Disclaimer: I do not own or claim any rights to Big Time Rush or the characters portrayed in this story, nor do I own or claim any rights to The Bachelor. It's all in good fun and because I can't contain the visions in my head that scream to get out.
For those who ask, no—you won't get to read about Ryan's hometown date, though you will learn more about Ryan in the final chapter.
Also, the story of how Kendall's mother and Glenn got together...I might have borrowed a teensy bit from jdmazz on that. You really should go read "Golden Slumbers" if you're a Kames fan. She writes them beautifully. :)
One last reminder, if I haven't mentioned it yet. These dates do not include roses at the end, no one will be eliminated until they all get back together at the end of the week. So there's no fear of anyone being sent home (well, they're already home, but you know what I mean), so relax and enjoy these chapters without worrying things might go badly. Once they're back in L.A. you can worry again. :P
Something I need to say. I have to remind you that only one man can win James' heart in the end, which means that not everyone will be pleased. You all ship different pairings and have your favorite, and having watched the show enough myself I understand your frustrations when your chosen contestant is eliminated or another contestant seems to receive more attention from the Bachelor. But we're getting down to the wire here and decisions have to be made, decisions that are extremely hard for James. He doesn't want to send anyone home at this point, but he has to follow his heart, guys. And I wish I could please everyone, but I can't. If you get upset at any point in this story and decide not to read anymore, I understand and thank you for giving me as much of your time as you have. I also remind you AGAIN that nothing is set in stone until the final proposal, and anything can happen between now and then.
Thanks for the wonderful reviews, guys. Still makes me smile and laugh and flail when I read them. I love you guys so much for reading this and sticking with it.
So for those who don't know, this is how "The Bachelor" works. Approximately 30 contestants are chosen to compete on the show. They live in one big house together for about six weeks, and each week at least one contestant is eliminated at the rose ceremony. If the Bachelor gives you a rose, it means you stay another week. There are other roses given for other reasons (for example, the First Impression rose is given to the contestant who makes the best first impression on the Bachelor), and once you receive one of those roses you're guaranteed to remain until the next week. At the end of each date the Bachelor also has the choice of giving his contestant a rose or deciding not to, and that decides whether you go home or not. There are group dates and one-on-one dates and the drama gets out of hand sometimes because the competition can be vicious, but ultimately it gets down to two contestants and at that point the Bachelor decides to propose to one of them, or he can choose to propose to neither of them. I've taken some liberties with the rules and the process here, partly because I'm not sure of all the rules and partly because it works better for the story, but hopefully it makes sense and stays somewhat true to the show's atmosphere.
I dedicate this to kathrynew30 because even though she laughs at me for watching the show, she is always encouraging when it comes to my writing and she's been wanting this story for a long time. I also thank Aranelle for being an amazing beta and continually supportive of me in every area of my life.
Kendall was in the kitchen with his mother when Katie's voice rang out.
"Hey, bro, your boyfriend's already cheating on you! Told you he was no good!"
"What?" Heart hammering, Kendall set down the pan of cookies he'd just taken from the oven. As Kendall spent most of his time in Minnesota with his family anyway, it had been decided that James would meet them at their house rather than at Kendall's.
"Come look!"
Kendall pulled off the oven mitt and rushed to the living room, his mother calling out, "Kendall! You're not supposed to watch any T.V.!"
"It's not T.V., Mom, it's my phone!" Katie yelled.
"Like that's any better," Jennifer said in exasperation.
Kendall stared at the tiny screen, which showed James walking down a sidewalk with a gorgeous blonde before they ducked into a coffee shop.
"Who's that?" Kendall asked.
"Some hot blonde, that's who. Hang on, let me turn up the volume."
Katie did so, restarting the video that was featured on a celebrity website.
"Supermodel James Diamond was seen out and about today for the first time after over a month of obscurity. Rumor has it he's been filming a television show, though no one's talking. Monday morning he visited an L.A. coffee shop with his stylist and best friend Lana Houseman, but refused to answer any questions when approached. He seemed to be in good spirits, though, joking with our cameraman as they left the cafe."
"So that's Lana. Wow, she's pretty. It's so weird to see him on T.V. again after spending all that time with him," Kendall remarked. "And he's so much more beautiful in person."
"I'll be the judge of that. So Lana's his friend?"
"Yes, he lives with her. For now."
"And if he picks you? Then what?"
"He said he'll move wherever the winner lives. He can do that."
"Must be nice."
Kendall perched on the arm of the couch. "So you are going to be nice to him, right? I really want this to happen."
"Do you love him?"
"Of course."
"Then I'll try not to scare him too bad." At the ringing of a doorbell, Katie jumped up to answer it. "Oh, it's just you guys. Come on in."
She stepped back to allow the camera crew into the house, Kendall greeting the familiar faces before returning to the kitchen and his mother.
"He wasn't actually cheating on you, was he?"
"No, he was caught getting coffee with his roommate. Who is a girl. I guess he went home for a few days, too. Probably did him some good, like being here does for me."
Jennifer smiled. "I'm glad you're home too, sweetie. Wish you could stay longer."
"I may end up home for good if Katie ruins this."
"Don't worry about her, I reminded her that one day you'll meet her boyfriend and have a chance for vengeance."
Kendall laughed. "Good point. So you like him?"
"Yes, he doesn't let Katie push him around. He stands up to her, which is probably why she likes him so much. But he loves her and treats her well. Grab me the pasta salad?"
Reaching into the fridge, Kendall passed her a large bowl while grabbing a bottle of water for himself.
"Thanks. So you two aren't going anywhere?" she asked.
"No, I thought about it but where is there to go? I'm always here anyway."
"But if he moves here, you'll spend more time at home, I'm sure. You'll want alone time."
"I know, but if he doesn't accept you guys, it won't work anyway. He's not very close to his parents and I'm kind of hoping he'll like that he'd have a set of real parents for a change."
