I do not own the Outsiders. All characters used, are borrowed with much respect to S.E. Hinton. A big shout out to all of you that have read, reviewed, and followed my very first fanfiction. Thank you!

25

"Hey, Soda! Hurry up, you're gonna be late!" I hollered over my shoulder.

"I'm hurryin'!" I heard him holler back before the usual banter of an arm wrestle started from the kitchen. I heard him curse out loud, no doubt that Steve was kicking his ass again.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the mirror, finishing up my shave quickly so I could help get Pony out of the tub before Two-Bit showed up. I rinsed my face; washing the remaining shaving cream off, and quickly dried off with a hand towel. I turned and opened the shower curtain; startling Ponyboy who jumped and looked up at me.

"What the hell are you jumpin' for? I been in here the last ten minutes shaving." I grinned at him while I scolded. Pony looked up at me irritated before grabbing the shower curtain and whipping it closed again.

I whipped the curtain back open, and again made Pony jump just as Sodapop came loping into the bathroom, opening the medicine cabinet and grabbing his hair grease. I gave him a look that told him I thought he was off his rocker when he started humming and dancing around in that tiny little bathroom while he was preening himself like a proud bird.

"You know what his problem is?" I asked Pony. Pony frowned, shaking his head as he looked over at his brother teasingly.

"Hardy har!" Sodapop gave a wry grin. "Y'all think you're so funny, gettin' together to gang up on me. Ha ha!"

I shook my head at him and winked at Ponyboy who was grinning from ear to ear at his crazy brother.

"Ponyboy, what the hell is that?" I asked as I noticed him holding onto something with his bad hand. His left hand was still weak, but after weeks and weeks of work, it was slowly improving.

He lifted his arm shakily and showed me the yellow object. It was a rubber duck.

"Where the hell did you get that?" I asked.

"Two-Bit," Sodapop piped up, and Pony squeezed the duck, eliciting a loud squeak.

"Of course," I muttered under my breath while I shook my head and grabbed the bath towel that was hanging from the door and threw it over my shoulder.

"C'mon, little man. I think you've been hangin' around Two-Bit too much. You're startin' to act like him." I smiled as I pulled the plug to the bathtub and hauled Pony up by the armpits. He steadied himself on his good leg while I wrapped the towel around him and then lifted him over the side of the tub.

I flipped the seat and the lid of the toilet down and pointed while I helped Pony take a seat so I could finish getting ready. He watched Soda and I intently as we fought each other playfully to get full access of the small mirror of the medicine chest. Naturally I won when I started messing up Sodapop's hair each time he'd combed it the way he liked it.

"You're such an ass." Soda laughed out loud and punched my shoulder. "How 'bout you, Pony? Your hair's grown out a bit. You ready to start greasing it back again?"

I looked down at Pony grinning. His reddish-brown hair had grown quite a bit, covering the scars he acquired during his time at the foster home, and deep ones acquired while he was in the hospital having his life saved. It was still sticking out in places though, but it didn't seem to bother Pony which was a lot different for him. He was so proud of his hair before him and Johnny went missing. And after he got hauled off to that foster home, he lost any and all interest in his hair period.

Ponyboy shook his head at Soda, and Soda smiled softly at him before gently rubbing his hair. Pony smiled back, and while they were locked in their stare, talking to each other without so much as a word, I squirted some toothpaste on Ponyboy's toothbrush and held it out for him.

"Here," I waited until he adjusted the bath towel so his right arm was free to take the toothbrush from me.

"You get his clothes out?" I asked Soda absently as I started to button up my shirt. I undid my belt and jeans, tucking the shirt in before doing it all back up again.

"SODA! LET'S GO!" Steve yelled from the living room.

"Yeah, they're on the bed. His formula is made up in the fridge, just don't give it all. I made enough for this afternoon too. Don't forget to tell Two-Bit about his noon meds. He can just give 'em to Pony; Pony's pretty good at giving them to himself."

This was our new normal discussion. Every morning our routine was waking up, eating, and tag teaming to get Ponyboy up and running for the day. It'd been a couple of months since we brought him home from the hospital, and with a little experience we started getting our new lives to work like a well-oiled machine. There were bumps in the road along the way though. Once me and Soda came up with a plan, things fell into place.

