Dean watches her sleep next to him, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. She's dead to the world, and it's kind of cute the way she sleeps like a rock.

He doesn't know what the hell came over him earlier, but the way she looked when she followed his orders, and the way she looked up at him, all wide, innocent eyes with her mouth on his cock, drove him absolutely insane.

Now he's worried he hurt her, but she didn't complain in the shower, just leaned against him and let him take care of her, giggling on and off as the endorphins worked through her. The trusting way she'd pressed her face into his neck made something in him grow warm and fierce.

He doesn't know if he's ever going to be able to say it to her. Hell, he can barely say it to Sam, and he's been taking care of the kid his whole life. How the hell is he supposed to tell her the sun rises and sets on her? That he'll follow her anywhere she wants to go, even back into hell if the situation really calls for it?

Maybe not beat her up so bad for a start, he thinks to himself guiltily as she shifts in her sleep and winces a little. He knows he was rough, and he was probably too rough, but something in him felt the need to claim her last night. He'll have to keep a lid on it.

She rolls against him, wincing again as she cuddles into him. He wraps an arm around her and holds her close, letting her warmth and softness pressed to him lull him to sleep.

xxxxx

Three days later, when Sam gives you guys the call that he had to put Jody's son down, and Bobby calls to let you know that he shot Karen, you're packing up to hit the road again.

The last three days have been lovely. For a while, there was no hunt, no lives to save. The most important thing for the two of you to be doing was staying by the phone. Which you did.

You also cuddled and slept in, ate breakfast in bed, watched TV, fucked, and he took you to dinner each night somewhere where the food doesn't come wrapped in paper. When you protested that it was too expensive, he just arched an eyebrow at you and said, "Y/N, we steal for a living. Nothing is too expensive."

So for three days, you could pretend to be a normal couple. Just a woman hanging out with her seriously attractive boyfriend.

But the real world calls, so you pack up your stuff without complaint and head to the car, even if you'll think back on these three days forever.

You've been driving for a while before Dean speaks. Your head rests on his thigh, your legs stretched out and your feet propped in the open window. You're damn near asleep when he starts talking.

"What's next, princess?"

"Um…" You think for a second. "The Whore."

He chuckles. "Tell me how you really feel."

You smile up at him. "No, she's a demon. The Whore of Babylon. She's trying to get a whole town of souls to go to hell."

He nods. "Where?"

"Minnesota."

He starts running a hand through your hair, and you're silent for a few minutes before he speaks again. "So, is this all happening like you thought it would?"

You think for a moment, and really consider the question. "Um, some things are the same. Most of the cases, the big stuff is the same."

"What's different?"

"Well, your relationship with Sam is different. Less… Tense, I guess? Of course, we skipped some of the stuff that made it that way."

"Like?" he asks, glancing down at you.

You sigh. You already told them everything, they know what's being skipped, but he wants to talk about it. And if he wants to do that, even though you both know it will hurt him, you'll be there with him. "Well, the episode where you guys die and go to heaven. At least, the time you're allowed to remember heaven."

Dean nods, and you can see the wheels turning, so you try to head them off. "It's probably better that we skipped that, though. I mean, since I already told you about it, there's really no reason to relive it. And Zachariah was in that one, and you already killed him. So no real reason to do that."

He nods. "Yeah."

You glare up at him. "Dean, you can't be mad at Sam for what his heaven is."

"Sure I can," he says easily, "I do it all the time."

You heave a sigh. "Dean, that's not fair."

"Not fair that his best moments are leaving his family, either."

"Dean," you say severely. That catches his attention, and he looks down at you for a moment. "Sam's family died the day your mother died. So did yours. But he was six months old. Family isn't the same thing to him as it is to you. He tried, he was making a family with Jess, but the demon took that away. So, no, you can't be mad at him for that, because his best moments are struggling to understand what you already know. His heaven is searching for himself, for a family, and you already have both of those things."

He's looking out the windshield, his hand stilled in your hair. You sit up and press into him until he wraps his arm around you. You rest your head on his shoulder and wait for him to respond.

"I don't have those things," Dean says finally, "I mean, Sam's my family, and he's always trying to leave. And as far as 'myself,' I don't even know what that fucking means."

"You're a soldier," you start, cuddling into his warmth absentmindedly. "But that's all you see when you look at yourself. You are, of course, but you're more than that. You're a warrior. You're smart, you're a good hunter. You take care of the people you love, like Sam and Bobby. You don't believe in acceptable losses, which is why we're fighting against this whole apocalypse thing, anyway. You're compassionate and you're vehement about family and I've honestly never met a more loving human being than you." You blink away the moisture trying to gather in your eyes and move to press a kiss to his cheek. "You're amazing, Dean, so you just stop right now. Heard?"