"We'll do our best. What if we don't like him? Will that affect your decision at all?"
"Of course. As long as your reasons are good ones, and not Katie deciding 'nobody could be that amazing.' Because trust me-he is."
"He's so handsome, Kendall. I couldn't believe it when you told me it's him. And see? I told you he'd fall for you."
"Yeah, he likes me a lot but there's this other guy...I think he's leaning toward him."
Katie entered the kitchen in time to hear that. "Want me to go bomb the guy's house?"
"No, he's a great guy. And he deserves a little happiness, his wife died a few years ago. He's raising a little girl by himself."
"Aww." Sitting down at the table with Kendall and Katie, Jennifer asked, "Is James ready for that? He's never struck me as the type to settle down with a family."
"Logan says he seems to be onboard with it. And he definitely likes Logan. A lot. But again, Logan's a great guy. He and this other guy Carlos were my roommates for most of it, and no matter what happens with James, we're all still going to be friends. So you guys will meet Carlos and Logan someday, and probably Logan's daughter, too."
"Won't that be difficult, honey? To see James with someone else if you don't win?"
"Yeah, but we talked it all out. No hard feelings. It's important to us to keep the friendship, because I've never had friends like them and I don't want to lose it now that I have it. They feel the same way."
"So who's left?" Katie asked. "What's your competition like?"
"Well, there are three other guys. Ryan, Logan, and Carlos. Logan seems to be in the lead right now, but that could change. I mean, I was the favorite in the beginning, because James is a fan. Apparently a huge fan."
"Kendall," Jennifer argued, "I'm sure it wasn't just because of that. If you're still there, it's because he likes you for you."
"I know, but it sucks knowing I had that edge and lost it."
"How'd you screw up?" Katie wanted to know.
"I just let myself get distracted, took my eyes off the prize. But I'm good now, James and I cleared that up and I still have a chance."
"Do you feel like the other guys are a threat, too, or just Logan?" Jennifer asked.
"At this point I guess everyone is. Ryan's a super cool guy, totally hot, and he and James grew up in the same neighborhood. They have a lot in common. Or at least common childhoods to bond over."
"And Carlos?"
Kendall smiled before addressing his mother's question. "Carlos is amazing. He's fun and sweet and sexy and like a big kid sometimes, but then when you least expect it he says things that shock you. Shows a deeper side of him. I'm not sure James realizes what he'd be passing up if he sent Carlos home."
The phone rang and Jennifer jumped up to grab it, maneuvering around a cameraman that was set up in the dining room. When she was gone, Katie pressed, "So you really love this guy, huh?"
"Who, James?"
"No, Carlos. Of course I mean James."
"Oh. Yeah. We have a lot in common, we like the same things, and we have great chemistry. I can see myself living with him. And he's not stuck-up like we thought. He's actually a generous person, you should see the stuff he does for Carlos. Made all his dreams come true in one day."
"Tell me more about Carlos."
Kendall's face became a bit guarded. "Like what?"
"What does he do? Where does he live?"
"He lives in New York. Remember those hot dogs I always rave about? The ones I stuff myself with whenever I go there?"
"The ones you keep swearing you'll take me to try one day?"
"Yes," Kendall chuckled. "Carlos actually owns the company. He started it all when he was a teenager."
"No way."
"Yep. And he's got a bunch of dogs and named them all after characters from 'Happy Days.' And when James won him stuffed animals, he named them after another T.V. show. He's always talking about this little dog named Chachi that I can't wait to meet. And he almost kicked my ass at Call of Duty."
"Dude, nobody can beat you at that!"
"I know!" Kendall grinned. "But he came close a few times. He's so full of himself, too, like he's God's gift to the world, but deep down he's really insecure. Which is ridiculous, anyone would be lucky to have him."
Katie sat back, arms over her chest. "What do you like about James?"
"Well, he's romantic. He's a total gentleman with me, except when we get uh...carried away. And he's great with Carlos. Um...he's sexy. He's a lot smarter than you'd think, though it's not book-smart. It's more...hmm. Worldly? He'd make a good husband."
Nodding slowly, Katie stood up to look out the kitchen window. "He's here."
"Okay. Promise you'll behave?"
"No. But you should know that you light up like the sun when you talk about Carlos. You don't when you talk about James. Just something to think about." Katie clapped him on the back as Jennifer called them to the living room.
"He's here! And it was Glenn on the phone, he can't get out of work, honey. He tried. I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Kendall replied, mind still on Katie's comment and hating her a little for it. Shoving Carlos out of his mind, he opened the front door to greet James.
James approached with a huge smile, clad in faded blue jeans and a long-sleeved green t-shirt that made his eyes stand out. Kendall had come to love his hair (though he swore he wasn't superficial) and the way he carried himself, loving even more the way one long arm pulled him into a hug.
"Hey, gorgeous."
"Hello, beautiful," Kendall replied, and when James kissed his lips lightly and pulled back, the affection in James' eyes warmed his heart. "You look great. I love you in green."
"Yeah? I've always loved you in black and white. That's a hint that you should come back to the Kings."
"Or that you should marry me so you can see me in a tux again," Kendall joked, hugging James to him again before stepping back and nodding at Rich, but otherwise ignoring that he was there. "What did you do, bring Mom flowers?"
"I wanted to do more, but I had no idea what she'd like. I considered apple pie, though. Then I realized she'd probably be insulted because she makes it better."
"Actually, she only did cookies today. But I helped," Kendall added.
"Then I'm sure they'll be delicious." They grinned at each other, James dipping in for another kiss. "So level with me. What am I up against here?"
Leading James toward the house, Kendall said, "Well, Katie said she would try to be nice. For her, that's a lot. And my stepdad couldn't make it, though he tried. So it's just Katie and Mom. But all you really need to know about Glenn is that he's a super nice guy who goes out of his way to make my mom happy and that he supports me and Katie in everything we do."
