Thanks for all those lovely reviews: zenon-92793, waitingforjudgement, Fizzing-Whizbee-nz, WhiteCamellia, messyblackhair66, queenshinkokami, tennisjock, zippingzephyr, Lady Potter of Tortall, chickibabe46, marauders rox, AuthoressMegz, iridewithsanta and CowPie37! Btw, sorry the last chapter was so short, this one's longer!
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Ch 25: Out of the Bag
"How the hell do I get up there?" James huffed angrily. He had made his fourth attempt to climb the slide but to no avail. They were clearly as boy proof as it was possible to be.
He had run over the possibility of using his broomstick, but how was he supposed to explain flying his broomstick up to the girls' dorms? There was bound to be at least one uptight little first or second year who would tell McGonagall. And Lily would probably shoot him (figure of speech. The possibility of her having, especially since James had never even heard of one, a gun was very remote) anyway.
So, for lack of any other brain wave of inspiration, James set off to the owlery. After coaxing down his owl, James scribbled a note on the piece of parchment he had brought with him and attached it to the owl. He watched it soar out the window and slowly walked back up to the common room.
At 8:30pm he made his way to the Heads' common room, hoping against hope that Lily would be there. With any luck she had had enough time to cool down.
As he gave the password to the portrait and walked into the welcoming looking room he spotted Lily immediately. He smiled slightly and glanced at his watch. 8:25. Even when she was mad Lily couldn't help being early.
Lily spun around instantly at the creak of the portrait hole. Her eyes were still narrowed with annoyance but less so than earlier.
"What do you want James?" She asked shortly before he could even get a word in.
James swallowed. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Wow, I never would have guessed!" Lily exclaimed sarcastically. "I hope you've at least dragged me here for something decent. What's with all the secrecy anyway?" She asked snappily.
"You so badly wanted to know where I was the other night so I'm going to tell you. I've discussed it with the others and they've given their consent." He hated how formal his words came out but his nerves were rattled. Lily's eyes widened in surprise and guilt but stronger than all of them, curiosity.
"Oh." Was all she said.
"Maybe you should sit down." James suggested, pointing towards the couch which she had vacated upon his arrival. Lily looked slightly apprehensive but she was far too curious to say anything.
James struggled to find his word. He didn't really know where to begin. Should he start with Remus being a werewolf or with where he was?
"James," Lily said quietly. She looked worried about him. His face was pale and his hands were clammy. "I'm sorry I made such a fuss. I just, I don't know. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to." She hoped he wouldn't accept this, she was far to interested now, but thought she should offer him an out anyway.
James gave a wry smile. "And that wouldn't bother you in the least?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly and Lily coloured slightly.
"Well…" She trailed off and James gave her a knowing smile.
"I have to tell you sometime and I suppose now is as good a time as any. Besides, otherwise you'll just get like this next time and it will start all over again." James said.
"Next time?" Lily asked, intrigued.
James ran him fingers through his already messed up hair to calm him. Lily watched in amusement and hid a smile.
"Okay. Just… hear me out okay?" Lily nodded and watched him intently.
"Well, I suppose I should start with where I was since that seems to be the most important issue. At the moment. I was with Sirius, Remus and Peter. We went to the Shrieking Shack."
"The Shrieking Shack?" Lily asked in surprise. She hadn't expected that. "But you can't get in there. It's all boarded up!"
James nodded. "Lily, this is the Marauder's you're talking about. You really think that would stop us?" James asked with a small smile. Lily couldn't help a small grin herself. "And besides, there's a secret passage into there."
"Where?" Lily blurted curiously.
"The Whomping Willow. There's a knot at the base of the trunk which you can prod with a long stick and it stops moving. Once you get close enough you can see a tunnel leading under there. That tunnel leads right into the Shrieking Shack."
James paused for Lily to digest this bit of information.
"Why did you want to get into the Shrieking Shack? And how did you know about the knot?"
James looked down at his hands. That was the easy part. This was where it got complicated.
"We've gone there every month since 5th year. Sort of a tradition I guess you could call it." The quizzical expression on Lily's face showed that she was very confused. James supposed it was time to stop stalling and just tell her the hardest bit. Well, one of the hardest bits.
"And the reason we go there every month is because… is because…" James stopped for a minute to take a deep breath. Despite having Remus' agreement he still felt like he was betraying his trust somehow. This shouldn't be his thing to tell.
Lily stayed quiet. She seemed to notice how much James was struggling.
"Is it dangerous?" She asked quietly, knowing the answer in the back of her mind but not really wanting to.
James nodded. "A bit."
He took another deep breath before he continued. "We go there every month, all four of us, whenever Remus is sick." Lily nodded. She, like the rest of the school, noticed how sickly Remus always was, however she still looked confused. Why wouldn't Remus just go to the hospital wing? And why was he always sick so often?
