Ari nodded, thoughtfully. She was working on getting a new
spellchecker, but her dialup Internet meant that would be quite a
long wait, if it would ever grant her the gift of a spellchecker. (13
hours and it canceled itself after 3.)
"Come on, Ari, while
you're waiting for that spellchecker, let's just go ahead and do the
next Whose Line." Hiei frowned.
"Okay." Ari nodded.
"Hello everyone, and welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway,
our cast today is..." Ari started.
"Loves Ari's tofu
block pet named Larry... Yusuke Urameshi!" Yusuke glared at her.
"What...? Everyone else was doin' it...! Kazuma Kuwabara."
Kuwabara waved.
"No matter how you see it, sausage is NOT
the food of the gods... Shuichi "Kurama" Minamino!"
Kurama smiled, waving at everyone.
"If you don't get caught,
everything is legal!...Hiei Jaganshi!" Hiei crossed his arms.
"I'm your host Ariana Miyuki, and how this game works is I
read these cards, and they act stuff up randomly! Yay!" Ari
clapped, being her usually vibrant self. "Okay. I then assign
points when I remember that I'm supposed to. The points do nothing at
all, so I often forget. I don't even usually have a winner anymore.
But this time I will. And a hoedown. Anyway, the points do nothing,
like getting 2nd place on America's Funniest Home Videos." Ari
nodded. "You don't win, so you go home with nothing. First game
up is a BRAND NEW one, called Quiz Show. For everyone."
"How
do you play this one, Ari?" Kurama asked, going onstage.
"Easy.
"Ari nodded, sitting back in her chair. "Kurama, you host.
You ask them questions based on whatever quiz show we choose. And
then they call out 'answers' to your questions. Simple. We need a
name for the Quiz Show."
"Rando-Quizo?" Someone
called.
"Whose Fart Is This?" A girl laughed.
"What
Accent Am I?" Another person shouted.
"What Accent Am
I!" Ari called out. "Okay.. go."
"Hello, everyone, and welcome to What Accent Am I?, the guests
today are..." Kurama gestured to Hiei to speak.
"...Southern
Comfort from Mississippi..." (Miss'ipi... Who DOESN'T pronounce
it that way?) Hiei drawled, wincing painfully.
"Brian East,
from California, dude." Yusuke grinned, doing gang signs. "Rock
out!"
"Randy Smith..." Kuwabara sniffed loudly,
pushing up invisible glasses, talking in his nasally accent.
"Excellent. Today, our first accent is this..." Kurama
read it from the 'paper'. "I don't got no reason, cuz..."
Yusuke 'buzzed'. "Like... purple, bro."
"That
is correct. Purple IS the answer. That puts Mr. East in the lead..."
Kurama nodded.
"Dude, Mr. East is my father." Yusuke
shook his head, interrupting. "Call me Brian."
"Brian
is in the lead. Next question." Kurama read out, "Which
accent is this word from? Wanker."
Kuwabara hit it, saying
proudly, "Obviously Chinese."
"That is correct."
Kurama nodded. "Chinese was the answer. Next question. Lightning
round. The word, or phrase is, Toad-In-The-Hole. Which accent?"
"CHEESE!!!" Hiei slurred, smacking an invisible buzzer.
"Hmm. I don't know about that one. Let's ask our judges."
Kurama turned to Ari.
"...Cheese. The correct answer was
Provolone... Let's go ahead and give him that one." Ari nodded.
"Okay. Next question. Name a famous accent." Kurama
looked up. Kuwabara hit it.
"Buenos noches!" Kuwabara
cried.
"Excellent. And extra points for saying it in Latin."
Kurama nodded. "Randy is our winner of today's episode of What
Accent Am I! Check in for our next episode!"
Ari buzzed them out. "Excellent. Lots of points to Hiei, for
CHEESE. 100 points to Kuwabara for his obviously Chinese. Next game
is Scenes from a Hat. First scene is... What Yusuke and Kayko do
when they're alone."
Kuwabara motioned Kurama up.
They
looked left, and then right. "We're alone." Kuwabara
nodded.
"You ready?" Kurama asked. Kuwabara nodded
again. Kurama mockslapped him.
Ari buzzed them out.
They went
back to their seats, and there was silence.
"Okay... Next
slip." Ari drew another one. "Bad Choices To Make When A
Genie Grants You Three Wishes..."
"I want a puppy!"
Yusuke clapped his hands. "And a kitty, and a horse!"
"I
want a harem of women!" Kuwabara clapped his hands.
Hiei
immediately stepped up behind Kuwabara, "And now I wish Kuwabara
was gay."
"That's cold, Hiei." Kuwabara glared at him. Ari
buzzed them out.
"Next slip, Strange 800 numbers." Ari
read.
"1-800-180-0180?" Yusuke blinked. ("1800 1800
180.")
"1-800-UGL-OMPD." Kuwabara blinked at it. ("U
GLOMPD")
"1-800-URP-WNED." Kurama said, thoughtfully. ("U
R PWNED!")
"1-800-j00-RDED." Hiei grinned. ("J00 R DED."
"You are dead.")
"Next slip," Ari pulled out another one.