James nodded. "Good enough. You look different. Relaxed."
"I am. Being home for a few days has done wonders for me."
"Me, too. I was only there for a day and a half but it helped me focus. I kind of took a step back from everything and talked it over with Lana, and her advice helped me a lot."
"I imagine. Just being back in my hometown for a bit really grounded me."
"You ready to move forward with me, Kendall?"
Feeling like he was right back in that room in Rio where James had kissed him in front of everyone as a test, Kendall nodded. "I am. May the best man win."
"That's what I like to hear."
They stopped just inside the door for another kiss, Kendall suddenly hungry for it in a way he hadn't been since Vegas. He was surprised at the ferocity that came from him, as well as from James, and it wasn't until Katie addressed them that he remembered they weren't alone.
"Haven't even been introduced and you're already making out with my brother? Shame."
Rolling his eyes, Kendall stepped back but slid his hand into James'. "Katie, this is James. As you know."
"Hello, Katie." James pulled his hand free, then held it out to shake.
Arms not dropping from around over her chest, she said, "I hope those aren't for me. I hate flowers."
James lowered his hand, which had been hanging in mid-air. "I figured nothing would make you happy, so that's what I brought you. Nothing."
Katie blinked a few times, James smirking at her while Kendall choked on a laugh.
"Well then. I guess I'll be happy with that."
"Hi, I'm so sorry, had to check on dinner, I'm Jennifer, it's so nice to meet you, James!" Rushing toward them as she rambled, Jennifer reached out to shake James' hand.
"Thank you, it's a pleasure to meet you, as well. These are for you."
"You brought me flowers? Oh, you shouldn't have!" But of course she was preening, lips curved into a pleased smile.
Kendall was impressed so far at how easily James was winning his family over, or at least in Katie's case not bowing to her. "Are you thirsty, James? We can grab something, or if you're hungry there are snacks in the kitchen," he offered.
"Not too many snacks, boys. You'll ruin your appetites."
"Always the mom," Kendall complained, suddenly reminded of Logan and wondering if James had met Caroline yet. Would he be allowed to ask that? "Come on, James."
"Here, Kendall, do something with these." Passing over the bouquet of flowers, Jennifer added, "Katie, come help me set the table for lunch. We're eating in the backyard."
"Mom, there are flying things out there. Namely flies, which puke on your food every time they land."
"Katie, just do it. Boys, take your time in the kitchen, you've got a while still before the food's ready. Get reacquainted." She winked at Kendall before picking up a few grocery bags off the dining room table and heading out into the backyard, Katie on her tail.
"That wasn't so bad."
"Oh, James, she hasn't even gotten started. She'll interrogate you during lunch, I'm sure."
"I've got nothing to hide."
Kendall pulled him into the kitchen, Rich following them but Kendall once again falling into the ease of forgetting a camera was around, and after reaching into the refrigerator for a couple of beers he passed one back to James.
James responded with a smile of thanks and then sank onto a stool at the breakfast bar, pulling Kendall onto his lap with an arm around his waist. "I don't know what's wrong with me, I can't keep my hands off you today. It's been weeks since we've been alone."
"That's not wrong," Kendall grinned, twisting around enough to kiss James. "I'm feeling the same way. It's kind of like I'm rediscovering you."
"Yeah. Something like that." One hand on Kendall's thigh, the other in Kendall's hair, James tilted Kendall's head back for a deeper kiss, Kendall opening his mouth to it and once again surprised by the rush of lust that assaulted him.
"Feels like forever since I kissed you like this," Kendall whispered.
"I know. Amazing how things change when we're alone, isn't it?"
Of course they weren't completely alone, but Kendall knew what James meant. There was no Logan, no Carlos, no one else to make them feel guilty for what they were doing. James' hand slid up Kendall's thigh and he hissed, the brushing of fingers right where he needed it making him crazy. It had definitely been way too long since he'd had sex.
Remembering again that James liked to feel desired, Kendall pressed James' hand more firmly to him, thrusting up into the touch and satisfied when James groaned into his mouth. "We've got time. Follow me."
He stood up and pulled James along by the hand, glancing back once to see that James' eyes were dark as need swirled through him, and smirked. Logan wasn't the only one who could make James insane.
The guest room was down a hall and to the right, Kendall dragging James into the room before shoving him up against the now-closed door and kissing the hell out of him, not holding back at all and determined to make James lose control. He tugged on James' hair, remembering that James seemed to like that as well, and shuddered when James' hands slid up under his t-shirt to run over his chest.
There was no camera in this room, Kendall had effectively closed the door on Rich, and when he started unbuckling James' belt, James didn't stop him but encouraged him with a whine of need.
Kendall sank to his knees, James' fingers like talons in his hair, and in one move had James' pants down, yanking his boxers with them.
James was panting above him, eyes closed as he waited for whatever Kendall had in mind, and when Kendall's hand wrapped around him he thrusted into it, then apparently decided that wasn't enough because Kendall's head was suddenly being steered into place, his lips forced open to stretch around James' girth.
Kendall didn't fight the assault, opening wider as James took initiative and started moving, but after less than a minute of suction on Kendall's part it was gone, his face ripped away by James, who banged his head back against the door and muttered, "Fuck."
"It's okay, there's no camera in here, nobody's going to-"
"No. We can't." Still breathing heavy, James sidestepped Kendall's body and turned away, one hand pressed to the door as he struggled to calm down.
"Why not?"
"I just...not here. It's wrong with your mother and sister out there, and knowing one of them might knock on the door at any second...I can't. I'm sorry."
"It's okay, James," Kendall soothed, standing up to rub a hand over his back. "We got carried away, it's been a while. It's good to know we still have the magic, though, isn't it?"
James nodded, straightening to zip up and adjust himself. "We do have that."
"So as long as you keep me around another week, we can take it as far as we want. Or we can leave here and find a place, I don't care."
