The Shallow Grave of Secret Longing
Chapter 25
Okay, here's the latest. Took awhile to get it together so my imaginary beta didn't have time to proof it very thoroughly. If you see something that's going to make you lose sleep, let me know and I'll kick her ass. There seemed to be some confusion as to who was on which island. I hope I've made it a little easier.
You continue to amaze me with your response to this story. I sincerely thank you and to quote a line from a Bette Davis movie, 'I'd love to kiss ya but I just washed my hair'.
Disclaimer: No money. No trips to Hawaii. No handsome tattooed men. Sometimes it's just hard to go on isn't it?
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Something in the Air
Molokai:
The small plane taxied to the gate and came to a stop. It wasn't long before they heard the whir and clunk of the stairway locking into place. Exiting onto the steaming tarmac, Danny surveyed his surroundings as they walked toward the actual terminal. Fluffy clouds sailed the cerulean sky like ghostly and majestic white ships. The breeze blew soft humid breath over his sweaty skin as birds fluttered by on their little birdy missions.
Jeeze, he already hated this place.
"Come on Danny. Let's get to the jeep rental counter." said Cath impatiently as she picked up her carry-on.
"Have to wait for them to unload the luggage" he said. "Why don't you go ahead to get the process started."
Both of them had packed only carry-ons but Danny had checked a duffle bag of equipment they might need. Steve would be proud, he thought as he waited for the cart of luggage and boxes from the small cargo hold to be wheeled into the terminal. The duffle contained all the essentials for traipsing around in the jungle. He'd based his selection of gear on SuperSEAL's choice of equipment when they'd last gone hiking.
Of course, the hike didn't work out that well. The tall man had finally tired of Danny's constant bitching about heat, humidity, bugs etc. and told him not to worry about it. They would be home soon and he wouldn't have to worry about going hiking ever again – at least not with him.
Though verbal battles were one of the basic elements of their friendship with both sides getting in their shots, they were usually forgotten over beers at the end of the day. He missed it so much.
After listening to the polite lecture from the auto rental guy about unpaved roads and respecting the island's ecological balance, he handed them the key and they threw their gear into the small 4-wheel drive and made their way out the gate onto the two-lane highway that lead to Kalaupapa National Park.
As they neared their destination, Cath looked around at the thickening vegetation and her heart began to sink. She was very much aware of Steve's skills in the wild. If he was in there somewhere and he didn't want to be found, then he wouldn't be. They'd go back to Oahu empty handed.
Nearing their destination, they climbed toward the mist covered heights as the Jeep's small engine began to lug slightly on the steep incline. Both people in the straining vehicle wore nearly identical expressions; grim, purposeful, determined, but neither man nor woman's wore hope.
….
Lanai:
He'd easily climbed onto the shingled roof as Kip, Howard, three dogs, four sheep, six geese, three goats and a cow all looked upward to watch him do it. Apparently the chickens didn't have the attention span to care and he knew the rabbit was still in time-out for escaping and nearly getting eaten by wild boar.
"Found it!" he called down to Howard, "Send up some shingles, the hammer, nails and the sticky stuff."
He walked to the edge of the roof to catch the end of the rope Howard threw toward him and leaned down to pull up the bucket with the roofing supplies. He tried not to show the twinge of pain his ribs gave him as he bent and began to tug the supplies upward.
Kip had been watching him like a hawk. He knew if she suspected he was in pain, she'd shut-down the project. It was almost like being around Danny in full-tilt mother hen mode. Once again, a strong twinge of sadness and guilt made its way into his consciousness. He'd been debating with himself as to whether he should send some sort of message to his ohana that he was still alive. For the moment, perhaps he'd stay that way. The thoughts of ending the pain had lessened somewhat since he'd been here but there were still some very dark moments. The nightmares still relentlessly plagued him but, for now, he'd stay.
The message would have to be sent in a way that wasn't easily traced because he was certain they were looking for him. He hadn't run that far and he was actually sort of surprised they hadn't found him yet. If they did, he had no idea what he could say to them to make up for what he'd done. Nevertheless, he knew his team was more than good at what they did. They also knew his habits and would be hot on his trail.
