Chapter 24: X rated Thoughts.
Edward's POV
I found myself sitting on the porch beside Emmett. I knew I'd attempted to follow Drea into the house and I vaguely remember Emmett forcing me to sit down. Even if I didn't know what happened, it would be quite obvious just based on those facts. Seth was sitting in the middle of the yard, crossed legged, his eyes closed like he was in some sort of trance. Jasper had walked away and had yet to return.
"You cool?" I asked looking at Emmett who nodded.
"You?"
"Yep." I replied and we both looked at Seth who'd opened his eyes.
"You really are skilled in the area of dust defense." Seth smirked and got to his feet. "Master Hulk." He bowed to him.
"He's had a lot of practice." I said rolling my eyes.
"So have you." Emmett said nodding at me. "It's like you don't even try anymore." It was true, but I lied anyway.
"I do try."
"Liar." Seth coughed. Emmett smirked.
"Okay fine." I admitted. "I have no self-control, that shouldn't be surprising."
"No surprise here." Seth held up his hand.
"Even Seth tries." Emmett said looking at me.
"And I did good too." Seth nodded.
"So what, you want a Scooby snack?" I asked and Emmett chuckled.
"I am hungry…."
"Aren't you always?" Emmett asked getting to his feet. "Come on, lets go see if we can find you some food."
"You know if you feed it, it will never go away." I said following them into the house.
"It will if you poison the dog food." Emmett smirked.
"Haha." Seth rolled his eyes as he rummaged around the fridge like he owned it. "Oh what is this I've found?" Seth said pulling a can of whipped cream from the fridge and smirking at Emmett who looked at him wide eyed. "Hulks kryptonite."
"Ain't that the truth." I smirked then shook my head trying to get the horrid images to go away.
"Where the hell did that come from?" Emmett asked as Seth shook the can.
"As if you didn't know." I mused and Emmett looked at me.
"I don't." He shook his head. "I got rid of that one."
"I heard about that." Seth smirked and sprayed whipped cream into his mouth before offering the can to Emmett. "You want?"
"No thanks, Im trying to quit."
"Drea told you?" I asked wide eyed and wondering why the hell she would do that.
"Well she really had no choice." Seth said spraying more into his mouth. "Coming to school with whipped cream in your hair is not the norm." Emmett made a coughing sound and I looked at him.
"What?"
"Let me guess, you had to point it out?" Emmett asked with a smirk.
"Hell yeah." Seth smirked. "She was sticky, I had to ask, she hates being sticky."
"Not always." Emmett licked his lips and looked at his feet.
"What did you do?" I asked giving him a look.
"Nothing." He smirked.
"Not what I heard." Seth replied shaking the can again.
It was then the kitchen door swung open and in walked Drea. Sunshine and Adryen came in behind her giggling.
"What is up my lovely?" Seth asked filling his mouth up again. The expression on her face was priceless.
"Where did that come from?" She asked glancing at Emmett who held his hands up.
"Gasp." Sunshine said covering her mouth.
"From the fridge." Seth replied and held it out to her. "You want some?"
"No…" Drea shook her head. "I'm trying to quit." Emmett smirked.
"Obviously you're not trying very hard." I said crossing my arms and looking at her.
"And just what does that mean?" She asked looking at me oddly. I moved towards her just to see for myself. She spun around in a circle as I tried to touch her hair. "What are you doing?"
"I just want to touch it." I said the wrong thing. Emmett and Seth started laughing.
"The hell?" Adryen asked looking at me.
"I meant your hair, I just wanted to touch your hair…" yeah that's better.
"Why?" Drea asked looking slightly disturbed.
"To see if it's sticky." I answered honestly, though Adryen's thoughts proved just how disturbing the conversation was.
"You been talking?" Drea asked glaring at Seth. He filled his mouth with whipped cream and mumbled something.
"What's going on?" I asked looking at her then focusing on Sunshine whom I knew would be the one to reveal the facts.
"Hey Sunshine." Emmett snapped his fingers at her. "Where's Uranus?" She started laughing immediately and whatever she was thinking was replaced with hysteria.
"In my pants." She giggled and tapped her pocket.
"Good place for Uranus to be." Emmett gave her that grin of his.
"Do I even want to know?" Drea asked looking at him.
"It's cute really."
"Uranus is cute." Sunshine snorted and laughed loudly.
"Thanks for noticing." Emmett smirked and she pointed at him unable to comment she was laughing so hard.
"Quite the distraction technique you got there." I said narrowing my eyes at him.
"Distraction's my thing." He replied with a smirk.
"You are pretty good at it." Adryen commented then looked away when he gave her the look.
"Help me I'm gonna die, I can't breathe." Sunshine gasped.
"You don't have to breathe." Drea said with a laugh.
"Right…." Sunshine sucked in a fake breath and touched her cheeks. "My face hurts."
I tried to read her again and all she was thinking about was her face hurting. I looked at Emmett wondering what it is he was hiding. As Sunshine calmed herself down, Drea snatched the whipped cream from Seth and threw it in the trashcan.
"Hey!" Seth whined.
"Shut up." She snapped and looked around the room. "Soo…. Im fine everyone, thank you for asking."
"Since you're alive, I take it you didn't tell …." Seth started then hushed himself but not before glancing at Adryen.
"I did not." Drea replied and glanced at Adryen as well. She smirked and even without her thoughts I knew Drea was lying.
"Well I'm gonna go…." Adryen said faking a smile. "Remember what I said Lexi."
"I won't let her forget." Sunshine nodded.
"Forget what?" Seth asked because he was nosy.
"You make sure she does it." Adryen pointed at him. "I don't want to have to get involved, but it's obvious the whore needs her ass kicked." I looked at Drea who rolled her eyes.
"Different whore."
I was even more confused then.
"You gonna kick Liz's ass?" Seth asked clearly excited about it.
"Im going to talk to her…." Drea said shaking her head.
"And if she doesn't listen, you better kick her ass." Adryen pointed at her again. "I'm serious."
"Yeah you need to tell her to take her specially placed kisses elsewhere." Sunshine nodded and shook her fist in the air.
"Would you stop mentioning that?" Adryen made a disgusted face.
"Seriously." I agreed.
"Later." Adryen waved and walked out of the house.
"Who is Liz?" I asked looking at Drea. "And whats up with the special kisses thing?" I started shaking my head. "Never mind." I glared at Emmett who had explained it again in vivid detail.
"Liz is this chick at school." Seth said. "She wants Jake real bad. Like… she even made a to do list."
"A to do list?" Drea asked looking quite surprised.
"Uh…. Probably shouldn't have said that."
He started the list in his mind, but stopped after number one which was enough to know he shouldn't have mentioned it.
Remove clothing with our teeth
"What is on this list?"
"What?" He asked faking surprise. "What list? I don't know anything about a list…"
"Seth." Drea snapped and reached for him.
"Well if number one is any indication ….I would say it's a preparation list…. For specially placed kisses…." That's about as nice as I could describe it.
"What is number one?" Drea asked like she was the most innocent person in the world.
"Ooooh me!" Sunshine raised her hand. "I know I know!"
"Uranus." Emmett said just the one word, thus distracting her again.
"What is up with Uranus?" I asked looking between them.
"Nothing, what is up with yours?" Sunshine started giggling uncontrollably. Emmett clapped his hands together and laughed along with her.
"For the record…" Seth shook his head. "That body part is not on the list."
"There's body parts on the list?" Drea asked crossing her arms.
"What list?" Seth held his hands up.
"You need to stop talking." Emmett said shoving him and looking at Drea. "It's nothing, trust me… she aint got nothing on you." He made a sound like he was clearing his throat.
"Oooh…." Seth smirked and Drea shook her head.
"Sounds like you need to stop talking."
"Right because we know way too much about the kinkiness of your sexy sex." Sunshine said causing the whole room to grow quiet. Drea looked up at the ceiling and sighed loudly.
"Why does it always have to be about me?" She asked looking around. "Why can't we consistently bring up someone else's sex life?"
"Obviously, yours is more interesting." I said trying not to smirk. Sunshine nodded in agreement.
