Author's notes:
As always, I don't own Glee or any of the songs/movies/television shows/websites/ real things referenced.
Rating is for language and eventual sexual content.
Approximate words this chapter: 14,500
Friday March 16
"Is Saturday still our standing date?" Blaine asked, eyes apologetic and hopeful.
Kurt exhaled loudly, rolling his eyes upward and bringing them back down to address Blaine's. "Do you have a plan for something to do or are we going to just wing-it again, because winging-it really didn't work out well for me last week."
The two sat in silence for a while. It was the free period just before their Friday Glee meeting, and tension seemed to hang in the air around them as the seconds ticked away, not quickly enough for either's liking.
"Okay, I was bluffing last week," Blaine admitted.
"I know, but I wasn't," Kurt countered.
"What?" Blaine appeared stunned. "You knew I was bluffing?"
Kurt bounced his head, nodding affirmatively. "I guess I didn't exactly know, but I suspected at the time you said it. Your reaction confirmed it. You admitting it now is making you seem really needy."
Blaine grimaced, stunned by the comment. Kurt continued. "Blaine, I'm eighteen years old. You're seventeen. There is absolutely no reason why either of us should feel we need to have a boyfriend right now."
Now Blaine just appeared confused. "But, like, you're here and I'm here, and I think we love each other."
"Oh, Blaine, would you feel the same way if your GAP-crush from last year showed up on your doorstep serenading you with your favorite Coldplay song?" Kurt exhaled again, loudly, and shook his head in futility looking downward. "Don't forget, Blaine, I was Plan B. I was patient with you, waiting until you'd exhausted all of your A-Plans and finally come around to notice that I was adoring you from afar. And, by your own admission, a song I sang to a dead bird was what made you fall in love with me. Okay, it swept me off my feet at the time, but, in retrospect, it seems a little convenient and more than a little tacky." Kurt didn't sound angry, merely exhausted of the current discussion.
Blaine looked downward toward the floor. Kurt had spelled it out bluntly, and Blaine couldn't call Kurt on anything: everything he just said was true.
"Blaine, we do love each other," Kurt continued. "But if we take some time off, maybe we'll come to understand some things about how we really feel about each other."
"I'm not sure I understand, Kurt."
"If we take some time off, maybe we'll better understand whether what we feel for each other is the kind of love that makes us merely friends or the kind of love that makes us more than that."
"You're friendzoning me?"
"You know what, Blaine? If it's bothering you that much, maybe you'd have thought of that before you decided that bluffing me would be a good way of getting me to pine for you. I mean, really, that amounts to a head-game, and I'd never do anything like that to you." Kurt was becoming agitated. "And maybe, if it bothers you that much, you should have introduced me to your Dalton sports-buddy."
"You're friendzoning me. I don't believe it."
"Believe it, Blaine."
"Kurt, I switched schools to be with you," Blaine's face was intense and sincere.
"Blaine, it's possible that switching schools for a Plan-B-boyfriend wasn't the best-thought-out idea you've had."
Silence.
"Look at it this way, Blaine. We understand that we love each other. We spend some time off of being a couple. We still hang out and do things together. Maybe we come to understand that we are better together. Maybe we get back together stronger and more intelligently than before. But, maybe we understand that we're better as friends."
Blaine continued to be silent, looking down at the floor and shaking his head with an intense expression on his face.
"That's all you've got?" Kurt asked, surprised.
"What do you mean?" Blaine asked, sounding meek.
"So far, I've given you some solid reasons why taking some time off is a good idea. You've given me an admission that you were bluffing and disillusionment over being friendzoned."
"I guess I've got more," Blaine spoke defiantly, "I've got the fact that I know you love me too much to let me go like this."
Kurt looked stunned. "What exactly was that?" Kurt rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You're not inside my head, you don't know what I'm feeling, and that was just... lame."
Kurt paused before resuming. "I just thought of another, though. Rationalize your transfer to McKinley by thinking about how much money your parents are saving over Dalton's expensive tuition."
At this, Blaine appeared like he was about to explode. "That's not funny. You know, you asked me to transfer for you. Remember?"
"That doesn't mean it was exactly the wisest choice for you, Blaine."
"Seriously, Blaine, no reason to be angry about this," Kurt continued. "Find something else to do this Saturday afternoon. Or, come up with something worthwhile and we'll hang out and do it together; but I'm not up for suffering through another Saturday of the Lima Bean, Mall, Breadstix, and argument-about-which-movie-we-want-to-see tour of Lima, Ohio this week. Suggest anything."
Blaine resigned himself to a calmer-but-no-more-satisfied expression. "You're right. That's all I got."
"Well, Blaine, just so you know, I have no plans either. If you should come up with something interesting to do between now and tomorrow, Saturday could be back on. I might think of something to do, and I'll let you know. The bottom line is that this is a chance to see if we're doing this because we actually want to be with each other or if we're doing this because we just think we should be together by default."
Blaine gathered his thoughts and calmed. "You know, that does kind-of make sense, Kurt. I have an idea. If we're both going to be bored on Saturday, why can't we be bored together? As friends. Maybe the boredom or the lack of a planned 'date' will make us come up with something different."
Kurt's face perked into an interested expression. "That is not at all what I had in mind, but the attitude is right. We'll talk on the phone tomorrow and map something out. No schedule so no hurry."
"So that means we might get back together, right?" Blaine asked hopefully.
"Blaine, the original idea as you proposed it was to take some time off. You didn't propose breaking it off altogether with no possibility of getting together again. Let's just try something and see what happens."
Both boys were satisfied with this and proceeded to the Glee meeting smiling and positive. The Friday Glee session was fun, if uneventful; and Kurt was home by four o'clock. Kurt had slept well the night before at David's house, but it still wasn't a typical night's sleep: sleeping in an unfamiliar place was never nearly as restful as sleeping at home. He was very-much looking forward to getting through Friday evening's events and retiring to bed early. The lack of the obligation of his nightly conversation with Blaine made his evenings end that much sooner he found.
Still, thoughts of the previous evening played fondly in his memory. He texted David when he had settled in for the afternoon.
Kurt: Good afternoon David. May I call? 4:21 PM
Kurt's phone rang almost immediately.
"Hello, David," Kurt smiled into the phone.
"Hi, Kurt. What's going on?"
"I just got in from school a short while ago. It was a pretty unremarkable day. How was your Friday?"
"About the same as most any day here," David added a chuckle at the end of his answer. "Rupert brought a couple of tests in. Even when I'm not formally going to school, teachers still prefer to use Friday as test-day."
"How do you think you did?"
"I think I did well. I don't do much other than study and read, so there'd be no excuse for me bombing any tests."
"Did you sleep okay last night?" Kurt asked, feeling that he himself could have been better-rested.
"Yeah," David hesitated for a moment. "Not like sleeping in my bed, but I was able to nap for a while this afternoon. Dad got in a little while ago."
"How was his trip?"
David laughed before answering. "He says these trips are, in his words, lame. Even though it was short, he was glad to be home. How about you? Typical Friday night at Congressman Hummel's house?"
"As far as I can see, yes. I'm looking forward to going to bed early tonight. Unlike you, I'm not an afternoon nap person; and, I agree that I slept well at your place, but it's not like sleeping at home."
There was a silence between them over the phone for a moment before Kurt spoke again. "It was worth a less-than-perfect night of sleep, though."
David audibly exhaled: it nearly sounded like a sigh of relief. "I guess that means I'm a decent host?" His words sounded shy, almost pleading.
Kurt laughed, it was nearly a giggle. "Yes, David. It was a pretty great time. You wouldn't need to twist my arm to get me to do something like that again." Kurt thought he could actually hear David smile on the other end of the conversation.
"So," David began after a moment, "big plans with Blaine tomorrow?"
"No. No plans. I'm not even sure if we're going out."
"I thought Saturday was your standing appointment with Blaine," David stated, sounding slightly questioning.
"Well, last week was kind-of unspectacular. I told him that if we couldn't come up with something to do other than our weekly ritual, it might be just as well to skip it. Last week felt too much like a 'standing appointment'. I mean, it's not like we don't see each other in school every day or talk on the phone all the time."
