Aquarium: Crossroads
The sun debated rising over the horizon when Lanfen entered her code into the security door of the largest aquarium in Saherta. Technically, she was employed here for a short time. She'd also like to be able to come back. Now seemed like one of the few times to lawfully enter a building, even with Mister Criminal Mastermind at her heels.
Lan set off for the particular tank she wanted in. Nemmi went ahead, Nen body able to cheat around a few locked doors with a bit of swimming to reach the tank access point; he got to locate the snakes while he waited for them to catch up. She tried to not get distracted on the way by the shimmering fish in crystal blue water. The last time that happened, she was here for about twelve hours, taking pictures and simply watching. Might have been longer if Morel didn't drag her out.
The lack of another set of footsteps made her stop. She looked over her shoulder. Chrollo stood with his hands in his pockets, skin bathed in blue-hued light, as his eyes followed passing prism butterflyfish, their scales reflecting a rainbow of colors. His expression, she recognized it. He'd aimed it at her when they first met.
"If you stuff fish in your pockets, you're officially a kleptomaniac in serious need of help," she said, walking to stand beside him. He smiled slightly at the joke, attention still on the fish, their scales dancing with light. "They're prism butterflyfish. Their scales refract light like, you know, prisms. Schools use it to confuse predators."
"They're beautiful."
She shifted her weight, watching the fish swim instead of how colors reflected in his eyes. Leader of the Phantom Troupe, he had a concerning sense of beauty. One that often led to scores of corpses. She'd been avoiding the topic.
"Does the Spider often go after animals?" she asked, voice level with a false sense of indifference. It mattered. A lot. Even if she already knew the answer, understood the hypocrisy in liking him, she wanted to hear it from him.
"The answer will upset you," he said, glancing at her. A large shadow passed over them. "You might decide to feed my corpse to the sharks," he added as a timely shark swam along the glass.
She tried to glare at him, but she knew he already understood what she had actually asked. That she already knew his answer. His attempt at humor was to lighten the mood after a wordless conversation. He had noticed she didn't like tense silences- though she didn't understand why he would want to diffuse them for her sake. Lan looked back at the less threatening shark. "It was a serious question, Chrollo."
"We're thieves, Lanfen." His tone left behind any playfulness, seriousness darkening the space more than a shadow could ever hope. "We steal what others have already killed with few exceptions."
"Exceptions?" Damn yourself. That's what she wanted. She wanted him to tell the truth, even if it damaged the sparkling illusion of perfection he had created for her to admire. It meant more than the honest dishonesty game if he outright admitted it.
"I won't pretend we haven't been hunting," he answered, eyes softening when her hands clenched into tight fists.
Lan chewed on her lip, upset, of course, but not enough. Admitting that should have been enough to enrage her. This very subject had a body count attached to it, so why? Why did his expression quell some of that rage? Because he didn't even attempt to hide an ugly truth? Didn't defend his actions at all? "What about you?"
"I like beautiful, rare, things."
I condoned it, he may as well have said that aloud yet, still, she… If being a hypocrite made her awful, then this made her the worst thing in existence. Fury didn't find her, instead cancelled out by a hollow numbness that sank in heavy air. Did the truth matter that much to her? That even something infuriating lost its edge when so easily admitted to? And for her to believe Chrollo so easily… That, even if for just a moment, she forgot to consider it an act, a lie, did that mean she had already started to trust him?
"Lanfen," he began, and she prayed he offered her a distraction, "you're very attached to animals, yet rather indifferent towards humans."
Not the subject change she wanted. Too introspective. She had enough on her mind already. "They don't deserve it," she half-heartedly snapped, still too overwhelmed with the fact she'd allowed this to happen. Again. Despite all the effort, the suspicion, she'd managed to fail at one simple thing: don't trust him at all.
"I see. You view them as innocent. Magical beasts are occasionally intelligent enough to understand the concept of murder yet commit it. Are they also innocent?"
