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Special thanks to campy for proofreading this chapter.

The present ...

"A most interesting choice."

Josh Mankey was startled by the voice. He spun around – and found himself looking at a beautiful young Asian woman.

"Oh, uh, this?" he said nervously. "It's, uh, for my grandmother."

"I see," the woman said. "Perhaps I might meet her some time?"

"You, uh, want to meet my grandmother?" he replied, flummoxed by both the odd turn the conversation had taken and the fact that his interlocutor was dressed as a ninja. At least he thought she was – he was pretty sure that's what the martial artists had been wearing in that Hong Kong action flick he'd gone to see with Kim Possible back during their sophomore year of high school.

"Hai," she said, pointing to the CD in Josh's hand. "I, too, am a devotee of the Velvet Fog."

"Really?" he asked. She nodded in reply.

Josh began to rub his neck in a nervous manner that the young woman found reminiscent of another resident of Middleton. She remained silent, but smiled at him with disarming serenity.

"You really want to meet my grandmother?" he finally sputtered. "Because she likes Mel Tormé?"

"Indeed," she said. "It would be my honor."

Josh took a deep breath. "Okay, confession time. This isn't for my grandmother."

"No?" the young woman asked earnestly.

"No," he said, working up a sheepish grin. "It's for me."

"I see," she said. "That is a sign of most excellent taste."

"Thanks," he said, his grin now growing into a more confident smile.

"You are welcome," she replied. Then she extended her hand. "I am Yori."

"Josh," he said as he reciprocated. "So, you really like Mel Tormé?"

"Oh yes," she replied. "I have even met him."

"No way!"

"Yes," she said. "It was during an incident in Tokyo."

"You're not talking about that Hamsterzilla business, are you?"

Josh was referring to an event involving a shogun-wannabe, a conference of geneticists, and a giant mutant hamster named Pokey. The Ginza would never be the same.

"I am indeed."

"Cool."

"Domo."

"So, you want to get something to eat?" he asked, hooking a thumb in the general direction of the mall and its restaurant.

"It would be my honor," she replied as she offered a graceful bow.

An hour or so later ...

"A most interesting culinary combination," Yori observed as she watched Josh dip a French fry into his chocolate milk shake.

"This from someone who eats raw fish?" he gibed as he gestured towards her sushi.

"My food is a delicacy rooted in my nation's culture," she declared with mock seriousness. "Yours is … gorchy."

"Gorchy?" Josh chuckled. "Man, I thought that was a Kim Possible-ism."

"You know Kim Possible?" Yori asked with interest.

"Yeah. We went to high school together. Even went on some dates." His countenance darkened. "Biggest mistake I ever made."

"I do not understand. Kim Possible is a most honorable warrior. I know that Stoppable-san esteems her most highly."

"Stoppable-san? You don't mean Ron, do you?"

Yori nodded.

Josh sighed. "Don't get me wrong. Kim's really nice and what she does is cool."

"But?"

Josh sighed. "But a couple of nice dates weren't worth all the hate that's been directed my way over the years. It's not like I tried to get in the way of anything happening between her and Ron; I'm happy for them. They're a great couple."

"But?"

"You wouldn't believe how many people have portrayed me as Evil Incarnate just because of a couple of episodes. I didn't tell the scriptwriters to make Kim swoon over me in "Blush." And it's not like I kicked the door shut on Ron in "Crush." But if you read fan fiction, you'd think I was some kind of villain who wanted nothing more than to manipulate Kim, treat her like dirt, and make sure that she and Ron never dated and, if they did, flamed out royally."

Yori nodded in acknowledgment. "I know of what you speak."

"You do?"

"Hai," Yori nodded solemnly. "Many writers have seen fit to portray me as – how might I best put it? – a psycho stalker ninja chick. While I was indeed impressed by Stoppable-san's heroics in "Exchange" and "Gorilla Fist," and even gave him a buss on the cheek at the end of the latter episode, teen romantic interest need not become pathological obsession. That I calmly acknowledged Stoppable-san's interest in Kim in "Big Bother," even telling her that I believed he was her destiny, is of no interest to the great many authors who believe that I can think of no one else as a potential partner in love."

"We've both gotten the short end of the stick," Josh said.

"That is a most polite way of summing up the situation," Yori observed.

"I think somebody owes us," Josh declared. "Big time."

"I agree. Perhaps a long-term, stable romantic relationship filled with adventure, discovery, and American-style humor?"

"Works for me, though I've got a question: I know you like music. You into art?"

"Very much so," Yori said. "Does it bother you that I am a martial artist and ninja warrior?"

"Nah," Josh said. "It's cool."

A few years later ...

Josh Mankey, wearing a stylish black tuxedo, grinned at his new bride, who sat beside him. Yori, who was dressed in a beautiful silk kimono, smiled at him in return.

"This is a most impressive surprise, Josh-kun," she said.

"You like?"

"How could I not?"

Standing before Josh's old garage band and holding a microphone while crooning at the gathered guests was a compact man with sandy brown hair, large expressive eyes, and a voice that most definitely merited the sobriquet "The Velvet Fog." Mel Tormé, present thanks to the power of imagination, finished singing "Just In Time" and the band fell silent. "It's really a pleasure to be here to celebrate with two of my biggest fans," he said. "Let's give these crazy kids a hand."

Family and friends burst into sustained applause punctuated by raucous cheers. When the clapping died down, Tormé reached into his dinner jacket and pulled out an envelope. "Given how random this story has become, it only seems right to announce a Larry Award."

Tormé ripped open the envelope and withdrew a piece of paper, which he quickly perused.

"Wo-ho! We have a tie! The Larry for The Story that Really, Really Needs to be Finished goes to RonHeartbreaker's Diplomacy in Action and G-Go's Indiana Jones and the Simian Odyssey."

"Two most excellent choices," Yori observed.

"Congrats, guys!" Josh said before he turned his attention to his wife. "You ready to go?"

Yori smiled broadly. "It would be my honor!"

The unfortunately canceled Kim Possible belongs to Disney; the late, great Mel Tormé belongs to the ages …