"Remus is a werewolf." James blurted. He had hoped to give his friend a bit more of a graceful telling than that but that was the best he could manage. Lily sat in shocked silence. Her jaw dropped and her hand was clapped over her mouth. She uttered a small gasp but other than that, continued to stare at him with wide eyes. James couldn't take it anymore.
"I know you must think he's a monster but –" James said in a defensive rush before Lily interrupted.
"Of course not!" She seemed to have found her voice and she looked shocked. "No one can deny that he is extremely dangerous when he is in his werewolf form but he's still just the same old Remus. What kind of a person would judge another on some unfortunate condition they happen to possess but have no control over?"
James laughed. "You are amazing Lily, you really are. You can look at someone without judging them, and the faith you instil in people is astounding. You can always manage to find the good in everyone. Even scum like that greasy haired git Snape." James said with distaste.
They lapsed into silence again. "How long?" Lily asked eventually.
"He got bitten when he was pretty young. He never told us but we eventually figured it out." James answered. He was far from feeling like a weight had been lifted from his chest it was only a matter of minutes before she asked –
"But what has Remus being a werewolf got to do with you?"
James looked away from her again. As selfish as it sounded, this was the part he was reading most. He knew, just knew that she would be mad. Tell him how irresponsible they all were. How dangerous it was.
"Every month Madame Pomfrey takes him out to the Whomping Willow to transform. And every month me, Sirius and Peter go too."
Lily look horrified. "But you can't! He could bite you or… or… kill you! How on earth do you –?" She broke off with a strange expression. A memory, clear as day suddenly drifted across her mind. A memory that she hadn't thought about since, that had held no significance, until now.
It was a beautiful night, the sky was clear and the bright moon cast an eerie glow across the frosty grounds. Just as she turned to head into the Entrance Hall, something caught Lily's eye. A beautiful stag stood by the frozen lake staring directly at her, bathed in moonlight. Its dark coffee coloured coat glowed brilliantly but something about its eyes struck Lily. They looked so familiar yet she couldn't place them. But before Lily could get a better look at the magnificent animal it turned its antlered head and cantered off into the distance.
"Prongs." She whispered. It all made sense now. Everything fit. James watched her in apprehension, not catching what she had said.
"Prongs." She said a bit louder and James looked at her in alarm. And suddenly he remembered too. Just before Christmas. She wasn't supposed to see him but he couldn't resist moving out of the shadows to watch her.
"Does Dumbledore know?" James swallowed hard. He couldn't look at her.
"Dumbledore and all the other staff know about Remus. Dumbledore was the reason that Remus was allowed to go to school here at all. Snape found out after he glimpsed Remus after a stupid tip off from Sirius but Dumbledore swore him to secrecy." James' mouth turned bitter. Snape. God how he hated him!
"Snape knows?" Lily gasped in surprise.
James nodded. "It's a long story." Lily nodded in understanding and waited for James to continued, but he didn't. Maybe if he didn't mention the rest she would forget, he thought hopefully. No such luck.
"But what about… what about you all being… illegal animagi?" The way she said it made it sound so much worse. James talked to the carpet.
"No one knows except us four. Five now including you." Suddenly he looked deadly serious. And very worried. "You can't tell anyone Lily. Even Marly. No one can find out. About any of it. No matter what, you can't breathe a word." James said sternly.
Lily looked indignant all of a sudden. "Of course I won't tell!" She said fiercely.
"But… what do you do? How do you get there? How come no one has found out before now?" She still couldn't get her head around everything she had found out.
"Once Remus is safely in the Shrieking Shack, the rest of us join him. We sneak down to the Whomping Willow under my… er… under my invisibility cloak." Lily raised her eyebrows questioningly. "Family heirloom." James muttered as explanation.
"When we're all transformed, we… um… break Remus out of the Shack and run around the countryside. I don't think any other student has ever or will ever learn more about the Hogwarts grounds and Hogsmeade than us." James said proudly. However, Lily was clearly still a few steps behind him and still in a state of shock over the idea of a fully fledged werewolf roaming the countryside every month.
James figured he'd better get explaining quickly. "I don't expect you to understand Lily. You can't possibly. You don't know what it's like for Remus, before he had us. It was horrible. He bit and scratched himself; he was a mess after every full moon. He's only a danger to humans and he needed us. We help him. We really do. And –"
"Despite the dangers, you want to help him. He's your friend. There's nothing you wouldn't do for him. Any risk, any danger, it's all worth it to make it less painful for him. I know. I do understand." Lily finished off quietly. James looked at her in amazement. No yelling. No ranting of how irresponsible they were. Just pure understanding and acceptance.