Her nails dug further into her palm. Why did he do this? She didn't want to think about morality, of why she did what she did, thought what she thought. Oblivion was blissful. But, at the same time, maybe she did need to put some consideration into it instead of running away. What… what he said a few days ago, about her being life-threateningly impulsive and dangerously distractible, for an act, he made her think he cared. Very rarely could someone point out her mistakes without… without her thinking of her father, making her rigidly defensive and adamant to do the opposite. Even Auntie had problems with her blowing off advice; she had almost given up completely during the party-girl phase.
Why did she want to listen to him? Again, she knew why, but wanted to deny it. She had lied to him. One person did call her out like he had, but such a long time ago, over childish issues not liable to end in death. His approach reminded her of her mother's. No accusations. No threats. No overly emotional response. Just a calm explanation of what she had done wrong and what she needed to work on, though he offered no possible solutions. And, oddly, even just that made her feel vaguely better.
That's what made her want to hate him. Underneath the lust, she might actually like him, and she shouldn't. This, whatever this was, would end with the crushing reality it had all been a lie, most likely as revenge towards Hisoka. If his aim was the manipulate her, of course he would act nice. Key word being act.
"Do you see yourself as a human or an animal?"
She froze, every muscle tensing, eyes wide. Silence made her answer obvious. Any amount of hesitation was abnormal. She should have spat out human immediately, but…
He took a step, closing the small gap between them to stand beside her. Lan focused on the floor, unable to meet his eyes after giving that away. Her nerves sung when he lifted his hand. Those same nerves betrayed her, quieting, relaxing as he lightly rested his hand on her shoulder. The gesture lasted an eternity compressed into seconds. "I'm the head of the Spider," he said, stepping away, his hand slipping from her shoulder, fading warmth a ghost compared to his touch.
Subtle solidarity, an I understand because I think the same, Chrollo… If this was all to get her to join the Troupe, all clever manipulation to get revenge against Hisoka… If the connection between them was a ploy… She couldn't feign anger because that truth would inflict miserable disappointment instead.
And, with unallowable hopefulness, if this wasn't a lie, she might want more than a night with him. Might feel more than lust for him.
A crossroads, and she had no idea which path held the truth.
For a couple of minutes, she trailed a behind him, collected herself, shoved down the emotions he had managed to dredge up to find rationality. When they got the item, when the Fan Shi were dead and gone, they would part ways. She wouldn't join the Troupe and she would keep herself from becoming a casualty to Hisoka's betrayal. Chrollo would just be a fantasy left to safely rot in 'what-if' land before he tried to kill her. Hisoka kindly taught her a lesson. She shouldn't ignore it. Even if Chrollo acted differently from Hisoka, they were the same. He'd use her and toss her aside just the same. Everything was just an act, because the alternative was too strange to be reality. An interesting reality. One she wanted to be true. Might be true…
That optimism really needed to die before it killed her.
The second she could maintain a neutral expression, she walked around Chrollo to retake the lead. He didn't know where he was going, anyway. This was her domain.
Once through a series of corridors and upon entering an area blocked from the public, they reached the tank access where the whale-paralyzer snakes were kept. Nemmi chirped happily, shuffling at the edge of the tank before pointing into the water. Good. One happened to be near the ladder instead of in the depths elsewhere. That meant less swimming and less swimming was always preferred.
When Lan stood at the tank's edge, Nemmi began glowering, his feathers rising before he let out an obnoxious caw. She sat down on the floor, unlacing her boots. Nemmi continued his noisy fit. "Nemmi, it's fine," she said, knowing he wouldn't be settling down otherwise. He knew what she was about to do. He glared at Chrollo, snapping his beak instead of hysterically screeching, just waiting for Chrollo to make one wrong move. An improvement. Barely.
