Chapter 25 – Following

I had made a joke about him joining the swim team, but I never thought in a million years that he'd actually do it. Hell, I never thought he'd return to school at all, but there he was, standing on the little platform thing and ready to dive into the water.

Edward was the only competitor without goggles or a swim cap, and he was the only one who wasn't wearing a Speedo. His swimsuit was just a black standard pair of swim shorts, which weren't even tight fitting. His hair was his usual messy mop on top of his head, and I quickly realized that I wasn't the only one who found that incredibly sexy.

And his body….his perfect body put all the other guys there to shame.

"SET!" the coach called. All of the guys got into position, but Edward was uninformed of the rules and procedures of the sport so he stayed standing casually.

There was a loud noise, and suddenly the guys jumped off their platforms with their bodies in perfect tight lines as they flew through the air until they were submerged under the water, but Edward jumped in after them in a far less elegant way. I never taught him to dive, so it looked like he watched the others do it first and then he tried to copy them. It was messy, but efficient enough.

My stomach twisted in knots.

I didn't know why he was doing it, but I was nervous for him; I just didn't want anyone being mean to him and I was prepared to punch out anyone who tried. But as the race continued, the crowd started getting excited when Edward picked up speed. His late start had pushed him far into last place, but by the second lap he was more than catching up. His form was horrible and he didn't do the little underwater flip thing at the wall when changing directions, but it didn't matter, he was fast…so much faster than everyone else in the race.

By the third lap he was neck and neck with the lead swimmer, and by the last lap he was a full yard in front. He made winning look easy, and regardless of how athletic the others were, they looked slow and weak in comparison.

The crowd was going crazy, the coaches were astonished, and I was in utter shock.

"Man, think what that boy could do with a little training!" I heard the head coach say as Edward and the other swimmers got out of the pool.

"I don't know, he's really rough technically," Mike argued. "He may never have what it takes."

"I don't give a shit what his mechanics are. That kid is gold right there!" a third coach said excitedly.

Edward had yet to notice me sitting there with my mouth just as far open as all the other pathetic girls in the room, but as he took a towel from the rack, he randomly glanced back and we locked eyes.

I expected him to walk over to talk to me, I expected him to smile and shrug sheepishly, I expected him to give me a glimpse of the carefree guy that I loved so much, I expected a lot of things, but instead he kept his face hard before turning and heading into the locker room.

"Oh my god, now we can all breathe," Jessica said way too loudly. "Who was that Adonis of a man?"

"I've never seen him before," another girl replied.

I would have answered them, but something made me bite my tongue. Did I forget how to speak?

"I'm going to go ask Tyler," Jess said before running towards the swimmers.

Jessica was just gone for a minute before walking back with the dumbest expression on her face…and she kept her eyes glued to my forehead.

"Well, what's his name?" one of the girls asked impatiently.

"Edward Cullen," Jessica replied without breaking her stare on me.

The girls were all speechless and turned to stare at me like they were starving wolves and I was hiding a piece of meat.

"That's your baby daddy?" one finally blurted out.

"It's amazing what a little island sex can do," another chuckled.

I had no idea who any of those girls were besides Jessica, but they obviously knew me and knew my story, which made me uncomfortable and also almost territorial in a way that I never expected.

"Yes, he's my daughter's father," I said a lot more strongly than I planned. Oh god I could already feel it - the insane jealousy as the salivating skanks plotted their moves on my Edward. It was literally making me fume as hateful heat flooded my face.

I really needed to get out of there before I exploded.

"Where are you going?" Jessica asked as I walked towards the exit.

I didn't answer her, and if she got too close I may have to claw her eyes out.

I couldn't believe how I was feeling. It was stupid and irrational, and for the life of me I couldn't turn it off. I never had to worry about other girls with Edward before, and the fact that I had no idea what his motives for being there were just made it worse.

I needed to talk to him and it couldn't wait any longer, so I did the only thing I could think of, I stood outside the boy's locker room to make sure I didn't miss him.

A few guys came out first, each smiling and making stupid faces at me, but I just scowled and rolled my eyes hoping they'd get the hint to leave me alone. And then finally Edward emerged, shocking me yet again.

I wasn't sure what I thought he'd be wearing, but since I had only seen him in sweats since we left the island, I was more than pleasantly surprised to see him in perfectly fitted jeans and a black V-neck sweater. His hair was already almost dry and set in what looked like a controlled chaos, and he had a pair of expensive looking sunglasses hanging from his collar. God, he was gorgeous. I mean, he looked great in anything, but he was especially sexy dressed like that and it made me even more anxious. What was he doing there?

Edward and I locked eyes and then he took a few more steps closer to me.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

He frowned in disapproval before shooting me his most adorable half smile. "Happy birthday."

"You decided to come to school and join the swim team as a birthday present to me?" I asked incredulously.

"No…coming here was a sort of a…last minute decision."

"Huh?" I asked confused.

Without warning, he closed the remaining distance between us and planted his mouth to mine. His kiss was once again, angry and possessive, but it also felt incredible and I almost whimpered when he pulled away.

