So, I've been on vacation for the past few weeks, so I'm going to be posting as much as I can in the next two before I head back. My goal is to be 100% done with this story before I go to Diagon Alley on the 10th (WOOT! It's opening!). I am almost done writing anyway, so I should make my goal. So, I hope you enjoy the next few chapters. I have had a great time writing them, especially the next three. Enjoy (and review, please)!

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After dinner, Harry noticed Professor Snape leaving the Great Hall. He had the sudden urge to thank the man for allowing him a few hours of respite from his friends and godfathers. Telling his friends he would see them later, Harry trailed after the man. When he went down the same stairs Snape did, he quickly realized that if he continued, he could get very lost very quickly.

"Professor Snape!" he called out, deciding to take the right path instead of the left.

"Mr. Potter?" he heard Snape's reply. He quickly came into view, which made Harry feel much more comfortable in his new surroundings.

"I was wanting to talk to you," the teen answered. "Do you have a moment?"

Nodding and replying that he did, Snape showed Harry to, what he figured was, his office. Walking into the room, Harry got a flash of a scene where Snape was bending over to look at him with a nasty look on his face and saying some very not nice things. The next scene he got was where he and Snape were standing next to each other, trying to hit a mannequin with a spell at the same time.

"Harry?"

Harry held up a finger, telling the man to wait. Unfortunately, the moment was gone. Sighing in frustration, he looked up to see Snape's bemused expression.

"Sorry, just chasing memories."

The man seemed to understand. "What did you see?" For some reason the man seemed a little hesitant about asking the question.

Looking back, Harry tried to remember the details. "Well, there were two memories. One was that you were really not nice," he chanced a quick look at the man before continuing. "The other was us trying to hit a dummy with a spell." He had no idea what that was about.

Snape looked thoughtful for a moment, as if trying to decide how to answer his unspoken questions. "Those are two very different memories. Which one would you like me to explain first?"

Harry smiled. "Well, the first, I guess, since it is so different from what you're acting like now and with the second memory."

The man nodded. "To answer that I have to go back a little ways. How much have you been told about your father's time here at Hogwarts?"

Harry smiled wider. "A bit. Remus and Sirius have been telling me stories."

"I see. Well, I am sure they did not mention the fact that your father and I never got along?" At Harry's affirmation of that thought, he continued. "Your father and I had some, disagreements, if you will, when we were in school. We did not like each other very much," Snape smirked, which led Harry to believe that the man's last words were an understatement. "The hatred that I felt toward your father continued on to you, which is the first memory you saw. Then, a few months ago, you saved my life and, after some time, showed me that you were not like your father, that you were more like your mother. Even though others tried to tell me that before, it never registered with me until the moment that you were genuinely concerned for one of the people that you hated a little less than the Dark Lord."

Harry was startled. "Did I really hate you that much?"

Something flickered in Snape's eyes and he took a deep breath. "Yes, you really did hate me that much, although I have to take the blame for that."

Harry frowned and asked another question. "What happened? Or was I just like that? Hating people for no reason? Because I don't know what I really acted like." His shook slightly, almost afraid to know the truth.

Harry was surprised to find Snape's neutral expression soften slightly, and his mouth turn up ever so slightly. But it didn't last for long. "No, you were not like that, Potter. You were very polite to everyone, except to those who insulted your friends or family."

Nodding, Harry was relieved to know that he didn't just go around hating people for no reason at all. He was, apparently, like his mother. The comment Snape made tugged at him. "You said I was like my mother? Did you know her well? Did you guys not get along, either?"

There was a look in Snape's eyes that Harry wasn't sure how to describe, but it made him think about retracting his question. The man seemed to be in a faraway place, not there with Harry. He was trying to decide how best to back away from the situation when Snape unexpectedly started to answer his question.

"I knew her. We actually grew up not far from each other. When I found out she was a witch, I explained our world to her; she was raised with people who did not know that magic existed until Lily started to show signs of magic. We became friends."

Harry smiled, Snape's explanation making him want to hear more. "What was she like?"

Snape was quiet again, and Harry could have smacked himself. Didn't he realize when he asked his first questions that it was difficult for Snape to talk about his mother. He wasn't sure why; what could have happened between them that made the man hesitate so much? Harry somehow knew that this behavior was not normal for the professor. As much as he wanted to know, he didn't want to push the man who had been so helpful to him.

"I'm sorry, never mind, I-"

"No, Harry, it is fine. You just asked me the same question a few weeks ago."

"Oh," Harry replied, shocked. "What did you tell me?"

Snape sighed before saying, "Nothing. At the time it was not something I felt comfortable discussing with you."

Harry had to admit the man did look a bit uncomfortable right now. It seemed that the man wasn't used to talking about such things. The silence continued, which made the teen very uncomfortable. Deciding to do something to break the tension that was created by the man's statement, he said, "I'm sorry, I can-"

It was Snape's turn to hold up a finger to stop Harry. He seemed to be debating on whether or not to answer Harry's question. Sitting back, the young man decided to wait out the older man.