"Oh is that right?" Drea asked giving me one of those looks that made me regret my comment. "Ooh I know, let's talk about yours. Sunshine and Edward, lets talk about it."
"Lets not do that." I said shaking my head frantically.
"No need to do that." Sunshine said louder than she needed too. "Lets talk about you and him instead."
"No need for that either." I never stopped shaking my head.
"You are such a whore…" Seth smirked.
"Isn't he?" Sunshine rolled her eyes.
"A kinky one at that." Drea said giving me a look before addressing Sunshine. "Am I right?"
"Do I have to answer that?" Sunshine asked with a fake sigh.
"No, don't." I pointed at her and looked at Drea. "How the hell did this get turned on me?"
"Perks of being a kinky whore." Emmett smirked and Seth laughed.
"I am not a whore." I defended, it was true, I was assuming.
"Notice the lack of denial on the kinky part." Seth nudged Emmett and he nodded.
"Noticed."
"I am not kinky." Again I was only assuming…
"Every man has their kinks." Drea said winking at me. "While I am not as experienced with yours as I may be with others, I do have a general idea on the subject."
"Tell us Lexi, tell us about Mr. Perfect and his kinkiness." Seth said giving me a smirk. "Inquiring minds."
I looked at Drea trying to think back, trying to figure out what I could have done to give her any kind of idea.
"You're thinking about it aren't you?" She smirked.
"Shut up." I snapped, unamused.
"Who's to say it's a personal kink?" Emmett asked like he was helping. "Maybe it's different per person."
"Nope." Drea answered quickly and looked at Sunshine.
You like to talk dirty.
She thought it without even a glance my way.
"What?" I was surprised and unaware and there was no way that was true. "I do not."
"Yes you do." Drea chuckled.
"You don't even know what she said."
"You think me and Sunshine haven't compared notes?"
"Oooooh…" Seth whistled.
Okay so maybe I may have said something like that to Sunshine at one time or another but I was almost positive that had never occurred with Drea.
I searched my mind for the memory, it had never been very clear and I hardly ever thought about the events that led up to the moment I had regretted for half of my life.
"You want me to help you remember?" Drea asked extremely amused.
"No…no…" I held up my hand. "Just shut up."
Sunshine giggled and excused herself, giving Drea a high five before leaving the room.
What the fuck have I gotten myself into?
"This is disturbingly entertaining." Seth said crossing his arms and leaning against the counter beside Emmett who had the same stance.
"I know right?" Emmett smirked and looked at the door. "Oooh Here comes Jaz, right on time. It's like he has a sixth sense about these things."
"Kinky things?" Seth asked.
"Embarrassing Edward things." Emmett smirked and I glared at him as Jasper walked through the door.
"What's up?" Jasper asked looking around the room. I looked at Drea again and she smirked.
"Shhhh Edward's trying to remember." Emmett grinned.
I could clearly remember what Drea was wearing and then what she was not wearing. I stared at the wall as the images came into my mind. The details were blurred, but the feeling was clear. I remembered how it started, how Id grabbed her and pushed her up against the wall.
"Seems some things are hard for him to remember." Seth mused.
"What is he trying to remember?" Jasper asked.
"Shhhh…wait for it…"
"It's true. Some things are very hard…Isnt it hard Edward?" Drea said the sentence that sparked the voice. My voice saying probably one of the most vulgar things I'd ever said out loud.
I started tapping my fingers on the table, realizing what Id said and what I begged her to do about it. Apparently it was true…. I could recall various other words Id used to describe various areas of myself and possibly herself….
"Jesus Christ…" I made a sound like I was clearing my throat and looked at her. She started laughing.
"What the hell am I missing here?" Jasper asked looking at me then at Drea.
"Mr. Perfect just remembered what he did to classify himself as a kinky whore." Emmett explained and tried not to laugh as well.
"And the verdict is?" Jasper grinned.
"What's your verdict?" I asked, I don't know it seemed like a good way to take the focus off me.
"My verdict?" Jasper asked as Sunshine came back into the room.
"Did I miss it, did I miss it?" She looked at Drea who shook her head.
"He hasn't divulged yet." Drea explained. And I wasn't going to either. "Instead he's trying to turn it around on Jaz."
"Oh?" Sunshine looked at him. "What's your deal Jaz?"
Obviously she misinterpreted what Drea meant, but hey focus is off me.
"My deal?"
"Your personal kink." Drea explained. "We were discussing the kinkiness of…"
"The sex." Sunshine nodded. "Go on your deal?" He grinned widely and I knew he was going to answer before he did. Had it not been Sunshine to ask he probably wouldn't have.
"Role playing is my thing." He didn't even blink an eye, just answered just like that.
"I can definitely see that." Drea nodded and then shook her head.
"Who do you pretend to be?" Sunshine asked, she was intrigued.
"Different people…" He answered with no hint of embarrassment. "You know, police officer…. Firefighter… ups delivery man."
"Like one of those, I got a package for you, kind of deals?" Sunshine grinned. Jasper snapped his fingers and pointed at her.
"Paid upon delivery and if ya aint got the money, you gotta make other arrangements."
"That's good, I like that." Sunshine nodded. "Im so gonna do that." She looked at the living room doorway where that guy was at.
"Glad I could help." Jasper smirked and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"I am learning so much today." Seth looked way too excited about it. "Keep sharing… go on… what about you Hulk? What's your deal?"
"Like that question even has to be asked." Sunshine snickered.
"He has a biting problem." Drea answered probably so Sunshine wouldn't bring up the whipped cream thing. I was going to mention it but Drea gave me a glare that reminded me I was not being focused on and I should keep my mouth shut.
"Never once has it been a problem." Emmett said giving her that grin.
"You like to do it or like to have it done?" Seth asked. He might as well have pulled out a pad of paper and started taking notes, he was way too interested.
"I'm not picky." Emmett admitted.
"Big Daddy has the same deal." Drea said looking at Sunshine who grinned.
"Yeah?" Seth smirked. "What about you Sunshine, what's your deal?"
"Hmmmm that's a hard question." She said with a fake sigh. "I'll have to think about it."
"Oh please don't do that." I said shaking my head and realizing I should not have spoken.
"Edward's turn then." Jasper pointed at me and grinned.
"Right. You haven't shared." Emmett smirked and I looked at Drea.
"Neither has she."
"Fair." Emmett nodded. "Lex?"
"You know my deal." She replied looking slightly amused. He smirked and nudged her with his shoulder.
"She's a hair puller." Sunshine answered for her. Apparently they discussed everything.
"Guilty." Drea mused.
"That's why you're so into Jake." Seth smirked.
"And Jakey likey." Sunshine nodded. "A lot.."
"I am so harassing him about this." Seth had that excited look on his face again.
"What's your deal mutt?" Emmett asked changing the subject.
"I don't know what my deal is yet." Seth answered with a shrug. "I will test out every prospect from my lessons today and I will let you know."
"I'm sure you will." Drea snickered.
"Edward?" Jasper turned and looked at me which made everyone else do the same.
"I'm sure he will." I nodded like he was trying to confirm Seth's answer. Though I knew that was not what he was asking.
"Come on Bro, we all shared. Your turn."
Okay… everyone else was able to admit to their weirdness, why couldn't I?
"Well… apparently…" I started and just could not say it. "I am a horrible person."
"It's not horrible." Sunshine said giving me a sympathetic look. "Surprising….. Dirty… but not horrible."
"Really Edward." Drea laughed. "At least you're good at it."
I couldn't tell if it was a compliment considering she was laughing, so I made no move to reply. Wouldn't have known what to say anyway.
"You know who isn't good at it?" Sunshine asked looking at Drea. "That pretty whore… bet he could teach her a thing or two." Drea started laughing again.
"Liz?" Seth asked confused.
"Who's Liz?" Jasper looked at him.
The only person who put the facts together was Emmett and even he started laughing.
"You caught that didn't you?" Drea asked doing the nudge shoulder thing.
"Daddy likes the dirty talk." Emmett said looking at me, then everyone looked at me and laughed.
"He's always been good with words." Jasper nodded.
"I cannot even imagine you saying something dirty." Seth said wide eyed. "You come off like such a prude."
"Publically prude, privately crude." Sunshine said in a sing song voice.
