A/N: Hey guys, thank you so much for reading SoL and specially for reviewing it; it simply makes my day. I'm really glad there are people who still read it even after such a long hiatus. Well, I really liked writing this chap and I hope you guys like it too. Also, thanks to my wonderful beta, Kerrie, for editing it. Please, review and let me know what you think.

Chap 25

Rory opened the door to her apartment to find Jess sitting on the couch while dressed up in jeans and a button down dark green shirt.

"I'm sorry I'm late but I couldn't leave earlier. The office was a mess and they needed me," she apologized, rushing to their room.

Jess smiled and shrugged with one shoulder. "It's fine, they won't mind," he assured her as he watched her walk around, trying to decide what clothes to put on.

"What do you think I should wear?" she asked him, looking over her shoulder to the living room.

"I don't know. Anything that makes you feel comfortable."

She scoffed. "Is jeans and a sweater okay?"

"I think so. You could even go in a sweatshirt and a pair of sneakers if you wanted and it would still be fine."

"Okay, now you're exaggerating."

"Am not," he replied simply and honestly.

"Fine, whatever," she rolled her eyes, knowing he was serious. "Let's go. I hate to wait for people and I hate to make other people wait for me," she said, grabbing her purse on her way to the door.

He quickly got to the door and opened it for her like a gentleman. She frowned in surprise but couldn't help the smile that came to her face after. He smiled back, happy to finally do something right.

They walked down the street and hailed a cab. Again he opened the door for her and offered her a hand to get in the car. She looked at him almost suspiciously, but accepted his charming actions. When they got to the restaurant, he insisted on paying the fare and opened the door for her once again.

They walked up to the blonde, slim, and curvy hostess of the restaurant and Jess circled Rory's waist with his arm, pulling her close. "Reservation for four under 'Mariano.' Our friends have probably arrived already."

The woman in front of him looked him up and down before finally directing her attention to the list of reservations, completely ignoring Rory. "Yes, of course. I'll show you to your table, if you'd please follow me," she said politely but coldly, walking them to one of the tables on the deck.

As soon as she started walking, Rory held Jess's arm, keeping him next to her and way behind the hostess as they walked much slower. Rory unashamedly check the other woman out from head to toe before turning to Jess. "Have you slept with her?"

Jess frowned before looking at her incredulously. "Where did that come from?"

She shrugged. "The way she looked at you." She knew it sounded lame, but she could swear the other woman was undressing Jess with her eyes.

He rolled his eyes. "No, I haven't slept with her."

"Are you sure?"

Now it was his turn to check the hostess out, looking unimpressed. "Pretty sure," he answered and turned his head to look Rory in the eye. "You know, I haven't slept with every woman in the city."

She scoffed, half chuckling. "Yeah, I know. You haven't slept with Paris or the lesbian woman from my office—I think. That's at least two."

"That was uncalled for," he accused, tired of her snappy remarks.

She sighed. "Yeah, you're right… Sorry."

They arrived at their table and—as suspected—Matt and Miranda were already waiting for them. He pulled the chair out for Rory before seating himself next to her. The hostess handed them a menu each and blankly offered, "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you—" she said until she smirked conspiratorially and turned to him before continuing, "…Jess."

A moment later she was gone and Rory was beyond furious. She turned to him, angrily accusing, "You said you hadn't."

"I didn't think I had!" he threw his hands up in defense. "I swear I don't remember her!"

"Oh, yeah, 'cause that makes it so much better. You've slept around so much that you can't even remember whom you've fucked anymore. That really makes me feel better," she tried to whisper so the other patrons wouldn't hear, but did not bother to hide it from Matt and Miranda.

"I'm sorry, okay? I've already said it! You know I'm sorry!"

"I can't even go to a restaurant with you without running into someone you've slept with," she sighed. "I don't even know why I still care. I mean, I should already be used to it by now, right?"

Jess rested his elbows on the table and put his head on his hands, closing his eyes. "Don't do this. Please, don't do this."

"Don't do what?" she asked in a harsh tone.

"Don't start a fight," he pleaded.

