IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE
Before reading on, I beg you guys to READ THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER AGAIN. I made changes because I was not satisfied with the first version of it. I wanted Helga to be this strong character, but it is so obvious that she is crumbling down like a sand castle on a high tide deep down inside, and the previous chapter did not show that at all. So I rewrote it and showed exactly that character: a strong, yet weak woman who needed the comfort that a certain dwarf king could give. Apparently, there still is no smut in there, so sorry to disappoint.
Anyways, I'm gonna stop rambling now so you guys may go on with the story.
Thank you for taking your time to read this!
Unfortunately, the both of them had to get up and leave the small world they've created in that room, and face the dreadful reality that now awaited them. Ironically, despite getting to know each other's bodies rather well last night, when morning came, neither found a word to say to each other after the king's confession. They both just silently stood up and wore their clothes before Helga left and sneaked back to her room. Although they do not know it yet, the both of them are contemplating as to why they are acting this way, despite what they know they feel about each other deep down in their hearts. As Helga stepped her foot outside his door, they were now what they once were; a king and a dragon knight.
Nothing more, and nothing less.
By the time the Company were making sure their boats were ready to use, no one even suspected that something happened between them last night. They went on to their usual business until Thorin's voice caught her attention.
"Not you. We must travel with speed, you will slow us down." Helga turned to look at the exchange between the two, and she frowned as she saw the pinch of hurt in Kili's eyes.
"What are you talking about? I'm coming with you." Kili said, but Thorin held him back once more.
"No." As Fili seemed to notice this, too, Helga felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Ma," She turned to see Amren looking at her. "Oin and I checked on Kili's wounds last night." Helga was supposed to ask how on Arda they managed to do that, when they seemed to drink a whole barrel of ale. But based on the serious tone on her nephew's voice, she decided to joke around later.
"How bad is it?" Helga asked, and Amren sighed.
"His wound seems to have some sort of infection. I've never seen anything like it before, and I'm afraid this has gone beyond the range of regular medical attention. He needs elven medicine." He said, and Helga sighed.
"Is there nothing we can do to at least slow down the infection?" Helga asked, and Amren thought for a while.
"Some Athelas might help, but I am not sure where to find one around these parts." Amren said, and Helga looked at Amren.
"Amren, I need you and Alvor to stay with Kili," Helga said, and Amren seemed to protest on this, but Helga cut him off. "You are the closest that he has to an elven healer. And it will be far safer for you to stay away from the mountain -away from Smaug." She explained.
"But what about you?" Alvor asked, coming up behind his brother. "You expect us to leave you at the hands of Smaug to be killed?"
"You expect me to hand to him what's left of my family on a silver platter?" She countered, and this seemed to shut him up. "He has not grown as weak from the years he has hid in that mountain." Helga said, but Amren and Alvor did not budge.
"If so, then would you not need more men?" Alvor argued, but Helga let out a frustrated sigh and tooke the both of them by their shoulders.
"I can't lose the both of you again!" She exclaimed, gathering a few curious ears from the Company and from the crowd. She shut her eyes and pulled both of them into her tight embrace. "I know that I may die and I know that I am leaving the both of you as I did many years ago, but I must, even if it pains my heart to do so," She said, her voice starting to shake as she did. "You boys are the only family I have left, and it will bring me at least a bit peace in my heart to know that the one thing I did right was to leave you here in Laketown so the both of you can stay alive." She said, and Helga felt two pairs of arms embrace her, too. She shut her eyes, and let a few tears loose, before she reached up and kissed both of her nephews on the forehead.
"I love you both so much. Don't you ever forget that," She said, before pulling away to look at them in the eye. "Take care of Kili, and each other." She said, before letting go and climbing on to the boat. But before the boat was pushed off from the shore, she felt someone take her hand. She turned around to see Alvor holding her hand.
"Promise us that you will come back for us this time." Alvor said, and Helga smiled and gripped Alvor's hand in a way sword brothers or comrades will.