He was also good at what he did - excellent in fact – at least at disappearing. His training had given him the skills to do so but he wasn't at the top of his game. Maybe he wouldn't ever be again. His thoughts still felt scrambled and chaotic and at times the flashbacks would appear without warning. So far, he'd hidden them from Kip but he knew it was only a matter of time before he had one he couldn't hide. He felt guilty for even accepting Kip's offer of help but he knew he had nowhere else to go. He couldn't go back to Oahu. He was too screwed-up to wander around loose in a populated place. Kip had even seen him wake from his nightmares a few times and it didn't seem to faze her.
Even when he'd fixed Kip's sewing machine, he'd sneaked into town in the middle of the night to do so. He had to laugh to himself – all that training had certainly paid off. It had certainly made him capable of sneaking into an unsecured target to fix a sewing machine. Life could certainly be strange if nothing else. He smiled as he fastened the last of the new shingles onto the sub-roofing.
With her hand shielding her eyes from the sun's bright glare, Kip looked upward with worry. After only a week she didn't consider him in good enough shape to be engaged in roof repair but he'd easily clambered up the rickety ladder.
Shirtless in the sun, his skin was tanning quickly. The scar that trailed down his side and ended somewhere below his military style belt was still obvious. It still looked red and painful. She would have to make up a batch of emollient that was supposed to help with such things. It had done wonders for the rabbit. Howard, who'd been the one to put Ua Kane in pajamas on that first night, told her the weal went down past his hipbone and looked fairly new. He assumed it was from a knife fight and was fairly freaked-out Kip was willing to take on someone who could be involved in such things.
She tried to allay his concern, saying she had a 'feeling' about this new friend. She told Howard the man only looked lost – not dangerous; that Ua Kane reminded her of one of her dogs – the one who'd been so badly mistreated.
Howard quickly reminded her that the dog was an unstable shithead and could easily snap and do someone damage – even Kip herself.
She dismissively waved away his concern. She still hadn't admitted to him that the man actually reminded her of Joey.
Deep down, she knew Joey had been very much like the old dog; quick tempered and even dangerous at times. Sadly, her son's demons had won and driven him from his home. She'd failed to keep him safe and bring him back from the edge. Perhaps this time she would be more successful.
She was brought back from her musings when she heard, "Okay that should do it. I guess we'll find out during the next rain if it was good enough." It was starting to cloud up again. Apparently, they'd get their test of the roof-repair sooner rather than later.
"Okay get down from there now! If you fall off and break something else, I'm not gonna carry your ass back inside!" called Kip.
"You really do remind me of someone." smiled Steve as he tossed the hammer, nails and container of gooey mastic into the bucket and lowered it back down to Howard. He paused briefly when he thought he saw a flash in the distance. He froze and looked closer but didn't see anything more. It could have been his imagination or maybe it was just the paranoia again. He hoped it didn't portend another flashback. Hurriedly, he clambered back down the ladder to the ground.
He looked around at the animals that still continued to stare at him. Now he had more than just One-Eyed-Jack to contend with. It was still creepy.
As for his rapt audience, now that the novelty of seeing someone on the roof was gone, the onlookers slowly dispersed to nibble on grass or take naps in the last remaining sunshine before it disappeared behind the darkening billows beginning to obscure the peaceful sky.
…
Molokai:
In the gravel parking area at Kalaupapa, Danny wiped the sweat from his brow and kicked the tire of the jeep in frustration. Once again it was a dead-end. They'd haunted the trail heads and spoken to what seemed every tourist and every park ranger on the island and shown Steve's picture to them all. No one remembered seeing the tall man.
Cath had to get back to work in two days and Denning was practically frothing at the mouth. Chin and Kono had failed to come up with any promising leads to the identity of the Governor's ex-partner's assailant. It seemed as though things on both islands had come to an utter and complete standstill.
They'd finally given up on the idea of trying to find Steve in the beautiful but incredibly inaccessible tropical forests. They'd need the Army, Navy, Air Force and maybe a mounted posse or two to do a proper search. There were actually no roads into Kalaupapa except those that could be traveled by mule. Danny was willing to do it but Cath pointed out that Steve would surely be nowhere near any trail that was frequented by tourists, even if they were muleback. Danny agreed. He felt Steve was trying to stay as far away from human beings as possible.
