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You let it take you in…
She's dreaming, she knows that she's dreaming. But something about the dream is off, tinged with darkness. That voice is too familiar, though she's never seen the source of it. She's standing in a meadow, but the sky is turning black.
You let the prince of darkness have you, like the filthy Jakku scavenger slut that you are…
She whips around, trying desperately to find the source of the voice.
What's his is mine...his child is mine...now you are mine…
Her hands fall to her stomach, and it's flat- not only flat, but startling, achingly empty, as if she's not eaten for days. She tries to scream, but her voice is gone.
It's only a matter of time, Scavenger Slut...just give in...give into the darkness...it would be so easy now… join us, and never be alone...you'll never be alone…
It's a dream, she reminds herself over and over again. It's a dream. It's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream. Only it's not. She knows he's there, in her head again.
No matter what you decide, the child belongs to me. To the darkness.
Finally, she lets out a mighty roar, and summons her lightsaber from out of nowhere. But there's still nowhere to turn, no figure to fight.
Your friends in the Resistance will die...Luke Skywalker will die...Leia Organa will die. Just like Han Solo. Just like his son-
She screams, and pierces through her own chest with the saber, but it doesn't hurt.
"You underestimate Luke Skywalker, Ben Solo, and me." She finally finds her voice, and her eyes fly open as she gasps.
"Rey? Rey, are you alright?" Ben asks, wrapping his arms around her. She's relieved, so relieved that he's still here with her. She'd been half afraid that he'd be gone when she woke up. SHe tucks her face into the crook of his neck, and lets out a shuddering breath. "I saw…I heard…" Yes, the bond had been open. He could have seen it all. He'd been awake then. Rey found that he rarely slept.
"Who did you hear?" She asks.
"Snoke. That was him." Ben says, his voice growing harder as his concern for her wanes. "He threatened you. Threatened the child."
"Yes." Rey nods. He's seeing. He's seeing!
"He didn't know I was there. He's strong, but he's grown careless. He's missing things. He didn't see our bond. He didn't sense this new life. He is too confident in his powers." Ben says, his hand falling to the smooth skin of her stomach. "He wont take you from me. He won't take you, he won't take the child."
"But will he take you from me?" She asks, lifting her hand to cradle his chin. "Will you let me go and keep going on?"
"No. Never again." He dips his face down to kiss her temple. "I belong to you, as long as you want me for." She's a bit taken aback by the fact that he's essentially given himself to her instead of saying that she belonged to him.
"Then you'll never leave me." She insists, letting him kiss her. "I've already marked you as mine- see?" She teases gently, tracing her finger over the scar on his face.
"I've been marked as yours for my entire life. I just didn't know it yet." He says, and she smiles.
"You want me, really want me?" She asks shyly.
"You're the only thing I'm sure about anymore." He insists. "I promise you, I'll keep you safe. I just have to figure out how."
"We have to figure out how. This is for our child. It's our responsibility." She says, resting her hand on his heart.
"I won't let either of you be put in harms way." He shakes his head.
"We're strong together, Ben. Apart, he may destroy us, but together…" She lifts his hand, and presses it to her heart, letting him feel the way it's beating in time to his. "The force is with us."
"He'll be watching you- watching us closely now. He knows he's missed things now." He sighs, laying his head back. "He's underestimated you, though. He didn't think you'd be able to keep him out, and now you've done it twice."
"A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to; I suppose my training has paid off." She shrugs. "It's exhausting, though, keeping him out. I don't know if I'll always be able to."
"You will. You'll get stronger." He insists.
"I don't know. I can keep meditating, but without Master Luke to guide me...I just don't know."
"Then we have to get you back to him."
"What? No! You...you promised, you were mine, that you wouldn't send me away!" She insists, her panic setting in.
"Sh, no, Rey, my love, that's not what I meant." He soothes, tracing patterns along her arms with his long fingers. "We need to get away from here. Both of us."
"B-both of us?" She asks hopefully, not daring to look at him. "Don't agree if you don't mean it. I couldn't cope if you went back on this."
"I promise you, I mean it." he swears. "I don't know what happened...but the darkness...it's lost it's appeal. I felt the light for the first time in years when I touched you for the first time on Starkiller- it was...intoxicating. It's been growing since then. I tried to deny it...but Snoke has crossed every line. Lied to me. Threatened you. Threatened the child. He said that he was showing me the way to freedom, to ultimate power, but before you came, I was emptier than I had ever been."
"My poor Ben…" She slowly sits up, keeping the blanket tucked up around her chest, and leans against the headboard.
"Don't. Everything I did… I chose to do. Snoke may have been influencing me, but I believed him. I wielded the lightsaber that ended countless lives. I ordered executions. I killed my own father." She feels the regret and shame pouring from his soul. "There is nothing I can do to make up for that. There is nothing I can do to right these wrongs, nothing I can do to be worthy of you."
"But you're willing to try?" She asks, and he sits up next to her.
"I'll never stop trying." She drapes her arm across his chest, and presses a soft kiss to his neck. His arms circle her waist, and come to rest on her stomach, feeling the child move.
"I wish I could talk to your mother- I know she must be worried about me." Rey says after a content moment. "And she would be willing to help us. She still loves you, I can see it in her eyes. She loves you, and she's never stopped hoping that you'd come back. Even after Starkiller, she never stopped hoping."