She tried her best to ignore Nemmi's theatrics and Chrollo's stare. This had sounded like a better, less-flustering idea yesterday. The spotlight on her made her think otherwise. Especially as she kicked her boots aside, threw her vest and shirt on the floor, and undid her pants to begin peeling them off- because like hell she would be sitting in sopping wet clothes the rest of the day. While she had no problem stripping down to her underwear in front of Knuckle and Shoot- their faces got hilariously red whenever she did- to swim after an animal or cool down in tropical humidity, Chrollo was another matter. The most skin he got was what a pair of shorts and a tank-top didn't cover. If he wanted more, he would have to ask. She wanted him to. Though she shouldn't oblige. Though she stupidly might. Had she mentioned her very mixed feelings for him?
His absolute silence coaxed her into glancing over her shoulder. She couldn't resist looking for some reaction; it's not like she warned him before suddenly throwing her clothes aside. The disappointment of him looking unbothered bothered her. Until he not-so-innocently raised an eyebrow as if to question why she had paused to look at him. That little quirk of a smirk he gave as her eyes narrowed proved it. He didn't say anything because he knew she wanted him to, and, if she asked, it'd just prove how much she wanted a comment. Sassing her without even speaking… She internally groaned as she turned to face him, but fine. She'd bite the bait.
"Enjoy the show?"
"It's over?"
"Disappointed?"
"Perhaps." His eyes flitted over her in consideration, her heart stopping, heat rising to her skin. When his eyes returned to hers, grey clashing with brown, her heart instead began to pound against her ribcage. He wore a look eerily similar to I want to steal that, one that might simply be I want that. "Or, rather, I am," he said, his answer changed, his voice fractionally lower.
Lanfen whipped around to quickly climb into the tank, cold water very welcome for once. He could not just flirt back like this! Of course, that sounded more like an outright invitation to bed.
…
If they'd been in a hotel instead of an aquarium she probably would have snatched that invitation up without another thought.
Nemmi sounded ready to commit murder with that thought. To escape his noise, she searched the water below her for a black-white pattern broken by two small dots of red. Even better, she found a snake with a scar. She dived. When she popped back up, she had a meter-long snake in her hand, Lami wrapping her tail around her arm as she held her head- which felt rude, but she had learned her lesson. Nemmi reluctantly stopped screaming at her, angry aura and animals not a good combination. Especially when the animal in question happened to have a paralyzing bite and a rap sheet.
"You're in such a good mood today," she said to Lami, the small snake just lazily looking for a way down instead of writhing with rage and pain. "That plastic had you all sorts of angry, huh? Feel better now?" Slick scales now had a barely noticeable scar instead of raw and bloody flesh. Lan's hand found the ladder as she commented, "You certainly look better. All healed up and happy, you're such a pretty snake, Lami. You are."
The second she stepped out of the tank she remembered Chrollo existed in the same space. He definitely heard her baby-talking a snake. She ignored him, swiping her makeshift venom collection container off the ground.
The metal slam! of the employee door echoed in awkward silence.
"No one's supposed to be here this early," she mumbled, stepping towards Chrollo, leaving a trail of water as she juggled Lami and the container. Lack of skin-crawling aura at least hinted it wasn't Fan Shi for once. "We didn't trigger anything security-wise either." She may or may not have checked the aquarium's security system the last time she was here. You know, just in case someone else tried to break in. The place had rare sea creatures on display and she didn't expect a thief a level below Chrollo's caliber to just ignore that. A security system could at least dissuade them. "Neither did they, though." So maybe an employee just came in early for some reason. She could go talk to them, flash her license, and come up with a reason for being there. She held her arm out, Lami getting a bit more insistent about wanting down. "You can manage this right?"
Chrollo didn't immediately take Lami from her, so Lanfen tore her attention away from the snake. He stared at Lami with a hilarious amount of suspicion. When she offered him Lami again, taking a step closer, he actually took a half-step back. It took every bit of her crap self-control to not burst out laughing- that would startle Lami, after all, as Chrollo could probably use the blow to his enormous ego.
Instead, she ended up grinning, her voice laced with amusement. She didn't get the opportunity to tease him very often. "Do you not like snakes?"