The detective was truly at wit's end as to how to find his troubled friend. For all he knew, Steve could even be dead by now. Danny had seen the desperation in his friend's eyes. Further conversation with Esquivel had confirmed for him that the something 'stupid' they'd both been unwilling to name was suicide. It wasn't that uncommon for people to resort to that final desperate measure to escape whatever tormented them.
Danny reckoned it must truly be the worst kind of hell to worry that you could unintentionally harm those you loved. He knew that if he himself thought he could ever harm Gracie, he'd sign over custody to Rachel without a second thought and never see his fiercely beloved daughter again if that's what it took to keep her safe.
Oh god, thought Danny. Now he understood why Steve had run. Now he understood why the man couldn't bear to be around anyone right now. Now he understood the fear. His eyes teared in anguish for his lost friend and he could barely make out Cath in the distance as she approached another tourist with Steve's picture in hand.
…..
Lanai:
Over the next couple of weeks things had gone fairly well. Her friend seemed to be feeling better though the racking cough still stubbornly refused to go away. He'd even managed to gain a few pounds. Keeping busy, mostly outdoors, with various repairs around her place, he was now nearly as tanned as some of the native population. He knew she couldn't pay him and told her he'd work for room and board until he'd run out of things to repair. Between some of Malu's clothing she couldn't part with and some of Joey's she'd saved in hope for his return, they'd even come up with a meager wardrobe for her handyman.
From the kitchen window, Kip watched him work on fixing the goat pen. They'd managed to escape again; this time pillaging her crop of green beans. Probably as desert after the porch swing's seat cushions, she mused in irritation. Smiling she watched him try to make friends with the most determined of the black goats to keep it from chewing up his tool bag, the leather one that had belonged to Malu. It actually had a few teeth marks on it from previous encounters with similar animals.
Physically, there'd been progress but he still woke screaming in the middle of the night when nightmares terrifyingly unhinged him. The first time it happened had scared the crap out of her. She'd jumped out of bed to rush to the storeroom. He didn't answer when she called out to him. From unfortunate experience she knew what it was and quietly and slowly open the door to make sure it was safe to come into the room. She found him trembling as he stared into the darkness at things only he could see. Yes, she knew about the terrors sleep could visit on returned warriors.
She knew not to touch him to wake him. Malu had learned that lesson the hard way when his son had violently lashed out and broken his father's nose that one time. Joey had left the next day. Besides breaking his father's nose, his leaving had broken his father's heart as well.
She had the feeling Ua Kane was somehow even more worrying. Beneath his usual calm surface was a fierce intensity. She knew it was something great warriors had. It was part of what made them warriors in the first place but, without a strong sense of right and wrong, it could make them dangerous to more than just the enemy.
Malu himself had this intensity. She'd first met him when he'd returned from Viet Nam with many scars and blind in one eye but, thankfully, he'd made it home. Many of those who'd left the islands to fight that faith-destroying war had never returned. She'd never told him but she was almost glad he'd been injured early on in his tour of duty - before he could be even more damaged by his time there.
Her husband was a restless soul but a good one. He watched over her and protected her. He loved her and she him. She missed him every day but life went on. Sometimes it was good, sometimes bad but it was always interesting.
She and Ua Kane didn't talk about what had happened to make him wander from his home. On the nights of the terrors when sleep was only a word rather than a reality, she'd sit with him and drink tea and they'd work together on the puzzle of a ship on a moonlit sea.
….
They'd spotted their target up on the roof of the little house. Hmm, if the guy was in good enough shape to climb up a ladder, he was in good enough shape to defend himself even better than he had that first time.
Benji Pakele nervously tapped the binoculars he held. They were expensive ones. They'd been stolen from one of the more well-to-do residents on this side of the island.
"We got to get rid of that haole. That old bitch with the bat wuz what saved his mangy ass last time."
"Even without her if Apela hadn't been there to hold onto him he woulda kicked our asses brah." said Keanu Nahulu, (aka Rabbit, his unfortunate nickname).