"I have no comment," David observed. "No experience with that sort of thing so I have no wisdom to contribute. I'll take your word for it. How is Blaine doing?"
"Blaine's doing fine." Kurt sounded annoyed at the triteness of the sentence. "Blaine is always about the same. Not much changes."
"I guess that's a good thing," David opined. "You always know what to expect."
"He's definitely not unpredictable." Kurt let out a small laugh.
"Well, I should probably get going and see what Dad has in mind for dinner."
"Okay, David. Can I call later?"
David laughed. "Sure, Kurt. You know I'll be here."
Finn drove directly from school to the airport for Burt and Carole. The dinner was uneventful and spoke of a long week for all of the Hummel-Hudsons. Kurt was indeed ready for bed earlier than usual by design. He picked up his phone and sent David a quick message.
Kurt: Good evening, David. 9:03 PM
Kurt's phone lit up moments later.
"Hi, David," Kurt spoke quietly and pleasantly into the phone. "You're always so quick to call."
"Hi, Kurt," David sounded relaxed if raspy-throated. "Usually when you call, I'm not doing anything but sitting here reading or studying or something. How's life with the congressman's son tonight?"
Kurt audibly smiled through a breath. "Normal Friday. Everyone seems tired from the week. Dinner was quiet. Finn was kind-of talkative, but, honestly, I didn't pick up much of what he was saying. How was dinner with your dad?"
"Pizza and wings. I'm getting dangerously sick of this stuff, and I think Dad is also, which sucks, because we both love to eat. Dad's planning on attempting to cook dinner tomorrow. I told him I'd help. If you hear firetrucks and sirens tomorrow afternoon, you can assume they're headed to my place."
Kurt laughed aloud. "I love it when you make me laugh, David."
"You think I'm being funny, Hummel?" David barked, affecting seriousness before breaking into laughter himself.
"Um," Kurt spoke, regaining his breath, "what are you going to... um... try to make?"
"Just, like, pasta sauce: put it on the stove, let it cook all day. Something like that. If it turns out okay and the house doesn't burn down and neither my dad nor I need rushed to the hospital after eating or anything, we'll maybe have some friends over next time we collaborate on dinner."
More laughter from Kurt. "Something like that is pretty foolproof, David."
"Yeah, I know. I'm just being a wise-ass. Besides, I enjoy making you crack-up, Kurt."
"Well, you're pretty adept at that, David."
"What?" David asked, "Being a wise-ass or cracking you up?"
Kurt exhaled loudly. David chuckled to himself as he could swear he heard Kurt's eyes roll. The brief silence was comfortable. Finally, Kurt spoke.
"Whether you're being funny or a wise-ass or we're having a serious conversation, David, it's always good."
David was silent. Kurt finally spoke again. "Are you still there, David?"
David responded slowly. "Yeah," He finally said, lazily. Kurt thought that it sounded like David said it with a lazy smile on his face.
"I agree with you; I like talking with you too, Kurt," David said after a few moments of silence. "I like making you laugh, and I feel like I could talk to you about just about anything." He stopped short of going further. He could have said considerably more.
"Well, I think I'm going to get going, David. Mostly, I just wanted to say 'good night'."
David hesitated and spoke slowly as if unsure. "You... wanted... to say... 'good night' to me?"
"Yes, David. I fell asleep before I had the chance to do that last night," Kurt spoke, softly, "and you were such a wonderful host and excellent conversationalist.".
"Well, then," David spoke slowly and softly after a pause, rasp still in his voice, "um, good night, Kurt."
"Good night, David," Kurt answered quietly but clearly.
Kurt ended the call and returned his phone to his nightstand, connecting it to the charger.
David had no idea that Kurt and Blaine had parted. Kurt wasn't sure how he'd feel about David knowing. Though David had shown in the past that he could let the smallest impressions run riot with his feelings and perceptions, he seemed to have contained that sort of behavior. For Kurt's part, his feelings about David were mixed and strong. Kurt loved the talks that he and David would share, and he genuinely appreciated the internal beauty he increasingly saw in David's personality. David was romantic, almost to a delirious level; and David possessed a depth which made him unlike anyone Kurt had known. On the downside, there were the bursts of admitted selfishness which David sometimes displayed and occurrences like the bitter mood with which David greeted Kurt a week ago (though Kurt felt part at fault in that particular episode).
Most striking thing about David though, thought Kurt, was that David didn't tailor himself to suit Kurt, and, similarly, David introduced Kurt to his life fully and without hesitation: there was a genuine feeling of shared experience with David.
Kurt didn't want to think about how he was feeling where David was concerned, or where anyone was concerned, really. Kurt felt that his breakup with Blaine afforded him time alone to understand what was important to him in a relationship or, perhaps, if he wanted to be with anyone at all for the time being. It was a liberating feeling.
Or, at least that's what he tried to convince himself. Kurt couldn't understand why, if he should feel so happily free and uncommitted, the thought of David kept haunting him as he tried to sleep.
David held the phone to his ear until the call audibly ended from Kurt's side. David was touched, but he was also wondering: do just plain friends call each other just to tell each other 'good night'? David pondered. He really didn't want to feel anything more for Kurt than he already did; certainly not what he felt going into February: it hurt him too much when he realized that they wouldn't be together in 'that way', regardless of any logical sense any explanation offered.
Kurt didn't seem at all the type to lead David on in this manner; David resigned himself to believing that he was making more out of the conversation than should be made. Kurt did seem to be an exceptionally caring person to his friends. Still, David couldn't help feeling like he wanted to get closer to Kurt: Kurt's kindness and openness overwhelmed David at times. This was almost worse than the days preceding Valentine's Day: at that time he really didn't know Kurt and what he was feeling was based upon a personality that his own mind manufactured; now he was actually getting to understand the way Kurt conducted himself. If before he knew Kurt, he might have had the misconception that Kurt was a marginally-caring, proud-spirited fashion plate: the quintessential gay stereotype; he was discovering that, in reality, Kurt had, despite his fashionable appearance and flamboyant mannerisms, an incredibly giving personality and an almost bottomless capacity for empathy.
Sleep didn't come easily for David this evening. No matter that he continually reminded himself that he couldn't get close to Kurt on that level, he couldn't help feeling that it was where he wanted to be.
David didn't know how long he lay awake in bed. This was somewhat unusual for David who, despite some very difficult and sleepless nights in recent memory, rarely had trouble sleeping in the last few weeks. He was about to reach for his remote control so he could surf channels on the television when his phone lit up with an incoming text message.
Kurt: Hi, David. I hope I didn't wake you. 11:16 PM
David sent a message back immediately.
David: No. Not asleep. What's going on? 11:17 PM
Kurt: Is it okay to call? 11:17 PM
David dialed Kurt's number in response.
"Hi, David. Thank you for calling." Kurt was speaking at a very low level, nearly a whisper.
"No problem. I wasn't asleep. I thought you were tired." David was speaking just above a whisper, his voice was scratchy and hoarse, but his tone receptive.
"I am. I just can't get to sleep for some reason. I thought you might still be awake."
"Well, Kurt, I was trying to sleep, but I couldn't get to sleep either. I mean, it is a Friday night, but it's not like I'm staying out late with friends or anything like that. Just another night to me for the most part."
Kurt felt terrible for David at that admission.
David continued. "I get up pretty early in the morning usually also, so I was thinking I should get to sleep just after we got off of the phone. That was nearly two hours ago. I was ready to turn on the TV. Sometimes that puts me right to sleep."
"Your voice sounds really rough, David. Everything okay?"
"Yeah," David said slowly, raspy-sounding. He answered slowly, hesitating somewhat. "It's... um... from when I tried to hang myself. It's always there when I talk quietly like this. Usually, when I talk at a normal conversational volume, it's not there, like my voice is normal. If I speak loudly, sometimes it just cuts out on me totally."
Kurt shuddered at the grim reminder. "Does it hurt at all?"
"No, just, if I talk like this for too long, I'll start to feel it a little more. It's also more pronounced when I'm laying down like I am now."
"Is it going to go away?"
"I don't know. It's been, like, almost a month. They did tell me that some of the injury to my throat might be permanent." Kurt audibly gasped in reaction; David continued. "It's no big deal, Kurt. It's not like I lost my voice or anything. I still sound normal most of the time. My breathing's normal."
