Chapter 24- The Monster in the Reflection

"Now, Inuyasha," Miroku said trying to console the fuming half-demon. "You have to try to calm down."

"CALM DOWN?" Inuyasha roared at the top of his lungs. "Kagome was kidnapped by some demon dressed like a monkey, we don't have any idea where she is, and you're telling me to calm down?"

"I understand, Inuyasha," Miroku began, "But flying into a panic isn't going to help us find her! If we stay calm, I'm sure that we can find Kagome before the demon does anything to her."

Inuyasha was hardly listening. He felt his demon blood beginning to boil… his desire to tear something to shreds was almost… overwhelming. His time was just about up. He wouldn't be in control for much longer.

Fighting to stay in his right mind, his face twitching slightly, he barked at Miroku, "Where is she?"

Miroku raised his hands up defensively before saying, "If we knew that, then we wouldn't be looking for her now would we? Shippo, Sango, and Ayame are all out searching for her. Rin and Kohaku are staying behind, and I'm going to go out and search as soon as we finish here. Inuyasha? What are you going to do?"

Inuyasha roared in rage and pain so loudly that Miroku had taken a step backwards. "What the hell do you think I'm going to do?" Inuyasha bellowed as he turned towards the window with the intention of jumping out to the ground. "I'm going to find Kagome no matter what."

"Inuyasha wait!" Miroku cried as he ran forward and grabbed Inuyasha by the shoulder. Inuyasha was filled with so much fury that when he turned to Miroku, he wanted to slash him into pieces. But when he saw the darkened look in Miroku's eyes… he stopped… "Miroku?" he questioned softly.

Miroku looked at him with deadly seriously and said harshly, "Monsters are real Inuyasha. And ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win. Inuyasha… if you truly love Kagome… then don't let the monster inside you win."

He then let go of a stunned Inuyasha before saying, "That is all I'm saying. If you really love Kagome… then you must fight your own fears." Miroku then turned and left the room, leaving Inuyasha momentarily stunned before he remembered that he had to go and find Kagome.

He hit the ground and raced towards the forest in record time. The only thing that was going through his head was prayers that Kagome was going to be alright. 'Please Kagome,' he begged with all his heart. 'Be alright. Wait for me Kagome! Wait for me until I get there… Don't you dare die on me!'

Letting loose a sudden burst of adrenaline, he dashed his way through the forest, trying to find a trace of Kagome… hoping that he would find her in one piece. But he also was searching for the scent of the demon who was trying to take Kagome away.

Running…

He was running… passing scenery… he just kept running as if the devil was at his heels.

He ran on, until finally, he caught hold of that familiar scent! That scent alone, was the only thing that could've stopped him from his mad dash. He followed his nose and stopped right where he thought the scent was strongest, right in the middle of a clearing… the kind of clearing that Miroku said that Shippo described. He bent down on all fours and put his nose low to the ground to take a whiff.

There was no mistake… this was Kagome's scent! Her smell was all over the place… along with another… one that stunk of blood, ash, and… dead bodies…

That stench made Inuyasha's hair curl and made him close to throwing up. There was no mistaking it; this was the scent of the demon who took Kagome. He looked up at the sky, the moon was rising… he only had about 1 day left at the most. He had to hurry.

But when he got up, something happened… a terrible pain had erupted inside Inuyasha's head.

He gasped… the pain so great that he immediately fell face-forward onto the ground. He put his hands on his head, as if to try to keep the pain from causing his head to explode.

He shut his eyes, and gritted his teeth as he tried to fight it. This pain was beyond anything he had ever felt before in his life! All those other times that he spent locked up in his room and curled up in a corner to wait for it all to pass over was NOTHING compared to this.

He felt as if someone had stuck a flaming hot, poisonous spike into his head and it was slowly killing him. He felt wounds beginning to appear in his body, as if someone with a sword was slicing into his body.

He cried out in agony as his eyes snapped open, a mad glint had appeared within his blood-red orbs. His vision darkened… and he could hear voices… no… not voices… just one voice…

… it was Kagome's voice.