"I prefer them to be at a distance," he said, eyeing Lami, but still infuriatingly calm for someone facing his fears. "Are you sure-"
"I can do it," she said, almost letting a giggle slip. Something about the leader of the Phantom Troupe being afraid of a tiny little snake made her day. And confused her, because that made him seem more human again, but it was mostly just funny. Sort of cute in a weird way, too. She really wondered, now, if she'd still like him this much after sleeping with him. If! If she slept with him.
"Who are you!?" The familiar loud, offended voice made her stomach drop, crushing her joy. She didn't need to look to know who was stomping towards them. A second set of heavy steps disturbed her false sense of calm entirely. Her reaction upset Lami, and she just barely moved the container in time for Lami's fangs to sink into it instead of her arm.
"Keep quiet," she ordered Chrollo as he gawked at the arrivals, witty remark on his tongue. She told them she was fine, that she just needed to know if Lami and Hydi were still at the aquarium or not! And, even if her texts very clearly told them where she would be, she didn't think they would be able to show up in time, damn it. What were they doing? Stalking her?
She whipped around as fast as she could while holding a venomous snake. "Knuckle," she snapped when his aura began to match his enraged, snarling face. "Stop or she'll bite me again!"
His stomping came to an abrupt halt, expression somewhere between incredibly taken aback and absolutely perplexed. Morel stopped next to him. His ridiculous sunglasses and rigidly neutral expression didn't hide his attention drifting from her to Chrollo.
"Lanfen?" Knuckle asked after a long moment of staring. She almost sighed because here it came. "What the hell happened to your hair?" he nearly shouted, pointing a finger at her. "And what are you wearing?"
"Trying something new," she said flatly, not wanting to explain her system of disguises and the patch of in-the-process-of-re-growing hair on her left side. Both were rather long, convoluted explanations. "Why are you here? I said I was fine." She even answered one of their phone calls just to reassure them of that! Sure, she chose to answer Shoot because he was a pushover unable to properly guilt-trip her, but that should have been enough.
"Like we believed that." Knuckle laughed when she rolled her eyes, but uncharacteristic seriousness quickly replaced mirth. "Those Fan Shi people are bad news."
"It sounded like more than you could handle alone," Morel cut in. "Sybil Delphi alone is a thorn in the Association's side." His attention was still on Chrollo, and she prayed he behaved better than Hisoka would in this situation. "Only reason she hasn't been ousted is that Rat," Morel muttered. "If the rest of the Fan Shi are like her, you're going to need some help."
"You… looked up the Paijin, didn't you?" she asked in disbelief. If they found information on the Fan Shi then it's inevitable that they also came across the Paijin. She told Knuckle to look them up as a shorthand explanation, too. The Paijin at their height were some of the worst human traffickers worldwide, the drug trade just a secondary interest. The Fan Shi were a mercenary offshoot from the Paijin that Fanghe used to eliminate her enemies and rivals while marketing them out as paid killers to anyone with deep pockets. That's what her name made her a part of. That's exactly the type of stuff people found reprehensible. What Knuckle and Morel should find reprehensible. She couldn't figure out why they were here, ready to help her. They didn't have a vested interest in the item like her other ally. They seriously couldn't consider her a friend worth dying for, right? They didn't know anything about her. Not really. Because she thought that was for the best.
"Hey," Knuckle began, "you might have come from that, but that isn't who you are now, right? You're a Hunter. A damn good one."
She forced herself to shake her head, answering his question with a lie while in truth dismissing his praise. She might not be carrying on the Paijin's legacy, but she certainly kept her family's immorality alive. She was not a good person. Chrollo Lucilfer standing at her side proved that.
To escape the moment, even if only briefly, she turned back to the tank. Lami restlessly wiggled about, swimming away the second Lanfen released her into the water. She slowly picked up the container's lid, ignoring Knuckle and Morel's stares as she screwed it on. When she handed it to Chrollo, her fingers brushing his in her sudden hurriedness, eyes fell back onto him, suspicion ever-present.
