Chapter 25 -

Figgy had been in the library for the evening. She had left Cassie and Sirius in there; she couldn't help but smile to herself. She had never seen both of them studying together and they were quite adorable. They had become the Ken and Barbie of Hogwarts - no one quite expected them to last but they were quite clearly meant to be together. She walked through the fat lady portrait and walked into her dormitory. She saw Lily in bed, reading. She had a tear stained face.

'Lils!' Figgy said in horror. 'What's wrong?' She ran over to give her a hug.

Lily pulled away defensively. She wiped her face. 'Honestly, I'm fine - just being a little silly.'

Figgy not convinced, respected her friend's wishes and got into her own bed.

The next morning Cassie leapt up and shouted to her friends, 'it's breakfast!' Figgy sat up, not looking too impressed, threw a pillow at Cassie. Lily did not stir.

Cassie, not one to be ignored jumped onto the end of her bed, 'Lils I said it's breakfast time. Bacon and egg, crumpets and tea, even porridge with elderflower! Come on'. Still no movement. Cassie pulled the covers off a little.

Lily did not look at her, 'I'm not really hungry, I just want to sleep.'

Cassie looked at Figgy and shrugged.

'Come on Lily, we're not buying this. What's wrong? You never turn down a pot of tea.' Figgy said, trying to make her laugh a little.

Lily finally turned around and faced them. Apart from her red, swollen eyes, she looked as pale as a ghost. 'I feel awful, migraine and I'm achey. I just need a bit of sleep for it to wear off. Go without me'. She gave half a smile, it was enough for the girls to believe her and they left her rest.

'What do you think is wrong with her then?' Cassie asked, walking down the grand staircase.

'Not sure but I'm pretty sure it's not a migraine.' She replied.

'Hmmm' Cassie said, staring in the Marauder's direction. 'I left her with James last night when me and Sirius went to the library. Wonder if anything happened there.'

Cassie and Figgy went to sit down. Sirius slipped his hand around Cassie's waist. 'Hello beauty', he said and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

Everyone else at the table made sick sounds.

'Don't be jealous' Cassie said, secretly happy that everyone was noticing her and Sirius.

She turned to James, 'was Lily ok last night when she left the common room?' she asked.

James cleared his throat, 'yeah I think so, I didn't take a great deal of notice. Why?' He didn't look directly at her.

'No reason, she's just not too well this morning. Wondered if she looked peaky last night'.

He looked surprised, ' well now you mention it, she must have been a bit off colour - she didn't raise her voice at anyone in the common room all evening even though some of them were clearly Ravenclaws who had sneaked in'. Everyone sniggered; if anyone was going to preach at students for not following Hogwarts rules, it was bound to be Lily Evans.

James left the conversation to listen to his own thoughts. Why was Lily acting so strange? His mind wondered to the events of last night. She had clearly been flustered when he opened the door whilst only half dressed. He wasn't too sure if that was because she didn't spend much time around boys or if she liked what she saw. Then there was her little outburst; it was usual for Lily to lose her temper, particularly at him but to almost admit she was bothered about him. In a way he felt she was admitting she had feelings. He wouldn't even know what to do with that information. Sure, he had liked her a lot a year ago, to the point of obsession nearly, but after he realised what he had become and how much he hurt her, his feelings had disapparated if you will.

'Prongs, Prongs, PRONGS!'

James jumped, he looked at Moony, 'yeah?'

'Everything ok? You're very quiet.'

'Sure I'm just thinking about this Auror application I need to fill out - got to find a teacher that has given me the least number of detentions over the last six years to give me a reference.'

The whole table laughed. A challenge indeed.

Meanwhile, in the girl's dormitory, Lily was thinking she needed to get up. But where to go? She couldn't join the others - more often that not Cassie was with Sirius which means James would not be too far away. She did not know what had come over her last night; it wasn't like her to lose it like that, especially over emotions. Though she had to admit, when it came to James she acted differently - she couldn't control how she was feeling. She didn't even know how she was felt, she liked him as a friend and she missed the attention he used to pay her. She wasn't convinced however, that this was feelings of love.

'How come you can't stop thinking about that kiss then?' Lily said to herself.

She shook her head. 'Stop it Lily' and she pulled the covers back over her head.

Half hour later Lily heard a knock at her door. Don't be James, don't be James she kept saying in her head. She leapt up and put her dressing gown on.

She opened the door and standing outside was Severus.