"Your mother was the kindest person I have ever known," he said, that faraway look back in his eyes. "She did not care what house someone was in, as long as they were nice to her, and others, she would help them any way she could. She would defend her friends against anyone who dared to say anything against them. Your mother had quite the temper," Snape said with a smile. Harry smiled as well. "When she was angry there was little that could bring her down until she made her point. However, she would be the first to admit if she did, or said, something wrong. In class, she was one of the smartest. The only person better in Potions was myself, though she bested me in Charms and Transfiguration. If she did not know something, she did not stop until she learned everything she could about it. She was not, however, prideful. She did not flaunt her knowledge to others, but make no mistake, she was very intelligent. Another thing that you should know is that she loved you very much." For the first time since Professor Snape started talking, he looked up and met Harry's eyes. "She did everything in her power to protect you, until the end. You were the only thing that mattered more to her than her own life."

Harry couldn't help the tears that threatened to spill over. His mother died so that he could have a chance at life. "She cared for you too, though, right?" he asked without really thinking about the question, trying to get his mind off of his mother's sacrifice, or else the tears would most definitely fall.

Pain shot across Snape's face before he could mask it. Mentally kicking himself, Harry wished he would stop making things so difficult or the man. Maybe they should stop and Harry should go back to the dorm.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I shouldn't have-"

"There is nothing for you to be sorry for, Pot – Harry," Snape immediately interrupted. "You do not remember. But you will."

"So I know the answer to the question?" Harry asked, but knew the answer before Snape confirmed it. He couldn't help but get frustrated again. "But when will I remember?" he all but screeched.

"Soon," Snape promised. "You are already starting to get some of your memories back. It is only a matter of time."

Harry sighed. "I know. I just want everything to come back to me now."

The faraway look almost gone, Snape actually smiled a little. "Understandably. However, that is not going to happen. I know you are not very patient, but you are just going to have to wait it out."

Huffing, Harry slouched in the seat. Easier said than done, he thought.

"Anything else I can help you with?" the man asked.

Shaking his head, the teen told him no, and he excused himself. He had bothered the professor long enough. Thinking back on all the things the man told him, Harry wished more than ever that things were different. He wanted to know the woman Snape knew, he wanted to know the man his godfathers knew. He wanted parents. He wanted his memories.

Walking through the halls of the place that felt like home but held very few real memories for him seemed to harm rather than help. Things were off and Harry knew it. Things he should be able to recall easily, like his favorite food, were out of reach. How he met his godfather – apparently that was quite the tale.

Sighing for what seemed to be the tenth time that morning, Harry tried to find it within himself to not think about the fact that he couldn't remember anything. When he got to the portrait that opened immediately for him, Harry found his friends laughing by the lifeless fireplace. Looking, for all they were worth, like everything was right in the world. When they acknowledged and motioned him over, he felt a part of himself tug him over and allowed him to feel like this is what was supposed to happen. Listening to Hermione relive one of Ron's less intelligent actions, Harry was able to forget everything else and just be with his friends.

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Harry bolted out the door and ran out onto the grounds. Frustration and anger coursed through him as he ran. It was all becoming too much. Why couldn't they just leave him alone and realize he wasn't going to remember?

It had been close to a week, now, since he had awakened in the Hospital Wing, and he was no closer to remembering anything about himself. Sure, he had vague feelings every once in a while, but it wasn't the same as actually knowing. Like, knowing why he liked a particular room on the third floor, or knowing why his feelings toward Snape bordered on parental. Why couldn't he just remember already?! And his friend's constant reliving of times past and pushing to get him to remember something was quickly becoming too much for the teen to bear.

Finding himself at the lake on the grounds, Harry finally stopped running and sat. The water was calming as he looked at it and his mind went blissfully blank. He closed his eyes and heard a loud crack fill the air. Harry bolted up and looked around for the source of the sound and saw, in his mind's eye, a street with cars and hearing the same sound. He then saw black, frightening creatures – dementors, his mind told him. A white light coming from his wand that turned into a stag.

Shaking his head, Harry tried to regain his grip on reality. Suddenly, he heard a shout and, instinctively, he rolled to the side, feeling a heat pass by him. Standing, he turned toward the forest to see a woman – a rather ugly and disheveled woman – come out with her wand trained on the confused wizard.

"Potter! I will kill you for what you've done to me!"

His confusion so all encompassing, Harry couldn't help but show it on his face, even though he figured that was a bad idea. "What is wrong with you?" he yelled at the lady. Her only response was to send another jet of green light his way. He remembered enough to know it was something to avoid being hit with, and threw himself out of the spell's path.

"You live while my master is DEAD!" she all but screeched at Harry.

Recognition dawned on Harry when he realized what was going on. A memory threatened to overtake him, as a jet of red headed straight toward him. Unfortunately for Harry, he was too slow. Pain erupted from everywhere and he couldn't help the scream that escaped his lips. It was then that a piece of the puzzle slammed into place and he remembered who she was. "Bellatrix!" he spat the name as if he were swearing, once she released him from the spell's hold. It was then the floodgates opened and the force of it made Harry fall to the ground cradling his head, begging the pain to cease.

