Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. This was created because I felt like entertaining myself and other readers.

Please read and review.

A/N: I'm really sorry that it's been a while. But I've been really busy studying for final exams, catching up on sleep (I haven't been getting more than four and a half hours of sleep every night lately. Not to complain or anything), and I've been dealing with major writers block. But now I'm on Summer vacation, so I promise I'll try to update more often.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was now around four o'clock in the morning, and I had just gotten back at the Cullens' mansion. I went upstairs and silently entered the guest room where Elise and I were staying in so I wouldn't wake her up and scare her. I had managed to get enough blood to satisfy myself for a week, more or less. I had been thinking about what Edward had said to me earlier about my relationship was Elise. Maybe he was right. I haven't really been feeling well since he had said that stuff to me. I had realized that my relationship with Elise Rose wrong, no question about it. I, a twenty-year-old, was dating a fifteen-year-old. I was a man, and she was just a girl. Just an innocent, beautiful, amazing girl. A girl that happened to be a seductress at certain times. A girl that tempted me to either suck her dry, or do something that was really inappropriate.

What I was doing wasn't appropriate. Back in the eighteen hundreds, in my time, relationships like ours were pretty normal. But that was then, and this is now. This is wrong. I was the reason that Elise was involved in this mess. If the Volturi ever harmed a hair on her head, I would never forgive myself. I was to blame for this. This was all my fault. It always is. No matter how much I try, I always end up hurting people... Why me? Why couldn't I just have a normal life? How could I attempt to do something that inappropriate with a fifteen-year-old girl in Carlisle and Esme's house?! I had no right to do that! Sure, they were home now, and Edward was probably telling them about it, enjoying every second it. And if Edward freaking Cullen was listening to my thoughts right now, I don't really give a shit. Screw him. He could go shrivel up and die cold and alone for all I care.

Humans have it so easy. They just don't know it. It's so easy for them to kill themselves. Maybe if I had an easy way to kill myself, everyone would be happy. Humans actually get to sleep. They have the opportunity to relaxt. They don't have to deal with the pain of bloodlust. They're not monsters like I am. Or at least most of them aren't. Take Elise's father for example. He's a monster. Almost as much of a monster as I am. But I am still worse. I am far, far worse than him. Just look at me! The only thing I can consume is blood! I can't eat normal food. I used to suck humans' blood before I left Peter. And most of the time, I killed them.

Who would want to be in a relationship with me, anyways? What's there to like about me? I don't have a good personality. I'm a pedophile. And if that show, To Catch a Predator, was still on the air, I'd be grateful if Chris Hansen showed up at my house with the police or something. I deserve to go to jail. I'm a pedophile. No matter how old humans think I am, I physically twenty years old, and Elise is only fifteen years old. I'm a selfish, masochistic idiot. I only care about myself. The only thing I can do is control other people's emotions. I hate myself, and I'm sure that mostly everyone else in this world that knows me hates me. The Cullens just probably pity me, Edward obviously enjoys making me horrible life even more miserable than it is, and the only friends I have are Peter and his little coven or whatever it is. I'm lucky enough to be in this relationship with Elise. But this relationship isn't healthy for Elise. And somewhere in her mind, she knows this.

Instead of just sitting in the chair at the desk, I got up and carefully lay down next to Elise. I wanted to stroke her hair for what could possibly be the last time, but that would wake her up... I couldn't do that, though, because it might scare her.

"Jasper?" I heard Elise's voice say softly. Crap. I woke her up.

"What?" I replied. "Is there anything wrong?"

"No... Are you okay?"

How could she possibly know that I wasn't "okay?" Was she psychic? Or did she just know me too well? Well, maybe she's just checking up on me, even though I'm the vampire, and she's a human. I am not a mind reader like Edward Cullen. It's like the name is a swear to me.

"I'm fine. Go back to sleep," I said quietly. "If you're up for it, we're leaving tomorrow."

"Okay." She sounded as if she didn't believe me when I told her I was all right. "Pinky swear you're okay?"

I laughed. "Pinky swear. Now don't make me worry anymore and go to bed."

"I can't fall asleep, though."

I sighed and stroked her hair a little. Even though I wasn't all up in her face or whatever, I could still smell the scent of her hair. It smelled like... roses- just like her last name. I chuckled a little. But that was just her hair. As a vampire (And this was one of the only things I enjoyed as a vampire), I could smell Elise's scent miles away. She smelled like vanilla. For some reason, that scent has always been a great comfort to me. I don't know why. And I really wouldn't know how a scent could be comforting to a person, let alone a vampire. And yes, I know I sound like a stalker. This goes out especially to Edward. I hope he just heard what I was thinking

"Try to sleep," I murmured. "You just yearn to make me worry, don't you? Don't make me worry so much... Please. Go to bed."

Obviously, she ignored me. "What do the Volturi want from us, anyways? Do they want me to be a vampire?"

"...Yes."

"Then why don't you just turn me and get it over with?"

"You be just the way you are. You're perfect that way. Don't try to change yourself. Don't ever think you need to change yourself- especially for someone else. Forget about the Volturi. They're heartless."

"THAT'S DAMNED RIGHT, JAZZIE!" I heard Emmett yell from the other room, interrupting us. "THE VOLTURI SUCK! LITERALLY!"

"EVERYONE KNOWS THAT, EMMETT!" I yelled back. Then he finally shut up.

Elise giggled a little bit. "But really... I don't want people to get hurt- or worse, die- because of me."

"That doesn't matter. Now, go to sleep, love! We have a long way to drive tomorrow!"

She sighed. "Fine, Jasper. Good night. Take it easy."

I kissed her forehead before she got back under the blankets. She eventually fell asleep. Take it easy? How could I possibly take it easy while dating someone who is physically five years younger than myself and chronilogically well over a hundred years younger? That's just wrong! I knew that life hardly gives you any breaks, but still! This is way too freaking much! It's cruel and unusual punishment! What could I have done to deserve this?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I started to pack our belongings. I finished packing considerably fast, and carried our two suitcases to my car. By the time it was twelve o'clock in the afternoon, Elise and I were on our way back to Helena. Last night was still bothering me... I wonder what I should do about it?

"Are we going to stop somewhere for the night?" Elise asked quietly.

"We might. Don't be nervous. I won't do anything you won't want me to. It will be just like last time."

She smiled playfully. "You mean I'm going to have a nightmare again and you'll be the knight in shining armor that protects me and tucks me in? That was comforting, but honestly, it was embarrassing."

"How was it embarrassing?"

She blushed. "Y-you saw me waking up from a n-nightm-mare... screaming. You shouldn't have to see that."

"Why should that embarrass you? You were scared, and I wanted to comfort you. Like I said, don't be nervous."

"...I'm not nervous..."

I smiled and placed my right hand on her knee. "I said this to you maybe once before when I was getting to know you: You're a bad liar. I can tell you're nervous. It's my ability as a vampire."

"And sometimes I wish that you didn't have that ability."

I laughed. Sometimes I didn't want that ability, either. But I what could I do about it, anyways? I couldn't help it. Some people might think having an ability such as mine would be "cool," but if they were in my shoes, they probably wouldn't.

"Shall we go to Ninety-Nine again tonight?" I joked.

"No freaking way! You know what that place did to me! You are so lucky that you don't have to eat anything!"