Chapter Twenty-Five: Things That Should Not Be Forgotten

Dinner was an abnormally uncomfortable affair. Emelia sat awkwardly between Fili and Kili, listening intently to the sporadic conversations bouncing around the table with only half of her attention. She munched on her salad, glancing at the two dwarves beside her occasionally, doing her best not to stare too much at how much food Bombur was eating, or how steely the looks were that Dwalin was giving Beorn, or how much she had embarrassed herself earlier in regards to Kili.

The one nice thing about the evening meal was that Emelia felt clean, after having been escorted the nearest water source by a very helpful Balin, for the first time in weeks. The water had been brown by the time she was finally able to scrub all of the grime off her body. Her hair was curling like it was supposed to, in thick ringlets all around her neck, back, and face, bouncing with each step she took. The only thing she smelled when she held her hand up to her face or pulled her hair to her nose was soap and that made her more excited than it probably should have.

Kili had made good on his promise by giving her a bar of soap. It was a lump of something she wouldn't have normally considered soap, but the dirt on her body was bothering her so much she would have scrubbed herself clean with steel wool. In return, Kili insisted she explain deodorant to him. Emelia had never thought it would be so hard to explain something so simple, but she had been wrong so many times recently, it didn't really surprise her that she wasn't very good at it.

She had been rambling for about ten minutes about white powder that made you smell good when Kili picked up her arm and smelled her skin.

Emelia had never been more mortified in her entire life.

Her embarrassment had been compounded by the fact that when she had snatched her arm back from him he had followed it up by saying that she smelled like fresh air, underneath all the dirt and blood and sweat, that is.

Emelia pushed a large piece of lettuce around with her finger, looking down at the table as if it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen. Kili shifted next to her, elbowing her while simultaneously stuffing a large bite of cheese into his mouth. He missed, causing pieces to crumble and attach to his stubble. He didn't realize, or didn't really care, as he smiled widely at her. Emelia contemplated continuing with her usual response of ignoring him until her embarrassment subsided before she realized that would do her very little good. She would have to ignore him forever if she did that.

No matter what happened, or how they talked to each other, or how they looked at each other, Kili son of Mirwi was always going to embarrass her in every way he could think of.

The meal had started out pleasantly enough until Beorn, Gandalf, and Thorin came back from their outing. They said very little to the rest of them about where they had been as they sat down at the table set by Beorn's animal companions. Emelia had eyed them, both the animals and the late arrivals, with wariness as usual. The silence was comfortable until Dwalin asked where the meat was rather tactlessly. Apparently, Beorn did not like to eat the animals that he talked to on a daily basis.

Emelia could relate to that notion. When she was six, she had made the rather unfortunate mistake of naming one of the salmon they caught. She had called it Sammy the Salmon, fully expecting her parents to let her keep the fish in the fish tank that they kept in their heated garage. She had been appalled to learn that Sammy the Salmon was not for keeps. In fact, he was set to be packed in ice for one of the restaurants. Emelia had been traumatized, to say the least, when she had come home from school and there had been no Sammy the Salmon there to greet her.

When the small talk ran dry, the dwarves turned their attention to their plates, beards thrown over their shoulders to avoid getting the rich puddings and sauces in their now perfectly clean and freshly braided hair.

Beorn seemed to be thinking thoughtfully in his large ornately made chair by the hearth, massive fingers crossed underneath his chin. He eyed Thorin the most, a look of great suspicion on his borderline animalistic features. Gandalf did not seem to notice the tension, or his mind was focused on other things, as he sat in an equally large chair opposite of Beorn.

The meal continued on in silence until all of the dwarves, Emelia, and Bilbo had had their fill of food. Emelia, for her part, was entirely excited to be able to leave the table. When the food was being cleared away, once again by the animals that Emelia had a hard time making eye contact with, she took that as a cue to take her leave of the uncomfortable meal altogether.