He saw a young Dudley being given presents as Harry sat and watched, knowing he would never see such nice things –

He saw the snake at the zoo slithering away on his way to Brazil –

He saw Hagrid show up at the hut and give him his letter –

He saw his years at Hogwarts; meeting Voldemort through Quirrel, meeting Tom Riddle in the Chamber of Secrets, finding Sirius and realizing he was his godfather, watching Voldmort be reborn and seeing his parents, watching Sirius fall through the veil and felt Remus holding him back while he screamed –

He saw his godfather alive again and their time at Hogwarts –

He saw the events that led to his and Snape's reconciliation –

He saw his and Snape's attempts at the spell and the battle that led to Voldemort's demise and his amnesia –

He saw his friends and family try to help him regain his memory and fail –

He saw Bellatrix come out of the forest and cast the Cruciatus Curse on him.

All this flooded through Harry and once the memories ceased, so did the pain, and blackness enveloped him.

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Harry opened his eyes and realized he was laying down in the fetal position. As he moved, he realized he was no longer outside, but on a soft surface inside. His eyes adjusting to his surroundings, Harry realized he was in the Hospital Wing, and for the first time in a week, he knew where he was and who was sitting at his bedside.

"Professor," the teen greeted the black haired man.

"Potter," Snape greeted back, relief evident in his voice. "Glad to have you back with us now that you are done napping."

Harry couldn't help laughing. "Glad to be back." Looking around he asked, "Where is everyone?"

"Eating. They have been sitting by your side for hours, it was time for them to take a rest and I volunteered to wait with you in case you came to."

A feeling of warmth flooded through Harry, realizing the man did care. Deciding on the best way to let the man know he was really "back" with them, he found the perfect opportunity. "Professor Dumbledore didn't hog-tie you in front of Voldemort I see," he said with a smile.

The man was about to answer, when the statement processed and confusion replaced the smirk. "Harry?" he asked quietly.

Smiling, Harry nodded. "I'm back. All of me."

What happened next, Harry will remember, as the moment that all the demons in hell were buried under fifteen feet of snow.

Snape got out of his chair, leaned over the bed, and grabbed Harry into a massive, bone-crushing hug that would make Mrs. Weasley proud.

Harry was so stunned that not only could he not talk, he couldn't move. Severus Snape, hated rival of the Marauders and all things Potter, until recently, was hugging Harry! It took Harry a moment before he could, awkwardly, put his arms around the man and return the embrace. When Snape pulled away, Harry saw the first true smile that graced his face since…well, probably since the last time Lily Evans smiled at him. Of course, it was a small smile, but it was a genuine smile of happiness, nonetheless. "Glad to have you back, Potter."

"Harry," he corrected, smiling at his once-hated professor.

"Harry," the man relented.

"Can I go down and see everyone?" Harry asked, the desire to see his friends and family overwhelming, even though he knew he'd seen them all only a few hours previous. However, at that time, he didn't know them and what they'd all done together. Now that he remembered everything, it was time to get things back to the way they were.

Snape turned to look at the matron's office door, which was closed. "If you make a break for it."

Harry and Snape shared a conspiratorial grin before both men got up and ran for the door as quickly, and quietly, as possible. They made it before Madam Pompfrey was able to make it out of her office. Heading downstairs, Harry started going through all the things that had happened over the past week. "Has it been a week since the battle?" Harry asked.

"Actually, it has been a week plus the two days you were out after the battle," Snape said, as they got to the staircase to take them down to the Great Hall.

Remembering his first "lucid" moments, he remembered screaming his head off in frustration. Instantly his face heated up and he was sure it was red and that Snape was bound to notice. Which he did.

"What is it, Potter?"

"Harry. I was just remembering when I first woke up. I kind of freaked out, sorry about that," Harry said, grimacing.

"It was understandable, Harry," the two men shared a smile at Snape emphasis on Harry's name. "You were completely confused and surrounded by people and things that you knew you should have known, but did not. We did not think any less of you for it."

That made Harry feel much better. He was starting to think about how he was going to get the others to realize that he was actually back in his own mind, when they got to the Entrance Hall and saw the Great Hall doors open and Sirius walk out. Sirius was still Winchester, which confused Harry. Why wasn't he himself? That thought brought another to the forefront of his mind and he remembered a conversation with his friends that made his heart swell and his stomach jump. "Sirius," Harry breathed, before running to the man and throwing his arms around him. "You're free!" he yelled, ecstatic.

Sirius hugged him back, lightly at first, but then seemed to realize what was going on and Harry found himself being crushed for the second time that day. "Harry?" he asked, hope thick in his voice. Nodding, Harry found himself too overwhelmed with happiness to speak; which only led to Sirius tightening his hold on the young Gryffindor. Soon, though, the hug ended and Harry looked up into the glistening eyes of his godfather. "Oh, Harry."