She shook her head. "It's not like I want to start a fight, but come on! Were you here two minutes ago when that happened?"

Jess looked at her and opened his mouth to say something, then he closed it and opened it again but no words came out.

Finally a sweet voice filled the silence. "Baby, why don't you and Jess go to the bar to get us girls some drinks?" Miranda suggested before they could start fighting again.

Matt quickly stood up, sighing, feeling tired just from watching them. "Let's go, man. You heard Miranda. The ladies need drinks."

As soon as the guys had left and were out of earshot, Rory turned to Miranda. "I'm so sorry you had to see that. This is supposed to be your celebration; I'm sorry I ruined it."

Miranda smiled and put her hand over the one Rory had resting on the table. "You didn't ruin anything. Don't worry about that. I'm just sorry we chose this restaurant."

Rory scoffed. "I don't think it would have mattered what restaurant you had chosen."

"I'm sorry about how things are going between the two of you."

Rory shook her head. "It's not your fault. I'm just really tired of going to bed knowing my boyfriend is somewhere in the city fucking some other woman. And apparently, I have to be okay with that."

"Of course you don't have to be okay with that. Jess knows it and you know it." She paused. "It's just that—I don't know… I think he just doesn't know how to fix this mess he made."

Rory looked into Miranda's eyes. "He knows. It's very simple: he just has to quit his job."

The other woman looked down, choosing her next words carefully. "I understand what you mean and I completely agree with you. Seriously, I don't know what I'd have done if I were in your position," she paused. "But the thing is… I have known Jess long enough to know how his mind works and he won't stop until he thinks he has enough to do it by himself. But he cares for you—a lot. That's obvious. And believe me, he is in his own very personal hell for making you feel this way. He probably feels more guilt than you could ever imagine."

"You know, sometimes I just don't know anymore…"

"Trust me… I know."

Rory nodded silently and looked towards the bar. "Do you think it'll take them the whole night just to get us some drinks?"

Miranda chuckled. "Nah… They're just giving us time to have some girl talk. Jess and Matt are probably having some guy talk too, though they would never admit it."

Rory smiled. "Thanks for listening. I know you didn't have to and we don't know each other that well. So… just thanks."

Miranda smiled and waved a hand dismissing it. "No need to thank me—it was nothing. I bet you don't have many people to talk to about it and since I already know Jess and everything… well, you can always call me or we can meet for coffee if you want to talk about anything. I think I would go crazy if I had to keep it all inside."

"Thank you, really," Rory said gratefully. Then she looked down at the tablecloth and started picking on a random spot for a couple of moments. Miranda just watched, knowing Rory would talk when she was ready. "Um… can I ask you something?"

Miranda nodded. "Sure."

"You and Matt look good together. How did you two meet?"

"Actually, it was through Jess. Jess and I used to work together."

Rory's eyes got huge. "Oh."

Miranda suddenly realized how it sounded and started laughing and waving a hand in a dismissive way. "Oh, no, nothing like that. Before Jess started working… doing what he does… he used to work in a coffee shop and I used to be a waitress there." She paused, remembering. "Matt would come by every now and then to see Jess but after Jess quit he still kept coming. It took months but eventually he got the guts to ask me out and the rest is history."

Rory smiled. "Really? I always thought Matt was the Don Juan type—seducing them all."

Miranda had to laugh again. "Who? Matt? Are you kidding me? Jess pretty literally pushed him to talk to me. If it weren't for Jess, Matt would have probably kept going to the café without saying a word until I quit and we would never have seen each other again."

Rory nodded and played with her napkin, folding and unfolding it. "So, you and Jess are close, too?"

Miranda smiled sadly, understanding the insecurities that must go through Rory every time she heard a sentence with both Jess's and another woman's name in it. "We get along well. He is kind of anti-social and it didn't help him much in the café, but he was very professional; always did what was asked of him but never with a smile on his face. Anyway, I used to be really shy and I think that's why we got along. I was never the cheery shallow type and he liked that I wasn't like some of the other girls in the café who were all over him. It was something between funny and ridiculous the way he would turn them down as if they were stupid little girl—which they were—and still they would come back."

