meant they had proper recording studios and equipment.
I signed up for auditions on the spot without thinking twice.
I had learned how to play all those string instruments with my grandmother over the years and couldn't let all that time and effort go to waste now.
Renji was caught up in a conversation with the brick wall-sized Mixed Martial Arts club instructors and I awkwardly hovered around just off to the side waiting for him, when something unusual caught my eye.
In a dark corner of the room just past the stage where the disco ball lights weren't reaching sat what I had initially thought was an incomplete, abandoned booth. But the more I stared at it and let my eyes adjust to its dark surroundings the more I decided it had been put there intentionally. It had been dressed in a way that made it blend in with the shadows, with thick black velvet material covering its walls and table and a stack of dark-coloured papers at the centre of the table. There wasn't a single soul manning the booth or standing near it. It stood alone, ignored and forgotten.
My curiosity got the better of me and I wandered over to take a quick look, feeling like I was doing something wrong in being over there. I quickly snatched up a paper and hopping into the gap between it and the next booth over to scan the writing. It read:
Stealth Club
First club meeting tomorrow at midnight,
The highest room in the tallest tower,
Be there if you dare.
I raised an eyebrow at the cryptic challenge and I reread it several times. There was nothing on the other side. No application form, no other details given.
The stealth club... of course it would be cryptic because they were supposed to go unnoticed. They weren't likely to flaunt the club in the open like everyone else. And then the reason behind the dare hit me.
It was at midnight when everyone was supposed to be in bed after curfew. This was a challenge to sneak out and break the rules without being caught.
I grinned and muttered "Challenge accepted," to myself before folding the leaflet up and burying it in my pocket. I inconspicuously slipped back into the crowd and returned to where Renji was staring around looking bewildered. I nudged him and waved up at him. He gave me a look as if to ask where the hell I had vanished to and I pointed over to the food table and then to my cupcake in reply, the same cupcake I had been carrying before. He hadn't been paying enough attention to see that I hadn't eaten my first one and didn't even question the lie.
I had a feeling that the position of that Stealth Club's table was meant to draw attention to anyone who approached it and force them to search for a way to cover up their potential plan to break the rules if they were caught. I knew full well that if I'd have gone over there with Rukia and Momo they would have talked me out of it and been suspicious of my late-night whereabouts from there on. By going alone, I had managed to avoid detection, I assumed, I hopefully they wouldn't suspect a thing when I tried to sneak out the following night.
This was all one big test and so far I was passing with flying colours.
Eventually, Momo and Rukia returned empty-handed except for Momo's numerous Aizen leaflets and a few photographs, which she no doubt intended to spread across her bedroom wall. Rukia was annoyed that we had looked around without her when Renji showed her all the leaflets he had gathered. He had Zanjustu, Weapons training, Kendo, Mixed Martial Arts, Wrestling, and Kickboxing; which was still less than Momo who eventually picked up leaflets for the Kido club, Weapons Training, Cooking club, Breakfast club, Tea ceremony society, Flower Arrangement club, Dance club, Book club, Literature club, Fashion & Textiles club and the Homework club when we walked around for her and Rukia.
Rukia only really showed interest in two clubs, Kido and Arts & Crafts.
When we finished our last walk Momo unexpectedly pulled me and Rukia onto the dancefloor and made us do a really an embarrassingly awkward, clueless wiggle while she happily bounced around to the music.
I managed to sneak out of her way and hide behind Renji who was in stitches of at the side-lines.
That was not the type of dancing I was used to, and I would refuse to do that ever again.
When Momo got the urge to boogie out of her system we grabbed one last drink and stuffed up our pockets with food before heading outside to practice out Kido before curfew and call it a night.
Now we could finally hear each other talk.
"I can't believe you made me do that... I'm mortified..." I whimpered.
"Oh, lighten up, you're not the only person in that hall who isn't used to partying. No one is going to judge you" Momo reassured me.
"Except me, you looked like a chicken trying to fix a broken wing" Renji snickered.
I punched him in the arm "Shut up! At least I tried"
"Yep, it's the effort that counts" Momo smiled.
"Momo, have you even looked at these leaflets?" Rukia said flicking through the papers. "Literature and Book club are on together in the same library by run by different leaders, and that's at the same time as the Kido club on three separate days, and those all start thirty minutes before Cooking club." She paused to scan the leaflets more.