"Good one Sunshine." Drea laughed and high fived her.
"Ha ha." Seth snickered. "That's unbelievable. Give us an example, say something dirty."
I just looked at him. No way in hell was I going to say anything.
"He can't do it all willy nilly like." Drea said like she was helping. "He has to have a reason… you know…a reason…" She coughed and turned away.
"Yeah the motors gotta get revved up first." Sunshine explained and Drea pointed at her. Everyone laughed.
"Then you give us an example then." Seth nodded at her.
"Ummm….." Sunshine stuttered. "Drexi?"
"He just likes to detail what he feels…" Drea said trying to put it delicately. "You know and what he wants…"
"To feel?" Jasper smirked. Drea tried not to smile.
"How do you even remember that?" I asked knowing I shouldn't have.
"Just something I remember." She shrugged. "It was a first for me. Not the last but the first."
"Jakey likey the dirty talk too." Sunshine explained like we needed to know that.
"Sunshine…" Drea gasped.
"Oh it's different when its Jake?"
"Well he's not here to make a comment…so…"
"If he were here…" Seth nodded at Sunshine. "This would be the part where he says something slick and starts hitting on Sunshine."
"Damn right." Emmett mused. "I can almost see it happening."
"I am no longer enjoying this conversation." Sunshine said glaring at both of them.
"Yeah well suck it up." I said looking at her. "Your turn, let's have it."
"From this moment forward everytime he says anything I am going to perceive it in the dirty way." Seth said giving me an odd look. Jasper and Emmett both laughed.
I was going to have to watch how I worded things from now on.
"You figure out your deal yet Sunshine?" Jasper asked giving her a nod.
"I have so many deals…" She said making a sighing sound. "It's hard to pick just one."
As if on cue that guy came into the kitchen.
"Sup momma?" He said draping his arm around her. "I'm hungry."
"You are always hungry." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Humans, really."
"Bet Big D could answer for us." Seth smirked.
"Answer what?" He asked looking at Seth then Sunshine.
"We were having a discussion about sexy kinkiness."
"We've already discussed the kinky biting which you and Hulk seem to share interest in." Seth said and that guy nodded at Emmett. "Jasper's into role playing, Lexi enjoys hair pulling and Edward likes to talk dirty." That guy looked at me like he already knew that. "Now we wanna know what Sunshine's deal is." That guy looked at her and she shrugged.
"I have so many…."
"Well isn't it obvious?" He asked looking around the room. Everyone started shaking their heads and I laughed as his thoughts explained it.
Half nakedness.
It was definitely the most prominent of her issues.
"That's more of what causes the deal than the deal itself isn't it?" I asked.
"No that's pretty much the deal." That guy disagreed. "Even bigger deal if the Hulks involved." Everyone looked at Emmett who grinned because it had become a habit.
"What is it?" Sunshine asked. "What's my deal? Tell me!"
"Half nakedness." That guy answered. "Fun for all."
"That is a pretty big deal…" Sunshine made a sighing sound. "Which makes me realize…" She pointed at Seth. "You cannot make comments in Jakey's honor. You have way too many clothes on."
"My apologies. Had I know I was here to represent I would have undressed for the occasion."
"It still wouldn't be the same." Sunshine said making that sighing sound again. "You don't have enough hair."
"I could wear a wig."
"Or you could just bring Jacob." Drea said giving him a look.
"Yeah?"
"If he'll come."
"I guarantee he'll come for you." Seth smirked.
And they say Im dirty?
"That was so wrong…" Jasper shook his head. "I can't believe I didn't say it first."
"You people are terrible…" Drea sighed and shook her head.
"You started it." I said making a face at her. "Everyone is thinking about sex now because you started the ridiculous conversation."
"I'm not thinking about sex. Im thinking about eating." That guy said then his expression changed. "Okay now I'm thinking about sex."
"Drexi…." Sunshine did nothing but say her name.
"I'll watch Cullen." Drea nodded in understanding. Sunshine grabbed that guys arm and shoved the door open.
"Love you Drexi." Sunshine cooed.
"Pull his hair for me." Drea called after her. Sunshine snapped her fingers.
"You got it."
"That was totally weird…." Seth said looking a bit disturbed.
"That's weird?" I asked giving him a look. "As compared to the conversation that led up to it?"
"Well when you say it like that, I suppose it's not that weird." Seth nodded.
"Im gonna go play with Cullen." Drea said looking at us. "You boys behave."
"Wait Lex." Seth said moving towards her. "What do you want me to tell Jake?"
"I dunno… just tell him I'll see him at school."
"What no sexy message?"
"Well we are taking things slow." She said with a sigh.
"So I shouldn't mention anything that was discussed today?" He smirked.
"No you probably shouldn't."
"All right." He nodded at her and she turned for the door. "Hey Lex?" She turned around and he grinned. "You want me to pull his hair for you?"
"Even if I say no, you're going to do it anyway." She said with a smirk. "Obviously your deal involves pretty boys."
"Oooh good one Lexi." Jasper pointed at her and she bowed.
"While you're at it, give him a kiss for me."
"Would that be a specially placed kiss?" I asked looking at her and she laughed.
"Okay…." Seth shook his head. "I'm out."
Jacob's POV
After Seth left the house with Adryen, Quil wandered into the yard. I knew he wouldn't show his face around her until he got over what happened at school. Though really it just pissed me off that he couldn't let it go and I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to him right now.
After Van explained what really happened during the "fight" Quil grew silent. He wouldn't look at me, he wouldn't answer Seth's harassing questions. Nothing. Even after we left school, he was quiet and then he took off.
"Sup?" I nodded at him from the porch where I sat. He nodded back but didn't say anything. "Seth went to talk to Lexi." He nodded. "Adryen went with him." He looked up at me and sucked in a breath.
"I'm totally screwed." He said sitting down beside me. "What do you think?"
"It's probable." I nodded. Adryen and I shared the same temper, but she was better at managing it.
"What should I do?" He asked breathlessly. "I can't even talk to her… without thinking about it."
"Stop thinking about it." I snapped without meaning too. "I mean seriously Quil… it wasn't a big deal, you did nothing wrong…. Its over let it go." Before I lose my damn mind.
"It is a big deal." He said gritting his teeth. "You don't know what it's like."
This is the part where I am supposed to say tell me what it's like but I had heard enough from Seth and refused to ask.
"Im sure its…." I couldn't find a proper word that wasn't pleasant in describing thoughts of Lexi, atleast not in the way he was thinking.
"It's horrible. It's dirty. It's wrong."
Dirty. I didn't like that word.
"Then stop thinking about it…." I said the sentence slowly trying not to sound angry.
"I'm trying…I swear to god Jake I am trying." He shook his head. "It's like… I dunno… what is something you've done that you were ashamed of and any time it's mentioned or you see someone or something that reminds you of it, you start thinking about it even though you don't want too, but it's engraved in your head and you can't help it."
That was probably the longest sentence I had ever heard him utter.
"I don't think about things like that." I answered. "I ignore them and move on."
"Nothing? There's nothing at all?"
"Nothing that comes to mind."
Maybe kissing Rose, but I wasn't going to admit it.
"What about Liz?" He asked. "What about her note? What about all those things she said? Did you think about it?"
"Did you?"
"No." He shook his head. "She scares me." I laughed softly.
"Even if I thought about it, it's not a big deal because I would never do it." I explained. "Which is the same for you isn't it? You thought it, it's not gonna happen, just forget about it, think about something else."
"You're right." Quil nodded. "You're totally right. I'll think about something else …"
"Or someone else." I told him, hating I had to say it. "This will probably be the only time I ever say this, but considering your thought process maybe you should think about…." I coughed. "My sister."
"Right Adryen, I'll think about Adryen." He nodded and looked deep in thought. "She's gonna kill me."
"Not her killing you." I said shaking my head. "Think about… you know… please don't make me say it."
"I can't think about that." Quil looked shocked. "Not here, not now… Im mean not around you that would be wrong…"
"Yes because I would rather you think about touching Lexi."
"That's just it, I don't want too!"
