Chapter playlist: Before the worst-The Script

Present Day-

Madison Square Garden cleared out extremely fast after the performances of the night. Taylor Swift did an excellent job, along with the rest of the musicians. I was impressed. It brought me back to a time where I used to be the center of attention - it brought me back to when I used to sing and dance for a crowd, when they would cheer for me, clap their hands together after I finished. It was a feeling you couldn't explain - a tremendous feeling of delight, like you were on top of the world. I missed that feeling. . . so much.

I stood next to Jim, Taylor and Chad in the parking lot. Troy was waving at Chad on his way to his fabulous Audi R8. I couldn't keep my eyes off of him as he put his Ray-ban sunglasses to his face and slipped into his car. It seemed so fitting - he looked so Hollywood, like he just belonged to this scene. And girls were everywhere, trying to touch him, trying to grab him, screaming at him. Some were even crying. It seemed all too overwhelming.

Jim put a hand on my back, comfortingly, "Everything's going to work out, Gabby." He assured me. I wanted so desperately to believe him, but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help but wonder what the night may bring.

It had stopped raining - the sky was gloomy, surrounded with dark clouds. It looked as if it was ready to pour some more rain - maybe compose a thunderstorm. The wind was still a bit chilly - I kept my sweater clutched to my body, unable to find any warmth from it. It seemed like just yesterday Troy was the one who kept me secure, kept me warm in his arms. And here I was, shaking because of the weather. . . how much I missed having stability, having comfort.

Taylor and Chad took off towards Chad's Honda Civic, Jim headed towards his Mustang Convertible. And me, well, of course, I headed towards my wonderful car which seemed to be the most beautiful thing in the line of cars next to it. Instead of appreciating it, I found myself groaning and frowning at it. I didn't need this, I didn't need these little expensive items to make me happy. What I really needed was Troy Bolton. Fame and money seemed the least bit important.

I got in and followed behind Chad all the way back to his house. Chad's house wasn't the greatest place in the world, but it was decent. It was small, modern, and like something you'd see while walking down the road. I locked up my car and watched as everyone else got out, talking amongst each other. Troy immediately was next to Chad, rambling on about Hollywood and his latest movie projects. Apparently, High School Musical 3 was something he was looking forward to, and he was debating on a later project, something called 17.

I stiffly followed behind, and Jim appeared by my side, a forced smile on his face, as we all headed into the Danforth's kitchen.

Mrs. Danforth was on the phone with someone but as soon as her eyes found Troy's, she was giving him an embrace and mouthing things like, "How have you been?" and, "Its so nice to see you."

Troy just gave her his charming smile and accepted her hug. I couldn't help but glance over at him as he took off his sunglasses and took in the inside of the house. He didn't seem to complain, he just nodded and followed Chad down to the basement. The rest of us did the same.

Chad plopped down on a bean bag by the television, which had many different video game systems in front of it. How predictable, right? Soon enough, Taylor was next to him, his arm wrapped around her, "Well. . . you guys can stay the night if you want, Troy, you can definitely, man."

"Oh, I planned on it," Troy chuckled, while scrutinizing the room, his blue eyes dancing from the television back to the couches. In no time, he was lying back on one of the couches, lazily, his feet propped at the end of the sofa, his hands behind his head, "its pretty homey, man."

"Come on man, you're used to mansions, don't even tell me you think this place is cool," Chad shook his head, "Jim? Gab? You guys wanna stay?"

I swallowed thickly at this question as Jim hesitantly nodded. I had no other choice. I needed to get Troy back, I needed to be with him again. This may have been my last chance, how could I pass up the opportunity? "Sure." I took a seat on the opposite couch, biting my bottom lip.

"I'm exhausted," Troy yawned, "think I'm gonna fall asleep right about now."

"Well, I have an air mattress," Chad glanced over at his tired cousin, "I was thinking two people could sleep on that, one could take the couch, and Tay and I were gonna take the bed." He nodded over towards the bed in the corner of the room.

Jim's eyes were already on me from the other side of the room and I really just wanted him to accept the air mattress opportunity with me. How could I sleep in the same bed as Troy Bolton? How? My entire body would tense up - I'd have butterflies throughout the night, and I'd be desperate to have his arms around me. I'd probably be able to take his scent in, remember the way I used to cuddle up to his sweatshirt at night when I missed him. I must have been obsessed. . . but I prefer to call it something else, love, maybe.

"Well. . ." Jim began, and I watched his golden eyes snap back to the couch, "I think I'll just take this couch, it'd be rather awkward if I took the air mattress, I'm sure Gabriella and Troy wouldn't mind - surely they've had the experience before." I thought I heard some sort of mockery in his voice, but I wasn't positive.

I glared at him from across the room and in my mind cursed the idea. I couldn't look at Troy, there was too much emotion going through me right now. What if he didn't want to either, what if he hated my guts? What if he couldn't stand to be that close to me? I could tell he felt discomfort while next to me. . .

