I don't know how I get myself into these strange little situations, but they always have a few things in common; firstly Zant always happens to pop up randomly, secondly Link always somehow can't possibly help me, and three I always have this horrible feeling that I'm about to die. So yet again, Link did something stupid to leave me fending for myself and I have to save his poor little Elf ass and save the world too.
What did he do this time? Well how do I put this lightly?… He pissed off fricken Gannon and got his stupid tool of a Twili to come do the dirty work. The tool happens to hold grudges too, because this time while Link is being chased around in a circle while spinning on a top of death, I happen to be fighting a little creation that Zant made just for me. A lovely, rotting, decaying corpse.
Just like last time I think I should tell you about how this idiotic meeting happened just like last time we met Zant. Oh god I'm going love beating the hell out of that stupid little tool. You know what, no he's not even a tool he's the whole damn box. That's right he's a tool box. How does that feel Zant?
Only god know how long ago……….
"No! I'm not going in there!" I made it this far, we beat the hell out of that giant green pig, so now we can actually go in, but I can't get any farther. I just can't. If I go in there I can't turn back towards safety. Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm deathly afraid of zombies and ghosts, and as I keep telling you over and over again, I'm a damn coward. So I'll probably just die from just being in there.
"Seriously, Ella come on, we need to go in there!" No we really don't. Link and Tamaki, the newest addition to our team, we trying to drag me in. Link was dragging me by my arm and Tamaki was trying to get me to move by pulling my pant leg. Psh, like that's going to help them. "We're almost done!"
"Dude, this is a castle made for the tortured souls of prisoners. Usually I would jump at the opportunity to be where a great story has been, but there's dead guys in there!" I don't even care if they pick up on the fact that I know way too much information, I'm not going in there.
"There's dead guys in the graveyard back at the village, and you love it there." So true, but those dead people aren't going to jump at me anytime soon, or screech at me to freeze me to the ground so they can suck my soul.
Apparently Midna was sick of us taking so long, but you know what I can't really blame her, but seriously I am going to kill that bitch, anyway back to what I was saying, she just decided on using her magic to pick me up and literally throw me into the Castle of Death. Accidentally, when she threw me in there she just also happened to make Tamaki and Link fly in there too.
"Ow," Great now my back kills, and I have to go through the damn place, this is seriously going to suck ass. I slowly got up, trying not to put myself through anymore pain. Link was following suit, except I guess he's little bit more use to it than me because he just got up. He didn't take for ever unlike me.
Now that I'm up we have yet another problem. One claw shot and too people with a bunny fax thing. How is this going to work? That's when I saw Tamaki jumping from stone to stone. It isn't just a fox rabbit, it apparently is also part ninja. It was just sitting on the last stone platform waiting for us to get over there. Link, being the jackass he is, wrapped one arm around my waist before sending us off to the platform using the clawshot.
"Gross." I mumbled jumping away from him as soon as possible, I was just hugged by an overly sweaty smelly Elf, but you know what, I probably don't smell too great either. Ick man sweat.
Tamaki, once again ditched us and jumped to the next plat form, waiting for us at the gateway to hell. Link, being quicker and stronger than me ran across the moving sand with very little ease, and when I saw him struggle at one part of his treck across the sand and I wondered how the hell I was going to get over there. This is not going to be fun.
"Stupid sand, pointless evil sand." I muttered trying my best to not get sand stuck in obnoxious areas of clothing, and/or not to get sucked into the constantly moving sand that was being sucked in by a random black hole in the center of the room. I didn't have to worry about the little tremor bug things, they didn't want to bother me for some odd reason. I think I was giving off weird vibes, I mean it was bound to happen I was pissed off at the world and my glare was probably going to burn up anything I look at.
I was nearly at my waist when I reached the platform in front of the Gate Way to Hell. It was awkward to move even the slightest bit, but I was almost there. That's when I had a sudden appreciation for all of Link's amazing muscles and their strength. I mean I never thought of myself as light. So him pulling me up must have been painful. It didn't really help that there was sand sticking to my sweaty skin. So my objective was not reached. God I hate this so fricken much.