Pony was a great sport about most things. It was strange looking at someone you've known since forever, and then one day have that person taken from you and in their place, was someone else, only they looked sort of the same. I really missed our Ponyboy, but there were still remnants of him here and there in this version we pulled out of the ruins. He was still a fighter, and worked damned hard to get his strength back, but there was just so much damage done, it was going to be a long battle.

"Alright. Thanks, Soda. Have a good one. Don't forget your shoes." Damned nut was always forgetting to put his shoes on. He hated wearing them, which I never understood.

"Yeah, you too. See you later, Pony. Tell Two-Bit not to eat all the chocolate cake, 'kay?"

Pony nodded while busy brushing his teeth. I put a bowl on his lap and moved a glass of water where he could reach at the edge of the sink. I heard Steve and Sodapop leave for work and I rushed into my brothers' room to grab Pony's clothes. I sorted through the pile Soda made to make sure we weren't missing anything. I hurried back to the bathroom as Pony was done brushing his teeth.

"Alright, kid. You dry enough under there?" I asked as I knelt in front of him with the pile of clothes.

Pony didn't answer. He put his toothbrush in the bowl and put it in the sink before letting his towel drop down. He steadied himself with his right hand on my shoulder while he shakily tried to lift his left leg for me. I grabbed his briefs and sorted them out facing the right direction before sliding his foot through one leg hole, and then the other, pulling them up to his knees. His jeans were next, much in the same way we'd managed his underwear, only after weeks and weeks of the routine, Ponyboy and me realized it was a lot easier to slide his entire legs through until his foot poked out. At this point, Pony could hold onto my belt loops while I hauled him up to lean on me, and I'd hike his shorts and his jeans up in one careful pull.

I bent down to pick up his t-shirt, and playfully pulled it over his head, leaving it to cover his face before I hauled him up over my shoulder and headed for the living room. I could feel him vibrate in a familiar pattern that told me he was laughing. I tossed him on the couch like a rag doll and chuckled as he squirmed his way out of his shirt and looked at me like I was dumber than a sack full of hammers. I sure missed the sound of his voice, but times like these I figured it was better I couldn't hear what he really thought about me.

I grabbed his formula out of the ice box and poured about half out like Soda said. I grabbed the syringe that had dried with the other dishes in the sink, and headed back to the living room. I gave a snort as I put his feed on the coffee table, and unceremoniously lifted his legs so I could sit down beside him on the couch.

"Can you do it yet?" I motioned to the button and zipper on his jeans. There were so many things I'd taken for granted before. Watching Pony struggle, learning to live without the use of an arm and leg made me appreciate things a lot more.

Pony arched his back as he zipped up his jeans with his good hand. He fumbled with the button a while, but eventually got a good hold on it and fastened it closed. He held out his right arm for me, and I pulled him up so he was sitting beside me on the couch. I grabbed his t-shirt, and only had to help slip it over his bad arm; Pony took charge of the rest. I couldn't help but lean in, and softly rub the side of his face with the back of my knuckles. He just amazed me with how far he'd come. I had no idea where that strength and determination came from.

"You ready for breakfast?" I asked as I checked the feeding tube that was taped securely to his cheek. Pony's right hand moved as if to pull it out, and I slapped it away.

"Don't you dare! Don't even think about it or I'll haul your ass to the hospital and let the nurses shove it back in!" I warned.

Putting that feeding tube back into my brother was hell. I hated it, Soda hated it, and sure as hell Pony hated it. It'd come out twice since being home, and both times I had to put it back, had Soda in a fit of hysterics because Pony had a breathing episode. More specifically, he stopped breathing. He started again, of course, but not before I thought I'd killed him. Twice. I swore I'd never put it back in again even though I had to be trained before they would discharge him from the hospital. I was capable, but leery.

Pony put his hand back down and sat patiently while I made my checks to ensure the tube was where it was supposed to be before pushing feed in with the syringe. Everything checked out okay, so I started feeding him while we waited for Two-Bit to show.

"You get your medicine this morning?" I asked. Soda wasn't very specific, but it wasn't like him to forget. Still, it was dangerous if Ponyboy missed a dose, and we couldn't afford not to check and double check.

Pony nodded as he yawned, looking uninterested in watching me squeeze yet another meal for him through his tube. He'd had a little success eating by mouth, but I was too scared to push it. Watching him choke and sputter brought back too many bad memories for me. As much as Pony hated it, I just felt better feeding him through the feeding tube.