"It doesn't sound too different from his clients; at least the part about them coming back," Rory commented bitterly.

"I wouldn't know," Miranda answered, not sure of what to say.

"Oh, sorry. I shouldn't have said that. Lately it seems I'm just saying whatever comes to my mind without thinking it over first."

"It's fine with me. But maybe it wouldn't be so 'fine' with some other people."

"Meaning Jess?"

"I mean people in general, but yeah, him too."

Rory looked out of the window. "You know, I used to be so careful with everything I said. I was always so worried about what he would think of me."

"And now you don't worry anymore?"

"I guess I just don't care as much anymore."

The table fell silent until the guys arrived with drinks a few moments later and the rest of the dinner was spent in brief times of small conversation with much awkward silence.

It was Friday night, a little over a week after their disastrous double date, and Rory was in line to pay for her groceries. She shifted her weight from one foot to another, exhausted from having to wear high heels the whole day.

Of course, she could have dropped by the apartment that was only a block away, but then she would have probably bumped into Jess and every Friday night it was already an unspoken rule for her to arrive late; after all, he always had work on Fridays. The other days of the week were already bad enough, never knowing if he was going to work that night or not—and sometimes getting home just to bump into him on his way out. But to go home knowing that she would have to watch him leave… that was just masochistic.

She rode the elevator, holding the two large paper bags on her arms, and tried to open the door without letting anything drop. Suddenly the door opened by itself and Rory almost screamed in surprise, just stopping herself in the last moment when she saw it was Jess holding the door for her.

She walked in, looking at him suspiciously, and dropped the bags on the kitchen counter before walking back to the living room. When she took the first step into the room, she could already see all the changes. The light was dim, coming only from a couple of stylish lamps very well positioned, and Jess had rearranged the furniture to have only the coffee table sit in the middle of the room with cushions all around it. She recognized the soft sound in the background as one of her favorite songs by Coldplay and the smell of Indian food made her mouth water. She looked at the doorframe that led to the hallway to find Jess leaning against it, watching her in such an intense way that it made her feel like he could see right through her. It took her a moment but she finally found her voice.

"It's Friday. You aren't supposed to be home."

He looked around at the apartment and then at her, shrugging. "I'm always supposed to be here."

She didn't know what to say to that so she didn't say anything, just looked around in awe.

"I bought us Indian food," he told her in a soft tone that sounded like he was telling her a secret no one else should know.

"You never let me buy Indian food," she half-accused, puzzled.

"I strongly advise you not to," he countered.

"You hate Indian food," she affirmed.

"I do," he agreed.

"You always say it smells so bad we would have to burn down the apartment the next day."

"And we will have to burn it down tomorrow," he stated. "But tonight we are eating your food, drinking your favorite wine, listening to your favorite band and then making love in whatever way you want." He smiled in a devilish way at her before adding, "And I mean it, baby."

She smiled, with watery eyes. "Why all this now?"

He sighed and kissed her forehead. "Because I really need to see you smile again."

And those words brought a genuine smile to her face. "If it's all about what I want, then let's start with the sex, then go to the food with the wine while we listen to the music."

He grabbed her by the thighs, pulling her up so she could wrap her legs his waist and her arms around his neck. "Where do you want?"

"Bedroom?" she suggested.

He smiled, already walking towards the bedroom and bringing his lips to hers. "Whatever you want, boss."

As soon as he finished the sentence she pushed him away hard, her haunted eyes staring into his. "Don't ever say that word to me again," she ordered in a hurt tone.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" he tried to start explaining but he knew it would just make things worse and in truth she only needed to hear one thing: "I won't."

She let go, ready to get away from him, but he just held her tighter and nuzzled her neck. "I swear I'll never say anything like that again. Please, give me another chance to make it up to you tonight. I really, really want you."

Hearing his voice hoarse from want, she pressed her forehead against his shoulder, taking in his scent. "I want you, too."

He smirked and kissed her neck and his way up to the back of her ear. "Can we go to the bedroom or do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Bedroom is fine."

He walked them into the room and to their bed. He undressed himself quickly and laid down next to her clothed body, running his fingers against the opening of her blouse. "Can I take it off?"