With one last heave he pulled me up onto the platform and I went really far, well by that I mean I ended up landing on top of him.
"I'm tired let's go home now." I said to tired to get off of him. He started to chuckle, then he coughed a little bit. This heat was making us too exuasted, it was starting to get hard for us to move. Well at least it was starting to get too hard for me to move. Link isn't human so he's doing pretty well. Better than me anyway. Now that we got this far the only problem we had to figure out and by figure out I mean tell Link to do it, was to go to the lever.
I finally rolled off of him and slowly started to get up. I nearly fell asleep right there. But I would rather die trying than die in this place. I mean seriously? Who would want to be the person that gets turned into one of these little monster things. Link quickly got up and started to investigate how to open up the gate.
"Try the pulley lever." I said not evening bothering to get up.
"Where?" I pointed to behind the fence next to me. Link was just about there when I heard a hiss come from Tamaki, so apparently it's part cat too. Who would have thought?
This is the time when I froze. I completely froze, there's nothing I could do, I'm not even sure if I was breathing, I can't remember. All I remember is seeing million tiny little skeletons pop out of the sand holding weapons and gathering around Link. I wanted to help, I swear, but I couldn't. I was frozen to my spot as I heard the screeches come from the mini-skeletons. It was like hearing the screech of nails on a chalkboard.
For a moment everything went silent before I felt Tamaki's short fur rubbing against my arm. I was ready to cry. I don't think I've ever been that horrified in my life. Even watching Zira's death didn't scar me as much as this one tiny moment.
I seemed to come back to reality as I heard the metal clanking of the gates rang in my ears. And to think, this was just the beginning.
"Ella, are you okay?" No, I'm not okay. I'll never be okay again in my life. And to think, it only gets worse from here on. I'm going to die here. At least I had a good life.
I didn't feel as cold as I did nearly three seconds ago, and I didn't feel so numb, now I barely even nodded my head, but it was enough to tell him I was fine, or at least good enough to go on.
Later deeper in the Arbiter's Grounds
I've been hanging off of Link for the past only gad knows how many hours. He's my main protection right now. When ever I had to let go of him because he had to go into doggy form I would tie Tamaki to me and then it would protect me. Usually I would fight for myself but, I just can't deal with this. It's the rats and bugs I can deal with, everything else I just can't. I can even kill most of the tremors, thanks to my special training with my Hylian Ninja. I can't believe I'm bringing this up now but I feel bad for leaving things the way I did. But I just can't leave him thinking that we were destined to be together or what ever.
Well anyway, back to what's going on here. I'm currently waiting for Link to finish up so I can leave my happy place and we can get out of here. You see we set up a little system, Link goes ahead and I fall back just a little with Tamaki. So Link will be able to be just about done with what ever is going on by the time I get there. I highly doubt it's going to work out for too long though.
"Ella, it's clear." Link said coming back to me. I feel a little ridiculous because of this but I would rather go through this than just go freeze up and then die. If you guys are laughing at my reasoning I'll kill you I swear.
I nodded and held on to his arm as we passed through some door… Let me rephrase that, some door that led us to a huge dark creepy room with a really cool sword in the center of it that was stuck into the ground with charms hanging from it's handle almost in the form of a tent, and that stupid door wouldn't open. So we were locked in a creepy dark room together. I new something bad was going to happen, but I couldn't remember what boss it was, if I don't know that, then how the hell am I supposed to help Link when he screws up?
"Link? I don't want to be here." I whispered tears stinging my eyes. My heart was beating fast and I felt as if I just swallowed lead.
"It'll be fine, we got this far haven't we?" Just because we got this far doesn't mean that we'll get any farther. Jeeze he's a real moron sometimes.
Despite my thoughts I didn't say anything, I just stood there quietly cutting off circulation to Link's arm. I reminded myself of the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of OZ, I kept going forward, centimeter by centimeter. Courage isn't being afraid of nothing, but having the strength to face your fears my ass. I'm not going to be under the title of Courageous in Hyrule's books of Legends, and I'm facing my goddamn fears. That saying is complete bull shit. It's so untrue. For if it was true I would be considered brave, which I'm not.