"You really understand?" James asked in disbelief. He was still reeling form the shock of the absence of yelling or at least disapproval.
"I really do." Lily said simply with the ghost of a smile. James moved over to her and wrapped his arms around her. She snuggled her head into his chest and he kissed the top of her head lovingly.
"Can I see?" She asked suddenly. James lifted his head in surprise.
"See what?" He questioned confusedly.
"Your animagus forms. All of you. I want to see." She explained, her eyes now alight with interest. James chuckled softly.
"Okay." Standing up he took her hand. Without another word she followed him all the way to the common room and up the stairs to the boys' dormitory. Remus, Sirius and Peter were all inside playing exploding snap. They looked up in surprise and curiosity when James entered the room with Lily in tow.
Remus looked at her uncomfortably but Lily smiled reassuringly. "It's okay Remus. I don't think of you any differently. You're just the same old Remus to me than you always were and nothing will change that." Remus smiled back.
"Lily, may I introduce to you Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs." He grinned mischievously and the others seemed to understand. They too grinned happily, a mischievous glint in each eye.
"Wormtail, you first." Peter nodded and looked shy but complied nonetheless.
Suddenly, where the boy had been sitting was now a rather fat grey rat. He looked decidedly ordinary as his nose twitched and he sniffed the air hopefully for food. Wormtail scampered over to Lily and ran across her feet. She squealed in fright and leapt away to gales of laughter from the other boys.
And before she could see where he had gone, Peter was now sitting on the other side of the room smiling nervously.
"Now you Padfoot." James ordered with a grin.
Sirius transformed and a huge black dog now sat in his place. His long pink tongue lolled around in his mouth and his tail thumped the ground as he wagged it merrily. It was so Sirius that it fit. He barked happily and Lily laughed out loud. It sounded just the same as his laugh.
Bounding across the room Sirius started chasing his tail round and round in circles. He yipped in pleasure and Lily laughed again at the obvious delight he had in his animal form. Looking up at her with big ebony eyes, Sirius bounded over to Lily, raising his two front paws to place on her shoulders.
He weighed a tonne and she stumbled under his weight but laughed all the same. She was relieved when he sat back on the floor and closed his eyes in contentment as she scratched him behind his ears.
With a last woof, Sirius retreated and transformed back. Now sitting there he was still grinning with so much likeness to the dog that had been in front of her second before.
"And you James?" Lily asked. James looked surprised.
"But you've already seen me."
"Only a few hundred meters away. Go on, it's your turn now." She pleaded and without further argument James transformed too.
The same magnificent stag she had seen once before stood in front of her. So proud and noble. It fitted James so perfectly and she was completely entranced with the beautiful creature.
"Wow." She whispered softly as she extended a hand towards the stag. It bowed its head gracefully and walked towards her outstretched hand. Nuzzling its silky nose into her hand, Lily giggled and petted James' nose gently.
"Couldn't you do that in private?" Sirius interrupted loudly, a good natured grin covering his face. The stag moved away from Lily and made his way towards Sirius. It let out soft snuffling noise and bent its head. The crown of tall, strong antlers made contact with Sirius as Prongs nudged his head reprovingly at Sirius and bucked him with his antlers. Sirius glared and the stag backed off and too, transformed into human James.
Lily was still smiling but her head was spinning painfully with all the news. She still couldn't quite comprehend all of it or digest all of it. Remus a werewolf… the other three illegal animagi… an invisibility cloak… what else were they hiding?
Voicing her thoughts Lily asked, "So, what other secrets do you have up your sleeves?" She said jokingly but her expression changed when all four boys shifted guiltily.
"Well," James started. "There's one thing left." He turned to the others.
"This is our pride and joy, all of our many talents combined into one exquisite artefact." Sirius continued proudly.
Remus whipped something from the pocket of his robes. "This is the Marauder's Map." He said dramatically and proudly held out a blank piece of parchment. Lily looked at it questioningly.
"A blank piece of parchment?" She asked quizzically. The boys all looked outraged.
"How could you say that?" Sirius questioned indignantly, sounding as if she had just thrust a knife into his chest.
"Lily, this is so much more than a 'blank piece of parchment' as you put it. Here you are looking at all of Hogwarts' secrets and wonders condensed into one object. A map of Hogwarts like no other. I solemnly swear I am up to no good." Remus tapped the parchment and black lines began to appear.
Lily watching in fascination and her eyes grew wide with awe. "This is absolutely amazing!" She praised, turning the map over in her fingers and examining it carefully, watching the tiny dots moving around.
"How did you do this? That's some advanced magic there. I really underestimated you Marauders. You are brilliant!" Lily exclaimed, still awestruck.
James look affronted. "It took you seven years to figure that out?"