Hey everyone-
I have a lot of A/N to give before we start the chapter. It's all very important, so please do read. Thanks, lovelies!
First of all, I would like to announce who my new editor is: xMissCullenx. A talented writer herself and a faithful reader from the start, she showed an amazing ability to not turn my work into her own creation, but to take what I gave and turn it into an enhanced version. A million thank you's to everyone who took the time to show off their Beta-skills. I truly appreciate it.
Secondly, it was suggested to me to change the story up a bit. The most successful stories on FanFiction are, typically, rated M and include some "lemons." It was suggested that I turn this story into a rated M and add in a bit of lemons to boost my ratings. Now before anyone starts freaking out, please, don't worry. I have no idea if I am going to do that or not. I am asking for the opinion of every single one of you here. I have a decent fan base as is (one amazing reader told me that she enjoyed my story more than the original Twilight- I love you guys so much) and I don't want to lose a single reader. If you are, however, comfortable with reading a rated M story tell me. If you read this, I am begging you to comment and let me know one way or another. You all have been amazing throughout this entire writing experience and I am making this story for all of you. So please, be brutally honest and tell me whether you are comfortable with it or not. And don't worry; it wouldn't be horribly graphic or anything. I would keep it rather mild, so please don't stress too much. Once again, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Now on to the chapter. This chapter is a lot of filler. It is important filler, but filler all the same. I am terribly sorry if you find it boring- it is important information and I promise that the next chapter will be much more exciting. I also have a special surprise for you all at the end of the chapter, so read all the way through!
Jasper POV
"Why didn't she call me back?" Alice's leg was bouncing up and down as she sat on the couch.
"She's probably just busy, Love."
"What if Rosalie told her what I said, so now Bella's mad at me, too?" Setting down the glass of orange juice that she had a death grip on, Alice stood and began to pace around the living room, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth.
"Alice, Bella isn't mad-"
"Maybe that's why Edward said she wasn't home!" She said cutting me of and stopped her pacing to look back at me, her mind determined that she was in trouble. "Edward must have known, so he lied and said that she wasn't there!"
"Alice, you know as well as I do that Edward wouldn't do that."
"How do you know? He could have! He-"
"Alice!" My tone was stern. She stopped trying to talk over me, fiddling her fingers together instead. "Alice" I continued, my voice softening, "We both know that Bella wasn't home when you called. We don't know what she was up to and it's none of our business. She might still be out, or something might be going on with her and Edward. We don't know. But I do know that this isn't your fault, so please, for both of our sakes and sanity; please stop convincing yourself that everybody hates you."
Alice meandered her way back to the couch and flopped onto it beside me. I placed an arm around her and pulled her close.
"But what if they do, Jazz?" She whispered against my chest. I sighed and pressed my lips to her hair.
"Then they're overreacting and are being ridiculous. And, Bella would have had to have a complete personality change to ever be able to hate you. She
loves you, sweetheart, and so does Rosalie. Don't convince yourself otherwise."
Alice raised her face towards mine; her eyes were brimming with worry.
"Really?" She asked, her voice soft and fragile. I smiled softly, nodded and touched her forehead with my lips.
"Yes, love, really"
"How can you be sure?" She placed her head against my chest again, snuggling back against me.
"Alice," I sighed, wondering how best to convince her. "You are beautiful; inside and out, very talented and a truly lovely person. You are unbelievably gorgeous and unrequitedly kind-hearted. No matter what happens, the only way you will ever lose those who love you is by losing yourself. Things are just changing. I know that everything seems like it's up in the air, but you need to keep sight of who you are. Don't forget your kindness, your magnificent energy and unbreakable optimism. That is what makes you who you are. And it's what draws people to you. Keep that in sight, and the problems that you're facing; the pregnancy, Rosalie, everything, will be manageable.
"I love you, Alice Cullen. Rosalie's just going through a hard time, but she loves you, too, don't doubt that for a single minute." The slight dampness on the fabric of my shirt told me she was crying. I pulled her closer still against me and soothed her with my hand on her back.