"Harry?"

Turning, he saw they had an audience. Ginny took a step forward, the same hope reflected in her eyes as the rest of the crew around them. Harry smiled before walking over to his girlfriend, taking her into his arms, dipping her, and kissing her soundly on the mouth. Cheers erupted, and when Harry righted them both, arms surrounded him, everyone wanting to either shake his hand or give him a hug. Smiling at all his friends, he happily was passed from person to person. One of the last people to get ahold of him was Remus. Smiling widely at his second godfather, Harry threw his arms around him.

"I'm so glad you're back, Harry," Remus whispered. "We missed you." Remus pulled back and Harry saw a sparkle in his eyes that he hadn't seen in a week.

"Thanks, Remus. Me, too." Turning to Sirius he asked, "Why do you still look like that? Hasn't everything been straightened out at the ministry yet?" Harry asked, walking over to his still-disguised godfather.

"Well, yes, but it hasn't been officially published yet. Besides, I wanted to wait until you were back to yourself before I told you. Which begs the question, how did you know?"

"What are you going on about, Harry? And why did you come running to Professor Winchester? I didn't think you knew him all that well," Seamus asked.

Harry grinned. "Well, it's a story that's better seen than told. Do you think Professor Dumbledore would allow you to return to normal?"

"I think that is a great idea."

Spinning around, Harry found Professor Dumbledore coming down the steps. "Professor," Harry said, inclining his head. He was slightly nervous and also trying to control the anger he felt when he saw the man.

"Harry, it's good to have you back. I think a great way to celebrate is for your godfather to finally be your godfather and not Professor Winchester," the headmaster said with a smile.

Grinning like a fool, Harry turned back to see Sirius take his wand out and, with a flourish, take off the spell that disguised his real features. The effect when Sirius was revealed was hysterical. Everyone underage, except for Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, screamed and started running for the exits. The looks on their faces were priceless and Harry and his friends were soon in stitches. Soon, though, they seemed to realize that there were people laughing instead of running for their lives, and so they stopped and came back, albeit, warily.

"Harry, what is going on?" Dean asked.

Laughing still, Harry approached his godfather and wrapped his arms around his neck. Sirius enclosed his godson in another hug, this time, though, it was more happiness instead of desperation. Stepping back, Harry couldn't help but laugh again at the look on his friends' faces.

"Sirius is innocent. Peter Pettigrew never died on that street, he faked his own death and framed Sirius for it." Harry explained to his stunned friends.

It was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop, until Seamus spoke up. "So, we were training with Sirius Black this entire time?"

Harry nodded and broke out in a fresh wave of laughter, his happiness uncontainable. Soon, though, some of his friends joined in. After a few minutes of Harry intermingling with his friends, he turned to his godfather.

"So, what do you want to do now that you're a free man? Oh!" Harry exclaimed, an idea forming in his mind. "Will you come to Diagon Ally with us tomorrow?"

Sirius smiled. "I'd love to, kiddo, but I have to be officially cleared before I can go walking around in public."

Confused for a moment, Harry let the comment sink in. Once he realized what his godfather was saying, his stomach seemed to drop to his knees. "Wait, you're not cleared? I thought Peter was-"

"He is," Sirius stopped him before he could continue. "But there has to be a hearing, the one I never got in the first place, before I can start walking around in public. Here is fine, but where other wizards and witches can see me and hex me halfway to the moon? I think I'll wait a little while for the news to set in before I -" Noticing the look on his godson's face he stopped. "Harry, what-"

"You're not free." Harry winced inwardly at the heartbroken, disappointed sound of his monotone voice.

"Well, not yet, but I will be. Peter will be forced to tell his side of the story and so will I. There's nothing to worry about, Harry, Professor Dumbledore will make sure of it. And when it's all done, you and I are going to go looking for a house that we can-"

"No!" Harry exclaimed, taking a few steps back, away from his godfather and his hope-filling words. He was suddenly glad they were the only two in the Entrance Hall. When that happened, Harry didn't know, but he was immediately glad for it. "No, don't."

"Harry, why are you so upset? Everything is going to be fine!"

"That's what you said last time, remember? Then everything fell to pieces! No, don't even say it, not until you're officially cleared and it's all over the Daily Prophet." Harry spun around and started bolting toward the door to the grounds when he felt an arm grab him and wrap around his waist to keep him still. "Sirius, let me go!" he yelled, flailing around trying to escape. It took him a while to realize it wasn't his godfather restraining him. Harry was suddenly thrown back into the memory of when Sirius fell into the veil and Remus had to hold him to keep him from following his godfather. Tears streamed down his face as the memory overtook his sense of time and space as all he could think about was that day in the Department of Mysteries. Coming back to his senses, Harry angrily wiped at his face and spun around to give Remus a piece of his mind when he was stopped short.

Remus wasn't the one restraining him; it was Snape.

