Hi there! Here's the next chapter – a shorter one this time but the following will be very, very long again so I think it compensates this one. Thank you all so much for your reviews again. It always feels like getting little presents and I really suck each word in. So feel hugged! I'll be back at Thursday – as always. Have a great time until then, yours Jenna

Translated by Francis

Beta read by SG6169

Adversities

"Our discontent will not let us starve. After all it wants us not to lose our appetite for more."

Ernst Ferstl

It shouldn't look like this – nothing like this. Especially after more than three hundred and eighty years of food evolution. And it certainly shouldn't feel this way: Flabby, soft... no, rubbery. The bread crust wasn't supposed to smoosh this way with your finger, shouldn't spring back to its original form like a sponge. It should crackle and crunch when a knife cut through it, should crumble and break and only very reluctantly disclose its soft, light interior to the eye of the beholder. And it definitely should be warm and smell divine.

I breathed deeply through my nose. No, nothing, certainly no smell that promised anything good. My senses may not work as well as they did when I was a vampire, but the musty smell within these… walls hadn't escaped even me. There were all kinds of new smells around, but none that even remotely smelled like fresh baked bread, at least not the aroma of the freshly baked bread I remembered in the 17th Century. 'Fresh' - there was no way this bulky thing on my plate was fresh and I was really beginning to doubt whether it was pastry at all.

Once again I poked at the strange thing with my finger and observed with a mixture of disgust and fascination as it sprang back into its original shape. I heard a sound of irritation next to me and raised my head to peer into the eyes of my best friend, who looked at me as he shook his head.

"If you keep this up, it'll be evening before you finish breakfast," he said clearly annoyed and then bit into the second half of his buttered and generously loaded cold cut sandwich. That I couldn't count on sympathy from him for my urgent needs right now, he had made quite clear on numerous occasions. It had quickly vanished ten minutes ago and along with the initial loss of sympathy, a noticeable weariness had emerged.

"I remember breakfast being a little different," I replied, and could hardly conceal my disgust at what was spread out before me on the table, sausage in plastic, cheese in plastic, butter in plastic, bread in plastic. It wouldn't have surprised me if somewhere was even plastic in plastic. Certainly no one nowadays would even notice if they accidentally forgot to take the food out before eating it. Just the way the meat looked, it had to taste as artificial as the packaging.

I knew my friends meant well when they set up a small table in an alcove off the living room and prepared, at such an early hour, a hasty breakfast just for me. But as touching as this gesture was and as much as my stomach rumbled and ached, I just couldn't bring myself to eat it.

"Wa don you wike abou the woll?" my friend mumbled with his mouth full and once again I pushed demonstratively into the foamy thing on my plate, giving Mick an exaggerated smile.

"I would've liked it a little more dehydrated," I added a bit sourly. How could he even offer me something like this to try to ward off the hunger pains in my stomach? It bordered on sadism!

"It's six o'clock in the morning, Josef," Beth now joined in, who sat opposite me, giving me a pretty tired impression. "And there aren't any bakers around for miles."

She had already bravely finished off her first and was now adding cheese to her second roll but much less enthusiastically than Mick… or was that sausage? They weren't really that dissimilar in color and shape. Fortunately, my feeble human senses couldn't really tell what horrible smells this stuff must certainly be emitting.

"And where did you get this… 'food' from?" I asked with raised eyebrows to distract from the embarrassing rumbling in my stomach.

"From Eddy," Beth said and then bit into her sandwich with an enthusiasm I couldn't quite understand.

My eyebrows wandered even further in the direction of my hairline. Hey, at least they still worked well as a human being.

"He's the man who's accommodating us," said Simone softly, sitting next to me at the table still struggling with her first baked sponge. "Alejandro's friend."

"Eddy, hugh…" I repeated in a tone that clearly told my friends just how little confidence I had with the name in terms of food choices. "Eddy doesn't seem to think too highly of organic food."

