It had been approximately 3 weeks since the near-fatal incident that almost occurred.
The once cheerful little town of Ashland was now a poignant picture of frozen-melancholia.
The quaint houses now lay still beneath icy seas and cold blankets of white.
There was an unfortunate blizzard that week that seemed to have almost crawled itself out into infinutum.
But that did not dampen Esme's optimism. Despite all that has happened; she wanted to spend the holidays in high spirits.
It was the middle of December, near Christmas.
Esme had spent half the early morning adding her own little Christmas decors around the house, placing a few hollies' here and there and a charming little wreath that hung out invitingly by the front door. She realized the wreath was just a tad bit bare by itself and decided to put a medium sized red ribbon at the top, just to add a bit of life.
Edward was kind enough to have helped her with the tree and decorating it. Though he was rather endearingly lost with which colours to use that would not clash with the silver theme Esme had chosen to go with.
They worked their way till the late afternoon.
It was definitely what she needed. Something to take her mind off the heavy reminder of what had almost happened.
But despite the cheerful atmosphere, despite the guileless smiles and gentle laughter, Edward could still sense deep inside how the incident has affected her deeply.
They were in the living room.
Edward had started the fireplace, allowing a cheerful fire to burn in the dry hearth while Esme finished hanging delicate silver bells around the tree.
She seemed happy today, distant but happy.
He watched her with thoughtful eyes from a distance, watching her move swiftly around the room, arranging one object accordingly after the other in one sweeping motion.
Lately he had noticed that there was this strange look that she carried in her eyes, and he was not sure what it meant.
Good or bad it seemed ambiguous.
Shortly after the day's hustle and bustle, and after all the 'That goes over there' routine, Esme excused herself unexpectedly to her room.
Edward felt a pang of concern. He watched her exit the room and on an impulse followed her.
Halfway near the foyer he stopped. He thought it best that maybe she just needed time alone to gather her thoughts but before he could stop himself he called out to her,
"Esme?" He said, his deep voice echoing up the stairs.
She stopped her gait mid-way and turned.
"Yes Edward?" She replied with a delicate smile. A stray lock of hair covering the corner of her eyes.
"Will you be alright by yourself?" he asked, his eyes worried.
She gave him that knowing smile of hers and said, "Of course, I'm fine. Really Edward." She said reassuringly.
Edward nodded, his eyes looking rather sheepish after a moment, "I'll just be in the living room if there's anything you need."
"Thank you Edward." She said softly.
She watched him re-enter the living room and slowly turned her heel and continued up the stairs.
She turned a sharp corner, her soft footsteps echoing through the long hallway till she found her way to the bedroom.
She entered inside and closed the door behind her.
She needed a moment alone. A moment to think.
The air suddenly felt too cold and too enclosed.
She collapsed onto the lavender coloured eiderdown and faced the window. The grey sky illuminating itself into the room, bringing a cool breeze as its breath travelled inside, trickling against her porcelain skin.
Christmas was drawing nearer.
And she could not help the restless emotions that were roaming inside of her. The memories that still haunted her with such tenacity that it was almost impossible to hear her own thoughts any longer.
She had been a vampire for over a little while now, yet even though she accepted her dark fate her mind is still recalling the things to which she used to be when her heart was still beating.
And it was a maddening sort of torture. Silent yet inescapable.
They are her memories, and they will always be a part of her, no matter how the years go by.
They will always be there in her mind, fresh and clear as dew, sifting through her consciousness like old photos. And all the sounds, sights and smells will be there, intact.
She did not want to remember; in fact all she wanted to do was to forget. To simply not yearn for anything or to not miss anything.
But she did, very much so in fact.
She missed the sun, the carefree days, and the food she used to cook and eat. The way things tasted when she was younger.
The way life tasted before it erupted and changed the course of her destiny for all time.
She thought of Charles.
Despite her long traumatic history with him, it never stopped her from seeking happiness. The horrible memories she had of her years with him was not going to be her prison. She would never allow herself to be trapped in them any longer.
She wanted freedom. True freedom.
And part of it was to let go of the past and it's misery.
Her thoughts turned to Carlisle.
The one man she knew that stirred emotions in her the way a storm stirs the seas with its raging winds.
Yet he was the only one who could bring her peace. Appease the feral being that lay deep within her, comforting her like a gentle meadow and sweet winds of spring.
She knew that all she wanted and would ever want resided in this man, in him.
This wonderful creature she was learning to fall in love with over and again in an endless cycle of deep, tender, rapture that had no end.
And she prayed that it would never end.
A magnificent accident of the soul to feel this way.