Another memory came to the forefront of his mind as he remembered Snape walking into the Shrieking Shack, his wand trained on Sirius. It had been so long since he thought of that moment, and he was so thrown into the memory that he felt a rush of hatred for the man that he hadn't felt since the night Snape risked his life to keep Harry's whereabouts a secret.

He could see Snape's surprised expression before Harry was suddenly released from his grasp. Taking his opportunity, Harry bolted out the door, fresh tears staining his face. Sirius wasn't free and he couldn't get his hopes up – that's what he told himself anyway, though he knew himself well enough to know that his hopes were already halfway to the moon. Besides, what if Sirius really didn't want him to live with him? If it were Harry, he wouldn't want a young kid underfoot, bothering him throughout the day after everything he'd been through; he'd want peace and quiet. It made Harry's heart sink at the thought that Sirius wouldn't want him to live with him. It was understandable, but still hurt.

Even though he was outside, it was still a little hard for Harry to breathe. The memory was still fresh in his mind, the night that his life seemed to fall into place and then having the rug pulled out from under him, it still hurt to think about. He saw the whomping willow in the distance and made his way toward it. Standing near the tree that held Sirius and Harry's first real meeting place made Harry come back to the present, instead of living in the past.

The first thing the teen realized was that he was being stupid. Sirius was in the castle, ready to offer him a place to live, and here he was moping outside. The next thing he realized was how much he probably hurt Professor Snape. Though it didn't register with him at first, the look on Snape's face while he was in the moment, now it was all Harry could think about.

Turning and running back toward the castle, he hoped that the professor would be in his office. That would allow Harry to not have to go searching for the man, anyway. Harry threw open the doors and made his way, quickly, down the stairs and into the dungeons. He could honestly say, he had never tried to get to the potions classroom so fast; and he made it in record time.

Bursting through the classroom doors, he all but shouted, "Professor!"

As luck would have it, Snape was, in fact, in the classroom. It seemed, however, that Harry had scared the man half to death.

"Potter! What is it?" Snape was standing and making his way to the teen quickly.

Catching his breath, Harry's first words were, "I'm so sorry, professor! I don't know what happened, but I'm not mad at you, I don't blame you for anything, I don't hate you, I just-"

"Harry!" Because it was still so unusual for Snape to use his first name, and using the sharp tone that he did, snapped Harry out of his rant and he was finally able to shut his mouth. "Slow down, child. For heaven sakes, I thought more Death Eaters were on the way with how you were carrying on. Now, slow down. What are you saying?"

Making sure to take a deep breath before speaking again, Harry tried to form coherent sentences within his desire to make things right. It turned out to be more difficult than he realized. Apologizing for his irrational behavior seemed easier to do when he was frantically spewing it all out. Now that he was being rational, he felt embarrassed about the whole situation.

"Harry?" The teen looked back up at his professor, who seemed to understand. "You were reliving the Shrieking Shack, weren't you?"

"Yeah, I – wait, how did you know?" Harry was shocked that Snape knew what happened when he had just figured it out himself.

A small smile emerged on the professor's face, which lightened Harry's mood. "Wild guess."

Harry smiled in response. "Good guess." His smile faded somewhat. "I don't know what happened. It wasn't the Shrieking Shack at first, only when I turned around and saw you."

Now Snape looked confused. "What did you think of?"

The memories still fresh, Harry found it difficult to explain. Averting his eyes again, he whispered, "The Department of Mysteries."

Snape didn't say anything for a while, long enough for Harry to get nervous and chance a glance at the man. He saw understanding reflected in the Slytherin's eyes. "Have we not discussed this already?" he asked. "It was not your fault."

"But it was!" Harry exclaimed, turning around to glare at the wall behind him. "If I hadn't-"

"Enough."

Harry turned around, ready to start again when he saw the look on Snape's face. "You must stop blaming yourself for something you did not know would happen. No one blames you, least of all your godfather. Has anyone ever told you that it was your fault?"

Shaking his head Harry tried again, "No, but-"

"'But' nothing. If the person who was affected the most does not blame you for what happened, then why do you think it is acceptable to blame yourself?"

Harry started pacing, he knew no one would understand. Everyone just kept saying that it wasn't his fault, that he shouldn't blame himself. But he did! Why would he put all this on himself if it wasn't true? Why couldn't they just accept that Sirius' death was Harry's fault?

"You obviously haven't done something that you blame yourself for, even if others don't blame you for it."

The moment that statement came out of his mouth, Harry wished he could take it back. Of course Snape had things he blamed himself for, how could he not? He was a Death Eater for crying out loud! Harry didn't even want to think about all the things he must have done under Voldemort's orders. When he looked up at the man, sure enough, he saw a faraway look in his eyes that told Harry he did blame himself for things that he had no control over as well. When the look faded and Snape came back to the present, Harry's stomach dropped.

"You really think that?" he said with no expression. Snape had a slight grimace on his face, he obviously didn't want to have this conversation. "You know I do. You also know the reason. However, the 'others don't blame me for it' part? You know that they do, and it is justified."