I picked up one of the packaged cold cuts gingerly and turned it over, leaning in to check the fine print on the back.

"Oh, and it's only two days past the expiration date," I stated with mocked joy. "How wonderful!"

I heard Mick let out a deep breathe beside me one more time, but this time I didn't bother looking at him, just leaned back in my chair, and crossed my arms over my chest clearly indicating my refusal. I certainly wasn't going to aggravate my miserable life as a human any further by risking food poisoning. Humans' waste was so disgusting…

"Most foods last longer than what it says on the packaging, Josef," Simone patiently explained to me, took the package in her hand, opened it and sniffed at it briefly. "It still smells pretty good," she said and offered the ham to me.

I shrank back from her in disgust. "Pretty good?" I repeated skeptically and then raised a hand defensively. "No thanks, I'm not hungry anymore."

Unfortunately, my stomach chose that very moment to growl loudly and shamefully gave me away. I wasn't just hungry - my body begged for food and the urge to pounce on these disgusting things and devour them was growing by the minute. My mind found it all terribly revolting - it didn't stand a chance against a body that hadn't ingested solid food in over three hundred and eighty years and was now craving it like never before.

"Well, that's your decision," Mick said in this strange tone of voice that in the past always told me he must have an ace up his sleeve and now I reluctantly had to look at him. His piece of bread was completely gone and he now grabbed mine, put it, under Beth and Simone's wide eyes, on his own plate and cut it in half.

"Just so you know Josef: your refusal to eat will only make you weaker," he continued, reaching for the butter to smear it on the first half of the bread. "And as Gabriel and August have so beautifully mentioned: As long as you're weak, no one can turn you back into a vampire…"

There it was, that nasty ace. And of course it hit the bull's-eye, directly at my worst fear. I reacted almost out of reflex, ripped the buttered sandwich from Mick's fingers without another word, closed my eyes and bit into it. The texture was as bad as I had imagined: soft, chewy, odd. But it didn't taste as bad as it looked – as I soon found out when I started to chew and then my tongue absorbed the taste of butter and bread. Taste… My eyes opened in silent astonishment and turned to the rest of the sandwich I held in front of me as if I had discovered a new wonder of the world. It wasn't that the stuff had tasted all that good, but to taste anything at all, to feel my sense of taste coming back to life again, to get used to human food again was just an unbelievable feeling. Incredible, fascinating, wonderful. I chewed more eagerly and sank my teeth once again into this unhealthy and unnatural thing, while my stomach gurgled satisfied.

"So?" I heard Mick's voice and knew he was smiling happily, even before looking at him.

I gulped down the bite I had in my mouth and took a deep breath. "Disgusting," I replied and couldn't help a wide grin from appearing on my lips.

Mick gave a little laugh and I could see in his eyes he knew exactly what I meant. "And it's going to get even more disgusting," he said as he added ham to the other half of my sandwich.

It almost shocked me when I crammed the rest of the first half greedily into my mouth and readily took the second half from Mick. It was funny, but to taste something that didn't taste that good was better than not tasting something at all. Slowly, I began to understand why Mick would gobble down everything that was put in front of him. He was testing himself, enjoying his re-acquired skill of dividing food into 'good' and 'poor'. I had to admit it - this really was a great feeling, as long as the Salmonella remained hidden in other food and left me in peace…

"Are you going to drink your coffee now?" Mick asked me, still smiling and pointed to the steaming cup beside me, which I had previously rejected with a derogatory sniff stating: "I don't drink instant coffee."

I looked at the brownish broth with great skepticism. The last time I drank coffee, was in a country famous for making this exquisitely aromatic beverage. So I wasn't too sure if I wanted to shock my still so virginal palate with this really cheap stuff.

My gaze wandered over to Beth, who was just now taking a sip and then remained on Simone's relaxed face, who nodded at me encouragingly. She herself had only taken a few sips of her coffee up to now which wasn't very encouraging. Nevertheless, I bravely raised the cup to my lips and drank. The stuff was bitter, thin and not at all what I imagined decent coffee being. I screwed up my face in disgust and put the cup down so fast that some of the brown 'dishwater' spilled.