"Alright, that's fine," Troy's velvet voice seemed to interrupt my thoughts, and I couldn't help but meet his blue eyes. He was looking directly at me. There was no trace of distress in his eyes, but it seemed like he may have been faking his comfort at this moment. And then, a soft smile spread across his lips and it made me weak in the knees for a second. I had to look away.

"You sure?" Chad asked, completely baffled on why Troy would agree to such a awkward situation. Sure, we had slept together many times before, but it was all different now - he didn't love me anymore. Not after I broke his heart the way I did. That was impossible.

"Yeah it's cool, isn't it Gabriella?" I could feel the pressure of Troy's eyes on me again, and his soothing, melodic voice seemed to ease my mind. But I still felt the butterflies churning in my stomach - I was on the verge of vomiting from the empty, hollowness I felt inside of me. Being close to him would be like living the dream again, and that seemed all too familiar.

"Yeah, of course. . ." I lied, fidgeting with my hands as Chad began to turn off the lights. I hadn't realized that the performances took up half the night. It was already almost midnight, and I couldn't say I wasn't tired.

My insides trembled in panic as Chad got out the air mattress and set it across the floor. Jim was making himself comfortable on the couch across from Troy. And Troy was getting up, biting his bottom lip. I realized at this moment he looked more nervous than I probably did. And that's when I knew he was just doing this out of politeness, he secretly wanted to have nothing to do with me.

Chad spread out pillows and blankets across the air mattress and I looked over to Troy, warily. He was looking at me, his lips departing for that very moment. I felt my breathing stop for just the second and my heart skipped a beat. Yeah, there was no denying I was inevitably in love with the man.

As Chad stumbled back to his spot with Taylor, Troy was removing his shirt to reveal his muscular arms and his rippling abs. I couldn't help but stare at him, hoping to not drool over the body that I once had complete control of. Sex was the one thing we had enough of and watching him in the dimness of the room seemed to stir up my desire and want for him even more. He was down to just his boxers when he took a place on the bed, and my eyes still wandered over his body - from the hairs on his stomach to the trail to a more private area. . .

If he wasn't so attractive, things wouldn't be this tempting, or this hard.

I took off the sweater I was wearing from earlier and in the darkness, slipped into a pair of shorts and a tank-top. Nobody could really see anything now since the lights were completely shut off. And I kept my back to him as I uncomfortably laid down onto the mattress. He was lying on his back, his eyes to the ceiling. I could hear nothing but everybody's breathing. And for some reason, it made me even more nervous.

"Do you need some more blankets?" He asked quietly, and his eyes were on me again. Through the darkness, I could see the magical blue colors floating in them. I wished to look into his eyes forever, to never look away, but that was only a stupid fantasy of mine. I could barely find my voice.

"No, I'm fine," I promised him, as I pulled the covers up to the edge of my breasts. I could feel his eyes were still on me and I couldn't stop my stomach from going crazy at the intensity of them. ". . . Troy?" I suddenly broke the bare silence, wanting and needing some sort of familiarity. . .

"Huh?" He didn't take his eyes away from me as I looked to the ceiling. Our voices were hushed but it seemed fatal to speak any louder, or even just speak a lot.

"Do you hate me?" The words came out of my mouth like a question I've been dreading for the rest of my life. I could feel my lips tremble as I asked, the broken heart of mine only becoming more prominent again. I wanted to cry at just the question, I felt like my entire heart had been destroyed. And it was all my fault.

But as I looked over to meet his eyes through the eclipse, I noticed he was looking at me with confusion all over his face, his eyebrows in a straight line, ". . . Why would I hate you?"

The lump in my throat seemed to become larger, ". . . I broke up with you. . "

"Gabriella," His voice was like a song, "I could never hate you."

"But. . . I shouldn't have ended things, the way I did. . . that was so rude of me, I should have just told you ahead of time, I didn't mean to-"

"Gabriella," He cut off my rambling, "its alright, you just did what was best, and there's nothing wrong with that." Best? So he thought it was best. . . "I was an idiot," He began, "I totally screwed up everything - I could barely keep my hands to myself, and what I did with Nikki. . . there was no excuse for that. . . I was a lame excuse for a boyfriend."

"You weren't," I shook my head frantically, "you were not a horrible boyfriend,"

"No," His eyes back on the ceiling, his hands behind his head, "I messed up, too many times. I didn't give you everything I should have. But its not like I didn't try to, because I did, I really did Gabriella," his eyes were back on me, breaking me subtly, "I really loved you."

My heart seemed to throb at his words, and the shaking emotion in his voice.

"But. . ." He swallowed, "you need someone better for you, someone who's going to give you all their life, someone who won't mess up everything they do. I understand that. So don't think I blame you. . . I get it."

"But I messed up too!" I furrowed my eyebrows. "I got jealous over everything, I was just like those other girlfriends you had - I got crazy about things, and I told you I wasn't like that. . ."