He's quiet for a long time, and you're content to rest your head on his shoulder again and start to fade to sleep. Baby always puts you to sleep.

"And you," he says softly.

"Hmm?" You're closer to sleep than you thought you were.

He clears his throat, and when you look at him, he doesn't meet your gaze. "I take care of you, too, princess."

Something in you warms, and you reach up to kiss him on the cheek again. "I know, Dean. I love you, too."

xxxxx

A few hours later, when she wakes up enough to call Castiel, Dean listens to her on the phone with the angel. There's a smile in her voice, there's always a smile in her voice, unless she's talking about herself, of course.

I don't know how to do this. God help him, he doesn't know how to be in a relationship. He doesn't know how to be around someone who's so open and loving and affectionate, and who isn't self-conscious about it. How the hell does she even do that?

When Castiel gave Dean a glimpse into her head, he saw how hard she is on herself. How every move she makes is followed by criticism and scorn, all pouring from her own head. Every thought and emotion and action is the same way.

Except when it comes to loving him.

For some reason, loving him is something she's not hard on herself about. Being with him, yes. Expecting faithfulness, expecting him to love her back, these are things she beats herself up for, but not loving him. Just loving him, she's okay with. Which makes no sense to Dean, because loving him is what's going to get her killed.

But as long as she's okay with it, he's not going to argue. Partially because he's seen how stubborn she can be.

But mostly because he's not sure he could move forward without her.

xxxxx

"Well, I know we need a servant of heaven," you say to Castiel on the phone. "But since Dean's not saying yes, I don't know what we're going to do."

"Yes," Cass agrees, "I don't know if anyone else will qualify. And if you say the Whore has taken the form of this pastor's daughter, I'm not sure anyone will be able to kill her."

You sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "Well, we'll figure it out when we get there, I guess."

"I may have an idea. I'll let you know what motel Sam chooses, and we'll meet you there."

You smile at how… Human Castiel sounds. "Sounds good. Thanks, Cass."

You hang up and look over at Dean. "Blue Earth, Minnesota, hot stuff. Let's go find us a Whore."

You laugh at your own joke, and earn a grin from him. "Yeah, yeah," he says, chuckling. He reaches out and takes your hand, and the way he doesn't seem to think about it makes you warm inside. "What's all this about a servant of heaven?"

You thread your fingers through his. "To kill the Whore of Babylon. We need a servant of heaven, no one else can kill her. Castiel can get the weapon, but the person is going to be a problem."

Dean frowns. "An angel doesn't qualify?"

You shake your head. "He fell, Dean. He's as close to the opposite of a servant of heaven as an angel can get. You're still denying Michael, and Sam, well, Sam doesn't fit the bill for obvious reasons."

He nods, then pauses. "Wait, what about you?"

You chuckle. "Dean, I suspect the premarital sex and the general heathenism disqualifies me."

He shakes his head. "No, I'm serious. Think about it. I mean, if God himself brought you here, and brought you here to change things, wouldn't that make you, technically, a servant of heaven?"

You blink, then think of Castiel's cryptic words at the end of your call and wonder if he's thinking the same thing. "Uh, maybe. That might work, we can ask Cass." You look over at Dean. "Would you be all right with that? I mean, that's putting me right in the line of fire."

He cocks an eyebrow at you. "Would it matter?"

You grin. "No, but I thought I'd see if I was in for a fight."

He squeezes your hand lightly and looks back at the road. "No, I get it, princess. You're a hunter. And, hell, if you're the only way we have to kill this thing, let's do it."

You settle back in your seat, impressed. Maybe he's growing, after all.

xxxxx

"I don't like it!" Dean shouts, throwing his hands in the air.

You roll your eyes. So much for growth. "Dean, it's the best plan we have! It has the lowest possible body count. It'll be quick and easy. Cass zaps me in, I stab the Whore, and Cass zaps me out. No mess, no fuss."

"What if something goes wrong?"

"Then I'll have an angel standing next to me!"

He shakes his head. "No. I'm coming with you."

You cross your arms. "Dean, more people are going to be harder to hide. No, you're not. I'm going, you're staying here. We'll be gone for a few minutes, tops."

"I don't like it! No. This is not the plan."

"Well, lucky for me, that's not up to you!"

Sam and Castiel are sitting on the couch in the motel room, just watching you and Dean argue. It's been going on for a while.

"Y/N, God dammit, I said no!"