"I'm fine now," she reiterated, trying to pull their attention back to her. Chrollo was being surprisingly good about standing there silent. She wanted to keep it that way. "He's helping me with the Fan Shi." Morel stared at her, sunglasses somehow failing to hide his I know that's not the whole story look. "I also got my license back," she added, hoping to show she was actually completely in control of the situation.
"That's good news," Knuckle said, giving her a thumbs up. "You sounded convinced you'd never see again! How'd you get it back?"
Crap. She led herself right into another awkward conversation.
"You can share that another time." Morel's voice promised he wouldn't forget to ask again when there weren't more pressing issues. He turned to Chrollo, studying him, sizing him up, before introducing himself as, "Morel. Lanfen's teacher." He jabbed a thumb over his shoulder to point at Knuckle. "And my other apprentice, Knuckle."
Chrollo shot a sideways glance at her, her mortification at this point probably tangible, her picking at her top's hem not helping to hide her nerves. She did not want them to meet. She liked her Hunter life and her… criminal? life separate. Chrollo already knew too much about her, he didn't need to bridge this gap too.
She thought about whispering to him in Anchian, but that would make it obvious she was feeding him lines. A defeated shake of her head and he easily found his own plan.
"Chrollo," he answered pleasantly, a stunning fake smile on his face- his real smiles were subtler, emotion mostly reflected in his eyes. Even his tone shifted without a hint of it being a front. Oh, his acting was enviable. Yet, she could see through it right now. So, the rest of the time, maybe… "Lanfen's mentioned you in passing a few times. It's a nice to meet you," he continued, Morel and Knuckle still leery. Might be she just handed him highly toxic snake venom. Or, maybe it was her choice in men- Hisoka- that sent up red flags. Just then, she noticed she stood well within reach of Chrollo, the distance a lot closer than her preferred personal bubble. Knuckle and Morel had noticed, reading body language not much different from analyzing animal behaviors. They saw how comfortable she was with him. "Though, truthfully, we have the situation under control. My friends and I are regrettably familiar with the Fan Shi. Helping Lanfen has actually been a pleasure for us."
"You're just after the Paijin's item thing!" Knuckle quickly accused. Morel nodded, approving Knuckle's observation- and maybe the threat in his expression, too. "Of course someone without Nen would want it!"
"The item?" Chrollo broke character, actual amusement in his eyes as he glanced at her, though she doubted Knuckle caught it- Morel might have, sunglasses in the way of finding his line-of-sight again. "Is it that important?" He spoke to Lan instead of the other two, sounding offended, if a bit suspicious. An out! He'd given her an excuse, and she noticed in time to play along. She glared at Knuckle, pretending to ignore Chrollo as he complained, "You said it was something quite useless. A family heirloom, nothing more, and certainly mentioned no connection to Nen. Had you lied to me?"
That was enough for Knuckle to, at least, believe Chrollo was being helpful, not holding her hostage for the item. He aimed a silently apologetic look at her for spoiling a lie in a lie. A pang of guilt tried to beat at her because he shouldn't feel bad for their trickery when he was still miraculously trying to help her. The her that was a partial lie. He trusted her too much…
"No matter what it does, it's still mine at the end of this," she said, giving Chrollo no room to make fake demands in their made-up agreement. "Just be happy with getting revenge against them."
What might have passed as an awkward silence in the wake of a kept secret being let loose was definitely Lan fighting a smile at Chrollo's stupidly effective diversion while he tried to act like he didn't find the situation humorous. She wanted to slap him for that, but, at the same time, his sense of amusement, even at her expense, wasn't going to kill her. The moment felt like an inside joke shared between friends. Friends.
"Lanfen," Morel said, ending the strange lapse in conversation after looking between them again. He felt something off. About Chrollo, the situation, or maybe both. She had no idea what Knuckle had concluded about her friend Hisoka, but Morel had a better idea, the Hunter Exam a taste of Hisoka's particular crazy. He probably assumed she found herself in a similar tangle with Chrollo. He probably wanted to help her out of her own mess before he ended up with a dead sometimes-student. He was much, much too nice. The type to quickly forgive a former enemy. To forgive her. "I want a word with you."