"Oh, and Tea Ceremony and Flower Arranging are on the same day as the ASS club too, but one hour apart. You'll never make it to most of these, and even if you could you'd have no time left for meals, chill time or study time" I said looking over her shoulder for myself.
"The ASS Club?" Rukia questioned with an eyebrow raised. She handed the leaflets to me so she could eat some food.
I folded them up and crammed them into Renji's pocket. He swatted me away and shoved them into mine, causing a chocolate bar to drop on the floor. I swore at him loudly and picked up it, thanking the gods that it was wrapped up.
"Yeah. Swap Aizen's names around and shorten it a bit and you get Aizen Sosuke Society, the ASS club." I clarified scrubbing the dirt off the wrapper.
Renji nearly choked on his drink and had to be patted on the back by Rukia who was also holding back giggles.
"Oh, stop it, Kimi! He's not a bad guy! It's not like he's ever done anything to hurt you. I don't understand why you hate him so much!" and before the end of Momo's sentence could even reach my ears, the world short-circuited, the noisy hall we were leaving behind dimmed to a tinny blur and the world went black.
Flashing images filled my eyes like a flickering film once again. I was looking up at the same bright full moon that we had been walking under just moments before, then it was blocked out by a white-robed silhouette. Aizen's eyes glimmered with malice behind his spectacles as he leaned his head into the light, glaring down at me. He mouthed something to another silhouette approaching from behind him and the moonlight glinted off a shaft of sharp metal.
The blade plunged into my chest and I woke up from my waking nightmare, screaming in terror and gasping for air.
The real full moon confused and disoriented me. For a moment I mistook Renji's Silhouette for Aizen's and took a defensive swipe at him. He leaped back in surprise and Rukia grabbed my arms.
Momo was cradling my head in her lap, stroking my hair, hushing me to relax.
My heart rate slowed, and I came back to my safe reality. I refused Renji's offer to pull me to my feet and leaped up on my own, swaying from dizziness.
I wasn't really taking in what they were saying, I just started walking towards the dorms and didn't look back.
Renji stayed with us until we were at Emerald's front door to make sure we got home safe. They kept asking me if I was okay and demanding details, but I shook my head in fear that I might be sick if I opened my mouth. I managed to mutter a sorry and a good night to the girls who asked about Kido practice, but I ignored them and locked myself away.
I was too shook up to practice my Spirit Energy control, but I was way too alert to go to bed. I sat there trying to make sense of what I had seen, but I couldn't even figure out how, when, where or why I would have met Aizen. How did I not remember the encounter?
My amnesia only covered my life before I had been sent to the Soul Society as a spirit, not after. Why would Aizen have been anywhere near me, and when had it happened? I tried to recall more details, but only remembered the vague suggestion of woodland and being sprawled on a forest floor.
Then the realization hit me. I remembered the day that I was found in a forest in the middle of winter, unconscious and on the verge of hyperthermia when Captain Unohana told me I had a Captain level memory lock placed on my mind.
At that moment I knew my vision was a real memory and I wasn't just imagining my fear and hatred of Sosuke Aizen. It was a very real primal fear for something that was only barely breaking through the cracks of the memory Kido that he must have put on me to stop me from... what? Accusing him of hurting me? Had I wronged him in some way to deserve being hurt? That was the part I didn't understand.
Why would a captain have an issue with a little, harmless Rukon girl? And even more confusingly, if my vision was correct, how was I still alive after having a blade plunged through my heart? Perhaps one day the memory lock would break and I would be able to out Aizen for what he truly was.
All these thoughts swimming through my mind kept me tossing and turning for hours. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I got up and headed to my balcony to try and cast the Shakkaho spell a few times.
I knew full well that not practicing was not a good idea and the prospect of failing the spell in front of the whole class promised an even less chance of getting some sleep tonight.
After a solid hour of repeatedly chanting the incantation while awake, I managed to summon my energy to my hands without meditating to search for it. I could do it to my feet like it was second nature, but this required a lot more focus. But eventually, after managing to first a few beams of light I felt my strength waning and my eyes growing heavy, so I crawled into bed and forced myself into an uneasy, fitful sleep.