She nodded quietly and he slowly undid the five buttons one by one from top to bottom. Her breathing was already slightly labored and he had barely touched her chest. He ran his fingers from her ribs to her hips. "And this?" he asked, motioning to her skirt.

"Yeah," she answered in a choked voice.

He grinned at the effect he still had on her. He undid the zipper that stood on the side and slipped the offending piece down her legs, licking his lips. "What do you want?" he asked in a very soft voice.

She frowned slightly but kept her good mood and relaxed attitude. "Why do you always ask me that?"

He shrugged with one shoulder and rested his weight on the other, towering over her. "I want to please you. I want to make you feel good and happy."

"I want to make you feel that too, so why should I always choose?" she countered.

"You never choose!" he playfully accused. "You always want to be an equal and let me do whatever I want, even if it's just the basics."

"Um… yeah, I know it's always pretty much the same, and I know that I'm not—"

"Fuck, Rory! I'm not criticizing! I'm just asking you to trust me!" he pleaded, trying to make her understand. "I want you to know that it's just you and me here and that nothing is 'wrong' and that you can trust me; that whatever happens here, stays here if that's what you want. But please, let go and just be with me, okay?"

She flushed bright red. "I—I—"

"Don't be embarrassed, baby," he said as if reading her mind. "I've told you, nothing is wrong. I'll never laugh at you. You can say and do whatever you want."

"I don't know how to say it," she confessed and he smiled. She was finally coming out of her cocoon.

"Than don't say it. Let your body do the talking," he suggested. She looked at him puzzled, not understanding how she could do that.

He looked into her eyes, holding her gaze, and took her hand to bring her to her knees. Without saying a word, he undid her bra and took it off, holding her gaze the whole time. Lowering his head, he took her right nipple into his mouth and then her right hand, leading it to rest at the back of his head so she could take control of his ministrations. When she touched his head, understanding the meaning behind his gesture, she moaned and ran her fingers through his hair before leading his head to her other breast. He obeyed, trying to please her as much as he could with his mouth, encouraging her to keep going.

After a few minutes she brought his head up to kiss him passionately, in a way he couldn't remember her ever doing before. They broke apart and she took a deep breath. He knew what he was about to do could very well break the spell, but it just might as well help them through the night. In his lowest voice he asked softly, "Do you mind if I talk?"

She looked at him, kneeling on the bed just like her, and smiled before shaking her head.

He smiled back and tugged at her panties. "Can I take these off?"

She looked coyly at him and nodded.

"Do you want to talk?"

Her smile faded a little as if he was actually ordering her to do it and shook her head again.

He touched the side of her face softly, trying to reassure her. "It's okay, you don't have to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. I just thought I would ask, okay?"

She nodded slowly, her smile coming back.

"Take the lead; show me what to do, okay? Otherwise I won't know."

She pondered his words and pressed her lips together, looking intensely at his hand. Finally she took his hand and tugged it down even though they were on the same level.

He looked at her puzzled, "Do you want me to lie down?"

She nodded and he did as she had silently asked. He waited for her and a minute later she straddled his chest, giving him the idea of what she wanted. She looked down at him, biting on her lower lip. He knew he had to encourage her, so he took one of her hands in his and brought it to his lips, kissing her palm and nodding his head to show he understood. "It's okay, just do what you want. Nothing is wrong, remember?"

She didn't answer, just kept her eyes on his face, watching for any kind of disapproval as she moved her body up and towards his mouth. He held her eyes and rested his hands on her hips, guiding her and as soon as she was close enough he licked her from bottom to top delving in deep. She moaned loudly, letting her head fall forward. He pulled her closer and started working on her, paying attention to her clit and all the things he had learned about her body. It didn't take long before he felt her legs start trembling and started really devouring her. The noise she made made him feel some weird kind of pride. When she stopped shaking, she rolled to his side exhausted but with a huge silly smile on her face.

He took her into his arms and kissed her neck, whispering into it, "It feels damn good to know that I'm the one who put that smile on your face."

She chuckled and ruffled his hair, biting his shoulder playfully. She slid her hand down between their bodies, taking him in her hands and stroking him tightly, making Jess groan in response.