"I…" She couldn't just brush this aside. He would only be more insistent about helping. "Okay, fine." They walked to the other side of the room, leaving Knuckle and Chrollo without babysitters- Lan dreaded finding out what Chrollo said that caused Knuckle to chuckle before launching into a story. "What?" she said in a heated whisper, pretending to be annoyed with Morel, while more concerned about leaving her travel companion alone with her coworker.
He leaned in conspiratorially, also speaking in a heated whisper. Morel, he left Knuckle as a distraction. No wonder Knuckle was acting so suddenly chummy with her questionable friend. "What have you gotten yourself into this time?" Her lack of answer made him pinch the bridge of his nose. He dropped his hand before he very seriously added, "I've got a bad gut feeling about that guy."
"Chrollo's… Don't worry about him." The classic dismissal made him more concerned. "On a scale of how likely someone is to kill me, he's a lot lower than Hisoka." Admitting the possibility of Chrollo killing her might, oddly, help the situation. It at least showed she recognized the possible danger Morel picked up on- an experienced Hunter's intuition was not something to be overlooked. "I promise that," she vowed, killing any hesitation in her voice as she looked Morel in the eyes. "I tru-" she faltered, catching herself with wide eyes. She had meant to tack on some comforting half-truth for Morel, not terrify herself. The first thing her mind conjured was that landmine. If that happened to be the first reason filed under reasons Chrollo won't kill me… No. No, she didn't. Trust just happened to be on her mind today is all.
"He and his friends can help me with the Fan Shi," she quickly substituted, damage done. Morel saw the oddness in that half-said word. "They're Nen-users. Strong ones, at that. A few have fought the Fan Shi before." Just please don't ask who they are.
"Are you sure you don't need our help?" The word our came out stressed. Morel might have rested a reassuring hand on her shoulder if she hadn't reinforced her personal space issues with them. Only them, considering Chrollo had done just that earlier. He had bypassed another boundary nearly unnoticed… She allowed him way too much freedom. Freedom he could use against her like Hisoka had.
"Positive," she lied.
A long pause filled the air as he debated whether to believe her or not. "All right. I'm going to trust your judgement," he leveled, not babying her, allowing her her precious freedom even if it came at a cost, "but if you need anything, anything, you call us. Got that?" A nod satisfied him enough that tense muscles relaxed, though just slightly. "You might be idiots, but you're my idiots." His words came as a slap to the face. Truly, she didn't deserve such inclusion. The lie, Lanfen the Hunter, might, but that wasn't really all of her. Just a disguise. "It wouldn't be right if I just let you get into trouble without trying to help you out of it."
She swallowed down guilt before muttering, "Thank you." Thank you for caring, even if just for a disguise. They, too, were an untouchable ideal on the opposite end of the spectrum from Hisoka. They would always be too good. They were the type of Hunter she had looked up to before the exam.
Lan walked away before Morel could come to his senses and demand to help. When she approached Knuckle and Chrollo, she heard the tail end of the story of her getting bit by Lami as she freed the snake from a tangle of plastic. Knuckle's words tapered off as she wordlessly passed them. She didn't have the energy to complain about an embarrassing story right now. She pulled on her clothes, not bothering to go take off her still wet tank-top and shorts.
Leaving. Running. It was all she wanted to do now.
"Where did you get that info on Lanfen's allies?" Joan asked as he leaned in the doorway of Minji's craft room from hell. The paperclip amalgamations were only slightly less creepy than the collection of archaic medical tools and a fuck ton more pleasant than the formaldehyde specimen jars. God knows what horrors were in the books lining the shelves.
A flicker of Nen and the paperclip she held straightened like the hairs on the back of his neck. Her aura was only a creep-factor below Sybil's, even if weaker.
