Thank you all so much for your patience as life has been more than a little crazy right now. We are nearing the end of our story, but never fear more stories are already in the works (more to come on that later!)

As always, I appreciate the kind words you share with me on what you like/don't like/love about each chapter - thank you so much!

Enjoy!

"Dirty Little Secret"

March – Year 5: Three months before Mia's arrival

Clarisse kept her eyes closed as she felt the soft satin of familiar lips nuzzling into her neck, his breath hot against her skin igniting small flames of desire low in her abdomen. She titled her head slightly to provide him greater access. She'd missed this…

They'd found a compromise-one night through the week they would have dinner together, no work. When her schedule permitted, they would spend the day together on Saturday enjoying each other's company.

The lips moved lower to the swell of her breasts, her body arched as open-mouth kisses anointed the lace of her gown. This…

This they were still trying to find an appropriate compromise on but apparently their earlier make-out session prompted him to return to her suite and avail himself of the gift she'd offered before he reminded her of his promise to help her focus.

Inch by painstaking inch, she came alive as his mouth moved lower on her body. Her legs spread, instinctively guiding him to where she needed his touch. Moments later, her heart sang in relief as she felt his hands press against her thighs, his tongue sliding along her slick folds. Her hands clenched the sheets as the pleasure mounted at a rapid pace…it had been too long.

His efforts worked her into a frenzy: frantically beating heart, slight sheen of perspiration on her skin, and the tightly wound coil of desire making its presence known deep within her body.

Wanting to feel even closer to him, she released the tight grip on the sheet with one hand and slid it down her body to caress the fringe of hair around his beautiful pate. Instead of the smooth bald head she'd expected, she encountered a thick mane of hair…at the same moment, the fingers pressing into her inner thighs tightened their grip. Pleasure was replaced with pain, excitement with fear.

Forcing her eyes open, she looked down – trying to make sense of this turn of events. Instead of loving blue eyes greeting her, the dark fathomless depths of Rupert's eyes met hers. Panic sliced through her body filling every pore with monster-in-the-closet type fear. She scrambled to get away from the death grip he now held on her legs.

"Going somewhere, Your Majesty? We were just starting to have fun. I knew you had another side to you. Now I know you're dirty little secret…"

The voice wasn't Rupert's. The grip released and she scurried off the bed and grabbed her robe. Venturing a quick look back, she saw the predatory leer of Arthur Mabry sweeping over her body. "What the hell?"

This had to be a nightmare. She had to wake herself from the horror of this moment. As the image of Arthur slid off the bed to come after her, she bolted out of the room. Nightmare or not, she wasn't sticking around to see what he had in store. Her sitting room was bathed in red, an eerie spotlight shone in the corner. She pulled her robe tightly around her body. "Amelia?"

The normal smiling face of her granddaughter twisted into a look of disgust. "How could you, Gramma? After all the lessons—all the lectures about proper behavior. We were so close. You've ruined everything!"

Clarisse startled awake, sweat plastering the silk of her gown to her damp body. She reached for the glass of water on the nightstand, the trembling of her hands causing a small amount to spill onto the sheets. "Dear God, what am I going to do?"

The next morning - Sunday

"Clarisse?" Joseph shook the sleeping form of his lover gently trying to wake her. He was worried when she didn't show for morning tea and even more concerned when he found her sitting on the couch, sound asleep, clutching a pillow tightly.

Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of her name being called. The concerned look on Joseph's face startled her and she scooted farther back on the couch. "Joseph? What are you doing in here?"

Joseph sat down on the couch, worried at the look of alarm on her face. "I came to check on you. Want to tell me why you slept sitting up on your couch last night?"

"I…" She closed her mouth. "No, I do not."

He recognized that tone, he'd heard it before. With a heavy sigh, he moved the conversation forward. "As you wish. Shall I let the kitchen staff know you'll be down later for breakfast?"

The knot in her stomach hadn't gone away. It had only been a nightmare, but the message her subconscious was sending reverberated loud and clear in the light of day: Duty must come first. She mustn't screw this up for Amelia just because Joseph found a way to unlock a passionate woman with needs and desires like every other female in her country…in the world. "No, I'll simply have some tea here in my room. Thank you for checking on me."

