Disclaimer; I don't own twilight - I just really wish I did

A/N Thanks for reading reviewing etc etc… Also I'm sorry for the delay - I lost my muse for a while.

Chapter 25 : The Bad

CPOV

I took another drink from the almost empty glass in my hand and glanced at the clock, it was just after five o'clock in the afternoon and I was already on my fourth glass of whisky. I had gotten my afternoon duties at the church over in record time and the second they were I had been out of there. Things were getting messy - I thought that I'd have this under control, that it wouldn't bother me anymore but it did.

I was infatuated with Isabella Swan and that was before we had slept together - now I'd say it was bordering on obsession. I kept thinking about her; how she looked, how she smelled, what it felt like to touch her. But what was worse was that had every interaction we'd ever had saved in my mind and it just kept playing over and over.

I stood up and put the glass down the table and walked over to the chair I had flung my jacket on earlier. I had heard my phone signalling a text earlier but I hadn't paid it much attention thinking it was probably Esme but it occurred to me that Bella might have tried to get in touch, I had promised to call her. At the time it had been because It had seemed an appropriate thing to say to someone you had just spent the night with - but now I genuinely did want to call her and that was further proof that this infatuation as getting out of hand.

I flipped the phone open and checked the messages, all four of which were from Esme asking me to call her and then asking why I hadn't called yet. But nothing from Bella. I tossed the phone back down on the chair and began to pace.

So where did things go from here? Did I see her again? It wasn't a question of not wanting to, merely that it was extremely unadvisable. I sighed for what must have been the hundredth time this afternoon and sat back down on the sofa and glared at the glass sitting on the table in front of me. I wanted another drink - badly, but getting drunk wasn't going to make things any clearer. I picked the glass up of the table and swirled what remained of the amber liquid around the bottom of the glass.

I downed the remaining whisky and was just debating on whether or not I should get a refill when I heard the soft click of a door closing from behind me. I turned to look behind me, half hoping to see Bella standing there. But it wasn't Bella. "I'm back" Esme told me quietly.

"Esme darling" I croaked as my throat seemed to close in on itself "I wasn't expecting you back until tomorrow evening." I stood up to greet her and she laughed lightly and walked towards me "I know, but I couldn't wait that long to see you." I stiffened slightly as she wrapped her small arms around my waist and gave me a gentle squeeze.

It took me a moment to get over the shock of her affectionate greeting to respond to the hug. "Well that's lovely darling, I missed you too" I told her as a patted her on the back gently. "Carlisle" she said as she pulled away from me "I have to talk to you about something ."

"Of course" I told her calmly as my mind began to whir into action - what did she want to talk about? Had someone saw me leave Bella's house this morning and contacted her? Had she decided she had had enough of this sham of a marriage and was leaving me?

We sat down on the sofa I had vacated just a few moments ago and she smiled at me - and I don't mean the kind that held nothing behind it. This seemed to be a true smile, one filled with warmth, love and happiness - and it was a very long time since she'd smiled at me in such a way.

"Is everything alright?" I asked her quietly while I felt my heart beginning to pound in my chest. She held my hand in hers while she looked at me in such a way I began to remember how easy it used to get lost in those eyes of hers. "I have a confession to make" she told me. "Esme…" I started but she shook her head. "Just let me finish, please Carlisle" she said softly.

I nodded at her to continue "Do you remember a few months ago before we moved here we tried to make a go of things and it seemed to work for a while" she asked. I nodded my head again, I did remember - things had been better then than they had for a good while before that and I had begun to have hope again. But then just a week or so before we moved here my wife the one I loved began to disappear again.

"When things started to get better between us I had so much hope and enthusiasm for our future together. Because for the first time in a long time I could see one…. and I got a bit careless" she said. I wasn't following "I don't understand?" I replied. She took a deep breath "I got careless with my pills" she replied. I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts and grasp what she was trying to tell me - but I couldn't because part of me really didn't want to. "I'm pregnant Carlisle" she whispered. And just like that the bottom fell out of my world.

A/N If you liked it - then pretty please review it x