"You're too good for me, Jazz," she whispered. I chuckled.
"No, Alice. You are the blessing in this relationship. I'm just the lucky bastard that gets to keep you." She giggled and looked back up at me. Delicately, she stroked one hand down my temple, cupping my cheek. Her dark eyes burning with intensity, she placed her lips against mine.
"I don't know what I would do without you," she murmured before knotting her fingers in my hair, pulling herself closer and deepening the kiss.
***
"How is it..." I muttered, watching Alice's back rise and fall steadily with her breaths, "That even when pregnant, you are still that…amazing?"
She laughed and playfully smacked my bare chest.
"Are we even allowed to do that anymore?" At this, Alice sat bolt upright, a look of horror on her face.
I laughed. "Alice, I was kidding. We are. Don't worry."
"You had better not be lying in a pitiful attempt to get laid, again," she snarled. She narrowed her eyes but, after a moment of scrutiny, in an attempt to read my honesty, she seemed to deem me innocent. With a slight huff, she lay back against me, her back curved against my side. I rested one hand against her slight baby bump.
"When is the first ultrasound?" I asked. Truthfully, I already knew it was in three days, but I couldn't think of a better way to lead into my actual
question.
"Three days." She answered. "I thought I'd told you that."
"Oh… Right..." I muttered lamely. Alice tilted her head back, craning her neck so she could see my face.
"What is it?" She scrunched her brow quizzically.
"I just… I didn't know if you wanted me to… you know…"
"What? If I wanted you there?" I nodded, slightly nervous and hesitant of her upcoming response. "Damn it, Jazz!" She laughed and rolled over so
she rested on top of me. Her willowy arms crossed over my chest; she rested her chin against them, her dark eyes sparkling. I traced my fingers down her
spine causing her to giggle and then catch my hand in hers. She drew it to her lips and kissed it softly. I smiled then looked at her expectantly.
"Well? Err… do you?" Hearing the sincere note of worry in my voice, Alice dropped my hand, her dark eyes clouding with disquiet. They remained worried and clouded for a moment before softening. Smiling slightly, Alice gazed into my eyes.
"Jasper, of course I want you there," she murmured. "I wouldn't be where I am today had it not been for you and our baby would not exist without you. Of course I want you to meet our baby when I do. I want you beside me, holding my hand every step of the way."
"Good," I smiled and she delicately brushed her lips against mine. She rolled off of me and settled back beside me. I wrapped one arm around her and she placed a soft whisper of a kiss against my shoulder.
"Alice," I started after a few minutes of comfortable silence had ensued. "There's...something else I wanted to ask." She tilted her face towards mine again and raised her eyebrows as a signal to continue. I did.
"Alice… I know that you want to have the full wedding, with a dress and fancy everything, but I…" My voice caught and faltered for a moment. "I want us to get married before the baby is born. We don't have to have the whole ceremony yet; we can do that after the baby comes. So, I just thought that, well, we should make it legal. That way our baby is legitimate." I had taken to staring at the ceiling while saying all of this, my nerves seeming to be overriding my system. I was, therefore, shocked to see tears welling up in Alice's eyes when I did build up the confidence to meet her eyes.
"Alice, why are you-" I panicked automatically. Crap! She thinks I am pressuring her into...
"Thank you," she sobbed, cutting off my train of thought. She mopped at her eyes, both laughing and helplessly sobbing against me. "Oh God, look at me!" She chocked out. "I am a wreck. An insane, distraught, overly emotional wreck." I laughed and kissed the crown of her head. Once her tears had slowed, she graced me with a watery smile. "You would really do that for our baby, Jazz?"
"Of course I would, Allie. I would do anything for him or her. But more than that, Alice, I would do anything for you. I mean that." She closed her eyes, apparently letting my words linger in her mind. Finally when she opened them; they were deep, dark and swimming with emotion.
"I love you, Jasper. Don't ever forget that."
"The same to you, Alice."
"I'm not going to lie; these next few months are going to suck at times. And I may be awful and annoying and over-bearing. But, never forget that I love you. Promise me?"