"Then stop thinking about it." I snapped. "Think about Adyren or whatever the fuck you wanna think about, just leave Lexi out it or at least don't tell me about it. If I can't do it I don't wanna hear about it."
"I can see how that would bother you…." Quil nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry Jake."
"It's not your fault." I shook my head. "It's cool…let's just leave it alone, all right?"
"All right." He nodded and sucked in his breath. "So…. What's Seth's plan?"
"He mentioned showing her the note again… the part I wrote." I said with a sigh. "He's probably fucking up my entire life as we speak."
"Can it really get anymore fucked up?"
"It's Seth." I said looking at him. "Anything is possible."
"True dat." Quil nodded. "Just try to stay positive. He could be fucking up my life instead."
"Thank you, that makes me feel better." I smirked and he sighed.
Suddenly he was on his feet, his eyes alert. I chuckled noticing the scent of my sister and Leah quickly approaching the house.
"Sit down." I pulled him down and patted his shoulder. "Be cool."
"I can't." He shook his head. "What if she starts asking questions? I can't lie for shit."
"Yes or no answers are the key. If you can't answer just smile." I nodded at him and watched as Adryen and Leah entered the yard. "Be cool…."
"Hey guys." Leah said smiling like she was up to no good. Quil and I both nodded at her. "I hear my brother is running defense for you?"
"More than likely he's just fucking shit up…" I answered honestly.
"He seemed to be handling things well." Adryen nodded. "Well while I was there anyway. Though it is Seth, anything could happen." Quil nodded.
"So what happened while you were there?"
"Same craziness as usual." Adryen replied.
"Apparently the Princess is having problems keeping her hands to herself." Leah said with a smirk. Quil looked at me and I pretended not to notice.
"That…is crazy…"
"Yeah when I got there, she was trying to smooze Emmett, but he declined… it was very surprising." Adryen went on. "Thankfully though she wasn't having one of those emotional episodes or he probably would have taken her up on the offer right there in the front yard."
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked trying not to sound angry.
"You asked what happened, I was just answering." Adryen smirked. "But really it wasn't a big deal, Emmett said she was just joking, but really you never know with Lexi."
"Right?" Leah nodded. "Like that whole thing with Jasper…." I looked at her. I hated how they did this. I was like they were reading from a script, giving each other prompts.
"I know... oh my gosh…" Adryen shook her head. "Had I been Alice Id have killed her."
"But it wasn't a big deal. She was emotional. He couldn't help it." They both looked at me.
"Well aren't you going to ask?" Adryen prompted.
"Not my business…" I said trying to believe it.
"Oh you're no fun at all." Leah laughed.
"Really Jake. It was nothing, completely past tense."
"She was probably with Emmett then." Leah nodded.
"Yeah he was the one to explain what happened."
I wasn't going to ask, I knew they were baiting me.
"The usual. Lexi gets all emotional…. Trips and falls on some unsuspecting victim…." Adryen told me anyway.
"It happens." I said forcing myself not to look at Quil.
"Yeah." Adryen nodded. "She told me what happened at school today." It was only then that Quil looked up.
"The big trip and fall." Leah made quotations with her fingers.
"I can't imagine what that Van guy must have thought." Adryen sucked in her breath. "Which by the way, I'd like to meet this guy, I hear he smells amazing." Quil and I looked at each other.
"You think he tastes the same?" Leah asked making this conversation even weirder than it already was.
"I don't know, I'm sure Liz will find out eventually…"
That comment made me look at her.
"What do you know about Liz?"
"More than I could ever care to know." Adryen said looking at me with disgust.
"She's a dirty whore for sure." Leah nodded like she was there or something.
"Where you there?" I asked just curious.
"No, Adryen caught me up on the latest gossip. It's all so crazy. I can't even believe that someone would even say that to you." She cringed.
"Sunshine saw the note, she explained it to me… so you can only imagine how it sounded coming from her."
"Oh…god…" I breathed and rubbed my forehead.
"Least Seth doesn't have the other note." Quil said speaking for the first time. I looked at him and smirked.
"True dat."
"There was another note?" Adryen asked looking at Quil.
"No." He answered then smiled nervously.
"Anyway…." I said waving my hand in the air. "So Sunshine saw the note… does that mean Lexi read it too?" I gestured with my finger. "Not the … you know …that part… the other side… what I said?"
"I don't know, I didn't get a chance to ask." Adryen said making a sighing sound. "Lexi was acting really weird. Anytime I came near her she hid behind Emmett. It was like she was afraid of me or something…"
"Why would she be afraid of you?" Leah asked. "That's kind of suspicious…"
"You know what… it really is." Adryen said like she was thinking about it then looked at me. "Any idea why she would act like that?"
"Nope." I started shaking my head.
"Quil?" She asked looking at him.
"Nope…." He shook his head too.
"She told me what you did." Adryen said after a few moments of silence. Quil looked up at her and suddenly I realized what was happening.
One moment she said Lexi wouldn't talk to her and now she's saying she had. That could mean only one thing. Lexi told her everything and now she was going to make Quil spill it.
"Dude." I breathed and looked at him. There was no way I could warn him.
"It was really sweet." Leah continued, obviously in on the trickery. "That you get detention for helping out a friend." Quil looked at me and I started shaking my head.
"Oh my god this is ridiculous…"
"What's ridiculous is that you stood there and did nothing." Adryen said giving me a shameful look.
"I didn't even know it was happening." I defended.
"That's right because you were all over Seth." She said it loudly and I knew it was only because Dad was right there on the other side of the door. I grumbled when the door opened and he gave me one of those looks.
"I think it's time we have a serious talk boy."
"We were fighting…." I defended and in order make it sound better added, "About Lexi…"
"What about Lexi?" Dad narrowed his eyes at me. "What'd you do to her?"
"Bad things." Quil said outloud, shaking his head frantically. "I wanted to do bad things to her." Everyone looked at him.
"Jesus Christ….Quil…" I shoved him and he got to his feet.
"I didn't mean to think such horrible things, but I did and I am so so sorry!" Like a pitiful fool, he threw himself on the ground at Adryen's feet. "Please don't hate me…"
"Damn it." Leah cursed and pulled money out of her pocket, handing it over to Adryen who smirked.
"Do I know him or what?" Adryen kicked at Quil. "Get up, you idiot…"
"I knew it…" I laughed and shook my head.
Quil got to his feet and looked at her. She patted his face and kissed him on the cheek.
"Obviously you all need more help than I can provide." Dad said glancing at them then looking at me. "I hear they have amazing doctors in Utah, Im gonna go look that up." He shook his head at me and disappeared back inside the house.
"Lexi told you everything didn't she?" I asked smirking at Adryen.
"She did." Adryen nodded and looked at Quil. "Including the fact that you told her not too."
"I'm never talking to her again." Quil sighed. "She is dead to me."
"Good." Leah smirked. "Then maybe you can stop picturing her naked."
"I don't do that…" Quil gasped, and then stuttered. "I wouldn't… I don't… I didn't… want too…"
"Okay stop." I said clapping my hands together. "From this point on it would be great if we could not discuss Lexi in any kind of…naked….way…" I sucked in my breath because I could not control the images that came into my head.
"You just distracted the hell out of yourself, didn't you?" Leah smirked.
"I…" started shaking my head and cleared my throat. "What?"
"You're pathetic.' Adryen rolled her eyes.
"Oh Im pathetic?" I glanced at Quil who bowed his head.
"He's just a good boy." Adryen put her arm around him and patted his head.
"He's a pussy is what he is."
"Takes one to know one." Quil said giving me a look.
"I ain't no pussy."
"You would be if you were getting any." Leah smirked and Quil laughed.
It wasn't amusing but only because it was true.
"Yeah well I don't have to get it. Im gonna be like Quil and just think about it."
"That was low bro…" Quil sucked in his breath.
"As low as it gets." Seth's voice echoed from the trees and he appeared suddenly. He slung his shirt over his shoulder and grinned. "That's what she said."
"Who?" I was the only one to ask because everyone else probably didn't wanna know
"The Princess." Seth winked at me and looked at Quil.
"In response to what?" I had to ask my dirty mind made me. Seth smirked and looked at Quil.
"Touching someone's lower back. Sunshine asked how low." Quil sucked in his breath.