"You weren't like those other girls," Troy sighed, "you were a lot better than them - I mean, I'll face it, you were the best, Gabriella." He ran his hands through his hair thoughtfully, "But I was forced to have to find a second choice."

"Second choice?" I turned to my side to face him.

"She's. . . amazing," Troy bit his bottom lip as his eyes sparkled, "I met this girl. . . at a Premiere, and I'm telling you, Gabriella, you'd love her. . ." The words didn't hit me until a second after. I felt my heart crush into a million more pieces as I turned my back to him, unable to hold back the tears that were appearing in my eyes. "I really like her. . . I mean, she's. . . well. . ." I closed my eyes painfully. "She's not you. . . but she's. . . beautiful."

The hole in my chest seemed to expand as I had to stop myself from breaking right in front of him. Tears were coming down my face as I silently wiped them away as he went on in some daydream-like state, some lovey-dovey world. It was obvious now - he had moved on. And I was left to only fall into tiny pieces. Pieces that would never be glued back together.

"I bet. . ." I forced the words out of my mouth and I felt my bottom lip tremble as I did. I hoped my voice wasn't cracking so desperately. But I knew I was caught when I felt Troy's body move to where he was facing my back.

"Gabriella?"

I fought off the tears and tried to maintain my strength, "I'm. . . happy for you." What else could I say? If it made him happy, it should have made me happy. But I couldn't help but feel the death inside of me at the actual thought of him being with someone else, kissing someone else, wanting someone else. My head spun neurotically and I couldn't push away the feelings of regret, sadness, and overall, emptiness.

"Really?" He didn't sound really convinced but he didn't question me any further. ". . . I mean, thanks. . ." He hesitated for a second, the silence only hurting me more. ". . . What about you? I mean, you and Jim seem closer. . . like, how's that going for you?" It was a question I wasn't really expecting.

"Jim?" Jim and I weren't into anything - we were simply good friends. "It's nothing."

"Yeah, he kind of has that look in his eyes, Gabriella," It was a different tone to his voice this time - something almost concerned, protective, or. . . jealous even. It seemed to confuse me, "I guess that's good - you two did have a thing before, didn't you?" At the end of the sentence, his voice seemed to break away, leaving nothing but the uncomfortable silence. "He's a cool guy - probably will be a better boyfriend than I was. . ."

"Troy. . ." My voice was shaking and he knew that - he had to of. "I don't think its possible for anyone to be better than you were."

"I do. . ." He mumbled, almost ashamed of the idea. The silence came back right after. I felt my eyes were closing - sleep coming to me faster than I expected.

I woke up - an aloof, lonely feeling coming over me. Something rumbled in my stomach uncomfortably and it wasn't just hunger - there was something that had died in the past month. My insides were dead, numb to the core. Everything that once was alive was now hurting. My heart seemed to yearn for something unconditional, some sort of love I once had.

My dreams, the memories, everything seemed to be lost. I didn't have any aspirations anymore. He was gone. He was my dream, my hope, my miracle. And now, he wasn't there anymore.

I turned around to face the empty side of the mattress where he was last night. My heart broke even further. He wanted someone else. Yeah. She was the best thing for him. He needed someone from Hollywood, someone like him. He couldn't be with someone as normal as me. I may have been a celebrity for a little while but I never changed to his level. I never had that much attention to where sleeping at night was a problem, where I heard little girls screaming in my nightmares. No. It wasn't that bad. And nothing had gotten to my head either.

Everyone must have been up already. The entire basement was empty. That wretched, remorseful feeling encountered me again. We were supposed to go down together, this was our love story, our dream, and right when we were about to touch the climax, I let go of his hand, just let him fall on his own. And he was able to find someone else in the matter of a month.

What was real and what wasn't? Did he even love me, ever? Was it ever actually there? Wouldn't he still love me if that was the case? Or could someone fall out of love that quickly? It seemed irrational to me. But guys have some amazing way of letting go of things really fast. And not caring anymore.

I needed to get up from the bottom of the pit that I fell to when I let him go. He had gotten up, he was ready to move on. I just needed to find that strength, to find the power to accept that he's not coming back, that I royally messed up, that I'd never be in his arms again.

I pushed myself up from the mattress and I headed towards the door. I could hear Chad, Taylor, and Jim talking amongst each other. I breathed in sharply as I noticed a small paper on the coffee table. It had writing on it that I recognized as Troy's. My heart irrationally did a flip flop as I turned it over. A small note was written at the top, and below it were a bunch of lyrics.

I messed up. . . and I lied. I wrote this a long time ago, and I knew it wouldn't be right if the person who inspired me to write this never read it. I'm sorry about everything. I had to leave today. I'm still in love with Gabriella. I know she doesn't love me anymore. . . I should have never came. Its just too hard.

-Troy

Tears flew down my face as I began to sing the lyrics out loud. He still loved me?

END OF CHAPTER