"No," James argued, but he was smiling. "I came here to spend time with your family, not fuck you in a random hotel room. We'll save that."
"So...that means I'm safe?"
"I never said that."
Kendall dragged James around and smirked, leaning in to nibble on his lip. "You don't have to. I can feel it."
James' answering smirk was a mirror of Kendall's, and his tongue slipped out to tease Kendall's lips. "I swear, I'm so damn horny all the time anymore. It's worse than it's ever been."
"I'm going to assume it's me."
"Right," James smirked, "it has nothing to do with the fact that I was around twenty gorgeous guys who were all over me constantly but I couldn't do anything about it."
"Well, now you can. I'm right here."
James rolled his eyes. "It's scary how much you're starting to sound like Carlos."
The smirk died, Kendall stepping back and running a hand through his hair. "Surely I'm not that full of myself."
"You're getting there."
Kendall reached past James for the doorknob, James halting him with a grip on his wrist. "I didn't say it was a bad thing. You're sexy when you're cocky."
"The same goes for you. Want to go spend some time talking to Mom? She's actually a fan of yours, thinks you're handsome."
"You mentioned that once. It's always nice to hear." James dropped a kiss to Kendall's cheek, slipping a hand into his before opening the door.
"The truth usually is," Kendall replied, and they smiled at each other as they made their way to the backyard.
They arrived just in time to sample the cookies Jennifer set down on the picnic table. Kendall gestured for James to take a seat, then rushed back into the house for the beers they'd left forgotten in the kitchen. Katie settled in across from James while Jennifer returned to the kitchen to finish getting lunch together.
James smiled at Katie, who said, "Well, I'll say this for you, you are hotter in person. Kendall was right about that."
The smile widened. "Thank you. I know you love him very much and I understand your protectiveness. He deserves someone who treats him right."
"Yes, but are you that guy?"
"I'd like to think so."
"But there are other guys you want, too. How is that fair?"
Speechless for a second, James licked his lips. "I guess it's not. But your brother knew going in it would be like this."
"I know. He's an idiot for doing this at all, I tried to tell him that."
"But if he finds love, doesn't that make it worth it?"
"As long as he finds it with the right guy. I'm pretty sure you're gonna break his heart before this is over."
"Katie, how is that even fair? You don't know me. I hate it when people assume things about me."
"Then put my mind at ease. Tell me right now he's the one you want."
"I can't do that. Whether it's true or not."
"Come on, he's not even here right now."
"But Rich is, with his camera. As well as the two over there. I'm not allowed to state either way which of them I've settled on, if in fact I've done that at all."
Katie sat back, eyes narrowed and arms crossed over her chest. "Tell me about Logan."
James' face flashed with shock as he jolted slightly. "He has nothing to do with my feelings for Kendall."
"Kendall says he's the one you're leaning toward. Is he right?"
"Kendall said that?"
"Yep. So if you thought you were doing a good job of appearing neutral, you weren't."
"What else did Kendall say about Logan?"
"I'm not at liberty to discuss that."
Rolling his eyes, James reached for a cookie.
"Fine, if you won't talk about Logan, tell me about Carlos."
Breaking into another smile, James asked, "What do you want to know?"
"Just tell me about him. He sounds like fun."
Kendall joined them then. "Sorry, James, Mom wanted to talk for a minute. Is Katie being nice?"
"No, but I can handle it. We were just talking about Carlos."
"Oh. Carlos. What about him?"
Taking a bite of a chocolate chip cookie, Katie replied, "I asked what he's like. Wanted to hear James' version."
"Carlos is awesome," James answered. "He makes me laugh and is a blast to hang out with. I hope you get to meet him someday, he's so unique."
"Kendall says I will, that no matter who you pick Carlos is never leaving his life."
"That isn't exactly what I said," Kendall argued.
"So you're okay with never seeing him again?"
"Katie, back off. Carlos is wonderful but it's James I'm in love with."
Jennifer's voice reached them from the patio door. "Katie! Come help me carry the food out!"
Looking toward the house, Katie sighed. "Fine."
Kendall cracked open his beer and took a long swallow once she was gone. James opened his more slowly, musing over the conversation before asking, "What else did you say about Carlos?"
"James, please don't let her get to you. She's testing you. It's you I'm in this for. I thought I made that clear."
"She asked about Logan, too."
"Logan? What did she want to know about Logan?"
"Apparently you've decided he's going to win."
Kendall's mouth set, frustration flashing in his eyes. "That's not true. If I'd decided that already, I would've bowed out. You're worth fighting for."
That brought a smile out of James. "Good to hear. Sometimes I wonder with you."
"I know, and it's partly my fault for thinking of everyone else before myself, but that's done. I'm in this to win. I don't know that I've said it yet, but I do love you, James. I don't want you to doubt that."
"Come here." James scooted around so that he was straddling the bench, Kendall going willingly when he was pulled close and wrapping his legs around James' waist to meet the kiss. James' tongue possessed his mouth as if taking up residency, Kendall's breathing quickening as he returned the kiss with equal fervor.
"Okay, I'm all for Kendall finding love, but we're about to eat. Honey, take this so I can go back for more?"
"Sorry, Mom." Disentangling himself from James, Kendall stood to help set the food down. Jennifer smiled at James before heading back into the house, James rising from the bench to follow.
"I'm gonna go help your mom."
"You don't have to."
"It's fine."
Without another word, James approached the house, passing Katie on the way.
Jennifer spun away from the oven with a plate of food. "Here, Kendall, take-oh. James. Hi!"
Taking the plate, James smiled. "Didn't mean to startle you. I wanted to ask some questions about Kendall."
"Now? We'll have time for that later."
"I know, I just...his last boyfriend."
"Michael? What about him?"
"He says they broke up because of the distance. Because they ended up on different teams."
"Right. It was too hard on them, though they tried to keep it going for a while."
"Does Kendall still love him?"
Jennifer looked at him in confusion for a second, then she sighed. "James, they've been apart for a long time."
