The blasted shark would not die.

After careful consideration and mentally running through various scenarios, I came to the conclusion that I had to completely discard my plan and simply murder my partner. However, I had to be cautious as to what methods I could use. An outright attack would probably fail, and if Kisame didn't kill me for such actions, Pein would. So, what was I to do? Easy. I needed to create a viable façade to cover up my diabolical scheme.

The first idea I crafted involved training with Kisame. After all, we were both killers who trained with lethal force; an accidental death on the battlefield wouldn't raise much suspicion, would it?

Yet I encountered nothing but problems whilst utilizing this method. He ducked my swings, dodged my kicks, and flawlessly avoided my Sharingan. While I did congratulate myself for realizing that a direct attack was out of the question beforehand, I was nonetheless thoroughly angered at my failure.

The next plot is not one of which I am very proud. Poisoning has always been the murder choice for women, you know. But, desperate times called for desperate measures.

The first thing I had to accomplish, though, was becoming a decent enough cook that Kisame would eat my food without suspicion. It was a challenge in and of itself, particularly since Hidan stood by for the better part of my self-teaching and jeered at me. A few well placed knives in his corneas, though, soon solved that problem, and once I had been left alone it took but a fortnight before I deemed my food edible.

Now that the preliminary items had been taken care of, I merely had to select the dish which would carry the vital concoction I had swiped from Sasori's desk (a crime for which I was never suspected. I do believe that Deidara took the fall for that, seeing as for several days after the theft, we heard loud screams from their room, and Deidara walked about with a pronounced limp whenever he was even able to exit their chambers). I finally settled on a tuna casserole for my weapon of choice.

Laugh all you want, but I am not above a bit of poetic irony. Besides, what better way to kill a shark than with a tainted fish?

Everything was going according to plan, until that blasted lunatic known as Zetsu devoured the portion I'd been intending for Kisame. I didn't even have the chance to slip him a fresh piece before the plant man felt the toxin's effects.

Fortunately for me, Pein diagnosed the issue as an allergic reaction and let the matter drop. I'd been expecting the cause to be listed as merely food poisoning, but as long as I wasn't in harm's way, it was no matter.

The most infuriating part of this time period for me was that while I longed for my partner's untimely demise, I longed for his comfort even more. Much as it shames me to admit it, I'd become addicted to his caresses. I was no better than a heroin addict with an overwhelming craving for my drug of choice. A drug by the name of Kisame.

I swear, if you EVER tell anyone that those words left my mouth, you will die horribly, slowly, painfully, and soon.

My attachment and loathing could not coexist within me, of course. One emotion would eventually win out, and I was praying that it would be the latter. Yet I knew that there was a strong chance that the affections would emerge as the victor; thus, I had to remove my partner immediately. And so, I came up with a rather straightforward plan not long after the casserole incident.

I put my plot into affect one night as we were lounging together in the base. Kisame had stepped out of the still-steamy bathroom not a moment before then, and like me was now clad only in a pair of black boxers. He was drying off his hair, I made my move and called out to him. He looked at me, patiently waiting for me to finish as I knew he would. Really, it was going to be such a shame to lose someone that so clearly respected me.

As I rose from our mattress and approached him, I ran the plan through my mind over and over. I'd walk up to the shark, kiss him, and while he was still distracted/stunned from the kiss, I'd reach up and snap his neck. When the others investigated, I'd claim that Kisame had attacked me first, and the shark (being dead and whatnot) would be unable to protest.

Naturally, I was a tiny bit nervous. Many things could go wrong in this scheme, I knew that all too well. Yet I had to take this risk, and try to rid myself of my accursed partner once and for all.

To make a long story short, I did indeed stand on tiptoe and kiss my partner. As expected, he froze up, which allowed me to put my hands in neck-snapping position. But I couldn't do it. The moment my lips touched his, I knew I wouldn't be able to carry out my plan. In that moment, I knew which emotion had won out.

To make matters worse, he responded by kissing back, and running his calloused hands down my back. It felt wonderful, and my body involuntarily shivered.

To say that I was horrified by my own response is a grand understatement.

Everything had gone to hell in a hand-basket, and I needed to find a bit of space to clear my head. Without further adieu, I fled the room and the base. Five minutes later, I was perched on top of our mountainside base, my legs dangling off the edge of a cliff as I stared off into the starry night.

As I sat there, contemplating whether or not to leap off the mountain, Kisame approached me. Without waiting for an invitation (or even asking my permission, for that matter) he seated himself beside me. He didn't speak, didn't reach out to me, didn't do anything, really. He just reclined there and looked at the sky.

For the longest time, neither of us made a move or a sound. Finally, he scooted closer to me. He kept moving, until finally we were pressed side to side on that mountaintop. "Itachi…"

"Hn?"

He looked at me, and I looked at him. For a time, he didn't go on. And when he finally spoke, I almost wished that he'd remained silent. "Itachi, I'm starting to think that you really care about me (HA!) and I want you to know…um…I kinda like you too."

Tell me, what is the correct response to a confession like that?

I wasn't sure what to do. But I had to go with my gut instinct, since my intelligence couldn't produce a good response. I rotated my body to face him, glaring all the while at the shark. "You," I began as I rose on my knees. "Are…" I continued whilst moving closer to him.

By now, we were barely separated with less than a few inches between our bodies. I was well aware that what I was about to do would probably destroy everything upon which our partnership had been built. But at the moment, I didn't care. So, I opened my mouth to speak one more time. "Infuriating," I finished, just before kissing him again.