"I promise." Helga said, and Alvor knew that she meant it this time. So, from what little he knew left from his knowledge of Dragon Riders, he did the one thing that he knew will mean a lot to Helga. Still holding her hand, he pressed the back of her fingers to his forehead, letting it linger for a while, before releasing them and nodding to a bewildered Helga. She was so stunned that she did not notice the boat leaving.
"What was that about, lass?" Dwalin, who saw the whole exchange, asked.
"That was the manoh, a gesture of great respect for our people." She said, and Dwalin chuckled.
"After all he did, the moment my fingers touch his forehead, I'll make sure to follow it with a punch." He joked, and the members of the Company chuckled at that. However, Helga did not seem to notice, as she was still dumbstruck from the fact that Alvor has now forgiven her... and respected her.
Helga continued to row at the front of the second boat, heading towards the direction of Erebor. As she did, she cannot help but notice the clench in her chest that travelled all the way to the pit of her stomach as she saw Thorin standing at the front of the first boat, being the the proud and majestic dwarf that he is.
Because that is how a king should be like.
Helga felt another pinch in her chest, but this time, it seemed to knock the air out of her the way a punch to the gut would. Helga only realized it now... He was a king. Whatever actions they did ever since that kiss in Beorn's house was pure stupidity! What on Arda was she thinking?! He was not some regular lad who she can have a fling with! Any form of relationship with him must be taken seriously! And what must the Company think, with them seeing his little act on the river! Valar, they must think of her as some stupid girl who latches on to the first man who gives her the eye! She suddey felt shy and looked down, her rowing not as strong as it used to be.
"Lass, are you alright?" Dori asked from behind her, and she nodded and hummed in agreement, catching up with her previous pace. She could not allow whatever it was between them to happen. It might have been the spur of the moment, but Helga was sure of one thing. What she and Thorin has will not last forever. As they near the mountain, they near the end of his quest. Her own quest will be done the moment that accursed dragon's heart stops beating, and so does his. At that last heart beat from the demon spawn of a creature, whatever they have will be gone. He will become king, and she will just be...
What will become of her once all of this was over?
She has no home, no other family, not even someone she loves, other than her nephews. A small voice inside her told her to just accept Thorin's offer to live in the mountain. But she knew better than to trouble him with her presence there. He will be expected to rule the mountain that he has worked hard to reclaim, and she will eventually leave -either because the dwarves will spurn her for her race, or Thorin will be forced to marry a pure-blooded dwarrowdam, have heirs to his throne, and she will be looked down upon as a consort. Either way, the moment this journey ends, they stand at a fork in the path, and neither of them can take the same way.
It is the inevitable, heartbreaking truth, and all Helga can do is savor the present while she can and steel herself for the end to come.
When they reached the land, they made haste to travel straight to Erebor. As they did, they saw the desolation that Smaug had left , and Helga felt her hand clench on the handle of Blackfyre. As they passed by the barren wastelands, she felt a cold sensation gripping in her heart that she could not shake of.
She was snapped back to reality when Balin held the hand that was clutching Blackfyre with a vice like grip. She noticed that she was not the only one that was seething with silent rage. It might be because majority of the younger ones were left behind, but the Company was silent as they trekked towards Erebor. "Are you alright, lassie? You've been silent as the grave since we left Laketown," He said. Helga knew that he was just trying to keep her spirits up, but she knew that he was feeling at least a degree of sorrow from the memories that are coming back to him. "If you frown any longer, you'll end up looking as old as Thorin." He said, and Helga let out a small smile at that. However, it turned into a sad one as she voiced out the exact thoughts as to why she felt angry at seeing the sight.
"I remember my home," She said, and at that, the Company seemed to pay attention to her every word, for Helga rarely spoke about her home. "Not how the houses blazed with fire or the screams of the children... It was the aftermath." She said, and Balin seemed to grow silent and sullen at that.