"God awful," I uttered with a shake of my head and couldn't believe it when Mick himself took a generous sip of his coffee.

"How do you get this stuff down?" I turned in disbelief to him and Beth.

"Well, at least it wakes you up," replied Mick while Beth murmured at the same time a faint "Vicarious satisfaction". She probably thought my human hearing wasn't good enough to hear her little sarcastic remark. But there she was greatly mistaken. My eyes went over to her immediately and my eyebrows twitched upwards as if they had a mind of their own. Beth looked at me, hiding behind her coffee cup, knowing I'd caught her, while from the corner of my eye I saw Mick giving her a small smirk. My mind searched at breakneck speed for an apt comeback something that would make my two friends blush, but in my still quite groggy state of mind I just wasn't quick enough, for there was someone who was faster by a few seconds: Logan. At that very moment, the young vampire opened the door to our apartment and stormed into our little breakfast club with an excited flickering in his eyes.

"He'll do it!" he uttered almost breathlessly as he stopped in front of us and gave us all a small happy smile. Confused I blinked a few times, while Mick turned to him and responded to the little freak with a specific counter-question.

"You've already been in touch with him?"

Logan nodded eagerly, his chest swollen with pride.

"And he's going to do it on our terms?" Mick asked further.

Logan nodded again, but his nod quickly slowed then stopped. "Well, sorta, there's one little catch…"

"Which is?" Mick asked and I couldn't do anything but continue to look from one to the other confused. Apparently I had missed a few very important things during my 'time-out' and I didn't like that at all. Normally, I was the one who planned all the activities - at least those we carried out on a smaller scale.

"He won't come alone."

Mick's eyebrows moved a little towards each other, while I still wondered whom this mysterious "he" could be. Gabriel had a name by now, so it wasn't him.

"Who is it he wants to bring along?" was my best friend's somewhat tense question.

"This Lieutenant Davis."

"Carl?" exclaimed Beth amazed and very slowly it began to dawn on me just what had been planned here behind my back. I couldn't believe it.

"What does he have to do with the whole thing?" Beth asked uncomprehendingly.

"Apparently, he works fairly close with Talbot," Logan said with a shrug.

There it was, the name I dreaded hearing and breathed in audibly enough to draw the others attention back to me at least for a split second.

"You must be kidding!" I exclaimed quickly, before Mick could manage to ignore me again. Now he had to turn towards me and I could tell he didn't like it too much. He knew me well enough to know that this conversation could quickly turn very uncomfortable. But that didn't keep him from seeking a confrontation with me.

"No, I'm not," he replied in a tone that clearly told me how much he had already become attached to his new 'great' plan. "Because we don't have a choice!"

"The police are now officially looking for us," Beth now came to his aid and I gave her a dirty look, trying hard not to let the disturbing content of her words penetrate my mind.

"We really have no choice, Josef, not unless we want to just flit from hideout to hideout. Ben is the only one who can remove us from the police database…"

Logan cleared his throat a little. "Well, yes, maybe just a little faster than I could. And speed is crucial at the moment. But apart from…"

"Stop!" I commanded and raised my hands in a braking gesture so that all my friends actually paused. Apparently I still had enough authority as a human. At least that was one thing I hadn't lost. I screwed my eyes and tried to concentrate, although with all the stress and tension I was under this damned headache had returned. How could Mick stand being human? It was just one long pain in the ass!

"You're trying to arrange a meeting with Talbot?" I repeated what I thought I had just heard and Mick nodded. "When?"

"Today," was the honest, but very unpleasant answer and I had to take a deep breath so as not to burst immediately. Why had they concealed such an important fact from me all this time?

"In three hours to be precise," Logan added and something in his voice told me he was happy with the fact I wasn't the initiator of this daring venture, and had been relegated only a marginal role.