She swiveled her chair to face him fully. "The Hunter site, using Sybil's license," she repeated, bending the metal into a delicate flower. Damn weird watching her make shit like flowers. Almost as weird as her wearing such a cheery yellow dress with flower print. "I regretted missing Lanfen's presence at Heaven's Arena." Like he believed that explanation, no matter how damn calm and flat her voice was. She set her hands in her lap, blindly continuing her art project while one dead grey eye bored into his damn soul. Did he look this creepy? With his right eye pulling closed under the scarring? He fucking hoped not. "Does this have something to do with Virgil and Sybil's delay in capturing Lanfen?"
They both might have faces twisted with scarring, but she was a cold, emotionless bitch to begin with. Virgil might be a lying little shit, but Minji, god, he could never get a read on her. He steered clear of her even back in Meteor City, especially after she crushed a few other kids under a husk of a car- smelled at his place for weeks. Sybil might be crazy, but Circe had to be absolutely insane to be dating this psychopath.
Were all manipulators this weird? Taakya hadn't been at Minji's level, at least. Too bad a Zoldyck bastard got her. Slit her throat open, left her bleeding out like they'd done to Minji. Then the bastard switched off the security in the building to start the massacre for real.
"Yeah," Joan laughed, "apparently she found herself a fucking escape artist."
Minji stared back at him, waiting for further explanation. Not a hint of a reaction beyond mild interest. Virgil said Sybil hadn't called anyone, but Minji could be sneaky. She could have hired this new menace for all he knew. With how suspicious he was with Paperclips and the witches, Minji knew better than to risk contacting blabbermouth. She also suggested Virgil to carry out the capture; could have been a ploy to make him drop his guard. This mystery ally could be her mole.
"Can't describe what Virgil only caught a fucking glimpse of," he lied, braving the room of horrors to walk in and sit on her desk. Virgil said the guy seemed familiar, but Joan couldn't use his vague description to figure out who it was. "Stink-bug's stupid glasses slid down his nose again."
"I offered to correct his eyesight," Minji muttered as she pushed her chair back and turned to face him again. Joan didn't blame Virgil for not getting surgery from Doctor Scalpel-Happy. Adalei said Minji didn't bother using anesthesia on her anymore; he wouldn't want to be awake if Minji decided to play with his organs. Screw that, even if they didn't feel pain.
"This chase is starting to go on a little too long. Virgil's ideas aren't cutting it." He clapped a hand on her shoulder, the metal prosthetic echoing dully in an otherwise silent room- god, he wished she'd play music or something to take the haunted house vibe down a notch. "Got any ideas?" he asked, because, if she wasn't trying to double-cross them to get the item and further tarnish Fanghe's memory or something, he'd admit she was a hell of a lot smarter than him in the planning department.
Lanfen grabbed his sleeve the second she had her clothes on. With a mumbled goodbye to her friends, she scurried away, pulling Chrollo along behind her. Even as she escaped the two Hunters' sight, she kept a tight hold on his sleeve. They began retracing their earlier path through the aquarium, Lanfen's pace nearing a jog in her bid to leave.
"They have no idea who you are, do they?"
"Of course they do," she responded too quickly, words devoid of emotion, too empty to be the truth.
"That's a lie."
"It's…" she trailed off, pace slowing to a walk. "I usually wear a disguise," she admitted, feeling obligated to answer by rule of their honest dishonestly pact. Or, more truthfully, obligated because he had been honestly answering her questions. Simple give and take, and it was her turn to give.
"You wear many." They stopped walking entirely, the shark from earlier passing over them again as they stood in silence. Her change in behavior, the disguises, her words to the Hunters, he understood why she refused to call her own allies now. "You desire friendship, but you are scared of driving potential friends away by being yourself, aren't you?" She kept a decent portion of her life hidden from them if they only recently learned about the Paijin. An important fact considering how heavily it had scarred her personality. She never shared that he had been the one to steal her license, either. She didn't want them to know she'd been in contact with the Phantom Troupe. She didn't want them involved in this aspect of her life.