"Please! Just wait!" he heard Kagome scream, "Please! You can take me instead! I'll take his place!"

What was going on?

"I don't wanna get to know him! I don't want to be anywhere near him!"

He heard this all before…

"Why are you doing this?" he heard his own voice reply. "I thought that you hated me."

"And I thought that you hated me," Kagome's voice said calmly. "By the way… thank you. For protecting me."

He understood what this was… his memories. He could see them now clearly; as if he was reliving them all over again.

Inuyasha narrowed his eyes. "I'm not a coward," he hissed venomously.

Kagome shifted her position. To Inuyasha's surprise, she rested her head on his shoulder. "I know you aren't," she said wearily. She sounded exhausted.

He wasn't a coward… he didn't want to running anymore.

"…Please don't give up on yourself yet," Kagome pleaded softly. "I want to see you free from this curse just as much as you do," she said, laying her hand on his arm. "I've learned in a short amount of time that you don't always get what you want. And if you do get it, it isn't necessarily what you need. You just have to keep going…" She hesitated for a moment and then asked, "Inuyasha? How do you break the curse? Maybe I can help?"

You did help me Kagome… just by being here by my side.

"Oh thank you thank you thank you so much Inuyasha!" Kagome squealed while squeezing him in a tight hug- but Inuyasha couldn't enjoy it more. He put his own hand around her waist to return the hug, all the while smiling at how happy he made her.

That was the Kagome that he liked… the smiling one… the one that seemed to brighten his whole world with her own happiness. The same smile that made him smile along with her.

His ears picked up what sounded like rustling. After a moment Inuyasha had manage to pin point where the noise was coming from and soon found himself outside a bathroom door. He wasn't thinking that it was a bathroom only that he had to find Kagome. That's why it came as a shock to the idiot when he opened the door and was greeted by a naked Kagome's back, who was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for it to fill.

'Oh, hell…' he thought to himself as his face began to burn.

He felt his face burn at the memory… yet… he would be lying if he said that he didn't think that she was beautiful that night.

"Thank you Inuyasha. Thanks for looking after me," said a sick Kagome.

When she saw him beginning to blush again, she smiled even wider. They were both quiet for a moment before the effect of the medicine began to kick in and Kagome closed her eyes. She had drifted off to a peaceful sleep with Inuyasha sitting beside her… watching over her.

He remembered how the light from the window had hit her face, setting it all aglow with a shining beauty. He remembered how he thought of her as a pure angel… god this did not sound like him anymore.

"I… I wanted to thank you for the necklace that you've given to me." She then reached up to touch the necklace that he had given her before continuing, "Sango told me that it was your mothers and I know that it much have meant a lot to you. I went out the other night to gather the things that I needed to make it and I guess that I was out for too long… I guess that was why I got sick… I just wanted to… just take this as a thank you for being so kind to me and, well, saving my life. C…can I?"

He felt his face burn again as he remember that night in the forest. He felt himself wrap his fingers around the beaded necklace and hold on tightly… this was both torture… and a blessing. Now he could see them in the garden talking about roses…

Inuyasha looked at the rose that Kagome was staring at before asking. "You mean… that it just wants… that a flower just wants to be… loved? Just like a person?"

Kagome looked up at him again, this time with a smile that made the world light up for him. "Yes, Inuyasha. Everything… everyone… all things on this earth… from humans, demons, animals, trees, flowers, heck… even stones… everything just wants to be loved."

"But… What if something isn't capable of love?" went on Inuyasha without thinking, "Can they be loved in return? Can they actually learn to care?"

Kagome gave him a surprised and confused look. "Why do you think that?"

Because he didn't know that he could love another. But how could he NOT end up falling in love with Kagome?

"Because," said Kagome. "There is not a single living creature in this world that is born without a heart; and it's in a heart's nature to care. And if that heart cares for another more than it cares for itself, than its love. You can't have a heart without having the ability to care."

Inuyasha turned to look at her. Her back was still facing him as she went back to work, "That's why the rose is a good symbol for love… it needs love to grow… without that… then it would just wither and die. I really don't know how else to put it."