If only she knew the secret of his heart.
It was getting late.
Carlisle had been working on his rounds for more than 8 hours straight.
He was walking in the darkened hallways, the soft taps of his heel gliding across the smooth floors as he walked. He had one more visit to make before leaving for the night.
For some, they consider the Hospital a grim place to be especially if you are not in the best physical or mental condition for that matter. Perhaps in more ways than one, not exactly the ideal place to be in to begin with.
The people who come in, come in all different shapes and sizes. All different races, creeds and religions but all share the same pain, the same fear, and the same hopes.
No.
The Hospital is not a grim place to be, it is merely a port of entry or exit.
When a person dies another is born to take it's place on earth.
The beautiful yet tragic cycle of life.
Carlisle was walking up a long stairwell. During long nights like this, the upper parts of the darkened hospital lay empty and bare, except for a few nurses who surveyed the area that were checking up on their patients.
He made a small left and headed to the familiar corridor that lead to his destination.
Room 20 B.
He took a small pause and grasped the silver doorknob.
There was an old man lying in a small but clean bed, a worn and weary smile on his face as he saw the young Doctor enter.
His platinum hair was slightly dishevelled as he closed the book that was in his hands.
The two men greeted each other jovially as Carlisle made his way to the old man's bedside.
His name was Jonathan Collins.
He was a little under the average height, but made up for it with his cheerfully casual sense of humour. He was 75 years old, widowed but no children.
He had green eyes that sparkled with wit and merriment and had a nose that drooped slightly at the bottom and a crooked smiled that was accompanied by a hearty-laugh.
His face however still retained traces of a boyish charm. But the wrinkles and lines of the years were clearly written on his face, making him look like he belonged in a 17th century portrait that should be hung in history museums.
His prognosis was sadly terminal. He had Leukaemia.
The first night Jonathan was admitted, Carlisle was the Doctor on duty. It did not take long before the two became good friends.
"How are you feeling tonight John?" Carlisle asked gently as he took the man's pulse with skilled fingers.
"Not too bad. The pain just keeps coming and going I suppose." Jonathan replied his voice hoarse, scratching the crown of his head lightly with his free hand.
Carlisle glanced at him and gave him a kind smile, "You're doing just fine, hang in there."
Jonathan smiled back, his pale green eyes shining with gratitude. "Thanks a lot Doc, you know for coming in and keeping me company." He said as he cleared his throat.
Carlisle waved a hand, "It's my pleasure."
He watched as the young Doctor sat back down. His old and wrinkled face was lightly contorted as if in deep thought.
"Hey, Doc, can I ask you something?" Jonathan asked.
"Of course," Carlisle replied.
"Are you married?"
The question caught him off-guard.
Carlisle smiled, as he shook his head. Not even once losing his composure, "No,"
"By golly, you know If I had your face and height, I'd probably be married several times by now." He mused as he let out a hefty laugh.
Carlisle chuckled, "But you were married before weren't you?"
Jonathan smiled, "Yeah I was." His smiled faded a bit, "She was a good woman, had a heart filled with love. She died of a heart-attack back in 1920." He said quietly.
"I'm sorry." Carlisle said softly.
"Don't be, the good Lord has something planned for all of us. I'm just waiting for the time when I'll see her again." He said as his eyes narrowed onto his wrinkled fingers.
Jonathan gave out a small chuckle, "You know it's funny, when you're young you want to be old and when you're finally old you want to be young again." He shook his head, "We sure have a hard time making up our minds don't we Doc?"
Carlisle nodded as he laughed.
"So since you aren't married, you must have a lady-friend then?" Jonathan asked once more.
He noticed immediately the demure twinkle in Carlisle's eyes.
Carlisle noticed the look in his face and conceded, "I do," he said, almost sounding rather sheepish.
"That's my boy!" Jonathan exclaimed, "So does she know how you feel?"
Carlisle's eyes became suddenly pensive, "No, she doesn't."
"Well what do you mean she doesn't, you should tell her." Jonathan replied.
"I don't think it's all that simple John." Carlisle replied quietly.
Jonathan shook his head and threw his hands in the air, "You know," He said as he turned to look at Carlisle, "A large part of our lives are spent in hiding. We are living on this planet and we do exist, but we spent a valuable time of our lives hiding or running away from things that scare us, half of them are people we love." He paused as his craggy brows furrowed, "It's good to be scared sometimes. But you know hiding is what eventually makes us lose the ones we treasure the most. They'll never know how you feel about them unless you tell em' am I right?"
Carlisle looked at him and nodded infinitesimally.