Her grip switched from his sleeve to his wrist, her nails biting into his skin even through fabric. The fury on her face, in her eyes, she didn't like this truth. "Shut up!" she snapped, aura momentarily infected with bloodlust, the raw emotion crawling over his skin until she got control of herself. Her hand shook as she restrained herself from breaking his wrist. It'd be so easy without his Nen, she knew that, but she didn't want to injure him. For the fear of consequences or the simple desire to not hurt him, he didn't know. With her, it might honestly be both. "If this is just about joining the Phantom Troupe or some plot against- against…" Underneath the ire, he recognized the fear. She already knew her position, what he had to gain from using her. Why she still dropped her guard with him, played along with this game, he didn't understand that. Perhaps because it was for no rational reason at all.
"Are you pretending to be someone else with me?"
The question silenced her, the rage and the hurt set aside for consideration. A few words were all it took for her to reflect on herself. He wondered how being constantly self-aware felt. Neither of them seemed to know. They tended to avoid it unless spurred by someone else's questions.
Wide, unnerved, scared, eyes became her answer. She ripped herself away from his gaze to stare at the floor, grip on his wrist slackening.
"Chrollo," she began, "do you think you're human?"
"I'm the head of the Spider," he repeated his earlier words of comfort. That was how he defined himself. The Spider took precedence above all else. The Spider was his legacy. His family. His everything. Lanfen also wanted something, someone, because she was very much human, even if she thought otherwise. This longing, did that make him human as well? Being human, he disliked the connotation of it.
"Before that, what were you then?"
"Nothing."
His answer came so quickly, naturally, her lips parted without anything resembling a response. Then she did the unexpected, a single word question taking him off guard.
"Why?"
"Why?" he repeated. Why? Why was he nothing before the Spider? He had been searching for the answer to this question. Her past very much influenced her. Did his past influence him to such a degree? "Why was I nothing?"
A list came to mind. Most of it revolved around Meteor City. A city of outcasts, its residents, according to the outside world, didn't so much as exist. They, as a collective, were viewed as lesser humans. As living trash. Sometimes, simply, as nothing. Yet, no, it went beyond that.
"I suppose it's because we are oddities even by Meteor City's standards," he said, unsure, shoving his hands into his pockets to stare upwards at the fish rather than watch Lanfen's reactions.
After the mafia attempted to cleanse Meteor City, after the Council so severely failed to prevent the massacre, after it ended in a forced truce, they felt alone in their rage, in their mourning. What little they had had been stolen, leaving them without family or direction. "A sense of isolation?" The Phantom Troupe, its members, they were pariahs amongst outcasts. If the residents of Meteor City were less than humans, then, by extension, the Troupe, they weren't human at all. Yet that was still we not I.
"I don't know," he finally admitted. "I don't like talking about my motives. Observing others' actions is much easier than explaining my own." Except for hers. Because, while different, they were similar enough. She reminded him of himself. Her emotions may manifest differently, but her motives, at their core, were similar enough he could almost understand himself. "What of you, Lanfen? What do you think of yourself as?" Not human. She had already confirmed that. But did she feel she belonged to anything? Had an identity of her own? "A Paijin? A Hunter? Or nothing at all?"
She bit her lip, focus on the ground, as she thought. "I suppose I'm nothing," she whispered in defeated acceptance, her fingers slipping from his wrist.
It would have been a perfect moment to further his plan. To promise her that the Spider would offer her an escape from isolation, that they were what she wanted, needed, to whittle away at her resistance, to manipulate her, but, instead…
As she lowered her hand to her side, he reached out, his hand taking hers, gently, reassuringly.
Instead he tried to comfort her.
A/n: I present, the aquarium date! Or, a strange iteration of one with awful puns. It's all fun and games until someone catches feelings. Or both do. And it's a (hopefully weirdly cute) mess. Anyway, next chapter, it's… something, I promise that much :)
Thank you for reading!
Thank you to Alter Ego Bob for reviewing again!