I nodded against her. "Always." We were both silent; the moments trickled
by peacefully.
"Jasper, will it always be like this? Can it always be this perfect?"
I nodded.
"Of course, Alice. Always. I promise."
Alice POV
"Call me," I finished the message and set the phone back in its charger. Dejected, I sank onto the couch. Jasper entered the room and glanced at me.
"No luck, then?"
I shook my head solemnly. Jasper settled onto the couch beside me with a sigh. He placed one hand on my knee. I tilted my face towards his.
"She'll come around, love," he murmured.
It was all I could do to not roll my eyes.
"It's not Rosalie that has the problem here, Jasper. She didn't mess up, that was me. So don't make it sound like it is her fault." I said sternly and we lapsed into a prickly silence.
"I'm sorry," I muttered. "I didn't mean to be rude."
Jasper chuckled. "It's fine, love."
I shook my head. "No, it's not. You are way too nice to me, Jazz."
He kissed my temple. "That's my job, Allie."
I closed my eyes, savoring his touch. The peaceful moment was broken by the blaring ring of the phone. I leapt from the couch and bounded to the phone, yanking it off the hook.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Alice?" It was Bella; my excitement dropped.
"Bella. Um… Hi." I paused and glanced over my shoulder at Jasper. Understanding my look, he stood, smiled and left the room, granting me my privacy.
"I am so sorry for not calling you back yesterday. I was," She paused for a moment. "I was… preoccupied."
I laughed. "Well, as long as sexy time with Edward was-"
"What? How did you…" She trailed off. I could practically see her blushing.
After an embarrassed silence of her part, Bella cleared her throat. "So, what did you need to talk to me about? Edward said it was important."
"I…" My mind was unable to think of the proper words to explain. "It's complicated…"
"Do you want to come over?"
That was the beauty of a friendship with Bella; she'd always been able to understand what I needed without me having to say it.
"Please. Thanks, Bella."
"No worries, I'll see you soon, honey."
Bella POV
"Edward, get up," I nudged him. "Edward. Get up. Now. Come on."
He was sprawled along the couch in a position similar to how he'd been when he had fallen asleep the night before. Unable to sleep on the too-crowded couch, I had migrated to the bedroom around 3 in the morning. Edward, however, had practically passed out and had, as of yet, refused to move.
"Edward, Alice is coming over. So, unless you want your baby sister's innocent eyes to be tainted by all your glory, I would move your ass off this couch."
He groggily opened one eye, blinking in the morning brightness.
"No offense, love," he grumbled, "But please be quiet. I'm trying to sleep."
"Get up!" I shoved his arm off the back of the couch. He ignored me. I huffed, and stalked into the kitchen. Frustrated but humorous, I filled a glass with cold water and made my way back to the living room. Seating myself on the floor beside Edward's head on the couch, I smiled. I leaned forward and touched his lips with mine. He smiled but gave no other indication of movement.
"You leave me no other choice," I grumbled, pulling away from him. I carefully stood, sure to not spill the water still clutched in my hand.
Edward squinted, eyeing me carefully due to my threat.
"You wouldn't," He grumbled.
"Get up."
"Bella, be reasonable." He readjusted himself into a more comfortable position on the couch, his eyes sparkling, flaunting his resolve to remain where he was. "You know as well as I do that you wouldn't actually-"
Edward chocked off with a splutter, his entire head and face doused in water.
"What the hell, Bella?" He jumped from the couch, shaking his head, water splattering me as it flew from his bronze locks. "Are you insane?"
I shrugged, steeping back from the spray. "Well, it got you up, didn't it?"
He narrowed his eyes, glowering at me. "I am going to get you for that one."
I rolled my eyes. "How about you get some pants before you start planning your demonic revenge."
He sneered playfully at me and stalked from the room.
After doing my best to blot up the water from the couch and floor, I hurried to ready myself. No sooner had I finished brushing my teeth and raking a brush through my hair, did I hear Alice's soft knock on the door. I opened the door and hugged her petite figure tightly. Pulling back, I took Alice's hand and led her to the living room. She seated her self across from me, on the dry end of the couch, as I settled into a chair.