"Ok, we need to talk," I told him, desperate to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. I grabbed his hand and pulled him to a more obscured part of the campus, and swore to myself that we wouldn't move again until everything was out in the open. "Now, what's going on?"

"Lunch is over soon, I have class," he protested lightly.

"Edward, whatever is happening between us is really terrifying me, and we can't fix it if we don't know what's wrong."

"Fine, if you want to do this here, then here it'll be…. I've been spending a lot of time thinking about this, and I've finally accepted the fact that we've grown apart," he said abruptly, making my chest constrict. "Or maybe we were never really together in the first place. I mean, we didn't choose to be on that island, we were forced there and we turned to each other out of desperation and loneliness...We would have never been together if we weren't stranded and we shouldn't have to spend the rest of our lives paying for an accident. We have responsibility to Em, but not to each other."

My heart was racing and I felt like I was going to be sick - Was he breaking up with me? The mere thought of not being with him anymore made me panic. "You don't know that," I argued, desperate to change his mind. "Maybe we could have gotten together a different way…forced to be partners in bio, or something. We would have found our way to each other eventually."

He shook his head slowly. "No, we wouldn't have, and that's ok… As much as I didn't want it to be true and I refused to admit it, deep down I knew the moment we returned that it was only a matter of time until we realized how wrong we are for each other."

"We're not wrong for each other," I whispered, feeling like I was being strangled and couldn't speak any louder.

"Bella, I hate everything about being away from the island. I was never like you, I never fit in anywhere, I never had friends, I never knew how to talk to people. Then we washed up on that island and it felt… right… like that was how normal should be." He took a deep breath. "When we got back I just wanted to hide away in the house and try to hold on to whatever time we had left together until the world came in and tore us apart. But it happened so much faster than I was prepared for, and you just…made this decision to return to school and I knew that was it. You were moving on…and I just couldn't so I got angry and resentful. So I made the decision to let you go."

I shook my head with tears forming in my eyes. "I don't want you to let go. I was just going to school to set a good example for Em; I was trying to move on with life, not move on from you."

"Don't," he said gently. "Don't be upset, the last thing I want to do is make you cry."

I laughed once humorlessly. "You're breaking up with me, what do you expect?"

"No, Bella, no," he said quickly but gently. "I'm not breaking up with you, and I never would."

"You're not?" I asked, feeling slightly relieved but confused more than ever.

"No…I was just explaining to you how I was feeling. I have been preparing myself for what I figured was the inevitable…you finding someone else."

"What?"

"Bella, the people we were before…"

"I don't want to be the person I was before," I interrupted, feeling completely defeated. I felt like I had been fighting my past all day, and it seemed like a losing battle.

"All I'm saying is that we were one way before, and on the island we were different. Now that we're back, we have no idea who we're going to be or if we'll still feel the same way for each other."

"So…"

"Look, since you decided to go to school, I've been trying to prepare myself for you finding someone else," he said again. "Someone who better fits the person you're going to be next. But….I thought I'd have more time with you. Today's your birthday, so I pushed all that crap to the side and decided to spend the day just…trying to make you happy. So I got up extra early and bought some doughnuts…. 'cause I remembered you saying how much you liked them.

Oh, no… "Edward," I whispered, already knowing what he was going to say next. "I can explain…"

But he put his hand up to stop me.

"I bought one of everything because I had no idea what you liked, and then I strapped the box to my bike and rode it over to your place. But when I got there, you weren't alone."

Fucking Jacob! – I thought to myself. "That wasn't anything."

"Can I just finish?" he asked slightly irritated. I nodded so he continued. "I had been preparing myself for you to leave me and find someone else…but when I saw you with that guy, no matter what you were doing, I got a flash of what it would be like to really lose you, and…" he shook his head slightly. "I can't do it. Bella, I can't lose you."

"You're not going to lose me…ever," I told him with a new round of tears.

"The thing is, I haven't really given you a reason to stay with me. I've been stupid and detached, but today I had a wakeup call and now I know what I have to do….I'm going to fight for you. I'm not going to just let you go or give up, I'll do whatever it takes to keep us together, and if that means going to this hell hole, then that's what I'm going to do."

"And join the swim team?" I asked absently, still in a daze from everything he just said.

He laughed. "You told me I should. Besides, the school counselor said it would look good on a college application…. It was just a lucky coincidence that tryouts were today."

"Why did you look upset when you saw me there?"

He sighed. "I didn't want you to know I was doing it. I mean, I would have told you if I made the team, but I certainly didn't want you there to watch me make a fool of myself."

"But you were angry?"

"I wasn't angry. Well….I guess today I learned something about the new civilized Edward."

I couldn't help but smile. "And what's that?"

He looked away for a minute, and then back at me sheepishly. "I'm a fairly jealous person. I really hated you there watching all those naked guys. Why were you there anyway?"

I took a deep breath then explained how I got dragged in there, which he found rather amusing. "You know, it is ok to tell people no."

"I just…I don't want to be that bitch I was before."

"There's a difference in being a bitch and just standing up for yourself."