'Hi Lily, I heard you was unwell so I came to check up on you', he said drawing his breath.

Lily smiled, 'thank you, that's kind. Come on in.'

'Is it something you ate or a bug?'

'Just a migraine, don't worry about catching anything' Lily laughed. There was an awkward silence. Severus was just staring at her as if wanting to say something and Lily didn't know what to say in this situation. She never had this issue with James, there was never silence, shouting and screaming, but never silence.

Lily smiled awkwardly, 'so-', just as Severus said 'Lil-'

'Sorry you go', she said.

'I just wanted you to know if you wanted me to cover head duties this evening, it's not a problem', he said nervously.

'Thank you, that's very kind.'

'Right, I should go then.' He stood up ready to leave.

'Yeah, I'm going to get some more sleep I think. Let me see you out.'

Lily opened the door for Snape to leave and just as she did she opened it straight to James who looked as if he was about to knock.

He messed his hair up, unsure of the situation, 'sorry I didn't realise you had company'. He took in the situation. Lily in her dressing gown and slimy Severus Snape looking pleased for himself. He cast James a look that said 'stay away, she's my property. James turned to leave.

'Goodbye then Lily, hope you get better soon' and he touched her arm and gave it a squeeze as he left. James had turned his head and seen the gesture.

Lily shut the door more confused tha ever. Did Severus like her? What did James want? Did she want to see him after the embarrassment of last night?

She decided she did. She got dressed, put a brush through her hair and a smile on her face. She looked in the mirror and thought this is the girl who must be in love. To face a man who she had embarrassed herself in front of last night. A man who had driven her mad with rage in the past. She loved him. And obviously fancied him like mad - who could blame her when she saw him shirtless last night. She smiled to herself, to be able to put her arms around those shoulders.

She wanted to find him; she knew he would make her feel better. If she could resolve some of these feelings she might finally be able to concentrate on her school work once again.

She went into the common room, briefly looked around and he wasn't there. She turned to go.

'Lil', Cassie shouted her from the sofa.

Lily turned round, trying not to look annoyed, she wanted to find James. 'Yeah' she said as sweetly as she could.

'Feeling better?'

'Loads thanks, got to get off, work to do!'

Lily ran down the staircase. Where could he be? She looked up. Above her was a portrait of a quidditch player holding his broom proudly.

That's it!

She ran out to the quidditch field in the pouring rain. There he was flying in circles around the pitch.

'JAMESSSS' She yelled.

He looked down in surprise. He landed very eloquently about two metres away from her.

He ran his fingers through his hair. 'Evans?' he said looking confused, 'you ok?

She looked flushed, what did she want to say? 'I felt like I ought to apologise about last night and wanted to explain.I -'

James cut her off. 'No need. Bad day I put it down to. And you've lost your temper with me plenty of times' he laughed.

He walked away, he couldn't deal with this right now, he had an auror application form to fill in. 'Seeya Evans.'

She ran and caught him up, she grabbed his arm, 'No', her eyes pleaded with him, 'I wanted to explain'.

'Ok but can we go where it isn't pouring?' he grinned.

They ran into the entrance hall. He was waiting for her to speak. Lily's mouth was dry, she was staring at him in his uniform, the first time she was in front of him ]when she was being honest with herself about her feelings for him.

'I don't really know what came over me. I think what with everything that has gone off between us, it doesn't feel like there has been a conclusion. I know that's a weird way to put it'.

Wow he thought, one of those talks. Here he was drenched from the rain with his broom in the middle of the entrance hall, stairs moving all around him, eyes from the portraits staring at him and Lily chooses now to talk about what went on with them.

'Right, er I wasn't really expecting this now but -'

'I know I'm sorry, lets just leave it, just after what happened in the classroom last year.' Lily blushed and looked away.

James reminded himself of that kiss. It was amazing but it was under such awful circumstances, he had coerced her into it and then goaded her afterwards. He wanted to forget about this.

He took her hand, 'I am so sorry about what an idiot I was last year. You need to believe me when I tell you I'd never do that again. I know when you started seeing Moony I acted like a jerk but if you started seeing someone now you have my word I wouldn't interfere. I've changed'.

Did he mean Snape? She thought.

'No that wasn't what it looked like.'

'It's none of my business. Look I'm dripping wet, let me go and get changed and we'll have a proper chat another time ok?'

'Ok'

And with that he left. That was not how Lily planned the evening going.