"Ready for round two, I see."

She smiled mischievously at him and nodded her head with fake coyness.

"You know what you have to do," he said, offering her his hand.

This time she took it without hesitance and got to her knees, pulling him with her. She kissed his chest and the juncture between his neck and shoulder before sighing and turning her back to him to face the mirror that stood in the corner next to the window, facing the whole room if you looked in the right angle. She turned her head and looked back at him, biting her bottom lip, her usual nervous habit, and offered him her hand, watching his intently.

He quickly took her hand in his and moved towards her, asking in a low voice, to make sure he got the right idea, "Behind you?"

She nodded shyly.

He nodded and ran his hand down her belly and to her pussy, touching her. "Here?"

She looked at him carefully, not sure if he was asking a question or permission for something else. She nodded.

He smiled and nipped her neck, "Good, you're thinking about yourself and what you want. That's my girl."

She pouted, a little put off, but another nip from him and it was all forgotten.

He got closer, adjusting himself between her legs until their whole bodies were touching and they could see themselves in the mirror. She turned her head and kissed him slowly, breaking the kiss to turn ahead and touch him from thigh to hip.

He knew it was her way of saying she was ready, but in case of doubt, he was extra slow in pressing himself against her and holding her hip, giving her more than enough time to stop him if that was what she wanted. When she didn't, he started thrusting into her slowly, kissing and licking her neck, shoulders and anywhere he could get his mouth on, while she moaned and groaned. When he looked up a while later he was surprised to see probably the most erotic thing in his life: Rory was arched against him, her head thrown back on his shoulder, one hand holding his hip as the other played with one of her breasts. He groaned loudly and thrust harder into her, making her moan louder in return.

He picked up his tempo as he ran his hands over her body, touching every inch while his eyes drank her in. She noticed his rhythmic thrust and brought her head back up to look at him in the mirror.

They stared at themselves in the mirror, watching each other's face and reactions more than anything else. He stood behind her, thrusting into her, but she was the one most in display. He brought his lips to her ear to whisper into it while his eyes held hers in the mirror. "If you want me to do something, show me. This is the moment," he encouraged her.

She swallowed and took his left hand that was holding her side to her left breast, squeezing it slightly and he began to massage it. "Okay," he said in understanding. She then took his right hand that held her hip in place and he had to protest quietly, trying to be as gentle as possible. "Rory, I can't. I need to hold your hip or I won't be able to thrust into you this hard or with this tempo; it wouldn't be as good for you or for me," he explained but she shook her head tugging his hand harder. He reminded himself that she was the one running the show and that he had explained to her why he needed to hold her hip, but if she still didn't want it there… well, then it wouldn't be there."

What he didn't expect was for her to lead his hand from its place on her hipbone to the left and down, taking two of his fingers and pressing them against her clit, showing him what she wanted him to do. He caught his breath in his throat and rested his forehead against her nape before kissing it and meeting her insecure eyes on the mirror again. "God, you're amazing."

She started grinning again, but soon she started moaning as he started to play with her most sensitive spots while fucking her as hard as he could. "Fuck, Rory," he bit her shoulder, "I missed you so much, baby. So much."

But she didn't answer, just arched her back, taking him deeper. "Oh, fuck, Rory. I can't take it anymore, baby, I need to—" he asked in a broken voice. She understood and nodded her head, contracting around him, but he didn't want to leave her unsatisfied, so he started working with his hands twice as fast and brought his mouth down to a special spot on one of her shoulder blades that for a completely unknown reason had an incredible affect on her. She gasped and groaned as soon as he started sucking and biting on the skin there, coming hard and falling forwards, making him fall on top of her as he kept thrusting hard into her a few more times before coming.

They stayed still and in silence for a few moments before he took her into his arms, kissing her deeply and laying half on top of her. "Now, is it okay to talk?" he asked out of breath.

She smiled shyly, "I suppose."

"Now, tell me if that wasn't completely mind blowing!"

She pouted. "You said we wouldn't have to talk about it."