She made eyed the pile of hay she had used as a bed, feeling fully exhausted after everything that had happened that day. She had laughed more than she thought she was capable of when she had watched the dwarves try to play football. In addition to that, she was certain her brain and body were still tired after she had run and consequently slept for a day and a half. Straw had never looked so inviting in her entire life. She wanted nothing more than to bury her face in the poky straws of hay and sleep until she was no longer at risk for falling asleep standing up.

"Not so fast, Emmy."

Emelia saw all the tantalizing thoughts she had about sleep melting in front of her, only to be replaced by a very sneaky looking Fili and Kili.

"We had a deal." Kili said, nodding with his head towards the door. "Remember?"

"Right now?" Emelia asked, glancing back over at her spot, feeling slightly mournful. "Like, right now, right now?"

"As opposed to later, right now?" Fili asked, a slight amount of good-natured mocking lacing his words. "The sooner you come with us, the sooner you can come back and cuddle with all the hay and the mice and Ki…"Fili was interrupted by a swift punch in his side from Kili which effectively cut him off entirely.

The three of them stood in silence for a moment, Kili and Emelia doing their best to ignore the snarky comment from Fili. Emelia contemplated, again, about going back to her hay to avoid the entire evening of uncomfortable comments from Fili altogether. Fili grabbed Emelia's hand before she could move back to her warm pile of hay, seeming to sense what she was planning. He shot an odd look at Kili, before he led her towards the massive door. Along the way Kili nodded at Ori, who, fumbling as usual, grabbed a hold of one of his notebooks. He followed them towards the door, smiling brightly at Emelia despite her confusion at his inclusion in the outing.

Kili had just placed his hand on the door handle to leave when Gloin's voice stopped them.

"And just where are you four going at this time?"

Fili, Kili, and Ori looked as if they didn't plan on being caught. Emelia thought that was a bit strange considering they were literally walking out in plain view of everyone in the entire company. Emelia rolled her eyes at the matching looks of panic on their faces.

"I have to go," Emelia paused, fully hating Fili, Kili, and apparently Ori, in her mind for making her come up with a reason that they were leaving with little to no help from them. "Pee."

Gloin did not expect her to answer in such a frank manner. He flushed under his beard, looking over at Oin, who was sitting next to him, awkwardly. Oin, who had been without his hearing trumpet for the better part of two days, did not seem to have heard what Emelia over-shared with the dwarves in the nearest vicinity. He went on smiling, artfully blowing smoke circles from his pipe in the slightly oblivious manner that Emelia couldn't help but feel jealous of.

"I have to pee. A lot. Like a river. I think my bladder is about to expl…" Emelia would have continued rambling if it hadn't been for Kili squeezing her shoulder as an indication to stop. "Right. I'll stop over-sharing now."

"We thought Miss Emelia shouldn't be alone." Fili supplied, voice laced in a way that Emelia knew was meant to sound logical and diplomatic.

"And three of you are needed to escort her to do her business?" Gloin did not sound convinced.

"I'm a nervous pee-er." Emelia was certain none of the dwarves would be able to look at her with a straight face after this. Kili let out a snort of laughter, which he covered up by throwing his hand up to his mouth. He did not do a very good job, resulting in even more loud burst of laughter coming from him. Fili was forced to reach behind Emelia to slap him roughly on the back of the head. Emelia kept her gaze on Gloin, doing her best to ignore the looks and laughter the two brothers were giving each other behind her back.

"Right." Gloin looked at Oin once again, eyebrows knitted together. "If I were you, I would return before too late. It is not safe."

"Right, well I'm super-efficient when it comes to my bladder, so we won't be gone too long."

Gloin's mouth scrunched up. "You are over-sharing again, Miss Emelia."

"Sorry. We'll be going now."

Emelia allowed Fili to pull her out of Beorn's house, followed closely by a still laughing Kili and a very confused looking Ori. Emelia hoped that whatever it was that they were planning on showing her was worth her thoroughly embarrassing herself in front of Gloin, who she quite liked, and Oin, who thankfully wasn't able to hear the majority of her mortifying moment. In truth, Emelia really did have to pee. It was a convenience that allowed her to not consider herself a liar. That truth was not one she had planned on sharing, however.

