Constantly, boy you played through my mind like a symphony

There's no way to describe what you do to me

You just do to me, what you do

And it feels like I've been rescued

I've been set free

(Renesmee's POV)

Bright rays of sun flooded my vision as I opened my eyes, I groaned and covered my face with my arm. What happened? My head pounded lightly, I rubbed my temple momentarily and closed my eyes again.

My eyes flew open as I sat up straight in the bed I was laying it. I let out a small whimper as everything painfully came back to me, hitting me like a brick wall.

My hand covered my mouth, "Oh my God . . . " I looked down at my hip and lifted the fabric of my night gown frantically. I saw a patch of gauze covering it. I pulled the medical tape off and then the gauze, my eyes widened further.

It was gone, there was nothing there - it was gone.

Holy shit, it was gone.

And I was alive.

My mind raced, where was Jacob? Jacob was always here - surely he would be here!

Where's my Jacob?

I pushed the covers off of myself and scrambled off the bed. I ran to the door and flung it open, I raced down the stairs, calling out his name. "Jacob! Jake!"

"Renesmee!" My grandmother shrieked. I felt her stone cold arms encircle me from behind.

"Where's Jacob?" I questioned, turning towards her with wild eyes,

She pulled away from me, and gave me a happy look. "Carlisle found the cure just as you were - " She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "It was something none of us would have guessed, but dried, ground up wolfspane cures a bite for a vampire, or a half vampire like yourself." She said, changing the subject at hand.

I choked on the air I was trying to inhale, "How the hell did we get wolfspane?"

No - don't let her change the subject!

She shook her head, "Carlisle had used it as a last minuet resource. He didn't think it would work seeing as how so many people make up ways it can be used. It was in one of his old books, Jacob and Edward went through every single one until your father found it in one of Carlisle's oldest books. It truly was a miracle." She brought me to her chest and hugged me tight.

"Where is Jacob?" I questioned once again, pulling away from her with confusion. She fell silent.

"Jacob and the rest of the family are gone - to fight."

My breath caught, my vision blurred and soon I fell back into darkness . . .

oOoOo

The sound of a whistling kettle on the stove brought me out of the dark. I rubbed my eyes and sat up gently, only to fall onto the wood floor. I groaned and laid face first on the floor, not feeling up to moving.

I didn't get to say good bye, any of them could die - and I was passed out for three days while they prepared to possibly end their life. I let out a chocked sob, they were fighting for their lives right now.

"Renesmee?" Esme called out to me in confusion.

"Why didn't you go?" I questioned,

"You needed someone to look after you, and I'm not much of a fighter." She said softly. I watched her feet as she made her way over to me. She placed her hands on me to help me stand but I stayed limp.

"No, I like the floor." I mumbled sadly,

She sighed, "They all wrote you letters." I pushed myself up and looked at her with wide eyes. "In the kitchen,"

I scrambled onto my feet and ran to the kitchen, I grabbed the thick pile of letters and looked for Jacob's. I found it and tore it open carefully.

Nessie,

The only reason you're reading this letter is because you weren't awake in time for our departure. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up, I wish I could have been.

There's a few reasons as to why I wrote this. But before I tell you those reasons, you've got to promise me one thing. No matter what happens, do not ever think about hurting yourself. I know you, Nessie. And that's one thing I'm positive that you'd do.

So don't even think about it.

Alright, so now that I've made my point - hopefully - I'll get to my reasons.

First, I want to apologize again for not being there with you. It kills me knowing I can't be holding you in my arms, keeping you safe right now. But at least I'm keeping you safe, miles and miles away.

Second, to tell you about how you scared the ever living shit out of me when I heard your heart stop. Just thinking about it again . . . it just - I can't even describe how painful it is to think about losing you. The fraction of a second when your heart stopped beating and you stopped moving, I crashed. Everything in me just broke. It was the most painful, heart wrenching thing I've ever felt. Your hand went cold and your eyes glassed over. I was so scared. But most of all, I was angry. I was angry at everyone, I yelled - I screamed . . . I cried, Nessie.

I don't cry, ever.

And for the first time in years, I cried. It was the second time I thought I had lost you, you don't know how scary that was. The second Edward found that damn flower and gave it to Carlisle to put on your bite, I had hope. As soon as that flower touched your bite, your heart started, you began to breath - I had never been so grateful of your dad. He saved your life and really, I have no clue how to repay him.

Carlisle, Edward and I were all kind of confused at how fast it worked. It was truly a miracle, and you know I don't believe in those kinds of things.

Third and finale reason, which really isn't a reason - I just had to tell you.

I let Edward kick my ass after we saved you.

That was just one of the ways I was repaying him. I deserved it for going against his wishes, but I don't regret it - at all.

If anything, I'm glad I went against him. I just wanted to show you how much I love you, and how much you mean to me.

Love you always, Jacob

I brushed my tears away as I looked at the letter again, tracing his messy scrawl with my finger tips.

Would I be able to do what he asks if I lost him? Would I be able to keep myself sane and alive if he ever . . . died?

I knew the answer, it wans't hard.

No.

It's short, but it get's the point across (: Thank you so much for all the reviews, can't wait till all you guys review again! :)