Harry tried to quickly think of something to say to relieve the man's guilt. "But I don't blame you. It was Voldemort who made the decision, not you. You didn't know that he would think my parents would be in danger. You didn't know that he would…do what he did. When you found out, you did everything you could to save them." Harry paused, a rueful smile crossing his face. "Well, at least my mum. I know you probably wouldn't have cared about my dad, which I understand why. But, when you heard she was in danger, you turned on Voldemort and helped Dumbledore so she would be safe. I'm sure she wouldn't blame you. Besides, you more than made up for it, if there was anything to make up for."

He was quite proud of himself. Harry made a great speech, and it seemed that Snape was taking it to heart.

"Really? So, just because I didn't know the Dark Lord would kill your mother makes it not my fault, even though I brought him the information that led to her death? And though I tried everything I could to save her, which didn't work, I shouldn't blame myself?"

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "You didn't know. You didn't kill her," it had not skipped Harry's notice that they were not discussing his father. Though understandable, he still mentally added him into his thinking. "Voldemort did. You tried to help us as much as you could. Besides, I'm the closest thing to my mother you've got. So, if I don't blame you, you shouldn't either."

Snape stared at Harry for a while, who felt he was finally getting through to the man, when he suddenly smirked. "You know you walked right into that, don't you?"

Harry quickly became very confused. "What? What are you talking about?" Didn't he blame himself for his parents – well, at least his mother's – death?

"So, it is not all right for me to blame myself about your mother, but it is totally fine for you to blame yourself about your godfather?"

Shock radiated from his mind to the rest of his body. Snape was right. He did walk right into that.

But this was different! "But-"

"No. Unless you didn't mean a word you just said. Unless you were just saying those things to make me feel better and did not believe anything in your lovely sermon, you have no reason to blame yourself for something that neither your godfather nor anyone else blames you for."

Finally stunned into silence, Harry couldn't think of anything to say. Did he believe what he just said? Yes – for Snape. It was harder to believe when it came to himself. He couldn't see how he could ever not blame himself for what happened last June. He could still remember the desperation he felt watching Sirius fall through the veil and out of his life. It was not something he ever wanted to feel again. Then came the summer where he was left alone, burrowing into himself and his guilt and grief. It was a hard habit to break, thinking that everything that ever went wrong was your fault – especially when you have people like the Dursley's drilling it into your head every day of your life that you caused all their problems.

"Harry."

Spinning around, Harry caught sight the man they were just speaking of standing in the doorway with a sorrowful look on his face. Horrified, Harry turned looking for an exit. How much had Sirius stood there for? It seemed like a pattern Harry couldn't stop, whenever he started talking about things he didn't want people to know about he would have an unknown audience to his emotions.

Harry collapsed into the chair in front of Snape's desk where he found himself standing, placing his head in his hands. As strong as his desire was to see Professor Snape and apologize for his behavior, that was how badly he wanted to get out of this room and away from the impending conversation.

Remembering the door to Snape's quarters, though knowing it was a bad idea, Harry tried to gage the distance between where he was and if he could make it before anyone tried to stop him. Deciding to hedge his bets, and knowing he would rather try and fail than just sit here and have the conversation he knew as coming, Harry tried to sprint toward the man's office. No luck. Snape was much quicker than he looked. For the second time that day he grabbed Harry around the waist, but this time, he didn't just hold onto him, he bodily carried him back to the seat and all but threw him into the chair. Harry realized quickly that Snape was going to get his way. Sure enough, Snape put a sticking charm on him so he couldn't get out of the seat.

"It is time to stop running, Harry."

The shock of Snape using his given name in front of other people, not to mention that it was Sirius, made the emotional teen look up. Snape was not going to let him go until Sirius and Harry hashed things out, again. The piercing look the man gave him left no room for arguments.

Harry's shoulders sagged in submission. He had no choice but to do as the man "requested" and talk to his godfather.

Snape stood and finally acknowledged the other man in the room. "Black."

"Snape."

Surprised beyond any words that he could express, Harry was stunned to hear that neither man greeted each other with the normal amount of poorly hidden loathing. They sounded like acquaintances rather than the long-time enemies they were.

Noticing the shocked expression on Harry's face, Snape smirked. "I will leave you to your discussion," the man said, turning and walking into his office. Harry swore mentally. He knew that Snape would be able to hear every word of their, probably, loud conversation.

Sirius decided that he needed to be within Harry's field of vision, so he walked around so that he was in front of Snape's desk. Leaning up against it, he seemed to be deciding on the best way to start the talk that Harry had no desire to have.

"Harry, why did you run?" Sirius asked, genuine concern and confusion easily read on his face.

Harry averted his eyes and said, "I don't know."

He saw, out of his peripheral vision, Sirius' head tilt in confusion. "Of course you know, Harry. What is going through your head? Why won't you talk to me?"

Sighing, the teen said, "I really don't know, Sirius. I have my memories back, but something happens that reminds me of a memory and I get thrown right back into it, basically reliving the whole thing. I know it's not rational, but it's what is."