"There is a way you might be able to...but I don't know. " He runs his hand over his face. "When I was child, I had a strong connection to her; I could reach her from great distances, she could reach me. I shut her out after I went to the academy. I haven't tried to reach her in almost nineteen years. I'm not sure I'll be able to...I haven't used the light in so long."
"Let's try it- together!" Rey gasps, taking his hands in her own.
"I don't want to disappoint you."
"Use my light- you said my light was strong! Use it, please!" She insists.
"I will try. But again, please, don't be too hopeful. I really don't know if I'll be able to reach her, if she'll even let me speak to her." He grabs onto her hands tightly, and closes his eyes. She does the same, and lets her breathing match the pace of his. She recognizes the rhythm. Breathing in the light, breathing out the darkness. His breathing is a bit ragged, but she squeezes his hands, willing him to take use her light. It wells into him, and she feels the power pulsing through him. She's seen and felt his power when he wields the darkness, but wielding the light, it's entirely different, and more powerful than she could ever have imagined. It's almost overwhelming, because not even Luke's powers had been so great. How could he be strong with something he had not practiced in nearly twenty years?
"Mother? Are you here? Can you hear me? Mother?"
Even in his mind, his voice breaks when he says "mother". She squeezes his hands tighter.
"Mother? Mama...please...I, I have Rey with me. She wants to talk to you. Please, let her. Please, don't ignore her because of me." He's begging now, desperate to give Rey what she wants. "I'm sorry. Mama, please."
"Ben?" Rey can't help but gasp when she hears Leia's voice as clear as a bell.
"Mama…" He says softly, unable to say anything else.
"What's going on? Where's Rey?"
"I'm here, Leia. I'm with Ben." Rey says, and she senses the woman's surprise.
"Rey! Thank Goodness you're alive! We sent Chewy to Luke for you, and he hadn't seen you. We thought...we assumed the worst." Leia's voice wavers a bit.
"I'm alright. The baby is alright. THe ship was shot down...I opened the bond, and Ben came to save me." Rey explains.
"Then he knows…" Leia's happiness is laced with trepidation.
"He knows everything." Rey says, squeezing his fingers as a show of support. "And hes found the light."
"I knew he must have- I hoped- I could feel him again, stronger than ever- and when he reached out for me...Ben? Son…"
"Yes, mother, I'm here."
"My boy…" She sighs, reaching out through the bond. "My poor boy."
"I'm so sorry."
"I know. This isn't the time to talk about that. Some day, face to face, but not now." She quiets him down. "Right now, we need to figure out how to get Rey home."
"Us. How to get us home." Rey corrects her softly.
"Both of you? Ben...You're...you want to come home?"
"More than anything." Leia goes quiet for a moment, and Rey's afraid she'd left.
"How do I know this isn't a trick?""Because I trust him, Leia." Rey says firmly. "With my life."
"Well, I can't ask for a better recommendation than that." Leia says, a slight smile in her voice. "Is it safe for you to leave? Is there any way?"
"I don't know yet. But I will figure something out. I promise. Rey and the baby will be back with you soon." Rey feels another chill run down her spine.
"Don't go giving up on yourself. Not when you're finally coming back to me." Leia says firmly. "Give me a day. Let me see what I can work out with the others."
"I don't come back unless Ben is guaranteed safety." Rey says, and this time Ben squeezes her hands. "I'll do everything I can. People won't like it." Leia sighs.
"I have more information about the First Order than a thousand spies could gather in a hundred years." Ben offers.
"And you would...give it up?" Leia asks.
"Yes."
"You meant it, then. You're trying to make amends?" Leia's voice is so full of hope.
"I've promised Rey that I'll spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of her light. I keep my promises."
"Yes, I remember." She can hear the smile in Leia's voice.
"And I have a lot to make up to you, mother. Things I can never make up to you. But I'll try."
"I know you will." Those four words of good faith almost bring Ben to tears. "Give me until tomorrow night. I'll try to find a way."
"Leia- are Finn and Rose...and Poe, are they alright?" Rey asks before she slips away.
"They're all doing well; Poe got a few burns on Hoth, but he's healing quickly. They've all been terribly worry about you." Leia says gently. "They'll be so glad to hear that you're alive. We'd all feared the worst. But not Finn, he never thought for a minute that you'd give up so easily."
"He's smart. But don't tell him I said that." Rey smirks. "And Luke?"
"He's come back." Rey starts, almost shattering the connection. "When Chewy came back without you, he brought Luke. He said it was time. That he would help find you. He was sure you were alive. He felt it. So did I...but Sometimes, it's hard to remember how to hope."
"I know." Rey nods. "We'll all be together soon."
"I hope so." Leia says. "Until tomorrow."
"Tomorrow." Rey confirms.
"Son?" Leia asks after a moment, and Ben stiffens.
"Yes?"
"You're wrong. I have never hated you. I have always loved you. You're my son. Nothing you did could change that." She breaks the connection before he can respond. Rey opens her eyes, and meets his, glimmering with tears.
"I told you." She whispers, taking his face in her hands. She kisses him softly. "I told you."
"I'll make everything right for you. For you, for my mother, for your child. I'll make everything right, so that you can have your dream. I'll take you somewhere green, where you can dance in the rain. I swear it." He says, pressing his forehead to hers. "I love you." She smiles, and kisses his cheek, tasting the salt from the few tears that had escaped.
"I know."