"Howdy, folks!" Two-Bit announced gleefully as he strolled in the front door and headed straight for the living room.

"Hey, Two-Bit," I greeted while I started pushing through the last syringe of feed for Ponyboy.

Two-Bit nodded as he took a seat next to Ponyboy, and grabbed the empty glass I was using to draw up the feed with from the coffee table. He took a whiff and made a face.

"Shoot, kid. When are they gonna let you eat real food? This shit smells like…well, shit." Two-Bit chuckled a bit, but stopped when he saw the very unimpressed look I was giving him.

"He'll eat when he can swallow without choking all the time." I said pointedly to both Two-Bit and Ponyboy.

Pony rolled his eyes, but stopped when I raised my eyebrows at him, letting him know I was serious. For a kid that couldn't talk, his face was expressive enough to let you know exactly what he'd say if he could. I held his chin in my hand firmly, showing him a few of my own facial expressions. He started pouting a bit, so I ruffled my hand in his hair and gave the side of his head a quick peck before I stood up, letting him know there were no hard feelings. He was still frowning at me, but his eyes were soft and forgiving.

"Alright, I have a short one today. I'll be home by two-thirty at the latest." I started with my rant for Two-Bit, who agreed to watch over Ponyboy when me and Soda's schedules conflicted.

It was a struggle to get back to work. Every time I left the house without Ponyboy, it felt like I was suffocating from the weight of the air I was trying to breathe. Panic and worry just always seemed to be in the back of my mind. Sodapop wasn't much better, so we shuffled our work schedules so that at least one of us were home as much as possible.

At first, I wasn't even certain I'd have a job to return to, but I was lucky enough to have a concerned boss who was willing to adjust to my family's new needs. It meant working a lot of split shifts so that I could go home and be there with Ponyboy until Soda, or in this case, Two-Bit could hang around while I went back to work. It wasn't convenient, but it was the best alternative we could come up with short of not working at all, and that was an impossibility.

Two-Bit followed me to the door as I gave him my usual spiel; where everything was, what time Pony needed his medicine, his next feed, what to do if he has a seizure, and of course phone numbers for both me and Sodapop. I got the usual nod nod and "yeah, yeah" while I pulled my tool belt up from the floor and threw it over my shoulder.

"Okay, you got any questions?" I asked Two-Bit as I slid my boots on, and held on to the screen door not wanting to leave.

"Yeah, ain't you leaving yet, Darry? Christ almighty! We're good, I've done this before. Get lost already!" Two-Bit grinned, trying to make me feel better, but the worry was still nagging at me.

"Got it. I'll see you later." I grinned back. "I'll see ya in a bit, Pony." I hollered out to the living room as I opened the door.

"Okie Dokie, kid. You ever drink beer before?" Two-Bit teased, knowing I was within earshot.

"I heard that!" I called back as I made my way out the door.

"I meant you to!" Two-Bit hollered back and started his crazy laugh.

The morning started off cool, but it warmed up nicely. Breaking my standing promise to both Soda and Pony, I carried two bundles of roofing up that ladder trying to save some time and get as much work done as I could in the six hours I had. I felt like I'd let my boss, Mr. Garver down. He was one of the bosses I respected, mostly due to the fact he'd always treated me with respect. He was always eager to tell you when you've done a good job, and was generous in rewarding you for the same.

I'd skipped out on over three months of work without so much as a word. When I called him, he acted happy to hear from me. Said he'd talked to my friends who explained my brother was in the hospital, then asked if there was anything he could do to help. I was expecting to be out of work, but instead I was offered the opportunity to make my own schedule and hours until I had a better idea of where my family was at.

Two o'clock came in no time, and I was on my way home. It was a nice day for March, and I was looking forward to spending some time with Ponyboy, and work on getting him up on his feet walking. We had a little improvement with his left arm between me and him working with weights to build his strength, and Sodapop helping loosen the damaged muscle with his skilled hands. I thought it could be a chance to spend some time outside together; poor kid was mostly cooped up in the house.

"Hey, guys. I'm home." I announced as I made my way through the door and dropped my tool belt onto the floor.

I slid my work boots off, and grinned curiously as I heard what sounded like Two-Bit moaning from the living room. My grin quickly turned into a look of concern when I found Two-Bit and Ponyboy on the couch nursing bloody noses and black eyes. They both looked miserable and in pain as they leaned up against each other.