"Kendall seems like the type to hold on. Like if you're in his life, he doesn't let go."
"I think these are questions you should be asking Kendall, not me. But I will say that they still talk occasionally. I don't think it's anything to worry about, though. He's moved on."
"You're sure?"
"Again, you'll have to ask him, but I think so. Where is this coming from, James?"
James shrugged, juggling the plate to grab another from her. "I always feel like he's holding back with me. Like he isn't giving all of himself."
"I imagine he's scared, honey. There's a chance he won't end up with you and it's hard to devote yourself one hundred percent when you know you might get your heart broken. Kendall...he's careful. The happiest I ever saw him was with Michael, and when they broke up he took it very hard. It was a mutual decision, but that didn't make it an easy one."
Nodding, James considered her words. "Do you think he's ready now? To put his heart on the line?"
"For the right person, yes. I haven't seen the two of you together enough to know yet if that's you. I do know he really wants to win because he cares a lot about you." When James was silent, she patted his shoulder. "Come on. Let's eat and then we'll talk some more. I have questions for you, too."
"Is Katie getting alone time with me? I'm not sure I'm ready for that."
"We'll see. Just don't let her walk all over you. Stand up for yourself; it's the best way to gain her respect."
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks."
After an enormous meal in which Katie demanded answers about Lana and the fact that James was known to sleep around, Kendall reached over to squeeze James' hand. "I'm sorry. Thanks for being a good sport about this."
"It's cool, she's just looking out for you. She doesn't have to be rude about it, though." James aimed the last bit at Katie, who shrugged without regret.
"You know what they say, buddy-you marry someone, you're marrying the whole family."
"Yeah, that would be enough to scare me away," Kendall joked. "I'd run screaming if I was James."
James chuckled. "You haven't met my mother yet. Katie's a breeze."
Kendall paled slightly and James laughed. "It'll be fine. She'll love you."
Katie pounced on the words immediately. "So you're keeping him around! Don't try to deny it now, you already said it!"
Smirking at Katie, James replied, "I can still change my mind, you know. Keep it up, see what happens."
"Katie, please don't. It's not a dare."
James smiled at Kendall. "I think we'll be fine. And I was speaking hypothetically anyway." Turning to Jennifer, he said, "Lunch was incredible, thank you."
"You're welcome to stay for dinner. I can't guarantee it'll be all this, but it'll still be good. And you could meet Glenn."
"Glenn's awesome," Katie tossed out.
Remembering Kendall telling him about how long it had taken Glenn to win Katie over, James responded with, "Wonder if you'll say that about me someday."
"I make no promises."
"I'd love to meet Glenn," James said, getting back to the topic, "but I'm flying out tonight for my next...location."
"Going far?" Kendall asked, searching for clues.
"Maybe," James evaded. "I need to leave here by five."
"That early?" Kendall pouted, causing James to lean over and kiss him.
"You're adorable when you pout."
"I don't do it often."
"I know, that's more Carlos' thing. I hope you guys meant what you said, because I want to keep in touch with all of you if I can."
"We did," Kendall nodded. "Of course that could change at any time, if one of them decides they don't want to, but I hope they don't."
"I get the feeling you wouldn't let them."
Kendall bit his lip, wondering if this was another test. It honestly didn't matter, because this wasn't something he was bending on. "You're right. I won't let them."
"That reminds me," James mentioned casually, "Carlos asked me to pass on a message to you."
Sitting up straighter, Kendall's eyes widened. "Carlos? You saw him already? How is he?"
"He's good. I saw a different side of him, other than the big kid I'm used to seeing. He's actually got a lot of responsibility."
"Well, he has to, if he owns all those restaurants. But he's good?"
"He's great," James smiled. "I got to meet Chachi."
"Oh my god, what was that like?" Kendall grinned.
"He's precious, just like Carlos. Obsessed with a toy that he won't let go of. Always demands to be the center of attention."
"Yeah, that sounds like Carlos." At an amused look from Katie, Kendall cleared his throat. Had his face "lit up" like Katie said it did? "So what else did you do with him?"
"I'm not supposed to talk about it. I shouldn't even have told you I saw him already, but he asked me to pass on the message, so..."
"Right. What's the message?"
James licked his lips before answering. "I'm trying to remember exactly how he said it. Something about you can keep Joanie when this is all over if you want."
Kendall blinked, his mouth opening slightly. "Joanie. Shit. I never gave her back."
"He said you'd probably forgotten."
"I did. She's...she must be in my suitcase. I've hardly unpacked anything since I've been home, just lived out of my closet. Oh man, I feel so bad. I promised I'd give Joanie back before we left Rio."
"Well, just take her with you when we meet up at the end of the week."
"Okay, hold on," Katie interrupted. "Who's Joanie and why is she in your suitcase?"
Kendall laughed, only now realizing how weird it must sound to someone who didn't know the story. "Joanie is a stuffed animal James won Carlos on one of our dates. Along with Elyse and Alex P. Keaton."
"Ohhhhhh. You mentioned that, him naming stuffed animals after T.V. shows."
"Yeah, Joanie's a dog so she fit in with the 'Happy Days' gang. It makes sense if you know Carlos."
Jennifer smiled. "He sounds adorable."
"He really is, Mom. I've never known anyone like him."
Once again Katie raised an eyebrow, giving Kendall an "I told you so" look, and Kendall frowned. "So uh...what was it he said? That I can keep Joanie?"
"Basically he said if you don't want to see him again when this is over, he's fine with that."
Kendall felt as if he'd been kicked in the gut. "Oh."
"But you're not going to let that happen, are you?"
"I...well. If he doesn't want to see me, I can't...I mean..."
"No," Katie interrupted. "He's not letting that happen. He needs friends and he's not ruining this. You're not ruining this, Kendall."
"Katie, if he decides he doesn't want to see me-"
"He's not going to," James inserted. "This is Carlos we're talking about, the guy who had you in a death grip because he was afraid of the dark."