"Alight," I smiled at her. "Let's hear the worst."
Alice POV
I inhaled a deep, steadying breath and slowly opened my eyes. "Rosalie came by the shop."
Bella raised her eyebrows. "And…? Doesn't she normally?"
"She had been out with the flu for a while. When she did get back things got sort of… messed up."
Bella's mahogany eyes constricted slightly, something she did when she was trying to get a read on someone.
"Alice, what happened?"
Her compassionate tone had a wave of guilt wash over me with groundbreaking force. Tears began to pool, "I was sick and… I was just upset. It hadn't been a good day and I wasn't feeling well. I said things that I shouldn't have said, especially to Rosalie…"
"What exactly did you say to her?" Bella voice was hesitant, as though unsure if she wanted to know.
I paused, gulped and shut my eyes momentarily. Wiping away my tears, I began to rant once more.
"I said something really awful. I mean, there really is no excuse for me to say something like that to anyone, no matter how crappy I was feeling, especially to someone like Rosalie who has wanted a baby for so long. I mean, it's been a while since the miscarriage, but still, she can't just be expected to forget about it. And the fact that I said that to her… I can't believe that I-"
"Alice, what did you say?"
"I said that I hated it." I had dropped my eyes, but I didn't need to look to be able to see Bella's facial expression.
"I said, I hated being pregnant and that I wanted it all to go away."
A moment of silence ensued, broken only by my ragged breathing.
Bella cleared her throat. "Well," she stated awkwardly. "That is… bad. That's really bad."
"No shit, Sherlock," I muttered. Bella chuckled. "You know I didn't mean it, right?"
I hesitantly glance up at her. To my surprise, she doesn't look upset. A small smile spread across her lips.
"Of course, Alice. I know that you could never actually hate this." She pauses and glances back up at me. "But it doesn't really matter what I think, does it? It matters what Rosalie thinks."
I nod my agreement.
"Go over and see her; she probably wants this to be fixed just as much as you do."
"You didn't see it happen; you don't know how upset she was, the look she gave me…." I trailed off, wiping away another tear.
"But, I do know you and I know Rosalie. She loves you, Alice. You guys are like sisters. And since when are you one to run away from a problem?"
I looked up and she smiled warmly at me. I pushed myself off the couch and crossed to her, hugging her tightly. She laughed and squeezed me back, pulling me down on the arm of the chair.
"Thanks, Bells." She nodded and kissed my cheek.
"Love you, Alice. Now go fix this."
I gave one last fleeting smile over my shoulder before I dashed from the apartment, and headed to my car, filled with an overwhelming sense of optimistic, unrealistic hope.
And, as I drove through Seattle, I actually believed that one simple apology could erase past mistakes.
Big shout out to some amazing fans: HyperPixiexoxo, ME LOVEY JAZZY (who cracks me up everytime with her witty comments), xXxGoldenFlowerxXx and BloodredEmeralds. Readers like you are the reason I love to write.
Now for your special treat for reading through the millions of pounds of writing I just threw at all of you. I am starting up a new thing with my story. I don't promise that I will do it for each chapter, but I will try my best. Below, I have listed some of my top songs at the time that were inspiration for the chapter. It could be anything that has a melody that makes me feel a certain way, to a song I heard on the radio that caused an idea to pop into my head. I hope that you all enjoy the songs I have listed for this chapter and the one previous to it- tell me what you think about this whole music thing!
Ch. 24
Easy- Barenaked Ladies
Home- Barenaked Ladies
Green Eyes- Coldplay
Ch. 25
Breathe (2 AM) – Anna Nalick
Sound of Your Voice- Barenaked Ladies
Here Comes the Sun- The Beatles
Sweet, Sweet Smile- The Carpenters
Love Will Keep Us Alive- The Eagles
Wow. This was a ridiculously long chapter/post. I hope that you all enjoyed it- please give me feedback about the potential rating change, the music and, of course, the story! Love you all.
xoxo