Emelia had not thought Beorn's house was hot until they stepped outside into the cool air of early night. The cold air washed over her face, instantly making the heat from her blush feel slightly less prominent and bothersome.

"So, what is it you wanted to show me?" Emelia asked, opening her arms out to let the air wash over her. "It better be worth me mortifying myself for the hundredth time."

"I thought it was hilarious." Kili said, poking her in the side.

"I really do have to pee." Emelia said, stepping back from him so he wouldn't poke her again. "So, if we could make this quick, that would be fantastic."

"Emmy, I do not think I have ever met somebody who was capable of ruining moments more efficiently and effectively as you. Would you just let us show you something nice before you complain about it? Just this once?" Fili said, leading them past the meadows outside Beorn's home.

Emelia had to lift up her pants to keep them from dragging and catching on the grass as they moved farther and farther away from Beorn's house. Ori had been kind enough to give her the clothes she had first borrowed when she had needed a change of clothes after being rescued from the trolls. They were far too big for her, even more so now that she continued to lose weight, but they were relatively clean. She had managed to clean her clothes in the lake, but they were almost beyond wearable. She kept them, however. She couldn't really bring herself to give up on them entirely, although she wasn't really sure why.

"Sorry, Fee." Emelia said, not sure if he was insulting her or telling the truth in a harsher way than he intended.

"It's only a little farther, and then you can go relieve yourself all you want." Fili sounded slightly less enthusiastic about where they were taking her than before. Emelia knew she was to blame for that. She wasn't sure why, but whenever Fili and Kili told her they wanted to show her something or take her somewhere, she never fully trusted them. She supposed she should change that.

"I trust you." Emelia said suddenly. She hadn't meant to say it out loud, but there it was, floating over them, instantly changing the atmosphere of their walk. "Over-sharing, sorry."

Fili did not respond. He pushed back some of the brush from the trees, holding it to allow Emelia, Ori, and Kili to pass along in front of him. He smiled ever so slightly at Emelia, which she took to mean that he wasn't overly mad at her for being such an insufferable, distrusting, wary, killjoy. She knew it was something she needed to work on. It was something she needed to work on when she was home in Alaska and she imagined being so far away from home had intensified the need to improve that particular part of her personality even more.

They walked in silence for approximately ten more minutes before Fili finally stopped. He placed one of his hands over her eyes, using his other to guide her so that she wouldn't trip. She did not protest, like she normally would have, and allowed him to lead her over the roots sticking out from the ground so that she wouldn't trip. Kili and Ori followed along behind them, chatting idly with each other.

"We saw this the other night, while you were passed out like a drunk…"

"I was recovering." Emelia reminded him, blinking rapidly against his slightly sweaty hand. "If you'll recall, I was involuntarily drafted into the all dwarf track team."

"How could I forget?" Fili asked dryly, lifting her up over a particularly large root. "You can look."

Emelia thought Alaska ran the gambit on beautiful things, truly. As beautiful as she found Beorn's home, she still thought Alaska was more beautiful. She didn't feel that in that moment, standing with Kili, Fili, and Ori. They had somehow managed to take all of her breath away with one simple act. She was certain she had lost all ability to breathe, think, and understand just at the sight in front of her.

"It's… god, it's so beautiful."

The lake that she had bathed in earlier that day had been transformed into something more magical than she could have ever imagined at night. The surface of the lake was like glass, undisturbed and perfect, reflecting the millions of stars above them perfectly. The moon was in both the middle of the sky and the lake, pristinely white like she had only seen it a few times before back in Alaska. She moved to stand closer to the edge of the lake, not even aware of the three dwarves standing behind her. She felt even worse that she hadn't trusted them when they said they wanted to show her something so supremely wonderful.

"I knew you would like it." Kili had managed to sidle up behind her while she was staring at the sight before them.

"I… I… love it. Kee, I really love it." She felt him reach a hand down to grab a hold of her hand.