A few moments of silence passed between them, then Kurt said, "Tell me a bedtime story, David."
David laughed in reaction followed by Kurt laughing as well. "I'm guessing that you meant that as a joke, right? I mean you're laughing too."
"Well, you did tell me that wonderful fantasy of yours last night. I can see why you'd want to think of it before you'd go to sleep." Kurt paused for a moment. "Do you remember when you were in the hospital? I asked you to think of something you were looking forward to in the future?"
"Yeah, of course, Kurt. That was easily the high-point of that week." David was smiling at the memory.
"Well, why did I need to help you with that? I basically said the whole thing. You obviously could have contributed some great ideas of your own."
David exhaled loudly. "I guess because, well, I didn't think of it at the time for one thing. I kinda buried those thoughts when I was around other people." David stopped for a moment. "I'm kinda surprised I told you last night."
"Are you disappointed that you told me?"
"No," David answered, sounding thoughtful. "I don't regret telling you. And you took it the right way." David trusted Kurt with such things, but he stopped short of telling him that. Instead, he opted to say, "Maybe you should tell me a bedtime story, Kurt."
Both boys laughed with Kurt answering. "I don't have one handy like you did."
"Adapt one of your fantasies; that's all I did," David offered.
"Oh my, David, I don't think so," Kurt quietly exclaimed. "I mean, I don't doubt that you have fantasies that were were a little too, um, 'hot' to tell me, but I don't think I'd feel comfortable telling any of my fantasies to you."
"Aw, bummer." David laughed quietly.
The two were quiet, listening to each other's breathing on the other side of the phone. It was calming for both of them.
"Have you worked on your History project any more, David?"
"I worked on it a little. I made notes as to the best things that both you and Blaine said and their place on the recording so I can locate them easily." David paused before continuing. "I need to set up those other interviews also. I touched base with those other guys, but I still need to find a place where I can conduct the interviews. More interviewees wouldn't hurt, but I think just the ones I have lined up would be enough." David paused again. "How about your school stuff?"
"The only really big things I have coming up are my finals. I need to decide on the song I'm going to sing for my NYADA audition, but it's probably going to be "Music of the Night" from Phantom. Of course, the glee club will be rehearsing like crazy for the national competition. We haven't selected the songs we're doing yet. It seems like that it always takes a long time pick those songs, and everyone fights over the selections."
"Really?" David sounded surprised. "I thought that all of you glee club people got along like a big, happy family."
"Oh. please, David, we've got twelve different egos fighting for the spotlight on any given day in the choir room, and you can't tell any one of them why they're wrong."
"I just, it... uh... never occurred to me that it would be that way," David said, still surprised.
"Well, at the end of the day, we are all friends. Working together and making music together is an experience that kind-of binds us."
"I get that part," David remarked. "I remember feeling like that when the football team did that halftime show with the glee club."
"So, then, the ego thing?" Kurt began to explain. "It's like, okay, you play right guard, right?"
"Yeah," David spoke, surprised that Kurt knew the position he played.
"You know you're good, but the coach wants someone else to start in that position. It would probably bother you, right?"
"Yeah it would," David answered. "I guess I see your point."
"I mean, solidarity, the glee club has that," Kurt added, "we always have each others' backs, but there's always infighting."
There was a pause before David spoke. "Y'know, back when we were rehearsing for that halftime thing, Mr. Shuester pulled me aside and told me that I was good at it." David paused again, thinking. "Do you think he was just saying that to get me to stop picking on the glee kids, which I stopped right then anyway, or do you think he meant that? I mean, you know him better than I do."
"Probably some of both, David. Mr. Schue sees talent in just about everyone. He also knows that talent needs to be encouraged and developed. The thing is, he's right about all those things. I don't doubt at all that you could be talented in that way, David. You're a smart guy. You could probably do just about anything that you set your mind to do. And, yeah, I'm sure that, in the back of Mr Schue's mind was this feeling that maybe that would get you to stop harassing the glee club people. He's the one who's endlessly idealistic and believes that getting us to sing and dance out our differences actually works. And it does most of the time."
David exhaled, like a half-laugh. "I just see myself as clumsy and big. I've seen how you people dance, and I don't think that I would look like I belonged there at all."
"Well, Finn was a pretty terrible dancer when we first started out. He's still not very good; but he is our lead male most of the time, and we have won competitions."
"Well," David dragged out, "it's too late for me to think about anything like that right now anyway."
Kurt was silent for a moment before speaking. "I think that, as much as I've come to know you, and most of it has surprised me in completely pleasant ways, David, I don't see even the David that I know now being part of a glee club. I could see him enjoying watching us perform, but actually being in the club and performing? I don't see that."
"I'd have never admitted it," David spoke, still scratchy, "but I did actually like watching you people perform sometimes."
"Well," Kurt said, "maybe I found my bedtime story."
"What's that?" David voiced somewhat less rough than earlier.
"Imagining how the glee club would have been with the friendly, thoughtful, and intelligent, if occasionally wise-ass, David Karofsky as a member."
David laughed aloud, trying to be quiet. "Oh, yeah? Then you'd have to remove all competition wins from that story, I think."
Both boys laughed and then were silent for a few moments. David was smiling to himself as Kurt spoke.
"David, thank you for calling me at this late hour. I think it actually helped."
"It's not really that late, Kurt, and, well, I was awake anyway. I keep weird hours sometimes. If you ever have trouble sleeping, text me or something. If I'm awake, I'd probably be up for talking."
"Thank you, David. I might take you up on that, and I'll try to not make you sorry for having just offered."
David laughed again. "What does that mean?"
"Oh, just me being silly." Kurt paused paused before saying, quietly, "Good night, David."
"Good night, Kurt."
The call ended, and David smiled to himself. Talking to and laughing with Kurt had apparently done the trick. David felt himself, smile still pleasant and very-much on his face, drifting into comfortable sleep for the night.
Kurt set his phone back on the bedside table, returning it to its charger. He lay on his back for a while, rolling thoughts from the conversation with David through his mind. Eventually, he turned on his side and pulled a big, overstuffed pillow next to him, against his chest, letting his head fall into the softness, his hand pulling the pillow gently into him, his body curling slightly into the thick pillow; and sleep found him shortly.
Saturday March 17
It was just after breakfast on Saturday morning when Kurt called Blaine directly, bypassing text-message etiquette.
"Hello!" the tinny voice on the phone greeted Kurt.
"Hi, Blaine," Kurt greeted back. "How is your morning so far?"
"Good so far. Just finished breakfast and was helping mom clean up the kitchen. You?"
"Honestly, about the same right now, Blaine. I did check into some things we might want to do this afternoon."
"So did I, Kurt," Blaine said, cheerful that Kurt showed enough interest to find some options. "What did you find?"
"Well, there's an art fair and student art show at the Allen County Community College along with a food festival there this weekend," Kurt began. "It's on from one o'clock to seven. I was thinking that if the food looked good and they had a decent place to sit down and eat, we could eat there after checking out the artwork."
"That sounds good," Blaine remarked, sounding positive. "I was going to suggest hanging out the OSU Lima campus because there's this coffee house there I heard some really wild things about. I was thinking I'd like to check it out."
"What's so special about this coffee house, Blaine?"
"Well, it's just supposed to be this really hip college-kinda place; and they have live music on Saturdays, so that might be cool. Really, that's all I had planned, but maybe we could go to the art show and food fair earlier in the day and go to the coffee house later for dessert."
"That sounds promising, Blaine: the whole thing. My idea and yours."
"Well, then, should I meet you at the community college and go from there?" Blaine asked, "And what time?"
"Is three o'clock good?" Kurt suggested. "That will give us a few hours to look around and it's close enough to dinnertime."
"That sounds good, Kurt," Blaine replied. "I'll see you then."
"Okay, Blaine. See you at three. Bye, Blaine."
"Goodbye, Kurt."
As Kurt ended the call, he was still not sure how he felt about Blaine, but the plan sounded refreshing at least.
Kurt wanted to touch base with David before he went out for the day, and, knowing David had planned to spend at least part of the afternoon with his father, he took the present time as the best to send David a text message.