"You are not in charge of what I do, Dean! We're running out of time." You groan and run your hands through your hair. "You're so fucking stubborn." You look up at him. "You need to either get all right with this, or still be fighting with me when I leave, because we're going."

He just looks at you, then, "What if something happens to you?"

You sigh and step forward to put a hand on his face. "Dean, if something happens to me, then something happens to me. You can't protect me from everything, and this is our best shot."

"Y/N," Castiel says gently, "We need to go."

You nod without looking away from Dean's miserable face. "Come on, Dean, kiss me before I go."

He takes your face into hands and kisses you gently, but thoroughly. You give up control and kiss him back, loving him so much you ache with it.

You pull away and smile at him, then turn to Cass and put your hand out. "All right, stake me, then let's do this thing."

Castiel hands you the stake, then looks at you seriously. "Y/N, I will, as you say, 'zap' us into the bedroom. I'll hold the Whore by the arms, and all you have to do is drive the stake into her heart." He pauses, then continues. "If they catch us, you will be wanted for murder, Y/N."

"Oh, shit," Sam says, "I guess I didn't even think of that."

You frown at both of them. "Why the hell would that matter?" You roll your eyes and look at the angel again. "Yeah, let's go."

Castiel examines your face for a moment, then nods. He touches two fingers to your forehead, and the world dips away from you for a moment, before resettling in a little bedroom.

You look over at the girl sitting at the vanity. Before she can see you, Castiel is behind her, hauling her to her feet and holding her arms behind her.

She snarls, and her face flashes between the girl and the demon. When she sees you, she smiles wickedly. She opens her mouth, but before she can start the incantation to incapacitate Castiel that she uses in the show, you step forward and drive the stake through her heart, your mental fingers crossed.

Castiel agreed with Dean that you are, technically, a servant of heaven. Even if you're kind of a shitty servant of heaven, you still serve God's purpose, and Castiel insists that that's enough. He says the snippet of conversation you remember, when God assured you that you're here to change things, is enough for him to have faith that you can kill the Whore.

His faith, as it turns out, is well put.

The stake starts smoking, and she screeches. You gasp and step back, and Castiel drops her to the ground. He steps around her to pull you behind him as you watch together as the stake sets fire, and she goes still.

There's banging on the door. "Leah! Leah!"

Castiel turns and wraps his arm around you, then the world dips away again. When you open your eyes, you're back in the motel room, with Dean and Sam staring at you. You blink, then look up at Castiel, still in his arms. "That was a little bit less… Drama than I thought it would be."

"We were prepared," he says calmly, pulling his arm away and taking a step back with a wary look at Dean, who's glaring at him. "It makes it much easier to fight the powers of hell when someone knows exactly what's going to happen."

You nod and smile at him. "Yeah, it does." You feel Dean's chest press into your back, and when his arms snake their way around your waist, you run your palm along his forearms and settle back into him. "It was pretty simple."

"Good," Dean's deep voice rumbles behind you. "Let's get the fuck out of here, then."

xxxxx

They're on the road again. Cass disappeared, Sam's in the passenger seat, and Y/N is asleep in the back, curled up on her side.

"She did really well today," Sam remarks.

Dean nods, still eyeing her ass in the rearview, as she's turned away from him. "Yeah, yeah, she did."

"Dean, you've got to stop acting like she's-"

"Shut up, Sam," Dean says, irritated. "She went, she did good, she didn't get hurt. Let's just leave it at that."

"I just don't want to hear you two argue every time she does something dangerous, Dean."

"Well, then, you're fucked," Dean snaps. "I'm never gonna be okay with her doing dangerous shit. So get used to it."

Sam stares at him, making him even more irritated. "What?"

"Holy shit," Sam says softly. "You're in love with her."

Dean stays silent. Not only would it be useless to deny it, he finds that he doesn't really want to deny it, anyway.

Sam starts to smile. "Wow, Dean."

Dean smirks a little. "Yeah. Wow."

xxxxx

Hi, beautiful readers! Here are my notes:

I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters. (heartbroken)

Reviews and comments give me life and keep me going.

And, as always, thank you for reading, you beautiful, beautiful people.
**We're gonna have to go down to weekly updates for a while, guys, I'm sorry. I'm in the nonprofit world, specifically animal welfare, and this is both a slow season (which means harried fundraising), and a busy season (lots of little furry ones left out in deadly cold weather), so my life has exploded. 3 I love you guys, as soon as things slow down, we're back to every few days, I promise.
**Dean's thoughts made me all warm and fuzzy when I wrote this chapter.