"To be honest, I just really wanted her to take me home because I also had a revelation today, and I needed to tell you as soon as possible."

"But I was here."

"I obviously didn't know that," I said, suddenly feeling nervous again.

"You have your cell phone, right? Why didn't you just call my mom or Renee?"

I huffed. "Because I'm an idiot and that would have been the smart thing to do," I said frustrated with myself. "Talk about me leaving you? You should have seen all those girls drooling over you, it's only a matter of time before someone attractive and smart comes along and tries to get with you."

"Oh, Bella," he said before unexpectedly wrapping his arms around me. "When will you ever see yourself clearly?" he murmured into my hair.

My hands automatically searched out the skin under his shirt, and once again I could breathe again. As the surrealistic daze of our conversation finally began to recede, I realized just how close we had come to losing each other, and it absolutely terrified me.

"I don't care if you go to school or stay home every day for the rest of our lives, I'd never want anyone else."

"Well, we can't predict the future, but I'm done taking a passive approach to our relationship."

"I love you," I mumbled into his chest while squeezing him tighter. I didn't even plan on saying it like that, I wanted to work my way up to it and explain everything I had told Jacob, but at that moment, it just flowed out of me and felt completely natural.

And, of course, he didn't understand me because of the way my face was pressed against his shirt. "What?" he asked lightly.

I pulled back just enough to look up at him. "I love you…so much, and I realized today that I never told you that."

He smiled at me emotionally. "We never needed to tell each other that," he said unexpectedly. "We always just…showed it."

My chest tightened again, except this time it was in the best possible way. He had felt the exactly way that I had all along, which just reaffirmed that he was wrong - we were perfect for each other.

"But I love you too," he added. "And wherever you go, I'm going to follow. Whether it be to school or to the ends of the world. I'm so sorry Bella, for ever giving up, but it'll never happen again."

"I'm the one that's sorry. The way I treated you before…it's no wonder you didn't want to come back to school."

"Ok, look," he said, pulling away and holding me at arm's length. "What we were before doesn't matter, and we can't focus on our island lives anymore either. You were right to move on…and we're going to figure it all out together."

"Promise me," I challenged him, knowing he'd never back down from a promise.

He smiled. "I promise."

I grabbed him again and kissed him, which he returned passionately. It was an extremely intense kiss, but it was also happy and almost carefree at the same time. We finally talked and everything was out in the open, and I felt light and stronger than ever.

"I think lunch break ended awhile ago," he said against my lips while we continued to kiss.

I locked my hands behind his neck. "I don't have any classes after lunch," I reminded him between kisses. And then I pulled back to look at him again. "Why do you?"

He shrugged. "I figured that Em usually takes a long nap in the afternoons so it would be a good time to get some classes in while she sleeps."

Once again, I was an idiot. "Why didn't I think about that?"

"Because you've been overwhelmed and maybe even shell-shocked. You're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for, but you're also so damn stubborn that you refuse to slow down even when you need to…. I've left you alone in all this, but I'm here now, and I'm going to make sure you don't completely wear yourself out. Moving on is necessary, but we can take our time with it, and we need to."

I nodded and held him again. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too," he said softly.

"Liar," I said with a smile.

"No, I am glad to be here…with you."

"I love you," I told him, thoroughly enjoying the way the words sounded on my tongue.

"I love you, too," he replied with a grin. "Now let's go to the office."

"Why?" I asked confused.

"Because I need a late slip, and you need to move your schedule around."

"Oh, what are you taking? I want to be in your classes," I said excitedly as he put his arm around my lower back and began leading us towards the office.

He smiled sheepishly and then turned his head away to try to hide it.

"What?" I pressed.

"I'm retaking Marine Bio 2."

I pulled him to a stop. "What! You're kidding, right?"

"Nope… I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I wanted to go on to Marine Bio 2 as a sophomore…I'm sure I would have really liked it too if I got to actually finish the class…But they did stop doing the trips because of a certain student who fell off the boat a couple years ago, so it won't be as cool."

I giggled. "Well, I took Marine Bio 1 freshman year because I found out Marine Bio 2 classes got to go on a trip," I joked. "If they're not doing the trips anymore than I have no desire to retake the class."

He shrugged. "It may be a pretty easy A for you. I mean, you lived it."

"True… and I could always aggressively persuade you to do my homework for me."

"Aggressively persuade?"

"You know, by withholding sex."

He laughed. "You could never do that, you're hornier than I am."

"Yeah…well, maybe I'll just be on top and force you to hold still by tying you up. We both know how you hate having to hold still."

"Please, you couldn't tie me up even if you wanted to. Maybe you missed the way I kicked everyone's asses in the pool just now, but trust me, I'm pure muscle baby."

"I don't have to trust you, I know from experience," I said suggestively. "Speaking of which, I'm fully expecting to get laid tonight…it is my birthday, after all."

"Actually, I have plans for tonight," he said cryptically.

"What kind of plans?" I asked anxiously.

"That's for me to know and you to find out later."

"Does it have anything to do with eels?"

"Ha, you wish."

...