You need love or else you would just wither and die. That was true… without Kagome in his life; he would end up just withering away until he did die. He didn't see any point of going on with his life, cursed or not, with her out of his reach.

'You are like a rose Kagome…' he thought. 'Beautiful, but dangerous as well. I can't walk past you without noticing you. You are beautiful as rose petals, but you have thorns that can protect yourself.'

"Love is just love Inuyasha; it can never be explained," Kagome went on suddenly. "My mother once said to me you can close your eyes to the things you don't want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel."

"What did she mean by that?" asked Inuyasha as he looked over her shoulder at her running her finger around the rose petals.

Kagome shrugged. "I guess she meant… no one is perfect until you fall in love with them."

Perfect? No one is perfect. To everyone else, Kagome might not have been perfect, but in his eyes she was. Which brought up another memory:

"You know… My father once said to me, that you shouldn't push yourself so hard. And that the best things happen when not expected. I mean, look at me. If you let me go that night… we wouldn't be here talking now would we?"

"Kagome…You aren't like anyone else I've ever met… how come you aren't like normal girls?"

"Inuyasha…" said Kagome quietly. "I learned at a young age… that when you're normal you blend in. And when you blend in… you become invisible. I'm not like other girls because I don't want to disappear… I mean… what's so special about being like everyone else? I think that it's good to be different, even if others don't like it."

He was glad that she was different. He thought that was the reason why he first fell in love with her… That was who she was:

"Who you are?" repeated Inuyasha. "What are you talking about? You're Kagome."

Kagome shrugged. "I used to think that I knew who I was… but ever since I've arrived here, I don't know anymore. I mean…" she leaned on the balcony railing, "I can't help but shake the feeling like I'm here for a reason… that my coming here was no coincidence."

Inuyasha gazed at her as she stared out at the setting sun. Did she really mean that? Or was she just saying it? "I'm not sure that I understand, Kagome," he said.

"I can't answer you because I don't understand the question either," she turned to look back at him for a moment before she stepped inside again. "I guess what I'm trying to say… is that I'm confused. I just don't know anymore."

That didn't make any since to him. How can you not know who you were? Then again, he has to fight with his identity on a daily basis. He could feel himself get back onto his feet and felt his body walking in some random direction. He hardly noticed or cared…

All of his attention was on his memories that were rushing back to him like a flood.

"I want to stay here and help you, Inuyasha," repeated Kagome. "I can't stand the thought of me living somewhere safe and knowing that you'll be here, all alone and suffering. I want to do whatever I can to help you."

"But…" started Inuyasha.

"Don't even try to talk me out of it," Kagome broke in fiercely. "You've been so kind to me… and I just want to help you. I want to help break this curse you're under. I want to be here… with you." She turned her back on him as she said the next part, "Even if I leave… I'll regret it forever. Even if you tell me to try and forget about you Inuyasha… I know that I'll never be able to. So please… just let me stay with you."

He cared about her more than anything else, and he didn't want to be the cause of her tears, he wanted to be the one that wiped them away. Why did he push her away?

Kagome raised her head, and walked over to him before she spoke again. "Thank you. For everything." She stood up on her tippy-toes and gave him a brief kiss on the cheek. When she pulled away, she muttered another quick 'thank you' before she turned and ran into her room.

His cheek burned at the memory of the kiss as he continued to walk forward to who knows where. No… why would someone like her love a monster like him?

"A monster?" repeated Kagome scared. "What do you mean a monster?"

"Its part of the curse that was placed on me, Kagome," answered Inuyasha sadly. "Once the jewel becomes whole… if I haven't found the way to break it by the time it's completed… I will become a blood-thirsty monster that will know only how to kill…"

Kagome had gone deathly pale. She gulped. Inuyasha didn't want to see the look of horror on her face so he went on with his eyes looking over her head, "So… if I can't break the curse in time I want you to leave."

"But Inuyasha," said Kagome desperately. "How do we break the curse? Everyone here seems to think that I can help, but I don't have a clue how to. I want to help you… but no one will tell me how!"