Sitting down, his hand slid up her thigh. "If you're staying in this morning, perhaps I could keep you company? Pick up where we left off last night?"

His fingers slid between her legs and she immediately captured it in hers, trying to keep the fear out of her expression. "As much as I would love to, I need to have my tea and prepare for my day. Amelia will be here in a few short months and there isn't a moment to lose."

The hand returned to his own lap. "You want to tell me what's going on? Last night we were making out like teenagers right here on this couch. Today, you don't want me near you or touching you. I've known you long enough to know you're not one to make rash changes in behavior unless something or someone threatened you." His fingers trailed along her cheek, down her neck coming to rest on her arm. "Tell me."

She stood, putting some distance between them. How could she tell him about her nightmare? What would he think of her if he knew she'd dreamt of him…doing that…to her and then the other faces—the fear? Smiling she tried to explain. "Remember when we spoke of me keeping the proper priorities? Well, our little—escapade on the couch last night, reminded me of how easily I can be distracted. I couldn't sleep well last night worrying about how I would tell you… Amelia will be here in a few short months."

She's not being totally honest with me. Joseph had spent years studying the woman and the Queen. He knew when she was being diplomatic and when she was being truthful. This was diplomacy to spare either him or her from discomfort or pain. He stood and took her hand and kissed the back of it. "I promised you I would help you stay focused. I apologize things got out of hand last night. It will not happen again. Enjoy your Sunday, Clarisse."

Clarisse was miserable. It was Sunday and, for once, she could think of nothing to do. There were no diplomatic pouches, no agreements to review, no paperwork to sign. Needlepoint required entirely too much concentration for her to focus on such a tedious endeavor. If only she could swallow her pride and ask Joseph to return. His company, however, would mean she would have to explain. And explaining was not something she cared to do at the moment.

Her private phone rang. Mentally, she ran through the list of people who had the number. Regardless of good or bad, at least it would be a distraction. "Hello."

"Good morning, Clarisse."

"Vanessa! Wonderful to hear your voice." Though Clarisse loved Sebastian, she'd hoped the call wouldn't be from him. Next to Joseph, Vanessa would be her next preferred choice.

"Yours as well, my friend. I'm sorry it has taken me so long to call, you know how it is though."

Clarisse curled up on the couch and tucked her feet underneath her. "Indeed, I do. How is the sheik?"

"As ornery as ever, of course. He sends his best to you and Joseph—and the princess, of course. Are you getting excited about her arrival and taking over your job?" Vanessa teased.

At the question, the older woman paused. Vanessa had an uncanny ability to see through diplomacy and the positive spin Clarisse tried to put on everything. "I'm cautiously optimistic."

"Tell me."

An audible sigh seemed an appropriate way to start. "Parliament is already sowing seeds of doubt…in each other…in the country."

"In you?" She challenged.

"Honestly, I don't know. She's come so far, but do I think she'll be ready in a few short months? I'd be lying if I said yes."

"What does Joseph say?"

Silence.

"Clarisse, how does Joseph feel about all of this? You have spoken with him and shared your concerns, right?"

"He knows I need to make Amelia a priority to ensure she's ready." Not exactly an answer, but worth a try.

"I'm sorry, do you think you're talking to Sheila Motaz here? Charlotte would call you on this as well." Vanessa paused, "Well, maybe she wouldn't, since she's on your payroll. I, however, am not."

Clarisse clutched the pillow a little tighter. "I need to focus and can't be distracted by personal matters. Joseph and I have discussed that and he understands."

"By discussed, you mean you dictated and he followed."

Sitting up straighter, she pushed back. "There you go, taking liberties because of our friendship."

Vanessa laughed, "Meaning I don't allow you to dismiss me or give me vague answers? Those kind of liberties?"

"You're sassing me again, aren't you?"

The younger woman quieted her laughter, "No, Clarisse, I'm being your friend. I'm being what a real friend is to you. I would hope you understood that by now."