"A few months after I left Rivendell, I went straight back home," Helga started, letting out her grief through the steps she took. "I felt unsettled about how my people did not get the funeral they deserved. A Dragon Rider's corpse is supposed to be burnt in a funeral pyre and it's ashes should be scattered on top of a mountain, in the middle of a sea, or sometimes, while flying. So that no magic can bring us back from the dead and that we will be free even in the Spirit Realm. I cannot fathom the thought of just letting the half burnt corpses of my people lie in fields and forests, exposed. So I went back to what used to be my home, and what I saw was simillar to this. The land that used to be green with pastures and wild flowers now degrades into barren lands, the air that used to be so warm, now cold. I was not able to fulfill the part where I had to spread the ashes, for I had no dragon to help me reach high places that high with the ashes of a hundred people. So I spent a fortnight just digging the ground for the graves of my people. I barely ate nor slept and dug their graves with blood, sweat and tears. I had to pour oil on over hundreds of corpses and burn them until they were ash, and bury all of them. I burried my grandmothers, my grandfathers, my parents, friends, my betrothed -everyone I ever knew and ever loved. I had to do it to know that I did at least one right thing." She said, her eyes now with unshed tears of rage and sorrow. The whole Company now stopped in their tracks as they overlooked the ruin that Smaug had left while listening to Helga's tale. As she stopped, they looked at her with pity, and a new found admiration for her. Gloin, surprisingly, was the first to speak up.
"It was not your fault, lass..." He said, Dwalin nodded.
"Aye. You can't blame yourself for something that cannot be stopped." He said, and Helga looked at them and nodded. It was a small gesture, but to the three of them, it held great meaning. Helga sniffed and treaded on.
"Then why on Arda are we standing here?" Helga said, her spirits suddenly lifted, and so does everyone's. "The longer we stand here, the more that snake inside that mountain of yours grows stronger! Let's get a move on and kill that bastard!" Helga exclaimed, and the Company cheered, moving on. As she looked up, she saw Thorin looking at her, the same new-found admiration in his eyes. She just smiled and nodded to him, before treading on along with the Company.
Helga thanked the Valar for the Hobbit and his keen senses. If not for him, then they would not have seen the way to the secret entrance. Climbing it, however, was a menace. They agreed that Thorin should go first, just in case that all of them do not make it in time. But fortunately, after nearly 2 hours of leaping, hanging, and nearly falling to their deaths, they managed to reach the top, where the secret entrance lay. Helga smiled when she saw the joy and pride in Thorin's face as held up the key to the hidden door.
"Let all those who doubted us rue this day!" He exclaimed, and the Company cheered for it. Dwalin walked up to the wall of stone, and started to touch various parts of the wall.
"Right. We have our key, which means that somewhere, there is a keyhole." He said, and Helga rolled her eyes. Leave it to the dwarves to state the obvious. 'If there's a key, there's a door!' or 'if there's a key, there is a keyhole!'. But as the dwarves searched for the keyhole, Helga felt something stir at the pit of her stomach.
Fear.
She was so close to Smaug -just outside his doorstep. She will not be surprised if he could sense that she was here. Nothing like a scent of a Dragon Rider to rile up a corrupted dragon. Everything felt so surreal, all of the sudden. As she stared into space, all the anger, hatred, and vengeance started to course through her veins and she started to grip the handle of Blackfyre. She will have her vengeance.
She can almost taste it's sweetness.
Helga snapped out of her daze when she heard Thorin exclaim.
"Break it down!" She watched as the dwarves brought down their axes with all their might down om the stone wall, an act of desperation. But it was no use, for their iron forged weapons broke down like brittle biscuits in a royal's tea party.
"It's no good! The door's sealed. It can't be opened by force. Powerful magic on it." Balin said, and Helga's heart broke as she saw the disappointed looks on the Company's face.
"No," Thorin insisted as he reached for the map and read the moon runes out loud. "The last light of Durin's Day will shine upon the keyhole. That's what it says," He looked so confused and so heartbroken as he looked at Balin. "What did we miss, Balin?" He asked, and Balin sighed disappointedly.
"We've lost the light. There's no more to be done. We had but one chance." He said, and the dwarves bowed their heads in despair. "Come away; it's...it's over."
"Wait a minute!" Bilbo exclaimed, and Helga's brows furrowed in disappointment -not at the wasted opportunity, but at the dwarves
Just like that?!
"Thorin...you can't give up now." Bilbo said, and Helga saw Thorin drop the key and retreat with the dwarves. She huffed and looked at Bilbo.