"She left out that little detail." Adryen said giving him a look.
"So she did tell you?" Seth asked with a smirk.
"She said she touched him, she did not say where."
"So what?" I asked rolling my eyes. "A back's a back, it could have been worse." Adryen dropped her arm down Quils back and I wasn't sure exactly what she did but it made him shudder. "Well okay then…" I focused my attention on Seth who grinned widely.
"Boy have I got some shit to tell you."
"Well go on with it."
"I'm actually not supposed to tell you anything at all, so instead Im gonna tell Adryen what happened when she left and you can pretend you're not listening." He gave me a wink and looked at Adryen. "You missed the best conversation that I have ever been involved in, in my entire life."
"What was the topic?" She asked looking afraid of the answer.
"Kinky sex." He smirked and her eyes widened.
"What…." Leah asked with the same expression. "Who's? Is this about Emmett?" She looked at Adryen who looked away.
"That would be your first thought." Seth said looking at her then nodding. "But yeah he was involved."
"Do I want to hear this?" I asked giving him a glare.
"Not only does it involve the Hulk, it involves embarrassing the hell out of Edward and Jasper pretending to be an Ups delivery man. Now tell me if you want to hear it or not?"
I couldn't help but be curious about it….
"Well I'm not listening, but Adryen would like for you to continue…."
"An Ups delivery man?" Adryen asked looking confused.
"Wait for it." Seth held up his hand. "So I can't remember before this, but someone, I think it might have been Lexi… could have been Sunshine…either way the fact was revealed that Edward was a kinky whore." He looked at each of us letting the fact sink in.
"Edward…Cullen?" Quil asked the question on my mind.
"Yeah, he acts like a total prude right? WRONG." Seth looked way too excited about telling his story. "Apparently Mr. Perfect transforms into Daddy Dirty behind closed doors."
I was almost certain I did not want to hear this.
"He likes to describe his feelings, what he's feeling and various other body parts with vulgar words that would put Liz Reed to shame."
Damn…. I couldn't even imagine that nor did I want too ever.
"Are you saying that Edward Cullen likes to talk dirty?" Again it was Quil who asked.
"That is exactly what I am saying." Seth smirked.
I had no comment, I couldn't figure out if I was shocked or disturbed.
"Seriously?" Leah asked the same shocked expression as the rest of us. "Edward Cullen?"
"So serious."
"That's the most disturbing thing I have ever known…." Adryen looked sick.
"Wait for it, you about to know a hell of a lot more." Seth grinned. "After embarrassing the shit out of Edward, I decided it would be fun to get everyone to divulge their kinkiness. Ofcourse I asked The Hulk first, I mean when you think of kink you think Hulk, right?"
"Yeah that's my first thought…." I rolled my eyes. Adryen and Leah looked to their feet.
"He likes to do the whole vamp thing, you know bite, be bitten, he said he wasn't picky about it." Seth explained it even though no one asked. Though judging by the illicit girly sound Leah made, she was very interested in the revelation. Adryen giggled and Leah sighed loudly.
"And you people think I'm a freak?" Seth shook his head at his sister.
"Obviously its genetic." Quil mused and I laughed.
"What about Jasper?" Leah asked in a mocking tone giving Adryen this look that I found quite disturbing. She glared at her and looked away.
The fuck…was that…
"Jaz." Seth snickered. "He was all about sharing. Seems role playing is his thing."
"Ups delivery man?" Quil smirked.
"Package delivered, payment negotiable….."
"That is really…." I couldn't find the right word.
"Inspiring?" Quil smirked and I looked at him unable to hide the same expression.
"Pretty much…"
"It's not inspiring…" Leah looked completely weirded out by it. "It's…"
"Weird." Adryen breathed. "It's weird…just weird…."
"It's not weird." Seth smirked. "He plays policeman and firefighter too." I laughed trying not to think about what sort of lines he had for those roles.
"He always has had quite an imagination…" I shook my head.
"Speaking of imagination. Guess what Sunshine's kink is?" Seth grinned widely at me.
"You mean guess how many she has?" Quil asked and I laughed.
"Apparently a lot. " Seth nodded. "She couldn't even think of one, but Big D who by the way shares the Hulk's biting fetish…" He looked at Leah when he said it and she just looked to her feet. "Yeah… so Big D was able to point out the most obvious of Sunshine's issues." He looked at me. "One in which Jake is most accustomed too and probably is the reason it started to begin with." I just smirked, knowing exactly what he was talking about.
"Half nakedness." Quil said it outloud.
"How is that a kink?" Adryen asked.
"Imagination." Seth answered. "Half nakedness only inspires thoughts of pure nakedness." He threw his shirt at her and held up his hands. "You see the chest and you wanna see the rest." She made a disgusted face.
"I totally get that." Leah nodded then looked at me. "Not in your case though."
"Bet if I sparkled you'd look." I said winking at her. She rolled her eyes.
"Burn." Seth snickered then looked at me. "So yes that is kinkiness of our friends, did I miss anyone?"
"Lexi." Quil answered like an idiot. Adryen looked at him. "Not that I care to know…."
"Dude…." Seth laughed at him.
"Go on Seth, tell us about the Princess… obviously someone needs more to think about." Adryen shoved Quil and he sighed.
"Jake you want to explain this one?" Seth asked giving me a wink.
"That's okay." I said looking at Quil. "I'll just think about it."
And I did think about it. She was all about the roughness. Biting, clawing, hair pulling… she was viciously kinky and I liked it a lot. I remembered the first time she grabbed me by the hair, and every single time after that. It made me crazy every time she did it, it was clearly the best way to get my attention,
Unfortunately in that moment my attention was disturbed when Seth pulled on my hair. I ducked and quickly got to my feet.
"Jesus Christ Seth." I pulled my hair back and looked at him, he was laughing.
"Clearly that is what you were thinking about." He laughed again. "Though Im sure Lexi does it better than me."
"Really…." Adryen made a face.
"Yeah really." Seth nodded as if she had asked a question. "That's her thing." He looked at me and smirked. "And Jakey likey."
"Bet Edward's dirty talk is no longer the most disturbing thing you've ever known." Leah looked at Adryen and laughed.
"Don't you ever do that again." I grumbled and pointed at him. "Ever."
"Just obeying orders."
"Who's orders?"
"The Princess of course." Seth gave me a wink. "Im also supposed to kiss you." He grinned widely and hooked his fingers at me.
Momentarily distracted by his comments, I barely noticed the front door open. Seth snickered and moved towards me.
"Come here pretty boy."
"Kiss me?" It was a question, nothing more and I wasn't paying any attention to anything but that comment, wondering if she really said that.
"Naw dude, not in front of your dad." Seth's voice broke my thoughts and I looked up to find my Dad staring at me. Adryen, Quil and Leah started laughing. I looked at Seth then I looked at Dad.
"It's not….what…you think…" I didn't know what to say and apparently Dad didn't either because he went right back in the house without a single word. I glared at Seth.
"I was wrong for that, I know." Seth laughed at himself.
"Did you see the look on Billy's face?" Leah had to take a deep breath to try to contain her laughter.
"And Seth was so serious about it." Adryen snickered.
"I have my moments." Seth smirked.
"You're all freaks." I said not amused. "All of you."
"Hey I didn't say anything." Quil defended.
"No, you were probably just THINKING about it." I mocked. He sighed loudly, knowing that it would take a long time before we let that shit go.
"I'm sorry dude." Seth said moving towards me. I held my hand up and he chuckled.
"Did she really say that?" I had to know for sure.
"Sure did." He gave me a wink. "Could be a specially placed kiss if you're a good boy." He tried to pat my head but I moved away. "She'll have take care of that one, that's where I draw the line."
"Bout time you have a line." Quil smirked.
"Clearly it's not a straight one." Leah snickered.
"You mean queerly?" Adryen asked and they all laughed.
"Ha Ha Ha Ha fuck you." Seth rolled his eyes and looked at me. "Bitches be hatin." I had to laugh because he sounded really gangster yet looked like an innocent school boy.
"You ain't right…"
"Says my dirty dirty dawg." He smirked and lightly punched my shoulder. "Don't forget, we never had this conversation."