"You need to break it without realizing it," said Inuyasha.

Kagome was dazed. She didn't expect for Inuyasha to say something like that. "Please stop speaking in riddles. What is that supposed to mean?"

"Just like it sounds like," said Inuyasha turning his eyes back down to meet hers. "If you are the one to break the curse then you need to do so without knowing it."

Kagome shook her head, "You aren't making any sense."

"I know," said Inuyasha. He sighed, "The point is… if it's too late to save me… then I want you and everyone else to leave the castle and never come back."

"But…" began Kagome but Inuyasha cut her off. As he looked at her, he remembered the terrible dreams… how her beautiful face might become scathed and bloody because of him, how he might be the one to make sure that her strong and pure heart would cease to stop beating. "I don't want to end up killing you… any of you guys. Once the jewel becomes whole I won't be myself anymore. I won't be to stop myself. I'm sorry… but I rather that you all leave the castle and living somewhere safely than being here where I might one day kill you." He sighed again before putting his clawed hand on Kagome's cheek. He grinned slightly when he saw her blush.

"If it's too late for me," he said softly. "If the curse isn't broken by the end of next week… then you will be free from our deal and will be able to go back to your family."

Kagome stared at him in amazement, "You're making it sound like it's already too late."

Inuyasha lowered his hand and took a few steps back from her. "I'm just making preparations for the rest of you. Anything can happen in the time that we have remaining. But I just want to make sure that you and the others are safe from me in case it's too late. I want you all to leave before I…"

Was it too late? He knew that it must be… after all, he knew he only had until midnight tomorrow night to break the curse. There was no way that she could fall in love with him in that little time. Right? It was all over for him.

"Thank you Inuyasha." said Kagome quietly.

Inuyasha shook his head as he stared at her incredulity. "For what?" he asked her confused.

"For all the little things…" answered Kagome as she took another step towards him. "Listening to me when I needed someone to talk to… feeding the birds together… showing me that clearing in the forest… for treating me like a person and not just some… prize to be won." She took another step forward until they only stood inches away… their hearts were pounding so fast that they both suddenly seemed to be having trouble breathing.

Inuyasha sighed. "You're welcome," was all he said. I mean what else could he say to her?

And you see me in a way that no one else ever had. She saw him as a person, and not just as a monster… but isn't that what he was? Wasn't he a monster? If he was then why does his heart ache so? The pain in his head had finally subsided and he came back to reality. He had come back to the present.

He took several deep breaths before he realized that he was no longer in that clearing, but somehow had wandered near a small creek.

He looked down at his hands to see that they were covered in blood… his blood. He stared at them in confusion before he felt slight pains all over his body. The pain he felt in his head just a minute ago was so intense that when if faded, his whole body felt numb, and he could hardly feel anything at all. He realized that the pain came from the wounds that now covered his body. He felt terrible.

He stumbled to the running water and stuck his head in. 'What just happened?' he thought as he let the cool water run over him; he was burning up so badly that the water felt like heaven. But all the while he tried to think…

Was this a warning? That his time is nearly up? And why did all those memories come back to him? Just what is happening to him?

Unable to hold his breath any longer he pulled his head out and, for the first time in 7 years, he stared at his reflection.

The last time that he looked into a mirror, was when he first realized what Kikyo had done to him. Seeing the monster that he had become was almost too much for him to bear and he smashed the mirror into pieces.

Inuyasha was staring into the river before him and staring back at him was the hateful demon he had become… but something was different now. He remembered the look on his face from the last time he saw his image in the mirror and the demon who stared back had eyes that were the color of blood, with a lust to kill that matched those eyes. That was a demon who would gladly kill anything it could find, desperate to satiate its unending hunger for death.

But now…

The reflection didn't look like that. His eyes were still red… but they seemed to have toned down from a blood red to the color of a dull crimson and then almost to the color of faded red velvet. The insane madness that was shining from those orbs back then, had faded away to something that Inuyasha almost didn't recognize… pain.

