A/N: So... yeah.. you should just put your childhood away... like... now.. just hide it. Don't let it out. Just keep it safe. .
In other news Bartholomew is not his actual name it is a name I gave him for this story. I also noticed that I have a horrible problem when it comes to info-dumping. =S ANYWAYS Please enjoy and if you feel like it, let me know what you think. =3
"There are several kinds of beings that live in our world, existing in all kinds of shapes and sizes. Humans, monsters, demons, plants, animals. Name it and it probably lives somewhere on earth," A young woman spoke, pulling a stray lock of hair back behind her ear, the rest of her normally wavy tresses held back in a tight bun. Her blue eyes stared up at the classroom of students. Some staring right back at her, some studiously taking notes, and others... just dozing away.
"Today we're going to talk about monsters, now... following the Well incident that happened five years ago, Monsters are one of the species who now walk the Earth among us. Who can tell me about their common characteristics?" She questioned, watching as several students raised their hands. "... Ms. Hasegawa, you may take the lead on this."
The young, Kyoko Hasegawa, stood from her seat and adjusted her glasses, a soft "ahem" escaping her lips as she cleared her throat. "Monsters are one of the two species that escaped the makai following the Well incident, the other being demons. Monsters are the more physically inclined of the two. They tend to take the forms of powerful beasts, but have also been known to take human form as well."
"Very good, now... who can tell me about their integration into our society?" The professor spoke again, when no one but Kyoko raised their hand she simply nodded for the girl to continue.
"Given their naturally violent tendencies, the monster race actually integrated rather smoothly into our society. While they are slow to learn in an educational setting. Their natural strength and speed allow them to fill various roles best suited to their talents. Common job placements for monsters include, construction workers, security/body guards, loggers, pretty much anything where manual labor or physical exertion is part of the job description," Kyoko trailed off for a moment, her face donning a pensive look. "Oh! and there have been some cases where particularly even tempered monsters have even become police officers. In fact I believe the chief of police back in Kyoto is a monster!"
"Very good, Ms. Hasegawa. Last question, who can tell me about the common biology of the monster race?" The professor smiled when no one raised their hand, not even Kyoko. Placing a hand on her hip she stared them down for a few moments, waiting to see if any of them would say anything.
"Well Professor Higurashi.. we don't really know anything about their common biology. Last I had read.. they each have their own individual biological make up... and given that they can change forms there really isn't a consistent set of internal organs." Kyoko spoke up.
"Very true. most monsters are shape shifters by nature. But there is one thing that every monster can tell you that will never change. What they eat." Kagome spoke, watching as several brows rose. "Monsters always stick to their diet, which consists of one type of food entirely. The type of food is dependant upon what they ate when they were young."
The classroom went dark then as a screen lowered behind her. Kagome nodded to a young man in the back of the class who flipped a switch on the projector. On it a picture of a tall muscular man appeared. His lips curled in a charming grin. His eyes were a simple black in color, as if his pupils were enlarged when really that was just the color of the irises. His short unruly hair was an inhuman blue color.
"This class is Bartholomew Cookiemonster," She smiled as the class chuckled, "He as his name suggests, is a cookie monster."
"A cookie monster?" A particularly skeptical student spoke up then.
"Yes a cookie monster, that means that the very first piece of food he had ever eaten.. was a cookie." Kagome looked fondly up at the picture.
"How is he not a fat blob if all he does is eat cookies?" The same student spoke again.
"Unlike the rest of us, Monster's don't have to work for their body types, not because they're shapeshifters, but because their bodies have adjusted to their main diet since there were children. Bartholomew here has a metabolism that adjusts depending on how much and what kind of cookie he's been eating. There is also the matter of.. well... to put it simply. His body can produce whatever vitamins and minerals that he needs out of the cookies he ingests."
"How the hell does that work?! Cookies are just sugar, flour, and some eggs!" Kagome rolled her eyes.
"It's simple, his stomach produces special enzymes that alter the composition of the cookie based on what his body has determined it needs. Basically a simple cookie can be his breakfast, lunch, or dinner. On top of being a dietary supplement."
"Can he eat other foods?" Kyoko spoke up now.
"He can, but he doesn't get any nutrients from them. His body is made to digest cookies. So when he eats something like... a steak, its for no other reason than to enjoy eating the steak."
The class as a whole gave her an incredulous look. Kyoko Hasegawa slowly raised her hand to speak again. "Do... all monster's survive off cookies?"
"No. It's dependant upon whichever food they became most accustomed to during their adolescent years. So as an example: a monster that ate lots of lettuce during their childhood would live off of lettuce." Kagome explained, "their digestive functions adapted in such a way so that while living in the Makai they didn't have to worry about food. A monster would find a habitat where their choice of food was plentiful and stay there."
"They had.. cookies? In the Makai?" the skeptical student spoke up again.
"Well yes... life in the Makai was somewhat similar to our own.. to some extent. It's a bit more cutthroat over there... if you failed to do as you were told or stepped out of line to often you would tend to lose your head. But other wise it was similar. They had cities and towns. Their own government and kingdoms."
"Professor Higurashi... you're currently the world's only human expert on Monsters and Demons, how do you know all of this?"
Kagome smiled as the bell rang. "That, Ms. Hasegawa, will be a subject for another day."
Stepping out of her car, Kagome made her way up the shrine steps, towards her family's ancestral home. At the top of the stairs she found a giant of a man sleeping beneath the torii gate. His short blue hair sticking out in every direction as he snored loudly.
With a soft smile she gently set her self down in his lap, resting her back against his chest as she gazed up at the blue sky above Tokyo. His slumber went on undisturbed by her presence. One large arm wrapping around her waist to hold her to him.
Kagome chuckled at the gesture, for such a large imposing man he was surprisingly cuddly, even when he was asleep.
Reaching down into her bag, Kagome took hold of a small package wrapped in tin foil and pulled it out. Her hands gingerly opening the wrapping, being mindful of the noisy material, and retrieved a small cookie from its confines. Craning her head back slightly she looked up at his sleeping face and lifted the cookie till it was level with his mouth, slowly waving it back and forth as if in offering to the slumbering man.
Her lips curled into a grin when she saw his nose twitch. His nostrils flaring as he scented the cookie.
"Peanut butter..." he rumbled low in his chest, before opening his mouth. Kagome could see the muscles in his neck tensing. Normally he would have destroyed the cookie already, but given that she was holding it he instinctively resisted the urge to snap his jaws at the treat.
With a small laugh, knowing the man was still mostly asleep, she placed the small cookie on his tongue and turned in this lap. watching as he began to chew.
"It's nice to know you aren't very demanding... you know?" She spoke, as his eyes slowly peaked open."Any other boyfriend would be upset that I spend all day at work and ask for sex or... special favors."
He just nodded his head, slowly savoring the sweet peanut butter cookie.
"But not you Bart, you help take care of the shrine all day with grandpa, I come home with cookies and all is well." She spoke, pecking his chin with a light kiss. His arm pulled back slightly then till the palm of his large hand rested upon her stomach and began rubbing small circles into her flat belly, keeping her body held closely to his.
It was then that she felt something large pressing against her bum. His blue denim jeans pressing into the back of her black skirt.
"Well.. I guess I spoke too soon, huh?"
Bartholomew simply opened his mouth for another cookie.