"Do you remember that night after the Goblin King," He paused. "Of course you remember, it was less than a week ago." He muttered that part more to himself than her. "You said something about how much you loved the stars. You said that you missed your stars more than anything. I thought you would like these. You said stars could never be ugly, but there are certainly some that are more beautiful than others, if you like that sort of thing."

"I didn't think you were really listening to me." Emelia admitted, not bothering to look away from the lake.

"I listen to every single word you say. I listen to you when you're talking about your bodily functions, and I listen to you when you're yelling at me, and most of all I listen to you when you're sharing something about where you are from. You looked so sad when you were talking about your stars and it I couldn't really do much about it. I'm doing something, we're doing something, about it now."

Emelia looked at him in complete and utter shock. She had never been so floored by anything someone had said in her entire life. Her stomach had been twisting up in knots when he first started talking and now she was certain it wouldn't ever become untangled. She wasn't sure how she was supposed to respond to him, not when he was being so undeniably charming and endearing. It did not help that the moon was lighting him perfectly, making him look like some sort of oddly handsome, oddly hairy, male model.

"I might have been wrong earlier." She finally managed to squeak, fully aware of Fili and Ori snickering at their interaction behind them.

"About what exactly? There are so many instances I can think of."

"Perhaps the dwarf women aren't good enough for you, not the other way around."

Emelia wasn't sure why she was sharing so much, but apparently it was the mood she was in the night. All thoughts of her bladder were entirely forgotten. All thoughts of Ori, and Fili, and Beorn, and the orcs were erased from her mind as she stared at him.

"I do believe that is the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

"So when I try and show you pretty things I get called names, but when Kee does it you look at him like you want to snog the stubble off his face. Nice Emmy." Fili spoke up from behind them, effectively ruining any moment, if it could be called a moment, she was sharing with Kili. "That's really nice."

She stepped back from Kili, pulling her hand away from his. "If you are referring to the rainbow, that was entirely your fault. You have terrible timing, obviously." She glanced at Kili, seeing him folding his arms over his chest as he started at his brother with a mixed look of amusement and annoyance. "I was in a terrible mood and your feeble attempts at cheering me up were about as weak as my mother's holiday eggnog."

Fili stepped up to her, rolling his eyes at her words. "I appreciate you too, Emmy."

"We should get going. Dori will have my head if we're out too long." Ori sounded nervous.

Emelia saw him slip his pen into his pocket while he closed the sketchbook she hadn't noticed he had actually brought along. She was wondering why Ori had come with them. Now she had her answer. She should have guessed he would want to sketch the lake. It truly was something that should be documented. She had seen so many ugly things, so many nasty things that made her nightmares from her childhood seem like nothing. That lake, in that moment with those three dwarves, should be cherished.

It should be remembered.

"I over-shared on a lot of things tonight, but I think you guys can handle one more." Emelia said, stopping Fili, Kili, and Ori as they made to head back to Beorn's house. "I don't know if you intended to, but this is the most thoughtful thing that anyone has ever done for me. My parents have given me lots of things, and my brother has given me lot of things that I don't know what to do with, but were thoughtful all the same. Those were different though. Those were from my family and family is kind of obligated to give you things. You aren't my family and yet here we are." She gestured to the lake behind her.

"Emmy you have done so much for us…"

"No, listen." Emelia stopped Fili before he could explain away their gift to her. "I would do that stuff again. I would face the Goblin King again, in a heartbeat. I wouldn't need anything from any of you to inspire me to do it again. I didn't do that as a favor for you, because it's not a favor when it's for people that you, well, people that you care immensely about."

Fili, Kili, and Ori glanced back and forth at each other. "Let me clarify. I am not happy most of the time, but you dwarves make me somewhat not so depressed. Sometimes I wonder why all of this happened to me, why I was torn away from my family, but when I'm with you guys I wonder less. I wonder less because I start to think that I was meant to go with you and help you in any way I can. Maybe that's why I am here."

"You ramble a lot." Kili said, effectively ending any warm thoughts she was feeling towards them at the moment.