Again it was a deep breath of oxygen that helped me to not lose my temper. "And who's going exactly?" I asked, annoyed.

"Beth and I," Mick confirmed my worst fears. "And Logan will cover our backs."

I let out an incredulous laugh. "This is surely a bad joke!"

"Hey!" Logan protested against the fine criticism of his 'fighting ability' and gave me an angry look, which I studiously ignored.

"We still don't know for sure if it's true that this man isn't working for the Legion," I simply continued. "He could be luring you into a trap!"

"But Alejandro is the one who selected the meeting place," Logan interrupted again and this time tried to impress me with his angry look.

I paused indeed, but more because of the information he had given rather than his assorted facial expressions. "Alejandro is involved in the planning?" I wanted to know from Mick and his nod satisfied me a bit.

"And Gabriel too," he added. "We've not planned this completely headless…"

I raised a slightly skeptically eyebrow toward my best friend. "Well, then please enlighten me. I'm dying to know your plans…"

I had probably addressed the wrong person, because it was Logan who now cleared his throat next to me.

"May I?" he turned to Mick, who nodded in agreement, while I leaned back in my chair and eyed Logan.

"One of Alejandro's co-workers has a small factory on the outskirts of L.A., where he has accommodated refugees from time to time. It has a number of escape routes. In addition, the site can be watched close enough to allow time for an escape and there's a monitoring system outside that can give us an advance warning if unwanted visitors show up. Also Gabriel has called on a few more vampires to keep a look out for suspicious movement from the Legion in and around L.A. and they're ready to report if they notice anything suspicious."

I nodded understandingly, even though I wasn't sure yet how Gabriel's safety net was going to work exactly. That it worked the last time had clearly been proven, otherwise the Legion's reinforcements would have quickly showed up at the clinic and we would have had no chance of escaping.

"And Talbot has agreed to go there?" I asked again.

Logan nodded affirmatively. "I contacted him via WoW and he'll be there. But only with this Davis guy."

"Did he say why?" Mick now asked, as this little detail didn't seem to please him at all.

"From what I understand, the guy is supposed to be his safe guard." Logan shrugged his shoulders slightly undecided. "Furthermore he said Davis could help him elude the group of the Legionaires that are tailing him."

Mick shook his head lightly. "I think he just wants a witness to this conversation. And maybe he really does feel protected with a policeman at his side."

"Do you consider the man trustworthy?" I asked and Mick handed the question over to Beth with a quick glance.

"Actually yes," she replied. "He's always been very thorough and conscientious but also cooperative. And we've been quite helpful to him on some of his cases. He owes us a lot, actually."

"But you can't be a hundred percent sure he doesn't belong to the enemy," I concluded from her words.

Beth hesitated significantly. "I… at least I hope this isn't the case," she said, looking at Mick now indecisively. "I think his loyalties are to Talbot most likely. I just can't imagine Carl being part of the Legion."

Mick nodded thoughtfully. "I don't picture him that way either. But you never know…"

"And you still want to go there?" I asked.

Mick and Beth communicated briefly by glances only and it didn't surprise me when they both nodded almost simultaneously. I, however, could only shake my head.

"Josef, the meeting with Talbot was on our agenda anyway," Mick tried to calm me down a bit. "What's wrong with doing it now, in a situation where Talbot's help is really needed?"

"Maybe the fact that we've only just escaped the Legion by a narrow margin," it immediately burst out of me. "And maybe because the Legion is in a total uproar over it and will have their eyes and ears out everywhere! That it's simply madness to go anywhere near L.A.! That we still don't really know for sure what Talbot's reasons are for this meeting! That in the last few days you've hardly been able to get any rest and barely have the strength or nerves to endure the whole thing." I took a deep breath because the emotionally affects were more than I could tolerate. "And because I'm no longer a vampire and can't help you, Mick," I added a lot quieter and was annoyed by the fact that as a weak human I found it much harder to hide my emotions from others.