Clarisse sat forward on the couch, "I'm sorry. I do know, but when so much time elapses between our visits and talks, I lapse into my former self. Forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive, my friend. We both are headstrong women who often times need reminding we are not in this alone. But, Clarisse…"

She sighed, slouching uncharacteristically into the pillows once again. "I know."

"Don't hide from him. He loves you and I know you love him. Despite being a tough guy, he's vulnerable where you're concerned. Promise me you won't forget that."

Clarisse fought the urge to remind Vanessa that love hadn't been easy for her either. She'd spent most of her life feeling vulnerable when it came to love. Except where Joseph is concerned…I've always been safe with him. Decision made. Even if Joseph became upset about her nightmare, he was a rational man and would eventually see his way back to her. Patience was something she knew a lot about. "I won't forget. Thank you, Vanessa. Please promise you'll come for a visit soon."

Vanessa laughed. "I'll try, but I'd rather you and Joseph honeymoon here and allow me to spoil you as you both deserve. In Genovia, you must live under the watchful eye of all those around you. Here, you can be free."

Memories of her various encounters with Joseph while on holiday in Tunisia flooded her mind spreading warmth throughout her body and heating her face. "You have a point. Should our impending nuptials be delayed due to politics or other matters of the crown, I'd love to see you here in my country, watchful eye or not. I miss you!"

"Let me speak with the Sheik and see what I can arrange. Until then, talk to him Clarisse. You want my visit to be pleasant, right? I'd hate to have to spend it fussing at you." Vanessa laughed.

"Oh tosh, you'd simply find something else to fuss at me about. I think secretly you enjoy being the only other person, besides Joseph, who braves fussing at me."

"You've discovered my dirty little secret," she confessed as the laughter continued. "Until next time, my friend."

Vanessa's words sobered Clarisse and reminded her of the nightmare. "Until next time."

The line disconnected and Clarisse closed her eyes, both dreading and looking forward to her impending conversation with Joseph. She hated when they were at odds, even if they weren't really fighting. Inhaling and exhaling slowly, she used the personal phone still held in her grasp and hit his number on the speed dial.

Joseph tapped lightly on the door to Clarisse's suite. It'd been surprising when he received the call asking him to come over for late afternoon tea. Truthfully, he would've preferred the offer of a nightcap. The time he spent with Clarisse meant equal parts heaven and hell. At least with a stronger drink, he might be able to take the edge off of the razor sharp tension slicing into his resolve. She truly had no idea how hard it was for him to restrain from touching her, kissing her, making love to her… For the zillionth time that day, he recited the number of days until Mia arrived and assumed the crown.

The door opened and his attention refocused for only a moment before the soft blue satin blouse and navy slacks sent all the restrictive thoughts fleeing from his mind until he had to violently suppress the urge to press her softness between him and the nearest wall.

"Thank you for coming, Joseph." Her smile was slight—tentative.

"I would never refuse a private audience with my queen." The words were said with a smile, but he saw the hurt in her eyes…the blue depths tugging at his heart. Taking her hand and brushing his lips across the knuckles, he continued. "And I most assuredly would never refuse an invitation to spend private time with you."

"Please, come in. Would you like some tea? The service was brought up only a few moments ago." She gestured to the silver platter with the finest of China and a delicate rose pattern around the edges.

"Of course."

"Milk and sugar?" She prayed her hands would be steady as she prepared to pour the tea service. She hadn't been this edgy around him in months, if not longer.

His hand rubbed over his forehead and over the smooth skin on top of his head. "Any chance I could have mine with brandy? It's been a difficult day."

Her spine straightened at the suggestion. She knew people occasionally put a nip in their tea, but she'd never partaken in such a liberty. Prior to last night, I'd never had an erotic nightmare either… Leaning over slightly she bent to open the bottom of the stocked liquor cabinet.

At the sight of her perfectly round bottom stretching the material of her slacks, Joseph's body reacted to the visual stimuli. He knew she hadn't done it on purpose. She only flirted when they were being playful and this meeting was going to be anything but fun. "Make mine more brandy than tea, please."