"Well, Apela ain't gonna be out of the hospital for another week. That asshole really did a number on him. He's too trashed be in on any action a long time brah."
"We still got Jimmy an' Timmy."
"Uh uh we don't. The whiny asses' mommy and daddy told them to knock off the shit or they're gonna turn 'em over to Hakoda. They ain't going nowhere. Those two jerkoffs still afraid of that old man even though they could clean his clock easy."
"At least they got parents who give a shit." said Keanu almost wistfully.
"Shut-up Rabbit." snarled Benji. "Hand me the rifle."
…
"Howard, help me get the goats into the shed, the sheep will follow them in there."
"Just leave 'em out Kip, they're smart enough to get out of the rain."
She only stood with hands on hips and lips compressed into a line as she stared back at him. "You've got to be kidding." she said.
"Okay, okay, I'll help round 'em up."
"I'll help too." said Steve as he neatly coiled the rope and fastened the end so it wouldn't unravel. He'd already made sure the top to the container of the mastic was secure and was preparing to put everything back where it belonged.
"Look, Rain Man, I agreed to let you get up onto my roof but don't think I'm gonna have you running around chasing livestock."
"Come-on Kip." laughed Steve, "I think the goats are beginning to like me."
Again, she gave her 'You've got to be kidding' look. "Those goats don't like anything other than whatever they can eat. If Koa decides to get all macho about his little harem and butts you, you could get those ribs busted all over again."
"You don't care if Koa butts me?" squawked Howard in a mock hurt tone.
"Howard my love, I think you've got enough padding on your ass that it won't hurt that much." teased Kip, "but it would sure wreck Ua Kane, no extra padding on that skinny body."
Both Howard and Steve had been too gentlemanly to point out Kip's ample derriere which could indeed put a stop to the billy goat's possible tactics. Before Howard could form a defensive but tactful reply, she added "'course, if he butts me it would be like running into a Buick and he's gonna be very sorry he did."
Steve only looked back wide-eyed, his mouth beginning to twitch as Howard tried not to explode in laughter next to him. Kip looked at them both with merry challenge in her eyes daring them to say anything about her zaftig figure.
…
They only had to wait for him to come out to feed the animals. There were so many of the disgusting creatures that the old woman had drafted her newest adopted stray to help her feed the ones that hung out farthest from the house.
Right now, as it grew darker, they could see him carrying hay to the old cow that had long ago stopped giving milk. Years ago when Benji was still in grade school his old man had tried to get its former owner to sell him the decrepit animal for meat. His father had been greatly annoyed when Kekipi Maluhia had beaten him to it and had snatched it from right under his nose with a higher bid. Lyle Kapele had even gone so far as to threaten the woman into giving up the cow. That was a huge mistake. Malu, her husband, had come after him and the fight that ensued left his old man pounded into the dirt. Blind in one eye or not, Malu was a tough bastard.
Now was his chance to get back at that crazy bitch. He was going to relish putting an end to her latest rescued animal.
….
Steve could feel something was wrong. It was the same feeling he'd had when his team had entered that narrow canyon. The wind had picked up and the air felt somehow uneasy as it ruffled the straggly grass of the sloping pasture. It seemed to whisper of menace.
He looked around apprehensively as he spread the hay out into the trough. He didn't see or hear anything unusual. The cow munched noisily on its fodder as he absently scratched the top of her head. Something wasn't right.
The old dog had followed him out to the pasture but stayed its distance. Other than no longer growling at him, it wasn't any friendlier than it had been.
The branches of the small lone tree in the middle of the pasture swayed in the humid breeze. As the air floated over his skin, he could feel the hair on his arms begin to stand up. Once again, he turned in a circle to survey his surroundings but saw nothing. The dog began to growl at something as the wind shifted and carried from the stand of trees that stood on the rise above them.
Steve's heart began to speed up. He was sure it wasn't just the beginning of a flashback this time. He'd just decided to make a run for cover when the flat crack of a rifle rolled across the open pasture.
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Is that evil enough for you? I think I can spot whump on the horizon.
Next chapter within a week or so. Sorry that this one was a little late this time.
Reviews would be most welcome.