Kendall smiled slightly, remembering the cave in Hawaii. Apparently James had noticed that. "He was terrified. Shaking."
"I know he was. And you got him through it because that's what you do. That's the kind of guy you are. He's not going anywhere. I got the feeling he was more worried you were going to."
"I'm not, as long as he still wants me in his life. Both him and Logan."
James nodded. "Good. Because you said you thought maybe we could all be friends when this is over, and I have to be honest. I've never had real friends before, other than Lana. I think I told you that?"
"Yeah. In Vegas."
"Right. I understand if it's too hard for you guys once I propose to one of you, but if you can handle it I'd really like to keep in touch with all of you."
"I can. I think Carlos can, too."
When Kendall didn't add more to that, James narrowed his eyes. "But Logan can't?"
"He's..." Kendall sighed, not wanting to get into it.
"What?"
"He tends to get jealous. More than the rest of us. As I'm sure you noticed the last night we were all together."
There was that smirk again, and Kendall suddenly wondered if it had been a test for Logan as well. "Yes, I've noticed his jealousy."
"It would probably be difficult for him at first, to see you with someone else. Though he did say that as long as you choose either me or Carlos, he'd be happy."
"Really."
"Yep. So...you know. I'm right here."
James' head fell back as he laughed. "And once again I'm in the presence of a Carlos clone."
Kendall grinned. "He tends to rub off on you. Get under your skin."
"That he does." Standing up, James stretched. "Jennifer, can we-"
"Oh, James, just call me Mom. All of Kendall's friends do. His boyfriends, too," she winked.
"You got it. Mom, may we have that talk now?"
Katie rose. "I'm totally in on this."
"Katie, give the poor guy a rest."
"It's okay, Jen—I mean, Mom," James corrected himself. "It's okay, she can come. She has a right to ask me questions, too."
"It's probably best she does it with you there, Mom," Kendall agreed. "She'll go easier on James."
"I really won't, but whatever makes you feel better." Katie grabbed James' hand and pulled him toward the house.
"Remember how much you love me!" Kendall called out to James.
"Yeah, yeah." Looking back to make sure Jennifer was following, James trailed Katie into the living room, where a camera was already set up.
"Who's this guy, your own personal cameraman?" Katie asked, gesturing to Rich, who had come in behind them.
"Pretty much. This is Rich, he goes everywhere with me when we're filming."
"I see. So you know everything, don't you, Rich? You see him with all the guys?"
Rich only smiled, training the camera on her.
"I bet you've got some stories to tell."
"I'm only here to film," Rich replied. "I don't interfere at all."
"Well, that's boring. Mom, come on! Forget the dishes, I know you're trying to clean up in there! You can do that after James leaves, he's only got another hour or so!"
"Alright, alright, I'm coming!"
James took a seat in an old, beat-up chair while Katie settled on the sofa across from him, Jennifer rushing in to sit next to Katie.
"Oh, James, you don't have to sit in that chair. It's Glenn's and he refuses to let me get rid of it."
"I don't mind, it's actually pretty damn comfy. Unless he has a thing about other people sitting in his chair...?"
"No, it's fine. Okay, so...let me get my thoughts in order. I actually have a few things I wanted to say."
"Take your time."
Katie jumped in. "I'll start, then. Why will you talk about Carlos but not Logan? What do you have to hide about Logan?"
When there was a snickering sound from Rich, James gave him a warning glance before addressing the question. "I have nothing to hide. I just didn't think there was any reason to talk about Logan. Or Ryan, who is the other guy still in the running. Or Carlos, for that matter, but Carlos...I don't know. You find yourself wanting to talk about him, he's just so precious. I can't imagine living without him in my life now that I know him. And don't take that as me playing favorites, either, Katie. I'm sure Kendall would agree with that one hundred percent, as would Logan. Carlos is just that kind of person."
Jennifer leaned back, a smile tugging at her lips. "I really hope I get to meet this Carlos one day. He sounds like such a fun person to know."
"He really is. You feel so...I don't know. Free with him. Which is crazy, because he's got so much responsibility and—wait. I'm sitting here talking about Carlos. This always happens around Kendall. He's not even in the room, and I'm talking about everyone but him. How does he do that?"
"Fine. Let's talk about you, then," Katie pounced, resting her elbows on her knees. "You're a supermodel."
"I am."
"You don't act like one."
"Is there a certain way I'm supposed to act?"
"I've seen you on T.V. You're not like this. Which is the real James Diamond?"
James chuckled. "Both, I guess. When I'm working, I admit there's an image I try to uphold. I've been told by a few people lately that I don't need to do that in order to do my job. I'm thinking maybe they're right. But the person you're talking to today, this is me."
"Hmph."
Rolling her eyes at Katie, Jennifer took over. "Kendall mentioned you would be moving wherever the winner lives."
"Yes."
"Why? Wouldn't that uproot your life?"
"My life is one that can be easily uprooted. That's not the case with Kendall, he's stuck wherever his team is. And I'd go with him, because I've come to realize that I'm tired of living alone. I want a husband I can be near as often as possible."
"He's very close to us, James. Is that a problem?"
"Absolutely not. I admit, I'm not close to my parents at all. I never speak to my father, and my mom...well. She loves me but we don't get into deep discussions. She calls me once a week and it's like 'Hi, son, you doing okay? Yes? Okay, talk to you next week.' I have no siblings. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't welcome a new family to be part of."
Jennifer smiled, pleased with that answer. "We are always welcoming of new friends." After a brief silence from Katie, Jennifer elbowed her.
"Yeah, sure. Break his heart and I break your face. That's the bottom line here, Diamond."
"Katie!"
"Oh come on, Mom, you said the same thing this morning!"
Clearing her throat, Jennifer pushed on Katie until she was standing. "Go help your brother clean up the mess out back."