Kurt: Good morning, David. How are you today? 9:50 AM
Kurt's phone rang immediately in response.
"Hi, David," Kurt greeted into the phone.
"Hey, Kurt," David sounded like he was breathing heavily, but his voice was clear and loud.
"What are you doing, David, you sound winded."
"I just got back upstairs from lifting, that's all."
"You lift early," Kurt observed.
"I lift whenever I have time to do it," David explained. "Actually, I usually lift first thing, but I slept a little late and Dad was already up, so I ate breakfast first and waited an hour before I lifted. Can't lift right after eating."
"Did you sleep well, David?" Kurt asked.
"Yeah, I did," David answered. "That's why I didn't get up at my normal time, I think. I usually jump right out of bed, no point in delaying the inevitable, right? But this morning, it felt so good that I just stayed there for another half-hour longer than usual." David paused for a moment. "Did you construct a bedtime story about me being in the McKinley glee club?" David punctuated the question with a good-natured laugh.
"No, but I did have an excellent night's sleep after our talk," Kurt admitted after laughing quietly. "Did your dad make breakfast?"
"Ha. His logic was that he was going to be cooking this afternoon, so we had the leftover cold pizza from yesterday's dinner."
"David," Kurt scolded, jokingly, "you and your dad are incorrigible."
"Yeah?" David responded in good-natured challenge, "You wouldn't have me any other way, and you know it, Hummel."
Both boys laughed. David spoke again. "So, did you and Blaine come up with something to do for today?"
"Yes, actually, we both came up with some ideas, and it looks like we'll get to do some of each."
"Well, that's cool," David offered. "I was going to say that if you didn't come up with anything, I'd be great with hanging with the two of you again. It was fun when we did that last time."
"Yeah," Kurt felt dismissive even if he tried to sound enthusiastic.
"So," David asked, "What are the two of you doing today?"
"Well, there's this art fair and student art show at the community college," Kurt explained. "We thought we'd go see that and maybe eat there because there's a food festival also. Then there's this coffee house near the OSU Lima campus that Blaine heard about and wants to go to."
"Oh, man, does he mean Moo-Lah-Lah?" David asked while laughing.
"Um, I don't know. I just know that it's near OSU Lima, and they have live music and it's supposed to be hip or something like that."
"That's gotta be the place," David said, laughing. "I went there with some of the football team when I was still going to McKinley. Something tells me you aren't going to dig it much, Kurt."
"Why?" Kurt was on the verge of a laugh. "What's it like?"
"Well, it was a Saturday night when we went," David began. "Several of us from the team went out toward OSU Lima, and we'd been drinking beer and heard about the place so we went there. Kurt, I'm not the hippest guy in the world, but I can tell fake-hip if I'm beat over the head with it. I know poseurs who would frown on the place."
"Oh my." Kurt rolled his eyes adding a chuckle. "Are we talking that it's so bad that it's good?"
"That has never completely worked for me, the so-bad-it's-good thing, but, like, there was a hot-looking chick dressed in a cow-print black-and-white-spotted bikini wearing a giant cow-mask. The only really great thing about the whole experience was that Strando kept hitting on her."
"Oh, no!" Kurt laughed. "That's priceless!"
"It's the stuff that memories are made of," David added. "I know that, if I run into Strando twenty years from now, I'm always gonna be able to remind him of the hot chick in the cow mask, and we'll always be able to get a good laugh out of it."
"Honestly, David, if you weren't already committed to spending time with your dad today, I'd ask you to come along," Kurt said as a friendly gesture.
"Uh," David sounded as if his mood dropped. "I don't know how I'd feel about just going out like that."
"David," Kurt reminded, "you were out with Sean and me the other day."
"For, like, twenty-five minutes," David reminded. "I was in a car most of the time. I had, like, five minutes of public exposure."
"Yeah, okay, David, but I am going to get you out of the house to do something fun sometime soon."
"Okay," David resigned. "Deal. But I just don't know how ready for that I am right now."
"No problem, David. I don't want to push you too hard, but..."
"Yeah, I know," David interjected. "I am going to need to get out to collect interviews for my project and put the whole thing together also, so it's inevitable. That will get me out whether I think I am ready or not." David paused, finally saying, "Sorry if I brought your mood down, Kurt."
"No," Kurt snapped quickly but not angrily. "You didn't bring my mood down, David. I'm actually now looking forward to the cow-headed bikini girl."
"Well, I should probably let you go so you can get ready for your excursion," David said. "Besides, I wanna jump in the shower and maybe take a look at some of my schoolwork before Dad and I get started on burning the house down."
Kurt laughed. "Okay, David. Talk later?"
"Sounds good, Kurt. Have a good time today."
"Thanks. Goodbye, David."
It was five-minutes-past-three. Even when he was on relationship-probation, Blaine was habitually late, Kurt thought to himself as he waited and scoped the parking lot for Blaine's car. Kurt didn't wait very long, though; by three-fifteen, Kurt saw Blaine's car approach from the far side of the Allen County Community College campus parking lot.
Blaine parked his car next to Kurt's Navigator, and the two greeted briefly and made their way toward the gallery entrance to the complex of buildings. Both boys were dressed rather casually today. This had been Kurt's typical look lately, though he did wear one of his signature-dressy ensembles to school on Wednesday: he said that the day just called for it (secretly, though, he didn't want to be accused of "selling out").
The two strolled through the gallery leisurely, taking in the sights of typical (and typically odd) student art projects. Many were actually quite well-rendered, much to the boys' pleasant surprise. Kurt lingered to take in some of the pieces for longer periods of time than Blaine who seemed to spend less time overall looking at the various artworks. Both boys did enjoy themselves, and Blaine did confess a fondness for a particularly large photograph which depicted a monochrome clock face with the profile of an actual person's face hidden within it.
Just outside the main gallery was the area where local artists and artisans had booths set up and were selling small pieces of art. These took many different forms from small watercolor paintings and photographs to handmade jewelry to glass suncatchers and pottery. Both of the boys stopped at one booth where an artist was selling handmade glass jewelry. These were primarily rings, pendants, and brooches with swirls of metallic elements and free-form streaks of color. Kurt singled-out one ring in particular. It consisted entirely of shiny black glass save for a wide diagonal stripe in the center which was bright pink in color. It fit his pinky perfectly; and, unlike most of the all-glass rings, this particular one wasn't overly large: it appeared as a proportionate size against Kurt's hand. Kurt paid ten dollars for the piece. He didn't want to wear it just yet, so he slipped it into his tasteful leather man-bag.
The two then proceeded to the cafeteria where the food fair was occurring. There were many different types of food there: there were many ethnic specialties with an emphasis on Irish food as it was Saint Patrick's Day, a fact which eluded Kurt earlier in the day until Blaine reminded him as they walked past the tables of various food items. Kurt was happy to find some healthy options and decided upon a piece of vegetarian lasagna; Blaine, keeping with the spirit of the holiday, had a generous piece of shepherd's pie.
"This was a pretty good idea, Kurt," Blaine opined between bites of his dinner.
"I'm enjoying myself," Kurt answered. "I'm glad you're liking it, Blaine. I was beginning to wonder when we were walking through the gallery. You seemed maybe a little impatient."
"Yeah," Blaine said, "admittedly, it's rare that I want to look at a piece of art for a long time, but you seemed to really like some of them."
Kurt shrugged, tilting his head. "Maybe I'm just trying to get a feel for what the artist's idea might be."
The two finished their dinners and left the cafeteria in the direction from which they entered. They were both happy with the food they'd eaten, and it was a new experience for both of them. On their return trip through the gallery, Kurt was struck by a painting which he'd missed on his way through the earlier time. It was a wide horizontal canvas, raw and unframed, displayed only on its wood stretcher bars. It was a dark painting depicting a lone figure in the center with two groups of figures, one group on each side. The group of figures to the left of the central figure wore faces of sadness and shame, one figure which appeared to be a young woman covering her face with her hands completely in grief; the group on the right side displayed mocking, menacing faces and angry smiles. The painting was primarily in black and white with a few touches of color; the figures' clothing was rendered loosely without much detail; but the faces were clear and strong, if not incredibly detailed. Most striking to Kurt was the face of the central figure: half in shadow, half in light. It was unmistakably David. Kurt then noticed one of the figures on the left bore more than a passing resemblance to Sean; and one face on the right side, a face which bore a smug grin seemed familiar as well, though Kurt couldn't place the person.