"I'm starting to wish we hadn't." I said with a smirk. "What else did Lexi say?"
"Just that she'd see you at school tomorrow, that's actually the only thing I was supposed to tell you. She probably plans on handling the kissing and hair pulling herself."
"I would prefer it that way, no offense."
"None taken." He said slyly. "I know how you feel about me, you don't gotta prove it. However I would appreciate a little thank you for handling your business, as I am the most awesome Seth in the world."
"You are definitely the best Seth I've ever had." I said it without thinking and looked up to make sure Dad hadn't appeared like he always does when I say something that sounded off.
"Awwww dude…" He grinned and did the shoulder punch thing again. "It was my pleasure."
"Pun intended?" I asked.
"Ya damn right."
Emmett's POV
And here I thought talking to Sunshine this morning was the weirdest conversation I'd ever have. Nothing could have prepared me for the insight into the kinky lives of my brothers. It was weird but totally worth the embarrassment of Edward.
He looked at me from the table where he sat, narrowing his eyes. Jasper laughed probably thinking the same thing.
"You two can stop anytime now."
"What would be the fun in that?" Jasper asked. "Mr. Vulgarity."
"Don't you have a package to deliver or something?" Edward asked with a smirk.
"Nope it's Monday." Jasper said like we were supposed to know what that meant.
"Packages not accepted on Mondays?" I asked for clarification.
"Or Wednesdays and Thursdays."
"What about Tuesdays?"
"You can't handle the Tuesday." He smirked.
"This is the most ridiculous conversation." Edward said shaking his head.
"Really?" I asked. "Were you here earlier?"
"I'm pretending I wasn't."
"Pretend all you want." Jasper said. "But some things cannot be unheard."
"Give me shit for being kinky." I said giving Edward a look. "Least I'm clean."
"Cuz you can't keep your ass out of the shower."
"Ooooh…burn…" Jasper snickered.
"Don't judge me." I said trying to look hurt. "Showerina and I are unloved." Then I laughed because it was just too ridiculous of a comment.
"She dirty?" Jasper asked with a smirk.
"Only if Big D was in there first." I replied unable to finish the sentence without laughing. Jasper was hysterical.
"Okay this conversation wins for most ridiculous." Edward said shaking his head but laughing as well.
"Give it a minute, we may have a challenger…" Jasper mused as Midnight and Patrick walked through the front door.
It kinda sucked that they didn't have a scent. Must be how Patrick knows so much.
"Good afternoon gentlemen." Patrick crooned in that old fashioned tone he had.
"Gentlemen?" Jasper asked looking around. "You must be mistaken."
"Hey!" Midnight whined as she opened the refrigerator. "Someone took my whipped cream."
Yep. Every single one of them looked at me.
"Why's it always gotta be me?" I asked crossing my arms.
"It's okay if you took it." Midnight said with a sly smirk that just made her next comment worse. "But you gotta involve me this time."
Jasper and Edward looked at me and I could not stop the grin from forming.
"There will be none of that." Patrick warned giving me this look.
"Oh come on Patrick dear." Midnight cooed. "It looked like such fun. Alexandrea and Sunshine were slipping around everywhere, even Big Daddy was having a blast."
"This day keeps getting kinkier… and kinkier…" Jasper breathed.
"The only thing kinky about it-"
"Was nothing." I stopped Midnight from saying what I knew she was going to say. "Nothing kinky about it." I looked at Edward who was staring at Midnight. Based on his expression I couldn't tell if she was thinking about it or not.
"If you say so, but really licking anything off someone's finger would be classified as kinky." She went on. "Well I suppose just licking in general."
Jesus Christ… she was worse than Sunshine when it came to wording things.
Edward and Jasper just stared at me.
It was then Lexi came into the room, straight to the refrigerator.
"Where's my whipped cream?" Midnight prompted as Lexi grabbed a drink and closed the door.
"Yours?" She asked giving Patrick a look and he just started shaking his head. "Im sorry Midnight I kind of threw it out. Seth had it and I was trying to prevent impending chaos."
"I appreciate that." Patrick nodded.
"Oh does he tend to run rampant with whipped cream as well?" Midnight asked and Lexi just looked at her.
"He probably would if given the chance." Edward answered looking at Lexi who stuck her tongue out at him.
"Anyway…." She sighed and looked at Midnight. "I'll stop at the store after school tomorrow and get you some more."
"Make sure you get rid of the receipt." Jasper smirked. She glared at him.
"Don't worry about it." Midnight sighed. "I'm more of a chocolate syrup kind of girl anyway."
Everybody looked at her and more than likely thought hard about that comment.
I admit I wondered for a brief moment what chocolate would taste like.
Edward started shaking his head.
"Where's Cullen?" Patrick asked changing the subject.
"In the living room." Lexi replied heading for the door. "Where I'm going right now."
"I'll come with you." I said getting to my feet and leaving the kitchen before she did.
"I'm learning way too much today." Lexi said coming into the room and sitting down on the couch.
"Aint that the truth." I smirked and sat down beside her.
"I wearned how to make a spayship." Cullen said from the floor where he continued to draw.
"Cool, can I see?" I asked and he rummaged through some papers.
"Dis is mine." He handed me a paper with a pretty good drawing of a spaceship on it.
"This is pretty impressive."
"Isn't it though?" Lexi beamed and looked at Cullen. "Show him Mr. D's."
"Mr. D?" I asked looking at her as he searched through his papers again.
"Adryen thought Big Daddy was inappropriate for someone his age to say."
"It's inappropriate for any age, if you want my opinion." I smirked.
"Mr. D's spayship." Cullen announced giving me a paper with a drawing that looked nearly identical to the first.
"Hmmm…." I looked at Lexi then at Cullen. "You got talent little dude."
"I know…righ?" Cullen chuckled. "Nothing but awesome."
"He sounds more and more like Sunshine every day." I shook my head and looked at Lexi who laughed.
"Atleast he had Patrick to teach him manners. Sunshine and I would have ruined him." She laughed again and nonchalantly rubbed her stomach. I knew exactly what she was thinking based on the expression on her face. She looked at me and I tried to think of something encouraging to say.
"Well Im sure… between the lot of us… we could have managed…." I don't know if that was helpful or not, she just sighed and looked back at Cullen. It was quiet for a few minutes then suddenly she made a gasping sound. Instinctively I reached for her. "Are you okay?" She just smiled and took my hand, placing it on her stomach. I felt the movement immediately and looked at her.
Damn shit just got real….
"Did you feel it?" She asked her eyes lighting up. I had no words, so I just nodded.
"What are you feeling now?" Jasper asked coming into the room, Edward right behind him.
As if I were guilty of something horrible I jerked my hand back and moved away from her.
"The baby kicked." Lexi explained.
"Yeah?" Edward asked having the same light in his eyes as she did. He moved towards the couch and sat between us, his hand resting on her stomach.
"Can you hear it?" She asked looking at him. "You know like you could with Cullen?"
"I haven't." He told her. "I can't hear your thoughts, so I would assume…"
"Right." She nodded and sighed.
That reminded me of the whole wolf DNA vision thing, which I realized would sound ridiculous if said out loud, so I started thinking about it. Edward pulled back from Lexi and turned towards me.
"Hmmm…" He said.
"Hmmmm…" I repeated.
"Hmmmmmmmmmm…." Jasper mused causing Cullen to look at all of us with a funny expression.
"Promise me Cullen…" Lexi said looking at him. "When you grow up don't be like these people."
"I prowmise." Cullen nodded. "Im gonna be wike Mr. D."
"Hmmm…." It was Lexi's turn to wonder.
"Who's Mr. D?" Jasper asked looking confused.
"That guy." Edward mumbled.
"Why can't we just have one name per person?" He asked. "I'm mean seriously. I only have one name."
"Sometimes we call you Jaz." Lexi commented.
"That's just shortening my name. It's like calling Emmett, Em."
"Don't ever do that." I said shaking my head.
"And Edward Eddie or Lexi Lex." Jasper looked at her. "That's your wrestling name by the way. The Great Lexi Lex."
"Right like I could ever be a wrestler." She laughed. "I can't do anything with my bare hands."