"Fine. But I mean it, James. You're famous, it's not hard to find you."
"Katie. Go. Now."
James watched her go with an unreadable expression.
"Don't listen to her, honey. It's true that we won't take kindly to anyone who hurts Kendall, but we're aware of the situation you're in and that only one man can be chosen. I don't expect you to propose to Kendall if you're in love with someone else."
"That's the problem," James sighed. "I'm kind of in love with all of them."
"I can imagine it isn't easy."
"They're all so wonderful. I didn't know it would be like this, that I'd fall so hard for even one, let alone three."
"Three? Aren't there four left?"
James blinked, realizing what he'd said only after the fact. "Rich, kill that in editing?"
"Done."
Jennifer patted James' hand across the coffee table. "So one of them isn't even an option at this point?"
"I didn't say that. I wouldn't, because-"
"James, it's okay. If you don't love Kendall, it's better to realize that now."
"But I do love Kendall. He's everything I've ever wanted in a man."
"Really?"
"Yes," James nodded. "I used to imagine what the perfect guy would be like. Kendall's pretty much what I always pictured."
"Aww. That's so sweet. But that makes it hard on you, knowing you have to turn away other incredible men who care so much about you."
"It does. I don't want to hurt anyone. And I realized too late that it's going to happen no matter what I do. Someone's going to get hurt. More than one someone, actually. I hate myself for that. If I'd known that coming into it...and maybe I was an idiot not to, but if I'd known that, I don't think I would've done this."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
Choosing her words carefully, Jennifer asked, "Do you know yet who you're going to propose to?"
"I can't answer that."
"Have you run it through your head yet, the ones you'll have to say goodbye to? I've watched the show, I know how it works. That last person you eliminate goes into it thinking he might be the one who wins. And that's probably the hardest part of all of this, having to tell that person he isn't the one."
James closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair, expression pained. "I don't want to hurt anyone," he whispered.
"Oh, honey, I know. But you have to go with your heart. In the end, your heart will tell you what to do, even if you don't know now."
"How do you know, Mom?"
"Know what?"
Opening his eyes, James leaned forward with an intense gaze and asked, "How do you know when it's love?"
She smiled, thinking of her husband. "The answer everyone gives is 'You just know.' And that's probably the most frustrating thing you'll ever hear in your life, because until you've experienced it, you don't know."
"What if you think you are, but are afraid to believe you're right? What if you're wrong and end up with the wrong person but lose the right one in the process?"
"Then I guess you learn a lesson."
"That's not how I want to learn that particular lesson."
"I know, sweetie. Love isn't easy, except...when it's right, it just works. It's not perfect and you will have your difficult moments but the bottom line is you love someone enough to make it work anyway. You have to love enough, both of you do, or it won't last."
"Enough. You have to love enough," James repeated.
"Exactly."
"How did you know? Kendall said you were alone for a long time before you remarried, how did you know he was the one? And please don't tell me you just knew, I need specifics."
"Well, I didn't just know, if you want the truth. Not in the beginning. It was a gradual thing with Glenn. I saw him almost every day and it just became part of my day, running into him when I stopped for a cup of coffee."
"He would just randomly be there?"
"No, he worked there. At the coffee shop. That's where he still works. Each day we'd talk a little more and a little more, and he was so sweet. About a month in, I started looking forward to that part of my day. I didn't even realize it at the time, but I would take extra care with what I wore and with my hair and I did all those girly things I swore I was done doing."
Laughing, James nodded. "I know how that is. Not the girly part, but taking pains to make yourself look good."
"Katie started picking up on it, and one day she went with me and told me he had a crush on me. I didn't believe her, figured Katie was just being Katie, and it wasn't until another month passed that I started to think she might be right."
"What tipped you off?"
"The fact that one day I went in after spending hours cleaning, I had no make-up on and my hair was a mess and I was in my grungy old sweats but it was in the afternoon and I figured Glenn had already left for the day anyway. I was wrong."
"And?" James leaned back, settling in to enjoy the story.
"And that was the day he first told me I was beautiful. I thought I'd heard wrong, but he said it again, that I was beautiful. I wasn't sure what to make of that."
"Sometimes the simplest things are the most beautiful," James murmured.
"He didn't ask me out or anything, but I started having my coffee in the shop instead of getting it to go, and he'd find reasons to come talk to me. Eventually I asked him out, just a simple dinner, and it went so well that we made a weekly date of it. He never tried to kiss me or pressure me, he just enjoyed my company and made me laugh a lot."
"But when did you know?" James asked.
"I don't know. It got to the point where he was always in the back of my mind, no matter what I did or where I was he was with me, and I'd find myself wishing I was with him at the oddest times. Katie received an award and I couldn't wait to tell him. When the Sharks won the cup, he was the first person I called and screamed to, shared my excitement with. And when my mother died...I think that's what finally opened my eyes. He was there for me. Of course Kendall and Katie were too, but Glenn stayed up with me all night while I reminisced and cried, and when he left the next morning I didn't want him to go. It had been so wonderful to have someone at my side again, to lean on. But I told myself it was just because I was upset, because I was feeling needy. And then the next time I saw him, something snapped in me. I realized suddenly that while we'd become best friends, I wanted more, never wanted him to leave my life. It took me a few days to get up the courage but finally I went to tell him, to see if there was any way he might possibly feel the same, and arrived at the coffee shop to see him hugging another woman."
"Oh, Mom. That had to kill you."
"It did, but mostly because I felt I'd let my chance pass me by. All that time I'd had him right there and been too stupid to realize what I was feeling was love, and it was too late. I almost left but he saw me as I was walking out, called me over, and said how happy he was I was there because his sister had been dying to meet me."
"His...sister." James grinned.
"Exactly. So I met the sister, she was very sweet and made it obvious he talked about me often, and when she left I didn't waste another moment. I took him into the backroom and kissed him. Shocked the crap of out of him, but it worked. He said he'd been wanting to do that forever but had been afraid to come on too strong and chase me away. And I have to admit he might've if he'd tried that in the beginning."