"This is amazing," Kurt whispered, nearly gasped to Blaine.
"Yeah, it's pretty cool," Blaine acknowledged, not noticing the likenesses. "Hey, Kurt, I'm gonna go find a restroom, okay?"
"Okay," Kurt said instinctively, getting further drawn into the image. Kurt studied the painting, backing away slightly, eyes exploring all corners and edges.
"Do you like it?" A girl's voice jolted Kurt out of his rapt state. "It's called 'For a Comrade'. It's not complete, but I wanted to show it."
Kurt turned to look at the source of the voice. She was short with black hair, icy eyes, and a curvy figure dressed in black jeans, a black vest, and a tightly-fitting black-and-white horizontally striped shirt. Kurt's expression betrayed great astonishment, near awe. "The painting is incredible."
"Thanks," the girl gave Kurt a hint of a smile.
Kurt turned back to the painting for a moment, then looked back upon the girl. "Is your name 'Gretchen'?" he asked.
Her face fell to a slightly wary expression. "Yeah," she answered sounding tough. "Who are you?"
"My name's Kurt," Kurt spoke slowly, still awed by the situation. "I'm a friend of David's." Kurt pointed in the direction of the canvas, mouth still agape. "That's him, isn't it?"
The girl's face relaxed to a smile. "Sean told me about you." She approached closer to Kurt and hugged him. Kurt normally would have been uncomfortable by being approached and embraced by a stranger, but Gretchen and he had an understood connection to David in common. "How is Dave?" she asked Kurt, her face pressed lightly against his chest.
Kurt stepped back from the embrace and smiled, taking the girl in with his eyes. "David is good. I speak to him just about every day."
"Sean says he's doing okay; he talks to him frequently also." Gretchen smiled as she spoke. "I really miss him."
"Gretchen, you could probably contact him any time," Kurt said quietly, almost pleading. "I'm sure he'd be very happy to hear from you."
"Kurt," Gretchen was equally sincere as she shook her head slightly. "David pushed all of us away at one point. It was almost hostile. It's hard to understand. He did kinda make up with us at one point, but everyone, Dave included, kept their distance."
"Sean didn't have a problem getting in touch with him," Kurt reminded.
"Well, everyone's different," Gretchen answered. "And I maybe said some pretty harsh things to Dave, things I wish I hadn't said. Sean was a little closer to Dave than the rest of that crowd. I think I was maybe closer than Sean, though."
Kurt exhaled loudly then spoke. "Let's just arrange to get together sometime. We'll get David out of his house, which I believe is something he really needs, and get him together with the people who really want to see him. I think it would do him an immeasurable amount of good to see how many people really miss him."
"Tell you what," Gretchen spoke to Kurt directly, "if you arrange that, get that going, you can definitely count on me being in."
Kurt smiled in response, turning back to look at the painting. Gretchen added, "Just let Sean know if you want to set something like that up."
"Still admiring this painting?" Blaine said, returning from the restroom.
"Yes," Kurt said, "I was just talking to the artist." Kurt turned to introduce Blaine to Gretchen, but she was gone. "She's... she was here a second ago." Kurt's face turned puzzled. "She goes to Thurston. She knows David and Sean." Kurt pointed toward the face of the figure in the center of the painting.
"That's cool, Blaine answered. "I was jus... whoa," Blaine noticed exactly where Kurt was pointing. "That's Karofsky. She's really good."
Blaine spent a few moments taking in the painting while Kurt visually scanned the gallery in vain for Gretchen before the two young men departed for their visit to the other planned stop. They climbed into Kurt's Navigator and departed.
"So," Kurt began, "is this coffee house we're going to called Moo-Lah-Lah?"
""Yes, that's the place; I couldn't think of the name before," Blaine sounded enthusiastic. "How'd you know?"
"I was talking with David today, and he'd mentioned that he'd been there."
"Oh yeah? What did he say about it?"
"Well," Kurt began, not wanting to sound negative, "he said he was there one night when he was out drinking with the guys from the McKinley football team, so I guess he didn't remember much."
As the Navigator approached the campus, the two began to notice an increasing amount of pedestrian traffic; the deeper they proceeded toward the college, the thicker and less cautious to vehicles the crowds became.
"What is wrong with these people?" Kurt asked, incredulous. "That guy just about walked right out in front of me!"
"Uh, it's a college town on Saint Patrick's Day," Blaine explained carefully. "They probably all started drinking at around noon." Blaine appeared suddenly frightened that he hadn't considered that when suggesting the trip.
Kurt shook his head in exasperation. "Maybe we should just park here and walk to the coffee house," he suggested.
"Yeah," Blaine chimed back, "solid idea."
Luckily, Kurt was able to pull his vehicle into a parking garage, feeling very fortunate that it wasn't filled to capacity. Kurt and Blaine embarked on foot through crowded streets to walk three blocks to the coffee shop, dodging drunk revelers regularly.
The walls were painted in psychedelic swirls of color with ornate trim moulding in harsh primary colors, the cafe chairs and tables were painted in the same harsh primary colors (save for a few which were painted in checkerboard, harlequin diamond, or black-and-white zigzag patterns), and there were subtle references to drug use and paraphernalia everywhere (most of these eluded Kurt and Blaine as they are good kids; though the ornate collection of waterpipes displayed on a high shelf which bore an emphatic sign reading "BONGS ARE ORNAMENTAL NOT FOR SALE OR USE" were understood by the two boys). There was indeed live music in the form of a reggae band set up at one of the far corners of the rather small room. In the center of the far wall was the coffee bar and a case filled with dessert items; standing by the self-serve condiment counter was the infamous hot-girl-in-a-bikini-with-a-giant-cow-mask (although on this day, she was dressed in a button-down shirt, tails tied into a knot exposing her navel, and cut-off denim shorts à la Daisy Duke. There was a couple in one of the booths engaged in an intense makeout session and a fair amount of people sitting around at the tables. Some of them appeared to be enjoying the music which was far too loud for the small room (Blaine and Kurt had to yell at each other to be heard above the music).
Kurt and Blaine approached the counter, picked out dessert items from the case, and ordered beverages. Kurt wasn't in the mood for a caramel latte, opting instead for the coffee-of-the-day (an Irish-cream flavor) and a slice of cheesecake; Blaine ordered a triple-mocha latte and a slice of carrot cake. Kurt apprehensively approached the condiment counter and the girl in the cow mask courteously dispensed cream into his cup until he signalled her to stop: creepy, Kurt thought, and he kinda had his heart set on seeing the cow-print bikini.
The two took a table as far away from the action as they could near the exit door. Kurt was having a difficult time containing his laughter while Blaine appeared unsure of everything in his surroundings. "What do you think of the band?" Blaine yelled across the tiny table to Kurt.
Kurt yelled back, "Sounds like they're good musicians, but it also sounds like this might be the first time they ever played together; and they're too loud for this small space."
Blaine wasn't sure what to make of the first part of Kurt's assessment. "How's your cheesecake?" Blaine yelled over the din.
"Oh, it's actually good," Kurt made his voice as loud as he could without stressing his vocal cords. "The coffee is really good too. Yours?"
"Everything's really good, uh, except the place and everything in it," Blaine yelled, trying to sound apologetic while raising his voice. "I'm really kinda sorry; I didn't expect that it'd be like this."
Kurt smiled. "I'm actually liking this, I mean, it's an experience." Kurt craned his head and looked around. "You know that big blonde kid on the McKinley football team who asked me about David a few times?"
"Uh, yeah?"
"David said that when they came here, the blonde kid kept hitting on the girl in the cow mask!" Kurt said with a huge smile.
Blaine's face pulled into a smile, unsure of which reaction would be most appropriate. The two continued to eat their desserts and finish their coffee, looking up occasionally to catch glimpses of people coming or going past them.
The two of them sat there, looking around the place for a few minutes after finishing their coffee when a college-age couple walked in. The couple had obviously been drinking and the girl was being held upright by the young man who accompanied her. The couple walked past the table where Kurt and Blaine were sitting, then the girl stopped dead in her tracks. Kurt and Blaine watched as the boy tried to get the girl to move forward while the girl lifted her head up and vomited with the seeming force of a firehose onto a vacant table in front of her.