It was Sirius' turn to sigh before pushing away from the desk and taking a step toward his godson. He knelt down in front of him and pushed a finger under his chin to make Harry look at him. "You know I don't blame you for what happened at the Department of-"

"Stop!" Harry exclaimed, throwing his hands over his ears. His emotions were too raw after having just remembered almost his entire life and everything he ever wanted to forget about. "Please, just stop."

"Harry!" the man seemed about ready to call Snape back into the office to give Harry a calming draught or something. "Please, calm down. Look at me!" Sirius grasped Harry's head between his hands to make him still. "It was not your fault. I know you blame yourself but it's not. It's just like Snape said, if you believe that since Snape didn't know what would happen to your parents-"

"What! How much did you hear?" Harry all but shouted, trying to rip away from his godfather's tight hold.

"A bit," was his only reply.

Harry saw the scene again, Snape starting to talk after Harry asked if he had ever done something he regretted but that wasn't really his fault. He had a look on his face that the young man now completely understood. It wasn't just that he wasn't happy with sharing his emotions with Harry, he was going to be sharing them with one of the people he hated. But he did, so that Harry would understand just how irrational he was being.

"If you believe what you told Snape, then you should not feel guilty about anything that happened at the Department of - " Harry flinched. "At the ministry. Harry, I am fine! I'm alive, which is more than you can say about what Snape feels guilty about. So, if you really believe that Snape shouldn't feel guilty about the mistake that he made, then you shouldn't feel guilty about what happened with me."

"But you blame him," Harry all but whispered. It tore at his heart that both men were saying the situations were the same and Sirius still blamed Snape for what happened to his best friend.

The surprise of Harry's statement made Sirius' hands fall from his face. Closing his eyes, Harry just wished he could disappear. He never meant to say it, but the memory of his godfather shouting the truth of what happened to lead Voldemort to his family was pushed into the forefront of his mind.

"Harry-" He paused, as if he didn't know what to say. As if he couldn't say that he didn't blame the man. If he blamed Snape, he had to blame Harry.

"Sirius, it's okay. I understand. I would blame me if it were me. I led you to your death, what else could you do?"

"Harry, no! I don't blame you!"

Harry really wished he could stand. "But you blame him!" He pointed at the door to Snape's office. "You both say that these are the same situations and yet you blame him! If you blame him, then you're saying you blame me!"

"But, it's not the same."

"Exactly."

Harry sighed. That was his point. Everything he was trying to tell Snape, and now Sirius, the man just admitted. The two situations were different.

Sirius seemed angry with himself. "Harry, listen to me, don't interrupt," he said, holding up a hand when the teen was going to start talking again. "Okay, yes, the two situations are a little different. I'm alive! I'm here and everything is going to be all right." His voice dropped. "Lily and James aren't here anymore. What happened with Snape meant that your parents are gone forever." Harry's heart contracted for the man. He knew he was listening. "We always suspected that Snape had feelings for Lily, though it was never confirmed. It's part of what made James hate him so much, he thought he was taking Lily from him." The irony of that statement was not lost on Harry.

"But you still blame him." It wasn't a question; it was a statement of fact. He could see the truth in Sirius' eyes before he ever answered.

"It is hard for me not to," he agreed. "We've had such a history, Snape and I. It makes forgiving Snape for something that led to my best friend and his wife's deaths, leaving you alone, very difficult to do. Though," he amended when Harry looked ready to argue. "I do admit that I don't blame him as much as I used to. Maybe in time I will be able to 'forgive and forget', but not yet, Harry. I will try to see the man as you do, but you realize that it will take time. We have hated each other for almost twenty five years. That's not something that is going to go away in a few weeks. You understand, right?"

Harry nodded. "I know. But I don't blame him, Sirius. I blame Pettigrew and Voldemort. That's where the blame should lie. I don't blame Snape for telling Voldemort about that part of the prophecy any more than I blame you for changing Secret Keepers with Pettigrew." When he saw Sirius look away, he realized there was a lot blame that people were shouldering that they shouldn't. "It's not your fault, Sirius."

His godfather gave him a smile that sent chills down his spine. "Thank you, Harry. But it is."

Remembering his wand for the first time, he took it out and unstuck himself from the chair, standing. "Do you think my parents would blame you? Would they blame you for trying to do something that you thought would keep Voldemort from ever finding them? You didn't know it was Pettigrew that was the spy. How could you? You all were best friends!" Harry reached out and gave Sirius a hug. He soon felt the tears that Sirius had been trying to hold back fall. Something in Harry seemed to heal. The two men had been right all along. It wasn't Harry's fault. He didn't know that Voldemort was trying to get him to the Department of Mysteries. He didn't know that, in going, it would lead to Sirius leaving Headquarters and coming with the rest of the Order to find him.

It wasn't his fault.