My words were followed by depressing silence for a few long seconds. My arguments were good and I could read in their faces they weren't new to them. They'd most likely had the same thoughts already and had probably struggled with these same concerns for a while now.

"The only other alternative would be to sit back and do nothing, to just wait and see what happens," Mick finally said just as softly. "And if you know the Legion, you know that wouldn't be a good idea."

Unfortunately he was right. The Legion was known for their rapid and rigorous actions. This was probably the reason both Alejandro and Gabriel stood behind Mick's decision and supported him. The Legion was counting on us crawling into a hole, hunkering down, like most vampires had done in the past when open season was declared on them. Irrational behavior was currently the best method of surprising and confounding this cowardly gang and the best way to get an upper hand on the situation. Besides, Ben Talbot had clearly hinted in our last conversation that he was interested in collaborating with us and was in no way going to cooperate with the Legion. And so far he had done nothing against us, he had even wore the transmitter we slipped him. He could very well be an important ally if he was really as trustworthy as we all wished him to be.

But wishes weren't facts and we could easily be disappointed. My greatest fear was that Talbot would suddenly and completely change once he finally got what he was after: Mick. It was quite possible that his willingness to cooperate would abruptly end if it all went badly. He could then try to arrest my friend later and take him someplace safe to try and squeeze the information he wanted to know out of him. On the other hand, we could learn more about his motives if we actually took the risk of meeting with him. It was the only way we were going to get to know him better and see if he was friend or foe.

The thought made my stomach contract painfully - or was that rather my persistent hunger? I drew in a deep breath through my nose. "You say this factory is safe," I addressed Logan. "How do you know for sure?"

"There are multiple exits and even an underground tunnel, which has been specially created for an escape and it leads far away from the factory," Logan explained quickly. "I'll position myself at the exit in a van. If all goes well, I'll just pick up Mick and Beth in front of the factory and if not, I'll be waiting for them at the end of the tunnel."

I nodded and indeed felt a little better with this information. That way, it would even be possible to escape from a helicopter. No one would see from above that my friends had even left the building.

"And then there are hidden cameras and motion detectors all over and around the area," Logan continued. "Alejandro gave me the codes to them and I can control everything from the van."

"And why can't Alejandro himself come with you?" I asked, even though this plan they had hurriedly developed, actually seemed surprisingly good.

"He trys," Mick said. "Gabriel said he would be arriving here soon."

"Uh… that's not a sure thing yet," Logan interjected, to my regret. "Something's come up for Alejandro. I just contacted him. He said he'll try to make it, but he's not sure whether he'll make it in time."

"That means it'll just be the three of you," I noted. "In that case I'm coming with you."

Mick stared at me for a moment a bit perplexed then shook his head. "No way!"

"You're not going there with only two other people," I contradicted him just as vigorously.

"You're a human, Josef!"

"Then just get me a gun! Logan certainly has one in the van!" I knew it sounded a little silly, but I just couldn't let my friends go to war alone.

"It's just a meeting with Talbot, damn it!" Mick flared up. "Nobody's gonna need a gun!"

Well, since it's not a war but a verbal battle. Even better…

"You see…," I gave back a little calmer. "… a conversation won't be that dangerous for a human like me."

Mick let out a frustrated groan and ran a hand across his face.

"Actually, August said you should stay in bed and rest," said Beth and I noticed Simone nodding timidly beside me.

"August…," I repeated derogatory. "The man can only be trusted as far as you can throw him."

"With vampire or human strength?" Logan asked and I gave him such a lethal look, he immediately raised his hands defensively.

"Gabriel trusts him," Beth replied and made my anger grow a little more. Of course, the old vampire trusted the man - after all he didn't betray and spy on him, just me. This reminded me again that I had actually wanted to get to the bottom of this link between the two men some time. With all this stress one forgot so many important things.