Kurt and Blaine both looked at each other: Kurt seemed strangely amused while Blaine was horrified. "I think it's time to leave," the pair yelled at each other in unison.
They rose from their chairs and exited the doors as quickly as possible while they could hear the boy behind them trying to console his drunk girlfriend by repeating in a drunken slur, "Oh, baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." as he mopped her face with napkins from a tabletop dispenser.
The walk back to the parking garage required dodging even more drunk pedestrians than before. "At least they're not driving," Kurt observed.
As they neared the garage, one drunk, possibly high, girl became fascinated with the lacquered sheen of Blaine's hair and began touching it as he walked past her, cooing gently as she petted his coiffure. Blaine was slightly paralyzed by the event, so much so that Kurt had to grab his forearm and nearly drag him out of her grasp.
The two finally returned to the car and began on the road back to the community college to reunite Blaine with his car. Kurt seemed in good spirits: light hearted and smiling. Blaine was tense but tried to be receptive.
"I guess you found all of that funny?" Blaine asked, not accusing though perhaps a bit shaken, just making conversation.
"Yeah," Kurt confirmed, "and your reaction to it was funny, especially considering the times I've seen you react to alcohol yourself."
Blaine's expression soured a bit. "What do you mean by that, Kurt?"
Kurt rolled his eyes and huffed. "Blaine, I've seen you get drunk twice. Once I watched you make out with Rachel Berry; the aftereffect of this was a weeklong identity crisis in which you thought you might be straight or bisexual or something. The second resulted in you trying to convince me to have sex with you in the backseat of my car in the parking lot of a trashy bar."
Blaine fought the urge to be downright appalled. He opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it, thinking that he might not have a case. Finally, after about a minute of silence, he said, "Yeah, the Rachel thing was stupid, and the backseat thing was because I was trying to lose my virginity before opening night of the musical." Blaine realized that possibly he shouldn't have confessed the second part.
Kurt looked at Blaine, a comically-puzzled expression. "What was that about losing your virginity before the musical?"
Blaine exhaled and shook his head guiltily. "Artie told me and Rachel that he didn't think we were convincing as sexually-active kids on stage if we had never experienced sex itself and suggested that we lose our virginity before the musical opened. It was stupid. Neither of us made good on that suggestion anyway."
Kurt rolled his eyes. "That's what that was all about? I'm not sure which would have been worse: you being all over me because you were drunk or you being all over me for something that amounted to an assignment." Kurt nearly laughed.
Blaine was surprised. "You're not upset at that?"
"No, Blaine, it was months ago. Really, it upset me more at the time that you left angry that night." Kurt focused on the road ahead as he drove. "Dealing with you when you're drunk is kinda fun, but you do have a tendency to do things of, um, questionable judgement. Or impaired judgement might be better."
The two remained silent for a while until Blaine spoke again. "It kinda bums me out that your reaction is so, like, casual about that stuff."
"What 'stuff'?"
"Like the stuff that happened when I got drunk those couple of times," Blaine said.
"Blaine," Kurt said, trying to sound decisive, "it bothered me at the time, but that was months ago, really." Kurt exhaled loudly again. "It just might be a good idea to watch how much you drink in the future."
Blaine was coming to the realization that the general indifference on Kurt's part might actually be an indicator that something in the relationship they had might be indeed lost.
They returned to the community college, and Kurt told Blaine that he had an interesting time,and he meant that in a positive way. Blaine didn't share Kurt's positive assessment of the day, however. The two politely said their goodbyes and parted for the evening.
Kurt returned home just before eight o'clock to find Burt and Carole curled up on the couch with the television on. He greeted them and told them he was out with Blaine. This prompted no reaction from either.
Retiring to his bedroom, possibly for the rest of the night, Kurt sent a text message to David, and his phone rang within the minute.
"Good evening, David," Kurt greeted brightly.
"Hi, Kurt. How was your Saturday?"
"It was actually pretty great, David. How did the cooking experiment turn out?"
"Oh, really good, actually; and the house is still here."
"Well, that's a promising thing, David!" Kurt laughed. "How was the actual food?"
"Ah, it was pretty killer. Dad says he's going to do that every couple of days: scope out some easy-sounding recipe and make dinner. Maybe I'll actually learn how to cook in all of this."
"You can't cook at all, David?"
"Ah, I do okay. I can cook easy stuff. If left alone, I wouldn't starve." David paused for a moment before speaking again. "So, tell me about your day, Kurt."
"David, you'll never guess who I met today."
"Kurt, you're probably right, so I'm not even going to try."
"Oh, c'mon, one guess?" Kurt pried.
"Oh, um, one of those Twilight guys?"
"Oh, geeze, no, David. I met your friend Gretchen. She had a painting in that art show."
"Oh," David spoke slowly, measured. "Wow. Did you talk to her at all?"
"Yes, well, I kinda figured out that it might be her from the way you and Sean had talked about her, and I just introduced myself as your friend, and she hugged me."
"That sounds like Gretchen," David said, still processing the information.
"She seems very-much like someone who doesn't put any distance between what she's thinking and feeling and what she says and does."
David laughed quietly. "Yeah, you nailed her personality with that, definitely. Did you and Blaine go to the coffee house?"
"Oh yes. I enjoyed the experience. The cow-headed hot-girl was there, the music was too loud, and I watched a drunk girl projectile-vomit onto one of the tables. It was like an R-rated Chuck E. Cheese for the chemically-inclined."
David broke into a loud peal of laughter.
"I think, like you said before, these are the things memories are made of," Kurt clarified. "Blaine, though, was nonplussed by the place. The coffee and desserts were very good, though. Elsewhere, we fought through a college town filled with Saint Patrick's Day partiers who probably began drinking at noon."
"Sounds like quite an experience, Kurt."
"I had a good time, David. Not the best time I've ever had, but a far better time than last Saturday. I do need to say that I would have enjoyed myself even more if I was with someone who could appreciate the absurdity of it all. That usually isn't Blaine."
There were a few moments of silence before David spoke again. "Big week coming up, Kurt?"
"Mmmm," Kurt thought, "no, not much I can think of except the normal school stuff."
"Cool."
The silence seemed to hang between them for a while.
"What were you doing when I texted you, David?" Kurt finally asked.
"Nothing, really. Looking at this week's assignments in my books. Rupert has gotten to the point that he gives me my lesson plans a week in advance because I'm generally ahead of where the rest of the classes are."
"That's good, David."
Odd silence hung between them again.
"Besides dinner," Kurt asked, "did you do anything interesting with your dad today?"
"We talked while we were making dinner and we watched some TV together for a while." David thought for a moment. "You know, Kurt, as much as I know my dad feels bad for me, I feel bad for him. His wife left; and I was the cause of all of that, regardless of what he tells me. I think about him being lonely, and it just kinda kills me sometimes."
"I understand, David. It was just my dad and me for a long time. But these things have a way of working out. Your dad is sticking by you, and that's huge."
"Yeah, I know. I'd be nowhere without him, literally."
"Well, David, regardless of how alone he might feel, I'm sure he wouldn't be anywhere else right now."
At that , David smiled. He knew it was true, and he felt secure and safe in that.
After a another span of silence passed, David spoke. "Well, it sounds like you had a long day, and you probably want to get to sleep soon. I don't want to keep you up if that's the case."
"Well, I wasn't doing anything specific, but I do feel the experiences of the day catching up with my energy-level, I must admit," Kurt agreed.
"Well, then, I should let you wind-down. Thanks for talking, Kurt."
"Thanks for warning me about the cow-headed girl." Both Kurt and David laughed. "Good night, David." Kurt spoke softly.
David felt a contented laugh rising, but it arrived as only a sort-of half-laugh. "Good night, Kurt."