"Your thoughts Hulk?" Jasper grinned.
"Shut up." Lexi snapped and looked at Cullen who was paying really close attention to the conversation.
"Really." Edward mused. "His thoughts are not appropriate."
"I wasn't thinking about anything." I defended, looking at Lexi. "Seriously…."
Then I thought about it.
"He is now." Edward smirked.
"Shut up."
"You guys are disgusting…." Lexi rolled her eyes. "Cullen…"
"I know." He replied. "Don't be wike dese people."
"We're not bad people." I replied.
"With the exception of Edward." Jasper smirked. "He's a pretty bad boy…."
"Like you're one to talk." Lexi gave him a sly smirk. "Mr. U.P.S."
Edward and I laughed.
"I think Jaz just got a new nickname."
"Don't hate me cuz you aint me." Jasper smirked.
"Im sure the Hulk has enough fun being himself." Edward said giving me a look.
"Your thoughts Lexi?" Jasper grinned. She just shook her head.
"Did mommy give you my pitcher?" Cullen asked randomly.
"What picture?" Lexi asked looking at him.
"I dwraw you a pitcher cuz you were sad."
"Awww…" She cooed. "That's so sweet. I haven't seen it, mommy probably got distracted."
"She does that." Cullen sighed. "Aw da time." We all laughed because it was the truth.
"She probably left it in my room. I can go look…"
"I do it." He got to his feet and started up the stairs.
"Don't bother your momma." Lexi called to him. "She's putting Mr. D down for a nap."
"Aw da time…." Cullen mumbled as he moved up the stairs.
"Aw da time…." Jasper repeated and laughed. "That kid…. Love that kid."
"He's a keeper." Lexi mused and like before when a kid was mentioned, she instinctively rubbed her stomach. "Ooooh…" She grabbed Edwards hand and held it against her stomach. "You feel it?"
"I did." He nodded, his face lighting up again. It was kind of weird how excited he looked about it.
"Your excitement is suspicious." Jasper noted and I looked at Edward.
"How so?" He asked both hands now pressed against Lexi's stomach.
"It's almost like it's your kid."
"I assure you its not."
"Are you sure you just don't remember?" Jasper smirked.
"Ha Ha." Edward rolled his eyes and turned away from Lexi.
"He's just excited that's what friends do." Lexi said rolling her eyes. "Aren't you excited?"
"Not excited enough to be feeling you up."
"Do you wanna be?" Lexi cooed with a smirk.
"I walked right into that one." Jasper laughed. "The Great Lexi Lex wins again."
"Seems U.P.S. is off his game today." I smirked.
"Ofcourse." Edward mused. "It's Monday, wait til tomorrow."
"What happens tomorrow?" Lexi asked looking between us as we chuckled.
"He got a package to deliver." I said giving her a wink.
"I don't know why I asked…." She made a face and sighed as Cullen came back down the stairs.
"Here Dwexi." He said moving quickly towards her and giving her a paper.
"Ooooh…how cute…" She cooed as she looked at the drawing. It was of a house surrounded by several people and one dog.
"It's our house and our family who wiives here."
"I see that. Mommy, me… Mr. D, Patrick, Midnight… Emmett…" She tapped a stick figure that was twice the size as the rest of them and looked at me.
"Nice…"
"Wait…." She cocked her head to the side. "We don't have a dog….. do we have a dog?" She looked at Cullen. "Your momma didn't buy you a dog did she? Please tell me she didn't…"
"It's no dog." Cullen said looking a little angry about it. "It's your baby."
"My…baby…" She looked at the paper again then looked at me. I just raised my eyebrows.
Looked like a dog to me….
"Did you dream about my baby?" She asked looking at Cullen again.
"No." He sighed. "Everyone ask me dat…" She sighed as well.
"Thank you Cullen, I love it."
"You take to school, so you have us aw da time." He said nodding at her. She looked at him, her expression proved she was touched. Her scent proved how much. I put my hand on Edwards shoulder as she got to her feet.
"Excuse me…." She was out of the room before anyone had time to react.
"I make her sad…again…" Cullen looked upset.
Jasper crossed his arms and started tapping his fingers. Edward sat there with his eyes closed. I looked at Cullen.
"She's not sad…"
"Yes she is." Cullen whined. "Her smell differwent when she sad."
"Hmmmm…" I could bring myself to say anything else. Edward opened his eyes and looked at me.
"Its different…" He made a sound like he was clearing his throat. Lexi hadn't stayed long enough for her effects to take on drastic changes in our behavior. "Its different for him."
"Good…." Jasper said dropping his arms. "Good….that's good."
"She's okay Cullen." Edward said pulling him into his lap. "Sometimes she just gets sad because…um…" He looked at me.
"Um….." I didn't know what to say. "Hormones?"
"What's hormone?" He asked looking at me. I shrugged. I don't know how to talk to kids.
"It's a feeling." Edward explained. "And …um… her baby …makes her feelings change …sometimes…because…that's what….babies do?" He made a face obviously realizing he made no sense.
"Okay." Cullen nodded, accepting the answer without hesitation.
"Okay…." Edward nodded and Cullen went back to the floor.
"You're a really good Daddy." I said wishing I would have thought it instead.
"You would say that when I can't make the appropriate comment." Jasper looked at me and chuckled.
"Yeah well I meant it." I rolled my eyes at him and patted Edward on the shoulder. "In the parental ability kind of way."
"I understood." Edward replied. "And thank you."
"Awwwww such a sweet moment." Jasper cooed.
"No." Lexi said coming back into the room followed by Patrick. "I'm not doing that."
"Alexandrea you know I would do anything for you. Why is it that you will not return the favor?"
"Because I don't want to do that."
"Why not? It's rather enjoyable."
What the hell….
"Maybe for you." She said rolling her eyes. "Ask Midnight."
"She doesn't care for it."
"Well ask one of the guys." She pointed at us. "Maybe they'll do it."
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, but I aint doing it." Jasper started shaking his head.
"Ditto." I nodded.
Edward just laughed. Obviously he knew more than we did, because this shit was not funny.
"Maybe Sunshine can do it?" Lexi went on. "She's into that kind of thing."
"That would just be weird." Patrick shook his head. "I don't think Midnight would approve."
"And she approves of me?"
"She suggested I ask you."
"Did she?" Lexi grumbled.
"I will make your favorite dinner…." He said giving her a sly look. "Lasagna, homemade sauce, stuffed with five different cheeses…." Lexi bit her lip and looked at him.
"With those breadsticks with the garlic butter sauce?"
"Anything you want." He answered quickly. She sighed.
"Okay, you got a deal."
"Eight oclock, we will have dinner first." He started to turn around, then pointed at her. "Wear something black maybe some lace and red lipstick is a must." Edward started laughing again.
"I want dessert too." She said as he turned for the kitchen. "Peach cobbler and ice cream."
"You will have dessert when it's over." He nodded and left the room. She sighed loudly and looked at Edward who shook his head as he laughed.
"Why are you laughing?"
"You have no idea how horrible that conversation sounded." He chuckled and pointed at me and Jasper. "The thoughts in their heads…oh my god…"
"What do you mean horrible?" Lexi asked looking at me. "How could Patrick make a conversation sound horrible?"
"You don't want to do it. It's only enjoyable for him." I held up one finger with every sentence." Midnight doesn't like doing it. It would be weird if Sunshine did it. You get dinner first… black …lace…red lipstick…."
"You'll have dessert when it's over…" Jasper added.
"Jesus Christ." Lexi breathed. Edward started laughing. Then Lexi laughed as well. "… okay I can see that."
"I don't get it." Cullen said getting to his feet. We all looked at him. "What are you doing wid Mr. Patwick?"
"We are going to a gothic gathering." Lexi explained. Cullen made a face and went into the kitchen without a word.
"What…"
"A gothic gathering, its like some sort of weirdo convention, I guess a party. You have to dress the part."
"Hmmmm…." Jasper pondered.
"I would have never pegged Patrick as a goth type guy." I said still not sure of it.
"Oh yeah. Underneath the classy man lies the heart of a stone cold weirdo."
"That is so unreal…" Jasper shook his head. It was pretty unreal.