Clarisse turned at the strained sound of his request. His eyes were dark and, in an instant, she realized what her innocent movement had done to him. Grabbing two glasses, she took the liquor decanter and moved to sit next to him. "Bloody hell, I say we forego the tea all together."

At her uncharacteristic swearing, the tension subsided and Joseph laughed. "You read my mind, Clarisse." He took the filled glass from her outstretched hand and swallowed a good portion of the fiery liquid. The burn soothed the raw nerves and helped him to focus on the woman sitting just a few feet from him. "As I have never been able to read yours, what would you like to talk about?"

The heat from his gaze as she lifted the rim of the cup to slide between her lips renewed the tingling ache low in her belly. She sat the glass down and focused on his damp lips. "I don't know about you, but I simply cannot talk about anything important at the moment."

"Clarisse?"

He watched as she moved around the coffee table and extended her hand. With one hand, he clasped hers and stood—with the other, he grabbed the glass and quickly downed the rest of his drink. Regardless of where she was leading him—and make no mistake, he would follow—even to the ends of hell and back, he wanted to finish the fine beverage she'd offered him. Without another word, she led him to her bedroom and closed the door.

Her mouth was on his the moment the lock clicked into place, her breasts pressing against him in the most tantalizing of ways. His hands cupped her bottom, the delectable one he'd been admiring only minutes earlier, and pressed her hard against him. Breaking the kiss, his voice was hoarse with need. "If this is some kind of test…"

Her hands went to the buttons on her blouse, undoing each one as quickly as possible in the small amount of space their bodies allowed. She shook her head. "Not a test."

Those three words were all he needed to hear. Twirling her around, he slid his hands under the blouse and sent the silky material to the floor, his t-shirt hot on its trail. He clasped her hands and lifted them above her head, pressing his body fully into hers as his mouth plundered hers, tongue demanding entrance.

The heady rush of desire crested and crashed over her body, removing any remaining thought other than Joseph's bare skin against hers. Her legs separated to allow his muscled thigh to provide much needed pressure against the pulsing need ravaging her lower body. The presence of his delectable tongue inside her mouth made it impossible to do anything but moan her approval of this course of action.

Oxygen deprivation required him to break the kiss. Their chests heaved in counterpoint and his arousal screamed for attention. "I need you, Clarisse….NOW!"

She nodded and they both quickly undressed. Her eyes were drawn to his hard, throbbing member and a wave of pure lust swept her further down the path. They moved toward the bed, but a flash of the nightmare from the previous night vied for attention. Not wanting any chance of her mind robbing her body of the pleasure it so richly deserved, she stopped in front of one of the cushioned chairs normally used for her needlework. Placing a hand on each arm and bending slightly, she looked over her shoulder. "Take me, Joseph…" The sapphire depths darkened to the deepest of blues. "Hard."

If possible, he hardened even further at the sight of Clarisse bent over a chair, her legs spread and the predatory look in her eye. If that wasn't enough, her command left him helpless to resist and fueled his need even higher. He moved in behind her and slid his hand between her legs. "God, Clarisse…you are so ready for me." The dampness on his fingers glistened in the late afternoon sun.

He coated his arousal with her juices before slipping one arm around her waist to steady her. With the other, he positioned their bodies and thrust deep inside of her. Her internal muscles gripped him tightly, holding him deep within her well of pleasure. Kissing the freckles on her back, he held them still for a moment—simply enjoying being one again. "God, I've missed you."

"Don't make me beg, Joseph." Clarisse warned.

Her statement made him realize the depth of her need. His hands moved to smooth over her back and came to rest on her hips. Gripping tightly, he pulled back and then thrust forward…hard. "Never, my love."

Clarisse gripped the padding beneath her palms tightly as Joseph's body moved against hers in an unrelenting coupling. Her head dropped as she used her leverage to provide counterpoint to his thrusts until the pace became too much for her and she simply braced herself as his fingers pressed into the soft flesh of her derriere ensuring she could not escape…as if she would even try.

In a brief flash of sanity, he worried he was hurting her. Her body dutifully absorbing the impact of his body fusing with hers as moans of pleasure slipped from her lips. Stopping, he slipped his arm around her again and leaned over her body. "You okay?"