But not the physical kind; all he could see from the eyes of the demon looking at him now, all he could feel was the pain of despair. Fear.

The demon he was looking at…was himself.

'Is that… really me?' he thought as he stared back. What caused this change? Then he mentally slapped himself, of course it was Kagome. Who else could it possibly be?

As he looked at his reflection he saw that he looked, it wasn't by much, but he looked less like monster and more like his old self. But was that enough?

*Flashback*

"You remember that day?" asked Kagome. "The morning after the night you protected me? The morning after I found out about your… condition?" Inuyasha hung his head in disgrace. His nightmare still fresh in his head.

"And I was tending to your wounds?" Kagome went on. When Inuyasha nodded, Kagome finished by saying, "That morning I realized that I was truly afraid."

Inuyasha turned his head away from her so that he could stare at the floor in shame. "You were afraid of me for almost killing you?" he asked knowing the answer.

"No," said Kagome simply. Inuyasha's head snapped up to stare at her. "But then…"

"You did frighten me when you were in your full demon state," Kagome made clear. "But it was the person behind that form that I was afraid for… I was afraid that you were going to die." Neither said anything for another minute. "I don't want you to die, Inuyasha," said Kagome. "I want you to be happy, and I want you to laugh a lot."

She lowered her head to look down at her feet, "I don't know what exactly I'll be able to do for you… but I want to help in any way that can."

He gently put his clawed hand underneath her chin to raise her face to look up at him. "This is enough," he said softly as they both became lost in each other's faces. "Just being here is enough for me…"

*End of Flashback*

If he truly was a monster… then why does he care? Why did he love her? Monsters aren't supposed to love anything, except for themselves. Does this mean that maybe he wasn't a complete monster?

He stood up straight as he looked up at the fading moon. We spend all our lives building wall within our hearts… in order to keep us safe. But the walls don't work if the enemy is inside us. When you are exposed… when you let your guard down… the enemy shows himself… and it turns out that it is a monster.

It is ironic how the thing that we fear the most is the thing that we carry deep within ourselves.

"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win," hissed Inuyasha through gritted teeth as blood dripped down from his hands.

"I may be a monster… and I may be doomed to remain that way for the rest of my life… but I know that I'll regret it if Kagome doesn't know how I feel before it's too late. Even if she doesn't love me in return, I want her to know that I love her. To be trapped with the curse, or be free of it… Monster or not, I don't care anymore… but I made a promise…"

He took a deep breath and cried out at the top of his lungs, "I VOWED TO PROTECT YOU KAGOME!"

He turned and ran from the rushing water and towards the darkness of the forest. All the while, whispering to himself, "I'll protect you with my life."

*Flashback*

"In that case, I'll protect you with my life."

"Inuyasha…" She cut her voice off when the look in his eyes shifted. They no longer looked stern or cold. Only kind, sincere and… loving.

*End of Flashback*

There was no way that he was going back on his word now.

(I know that this chapter was more of a flashback than anything else, but this is important because Inuyasha had to come to grips with the curse and if he truly is a monster. But if he wants to stand a chance against Naraku, then he first has to fight the demons in his heart and to realize that he might have changed.)

Only one day left! Hurry Inuyasha! You need to tell Kagome how you feel! Will they make it in time? Or will Inuyasha be doomed to become the monster he always thought he was?

Review Please!

Preview:

"So what will it be Inuyasha?" Naraku asked with that disgusting smile that made Inuyasha longed to rip off. "Would you still like to fight me? Or will you risk losing the one you love for good? What will it be?"

"Inuyasha! Sango hissed to Inuyasha in a panic. "You can't go through with this!" Sango said as she held an unconscious Miroku in her arms.

Inuyasha turned to look at her and said, "I don't want to Sango, but if it's to save Kagome then I will. I promised I'd always do anything for her and I'm not going back on my word."

Chapter Names:

Yes, I know I'm just an outcast.

Trouble causes problems

A Dream within a Dream

Mirrors are meant to be broken

Penny for your thoughts? A Wish for Your Soul?