"But how did you know you weren't just holding on to him because you didn't want to be alone? How did you know he was the one?"
"I'd been alone for years, James, and planned to stay that way for the rest of my life. Trust me, being alone wasn't a problem for me. But I knew for sure when I kissed him. It woke up feelings in me I hadn't had probably since Katie was a baby. I always shoved them down but with Glenn I suddenly couldn't. I think I almost got him fired that day because I wouldn't stop kissing him," she laughed. "But it all worked out. He said he'd known the first time I smiled at him he couldn't live without me, or at least without that smile. I can't live without his kiss. He's always there, in everything I do, and of course I'm fine when he's gone. It's not a crazy kind of 'I have to see him every second or I'll die' kind of thing. It's more than I don't feel whole until he's by my side again. I don't know how else to explain it. But that's just me, James. Everyone experiences love differently. What I feel for Glenn may not be what you'll feel for the man you're meant to be with."
James' gaze was on his feet, thoughts obviously spinning in his head.
"Have I helped you at all?"
"Yeah. More than you know." He looked up with a soft smile, standing suddenly to cross the space between them and hug her. "It's so hard, all of this. There are times when I think it'll all work out, and other times I'm terrified it won't. What if I make the wrong decision?"
"Follow your heart, honey. If you do that, you'll never make the wrong decision. Even if it means Kendall isn't the one you choose. He'll survive, and that will leave him free to find the one who lights up his world the way Glenn lights up mine. I have to say, though, that I hope you are that person, and if you're not, I want you to know you're welcome here anyway. Anytime you need to talk, you know where to find me, okay?"
"Thanks, Mom." James squeezed her tight. "I don't have a lot of those kind of people in my life."
"I know, sweetie. And even though Katie comes on strong, she's got a good heart. If you break Kendall's, it will take her a long time to forgive you, but that doesn't mean she won't eventually. Just to be safe, though, you should choose Kendall."
Laughing, James stepped back and shook his head. "No pressure, though, right?"
"None at all," Jennifer grinned. "I'm glad we got to meet you. I hope you know that whatever happens, things will work out. Sometimes how you least expect them to."
"Thanks."
"Are you sure you can't stay longer? Glenn really did want to meet you."
"I'm so sorry, I wish I could. The show set up all the arrangements and I have to catch that flight."
"Alright. I think you've got just enough time for another make-out session with Kendall, if you hurry."
James laughed again and headed toward the kitchen, mind still spinning.
"Well, I've definitely fallen in love with your family, Kendall."
Kendall smiled, grabbing James' hand as they walked out toward the limo. "Really? Even Katie?"
"Yes, because once she learns to trust me, she'll be a valuable friend to have in my corner. She's ferocious about people she cares about."
"That she is."
"I wonder where she gets it," James teased.
"Yeah, maybe," Kendall conceded. "I do my best to make sure my loved ones are taken care of and happy. I feel like rather than an asset, that's a liability with you."
"It's not, Kendall. I respect it a lot. I haven't had many people in my life I feel really close to, but I get where the feeling comes from. I've only known you guys a short time and already I know I'd be willing to fight to the death for you."
"Really?" Kendall stopped walking. "You mean...me and Logan and Carlos?"
"Yes. I'm honestly scared this isn't going to end well, especially if Logan can't control his jealousy once I make that final decision, but I don't want to lose the opportunity to get to know you guys better as friends."
"Whatever you do, don't choose Logan just so we can all remain friends. That isn't going to make anyone happy."
"Kendall, have a little faith in me. I'm not stupid."
"Okay, just making sure. I know how tempting it can be to put others before yourself."
"I know you do."
They smiled at each other, Kendall leaning in for a kiss that James allowed before sighing. "You sure you can't stay longer? It feels like I barely got any time with you."
"I know. I'm sorry, it just worked out that you got shafted. I wanted to see your house while I was here, you can tell a lot about a person by the way they live."
"True, but you have to remember that I spend most of my time here anyway when I'm off-season. This is basically my home, much more than my house is."
"Would that change if we lived together?"
"To an extent, yes. I'd definitely want to go home with you at night." Kendall lifted James' hand to his and kissed it, James seeming to melt slightly. "And don't forget, if you wanted to, you could travel with me during the season. You'd fit right in with the team wives," Kendall teased.
"Shut up," James chuckled, and this time he was the one who initiated the kiss, drawing it out for much longer than necessary until Rich cleared his throat and reminded James they were pressed for time. "Damn, okay. I do need to go. Thank you, Kendall. For opening your home to me and your family. Katie actually shook my hand when I said goodbye."
"I saw that. It's a step."
"So I'll see you in a few days?"
"I'll be there, James."
"Promise? You're not going to decide I've already chosen Logan and why should you even bother?"
"No, I never thought that! I just felt you were leaning in that direction."
"What have I ever done to give you that impression?"
Not wanting to admit that it was more the things Logan said that gave him that impression, Kendall shrugged. "It's more a feeling. You act differently around him."
"You've hardly seen me with him."
"Enough to notice that much, James. You're different with all of us, though, not just Logan."
"Each of you brings out a different side of me. I can't help that."
"I know, but with Logan...you know what? You need to go. All this is gonna do is have us fighting in two minutes and I don't want to end this on a bad note."
"No, finish that. With Logan I'm what?"
Kendall sighed, wishing he'd never mentioned it. "I don't know. Just...I don't know."
"Fine. But don't ever assume you know what I'm thinking or feeling, Kendall."
"I'm not. If I did, I wouldn't still be here."
"Okay." There was one more brusque kiss from James, and then he climbed into the limo. "I'll see you Friday."
"I'll be there."
As the car disappeared into the distance, Kendall wondered why it was that he and James always seemed to end up arguing. His only consolation was that Logan had the same problem, too.