"Jesus Christ! What the hell happened?" I rushed to the couch and planted myself right next to Ponyboy; panic consuming me as my hands and eyes took in every bruise and mark that wasn't supposed to be there.

"Got jumped. Socs." Two-Bit in as few words as he could while he winced with the effort.

"What, here? What the hell were socs doing here? What's going on?" I could feel my pulse throb in my ears as my anger started to rise. We had enough shit to deal with. I was not going to be putting up with the reckless bullshit those socs liked to dish out.

Pony shook his head and looked at Two-Bit as he spoke up.

"No, not here. They're dumb but they ain't stupid." Two-Bit muttered, leaning his head back against the couch.

I was becoming even less happy with where this story was going, and I could feel my patience slipping. It was hard enough dealing with the two teenage boys who were my brothers. Two-Bit was a whole different kind of ball game. I loved the guy like a best friend; a brother. But if it came down to him and Ponyboy or Sodapop, he was gonna lose every single time.

"What the hell did you two do?" I asked, making it clear I wasn't happy with either of them.

Pony frowned, and sunk into the couch a bit while Two-Bit glared at me.

"We're both okay, Darry. Thanks for asking. We didn't do anything but go out for some ice cream. You got this poor kid locked up like he's in jail or somethin', he's goin' crazy!"

"You took him out? What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled.

"Give it up, Darry! Quit treating the kid like he's a goddam baby." Two-Bit yelled back, and I wanted to slug him, but his face looked like it'd had enough for the day.

I looked angrily over at Pony who was visibly uncomfortable with me and Two-Bit fighting. He was staring down at his lap, avoiding looking at either of us.

"He's home because I wanted to avoid this exact thing! You don't think he's been through enough? And where the fuck do you get off getting him ice cream? He can't eat without choking!"

I was furious with the both of them, but mostly Two-Bit. I knew Pony wasn't innocent in this. I knew he'd egg Two-Bit on, getting away with as much as he could, but I depended on Two-Bit to make the right decisions; the best decisions in order to keep Ponyboy safe. I wasn't depending on him looking for a goddam fight to drag my brother into.

"Look, I don't need to listen to this shit from you. I took him out for the drive. We were minding our business when a buncha socs came up giving us a hard time. I got into it and your brother got me out. If it weren't for Pony, I woulda been in a lot worse shape than I am now."

I looked at Pony, whose nose was still bleeding, and his left eye was red and swollen. I grumbled when I noticed his feeding tube missing. My heart pounded in my ears with the thought of having to insert another one. My arm shot up to shove a hand in my hair, but I stopped midway when the action made Pony flinch; his own hand coming up to protect himself from the blow he was expecting from me.

My heart sank, and I could feel my jaw tremble as I fought to keep my emotions at bay. He actually thought I was going to strike him again. I tried to put that night behind me so many times. Pony even forgave me; hugging me and telling me he was sorry too. I could still hear the sickening thud in my head from Pony hitting the front door after I'd slapped him so hard. I was so scared I'd lost him that night; I was still scared of losing him.

I felt the moist heat as my eyes betrayed me, and let a few tears escape. Pony's hand moved, and he looked at me like he wasn't sure who I was. I felt the same way; I wasn't sure who I was anymore. I had a job and a promise to fulfil and I was doing shit at both. Everything felt so jumbled up and fucked up, I didn't know which way was which anymore. But watching my brother cower in fear from me broke my heart, and I didn't know if there was any way I could ever fix what happened between us on that stupid, horrible night.

Pony looked at me sadly, moving his hand to reach for me. I grabbed it, and held it in both of my hands; staring at it while trying to avoid his gaze.

"I know I got no right to ask you to believe me after what I did to you that night, but I'd never hit you, Pony. I lose my temper, and I'm an asshole most of the time, but I'd rather die than hurt you again."

I opened his hand, pressing his palm to my face before I turned my head and kissed it. I gently placed his hand down on his lap, and stood up from the couch looking down at him. I hurriedly brushed my tears away, sniffing, then gently reached out to rub the top of Pony's head.

"Tell Soda not to wait up for me." I turned around and walked around the coffee table, heading for the door.

"Darry, where ya goin'?" Two-Bit sat up straight and looked at me almost with a worried expression.

"Nowhere. Take care of my brother, would ya?" My voice sounded husky as I shoved my shoes on.

And I headed out the door.