Pulling away from his godfather, who quickly wiped at his face, Harry smiled. "It's no more your fault with what happened to my parents than it is my fault with what happened with you. We are all blaming ourselves for things that we had no control over. Things that, if we could go back, we would do differently. But we can't," he was as much speaking to his professor as he was to his godfather at that moment. "We all need to realize that things are the way they are and there's nothing we can do to change them. The people that you feel guilty about would not blame you." Harry took his father out of the equation for Snape, he figured his dad would definitely blame the man, but he wouldn't say that out loud. "We just need to move on with our lives. We can now."

Sirius smiled slightly. "You are one special kid. How did you get to be so wise?"

Harry laughed. "Potions class. I needed to do something other than fall asleep, so I decided to brush up on my philosophy."

That made Sirius laugh. Harry suddenly heard, I heard that, Potter, in his mind. So, his suspicions were correct.

I figured you'd be eavesdropping. He couldn't find it in himself right now to be angry with the man.

I didn't listen to everything, he said, trying to make it sound better than it was. Though there were things I couldn't help but hear. Harry heard the shouting in Snape's mind, and knew what he meant.

You know I was talking to you too, right? Harry asked, thinking about what he just told Sirius.

He didn't hear anything for a while, and thought the man wasn't going to answer.

"You're too funny, kiddo," Sirius said, finally catching his breath after Harry's joke.

The door opened to the office and Snape stepped out. "I am assuming you are done talking, now?"

Harry vaguely heard Sirius answer that they were, but he was more focused on Snape. The obsidian eyes locked onto his and they looked at each other a while. Harry wasn't sure what the man was thinking, but decided to wait to see what he would do.

You are more like your mother than you will ever know.

Harry smiled. After so many years of Snape insulting him, comparing him to his father – or the man that Snape knew – it was nice to hear him say that he was like his mother. No one had ever said anything negative about his mum, and the fact that Snape had loved her made his comment all the more meaningful.

It was then that Harry saw a vision in Snape's mind that he knew the man didn't mean for him to see. It was Lily and him standing next to each other, her holding a bundle in her arms, Snape smiling the proud smile of a father. As quickly as the image came, it left, leaving Harry almost breathless with the yearning he felt. He knew it wasn't his emotion, but Snape's.

"Well, I've had my say, I'll leave you two to finish up your talk. I'll see you later, Harry?" Sirius asked, obviously aware something was going on.

Harry nodded, his eyes now averted. He felt almost guilty at witnessing one of Snape's most desperate desires. He saw the mirror in his mind's eye and realized what Snape would see if he looked into it. It made Snape's treatment of him have two connotations. Harry was more than a reminder of how his father had treated the Slytherin all those years ago, he was a reminder of a life that Snape could have had with his mother. Harry was a constant reminder that Lily chose James over him.

Maybe he would pretend that he never even thought about that and they could just forget Harry saw it and forget it ever happened.

He heard the door close and knew he and the man were the only ones in the room. Maybe Harry could get them on a different topic and they could push the, slightly, embarrassing one away. Searching for a topic took too long, however.

You saw.

Harry hesitated, looking at the man. Yeah.

He heard a mental sigh. You were not supposed to see that. I apologize.

No, don't. It's fine. I understand, really. He knew Snape loved his mother and he hated his father. He wanted everything his father had, and could never be. I'm sorry it didn't work out between you two, he said as the man turned around to face the rest of the classroom.

A scoff was the first of Snape's reply. You have nothing to be sorry for. If it had worked out, you would not be here right now, now would you, Potter? Harry was about to say something about his name, but Snape continued before he could. It was my fault things went as they did. Your mother tried to continue to be my friend, to try to push me in the right direction, but I made my choice, so she made hers. He felt Snape's hesitation before he said, Your father was on the right side. He eventually grew up and became a man worthy of her.

Harry heard the unspoken words that he wasn't good enough for her. Thinking of what Snape didn't want, or couldn't, say, Harry felt he had to speak up. I don't think she would agree with you. At least, not now.

"Professor," Harry said aloud, trying to get the man to turn around. "As you said before, it wasn't my fault about Sirius. You made me see that. I wish you could see that it's not your fault about my parents. It could have been either Neville or myself that he chose. It just so happened that he decided on me. That wasn't your fault. I'm sure you tried to get Voldemort to not make that choice, but you had no control over it. I know it's hard to stop blaming yourself for something you feel responsible for. I think we can both agree I have a lot of experience with that," Harry said with a laugh. "It's just going to take time."

Snape finally turned around, but the look in his eyes was not what Harry was hoping for. "You heard your godfather. The two situations are different. Yes, your godfather was lost because of your actions, but he came back. She will never come back."

Harry knew it was a losing battle, trying to get the man to stop feeling guilty about what happened. Someday, maybe, he would be able to move past it, but the day was not today. "Well, I still don't blame you. And that should be what matters." Harry smiled a little. "I just wanted to come and apologize for my behavior earlier. I don't blame you for Sirius, either. I don't think I ever did."

Snape held Harry's gaze for a while before nodding.

"I'll see you later, professor." Harry turned to leave the man to his thoughts. He surely had a lot of things to think about.

"Goodbye, Harry."

Harry turned to smile at the professor before leaving. Things were starting to get back on track.