He looked at the sheets berating himself even though he was excited and couldn't understand why she wouldn't even comment on it. "Sorry, you're right."

At the puppy look he unknowingly gave her, she chuckled and ran a hand down his face. "Yeah, it was extremely mind blowing."

He beamed at her confession with a weird sense of accomplishment. "You know, I'm so proud of you, of how you acted tonight, going after what you wanted. And I'm proud of us. I mean, I guess I changed you in some ways and of course you changed me. And I know it fucking sucks to be with me sometimes but I think somehow we're good for each other, you know? We are good together."

She touched his cheek adoringly. "Yeah, I know," she said, letting her eyes slide close.

A few hours later she tried to turn around on the bed just to collide with a hard, warm body. She ran her fingers up and down his arm, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

"Jess," she called quietly. He just pressed his face further into the pillow.

"Jess, are you awake?"

He sighed but didn't open his eyes. "If I say no can I go back to sleep?"

She remained quiet for a moment. "Yeah, sure, go back to sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

The tone of her voice told him that if he didn't wake up and talk to her then, she would lose her nerve to talk about whatever it was by tomorrow. So, he turned in bed and groaned, stretching. "I'm awake."

"It's nothing important," she assured him. "You can go back to sleep."

He gave her a knowing smile that told her not to try to lie to him. "What is it?"

She shrugged, picking on the hem of the sheets, "I just thought we could talk about our relationship…"

He raised his brows, saying the words she was trying to avoid: "Discuss the relationship?"

Again she shrugged. "Well, yeah, I guess that's a way to see it…"

Jess chuckled and brought her closer, so she could lay her head on his chest, sprawling her hair on it. "Okay, and what is on your mind?"

"I don't know. It's not like I was planning on this discussion or anything…"

"Just tell me what is bothering you, Rory."

She took a deep breath and looked up at him, before looking down at his chest. "What do you see in our future?" she asked suddenly.

"Huh?" he questioned.

"In our future—or your future. What do you imagine will happen? How will your life be in ten years? What do you want to happen?"

"Where is this coming from?"

She shrugged. "I just felt like I should ask. I'm not asking for forever, you know? But if I'm gambling with my heart, then I think I deserve to know what the stakes are."

He stroked her hair and gave her a small smile, watching her. "Yeah, you do," he agreed. "But I can't make you promises that I don't know I can keep. I've never felt for anybody what I feel for you and you are what makes my life bearable right now. But I can't tell you that we'll be together in ten years, especially because I don't know if you'll want me by then."

"What if you are the one who doesn't want me anymore? What if you change your mind in a few months?"

He half scoffed, half chuckled. "I'm pretty sure it's safe to say I'll want you for a long, long time."

"And how do you know that?"

He shrugged with one shoulder. "You make me feel happy in a way I've never thought possible. I have this urge all the time to just come home, because I feel like this is actually home, just because you're here. I love the sex, I mean, I'm really crazy about it; it's mind blowing. And still, it's not all that matters. I know this sounds crazy, but eating Chinese food out of boxes while sitting on the floor with a glass of wine with you is almost as intimate as making love to you. And I can see myself doing that with you for the next ten, fifteen, and twenty years."

She gave him a sad smile because she knew his next word. "But…"

"But I don't know if you can wait for me to stop working. I know I say I'll stop soon, and I will, but I don't know if it'll be soon enough for you."

She looked down, drawing abstract figures on his chest with the tip of her fingers. "Sometimes I wonder what you'd choose if I told you it was either me or your job," she confessed in a small voice.

She looked up at his face as he stroked her hair, trying to avoid her eyes.

"But I've never asked because I was always too afraid of the answer," she went on, looking back down.

He paused with his hand mid-air for a second before continuing with his gentle touch.

"You know, sometimes I think I should just ask. I know it could very well break my heart, but this is already breaking my heart, you know?" she said, trying to put logic in her feelings, and then looked up at him again. "What do you think?"

He looked down at her, seeing the agony in her face and sighed. "I think… I think it's time for you to go back to sleep." She nodded quietly, watching him as he finished his sentence, still stroking her hair. "And for me to spend the rest of the night awake, hating myself."