Tuesday March 20
The weekend progressed and ended in a predictable fashion for Kurt; the same could be said for the beginning of the week. Despite the unremarkable way in which the week began, he had some difficulty keeping in touch with David. After a typically friendly conversation with David on Sunday evening, Kurt found himself occupied after school on Monday, dealing with a minor Rachel Berry meltdown while Finn was occupied at Burt's garage (by the time Finn was informed of the situation, Kurt had successfully defused Rachel's issue-of-the-moment). Though Kurt and David had volleyed a few text messages back-and-forth during the day, Kurt didn't get a chance to speak to David until just before dinner, and, even then, David had told Kurt that Sean would be stopping by that evening to keep David abreast of class discussion topics and other things not covered specifically in the texts (truth told, these meetings were giving Sean a distinct edge in the classes as David was already working on the next week's material in many cases). Kurt was fully expecting to hear from David later Monday evening, but he never did. Kurt assumed that Sean perhaps stayed later than usual and David perhaps assumed that Kurt was asleep. This was something that Kurt actually appreciated: talkative as David often is, he's always conscious of Kurt's sleep schedule; and Sean's presence left Kurt feeling like David's contact with the outside world was less of a personal responsibility of Kurt's (and it bothered Kurt to consider David in terms of being a responsibility, but that's how it honestly felt to Kurt sometimes).
Tuesday was much-the-same as Monday. Kurt hadn't heard from David the previous evening, and Kurt felt rushed in the morning, not sending a text message to David early, then not mid-morning either, fearing he'd be a distraction during David's morning work with his tutor.
Though no late-afternoon crisis confronted Kurt this particular day, he still found himself occupied after school: Sue Sylvester's drill-sergeant approach to dance lessons left all of the glee club members is a state of absolute commiseration which manifested itself in an extended whining session, cutting into Kurt's after-school/pre-dinner time. Finally, after he'd finished his dinner in the typically-empty early-evening weeknight Hummel-Hudson house, Kurt made himself comfortable and dialed David's number.
"Hello." David's voice was loud and indifferent-sounding: not the abrupt, quiet, near-mumble which characterizes one of his lesser moods, but certainly not cheerful.
"Hello, David! How are you?"
"I'm okay." David was still loud and clear, still indifferent-sounding. "How're things with you, Kurt?"
"It's been a busy few days for me."
"That's cool." David countered abruptly. It almost seemed like he should have followed it with the phrase 'must be nice'.
Kurt spoke more measured, cautious this time. "It's been a couple of days since we talked. How have you been?"
There was a pause before David answered. "I've been okay. Same as I have been."
Kurt waited before speaking, trying to decode David's tone. "So, did Sean visit you last night?"
"Yeah," David's answer was quick. "I guess that takes some of the responsibility off of you." David wished he hadn't said that. If he'd have thought about it for a second before he spoke, it would have remained unsaid.
Kurt, on the other hand, was pained by the statement. David did sometimes feel like a responsibility; but Kurt always felt that he was careful to not give David that impression.
"Okay, David, I don't know where that came from," Kurt began. "I am trying my best where you are concerned. I thought it would be a lot harder than it is: it's been easy to get to know you, but sometimes you hit me with some attitude that I don't understand. I love talking to you, I love the way your mind works, and I'm really proud of this person you've become, David. The thing is... "
"Aw, man," David interrupted Kurt. "What is that? I mean, what exactly is that? You're not my dad. You're not one of my teachers. Where do you get this idea that you have some stake in me that you can say you're proud of me? I don't ever recall being in some mentorship arrangement with you, Hummel."
David didn't know how many of those sentences had been heard by Kurt. By the time he finished, the phone call had ended; Kurt had hung up on him.
David sat down on the floor of his bedroom, disgusted in himself, trying to trace what exactly led him to speak that way to Kurt. Since the time they'd been defined as 'friends', Kurt hadn't ever hung up on David. Kurt hadn't done anything the least bit rude or even uncaring where David was concerned. This was a flashback to the way David felt when he was at McKinley but without the outward hostility: the rage was internalized.
David remained sitting on the floor as the oncoming dusk darkened the windows, David's desk lamp throwing a pool of light which spilled just sufficient enough to dimly illuminate the entire room in the approaching dark. As alone as he'd felt at times recently, he'd never felt this alone, and he could only blame himself for the profound sense of abandonment that settled in the pit of his stomach, causing him to develop a definite nausea. He'd been sitting there for about twenty minutes, rolling his conversation with Kurt around in his head, when he heard a knock at his bedroom door.
"Come in," David spoke clearly but quietly.
His bedroom door opened and Kurt stepped in. David's body language betrayed fear, as if he were bracing himself for some physical attack. "What are you doing here, Kurt?" David spoke almost meekly, a roughness apparent in his voice, his eyes afraid to look upward.
Kurt closed the door behind himself and spoke clearly and precisely at a quiet but plainly audible conversational volume. "Don't talk; just listen to me. I don't know why you spoke to me like that. When I think about what you said, you're right, but it sounds like you intended to hurt me or make me angry. David, I won't suffer that kind of behavior from you again. I don't want to hear you apologize to me again either. Tomorrow we go back to the way we were yesterday, when we were talking like regular people, when we related to each other as friends."
David looked up at Kurt, an uncertain but benign expression on his face.
"David, if you talk like that to me again, I'm done with this."
"I don't deserve another chance, Kurt."
"Be quiet and listen, David." David dropped his gaze away from Kurt and back to the floor. "Okay, maybe you're right. Maybe you don't deserve another chance. But maybe I'm doing this for me. I don't think you can deny that we enjoy each other's company, and I look forward to the times that we spend together, David, but I will put up with only so much."
"You have a history of running away from things. When you can't run away from something that threatens you, you find a way to push it away. David, you ran away from me after you kissed me. You ran away from Blaine and me when we tried to help you the next day. You made it so bad for me that I had to leave McKinley. You ran away at the prom. You ran away from McKinley. You pushed away all of your friends at Thurston. You tried to run away by killing yourself, David. Now it feels like you're pushing me away. Again. I know you're a smart guy. You know you're intelligent. Can you maybe find some strength in yourself so you can stop running and pushing people away from you? I care about you, David; and it's not just out of pity or something, I really care about you, but I have a limit. I know it didn't help before, but it's just possible that you need professional help, David."
"You've gotta get out of this house once in a while, David. Start small. You and your dad are invited to the Hummel-Hudson house for dinner this Saturday evening. You don't have a choice in this unless you're deathly ill or something; I've already discussed this with your dad, and he's on board. That's all. I'll talk to you tomorrow, David."
With that, Kurt turned around, walked through the threshold, and closed the door behind himself.
David's mind was calmed somewhat. Kurt was forgiving far beyond anything David felt he deserved, but that was exactly what made David feel slightly better at the moment. Kurt's direct-but-civil, nearly polite, delivery burned; David would have rather Kurt yelled at him. As horrid as David felt, there were no tears: he couldn't cry for himself, he didn't deserve even the luxury of shedding those tears. He felt low, and he'd earned all of it.
Once again, David sat in the solitude of his bedroom when he heard a knock at his bedroom door.
"Come in," David sounded far more hoarse than earlier.
The door opened and Paul stood in the doorway. He stepped slowly into David's bedroom while David stood slowly.
"Sit down, David, you and I are going to talk," Paul spoke clearly and softly.
David sat on the trunk at the foot of his bed; Paul sat next to him. "I know something is wrong. I can see it in the way you act. Kurt obviously knew. He showed up unannounced and was very serious when I let him in. David, I want to help you if I can. Please allow me to try." Paul paused, measuring his next sentence. "What's wrong, David?"
David turned and looked at his father. He had an element of anger in his eyes, but it was unfocused, perhaps internalized. "I put Kurt through a lot of hell at McKinley, Dad."
Paul looked intently at David, nodding. He knew this part. David continued.
"After everything I did to him, he sincerely wanted to help me. He saw that part of me for who I was before anyone else knew, he saw my struggle, and he was kind when he had every right to delight in my pain. And when I was finally coming to grips with myself, he took me on as a friend. Dad, I thought I was having feelings for him and those feelings went back a long way."
After a silence, Paul spoke. "You say that he knew about you before anyone else. Did you tell him?"
David's face pained and his eyes began to get heavy with tears. "No, Dad. Not voluntarily and not in so many words."
Paul made a confounded expression and asked, "I don't understand, David."