"Things you don't think to hear from Yusuke."
"So,
then, when I was playing tennis, I totally spazzed on the backhand.
It was like, all over the place." Kurama sighed. Ari buzzed
him.
"Do these pants make my butt look big?" Kuwabara frowned.
"High heels?...or stilettos?" Hiei asked, lifting one, then
the other in the air. Ari laughed.
"Next slip, Questions
that didn't make it onto the IQ test." Ari read.
"If
it was a fight to the death between Chuck Norris and Jet Li, who
would win?" Kuwabara held the paper out, reading it. "Describe
your answer in detail with lots of facts and references."
"Describe
the Universe using the words apple, pink, and sausage." Yusuke
read. Ari buzzed them out.
"Next game is... Secrets. The people are Hiei and Kurama. They are two teenagers, and they are going out to meet some chicks, but Kurama discovers Hiei's hiding a secret somewhere. We arrive about 20 seconds before the secrets discovered... Go."
"So, you ready to hit up the local clubs?" Kurama asked
Hiei.
"I told you the best women were at the park." Hiei
complained, crossing his arms.
"How do you know that?"
Kurama blinked.
"I just do." Hiei frowned, getting
defensive.
Kurama frowned, heading to the car.
"Wait, you
can't...!" Hiei yelled, but Kurama had opened the door. Kurama
gasped, looking down. He reached out and picked something up,
slowly.
"... What do you do with binoculars?" Kurama
asked, suspiciously. "Is THIS how you know where the good women
are?"
Hiei kicked lightly at the ground. "...maybe..."
"This is stalker-...ism..." Kurama frowned. Awkward
word.
"But it works. You see the women I lead us to..."
Hiei said, defensively.
"Yeah, I saw her. Purple hair,
golden eyes, and a total nutcase. Sure, she was kind of pretty, but
she's insane!" Kurama defended.
"Who cares? We're not
out for life!" Hiei said, defensively.
Kurama sighed. "Fine.
To the park."
Hiei got in the car, and Ari buzzed them out.
"Insane, huh?" Ari glared at Kurama. "For that, you
get NO points. Hiei, you don't get any either. Next game. Whose Line.
For Kurama and Yusuke."
They were given their slips, and got
in the center of the stage. "You're walking to school." Ari
nodded. "Okay... go!"
"...so, she looks me square
in the eye, and tells me," Yusuke pulled a slip. "Your
hair's on fire!!!"
"That sucks. You poured your
heart out to her, and she tells you that your hair's on fire."
Kurama smiled. "At least it's better than that time that one
girl told me," He pulled a slip, "I have a corndog field
in my backyard!"
"Wow! I didn't know those were
growable!" Yusuke blinked.
"You know, I didn't know
either." Kurama agreed. "I would love to see that."
"Like
cattails?" Yusuke frowned.
"I'd guess..." Kurama
seemed thoughtful.
"You know, a year or so ago, I was told,"
Yusuke pulled a slip. "Guns don't kill people... it's those
little holes."
Kurama blinked. Then, he rolled with it.
"Yeah, absolutely." He pulled a slip, just to get it over
with. "They say, Two rights don't make a wrong, but three
rights make a left!"
Yusuke turned, then turned, then
turned again. "Wow, that actually works!" He blinked. He
pulled a slip, "Creativity is great, but plagiarism is
faster."
Kurama blinked. "Genius." He turned to
Ari. "Do you have more of these slips?"
"What about
the scene??" Ari blinked.
"What scene?" Yusuke
blinked.
"Oh." Kurama looked down at the slip. "Well,
we're done."
Ari buzzed them out, with a sigh.
"I loved the quotes, but your performance was lacking," She
glared. "Well, next is a hoedown about Pants. Yes.
Pants."
Everyone sweatdropped.
"I will be in it."
Ari looked around. "Kurama, you win today's game." They
switched out.
"Okay. Time to begin the hoedown about Pants."
The cheezy hoedown music started in the background, and everyone
started... hoedowning?... Hiei stepped forward.
"Yes, I wear
pants, I mean, what can I say?
I put them on, and I wear them
every single day.
All my friends wear them, and they look pretty
nice,
Except for Kurama, when the fans give him a kiss,
Just
because they love his special brand of fan service!"
Ari clapped, delighted. Kurama sweatdropped at the fans whistling.
Yusuke stepped forward.
"Yes, I love to wear my pants, they
are so stylish,
I have some in blue colors, and even some with
fish.
The girls, they compliment me, it is really great,
Especially on lonely nights, I lose them around eight..."
Kuwabara shook his head.
"I really love new pants, they're
super duper sweet,
Buying a brand new pair, is a really special
treat!
I'm really careful with my drive for new pants,
I
fight off my latest enemy, who uses a lance,
While trying out the
latest craze, the awesome Inflato-pants!"
Ari smiled, broadly. Her turn! Yay!
"I
don't wear pants often, I prefer a skirt,
Although the kind I
like, renders most boys inert...
Staring really hard, watching me
very often...
But if they get too near... If they get too
close,
My boyfriend whips around, and turns them into toast!"
"That's all for tonight!" Ari took a bow. "Good night!!"