Link started to walk toward the center if the room, and of course that means that I was dragged along with him. I was as scared by the time we got to the sword and nothing happened, but the heaviness in my stomach just grew.
"Why in the world would someone want to tie up a sword like this?" Link asked examining the ropes that held it down.
"Link, I really don't want to be here." I whispered, tears started to roll down my cheeks.
"Well, we can't just leave, the door won't open." I don't know what he was thinking when he cut the rope in front of him, but let me tell you this now. It makes me want to kill him, because right after he cut the rope I heard a low deep hum, and when I heard that great deep hum the sword started to move and characters were glowing red on the black blade.
It wasn't till when a giant ghost came out a roared that I fainted… Well at least I think I fainted because I can't remember anything other than falling down and getting really dizzy. Well that and Link yelling something, but I do remember waking up and Link leaning over me.
Poor guy… I look at him for .5 seconds and decide on jumping him. Must have scared him half to death. Not only that, but he is now officially soaked, yes with sweat, but also with my tears because when I saw him I was so terrified that I needed a cry.
"Link… I want to go home…"
Some time later in the colder part of the grounds…
Well, I'm happy to say we're almost out of this death pit, I really can't express how happy I am, but I can't tell you how horrified I was at the thought of having to fight a giant skeleton five times bigger than my house.
How is it that I stayed with Link for the whole second half of the Arbiters Grounds? Well the answer to that is simple, I didn't. We both agreed that it would be safer for me to just wait at the half way point. Well I guess you couldn't really call it a half way point, but it's that room were nothing comes out at you and you need the spinning top thing to rotate the room… or the walls or what ever. Don't worry, I wasn't alone in that little room either, Tamaki was with me. Curled up on my lap I think it's more cat than anything else because it was purring while I was petting it's fur.
"You know Tamaki, I really hate this place. I hate it so much I would rather go back into training with Sheik…" I think at this point the purring was just it snoring because it didn't have any reaction to what I was saying. "Who actually isn't that bad of a guy. He's just overly cheesy and has a completely insane Grandmother… Actually… she might be right about my whole destiny… But you I just didn't want to admit it because that would turn me into a Mary sue… I wonder how Srej is doing?" Hey guys don't look at me like that, it's not like I'm worried or anything, it's more along the lines of I just want to see how everything is happening. But you know what? I'm happy I'm not there right now, because if I was then I would have to deal with a pregnant Sue, and no one that's sane would want that. I guess I chose the lesser of the poisons.
There was a figure that came walking through the door way and that automatically set off Tamaki's hissing fit.
"Hey calm down it's just me." Link said looking exhausted.
"You okay?" I asked patting the ground next to me. He just nodded and came to sit next to me leaning against the wall. I yawned before resting my head on his shoulder. "You know maybe we should both take a nap before moving a head." I don't think he heard me because he was already asleep, but Tamaki heard me and was definitely with my suggestion. "G'night" I mumbled before letting my eyes shut.
So I guess that brings us to now, because the rest is pretty much history. Oh come on don't make me say it… FINE be that way stop your complaining I'll describe it for you, you big babies. Seriously… Anyway once we entered the room of complete evilness Zant came out and said something about being surprised that we got this far and threw some crappy ass joke my way, something along the lines of having a little present for me. In all honesty I wasn't really paying attention, which probably just really pissed him off. I'm honored that he cares that much, truly I am.
I was too busy looking around the room to see what he was doing, I know I'm stupid, but that's not really surprising for I've been with Link all this time and he's one of the biggest debases I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.
So after getting roared at by a giant skeleton Link set off on the spinning top thing. Of course I can't really do anything, so instead of fighting the non existent Zombie that will soon be my death, I just cheered Link on. Giving him my full moral support.