"Dad, it was right when I singled Kurt out. I was throwing him into lockers every time I saw him. Sometimes I'd go out of my way to abuse him. Dad, I was terrible with Kurt."
"Can you maybe tell me why, David. I don't understand that part."
"I was trying to crush the fact that I was attracted to men. He didn't have a problem owning that part of him it. He was proud of it. I felt that he and I couldn't coexist, or maybe I just couldn't reconcile his existence in my world, where I'd had it in my head that it was wrong and something to be ashamed of, not something that someone should make public, let alone actually be proud of. The more I realized things about myself, the harder I pushed against it. And if I couldn't acknowledge that about myself, I couldn't allow it for anyone if I could help it."
"Dad, anyone who says this is easy or thinks this is a choice, I'm proof that they're wrong. I fought this with everything I had, and the whole time, it made me a bad person, a completely hateful person. I might not be exactly right in the head now, but I feel a lot healthier upstairs than I did then."
Paul took David's hand into his and spoke, "I know it's not a choice, David. I can see how hard it's been for you."
"One day, Kurt chased after me after I threw him into a locker." David looked away from Paul. "He followed me into the locker room and he started yelling at me, really harsh. I threw a couple of stupid insults back at him, but the stuff he was saying was really getting to me. Part of me felt like he was challenging me, but I know that wasn't true." David's voice was getting rougher, lumped, on the edge of crying. "I think I wanted to prove to him that he wanted me; or maybe I just wanted him. I grabbed him by his head, pulled him in and..." David gasped, tears spilling from his eyes, "I kissed him."
Paul continued to listen. He put his arm around David's shoulder, trying to calm him as he talked.
"And even after all that, Dad, I had to threaten him, like I was going to kill him if he told anyone. Yeah, I really did that. By the time he came back to McKinley, I was halfway to accepting myself, and Kurt could see everything. He never told anyone, he tried to help me, and he was patient. He showed me more kindness and respect than I deserved. I saw that kindness and patience, and I wanted to be close to him. I hadn't seen him in months when I was at Thurston, but then I ran into him, and I realized that I had feelings for him for everything he did to try to help me. I mean, I didn't really know Kurt then. I told him how much I felt that he meant to me, and he told me that it just wasn't logical for me to feel that way. Okay, it hurt a lot when he told me that, but he was right; and when I thought about it, I rationalized those feelings, and we became friends."
"What's got me is, right now, I actually do know Kurt now, and I think those feelings are coming back, and I know he doesn't feel the same way."
Paul pulled against David's shoulder and took one of David's hands into his. Paul spoke quietly and gently as David sniffed through stray sobs and intermittent tears. "David, some of this is new to me, but the main thing that's going on here isn't. Maybe I can help you with this."
David turned his face to meet his father's eyes, and his father spoke. "First off, if I'd have known that you had these feelings for Kurt, I'd have never asked him to stay here with you last week. That must have been torture for you, David."
"Dad, that was actually okay. I really enjoyed spending that time with Kurt,"
"Well, regardless, it wouldn't have been the greatest idea had I known."
Paul continued. "Here's what's happening, David. Kurt broke your heart, not through malice or deceit, but it still happened. Everybody goes through this when they're around your age, it's almost a rite of passage. I did when I was in tenth grade; okay, it was over a girl, but I'm sure the feelings are the same."
David's eyes became clearer, interested.
"Her name was Jamie. Sure, there were girls that I thought were prettier than she was, but she was the first girl to show me any kind of attention, and it was great. And then I got all of these warm ideas and thoughts about her, and, yes, feelings. She didn't feel the same way, she was just being a good friend."
"So, what happened?" David asked.
"We went out with a group of friends a several times. After a while, I finally asked her out, but she said she just wanted to be friends. It hurt. It hurt a lot, David. The thing is, it was temporary."
"Did you stay friends, Dad?" David asked, appearing almost hopeful.
"Yes we did. We were friends all through the rest of high school. Really good friends. We lost touch after that, but that kinda stuff happens, I guess."
"I don't wanna mess up my friendship with Kurt, Dad, and I feel like I'm messing it up. I mean, we'll have days where we're great. We talk like we're best friends and laugh; and then I start feeling alone and I get resentful feelings when Kurt's done nothing wrong really."
"I think you're going to be okay, David. Kurt obviously values your friendship. I mean, he invited us over for dinner on Saturday."
David's face returned a small, if unsure, smile; Paul smiled back as he pulled David into an embrace.
"Dad, you're amazing," David said.
"David, this was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Are you a little better now?"
David and Paul unwrapped their embrace. "Dad, I don't know if I'm exactly okay right now, but I know that I'm going to be okay."
Paul stood, looking down at David, his hand lingering on David's shoulder, thinking that this talk was truly easier than he'd have imagined it would be. He was relieved, and he felt closer to his son than he had a mere fifteen minutes earlier.
Wednesday March 21
"Why don't you come over this Saturday?" Kurt asked Blaine. "The more, the merrier."
"I don't know," Blaine replied slowly. "Last Saturday was just kinda strange."
"But, we'll just be hanging out at my place, and David will be there."
There were a few moments of silence between the two of them as they waited for the bell to signal the end of their free study period. "I think I'll pass, Kurt, Yeah, I'll be cool with hanging with you and Karofsky and anyone else sometime soon, sure; but I'm just not feeling it right now."
"Well, just remember that you're invited should you change your mind, Blaine," Kurt reminded.
Saturday March 24
David sat in the passenger's seat of his dad's car as Paul drove the short fifteen minute drive to the Hummel-Hudson house.
"So, have I ever met Kurt's stepbrother?" Paul asked David.
"Finn Hudson?" David replied. "Probably not, but he was the QB for the Titans, so you've seen him play. He's a nice guy, and I'm kinda looking forward to seeing him again. Kurt's dad kinda scares me, though."
Paul smirked. "Burt? He seems like a nice guy."
David shook his head. "I don't doubt he's a nice guy and an awesome dad to Kurt. He always looks so intense, Dad. Y'know he chased me down in the hall at McKinley after he saw me mocking Kurt one day; forced me up against the wall in the hallway. Scared the crap outta me."
"I'd do the same if someone was threatening you, David."
David nodded.
The car approached Kurt's house and pulled into the driveway. It was nearly dark outside, and there were few lights on within the house. Paul and David climbed out of the car, approached the front door, and rang the bell.
A moment later, the door opened, a light turned on, and the silhouette of Burt, ubiquitous baseball cap on his head, was welcoming them into the house. "Good evening, gentlemen. Come in, please."
"Hi Burt," Paul greeted.
"Hello, Mr. Hummel," David sounded quiet, somewhat nervous.
The two came into the house and Burt took their jackets, leaving them on a coat rack in the hallway. The house was quiet. David could smell food, but couldn't see much because, although he looked around, everything seemed dark. Burt moved a few steps away from the entryway toward a lighted area. "C'mon this way guys." Burt waved David and Paul in his direction.
They were standing at the threshold to the kitchen. It was well lit, but Dave was surprised to see that the kitchen was very neat and showed no signs of having been used to prepare a meal; neither was the dining room table set.
"Hey Burt," Paul spoke, "Could you show me to the bathroom?"
"Sure thing, Paul; follow me." Burt turned his gaze momentarily to David. "Just wait here. I'll be back in a second."
With that, Burt led Paul back into the darkness of the rest of the house leaving David just inside the dimly-lighted kitchen. Burt returned after a moment, walked into the kitchen, and stood next to David silently for a moment. The two were looking at each other's faces, David was trying to read Burt's expression. He could not, and, after some seconds, David had to look away: Burt's intense green eyes were intimidating to him.
"Kurt and Finn are in the basement. You can join them down there until we get the table set and dinner ready." Burt's voice wasn't particularly unfriendly, but his stoic expression and penetrating, almost accusing, eyes were not exactly making David feel welcome. As the two walked over to the door which led to the basement, David couldn't help wishing his dad was there.
The door to the basement was in half-light. When Burt opened it for David, the stairs were dark, but light was coming from the lower level. David looked at Burt whose eyes were catching the light, making them appear all-the-more intense. If David was now quite apprehensive, he was trying to not show it. "After you, Dave," Burt said calmly, gently placing his hand on David's shoulder, directing him down the basement steps.