"You know, the first time I met my wife. I was studying my degree for History in college, I was walking down the campus steps, I had just come out from the library. It was the hottest summer I could remember. I guess I was pretty much in a hurry, I didn't even see her face when she walked past me, just traces of her golden-brown hair flowing behind as she walked. She was with a friend or something like that and when I finally did take a second look I saw her smile, I didn't know whether she was smiling at me or smiling at someone she knew. It was probably one of the happiest days in my life. Just seeing that smile for the first time, I knew then I wanted her to be my wife. Back then I couldn't talk to her because I was too darn shy."
"You know Doc, life is really easy especially if you see them through the eyes of a child. But geez' once you become an adult everything is different, we complicate things that aren't complicated at all. Tied up in knots and we even wonder how the heck we ended up in knots in the first place?"
He gave a quiet chuckle and turned to Carlisle, "My point is, don't complicate a situation that's really easy, if you feel that the moment has arrived, seize it with both hands and don't let go, you know what I mean?"
Carlisle smiled and nodded, "I know what you mean. So how did you end up marrying her?" He asked patiently.
"Well. Long story short, she studied in the same school as I, just different subjects. And I noticed she kept on going to that same library I did, so I took my chance one day and gathered the courage talk to her. I found out that she loved history but her parents made her study Political Science. We sat on a wooden bench underneath an old tree and just talking. We ended up talking for several hours, and it was probably one of the best days of my life. That was where we found our meeting place by the way, she'd go there during the afternoon and would wait for me and it sort of started from there. I would write her letters and hide them behind the tree and she'd leave replies and slip it in between the cracks of the tree branches. It was also that same tree where I told her how I felt."
"It was raining that afternoon. I told her the day before in a note that I needed to tell her something important, I didn't even expect her to come cause' of the storm. But when I came, she was there waiting for me. She was still beautiful even though she was soaking wet. We both knew the question, now all there was left was the answer. So I told her I loved her. Flat out straight. At that time I didn't care whether she felt the same way, I didn't even ask her if she wanted to be my girl, I just needed her to know. I was ready to accept what her answer would be."
A small smirk found it's way onto his wrinkled lips, "Fate has a funny way with love because fortunately she felt the same way. . ."
Carlisle smiled and patted the man gently on his shoulder. Jonathan looked at him and said, "I'm not big on the whole romantic thing, in fact I'm just a big old grump. But I guess I just got lucky. But in any case, you really should tell her."
Carlisle looked at Jonathan, his handsomely impassive features unwavered. His voice rather uncertain, "I'll try."
He was walking home later that evening. The old man's words still in his ears.
You should really tell her.
And for the first time in his long life, he was at a loss as to what he should do.
He was walking towards the house, the soft snow crunching and munching under his long strides.
Carlisle was thinking about her, about Esme.
She was the epitome of innocence in it's purest form.
A white rose in all it's tender beauty, untainted by malice and the world's cruelties.
Like the golden sands of the Sahara desert, he felt warmth whenever he was near to her. Indeed she made him feel the warmth of a thousand suns with her lips like cherry wine, the kind of warmth he thought was forever frozen inside of him for all eternity.
But perhaps the one thing he that touched his heart the most, was when she fixed his tie.
It was a simple gesture.
A random act of kindness. But in that kindness, he saw her heart truly and clearly.
Oh yes it was filled with anger at the past, confusion and doubt at the present and fear of the future but there nested at the very core of this woman, Esme.
Was love.
Carlisle knew now what he wanted. For the first time in a long while, the road ahead was clear.
He entered the house a few minutes later. Shedding his outer coat along the way. The house was pleasantly toasty due to the several fireplaces that were lit, the vague scent of pinecones in the air.
His first instinct was to find Esme until he passed the living room, Edward's voice stopping him in his tracks. His voice was barely audible to human ears, but his words were clear.
"So you do love her." He said, a lovely wide-spread grin touching his lips.
Carlisle stared back with a long gaze, his head nodded lightly.
Edward spoke once more, "She's in the library."
He found himself walking rather methodically towards the familiar corridors that would lead him to the library door. His throat felt tense.
He raised a hand to the door handle and turned it.
Outwardly he looked calm.
On the inside he felt like he was going to completely lose his marbles.
But like the infuriatingly calm English gentleman that he is, it wouldn't even show.
This was going to be a long night.
A/N: Hey guys! Here's Chapter 25! I hope you enjoyed it!
Thank you soooooo much for all your wonderful reviews! I am just up and beyond happy reading each and every one of them so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart! I LOVE you all! And thank you for being my AWESOME readers ;)
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God Bless and stay tuned for chapter 26 weow! :)