All My Colors

Chapter XXV - Here We Are

Yeah, that was a dumb question.

I shouldn't get too ahead of myself, either. It's hard to believe what others say when you can't believe yourself half the time. Even when it's Blaze. Maybe it's the sequence of events that makes it all seem unreal. Or maybe I'm just not used to fortunate things happening to me. I expected to be the catalyst, and I fully anticipated to be turned down. I guess you never know until you try, sometimes.

My feelings are so mixed at the moment that I can't figure out what should be said next. If I could work up the courage to speak again, that is. I ponder that for a bit as we continue on, eventually making our way to the beach access. The drizzling has stopped now, and nothing but the refreshing ocean breeze remains in the air. The softer sand around the dunes sweeps around my flip-flops with every step I take, lightly brushing against my feet. It still lingers with the rain's briskness, and is a sharp contrast to the now-shining sun. Slowly, we make our way to the shoreline, neither of us willing to break the silence again. Perhaps language would ruin the scenery. Perhaps language ruins all scenery.

I steal a few glances at Blaze, as she does at me (I only know because we accidentally crossed gazes once), theoretically moving in the direction we came from. Not that we have a certain destination, or even a reason to be aware of our location. It doesn't really matter now, does it? Nothing matters, I guess, if this ship has truly set sail.

By and by, Blaze breaks off for a moment, and walks over to an abandoned soccer ball. With a step over it and a sudden movement, she flicks it with the back of her heel over her head, stopping it on the ground in front of her with a satisfied grin.

"I forgot you played in high school, didn't you?" I suddenly ask, desperate to create some talking point.

"Varsity." she nods, juggling the ball with the tops of her feet a few times. "State champions, tenth grade year. Come to think of it, didn't you come to every game?"

I hadn't forgotten, believe me. "I think so."

"Even when I did nothing but sit on the bench."

"Well, ya' know. You're pretty easy to get behind."

She raises her brow at me, and her feet stop. "What?" she laughs.

"I mean, no!" I scratch my head, "That's not what I... I don't even..." We look at one another, and suddenly explode in more laughter. "Oh, screw it. How did you do that, anyways?"

"Do what?"

"You know," I attempt to act out the move without a ball, "The overhead flick thing."

"Oh, you mean a rainbow? It's actually not that hard." She sets the ball between her feet, "You just have to kind of roll the ball up with one foot, onto the back of your other ankle, and hit it upwards." She does it once, and then again, each time a little slower. "Here, you try."

I receive the ball, and copy her setup with an undeserved feeling of confidence. Unfortunately, while attempting the trick for myself, I somehow end up turned around with all my weight on my left foot, which sits on top of the ball. Needless to say, both of my legs are thrown above my head, and I'm left with a face full of sand. Much to Blaze's delight, of course. She falls to the ground cackling, frantically trying to catch her breath at the same time. While at first I'm embarrassed about the ridiculous blunder, her hysteria soon spreads to me, and we laugh ourselves to tears.

"Oh, God..." I huff, finally getting back to my feet and brushing myself off. "I... I don't think I got that one right..."

Blaze tries to stop again, clutching her chest. I've never heard her laugh this hard before. "I've never seen anything like it." She picks the ball back up, and sits it around where it had been left. "We should probably just leave this behind."

So, we move on, joking around like old times, or as close to old times as we can get at this point. We walk around town a little more, get some ice cream, forget about time. Out to the beach again, getting our feet wet, accidentally splashing one another, then playfully splashing one other. We end up soaking wet, sitting together on a log, watching as the orange sun descends in the distance.

A not-so-wise man once told me to never put all my eggs in one basket. That man was my father. Yeah, I know. I've avoided mentioning either of my parents extensively, and I have my reasons for it. My mother is still alive - she retired and moved to Florida. I check in with her weekly, and lie when I'm not doing so well so that she can sleep easy at night. Had I included these conversations, you too, reader, would've developed a false sense of what I've been feeling lately. I love my mother. She's a strong woman.

My father and I never really saw eye to eye. That's being generous, actually. By the time he passed, it seemed that we had gotten to the point where we were arguing for fun. He never really comprehended my generation, and I have a hard time believing that he understood the one he grew up in. He had a lot of issues, none detrimental, but one that really stood out to me: low self-esteem. I loved him, yes, but only because he was my father. It was amazing how quickly my mood could change when he was around. Just think of him as the mental polar opposite of Miss Kay. I'm not going to say if he was a good or bad man, because that's not my place to judge, but I often wonder how Pops could've raised someone like him.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I'm glad I didn't listen. I certainly wouldn't be where I'm at.

I lean forward, and pick up a stick so that I can draw in the sand. I occupy myself in this way as I speak, "Ya' know, Blaze, I think I realized something as well. Not recently - it's something I've known for a while, but never wanted to admit. I figured out the real reason why I paint. Or why I've continued it this long. I thought that if I could become famous through it, and make enough money, that we could travel the world together. That was always the dream. That's all I ever wanted to do: give you everything you've ever wanted, because you deserve it." I glance over to make sure she's listening. She is. "I couldn't paint for all that time because, in the back of my mind, I knew that it was only hurting you. And I just couldn't live like that. I had to see you happy again."

Blaze doesn't say anything, but I see her try to hide a smile. The sky has turned a dark purple now, and everything else a muted version of itself. I see her motion to the right, where Sonic is coming up the beach toward us, guitar case on his back.

"Mind if I join?" he greets us, taking a spot on the other side of Blaze. We enjoy the remainder of the sunlight in silence, until the ocean and sky are mirrors of one another's darkness. It is then that Sonic rises, and gathers some wood scattered along the sand dunes behind us. He piles the pieces a few feet in front of us, and takes a match to it. The warmth of the fire immediately embraces us, as embers bury themselves in the sand and sparks flicker up and out before our eyes into oblivion.

Sonic unzips his case, and wields his guitar, looking to both of us for approval. We nod, and he begins to play a sequence of notes that can only be described as infectious.

"This from your album?" I ask, in good sport.

Sonic smirks, "Nah, actually. Just came to me the other day."

The rhythm continues, to the enjoyment of all three of us. Eventually, Sonic begins to sing:

"I remember the ocean, memories die out so hard,

And we were traveling the mountains, just to find the loudest seas..."

I stand, and move my hips a little to the music, making Sonic chuckle between his lyrics. I turn to Blaze, and invite her to join me. She looks around for a moment, skeptical of any eyes that could be watching, and perhaps some were, but she decides to take my hand anyway. We dance around the fire, making swaying movements, stepping back and forth, upbeat and happy. She's so beautiful. That might not stop her from hating how she looks, and many might still disagree with me, but my God, she's so beautiful.

"So, if you want something to hold on to, gotta' find it first,

But here I am..."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Oh mah gawd, feels like I had that scene planned out for ages. AGES. Jeez, this thing really is getting down to it. I'm predicting two (?) more chapters. Probably. I mean, I have ideas that could drag it out for a lot more if I wanted to, but I think this thing's just about run its course.:p

Yes it needed music. Everything needs music.

Thanks for reading! Love you all!