"See Jaz you just lost your chance to dress up." Lexi winked at him. "A bit of role playing with a fairy."
"Ha ha…" Jasper rolled his eyes. "For no reason other than pure curiosity… how exactly are you gonna dress?"
"Pure curiosity?" Edward smirked. "Pure?"
"Shut up." Jasper snapped and looked at Lexi.
I was pretty interested as well…. pure curiosity and all.
"I have no idea…." Lexi sighed.
"Do you still have that black tank top that Jake ripped across the front?" Edward asked giving her a look.
I always pretended to hate that shirt.
"Hmmm…."
"That with your black skirt and Rose's boots." Edward continued. "Maybe some kind of lacy gloves or something…"
"Im impressed." Lexi said looking at him. "You are really good at dressing people."
"As compared to undressing people?" Jasper smirked.
"Yeah he's good at that too." She winked at him and disappeared up the stairs. Jasper and I looked at him.
"Don't hate me cuz you aint me."
Edward's POV
It was after seven oclock in the evening, Jasper and I were still at Drea's house. Neither of us would admit it, but we wanted to see what two gothic fairies would look like.
"Cullen's asleep." Sunshine announced as she came down the stairs. She looked around the room, her eyes widening and she smacked Emmett on the shoulder. "Where's Whitney?!"
"Chill." Emmett said laughing. "Whitney is at the store with Uranus." She snorted and slapped his arm.
Sometimes it was best not to pry into the mind of Sunshine, but it was always hard not too.
That guy was Whitney for some reason or other… I was still lost on the Uranus part.
"What the hell?" Jasper asked looking between them then at me.
"That guy is Whitney." I answered. "I can't figure out Uranus." Sunshine started laughing and slapping Emmett's arm again. "Why do you call him Whitney?" I asked looking at Sunshine making a mental note never to say Uranus again.
"Why are you still here?" She asked ignoring my question.
"He's waiting to see Lexi all decked out in black."
"That is not…why Im here."
"That's why Im here." Jasper admitted. "I aint gonna lie."
"Bet shes freaky deaky." Sunshine said looking up the stairs. "I saw some strange man coming out of the bathroom all half naked like…" She trailed off like she forgot what she was saying. Her thoughts were of this half naked man in a towel, black hair, walking away.
"Who is that?" I asked wide eyed.
"Who is what?" She asked snapping out of her trance.
"The half naked guy…"
"Oh I don't know." She shrugged. "I didn't ask questions."
"Some stranger walks out of your bathroom half naked and you didn't ask questions?" Jasper asked giving her this weird look. "Didn't ask what he was doing?"
"Well obviously he was taking a shower." Sunshine replied. "He had a towel…." She started thinking about the towel.
"Obviously it was Patrick." Emmett said looking at us like we were all crazy.
"He had black hair." I explained.
"Is he not going goth tonight?"
"Okay that makes sense…" I said nodding.
"Patrick really?" Sunshine asked. "I was not aware that he was built that way."
"What way is that?" It was Jasper who asked because Emmett and I knew better.
"The yummy way." She answered. "Like a lollipop."
"Really Jaz, you had to ask?"
"I didn't think…"
Midnight came in the room from the kitchen carrying a jar of what looked like peaches. She handed it to Emmett and he looked up at her.
"Open." Was all she said.
"How many times do I have to tell you?" Sunshine said looking at her. "Uncle Emmett is my servant not yours." She looked at him. "You may open the jar." Emmett shook his head slightly amused and opened the jar before handing it to Midnight.
"May I say thank you?" Midnight asked looking at Sunshine.
"Yes you may."
"Thank you… Emmett." She said giving him this look that could only be described as seductive. Emmett raised his eyebrows and gave her that dimpled grin of his.
"Hey!" Sunshine swatted at her. "I said you could say thank you, not undress him with your eyes. That is my job."
"Sounds like some body ate a peanut bitter and jealous sandwich." Midnight said bobbing her head. "With a side of hater tots."
"That's just nasty." Sunshine said shaking her head. "I would never eat such things." She slapped Emmett's arm when Midnight looked at him again. "Go on nasty get back in the kitchen."
"I wanna live here." Jasper said amused.
"It's an experience." Emmett said with a smirk.
"What did I tell you about mush facing my sister?"
"That sounds so dirty…" Jasper chuckled.
"Uranus will be cut off." Emmett replied and she laughed hysterically.
"Yet not quite as dirty as that…."
"Why are you people always thinking dirty thoughts?" Drea asked coming down the stairs. She was dressed to kill. The slashed shirt was tight, exposing her stomach just enough make a man look. The boots came up to her knees still leaving a foot of exposed skin between them and her skirt which matched the tightness of her shirt. Her arms were covered with black lace that ended just above her black painted nails. I wasn't sure about her hair, I hadn't got that far.
Talk about dirty thoughts. Came Emmett's voice in my head.
"You aint lyin…" I whispered.
"Holy fuck!" Sunshine squealed and ran towards her as she entered the room. "Sexi Drexi." She spun her around and Drea giggled.
"How do I look?" Drea asked then looked at me. I could not form a proper word to save my life, so I just nodded. "Emmett?" She turned around and looked at him.
"Very…." He couldn't find the words either. "Yes…."
"What about you Mr. U.P.S?" She asked looking at Jasper. "This look like something you'd be into?"
His answer was clear. He was totally into it, but he didn't say it. Just stuttered on the word I for about 5 seconds before giving up.
"Holy fucking…" Sunshine stared up the stairs.
"Damn…" Drea finished as Patrick came into the room. Least I think it was Patrick.
He was wearing that net shirt Jake had on the other day. Black leather pants. Lots of spiked bracelets. His once red hair was black and instead of combed back as usual it fell over his eyes. He tossed his head flipping his hair out of his face and held his hands up.
"What do you think?"
"You look…" Drea's mouth hang open slightly and she looked at Sunshine. "What's the word?"
"Biteable." Sunshine nodded and Drea nodded.
"That's…that's…a good word…"
"That is not a word." Patrick said totally oblivious.
"Oooh look at my sexy man." Midnight said appearing out of nowhere. She rubbed his chest and gave him a kiss.
"Bet you wish you were going now, huh?" Drea smirked. Midnight turned and looked at her.
"Ooh and look at Alexandrea." She narrowed her eyes and glanced at Patrick. "Not you, don't look at her."
"I only have eyes for you my darling." He said smoothly.
"What do you have for the rest of us?" Sunshine asked and Drea laughed. He flicked his hair out of his face again.
"Come on, let's get this over with." Drea said taking his hand and pulling him toward the door.
"Behave." He said pointing at Midnight then looking around. "All of you."
"Will you punish me if I don't?"
"Sunshine…" Drea breathed.
I couldn't believe she'd said it out loud.
"You need to stop." Midnight said giving her a glare.
"You gonna make me?" Sunshine asked.
"Oh hell.." Drea sighed as they stepped towards each other.
"Midnight." Patrick said pointing at her. "Promise me you will keep your hands to yourself."
"I can't make that promise."
"Then neither shall I." He replied glancing at Drea.
"Oooooh.." Jasper gasped. "Burn."
"He's just joking." Drea said looking at Patrick. "Right?" He raised an eyebrow and smirked before flicking his hair and leaving the room. Drea stared after him then slowly looked at Midnight.
"He always gets like that when he does the goth thing." Midnight said with a sigh. "Turns him into a total bad boy."
"Maybe you should go with him…" Drea said looking a bit nervous.
"Hell no." Midnight replied making a face. "That shit creeps me out. It's like being in a room full of freaky deaky vampires."
"Excuse me?" Sunshine said giving her a look. We all did.
"I mean like real vampires." Midnight tried to explain. "Some of them have claws and fangs and most of them bite."
Everyone had the exact same thought but it was Jasper who said it out loud.
"So you're saying it's the kind of thing Lexi would be more suited for?"
"Ha Ha." Drea said unamused. "Fuck you."
"Okay, but you're gonna have to cry and make it look like an accident." Jasper said without missing a beat. Drea gasped loudly.
"U.P.S. for the mother fuckin win…" Emmett grinned widely and everyone laughed.