"I'm never sharing anything again, you ass."

"I listened to every word though, and I think I got the main bits. In your own very confusing Emelia way, you're saying to us that you're starting to feel not so mad at us. I think I've noticed you glaring less, which is an improvement." Kili stepped back from her when she made to hit him. "Emmy, we wanted to show you this because you deserve it after everything you've done. I know we don't value you as much as you deserve, but we really wanted you to know that the good things you do are not unnoticed and will certainly never be forgotten."

"This is the most chick-flicky moment of my entire life." Emelia said, feeling unnaturally emotional towards Kili, Fili, and Ori.

"Dori is really going to kill me." Ori reminded them, drawing the moment that they had just shared to a resounding close.

After the urging of Ori, they began to make their way back to the house. Emelia felt almost as warm as she had been in Beorn's house, but for an entirely different reason. She didn't think much of what she said made sense, but that didn't appear to have mattered to her companions, her friends, her dwarves. Kili had grabbed her hand when they began to make their way back to the house, and didn't show any signs of letting go. She didn't mind. His hand was huge, sweating more she would have liked, but there was something about it that comforted her.

"I forgot. I have to pee." Emelia said, stopping them in their tracks. Fili laughed, shaking his head. He was being surprising tactful in ignoring the fact that she was currently holding hands with his brother. He kept shooting snarky looks at the two of them, but otherwise said nothing.

"How could you forget that sort of thing?" Ori asked.

"Just wait a moment?" Emelia asked, pulling her hand out of Kili's.

"Ori will go with you." Fili said, leaning back against one of the tree's to wait for her.

"Why? Isn't that a little weird." Emelia was not exactly keen to have Ori listening in on her while she peed what she was sure was going to rival the volume of Niagara Falls at any given moment. "Actually, more than a little weird."

"I would say Kili can escort you, but we all know he couldn't be trusted around you while your pants are down."

"There it is." Emelia rolled her eyes, taking a subconscious step away from Kili. "I knew you weren't being quiet without reason. You were waiting for the perfect moment, weren't you?"

"Of course." Fili said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the entire world. "I'm his big brother. I wouldn't be doing him justice if I wasn't bothering him in some fashion. It just so happens you are a part of it."

"Alright, enough Fee." Kili cut across them, the blush on his cheek just barely peeking out in the moonlight streaming through the trees.

"I'm going to go pee. Ori, look alive. Apparently, you supposed to keep me alive for the two minutes it takes me to elevate the Olympic amount of liquid currently bouncing around inside me." Emelia stalked off into the trees, knowing full well that she had once again over-shared. Ori followed along behind her, leaving the laughing brothers waiting in the small clearing they had found themselves in. Emelia walked only far enough away so that she knew Fili and Kili wouldn't be able to hear her going to the bathroom. Something about the thought of Kili hearing her pee rubbed her the wrong way. It was probably the fact that she currently couldn't stop thinking about his hands, and his nose, and pretty much everything else about his ridiculously handsome self. But she pushed those thoughts aside, willing herself to think about anything else in that moment.

"I'll just be behind this tree." Emelia said to Ori, ignoring the awkward look on his face.

Ori nodded at her, turning his back to her to give her more privacy.

When she was certain he wasn't going to see any bits of her that he really shouldn't be seeing, she pulled down her pants to finally relieve herself. She was about halfway through, when a twig snapped behind her.

"Ori?"

He didn't respond to her.

"Ori?" She called his name louder, willing herself to pee faster so that she could return back to the safety of being with Fili and Kili.

He still didn't respond to her once again. Emelia knew she shouldn't have been panicking. Ori was just being polite to her, what with her currently half naked state. That being said, she couldn't stop herself from whimpering when the snaps of the twigs got louder and closer.

"Ori, I know I'm not wearing pants, but could you jus…"

She didn't get to finish her sentence. She didn't even get to pull up her pants before she was grabbed by the feet from behind and dragged roughly to the ground, her surprised scream muffled by the dirt she suddenly found herself face first in.

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