"And he's a competent doctor," Mick added. "He can't replace Frank, since he lacks knowledge about the research, but he's been able to help me a lot and has always made sure I acted responsibly when it came to the limited amount of cure I have left."

That was another thing I had forgotten about, the scarcity of Mick's remedies. We absolutely had to continue our search for Frank Peterson and we could only do that once we were able to move relatively free around the States again. This meeting with Talbot was indeed inevitable.

"Well then," I said and moved my shoulders a bit to shake off some tension. "August may be a capable doctor, but he's not here at that moment so he can hardly say whether I'm fit enough for this action or not. But I can and I say: I'm perfectly fine!"

That was a lie, because I was having major problems with my blood pressure, my muscles and my head still ached and on top of all that, this hunger was torturing me - but the others didn't need to know, right?

"A few hours ago you were barely able to sit upright, Josef," my friend replied with this critical eye that told me he didn't believe a word I'd said. "You're not going under any circumstances!"

"Do you think the decision is in your hands, huh?" I asked irritated and almost winced, when a warm hand slipped into mine. It had been a long time since I'd felt such a simple touch so intensely and my confused gaze wandered towards Simone.

"We're just worried about you, Josef," she said softly. "If you collapse during the action, then we'll have to call the whole thing off."

"I'm not going to break down," I replied indignantly. "I've always been a strong person." Good thing no one here knew my past as a human!

"But you've only just been turned," Simone said back and the concern in her eyes was unmistakable. "Your body needs time to process all this first."

"And I say it already has," I replied with a fake smile.

"And what if you're wrong?" Mick dared to ask now and didn't even wait for me to respond. "What if your cardiovascular system collapses? You'll not only endanger our actions but you'll then have to wait even longer for your re-transformation."

Again this nasty ace! My dear friend had absolutely no qualms about using it against me. My resistance hadn't just crumbled from these words, for the most part it collapsed. I didn't want to be a human any longer than I had to. This state was keeping me from fighting at my friends' side. And that Mick was going to keep me out of everything while I was a human, I could tell by the determined expression in his eyes. He was back in his beloved role of 'great protector' and wasn't going to doff it so quickly. But I didn't care for the counterpart - the weak, little creature looking up to him, who let himself be guided willingly - at all!

For a while there was silence at our table. They were all waiting for a response from me and they finally got it. I inhaled deeply.

"Well, all right then," I said reluctantly, looking down at the half eaten sandwich on my plate, "since this mission doesn't appear to be all that dangerous and seems pretty secure, I'll refrain from participating, this time, but only because I in fact don't really feel that comfortable in my new state. But I just want to make one thing perfectly clear…" I raised my eyes now, looking sternly at each of my friends. "I don't want anyone here planning missions behind my back again nor to find out by accident that there's a new mission currently taking place. I may just be a human – but I'm not mentally handicapped!"

My eyes lingered on Mick's face until he reluctantly gave me a light nod. Then I got up and took my plate, another roll and a couple of cheese slices still in a plastic coat.

"So, if you'll excuse me now, I'd rather be alone for awhile," I added, turned and walked back to my room. Acting like a prima donna wasn't very mature or adult like and certainly for Josef Kostan not any more appropriate than being a wimp, but I needed to make it clear to the others that I wasn't going to go along with their decision without some kind of protest. It really sucked to be relieved from the much better role of leader and then demoted to the weakest member of the troop. Never again in my life did I ever want to be this sick weak individual and since becoming a vampire, I never expected to. The thought of having to bear this even a few days longer, to feel like I was no longer a contributing member of the battle against the Legion, was unbearable. I simply wasn't going to accept it and now that Mick and the others had left me alone, I would at least have the time and space I needed to develop a battle plan. A plan to acquire vampire blood quickly and discreetly, to transform myself, whether anyone wanted to help or not. It was time that I started to fight against the odds fate had dealt me - with all means available. They may have taken away my superhuman powers, but not my freedom.