"LINK KICK IT'S *&$ING ASS!" I screamed, which was an amazingly stupid mistake (surprise there) and made Stallord (A/N I hope you guys are happy with this chapter after all the walkthroughs I had to watch/read to make it seem not so horrible) shoot purple acid at me, which just so you know smelt like the worst thing I've ever smelt in my life. It's like a million rotten corpse, what type of corpse, not a damn clue, but it smelt horrible. "Oh shit." Tamaki started hissing at it. Stupid Animal. "Hiss later run now!" I screamed picking it up and sprinting away from the acid that was slowly melting the sand stone that was the foundation of the room.
I heard a huge crack and saw that the Stallord grow a few feet shorter. YAY LINK! Link came back up stumbling and tripping through the piles of sand and dead bodies. You must be wondering why I haven't fainted or died yet, and that is a very difficult question, quite frankly I don't know, but I have a feeling it has something to do with the fact that it's just a giant pile of bones at this point. I mean the last thing was a Ghost that had a giant sword and could move around and kill me in five seconds, this thing cant' even turn around. See it's a lot less intimidating. Even though it spit acid and has me as it's main focus.
"Ella look out!" I heard Link shout from somewhere in the room, and he had very good reason. Even though the body of the Stallord couldn't turn around as a whole it's head was a completely different story. And yup you guessed it, it started to spit more acid than a druggy mixed with an Alien.
"Where the hell does this stuff even come from?!" I screeched as Link started to yet again attack the spin of the monster, just needs to go down one more before it completely crumbles. "LINK GET YOUR ASS UP HERE!" I screamed seeing it take a swipe at him and the top start to slow down. Once he got up here he went strait back down though. I'm starting to think that he wants out even more than I do.
Finally he made the thing collapse and as the sand started to drain out of the room I jumped down and rolled right into his legs.
"Hi." He looked at me with a smile on his face.
"Hi," He obviously thought we were done, stupid Elf-Boy. "You ready to get out of here."
"Psh please Elf-Boy I've been ready." That when I decided to sit right next to him and have Tamaki stand on it's own for a little while. You never know how small that platform is going to be in reality. So he used the top as a little key and kept spinning it till we were standing on a pillar just about ½ the size of the room, which is still pretty large. That's when the head decided on waking up and tried to knock both of us off of the top. I'm smart and jumped out of the way, Link how ever… Well lets just say he's not going to feel too nice tomorrow. In all honesty I'm surprised he survived. I mean we're WAY up. "YOU OKAY?" I yelled down to him, that's when I heard a sadistic chuckle and a horrible screech.
"Now we can't have you being bored all the way up here can we?"
So I think it's alright to now say that I caught all you up right? Okay now that your all happy now can I get back to me being horrified by a Zombie that's never going to stop dripping gross death dribbles on the sandstone flooring. And as I stated earlier, I would call out for Link except he's a little busy getting chased around by a giant floating head.
"Hehehehehehehehe," Yup that's right, I'm taking out my fear by laughing, maybe I can actually get through this. "hahahahahaha HAHAHAHAAHAHA" I could still here the un even steps that were being taken by the greenish purplish rotting corpse before me. I took my sword out from it's sheath, yes I've had it this whole time, and started chopping it like the madwoman I am not, I can only think how crazy I looked mercilessly chopping the decomposing body into pieces. I was so intent on making sure this thing would never even twitch again that I wouldn't stop even though it was oozing all over me a and my sword.
"Ella stop I think you killed it enough."
"DIE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" I said before laughing maniacally.
"ELLA STOP!" Once I came back to earth from my craze massacre of the body, I started breaking down. I now major mood swing, but at least I didn't need Link… Well I didn't need Link much. "I think it's safe to say it won't be coming back from the dead."
I almost laughed, the jackass.
"I just want to go home." I mumbled into his shoulder. And at that moment I really did, I wanted to go back to my little crappy house filled with my jackasses of brothers and my Mother who wanted nothing less than a perfect daughter.
"Let's get out of here." I just nodded never letting my head up from his shoulder no matter how bad he smelt. But hey, I probably don't smell like a bunch of roses either.