"Stay here and figure things out. I will talk to them." She said, and Bilbo nodded. Helga followed the dwarves and stopped to look at them. They were such a stubborn race, never backing out of their troubles, and now, just because they can't find a hole, they're giving up the chance of getting bsck their home?
"Bullshit!" She exclaimed, and the Company stopped and turned to her. Some looked at her with anger, some in confusion, and some did not mind, still disappointed with the current events.
"Helga, not now." Thorin said, looking like he was not in the mood for a tongue lashing. Helga knew this, but a good tongue lashing is what they all need.
"How dare you give up? How dare you throw away the chance getting back your home?!" She exclaimed, making all of the dwarves look at her. "If this was my home," She said, pointing back at the secret entrance. "If I was standing at the doorstep of my own home, no dragon nor hidden entrance would stop me from taking it back."
"Easy for you to say, lass." Gloin grumbled, and Helga glared daggers at him.
"Aye, easy for me to say because I've lost my whole race," She said, and she stared hard at the dwarves. At the moment, she felt like a mother scolding her children. She would have laughed at this, but maybe in another time. "And the only time that you will know one thing's worth is when you've lost it." She said, her throat constricting. "So I say this to you now. Either you go back down and forget about ever setting out on this quest and grow up as old dwarves who never knew this place's worth... or you wipe those stupid frowns and tears off your faces and end this quest the way it's supposed to end -bathing in triumph over Smaug's blood and with this kingdom's former glory restored!" She exclaimed. When she looked at the Company, she saw them all looking back at her. Not with anger nor disappointment, but a new found determination in their eyes. She saw Thorin walk up to her with an unreadable expression, and she swallowed the lump in her throat, looking at him straight in the eye.
"I know I signed no contract, and swore no oath then, but now, I shall swear that I will make sure that your home is restored as it was once, Thorin Oakenshield." She said with all seriousness. She was surprised, however when Thorin pulled her into his arms in front of the Company. Unsure of what to do, she closed her arms around him. Not because of common courtesy or for show, but because it felt right. Thorin pressed his lips on Helga's temple, and smiled to her skin.
"Thank you, Helga." He said, and Helga smirked and playfully shoved him off of her.
"You should be thankful! I thought I had to march into the mountain myself!" She exclaimed, and Thorin looked at the Company, unaware that he still held her hand.
"I know that this may seem hopeless, but will you follow me once more? What say you?" He asked, and the Company smiled at him, followed by a series of 'aye's . Thorin looked back at Helga, as if he were about to say something, if the hobbit's voice did not cut his train of thought.
"The keyhole! Come back! Come back! It's the light of the moon, the last moon of autumn! Ha ha ha!" They heard the hobbit exclaim. Helga smiled at the look of shock on Thorin's face. It seems that the hobbit never ceased to amaze Thorin. Helga let Thorin go as he raced off back to the hidden entrance. She looked back to see the Company with the same looks on their faces.
"What on Arda are you all standing there for? Bilbo found the entrance, let's get a move on!" Helga exclaimed, and the dwarves scurried to go back tovthe secret entrance. They arrived just in time to see Thorin holding up the key. Helga watched as Thorin inserted the key into the keyhole, and then the sound of various locks being unlocked was heard. Suddenly, an outline of a door that was not there appeared, and the door opened to reveal a tunnel. The dwarves looked in awe as their leader stepped over the threshold.
"Erebor," Thorin said, his voice full of emotion. "I know these walls…these walls, this stone. You remember it, Balin. Chambers filled with golden light." He said, looking at Balin as he clasped the older dwarrow's shoulder. Balin just nodded, his eyes getting misty. Helga smiled, happy that they have now found a way back into their home. However, a cold fear gripped her heart the nearer she went to the entrance. She knew that Smaug was probably hundreds of feet below where she was standing, but Helga can feel the strong, rotten presence of this oddity of a dragon. And miles below, deep in his comfortable slumber, he felt a presence that he has not felt in a long time...
A lone dragon rider has come to seek revenge, and Smaug has never felt more alive and disturbed in his life.
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