.
The Nominated Works
BEST QUOTES
And you may vote for as many as you want!
Note: the numbers listed are purely to make it easier for you. They have no value at all.
If you want to know where the quotes come from, you'll have to visit the PBA website!
.
1
Another change of the channel.
TV, the digital frontier, I mused. These are the voyages of the U.S.S. Flatscreen…
.
2
"Colonel! It's the plot bunny! He's escaped!"
"Impossible! No one escapes from Stala... What am I saying?"
.
3
"Colonel Klink has fallen down the well!"
Hogan stared at the man, figuring that in this universe, Lassie needed to lose weight.
.
4
"Gee, a guy tries to be a good enemy and we end up doing the Krauts a favor."
.
5
"Goodnight, dad."
Hogan looked to see if Newkirk had come in the room behind him,
but the Englishman was not there, so Lizzy must be addressing him.
His chest did that funny thing again.
.
6
He thought back over the crazy events of the last couple of days.
If he was going to end up killing one of his mates, he wanted to make sure he killed the right one...
.
7
Hogan was quite proud of his cover story for Klink, that Carter had fallen victim
to a latent case of North Dakota sleeping sickness.
He even convinced Klink that South Dakota's sole purpose was to make sure
North Dakota's populace didn't all fall asleep while smoking in bed and set the state on fire.
.
8
"How are you so good at this? You ought to be too small."
"I've never been too small for anything."
.
9
"How many times do I have to tell you?
There will be no killing in my café. I can't afford to drive away any customers.
If you want to kill Germans, you must do so on your own time."
.
10
"I can hear your heart beating.
And I swear to you all of our hearts will still be beating when the war is done.
The eagles will fly into the dawn."
.
11
"If it was raining soup, I'd only have a fork."
.
12
"If this continues much longer,
I could be the first Allied officer to commit Hari Kari by Pickelhaube."
.
13
"I may still die, but I can do so in a clean uniform."
.
14
"I still think it makes you look like an old man."
"Better an old man than a Frenchman."
"Hey!"
.
15
"It's like that saying Schultzie taught me, 'The fish starts stinking at the head.'
I know the Germans like him and all, but he's not a good guy,
and if you ain't got a good guy in charge, what hope have ya got, win the war or not?"
.
16
"Newkirk, today I watched a simple plan spiral into a riot,
handled an explosion with my jacket, helped the kommandant out of the well,
and gave a dog the Heimlich. It's not even 10.
My point is: don't ever let me let you take Klink's boots again."
.
17
"Next guy who thinks it's funny to put on a red shirt and go on a recon mission can go jump off a cliff!"
.
18
"No. We're not going to put him together with another bunny.
That's not asking for trouble – that's pleading for trouble."
.
19
"Now I'm off to do the easy work of today.
Talk the Krauts into releasing Carter, talk a Cockney thief out of being an arsonist,
and talk a disgruntled crew of misfits into not being quite as misfitted as usual. Easy stuff."
.
20
"Our barracks, sir? They've never been in our barracks, sir.
It's forbidden for coloreds to share a barracks with whites."
.
21
"Remember President Klink's famous slogan? 'Don't think, vote Klink!'"
.
22
"Schultz, I give you my word as a gentleman, an officer,
and most importantly, as an enemy. I will not escape."
.
23
"That's why I have this complaint about the paint being eaten off my staff car,
when one of your men poured a bucket of homemade vodka over the hood."
"Well, it does look like water, sir … it's an understandable mistake."
"It was on fire at the time, Hogan."
.
24
"The hard part was digging them out and giving the General the breath of life.
Yuk. Don't ever taste a General if you don't have to."
.
25
"The water has broken through the fourth wall."
.
26
Unbeknownst to Hogan, the other POWs were…
well, they weren't exactly 'awed' or 'amazed', per se.
Maybe 'unpleasantly surprised' was a better description.
.
27
"When you go to serve that ball, just imagine it's Hochstetter's face."
.
28
"You ignored the primary rule of pranksters, Robbie."
"What's that?"
"Don't get caught."
.
.
And now – finally – on to the most prestigious category of all: the best story of 2016...
Go check them out!