"Mmmm…"

He smiled against her back and moved his fingers lower to tease the tiny bundle of nerves as he changed the rhythm to short, quick thrusts. This close to her body, he could feel every vibration from her verbal appreciation for his efforts as well as the tightness in her body as the cord wound tighter and tighter. Her sheath closed in around him as they climbed the mountain together until her body seized and pulled him over the edge with her.

"Joseph!"

"Clarisse!"

She felt the tension snap and straightened in his arms as he held her tightly, their bodies no longer actively moving as their souls took flight. The adrenalin slid away as the pleasure receded leaving her limp in his firm embrace. "Now…" she turned her head slightly to kiss him. "Now, I can focus."

He laughed, "You may have to give me a few minutes as the image of you bent over in front of me is not one I will soon forget. I'm not certain to what I owe such a wonderful treat, but I am grateful nevertheless."

She turned in his embrace and kissed him again, her fingers playing with the fringe of hair. "I needed our time together to be different, that's my only explanation."

His hand cupped her cheek, "My dear, you owe me no explanation for such a beautiful display of trust and eroticism. I am merely a grateful recipient of your gift."

Clarisse pulled him close. Could she ever truly be whole without him in her life? Not just as her head of security, but as her friend—her lover—her husband? She prayed she would never have to find out as the thought alone nearly suffocated her. "You are the gift, Joseph. Thank you for enduring my mood swings and inability to properly communicate."

Sensing the time for talk was upon them, he kissed her on the cheek. "Come, let's get cleaned up, dressed and we'll have that nightcap."

About ten minutes later, they were dressed and seated once again on the couch. Joseph raised his glass to toast. "Here's to being different."

At his toast, her face heated as images of what she knew they must've looked like a little while ago flooded her mind. She clinked her glass to his, but couldn't meet his eyes. She felt his arm slip around her shoulders and pull her close. His breath sent warm shivers over her entire body as he whispered in her ear. "Never be embarrassed about sharing our love. It is nothing short of perfection when our bodies join as one, regardless of where or how. I love you."

His words eroded the doubt and she melded into his embrace. "I love you too."

They sipped their drinks in silence for a few minutes until Clarisse sat up straight. "I had a nightmare last night."

He cupped her cheek, his eyes searching hers for a clue. "Tell me. Whatever it is, you can share with me."

Clarisse nodded slightly, "I realize that now. I should've known it all along."

His thumb slid across her lips and he smiled at the way her eyes close every time. "You're human like the rest of us, it's okay."

She wanted to argue with him, but knew that was not the point of their time together. She was held to a different standard, but perhaps with him, she could be…human. Opening her eyes, she told him everything.

Joseph listened as Clarisse shared the horrors of seeing both Rupert and Viscount Mabry's face in her dream followed by the disappointment and accusations of her granddaughter. Once she finished, he pulled her into his arms and held her tightly. "Thank you for telling me, I know it wasn't easy."

Calmness settled into her soul once again and she lifted slightly out of his embrace. "This is so hard, Joseph. I can't concentrate when I'm near you and I can concentrate even less when I'm away from you."

His hands framed her face and brought it closer for another kiss. He felt her lips soften as her head angled slightly to increase the pressure. She was right…they couldn't go without this. Not now. Not after everything they overcame to get to this point. He allowed himself a few more moments to simply drown in her essence. "Unless your schedule prohibits, Saturday or Sunday night is date night. We eat, watch a movie and, if our bodies demand, we succumb to the pleasure we need to keep moving forward until such time as you can be in my arms every night."

"Mmm, I love the sound of that." She snuggled into his embrace again. "Let's try and see how it works. Depriving ourselves certainly didn't have the desired effect."

Joseph thought of their earlier interlude and couldn't find it in himself to complain. "We will eventually figure this out. We will be careful and keep our love in the shadows for a little while longer. No one will know, certainly not Mabry."

Clarisse closed her eyes, content to be in Joseph's arms once again. She prayed that no one ever did learn of their most wonderful and beautiful…dirty little secret.